The Best Of The Rational Male – Year 5

girl-and-devil-1

Well another year has come and gone. I generally view the end of August as my year marker for The Rational Male. I didn’t add a page for year 4 since I’m not sure I want to clutter up the top of my blog layout with links pages, but I may yet combine the best of years 4 and 5 into one page.

A lot has happened in this span, I began the Red Pill Monthly talks with Niko Chosky. I still think I sound like a nasally teenager when I hear my voice, but the feedback has been nothing short of amazing on these so I believe we’ll continue with them for the foreseeable future.

Right after my year 4 best-of I did my first liv appearance in Vegas with Christian, Goldmund and Tanner Guzy at The Man in Demand Conference. I’ve discussed doing another one with Christian McQueen and we’re looking into venues for 2017. This was just an overwhelming experience to meet up with my readers in person, do the talk and have dinner at Sinatra’s. This was the first time for me to do an on premise event and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a nervous wreck the night before, but every guy in attendance just impressed me to no end and the whole thing was something I’ll remember for the rest of my life.

I went through the process of having the audio mastered (courtesy of Sam Botta) to make it available via DigiRAMP for anyone to get a hold of now too.

Probably the biggest TRM news of 2016 was the release of the audio book of The Rational Male. It was a long time coming, but I think well worth the wait. I’ve come to believe that a book needs a time to mature into what its overall reception will be. The Rational Male book continues to sell very well and my focus has always been on emphasizing the printed book above all else since I feel that medium is the best to spark discussions and pass along to men who need it at the right time. That said, Sam Botta convinced me that men listen to books more than they read them so I thought the time was right and he’d just gotten back in the saddle so to speak after his debilitation in a hit & run car incident.

The book has exceeded any expectation I ever had for it and I still receive emails and tweets about how it’s changed men’s lives in the best possible way. The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine is also doing far better than I’d hoped if not eclipsing the first book. Sam and I are now in the process of doing the audio for TRMPM and I expect it will go live in early 2017.

The blog traffic continues to grow too.

stats

As most readers know, I do very little self-promotion for TRM and I only advertise the book on the TRP reddit forum and posting occasional Amazon reviews on Twitter. I always want the the message of this blog and my work to be relayed by the men who read and contribute to it. I’m a believer in the bottom up plan for improving men’s lives and ultimately the social order we find ourselves. I’m glad to see men passing on what they learn here. I’m happy to be able to focus on my ideas and have men spread the word for me.

I’ve done art direction and brand management for over two decades now. It’s what I do for a living so it wouldn’t be a stretch for me to convert TRM into a similar commercial success, but that’s never been my goal. From the outset I wanted to just do what I do and talk about the ideas I’ve come to or the dots I’ve connected. That isn’t to say I don’t appreciate making a little money from it, but I’ll never compromise my message to sell more books or start a Patreon site.

I’ve had guys tell me I should quit my day job and write full time, but I’ve never really needed to be an author for my livelihood. I do quite well for myself and not being beholden to being an official author allows me the freedom to do what I do without the concern of having to write ‘for’ anyone. I know there are guys whose schtick is to treat their writing like a product and they tell you to write for what your audience wants to read, but I think this inherently compromises the authenticity of the real message.

My goal isn’t to sell books, it’s to genuinely change men’s lives for the better with the tools and truths I present in my work. The Rational Male isn’t a ‘product’ for salesmen to sell, it’s a collection of ideas that, really, we’re all responsible for authorship of. Ideas are a hard thing to suppress, and they last far longer than the men who conceived them.

Honestly, when I started this blog back in 2011 I never imagined it would grow into what it’s become today. I have some plans now to do a site redesign. I’ve never really focused on the look of the blog, I just poured myself into its content, but I think after 5 years I’ll freshen the look up soon. I’m also in the middle of the first round of edits for my third book, the working title being The Rational Male, The Red Pill. That may change, but the primary focus will be on defining what the Red Pill is from an intersexual dynamics perspective. As a matter of policy I generally refrain from being too prescriptive for individual men to apply their Red Pill awareness, but in the new book I’ll break this rule and provide some generally applicable ways to live in a Red Pill paradigm.

Red Pill parenting and family interactions in a feminine-primary social order will feature prominently. Yes, it will include selections from the blog again, but with each I’ve added what I believe are general solutions to Red Pill problems, plus more new content.

Well, that’s it. I continue to be humbled by the response and reception of The Rational Male and I want to extend my true gratitude for everyone’s input, participation, reading my ideas and helping me do what I do – even the critics and detractors make me a better Red Pill author. So here’s what I thought represents the best posts from year 5.

Let me know what your favorites were in the comments and let me know how TRM has helped you as well.

 

With much gratitude,

Rollo Tomassi

 

https://therationalmale.com/2016/04/14/the-rational-male-audio-book/

Interviews

https://therationalmale.com/2016/01/24/red-pill-monthly/

https://therationalmale.com/2016/02/10/the-red-pill-monthly/

https://therationalmale.com/2016/04/21/the-red-pill-monthly-2/

https://therationalmale.com/2016/06/29/a-man-in-demand-radio-talk-3/

https://therationalmale.com/2016/08/15/the-red-pill-monthly-frame/

The Feminine Imperative

https://therationalmale.com/2015/09/02/solipsism-i/

https://therationalmale.com/2015/09/09/solipsism-ii/

https://therationalmale.com/2016/04/04/damaged-goods/

https://therationalmale.com/2016/05/06/good-girls-bad-girls/

https://therationalmale.com/2016/06/01/mansplaining/

https://therationalmale.com/2016/07/11/sugar-babies/

https://therationalmale.com/2016/08/30/losing-my-religion/

Parenting

https://therationalmale.com/2015/09/28/the-red-pill-parent/

https://therationalmale.com/2015/09/30/hypergamy-knows-best/

https://therationalmale.com/2015/10/07/red-pill-parenting-part-i/

https://therationalmale.com/2015/10/14/red-pill-parenting-part-ii/

https://therationalmale.com/2015/10/23/neofemininity/

Red Pill / Game

https://therationalmale.com/2015/11/03/christian-dread/

https://therationalmale.com/2016/01/25/ovulation-dread/

https://therationalmale.com/2015/11/10/the-purple-pill/

https://therationalmale.com/2015/11/15/dont-hate-the-beta/

https://therationalmale.com/2016/01/06/the-red-pill-balance/

https://therationalmale.com/2016/02/23/the-pareto-principle/

https://therationalmale.com/2016/07/29/the-cardinal-rule-of-sexual-strategies/

Positive Masculinity

https://therationalmale.com/2016/05/15/tribes/

Hypergamy

https://therationalmale.com/2015/12/07/open-cuckoldry/

https://therationalmale.com/2015/12/16/open-relationships/

https://therationalmale.com/2016/03/29/evolving-hypergamy/

https://therationalmale.com/2016/03/14/plan-b/

https://therationalmale.com/2016/06/16/late-life-hypergamy/

Social

https://therationalmale.com/2015/12/21/storytelling/

https://therationalmale.com/2016/01/01/empathy-2016/

https://therationalmale.com/2016/02/03/the-war-brides-of-europe/

https://therationalmale.com/2016/02/15/the-warrior-princess/

https://therationalmale.com/2016/03/03/gamer-girls/

https://therationalmale.com/2016/04/24/fempowerment/

https://therationalmale.com/2016/05/01/ghosts-in-the-machine/

1,110 comments

  1. “I know there are guys whose schtick is to treat their writing like a product and they tell you to write for what your audience wants to read, but I think this inherently compromises the authenticity of the real message.”

    An experience I’ve gone through on YT a number of times:

    I find a channel I like. Somebody talking about things that they’re itching to talk about and I find their point of view interesting – and that’s what I’m looking for. People saying things that are important to them, even things that I may disagree with.

    And it goes on like that for a while, they start attracting a subscriber base, and then one day they want to have The Talk:

    “Hey guys, it’s like totally awesome that you dig me and shit. I never thought my channel would get this sort of attention, so now I’d like to grow it and make it even better, and to do that I want you to tell what YOU want me to talk about.

    At that point I know the channel is about to go dead for me.

  2. ” and to do that I want you to tell what YOU want me to talk about.”

    men never stop finding ways to cut off their own balls

    respect and freedom of speech are way more important than agreement

    ever since I first heard ben fold five band music I hated it. really hated it.

    then I heard way to normal. to this day I still play the whole thing through at least thgree times before I move on. brilliant. focused. layered.

    then I heard lonely avenue. might be better than way to normal. hard to say. hornby is gifted

    it’s kind of a weird thing when two albums I listen to all the fucking time are from an artist that wouldn’t appear anywhere close to the top of my favorites list and who I can’t stand to see live

    from what I can tell, ben doesn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks. he does what gets him off. sometimes it’s going to resonate with a crowd, sometimes not, but the point is he doesn’t give a fuck because it resonates with him at that moment in time

    if a featured performer/man is asking the crowd/woman what they want to hear it’s already over

    I don’t want to go to the show and have to write the setlist as well. I want the band to hit the stage and rip my face off, not ask me how I’m feeling or what I want to hear. just fukcing play and play well

    I imagine this is how women feel all the time. they just want to be swept away. no planning, no puppet strings, no fourth wall breaks. just the suspension of disbelief at the hand of a competent guide

    “I’ve never really focused on the look of the blog, I just poured myself into its content, but I think after 5 years I’ll freshen the look up soon.”

    it’s usually bad news when a product on the shelf says, “new look, same great product”

    the problem isn’t with the manufacturer or the product formula. chances are everything is going great on their end.

    the problem is with the end user. for some reason they have become desensitized or bored with the product even though it’s properly formulated and works perfectly

    so the hope is that some bright new packaging and a shelf reset will revitalize interest.

    lol.

    I would drink montrachet if it came in shit brown aluminum cans labeled “homeless shelter garbage water”

    packaging is ultimately useless outside of it’s ability to deliver the product in good working order.

    a man will wade through hundreds of shitty looking websites to find the info he’s looking for and when he finds it, he won’t give a shit if the font is pink on a background photo of purple ponies frolicking in a dewey meadow

    all that matters is the authenticity of the information

    that Rollo is looking at packaging instead of content should be a clear sign that most men have no interst in the red pill. why that should be the case is a total mindfuck

  3. Thank you for everything Rollo.

    While I appreciate the advice for older guys with families, it’d be cool to see some advice aimed at guys in the middle period of mid to late 20’s to 30’s when a man’s friends are settling down left right and center and the pressure to conform becomes hardest…

    Becoming the “enemy” in all of your friends girlfriend’s eyes, friends buying houses and focusing on their spouses, sometimes make you question the life choices. Developing hobbies and establishing and maintaining a male tribe or fraternity in the face of feminine resistance, moving to where the action is, living life to the fullest in a Red Pill way – perhaps if things in the first part of life didn’t exactly go to plan, would be cool to see. I understand that you don’t prescribe specifics and every man is different, but touching on this age group if you’re also going to focus on older, family aged men would be cool.

  4. Hey Rollo, your blog and books are a game changer in my life. I’m excited to hear about the parenting aspects the blog topics may be going towards.

  5. A big congrats on year five and also on being able to do this in addition to family and career. Your dedication, heart, and analysis is a beacon of light in a muddled world.

    And also a big thanks to the many commenters that contribute positively to this blog.

    It goes without saying but it’s always nice to say, that this blog has changed my life for the positive.

  6. Rollo,
    Thank you for what you’ve done. If you had done nothing beyond writing The Rational Male, you would have already made more of a contribution to the cause of male freedom than anyone else. I’m rereading it constantly, and it has restored my life and my sanity. My life is so much richer for the clarity of your book, and the practical ideas that they suggest.
    I’m an older guy (nearly 60), but I’ve managed to find the strength to leave a loveless marriage and strike out on my own, terrified but determined – – and significantly financially damaged. It’s been a rough couple years, but I’m now a stronger, smarter, more “centered” man – – and person – – for it. Your book literally helped me change myself from a drone trapped into a life of “obligation” to serve others as a slave to their unreasonable demands, into a fully free man with a meaningful life centered around things that truly matter to me. My relationships are fewer but deeper and more meaningful. The divorce was difficult and costly, but it was – and remains – work every penny.
    I owe you a debt of gratitude that I can never repay. Thank you.

  7. @Ergo. I lost a lot on my divorce (~20 years ago), but as my father told me happiness and peace of mind are priceless. I left with no alimony, no loss of retirement, no CS (0 kids), but lost the house and a car. I gained so much more afterwards. I feel your freedom and happiness brother.

  8. @KFG, Fleezer
    What, exactly, are you trying to say? That Rollo has jumped the shark because he has asked what were guy’s favourite posts and how TRM has helped? Hardly the same as saying “so..
    whaddaya youse wanna talk about?”. As to content, there probably is a logical limit as to the practical number of common situations where underlying RP theory may be applied. There’s probably some scope to explore RP in relationships between men, and in employment.
    On the other hand, Rollo isn’t doing this for his own edification. He isn’t doing this in a vacuum. If he wants to help a lot of men, he’s going to have to address what concerns those men.

    @Rollo et al
    The “Losing my Religion” post has been somewhat challenging, particularly given my own upbringing. I’ve been reading TRM for 18 months or so. It certainly hasn’t “solved” my problems, but it has gone a very, very long way to giving me the necessary tools to do so, and most importantly, the requisite mindset.

    Thanks, Rollo, I appreciate your work.

  9. “What, exactly, are you trying to say? That Rollo has jumped the shark because he has asked what were guy’s favourite posts and how TRM has helped?”

    No. I was agreeing with him, and quoted the bit I agreed with before expressing my agreement.

  10. 50 yr old divorced father of 14 yr old twin boys. I came into RP about 5 yrs ago after a few failed attempts at dating. Low point was being rejected a 47 yr old overweight single mom with teenage kids. I’m so glad that didn’t work out now!

    Best part for me is being able to look back on my mistakes and CLEARLY see where I screwed up, and to look at my friends’ failing marriages and see what they’re doing wrong too.

    Not sure if I’ll ever want another relationship but it’s nice knowing what to do right so my options will always be open.

  11. “All I want to do is change a WordPress theme”

    How about all comments on one page and nested comments? Big time saver…

  12. Keep up the good work. After bouncing around the dating scene for the last number of months, I did a quick reread of some important sections of the Rational Male to be better armed.

    I just had a woman try to lock me into exclusivity under her frame and her terms. She wanted me to make her the purpose of my life. She wanted me to spend most of my free time with her. She claimed to have no other boyfriends, and she wanted me to give up my other girlfriends. When I refused to be exclusive, she dropped me. Following Rational Male advice, I simply let her go, with the view that if she comes back, it’s under my frame and my terms. Or she is gone forever and therefore not worth my time since she didn’t have 100% interest level in me.

    Without the Rational Male advice, back in my old beta days, I would have been compromising myself all over the place to win her back.

  13. The Losing My Religion post was easily the best of 2016. Especially with Ya Really trying to convince the older men around here that having an alpha frame is not enough to keep an under age 25 girl HB 7+ loyal with all that exposure she has had to social media- FB,twitter,Linked-in,Tinder etc.

  14. @Ergo Slug – FUCKING THIS! “Your book literally helped me change myself from a drone trapped into a life of “obligation” to serve others as a slave to their unreasonable demands, into a fully free man with a meaningful life centered around things that truly matter to me.”

    I wonder why guys here never respond to my commentary on “eusociality” and group selection? Socializing men to value themselves based on service to the collective and/or to women and family is a crucial aspect of modern human society. But it has a devastating psycho-social cost on the men who put that bit in their mouths.

    In my case, such a desire was put on steroids by two factors. First, my own family of origin was such a nightmare, and as a result I desperately wanted to build a healthy, whole family. Second, it made me seek validation from others versus myself to value myself. Work, family, country, other obligations – my sense of myself was always attached to how I served those institutions. I always felt like I had to “earn it” – everywhere and all the time.

    Perhaps making men into service animals is good for humanity, but it sure as shit wasn’t good for me. I literally fucked up my entire life due to this wrongheaded orientation cuz i was always in conflict with myself. And I couldn’t make sense of it either. Unwinding such a basic, internalized view is hard and it’s not obvious that it’s a problem when you are in it.

    You younger guys, this is what some of us old guys are trying to say to you about marriage etc. Are you really doing it cuz it’s WHAT YOU WANT? Or do you believe way deep down inside that you are “doing the right thing”? And that you will be respected and rewarded and valued for doing the right thing? If so, get that nobody will appreciate your sacrifices. In fact, many of those you serve will laugh at you and treat you like you are pathetic for putting yourself last. Society thinks you are a fucking joke in general.

    If you want to get married because it’s something you want, emanating from your own MPO, then fine. But I suspect many of you young guys are still programmed at a basic level to be chivalrous and have romantic notions about marriage and women. Until you scrape that shit off, and run your life for your own purposes for a while – and bang some hotties along the way who will fuck you like a porn star cuz you aren’t their subjugated tool – you don’t know shit. And should stay away from marriage.

    I’m not bitter, I’m smarter…And remember, marrying badly is the single biggest thing you can do to fuck up your life. Not marrying any particular women is unlikely to fuck up your life. Just think about that – particularly you @Southern Dude!!!!

  15. @ Rollo

    Excited about the new book, and also very glad to be a part of this community.

    I’m really glad to hear your take on writing, too, as a fellow (closet) writer myself. I won’t get into that except to say I’m 100% on board with your take on authenticity and the importance of not diluting or compromising anything in exchange for some paltry ego gratification.

    Which, by the way, I also see as a definition of Beta. Seeing other RP bloggers go Purple Pill made me lose just about every ounce of respect I previously had for them….definitely a sad and pathetic state of affairs, and a huge Beta Tell on their part.

  16. @ scrib

    Right on. I would’ve been completely opposed to that advice before TRM, because of the White Knight brainwashing. I swallowed Beta Game hook, line, and sinker, and would’ve tried to throw you under the bus in hopes that some random Internet chick would notice me and want to bang me for being so noble.

    That is UTTER INSANITY that I’m beyond elated to have moved beyond.

    And now the initial anger, rage, depression and hatred I had when I first found TRM years ago is just about dissipated.

    I was an extremely bitter, hateful, resentful guy when I first found TRM. And I did not like what I read. A lot of it was very hard to process.

    And a lot of it still is, but I’m much more at peace with it all now. Even if I’m still not doing everything my gut instincts are telling me to do, I can at least take responsibility for it and not send myself to an early grave by getting pissed off and upset about it all the time, or expecting anything to change without me doing anything.

    But yeah. Once you’re making your way to the other side, seeing where you used to be is crazy. I can’t believe I was who I was all those years ago. Once you read TRM and get that stuff in your head, there’s no going back.

    The bright side is that it is, unequivocally, for the better. There is no way in hell I’d want to go back to where I was 10 years ago, unless it meant I could apply all the RP knowledge I have now.

  17. “the hope is that some bright new packaging and a shelf reset”

    Just a theme change isn’t a big deal. Rollo is basically giving a heads up he will change it. Some people go their panties all in a bunch over a site change so it’s good to let them know ahead of time. Others don’t give a crap.

    Themes and styles should be congruent to the content. Rolex watches don’t get delivered and sold in a rusty metal can. Why shouldn’t the style match the content? It’s not like he is going to do the inverse, making the content match a style. That would be lame and that’s not Rollo.

    Aside from style, there are always new functions developed in WordPress and perhaps a few changes could be made for commenting and users.

  18. “While I appreciate the advice for older guys with families, it’d be cool to see some advice aimed at guys in the middle period of mid to late 20’s to 30’s when a man’s friends are settling down left right and center and the pressure to conform becomes hardest…”

    +1. Easy to say spinning plates at 33 is the way to go, but when you go on a family trip and all your brothers and sisters are with their respective spouses it sucks.

  19. No amount of thanks would be sufficient enough to express what you’ve contributed toward the greater good of men everywhere, Rollo. I can’t even visualize where I might be today if not for TRM and the thoughtful and unfiltered dialogue that occurs here. Although I don’t comment as much as I used to, I do read everything–including the comments–that are published here. And I have managed to help out a few other men I know by sending them here, then being available to answer their questions, and, if necessary, redirect their energies back to focus on a Red Pill mindset when interactions or habits lead them back toward what washed their ships over the rocks in the first place.

    The Rationale Male has been (and still is) the foremost factor in the improvement of my life. Thanks once again for everything you do, Rollo.

    (and an immensely grateful shout-out to YaReally, as well)

  20. Congratulations on the milestone Rollo! Your work has been invaluable to many, and obviously you’ve been very successful. It is an interesting juxtaposition against some of your detractors who’ve headed into the dustbin of obscurity. It almost makes one want to Giggle. 🙂

  21. @Carl
    “Especially with Ya Really trying to convince the older men around here that having an alpha frame is not enough to keep an under age 25 girl HB 7+ loyal with all that exposure she has had to social media- FB,twitter,Linked-in,Tinder etc.”

    “Monogamy” in 2016:

    She keeps her orbiters because she “can’t delete Facebook that’s how I keep in touch with my family!!” while the guy gives up his options. SIGN ME UP!! lol

  22. All I want to do is change a WordPress theme. 😒

    Geeze, start with something easier, like a perpetual motion machine.

  23. @scrib and @phluff and others

    I never thought about eusociality ‘cos it’s one of them $5 wurds us inter-lectuals don’t use. More seriously, it never impacted on me because of how non-conformity was literally beaten into me. Anyone ever see the movie “Bully” where all the Good Kids wail on a four-eyed boy on the bus? That was me in my sprog days – a lot like that. I encountered, adapted, and overcame it (i.e. I grew up and so did they). But the one thing that stayed was: fuck the notion of doing what “society” or “culture” wants me to do. Why should I, when during my formative years I was exhorted to go die in a fire? Now that I’m un-sprogged I’m supposed to Hear and Oh-bay just ‘cos it’s in a book you read? For whom? What’s my prize? The unheard, never-spoken and unthought approval of unknown fucksticks who will never give 1 ½ shits?

    So that part of unplugging for me was and is easy. Sure you have to go along to get along in a professional sense – can’t be Corey Worthington 24/7, it pisses people off and you don’t get the gig. Pick your battles etc. But a wave of bile always rises up in me whenever anyone –pundit or neighbor or cousin or SJW or Nrx Churchian – sez I have a “duty” to society to follow some social or cultural norm just because the TV said it.

    Now here’s the joke: while I was so proud of my self-regarded iconoclast status, not thinking about what house I owned or car I drove or band I liked or coffee I drank – I fell right into everything the Blue Pill zeitgeist taught like a fly into syrup. Funny huh? Maybe because the promise we all heard then seemed so fair: girls luv SNAGs, be one too, get your Nice Guy badge, and you’ll get yours.

    I got mine alright. Damn near went off the rails for it. See I’m one of those still-ambulatory Ents, a/k/a old greybeard cunts, with a wife and a kid and a dog and a cat, or some combination thereof, for whom the Red Pill was the tonic I needed. Some years ago I was flummoxed and frustrated, no idea what I was doing wrong, so many covert contracts I couldn’t keep track of the real ones. I like so many others was headed for James Cameron’s Abyss, abiding by what we might call the Misery Method.

    My personal circumstance back to Reality ™, again, doesn’t matter – I don’t wanna write it, you don’t wanna read it. But at least it all makes SENSE. And whatever happens – even if what’s good now may not stay good forever – I can stay locked on WHAT IS, and put aside WHAT SHOULD BE, which, as dear dead Lenny Bruce said, is a DIRTY FILTHY LIE.

    So it’s OK we old cunts weigh in, not to tell you young cunts what to do, certainly not to say to fulfill your “duty” to “society”, but to scream in unison: DON’T DO IT THE WAY WE DID IT! DANGER WILL ROBINSON DANGER! Listen to the infield guys. Use what works for you. Don’t give up and join It’s Just Lunch. Don’t beat up on YaReally – yeah what he reports may keep changing, but that’s because THE FIELD KEEPS CHANGING from under him, and what worked six months ago is today’s Chode chatter. The CALL is coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!

    Besides the late lamented Mr. Schneider – whose “Father Flotski’s Triumph” from 1959 still gives Special Snowflakes the vapors today – my other WORD to live by is from Sicilian Patriarch, Music-Type Genius and Professional Prick Frank Zappa, who lectured a hippie audience thus:

    “Every one of you in this room is wearing a uniform, and don’t kid yourself.”

  24. YaReally, that pic is worth 1,000 words, no explanation needed.

    I’m sure she’s a good girl, too. Might even be active in her church.

  25. Plus for the churchgoing men who read and lurk here, this site has complimentarity with Dalrock’s site. Never mind the driveby churchian Ayahtollah wannabes. Take what works that is congruent with your beliefs and leave the rest.

  26. Rollo, you have been a lifesaver. Not that I was suicidal due to my divorce after 27 years of marriage. I have been the beneficiary of so much insight from you and the commenters here. I do have a question though, chicks I talk to seem to volunteer that they have some sort of malady (Hashimoto’s, scoliosis, spongy kidneys). I’ve reviewed your posts but fail to find the reasons for this. Are they just trying to disqualify themselves as long term mates?

  27. @Rollo This blog and your writings have reframed the narrative that has been lost over the last 20 years. Men have either voluntarily or through legislation given up and surrendered to women their balls.

    The themes you introduce in your writings are helping us gain insights into being better men.

    It’s always interesting how the topic also sees new insights and shared experiences–our recent discussion about orbiters and how older dudes need to understand the prevalence of InstaGoogleTweetFace in a girl’s world was a great off-shoot from the main topic.

  28. @Rollo – I’m not good at stack-ranking posts and picking favorites etc. I simply skip the posts I don’t find interesting, but i find them all interesting so there is that…

    It is time to say thanks to you, again, and to this community without which I would most likely be dead. Not particularly chipper so I’ll keep it short. But don’t let my brevity make you think I’m not grateful, or moved. I’m both, and deeply so…

  29. I’m also a fan of Fred Flange’s latest comment. Very good stuff.

    I have to agree with Fred that I never thought about eusociality. (But also admit that E.0 Wilson’s stuff is perhaps the only book I didn’t read this year.) I never felt led by by Society. And for a damn good reason since 1977.

    I never bought into conformity or going along with the crowd. And at one point this became a weakness. (Also agree with Fred that young guys shouldn’t “DON’T DO IT THE WAY WE DID IT!” on some things, but should do it the way we did it on other things. Life is dynamic and changing and you have to roll with the punches.

    With that said I think “Tribes” was the best essay of the year. It was fantastic. It was well written, extensive in it’s scope and gave truly actionable advice. In retrospect for me it mirrors my salvation from Fred Flange explains in going against the grain of larger society. You can only act in a bottoms up way to get agency in your life unless you are dealing with all the red pill truths and game that you can muster.

    I inadvertently (with high desire to get it, but not knowing the forward value, just guys with the same purpose) gathered a tribe of men that I could hang out with and resonate with and do masculine things 6 years ago. I was never competent in that, but am now. Prior to that in the previous 30 years I was not much into believing anything society told me. I even decided it was a glorious game, but always wanted to know the rules in order to have game, but never had the right tools due to the lack of awareness and proper game. That awareness and game only came over the last three years thanks to the manosphere. All the answers are there to be interpreted properly by an individual with his own circumstances.

    The essay Tribes describes everything I did right along that journey in my retrospective analysis. And the whole time I celebrated the fact that real men, with real skills and few self doubts were there along for the journey against the FI and there to have my back in a masculine journey of regaining wisdom of men that never rained down upon me in youth.

    I see all the time in manosphere comments, the lack of a tribe of men in any one man’s comments. (And look at a successful guy in achieving his goals like YaReally, I can only imaging he sticks with his tribe of high quality men like there is no tomorrow. There’s gold in them there tribes of men, whether it be two guys, five guys, ten guys or 15 guys.) It is how it has always been in the DNA of men. They work together or they die alone.

    I wanna write my story, even if I’m somewhat inept at making it universal. It is universal even if you don’t want to read it. I wanna write about not being suppressed as a masculine male, reading 10 year old, as well as current manosphere material, proper mindset and joining with other males in real life and online to accomplish Rollo’s stated goals. A ground up approach to positive masculinity and personal agency. As well as the value of Relationship Game with quality women.

    @Walawala
    “It’s always interesting how the topic also sees new insights and shared experiences–our recent discussion about orbiters and how older dudes need to understand the prevalence of InstaGoogleTweetFace in a girl’s world was a great off-shoot from the main topic.”

    Older dudes may have empathy for younger dudes. But why do they need to understand social media? All technology and social media is a detriment to actual people interacting with social skills with each other one on one and in groups. If older men understood it well, does that mean they might come up with old school answers? It’s all on an acellerated curve, but it has been going on for many decades now. It’s not the end of the world, it’s just another thing in decline. Things always decline, and you can always advance your purpose.

    An old school answer is to isolate and be the one a good woman wants to be with and then add value to a womans life as an alpha or a provider. To lead her to less technology and social interactions at times, while then releasing her into social situations and being good enough that she actually wants to be with you.

    Get out in nature, don’t rely yourself on technology as a way to get away from relationship game. Even if you are a PUA, you can still derive value from Relationship Game. And that takes further skills, and does require actual compromise from positions that actually get the girl in the first place.

    But it also takes a valuable woman. I.E., as in what Rollo says, the value intrinsic in a woman is the value she brings after she has sex with you.

    Unless you want to churn woman as a PUA, the goal should be to actually find that value that she has and target valuable women. It’s not like there aren’t women with intrinsic value out there at all. (But I haven’t field tested this. If I’m wrong, then why bother sticking with any one woman for any length of time? And if a man want’s to complain about how hard it is to pick up another woman, then shouldn’t he target only the valuable one with relationship game and lock her down? That is a paradox right there. Lock down a good one or keep not having a good one.)

    Sure it’s harder. It’s always harder every six years for anything human.

    That’s why we are here on Rollo’s blog. You have been doing heroic work here Rollo. Thank You very much.

  30. @ YaReally; Exactly, bro. Once a man sees it, he cannot unsee it ever again. It’s everywhere and it ain’t going away anytime soon.

  31. @SJF “”Older dudes may have empathy for younger dudes. But why do they need to understand social media? All technology and social media is a detriment to actual people interacting with social skills with each other one on one and in groups. If older men understood it well, does that mean they might come up with old school answers?””

    If you don’t keep up with what’s going on in the world or understand how the world works or how technology is now driving social behaviours, you’re lost.

    This is where the “generation gap” arises. To be Red Pill/Game Aware…regardless of your age, but especially if you’re an “older dude”—you need to seen to have “value”.

    The girls I’m seeing now are all under 30. If I can’t communicate with them about what’s happening in the world, trends, current technology….then my SMV drops. That isn’t a theory, it’s a proven fact.

    A Red Pill man has to be his own man first. That means being well-read, accomplished, independent. Ask a girl “What’s snapchat?” and it’s a tingle-killer.

    YaReally—-chime in here….I think the point is still not setting in.

    The guys who are starting to learn game or adopt the Red Pill need to understand that having a high SMV isn’t just about being ripped and dressing well….it’s those intangible qualities—being able to tease, being socially savvy, being able to see how the girl you’re banging in her 20’s sees guys in her 20’s vs how she sees you.

    She wants the mature, experienced guy….not grandpa…Technology, social media—it’s critical.

    I was explaining to the girl I’m banging how we used to do it….if you wanted to access porn or “bootleg” rock concerts—you had to comb the classifieds in Rolling Stone and other more underground publications, order it using a “Money Order” (not PayPal) and then wait. The “vhs tape” would arrive and the content you wanted would often be 3rd or 4th generation fuzzy copies buried in a tape that had a sitcom at the header to hide the forbidden content.

    That to her was sexy….but it was a window on my world…..I certainly wouldn’t be advertising that knowledge.

    Wearing a dad sweater, wearing dad jeans….having a dad gut…nothing sexy for 20’s girls in that without that intrinsic ability to tease her by understanding her world.

    Funny…I gamed and number closed a cute 32 year old nurse. It just didn’t go anywhere. I found her…”old”…tired, boring. Then I realized that is how a 20’s girl would see me without being Red Pill aware and plugged into the world today and yes, that includes understanding and using social media.

    Guess what..by being a part of this blog…you’re on social media.

  32. You may not be interested in eusociality, but that makes eusociality particularly interested in you.

    It is the enemy of praxeology.

  33. “If you don’t keep up with what’s going on in the world or understand how the world works or how technology is now driving social behaviours, you’re lost.”

    Come on now. I don’t recall ever being lost. I recall my blood sugar being so low that my brain was lost for a moment. But that is what glucose tablets are for.

    My wife and children are consuming that shit by the boatload. They are still good and valuable family members. It is not a deal breaker in my purpose and my mission. It is not even a minor stumbling block today.

    It is a buffer to really engaging. And that is a real problem with gaming young women. Buffers dilute the highs and mute the lows. The highs are a dopamine hit of excitement, and the lows are a lesson of pain to never fucking do that again. No pain on their part lessens their growth as much as not ever touching a hot stove for 25 years. Banned em never really touched a stove and look at how that girl turned out. Fake. He father buffered her with his generosity.

    Your premise is that if I want to interact with the younger crowd, then I have less traction if I don’t know their music, their social media. True enough if I want to play that game, I need to pay the price.

    I understand you guys need to know this stuff. Why do I unless it is to assist in advice, knowledge or wisdom to get you laid with young girls.

    We’re on the same side of game, but we are worlds apart. Social media is not ruining Rollo’s, Blax’s, Sentient’s nor my world. It is just a tool out there and it is giving advantage to young, hot, tight women.

    It is a shit test. You can let it bother you, you can react emotionally to it, you can agree and amplify, you can change the subject, you can isolate the target from social media (if possible/ or not), you can pressure flip, you can go nuclear option, or you can do it the old fashioned way and command respect (good luck with that in the young crowd with 4 billion options).

    Fact is it is and obstacle that doesn’t hinder some older guys, and if you see it as a high hurdle, make that hurdle lower by getting better, not wishing it were easier.

    I’m not being totally non empathetic about this any more than one of Blax’s uncles or grandfathers would tell him to suck it up and deal with it. What more do you want on social media from older guys? To actually figure it out and have a keystroke for making it easier? It goes with the territory. I feel your pain, kind of, but not really. You still have to do the work. Or Adapt.

  34. It is good for guys to understand the prevalence of orbiters and social media, but the flip side of that understanding is always ‘ What Are You Gonna Do about It???’.

    Remember, a lot of the chicks with a billion likes on instabitch or whatever, They are still just girls. Sure, it effects her psyche, but so do a bunch of other things.

    Chicks with social media have options, lol, but do not be fooled into believing that you are counted out because she has these ” options “. She can’t actually utilize the bulk of these options. There is always too much of a ‘ good ‘ thing fellas.

    Question: What should it mean to a man that a girl/woman has options?

    I am not discounting that broads have a lot more ‘ available ‘ options, but what I am saying is that most of these options are not real. Names on a screen type options. The other thing is that there are a million dudes on social media with ZERO game skills. Lol, they are options. White Knighting Beta Nice Guys. They are options. Jobless, ambitionless, lifeless scrubs….options.

    I don’t expect the average woman to know what’s good for them. And according to what I’ve heard here, I expect the young chicks in 2016 to know even less.

    So yeah, it sucks today. Technology is an unforgiving motherfucker. Women are seemingly gaining the upper hand…and yet….it is an illusion at it’s core. Women dig that shit, illusions and fantasies. It’s what they do.

    Question: Is it even possible to short circuit all of the tech chasing bullshit they engage in?

    I’m still cornering women and interrogating them about their social media habits and the likelihood that they can be convinced to put down their devices. It is still very grim looking. Addiction is never attractive imo. Call me a hard-headed old fart, but I dunno, there’s some shit that is not coming together in my noggin about women and their devices/social media. I’m still trying to figure it out. Something is off.

    I had a conversation with a girl in Walgreens Saturday. Out of all of the girls I spoke to regarding social media, she is the only really fine chick I have approached about on the subject.

    I asked her all of the standard questions about meeting ” The Man ” of her dreams and giving up all social media, and she flatly rejected the notion. She was 21 ( Last month ). Standing about 5’ 9″ ( taller, but I spied heels that were a good 3 inches. She was looking me eye to eye.). As I’ve said, I am not real good at the HB thing, but I would award her an HB8. Maybe even a 8.5. Best of the crop so far. Very friendly at first, then she got serious, and then kinda sad.

    I chatted her up for about 4 or 5 minutes, thanked her for her cooperation, and walked out of the store. She tracked me down in the parking lot by my car and wanted to ask me some questions. Turnabout, meet fair play I guess.

    She asked if I was married, then she wanted to know how long. If I had kids, how many and their ages. What I did for a living and if I was happy with my work.

    Never asked my age.

    She asked what did I look for in ” The Perfect Women “.

    My answer was that there was no such thing as a Perfect Woman, or Perfect Person, or Perfect Anything. There’s only what works for you in your understanding. I spent a few minutes expounding.

    The she asked ” why is life so hard, so boring, so sad. so meaningless?”.

    Shit.

    So I put my bag in my car, and leaned on the side of it for a longer conversation. I started asking her how long has she felt like this, and she caught on to where I was heading and laughed, and assured me that she wasn’t crazy or depressed.

    Yet, she was a little confused about ” happiness “. Particularly happiness with guys. She said guys were extra boring and very random. The complaint was that she is not finding or feeling ” Love ” or ‘ Loved “. I asked her to describe what she would have to feel to feel love, and she could not adequately put it into succinct wording ( surprise!!..lol ).

    Then she asked if she could ask me a few personal questions about my interaction with my wife. I obliged up to a certain point. She wanted to know about physical contact outside of the bedroom, and how much conversation I engaged in with my wife and if I found peace and satisfaction.

    Now fellas, I SWEAR that I was not hitting on her what so ever. I was just talking and the conversation was interesting. I was listening hard because I knew I was gonna relate it back here on TRM, lmao. She told me that when I was asking her the questions about social media in the store, she caught a ” vibe ” from me. She said that the vibe was something that she had been looking for in guys. The eye contact and the touch ( I do not recall ever touching her. I gotta see the store security tape ). Amazingly, she says that she longs for touches from a man engaging her in interesting conversation outside of the bedroom. She wants a level of love and excitement. I could only nod my head because… I know this.

    She said that this was causing her very high levels of frustration with men in general. When guys try to talk with her, she just starts to tune them out a bit until they say something worth listening to.

    So I said ” I like your shoes ” and she replied ” See!! That’s the stuff I’m talking about. Forget my shoes!!! Lmao!!!”.

    So the only answers I had for her, is that society as a whole is a lot less physical nowadays, and she isn’t the only person struggling with the personal space issue. People are walling themselves off from one another.

    So, I brought the conversation BACK to social media. ” Would you give up social media if you could get what you needed from a man ?”. She growled and looked up at the sky.

    ” ALL of my stuff?”. Yup, I answered. ” I’d seriously consider that if I could be happy, but it’s a lot to ask “.

    I’ll take that as another ” no “.

    I stuck out my hand to say goodbye, and she latched onto me like a little kid. She said thanks for talking with me and letting me kill your time.

    I told her I’d hang out and talk some more, but I had to take a wicked piss.

    So the social media conversations are ongoing, but It still looks like YaReally is going to wind up being correct. Buuuutttt…. there’s more to this than just orbiters and dudes on a screen.

    So I will continue talking to chicks, but I’m going to concentrate on the 8’s and 9’s in the age group YaReally is addressing. I wanna see if I hear a pattern of some sort, and whether I hear the same old stories over and over.

  35. Blax

    “I wanna see if I hear a pattern of some sort, and whether I hear the same old stories over and over.”

    Of course you will… because they are mouthing the same old feminist platitudes… until they really meet you that is. try that and report back.

    Remember feminism is really just a meta shit test… and goils will always be goils… because biology.

    You are not one to confuse principles/dynamics with mere tactics are you?

  36. Blax

    “Amazingly, she says that she longs for touches from a man engaging her in interesting conversation outside of the bedroom. She wants a level of love and excitement. I could only nod my head because… I know this.”

    Annnnnnnnddd…. we are back to men leading and women following. The crux is yet not every man can lead, and so her search continues…

    But you know</i< this… you feel it. She feels it… LOL

  37. @ Sentient

    ” Of course you will… because they are mouthing the same old feminist platitudes… until they really meet you that is. try that and report back.”

    Lol. But brah, I have been hearing a lot of ” I can get my own/don’t need no man controlling me ” rhetoric before. I got a deeper convo and she was aware that I wasn’t trying to peel her out of those ridiculously tight, ripped jeans she was wearing.

    Lawdy, lawdy. Lol.

  38. Blax

    based on your convo, it sounds like she would have been willing to rip you out of your Dockers old man…

  39. Great story Blaximus.

    The bottom line is social media is there as a cock-block. A shit test. Deal with it.

    But the bigger story is you Blax. Look how you performed in social interaction with the young chick. You were direct In Real Life and look how that turned out. You intrigued her and got an emotional vibe from her. You used no buffers. None at all. You engaged with no fear. (Of course not, I’ve never seen you exhibit that emotion.)

    This is the same as YaReally’s infield experiences that he describes. Interacting as a Man In Full (reference to Tom Wolf the writer, a guy who actually engaged in real life experiences).

    If I have learned anything it is engage in real life. Don’t use the buffers of social media and keyboard jockeying ( see how the YaReally message is Really?). That’s you the man. Girls are using buffers to not engage. And Blax’s report shows how that is working out for them. They are not satisfied with how it is going.

    Get the fuck out there and engage.(And this field report also illustrates that a guy like Blax is doing infield–at home and at Walgreen’s–a pet peeve notation that old married guys are not infield as recognized by the bar/nightclub crowd as being infield–plenty to report in regard to red pill and game here. Chip on my shoulder? Yes. Because we are on the same team.) But also realize in Blaximus’ field report that he was on Task and Had a Purpose. He was out to find a Truth. That was his purpose.

    Don’t be unaware or confused that young women are confused. It is the nature of their state. Lead or get out of the way.

  40. @Blax “”I’m still cornering women and interrogating them about their social media habits and the likelihood that they can be convinced to put down their devices.””

    Dude….asking them about social media implies a lack of knowledge…You’re already showing your age.

    My point is you have to KNOW this stuff…just “get it”… You have to demonstrate a mastery of the technology.

    That’s why text game is critical. It’s now evolving. You have to be concise and capture in one or two words a way of spiking her curiousity and attraction.

    Don’t ask girls ANYTHING that sounds like you don’t know about it.

    Guys here talk about sexualizing a conversation…how? I’ve now started with success to do it by simply saying “What was your favorite part of 50 Shades of Grey?” That single question demonstrates an ability to transform the interaction. But… you have to be across this stuff. You have to be plugged into popular culture because they are.

    I don’t get this hate on so many older guys have for social media. It reminds me of how my own parents used to regulate my television-watching habits…like that worked….It just made them seem…old.

  41. @ walawala

    Lol. I’m not asking chicks what social media is. I’m not a moron. I know what the various media they use are, I just don’t personally care that much.

    I’m just querying them about it, and maybe getting rid of it, to see what they say.

    It helps to get both views. I’m not feeling the massive orbiter fear thing.

  42. @ Sentient

    Ha ha. I legit wasn’t hitting on her at all. Just talking. I didn’t really detect much sexual interest on her part,, but she was intrigued and seemed to genuinely dig the conversation.

    I’m sure if I’d invited her for coffee she would’ve went. But her flirting on a 1 to 10 scale was a 4. Lol.

  43. @walawala
    “YaReally—-chime in here….I think the point is still not setting in.”

    lol you’re on your own with him. I’ve already wasted enough time going down the SJF rabbit hole for one lifetime.

    But in general you don’t have to use stuff like Facebook, Twitter, Tinder, Instagram etc, but it helps to know what they are and the basics of what they’re for and they’re great for networking and arranging events and shit if you’re running social circle game (which I believe walawala does).

    Like it’s a lot easier to pick up a hot bartender when you understand when her shift probably starts/ends, what kind of guys she hangs with, what sort of relationship she probably has with the other staff and customers because of the dynamics in her industry, what level of discreetness to use VS a girl in another line of work, what sort of time is optimal for a Day2 with her (probably not gonna get her out on a Friday night lol), being able to share/tell stories about idiot drunk customers and stuff that she’ll get because that’s her world.

    A lot of pickup is about relating to people and making them feel like they can relate to you…just like selling things, you’re more likely to make the sale if you and the customer both have a sports interest in common and shoot the shit about the big game last night bonding over it and relating to eachother.

    So when you can tease a girl about being on Tinder and comment on the hordes of orbiters you know she must have on Instagram it shows that even though you’re 10+ years older than her, you still “get” her world.

    ’cause a guy who IS regularly banging girls her age is just GOING to know about some of that stuff. He might not use it himself (I don’t), but like, if you spend a lot of time around hot young chicks, you’re going to know what Snapchat from just being around their culture lol

    So a guy who’s like “what’s a Snapchat?”, it’s not a nuke or anything (I play up the confused old man who thinks their trends are retarded all the time, but I’m charismatic and sparking Attraction so I can do it), but it DOES show that you’re proooobably not a guy who spends much time around hot young girls which subcomms low social value and negative preselection that you’ll have to overcome by making yourself relatable in some other way. Plus less chance of triggering “my DAD always asks what Snapchat is TOO ew gross it’ll be like banging my dad” vibes lol Makes them view you as younger too.

    @SJF
    “Your premise is that if I want to interact with the younger crowd”

    lol no his premise is that if you want to FUCK the younger crowd, and actually put your penis inside their vaginas and thrust away. Not “interact” with them. Walawala is FUCKING young hotties, you are sitting on a couch listening to them talk about school. You don’t have to know anything about social media, that’s fine, it just means that your advice on gaming girls should be taken with a huge grain of salt.

    @Blaximus
    “She can’t actually utilize the bulk of these options”

    I probably can’t spend $5 billion dollars in a day, I could spend let’s say $1000 in a day. But my perspective on money and my purchasing decisions while having $5 billion dollars in my bank account even if I’m only spending $1000 of it will be very different than someone with only $1000 dollars to spend in total.

    “but what I am saying is that most of these options are not real.”

    Girls’ hindbrains don’t understand that.

    “Names on a screen type options.”

    James Franco was a name on a screen and contacted a random nobody girl. Stories like that tell girls “I may have a path to getting high-value men through these names on a screen option”. That’s all their hindbrain cares about.

    “The other thing is that there are a million dudes on social media with ZERO game skills.”

    They don’t know that until they interact with them and those guys fail shit-tests and fuck the vibe up. YOU know it, *I* know it, but their hindbrain doesn’t know it until it takes enough bad beats.

    “White Knighting Beta Nice Guys. They are options. Jobless, ambitionless, lifeless scrubs….options.”

    All of those guys look like high-value options to her hindbrain when they put up a pic of them in front of an expensive car and flexing their 6-pack and talking about how much ambition they have for life. She has to interact with them to find out that that car was their parents’, the 6-pack was photoshopped, and that they have no job and just spend their day laying on a couch watching TV instead of being ambitious.

    They don’t put up profiles saying “hi, I have no job or ambition or life, I’m a scrub, date me!” Each of those highlight reel false advertising profiles is a chance to escape a boring life living on a budget in a little dumpy house with an old beat up car stressing over bills with Joe the plumber they married who she’s been fighting with lately as her newly divorced BFF tells her about all the exciting guys she’s meeting on Tinder (because she’s LYING to her to make herself sound attractive still lol)

    “Question: Is it even possible to short circuit all of the tech chasing bullshit they engage in?”

    Can I convince you to never look at or go near your rose bushes (or hedges or whatever lol) again? Maybe, but I would need a pretty compelling argument when all you see to them is upside and you’ve been engaging with them your whole life.

    Could I convince you to never work out again? Or can I convince you to never eat another vegetable or steak ever again? All you can eat now is oatmeal for the rest of your life. I don’t have any real reason for it except that I don’t want you to do it even though all your friends eat that stuff and have you over for dinner and ask you why you don’t eat that stuff etc

    That’s the thing of it. WE know social media is ultimately bad for people and bad for them and bad for the LTRs they’ll want to try to make work. But all THEY see is the upside of this stuff, because it IS upside for them, it optimizes their hindbrain’s ability to find the best survival/replication candidate.

    How much value would I have to have to you for you to give up working out and eating meat and going near your rose bushes to have me in your life?

    “I’m still cornering women and interrogating them about their social media habits and the likelihood that they can be convinced to put down their devices. It is still very grim looking.”

    No surprise lol Like I say, the field reveals all.

    “Addiction is never attractive imo.”

    It’s not. But imagine you’re in a world where everyone has blonde hair. But you like black hair. 99.99999% of women all have blonde hair…there might be a couple women here and there in some backwoods town that you’ll never visit with black hair, but all you see around you is blonde hair.

    As a guy who’s already married with kids and settled down and out of the game, you see that situation and go “well just don’t get into a relationship with any of those blondes then, blonde hair just isn’t attractive imo”

    But the single guys around her who are looking to get to where you are, with a successful LTR and kids, can’t ALL get the 0.00001% of women that have black hair. They HAVE to deal with the blonde hair. By advising they just don’t settle with a blonde, you’re saying “don’t EVER settle with ANYONE, don’t ever reproduce”. That’s not an acceptable answer lol

    How many girls have you run into in your quizzing who don’t use ANY social media at all? ANY?

    “The she asked ” why is life so hard, so boring, so sad. so meaningless?”. Shit.”

    Welcome to 2016. lol This is what we’re working with on a grand scale.

    “She said guys were extra boring and very random”

    “Extra boring” means she’s surrounded by chodes and AFCs and guys with shitty game that supplicate to her and bore her (aka not PUAs that give her the full range of emotions). “very random” means the alpha guys she DOES like just pump n dump her and don’t call her back or bang other girls and don’t want to commit etc. Because she’s not dating/fucking the 80%, she’s dating/fucking the 20% (now the 10%) and those guys have access to the 90% so why would they settle for one girl, especially when she’s miserable inside and looking for someone to fill the hole in her soul for her?

    “The complaint was that she is not finding or feeling ” Love ” or ‘ Loved “. I asked her to describe what she would have to feel to feel love, and she could not adequately put it into succinct wording ( surprise!!..lol ).”

    lol All she knows about love is what she’s seen in movies or been socially conditioned to think about how important it is. Like I say, laser eye-contact is extra killer now because a girl like her may LITERALLY have never had a guy hold deep sexual eye-contact with her in her LIFE. She’s seen it in Twilight and shit and it looks amazing but she’s never met a guy who can actually DO it because she’s surrounded by chodes. And when she’s in public everyone is on their phones not interacting. In the old days people had to engage the people around them or at least be looking around and guys weren’t as socially crippled as a whole and she probably experienced lasers a few times. But now she could make it to adulthood without ever experiencing it.

    “She wanted to know about physical contact outside of the bedroom,”

    This is an interesting one that I’m noticing keeps coming up. The last few girls I’ve been with have been shocked at how I’m all about the PDAs. The guys they dated before me would rarely touch them in public or lead them or anything and they wanted it bad but the guys were uncomfortable.

    ’cause we have a society of guys uncomfortable with their sexual urges and nature, scared to be “too controlling” and leading and guiding her by the small of the back and scared to be “too possessive” throwing their arm around her and scared to treat her like an ojbect/possession they “own” etc etc Just shitty social conditioning.

    “and how much conversation I engaged in with my wife and if I found peace and satisfaction.”

    lol ’cause the chodes will listen to her hoping to fuck her but they’re the “extra boring” ones she was talking about so who cares, and the alphas she actually WANTS don’t give a shit what she says, which is why she wants them, but again they don’t commit to her or take her seriously etc

    “Now fellas, I SWEAR that I was not hitting on her what so ever.”

    Hashtag humblebrag lol But seriously, you’re giving her the full range of emotions hitting her to her core, you’re making good eye-contact (I assume), you have charisma, you have preselection having a wife, you’re teaching her about the world like her daddy never did because her single mom kicked him out, you’re building deep comfort/rapport with her, you’re engaging her with 100% zero outcome dependence completely giving value instead of looking to take value or take anything from her…

    I mean, what do you EXPECT to happen lol

    “She said that the vibe was something that she had been looking for in guys.”

    I can guarantee it’ll involve eye-contact.

    “The eye contact”

    Yup lol

    “and the touch ( I do not recall ever touching her. I gotta see the store security tape )”

    You probably didn’t and she just fantasized it, or it was just such a casual thing you didn’t think anything of it. But to her it would have been something that NO OTHER GUY IN HER LIFE would have the balls to do probably.

    “Amazingly, she says that she longs for touches from a man engaging her in interesting conversation outside of the bedroom.”

    TOO BAD SHE’S PROBABLY BORING AS FUCK TO TALK TO lol That’s always the funny part to me. Girls want deep conversation but then they know like surface level shit at best and get lost when you go over their heads. Like okay you’re having fun but I’m just talking to a child here lol

    “She said that this was causing her very high levels of frustration with men in general. When guys try to talk with her, she just starts to tune them out a bit until they say something worth listening to.”

    Because guys don’t understand how to spark Attraction. They try to go right for rapport/comfort without getting A2. That’s why Julien with his crazy offensive shit and Jeffy’s Bill Cosby roofie your drink opener force her to pay attention, because they’re making an emotional impact on her.

    “So I said ” I like your shoes ” and she replied ” See!! That’s the stuff I’m talking about. Forget my shoes!!! Lmao!!!”.”

    lol this goes back to the social media thing walawala was saying…this shows that you understand her world and makes you relatable to her. Like she instantly knows you’re a guy who “gets it” and gets her world so you become more of a prospect to her.

    “” ALL of my stuff?”. Yup, I answered. ” I’d seriously consider that if I could be happy, but it’s a lot to ask “. I’ll take that as another ” no “.”

    lol This girl just went out of her way to ask you about love and if you could offer the chance to have it to her she’d still need a 100% guarantee that she’ll be happy 24/7 for the rest of her life to consider your “a lot to ask” deal fair.

    Wanna slip a ring and your finances and custody of your kids on her finger and try walking THAT tightrope for the next 40 years? lol

    “So the social media conversations are ongoing, but It still looks like YaReally is going to wind up being correct.”

    Now how could I know this stuff……….lol Like I say, all this shit is out there for anyone to go see for themselves.

    “Buuuutttt…. there’s more to this than just orbiters and dudes on a screen.”

    Oh god, ya, there’s like a million little factors involved in what’s going on. I’m just bringing up the most obvious blatant part of the shift…I mean look at the uphill battle I’ve had in just getting THIS reality to be accepted around here lol no reason to go into deeper more subtle issues going on.

    “So I will continue talking to chicks, but I’m going to concentrate on the 8’s and 9’s in the age group YaReally is addressing. I wanna see if I hear a pattern of some sort, and whether I hear the same old stories over and over.”

    I’m glad you’re out there testing this stuff instead of just keyboard jockey theorizing. But I weep for how your soul is going to weep for society by the end of this experiment lol You were such a bright-eyed bushy tailed Natural a year ago. 🙂

    “Lol. But brah, I have been hearing a lot of ” I can get my own/don’t need no man controlling me ” rhetoric before. I got a deeper convo and she was aware that I wasn’t trying to peel her out of those ridiculously tight, ripped jeans she was wearing.”

    lol good luck convincing Sentient that you’re not a social retard imagining things that aren’t there according to his theories.

    @Sentient
    “Have you ever taken a girls phone and put it in your pocket? Do you know you can do this?”

    Have you ever kept a 2016 <25yo 8+/10s phone in your pocket for 40 years?

    @SJF
    "a pet peeve notation that old married guys are not infield as recognized by the bar/nightclub crowd as being infield"

    Some of them are. Those guys come to the same conclusions we do. Some of them are not. Those guys argue what happens infield because they aren't infield. Just because Elon built the Tesla doesn't mean that I pretty much built it too.

    Also interacting with girls with no intent to fuck them or keep them around long-term VS intent to fuck them or keep them around long-term can alter the interaction dynamics and that needs to be accounted for.

    @walawala
    "Dude….asking them about social media implies a lack of knowledge…You’re already showing your age."

    lol he's not trying to fuck them don't worry. You might've missed his original posts about his experiment but he's not trying to seduce them, he's trying to do some research into what I've been saying about how social media has been a normalized part of a girl's world. Like he WANTS them to teach him about it.

    "My point is you have to KNOW this stuff…just “get it”… You have to demonstrate a mastery of the technology."

    Well, you technically don't as Blax has just shown. It's just that it helps. Blax found another way to make himself relatable to the girl and demonstrated enough value through his confidence, eye-contact, voice tonality, no outcome dependence, etc He wasn't approaching her as the dad jeans guy.

    "But… you have to be across this stuff. You have to be plugged into popular culture because they are."

    Right, the 50 Shades of Grey thing is a good example. You can sexualize in OTHER ways, obviously. But it's a really easy "in" to being relatable to her and her world if you can drop a reference to something like that, the same way it's easier to get a how bartender if you pitch your Day2 for a Tuesday late at night because you know she probably won't work that night and she's going to be on a night schedule, not going for coffee at noon with you.

    It's not mandatory, but it can help.

    "I don’t get this hate on so many older guys have for social media."

    I get the hate because I hate it too lol But I also love it for the good parts of it, like being able to stay connected with my friends and shit easier.

    My point in bringing it up at all is just that guys learning game today need to understand how and why these things change society. I'm not talking about like, the effect Tesla cars have on girls or the effect being able to order products online instead of going to a store to buy them has on girls, because those things don't really cause any significant changes. But giving a girl Instagram and Tinder from age 16, that CHANGES some shit. Guys need to be aware of those changes so they can adapt their game (like at the end of the last comment section (Losing My Religion) where I get into how I've had to adapt/change my text game the last couple years).

    "@Rollo @Sentient, I’ve seen it. Alpha is a state of mind Corey appears to have lost."

    Like most Naturals, Corey still had the Blue Pill socially conditioned ending as his goal. All the old guys here are psyched for him though and expect it to work out, right? The kid was the most Alpha kid in the universe at one point, so he should have no problem!

    @Blaximus
    "I’m not feeling the massive orbiter fear thing."

    You're not trying to fuck them and keep them around for 40 years. 🙂 You listened to that girl's sob story and it tugged on your heart strings and for a second or two she may have even convinced you that if you could really truly give her the things she said she wanted, she'd give up her social media forever for a chance at happiness.

    But the reality is once the NRE wears off she'll dust off her accounts. There's a reason those social media sites don't actually DELETE your data, they just deactivate it so you can reactivate it later. They know how human psychology works.

    "I’m sure if I’d invited her for coffee she would’ve went. But her flirting on a 1 to 10 scale was a 4. Lol."

    Remember that thing about other problems/changes in society going on? The more and more commonplace situation of young girls being socially awkward and not knowing how to flirt or interact with men well anymore is one of em lol Some of the things I've seen girls do that they think are "sexy" or will attract men that make me shake my head…where do I even START the list lol

  44. Today I learned for the first time what a ‘hashtag’ is, if that’s any indication of where I am technology-wise.

    Put that to use and it was a big “Aha” moment. All of a sudden my page blows up and I’m getting all kinds of likes and comments. Pretty fucking cool.

    @ YaReally

    I recently watched the LOL episode of Californication. Where Hank doesn’t know shit about lingo like “LOL” and he busts this girl’s ass for saying it. Just completely rips her a new one. Of course they end up banging later after he recalibrates from being an over-the-top asshole without provocation or play from her.

    On that level, whatever you’re familiar or not familiar with, you have to own it. That is the most important part.

    I will say that as far as text/online game goes, being up to speed on memes and other funny shit like that can give you a tremendous amount of material to work with.

    In my experience you can absolutely use memes/pictures/etc. to sexually escalate. It’s also something worth paying a lot of attention to if a girl is regularly sending you shit like that, which can be a major IOI.

    The real shit always goes down in-person, naturally. But at least a couple times I’ve used some racy and funny memes to prime the pump. It can plant a seed to get them thinking of you in a sexual way. It’s fun, too.

    And of course calibration comes into play with that style of communication just like anything else. I’ve actually found it really interesting.

    Usually “lmao” is a pretty good sign they’re on the same page with you, especially when they stay on topic with the joke you made or picture you shared, and it’s safe to escalate some more.

    But if you text a joke that goes too far, or send some meme that’s kinda too weird or sexually overt in a creepy way, you can pretty much count on an “lol” with a possible subject change, an outright subject change, or no response for a long time followed by a subject change, etc.

    At some point you’re just shooting yourself in the foot, since nothing real can happen online. Possible downsides are ASD, where you escalate TOO much and too directly before meeting up in-person…

    …and also not being congruent with your online self when you actually do meet up.

    That girl I met up with was texting me shit like if she didn’t have a flip phone she’d be sending me pictures of her pussy. A number of weeks went by after that before we actually met up, and when we finally did meet up in person, nothing happened.

    And since then the texting has died down a LOT. I’m not pushing for anything. She seemed a lot more interested in me before we actually met up, compared to after.

    In my mind I’m just seeing this as a broken plate. A lot can happen in a few weeks, including lots of other guys, especially for a girl in her early 20’s…..

    …so in that sense, things might be a lot less forgiving these days compared to the past. This is actually a girl I met IN-PERSON first, and Gamed her to the absolute best of my ability about as soon as I saw her, we got in touch online and then exchanged phone numbers, then spent a while texting back and forth before finally hanging out again in-person.

    I can vaguely relate to the social media boom, by the way. Like even today, I was like, holy shit. What a Dopamine rush. All those likes and comments on my shit online.

    And of course some of those were from some hot girls that are completely unavailable, like girls that live in other countries. But it does trigger a response in your brain nonetheless.

    Like in my head I think, “Oh, wow. Well I guess I could get with a girl like that if I wanted to, if the circumstances were different. I’m never going to actually meet her or anything, but I bet if I did, we’d be banging like wild animals right now.”

    That can give you a lot more confidence than you’d think.

    Women are just experiencing this on an exponentially greater level because of Betas. Literally thousands of guys vying for their attention. None of whom they WANT to pay attention to, or care about, but they’re cannon fodder for their egos and self-esteem nonetheless.

    I did my absolute best with this girl. And ALL I’m looking for is a hookup, or potential occasional fuckbuddy, very casual with no strings attached.

    Even achieving THAT can be hard today, considering the competition from guys on Tinder and Facebook and Instagram and whatever else is out there.

    Keeping in mind, too, that women have MUCH lower sex drives, biologically speaking, than men do. They are MUCH more comfortable going without sex, and can get a LOT more sustenance out of simple ego stroking.

    The vast majority of these women these days, no matter how they look, essentially have Harems full of Beta Orbiters.

    Imagine a female version of Solomon who didn’t fuck any of his concubines.

    I know, that’s a tough one. But that’s the situation most run of the mill women are in today. They’ve basically been elevated to the status of royalty, and you can bet that them having a virtually unlimited amount of options — real or imagined — is going to affect them and their interactions with men in their day to day lives.

    How much did I fuck up with this girl, and how much is just what I’m competing with?

    Naturally, it’s a mixture of both. No sense in making excuses, as we have to rise to the challenge.

    At the very least, knowing what we’re up against can make it easier to let things go. A year ago I’d be really self conscious and think I’m not good enough to pull women.

    Now I have the attitude more of…..well, the odds are stacked against me, and at the end of the day I was just lazy and didn’t give enough of a fuck to try harder.

    I don’t feel desperate anymore. Yeah, it’d be NICE to fuck some young, hot pussy, but I don’t feel like it’s driving me insane. Which is how I used to feel.

    “The juice ain’t worth the squeeze,” and all that. Anyway, it’s interesting to note the differences in this new generation of women compared to the last.

    However….AWALT, at the end of the day.

  45. @Blax/YaReally “I’m sure if I’d invited her for coffee she would’ve went. But her flirting on a 1 to 10 scale was a 4. Lol.”

    Here’s the thing. One of the three girls I’m banging now recently told me, that on the night she met me and I gamed her, then bounced her for drinks…she was thinking she really wanted to meet a guy and go for drinks.

    But no one had ever asked her. I recently met a hot girl at a party who I gamed and was giving major IOI’s. I “could have” asked her for drinks.

    But honestly speaking, I was tired and she was leaving the next day. I made a few mental excuses. Just getting the IOI’s was enough in that case.

    I don’t proceed now if I’m not 100% ready to bang them that night. Any hesitation and they feel it right away.

  46. @ walawala

    “I don’t proceed now if I’m not 100% ready to bang them that night. Any hesitation and they feel it right away.”

    This is what I’m trying to get through my head.

    For me, sexual hesitation comes from not being comfortable with the idea of going with the flow and feeling autonomous and in control.

    Like, maybe I’ll want to get up and leave immediately. Maybe I’ll want to sleep there. Maybe I’ll just want to hang out and not fuck her. etc. ANY of that is okay.

    I’ve had the thought, “Fuck, I’m gonna have to sleep here,” and that’s fucked it up for me before. I failed to realize I never had any obligation to do anything I didn’t want to do.

    I’ve actually cockblocked myself a LOT not because I didn’t want to bang a girl, but because I felt like I had zero control over what would happen AFTER I banged her, and that would lead me to think that I just wasn’t into it.

    When in reality I was VERY into it, and would want to fuck her really badly, but let the anxiety about what would happen after ruin it for me. That’s definitely something to watch out for. Maybe not for you, but for guys like me prone to anxiety and thinking way ahead about shit like this, and sabotaging ourselves over it.

  47. Evolving Hyperagamy was my favourite.

    Where has TRM helped the most? Getting me to realise that you have to kill the beta and that women aren’t sugar and spice and all things nice. Mental point of origin is another one.

    H/T to YaReally, Scribblerg, Softek and Nova for their insight and balls to the wall honesty.

  48. @yareally
    “TOO BAD SHE’S PROBABLY BORING AS FUCK TO TALK TO lol That’s always the funny part to me. Girls want deep conversation but then they know like surface level shit at best and get lost when you go over their heads. Like okay you’re having fun but I’m just talking to a child here lol”

    Yeah this – even the 40+ crowd are semi-retards. I keep getting compliments from them on my conversational skills and interesting subjects I chat them up with (Most Interesting Man In The World vibe) and they lap it up. They can’t really reply in kind or continue the conversation in depth but that’s not what I want… it always bounces off the tracks and goes sexual now cause that’s what I want and they enjoy that.

    @softek
    “That girl I met up with was texting me shit like if she didn’t have a flip phone she’d be sending me pictures of her pussy. A number of weeks went by after that before we actually met up, and when we finally did meet up in person, nothing happened.
    Women are just experiencing this on an exponentially greater level because of Betas. Literally thousands of guys vying for their attention. None of whom they WANT to pay attention to, or care about, but they’re cannon fodder for their egos and self-esteem nonetheless. ”

    This is what I’m learning – sexualize the texting enough to show you’ve got balls (Just Getting It) and watch for the ASD trigger. Then in Real Life, eye contact, alternate funny/serious, and mostInterestingMan stuff. I get so many comments about eye contact and I’m pretty ugly seriously. Supposedly my eyes sparkle when I’m funny and laugh and they dig that, but I’m pretty sure it’s all feelz and attraction generated on their side. They tell me most men (AFCs) they meet from these dating sites don’t make eye contact and can’t converse…

  49. @Anonymous Reader

    “Plus for the churchgoing men who read and lurk here, this site has complimentarity with Dalrock’s site. Never mind the driveby churchian Ayahtollah wannabes. Take what works that is congruent with your beliefs and leave the rest.”

    I Agree. What you get from Rollo’s essays, and many of his commenters is knowledge. By itself it is benign.

    Merriam-Webster: Simple Definition of knowledge
    : information, understanding, or skill that you get from experience or education
    : awareness of something : the state of being aware of something

    You can use it for good, or bad, or do nothing at all with it.

    The hard thing to do is UN-KNOW it. So be ready for that.

  50. Blax / YaReally

    This is an interesting one that I’m noticing keeps coming up. The last few girls I’ve been with have been shocked at how I’m all about the PDAs. The guys they dated before me would rarely touch them in public or lead them or anything and they wanted it bad but the guys were uncomfortable.

    ’cause we have a society of guys uncomfortable with their sexual urges and nature, scared to be “too controlling” and leading and guiding her by the small of the back and scared to be “too possessive” throwing their arm around her and scared to treat her like an ojbect/possession they “own” etc etc Just shitty social conditioning.

    In other words… demonstrations of Alpha behavior…. You can add “guys scared to say No” to the list…

    This is the core issue, not that the Nature Of Women(c.2016) is anything new…

    But the reality is once the NRE wears off

    You’ve mention this half a dozen time snow, we are in agreement that a woman will give up her SM for the right guy, the only dispute is how long…

    You’ve come up with an arbitrary 40 year test… I’ve suggested as long as the guy has hand, which is backed by all of game/attraction research….

    Have hand, never lose it…

    Blax I will congratulate you on performing perhaps the only self reported survey that YaReally agrees 100% with though… and not Harvard based…

    But here is another experiment, what if you phrased the question differently, NOT to trigger reflexive responses about “too controlling” guys (putting aside for the moment that is exactly what they are looking for…) but perhaps something , IDK, a little more in tune with feminine spirit…

    “What if you met a vampire Lord? and he wanted to posses YOU, and only you, mind and body, for all eternity..?. you would remain the same age, beautiful forever and travel with him around the world, through the ages… the only kicker is you would have to give up your phone… would you do it?”

    LOL No girl would ever want to run away with a vampire…

    Corey All the old guys here are psyched for him though and expect it to work out, right? The kid was the most Alpha kid in the universe at one point, so he should have no problem!

    Have hand, never lose it relationship Maxim 1… what guys need to realize is Alpha is not like a college diploma, something you earn and hang on the wall for ever and nothing changes… Alpha is not a ticket you can punch once and done style… Alpha is more like a pilot’s license… yeah the license is good forever, but in order to actually fly and use it you need to pass a bienniel flight review, and have an active log book… You need to demonstrate you maintain the skillz you’ve learned, by having those skillz.

    Guys always think they can “relax” and veg out… foolish thinking… the only thing more foolish than thinking you can do so in a LTR is thinking you can do so outside of a LTR. The work will always need to be done.

    Now there is one cheat… instead of practicing an Alpha veneer, a mask, and expending all the effort of trying to keep same from slipping… embrace the pursuit of a dynamic, passionate and authentic life and the Platinum Rule. The irreducible Alpha Triad and an eternal MPO in one package. Supra Game level unlocked…

  51. @all
    Thanks for all the shoutouts btw Just happy to have helped other guys the way PUAs selflessly helped me (directly or indirectly) back in the day. Just payin that shit forward.

    @Softek
    “All of a sudden my page blows up and I’m getting all kinds of likes and comments. Pretty fucking cool.”

    Now imagine literally ANYTHING you post, no matter how stupid or meaningless, gets a barrage of positive validation like that, from hot girls too. You take a pic of your toothpaste tube saying “time to go shopping!” and get 50 Likes and a dozen girls (with profile pics that make them look like 10s) saying “OMG YOU’RE SO FUNNY LOLOL” and guys saying “BRO UR HILARIOUS! WE GOTTA GRAB BEERS SOMETIME MAN!” just making you think you’re the specialist special that ever specialed and you’re like “I wasn’t even trying to be funny!! I don’t even know what they think is funny in that, wow I must be a comic genius!!”

    Pre-social-media no one would have given a shit, your mom would say “ok I’ll pick some up on my way home from work, anything else you need?” But now you’ve had the validation above multiple times a day since you were 16. What would your internal beliefs about yourself and scarcity/abundance mindsets look like?

    “I recently watched the LOL episode of Californication. Where Hank doesn’t know shit about lingo like “LOL” and he busts this girl’s ass for saying it. Just completely rips her a new one. Of course they end up banging later after he recalibrates from being an over-the-top asshole without provocation or play from her.”

    lolol I love that episode.

    @walawala give Californication a watch if you haven’t yet, it’s a good example of being an older dude who knows the bare minimum about current trends and just makes fun of them instead of embracing them, and the general frame that helps pull that off (“you’re just an analog guy in a digital world, aren’t you”). Hank is a great “cool older man” character to model as you age.

    These are cool older men, both of these actors are almost 50 in real life so keep that in mind when you watch the show:

    Compare that to a lot of guys their age and it’s not even about the looks but about the ENERGY. These guys walk talk move and act like they’re still young mentally. Like two mid-20yo’s could have that same conversation and it would seem normal. They’re still “old” and “out of touch” in that they make fun of younger chicks and their silly shit, but their characters at least understand their world which makes them relatable.

    “The real shit always goes down in-person, naturally. But at least a couple times I’ve used some racy and funny memes to prime the pump. It can plant a seed to get them thinking of you in a sexual way. It’s fun, too.”

    Ya, I’ll send relationship/sex related ones, like a chick sent me this:

    So I sent it to other girls. It’s funny and relatable (and shows that I “get it” VS a guy who’s never had a relationship or been around women and wouldn’t understand some of this humor, so it subtly shows some preselection and understanding HER side of relationships) and subcomms that I’m just looking for a casual thing because I wouldn’t link something making fun of LTRs if I wanted one, etc etc All without having to text a word.

    I do a lot of “this is you” texts too, where I’ll throw a funny/sexual/crazy-girl meme at them that relates to an in-joke we have about something she does to spike her temp.

    It’s just another way of communicating. It’s not NECESSARY/MANDATORY, but it can help set a frame or encourage/discourage certain behaviors or tease etc

    “At some point you’re just shooting yourself in the foot, since nothing real can happen online.”

    This. And remember other guys are trying this same shit too. When you text her, her phone has 10 other texts to look at and/or respond to. Meet in person, don’t give the milk away for free, you don’t get anything out of that text chat but she does.

    “Like in my head I think, “Oh, wow. Well I guess I could get with a girl like that if I wanted to, if the circumstances were different. I’m never going to actually meet her or anything, but I bet if I did, we’d be banging like wild animals right now.””

    See that’s how GUYS think. But what I’m trying to get across to Blaximus and crew is that GIRLS don’t think logically like that. You think that because you KNOW a girl isn’t going to fly you to where she is and make you the center of her world because that’s never fucking happened in your life to any guy you know lol But a GIRL gets that same validation barrage you got, but HER hindbrain thinks “Oh, wow. I guess I could get a guy like that! He’s only in Italy and he looks rich omg he would fly me to Italy to meet him and take me to some fancy dinner and we’d look up at the stars and omg could I LIVE in Italy?? I’ve always wanted to omg I could go to all the little shops and stuff!! Omg I could take so many pics for my instagram! My boring hubby is struggling to pay the bills and this guy is offering me a free flight to Italy to meet him, and he says we don’t even have to DO anything so that’s not cheating right??” etc etc

    Because that’s the world of a hot girl in our globally-connected tech age. She KNOWS friends with Sugar Daddys and who’ve been on flights paid for by guys or had guys fly to see them or they have a long distance relationship across the world with some handsome dude in Italy even though they have an “at home boyfriend” here etc and guys are thirsty enough to offer all that shit and tell them whatever they want to hear and spend money to make meeting up happen.

    We can’t relate to that because we’re used to having to chase, but girls are used to being chased, so they don’t view those guys validating them as impossible faraway people they’ll never meet up with…they view them as potential options.

    @DisgruntledEarthling
    “Then in Real Life, eye contact, alternate funny/serious, and mostInterestingMan stuff. I get so many comments about eye contact and I’m pretty ugly seriously. Supposedly my eyes sparkle when I’m funny and laugh and they dig that, but I’m pretty sure it’s all feelz and attraction generated on their side. They tell me most men (AFCs) they meet from these dating sites don’t make eye contact and can’t converse…”

    Yup. Been told the same. ’cause guys are becoming more socially retarded and aren’t being taught to look people in the eye (that’s eye-raping objectifying with women and that’s agressive/threatening with men, instead of being taught “look that’s just being CONFIDENT, it’s a GOOD THING, don’t stare down the crackhead hobo but look your boss in the eye when you talk to him about the project you’re working on”). It’s just look down at your phone screen to text.

    The funny thing with laser eye-contact is that when you do it properly (bedroom eye-contact, hold it, cut space, etc) it makes you fully understand why looks don’t matter. Because your eyes take over her RAS, everything else fades to black for her when you lock eyes in that way. She’s not looking at your lack of 6-pack or your facial features or your bald spot or how expensive your shoes are or whether you have a nice watch or whether your belt matches your shoes, she’s just locked onto your eyes and whatever you’re expressing through them.

    If you’re going to play passive game where you stand around like James Bond and wait for her to approach you, then she’ll look at all that stuff. But if you’re being PRO-ACTIVE like you SHOULD be, and getting up in her space giving her emotional impact and lasering, none of that other shit matters to her. All she sees is the “twinkle in your eye”.

    But you have to DO it and experience it to really GET what I’m describing when you take over her RAS.

    @Sentient
    “In other words… demonstrations of Alpha behavior…. You can add “guys scared to say No” to the list…”

    Yup.

    “This is the core issue, not that the Nature Of Women(c.2016) is anything new…”

    No one has ever said the Nature of Women has changed. That’s your misunderstanding of what I’ve been saying.

    “You’ve come up with an arbitrary 40 year test…”

    40 years is a fine test. If you’re telling guys to do monoLTRs and/or legally marry and/or have kids, then that relationship has to last from whenever it starts to the end of their lives. I use 40 to emphasize that we’re not talking about a little 3 year relationship here. We’re talking about keeping them LOOOOONG past the NRE stage where there have been plenty of ups and downs and weak moments and boredom etc, because that’s what guys are looking to do to have kids.

    “I’ve suggested as long as the guy has hand, which is backed by all of game/attraction research….”

    Sure. But how is this not “be alpha 24/7 forever bro” to you?

    “Have hand, never lose it… ”

    How is this not “be alpha 24/7 forever bro” to you?

    “Have hand, never lose it relationship Maxim 1…”

    How is this not “be alpha 24/7 forever bro” to you?

    “yeah the license is good forever, but in order to actually fly and use it you need to pass a bienniel flight review, and have an active log book… You need to demonstrate you maintain the skillz you’ve learned, by having those skillz.”

    How is this not “be alpha 24/7 forever bro” to you?

    “Guys always think they can “relax” and veg out… foolish thinking… the only thing more foolish than thinking you can do so in a LTR is thinking you can do so outside of a LTR. The work will always need to be done.”

    How is this not “be alpha 24/7 forever bro” to you?

    I don’t get why you can’t just admit that your advice is “be alpha 24/7 forever bro” lol When that’s very clearly what your advice is. And it’s fine advice, I agree, if you can be alpha 24/7 forever bro, you’ve got a good shot at staying at the top of her Hypergamy and making out alright.

    But for the other 99.9999% of men out there who aren’t super alpha badasses like you, it’s probably good for them to have a more realistic understanding of “you know what, there will probably be rough patches in my life where I’m NOT alpha 24/7, I might get sick, I might lose my job, my parents might die in a plane crash, I might just get tired and need a break to relax or might not achieve my dream job, hell SHE might change and get fat or bitchy and become someone I don’t like being around and that might affect how alpha I am, our kids might be born with disabilities and shit that stress me out working an extra job to pay for it, there MIGHT be points somewhere in the next 40+ years where I’m NOT “alpha 24/7 forever bro”

    …and since the way to keep her attracted is to have hand and the way to have hand is to “be alpha 24/7 forever bro”, and I don’t know for sure that I’m capable of that because I’m not Sentient the super badass, and as YaReally has informed me there will be hundreds of other guys putting on the front that they ARE alpha 24/7 bro on their social media etc gunning for her till she’s 35 maybe even longer, MAAAAAAAYBE it’s not the smartest idea to legally tie myself to a contract that says “be alpha 24/7 forever bro or she gets your money, kids and the house””

    Common sense.

    The way to not fall in the spike pit is to just stay balanced on the wooden stilts…but I don’t think I’m going to sign a legal contract that says I’ll stay balanced up there for 40+ years while a dozen termites are crawling on the stilts or else I’ll lose everything. But hey, maybe I’m just CRAZY not wanting to take risks like that and wanting to look for alternative paths, like being on a metal platform instead of wooden stilts.

    “Now there is one cheat… instead of practicing an Alpha veneer, a mask, and expending all the effort of trying to keep same from slipping…”

    Fake it till you make it doesn’t work!! It’s all a facade!! The girl will see the real you one day under all the lieeeeessss!! Anything else from Jezebel you’d like to quote? lol

    “embrace the pursuit of a dynamic, passionate and authentic life and the Platinum Rule. The irreducible Alpha Triad and an eternal MPO in one package. Supra Game level unlocked…”

    The step by step of how to do your always vague “be dynamic, passionate and authentic” is just the same steps PUA lays out for how to do that lol I don’t get why you’re trying to relabel and coin your own Sentient Catch-Phrase (TM) term for stuff that’s already got names and labels like it’s some new technique. Same shit as Simple Pickup selling “being in state” as “god mode” and Krauser selling “AF/BB” as “r/K selection”.

    It’s just silly and muddies the knowledge-base for newbies who are like “Mystery told me to be expressive and emote, which SOUNDS like being passionate and dynamic, but Sentient’s making it sound like Mystery’s way is just some Alpha veneer mask so I should just be passionate and dynamic like he says but how are those different from emoting and being expressive, he never really describes any step by step just this vague reference to his magic technique that’s somehow not the same as what I’d learn in PUA so WAT DO????” lol

  52. Society made a decision 50 years ago to gear all incentives for both sexes in intersexual relationships toward short term reward only. It succeeded and the modern millennial chicks are the result. If your sexual strategy does not act with an eye toward that fact, you’re courting disaster.

    Marriage runs directly counter to this strategy for men, which is why I’m puzzled by the belief that young guys should or even can have a marriage these days. Is it just ego investment on the part of already married guys? I mean, if we’re about helping guys set an internal MPO but then we advise them in to a strategically stupid decision given current circumstances, are we really helping?

  53. “Is it just ego investment on the part of already married guys?”

    Yes. It’s interesting that Rollo is not ego invested but he has had 5+ years (congrads!)

    “if we’re about helping guys set an internal MPO but then we advise them in to a strategically stupid decision given current circumstances, are we really helping?”

    No

  54. Yareally

    it’s probably good for them to have a more realistic understanding of “you know what, there will probably be rough patches in my life where I’m NOT alpha 24/7, I might get sick, I might lose my job, my parents might die in a plane crash, I might just get tired and need a break to relax or might not achieve my dream job, hell SHE might change and get fat or bitchy and become someone I don’t like being around and that might affect how alpha I am, our kids might be born with disabilities and shit that stress me out working an extra job to pay for it, there MIGHT be points somewhere in the next 40+ years where I’m NOT “alpha 24/7 forever bro”
    …and since the way to keep her attracted is to have hand and the way to have hand is to “be alpha 24/7 forever bro”

    Which is precisely why I’ve never said “be Alpha 24/7 bro” and instead have said pursue the Platinum Rule and move beyond game qua game into a dynamic, passionate and authentic life…

    Be Alpha is not actionable, like Be Attractive is not actionable or Just Get It is not actionable… what are the irreducible elements? Now you have them.

    Once again… https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2015/03/10/how-the-urban-man-can-be-more-masculine/#comment-654280

    Dynamic – a bias for action, initiation, invention. These are male life giving and sustaining traits. A man siting on his ass ain’t bringing in mastadon meat or discovering how to make fire or exploring and conquering new territories or defending existing ones. Male dynamism is the corollary to female reproduction and nurturing.

    Passion – a hunger for increasing knowledge and skill. Passion is the fuel for dynamic endeavor, informing and amplifying. Passion brings life to the male trait of mission, which drives the larger society forward in the same way a female’s biological mission is to bare children – but on a broader basis. Passion reveals the mysteries of the cosmos underpinning navigation and exploration, the relationship of musical notes creating Bach’s fugues and the development of medicine.

    Authentic – male truth, the counter to female truth which is emotion. Being who you are by living as you say. This is independent of any moral judgments. Authenticity is the bedrock of leadership. So when you declare to drive your enemies from their land, raze their buildings and salt their fields you mean it AND you do it. Walking the talk even when difficult.

    Fake it till you make it doesn’t work!! It’s all a facade!! The girl will see the real you one day under all the lieeeeessss!!

    Faking it is the biggest cause of game failure… the girl will see the real you one day… and what you feel they feel… Tell the paper alpha guys how far faking it will get them… Now Game as mimicry of alpha behavior does work, it just won’t work over an extended period. I think this is why you are so concerned with catching a cold or dealing with some adversity in life perhaps? when you become DPA these episodes are part of the roller coaster of life, that emotional balance that women crave and they love coming to your side and banding together… why do you think so many couples TRY and inject things like make a big move or have a baby to spark their relationship? It is all part of the natural male/female dynamic. The women are looking to be the Elly’s to your Riley…. THAT does not work if you are using one hand to hold up your mask.

    And you keep keep keep bleating on about marriage when to a person not a single guy here has advocated getting married for it’s own sake. ever. Not once. Bizarre. Are your parents divorced?

    and for the record on the Nature of Women… changed since (pick a date) 1000 BC? 100 AD? 900 AD? 1800 AD? [insert your own date] or not?

    Sun –

    if we’re about helping guys set an internal MPO but then we advise them in to a strategically stupid decision given current circumstances, are we really helping?

    What would you tell a guy who’s MPO is to get married?

    If one of your plates gives you herpes is it a strategically stupid decision you have made or a tactical error? And who is at fault?

  55. “Faking it is the biggest cause of game failure… the girl will see the real you one day…”

    Practice ’til you learn it.

  56. @ Sun

    ” Marriage runs directly counter to this strategy for men, which is why I’m puzzled by the belief that young guys should or even can have a marriage these days. Is it just ego investment on the part of already married guys? I mean, if we’re about helping guys set an internal MPO but then we advise them in to a strategically stupid decision given current circumstances, are we really helping?”

    I can’t speak for every married guy, but for myself I am not ego invested in marriage or much of anything else.

    I’m not an advocate for marriage in 2016 for a majority of men. I am a strong advocate for men not just demonizing anything just because THEY can’t see a way to make things work.

    I’ve stated a thousand times that if a man thinks marriage is undoable, then it absolutely is for him and he should stay as far away from it as humanly possible.

    The landscape in relationships has shifted and changed and become damn near unrecognizable. This is a quandary and an enigma for most men. Better to just sit it out.

    The debates here concerning why ” older married guys ” seem to just not ” get it ” is strange and most times funny to me though. I get that marriage has changed, but that says nothing at all about my marriage or my ideas of what can make marriage work. This is something that I do have experience in and not outside theory.

    So when I read the constant questions: Oh why would I do it??? Oh, she’s gonna take half of my shit!!! Ohhh, she is gonna fuck an orbiter!!! Ohhhh, it’s not worth it to have to be strong and lead her!!!!! Ohhhhh, anyone that thinks their marriage is working is only fooling themselves!!!!!…..

    Lol, I have to step in and ask that folks calm the fuck down for a second. That doesn’t mean I advocate for marriage. It means I want guys to stop and listen at the fear they are expressing about something they have no real experience in.

    That’s all I’m sayin’.

  57. “What would you tell a guy who’s MPO is to get married?”

    @Sentient

    Nobody wants to believe that monogamy is dead. That’s just sad to think about. It’s also sad to think the next generation of guys heading off to slaughter in an environment where monogamy is dead. It’s sad to think about how their kids are going to be affected by that environment. We’re realistically looking at probably two more generations of further deterioration until we hit bottom. That just sucks.

    Yeah, it’s annoying that we’re the ones that have to figure out to get through this shit without much experience out there to draw upon. It’s just easier to come to the logically shallow conclusion that “It worked for me, so it can work for you. Women haven’t changed.” That’s the mindset you need to make it work, DPA is the mindset you need to make it work, but mindsets aren’t logical. Blax’s “Calm the fuck down and stop worrying” is the mindset you need to make it work. But you aren’t actually helping anyone raise babies with that advice. At some point you need to step back and look at things with the 1’s and 0’s part of your brain. We’re going to need to milk every advantage we can to make sure guys can be around to raise their kids in the future.

    All that being said my personal opinion is that PUA’s here wouldn’t have a problem keeping a 2016 girl around long enough to raise a kid. Is that your point? I can’t really tell.

  58. It depends on what your concept of ego investment is. (And keep in mind judging what is in someone else’s head is…well, a judgement call.)

    Yes ego investment is bad when an AFC uses it in concert with Denial to not self improve or get his sexual strategy right, or to advocate for others to take a certain defined path.

    Being a product of your environment or of your life experiences and actually having mastery or Real Power(TM) is somewhat different than using an ego buffering mechanism of Denial.

    When explained here by Rollo, yes denial for an AFC not meeting his sexual strategy goals is idiotic. :

    (…Actually use the search bar for the “Denial” essay… I used my two link quota down below)

    But it is different for someone like Blax, Rollo, Sentient and even myself, when we actually are meeting our strategy goals and actually feel free. In proper perspective we actually recognize our true nature and we don’t seek elsewhere for our sense of freedom. We “already died” in a good way, we are willing to relax about the experiences of life. So rather be in denial as a buffer, we already know who we are before any particular experience comes, and after any experience goes.

    The way this (our narratives) unfolded are more universal and sure they are not prescriptive and no we can’t hand over the exact keys to your key-mastery for each individual door you have to unlock.

    Last time I checked, I checked out of the recommending marriage thing here in TRM comments.

    https://therationalmale.com/2016/08/21/the-key-masters/comment-page-2/#comment-166833

    And the comments that followed by other’s and me.

    https://therationalmale.com/2016/08/21/the-key-masters/comment-page-2/#comment-166874

    So don’t make the marriage recommendation thing a red herring. And mock me for my advocacy to take a fork in the road. I’m not telling you what fork to take, just that when you find a fork, you don’t always to turn around and be 90% safe. Taking a fork in the road is not advocating getting married in my jargon.

    I’m talking about relationship game, enlightened self interest, masculine self improvement and mindset (in Game and in life) and Red Pill awareness and theory.

    BTW, game is treating me just fine. And my wife is currently high on NRE (at least she was on Labor Day…and Lol…no, not because I’m being cucked).

  59. @ Andy

    Hey bro.

    ” Yeah, it’s annoying that we’re the ones that have to figure out to get through this shit without much experience out there to draw upon. It’s just easier to come to the logically shallow conclusion that “It worked for me, so it can work for you. Women haven’t changed.” That’s the mindset you need to make it work, DPA is the mindset you need to make it work, but mindsets aren’t logical. Blax’s “Calm the fuck down and stop worrying” is the mindset you need to make it work. But you aren’t actually helping anyone raise babies with that advice. At some point you need to step back and look at things with the 1’s and 0’s part of your brain. We’re going to need to milk every advantage we can to make sure guys can be around to raise their kids in the future. ”

    Well, my strategy isn’t really ” calm the fuck down and stop worrying “. Lol. It is a lot of Calm the fuck down though. Too much hype. Sounds like fear. I’m no fan of men being afraid. I’ve said as much numerous times. And no, I don’t believe in WORRY either. It is useless.

    If I offer a man 10,000 ways to actually make something work, but he finds a reason why HE can’t do it, or HE doesn’t want to do it, or HE doesn’t want to try because it sounds hard to him, or just that HE would rather sit in the comfort of ” monogamy is dead, marriage is dead, women are the walking dead ” mindset, then he should just resign himself to whatever life hands him that he won’t have to put any effort into.

    Logic is great. Logic based on fear sucks.

  60. “All that being said my personal opinion is that PUA’s here wouldn’t have a problem keeping a 2016 girl around long enough to raise a kid.”

    You didn’t ask for my opinion on it, but I’ll give it anyway:

    As we sit here exactly today in 2016 for what PUA’s have said outright, my opinion for them is clear:

    https://therationalmale.com/2016/08/21/the-key-masters/comment-page-2/#comment-166874

    I would basically “advise men not to have kids anymore because they WILL NOT find the type of girl you’re describing” (ed. quote from Ya) if they don’t have a clue who they themselves are, want to not settle with a good mother and when they want to have children have the finances X10 to raise them well. Don’t raise children unless you are all in on that and certainly don’t let a woman raise your children alone and FFS don’t jointly raise your children poorly.

    While we are on that topic, does anyone have a link or information to describe Tyler from RSD’s child situation from the last five years?

  61. @Blaximus

    “I get that marriage has changed, but that says nothing at all about my marriage or my ideas of what can make marriage work. This is something that I do have experience in and not outside theory.”

    This goes to the point I tried to make earlier and was misunderstood/mischaracterized. My point was that we all have our “infield experiences” in game and red pill. And they are not narrowly defined by other men’s definition of them. They might not apply to someone elses game but they are not for nothing.

    I’ve been going out in my infield with an over 90% married crowd for over 18 years now and socializing. Of course I make it a rule to avoid the unhappy and the unlucky, and can easily interpret behaviors with a red pill lens, but I’m just not seeing a lot of unhappy or unsuccessful or even frustrated people with their professions, relationships and especially not their 16 to 28 year old children. It’s these people who you want to observe: why is it that they are happy and successful? What did they do to make a success out of their strategy? It may not apply to an 28 to 40 year old man, but there are still some universal principles there, rather than individual values. From these, strategies can be derived.

  62. @Sun Wukong
    “Marriage runs directly counter to this strategy for men, which is why I’m puzzled by the belief that young guys should or even can have a marriage these days. Is it just ego investment on the part of already married guys? I mean, if we’re about helping guys set an internal MPO but then we advise them in to a strategically stupid decision given current circumstances, are we really helping?”

    Read the comment section (this isn’t a red pill subreddit this is just a general sample of people in /r/news/) for some reality checks too:

    “I had a friend who was putting her ex through the wringer. Took the house, took his dog, used his kids against him. Dude got a 2nd job bartending because he couldn’t afford to live on what he was now making. She found out one night when we were out drinking, she sued him for more child support. She did this again when he was picking up extra shifts and hiding it. Right then I realized I shouldn’t ever marry and have kids.”

    “The divorce echo chamber is a powerful thing. Everyone telling her she is entitled to his money, siding with her in every disagreement, making him into the villain. Suddenly different parenting approaches became chasms to argue over. It was pretty weird seeing how it devolved into the mess it was.”

    “I’m really sad that I’m getting to the age now where most singles are divorced single moms. A lot of them really are just dogshit people; the “you’re right, he’s wrong about everything” back patting and ego reinforcement they go through during the divorce process seems to really warp their ideas about how to treat others and what the world does/does not owe them. I’ve gone on a few dates/Tinder setups where it became immediately obvious to me why she was divorced and why I wanted no further part of it.”

    “that’s what kills me. I’m scared to put my livelihood on the line on the off chance that I get a psycho that takes everything I’ve built up for myself. the thought of going back to being basically homeless terrifies me, and there’s a good chance that happens if you go through a nasty divorce.”

    “Yeah, I completely agree. The older I get, the more I just don’t want to date ever, get married, have kids. It just seems so futile now. I’m so lucky I never got any of my ex girlfriend’s pregnant.”

    “Are you still friends?” “No, I was a dissenting opinion in how she was treating her ex which made us argue a bunch, and then she got all caught up in being “A single working mom with a deadbeat ex, and woe-is-me.” type person so I skated.”

    “My mom left my dad after 29 years of marriage. Their divorce took 2.5 years from the time of filing to the time of finalization and cost them more than 200k in legal fees (combined). Apparently, after decades of marriage, there is significantly more “shit” to go through. Not to mention that, in hindsight, we are all fairly certain their lawyers were colluding to drag it out to continue billing hours since my dad had a decent chunk of money in the bank. Not sure how much longer, if any, the 70 year old was married, but the hypothetical divorce, if comparing to my parents, sounds comparable to prison.”

    “I could go on for hours about how petty shit got over the dumbest stuff. My dad did say once it was all done, he wished he had just given her whatever she wanted on day one and saved the 200k in legal fees he had to pick up. He probably would have had more money at the end of the day.”

    Hell of a dice roll.

    And of course all of this is met with the usual incredibly nurturing sympathy that Feminism has helped enhance these days:

    “I’m a female, and I can’t even look at myself in the mirror without all the lights on. It’s way too spoopy to view a female in a dimly lit room. We’re so sneaky and conniving… we could be plotting anything! Know why we all go to the bathroom at the same time? It’s so that we can keep an eye on the others when we’re at our most vulnerable, so that they can’t pull any fast ones on us.”

    @Sentient
    “Which is precisely why I’ve never said “be Alpha 24/7 bro” and instead have said pursue the Platinum Rule and move beyond game qua game into a dynamic, passionate and authentic life… ”

    For how long? Exactly.

    “Faking it is the biggest cause of game failure… the girl will see the real you one day… and what you feel they feel… Tell the paper alpha guys how far faking it will get them… Now Game as mimicry of alpha behavior does work, it just won’t work over an extended period.”

    lol ok thanks for letting us know your view of game so we can fully discount it. I didn’t realize someone posting here would be spouting Jezzie points about how game is just faking it forever.

    “I think this is why you are so concerned with catching a cold or dealing with some adversity in life perhaps?”

    It’s because my head isn’t up my ass and I’ve seen a shitload of captain alpha Corey Worthington Naturals get cheating on, dumped, divorce-raped, etc even though they were “DPA”. I account for the realities of life.

    “when you become DPA these episodes are part of the roller coaster of life, that emotional balance that women crave and they love coming to your side and banding together”

    Feel-good nonsense fluff. A bunch of the guys above sharing divorce rape stories were probably DPA at some point but slipped up or naturally devolved over time. You still haven’t answered how your advice ISN’T just “be alpha 24/7 forever bro”. It’s hilarious that you can keep saying the exact same thing 500 ways under the sun but refuse to simply say the actual words that I’m summing your position up as because they show how dumb your advice is.

    “why do you think so many couples TRY and inject things like make a big move or have a baby to spark their relationship?”

    Because they’re bored in their LTR as the NRE wears off.

    “And you keep keep keep bleating on about marriage when to a person not a single guy here has advocated getting married for it’s own sake. ever. Not once. Bizarre.”

    Tell it to Big Al and comb through the last bunch of discussions on the subject. Plenty of guys are sticking to the “but if you find a special unicorn, and you’re DPA, it’ll be fine”. Same deal with monogamy. The whole point of my original post was that women aren’t offering monogamy if they have social media and orbiters, and they all come with that now, so men shouldn’t be offering monogamy.

    “Are your parents divorced?”

    Nope, the opposite. Very happily married. But I understand how rare that is with what we’re working with in 2016.

    “and for the record on the Nature of Women… changed since (pick a date) 1000 BC? 100 AD? 900 AD? 1800 AD? [insert your own date] or not?”

    How many times do I have to repeat that no one has ever said the Nature of Women has changed? I literally said it in my last post in THIS thread that you’re replying to. Do you have a learning disability? Society and the influences on women have changed, just like it’s no longer cool to wear disco pants so you’re probably not wearing disco pants to your next fancy event. Disco pants not being cool doesn’t mean the Nature of Men has changed. This is a very simple concept to grasp.

    “What would you tell a guy who’s MPO is to get married?”

    That he’s had that socially conditioned into him and it’s VASTLY more likely than not going to end badly and that he can have everything he wants from a marriage without a legal contract so there’s no point putting his head in the noose.

    What would YOU tell him? Be alpha bro 24/7 forever? Sorry I mean be DPA bro 24/7 forever?

    “If one of your plates gives you herpes is it a strategically stupid decision you have made or a tactical error? And who is at fault?”

    If the rate of STDs is climbing astronomically and everyone is catching herpes and you decide to ignore people warning you to wrap your dick and take precautions and you’re looking at a girl with sores all over her vag, then yes, you have made a stupid decision overall.

    Why do you want to send guys to the gallows? To justify your own life choices?

    @Blaximus
    “I am a strong advocate for men not just demonizing anything just because THEY can’t see a way to make things work.”

    I’m not demonizing it, I’m just pointing out that statistically on all fronts and through endless shared experiences etc and based on everything we know and accept about attraction, it is 1) removing your ability to leave easily which drastically reduces your ability to keep hand and 2) society is attempting to get her to divorce you in a wide array of ways with levels of pressure and influence that weren’t around in the old days, 3) you are VERY likely to fail at it and the consequences will be astronomical and may destroy your life for the rest of it’s length

    But more importantly 4) you can get EVERYTHING you get from a legal marriage without signing a legal contract. Can any guy who says “it CAN work though” bring up a reason to even TRY to walk that tightrope when you can get EVERYTHING (except like, a tax break or some shit, which will be significantly less than divorce costs) without signing that legal paper that puts your head in a noose?

    Anyone? Bueller?

    Now if a guy understands all that and still decides to get married, I won’t stop him, I’ll cross my fingers he’s the unicorn exception, but I’m sure as shit not going to recommend to all my buddies and future generations of men that they walk that tightrope to have kids when there are possible other alternative routes that don’t involve putting their head in a noose.

    @Andy
    “Nobody wants to believe that monogamy is dead. That’s just sad to think about. It’s also sad to think the next generation of guys heading off to slaughter in an environment where monogamy is dead. It’s sad to think about how their kids are going to be affected by that environment. We’re realistically looking at probably two more generations of further deterioration until we hit bottom. That just sucks.”

    This. Don’t shoot the messenger. You can ignore your disease but the longer you deny it’s there the harder it will be to treat down the road. Time to accept that we have a disease and look for alternative cures ’cause we at least have GLIMPSES of an older time where this stuff was easier to make work, that we can draw bits and pieces from (but have to take today’s cultural shifts into account). The next generation or two of guys will look at us the way we look at people trading cows for their wife and lol at how unapplicable that is to today’s society. “Just give her dad more cows guys, it worked for me” isn’t advice that guys are going to be able to apply.

    “It’s just easier to come to the logically shallow conclusion that “It worked for me, so it can work for you. Women haven’t changed.” That’s the mindset you need to make it work, DPA is the mindset you need to make it work, but mindsets aren’t logical. Blax’s “Calm the fuck down and stop worrying” is the mindset you need to make it work. But you aren’t actually helping anyone raise babies with that advice. At some point you need to step back and look at things with the 1’s and 0’s part of your brain. We’re going to need to milk every advantage we can to make sure guys can be around to raise their kids in the future.”

    This. Well put.

    Like I GET it, because your guys’ view is the same view Naturals usually have “just be cool bro” and ya, that’s a good mindset. But on a MASS level we’re going to see populations drop and MGTOW pick up steam because this vague advice and positive thinking doesn’t take into account the realities of the world today (it just assumes that any guy who gets divorce raped wasn’t positive and alpha enough which is silly) and shit is going to go to hell between the sexes and none of that will change that we’ll still have men who WANT to have kids and WANT to have a long-term relationship with a woman, but who don’t have ANY method of achieving that except a broken strategy now full of holes and covered in rust that’s almost impossible to get to work with the selection of girls and culture they’ll be trying to apply it in.

    “At some point you need to step back and look at things with the 1’s and 0’s part of your brain. We’re going to need to milk every advantage we can to make sure guys can be around to raise their kids in the future.”

    Ya, we’re not discounting your opinions and we’re not saying that “being DPA is bad” and “being alpha is bad” We’re saying that realistically for the majority of the men out there, they’re not going to just become DPA overnight and have it last for life so they don’t get raped. So unless all you want is assholes like ME to reproduce then we should figure out some alternative ideas for guys that carry lower risks than the traditional route that’s clearly broken.

    “All that being said my personal opinion is that PUA’s here wouldn’t have a problem keeping a 2016 girl around long enough to raise a kid. Is that your point? I can’t really tell.”

    Personally I think keeping a girl around for the NRE years would be no problem, but past that (I’m assuming we’re talking about <25yo 8+/10s in 2016 culture) you're probably on borrowed time. She's probably going to have to stray at some point to realize that Fabio69's profile was full of shit, and that probably won't be at the 18 year mark. Most guys may have to deal with a custody battle of some kind at some point, probably around the 7-year-itch mark. If you can keep your shit up you might make it to your deathbeds together, but that's going to get more and more rare so better not to bank everything you have on being able to pull it off, especially when there's NO benefit to it.

    @Blaximus
    "I’m no fan of men being afraid."

    Not jumping out of a plane without a parachute and hoping you'll land on something soft isn't being afraid lol It's playing the odds intelligently.

    @SJF
    "While we are on that topic, does anyone have a link or information to describe Tyler from RSD’s child situation from the last five years?"

    Congrats to Golden State on the #nbafinals

    A post shared by Owen Cook (@rsdtyler) on

    Just landed in Los Angeles after a long trip to the east coast

    A post shared by Owen Cook (@rsdtyler) on

    #rsddylan assisting me with my hair loss issues

    A post shared by Owen Cook (@rsdtyler) on

    You can find tons of pics of his kids on his Instagram. Seems to be going alright aside from him having a job where he has to travel a lot.

    One of his kids has a slight mental disability (can't remember what disability, I think it's the kid that seems super happy all the time) and needs some special attention/schooling I think, but otherwise he's got some cute happy kids with a good positive male influence and wants to have a bunch more kids.

    All without monogamy or legal marriage.

    There are alternative paths to this shit…let the old system die and let's brainstorm and experiment for the next generations.

    I THINK his original baby mama and him aren't together-together (so basically "divorced" minus all the bad shit that could have come with it if he was legally married to her) but they're still friends and there's no custody battles or anything and Tyler is banging young hotties and she's probably got some dude and he's able to still be a big influence in their life etc

    Tyler's approach may fuck up entirely, who knows, but so far it looks like a pretty good setup, especially for a guy who's job doesn't involve as much travel. And it might not even be perfect, there are probably areas of how he did things that could be tightened up. So why push guys into monogamous LTRs and marriage chasing that 1% chance they'll stay alpha 24/7 for life when we could look for better approaches in this eat pray love society.

    Personally I'd rather have Tyler's kids (brought up eating healthy, meditating, reading and learning etc as he programs them to be super-beings lol) befriending my future theoretical kids and running/influencing society than kids coming out of some deadbedroom miserable home full of cheating and jealousy and negativity eventually ending with a single mom raising them with random shitty male influences passing through each weekend and a dad that's breaking his back working 3 jobs living out of his car. lol

    But to get there, we may have to accept that it might not be possible to BE "DPA" enough that she's NEVER going to be curious about those orbiters or NEVER going to cheat or go eat pray love for a bit. Maybe we have to accept that she's going to NEED to do that to reinforce how much better her life is with you if she starts to lose the feels and maybe we shouldn't be monoLTR'ing and legally handicapping ourselves so that if she DOES stray we can just call up another girl in our harem and bang her out till she comes back (or be fine with not taking her back but still have custody of our kids etc).

  63. @ SJF

    ” My point was that we all have our “infield experiences” in game and red pill. And they are not narrowly defined by other men’s definition of them. They might not apply to someone elses game but they are not for nothing. ”

    Exactly.

    There seems to be some kind of ” OH MAN, THE OLD DUDES ARE TALKING AGAIN..” thing that crops up from time to time. But what I’m trying to get across is that it is not a bad thing to LISTEN sometimes and THINK things through from another perspective that one may have zero experience with.

    How else will one learn?

    I’ve been watching for weeks on end, as Sentient has been trying mightily to get a message across that makes perfect sense to me. But mostly everyone else treats what he’s saying like it’s advanced physics of something.

    Maybe sometimes people will not accept simpler answers to more complex problems? Idk.

  64. YaReally
    TOO BAD SHE’S PROBABLY BORING AS FUCK TO TALK TO lol That’s always the funny part to me. Girls want deep conversation but then they know like surface level shit at best and get lost when you go over their heads. Like okay you’re having fun but I’m just talking to a child here lol

    Too true. Women’s brains tend to revolve around resources, children, and social standing – “did you hear what Dawn said Brittaney told her about Sarah?”. Money, sperm, other girls, “experiences”, money. New shoes. That new Thai restaurant. This is why talking to girls about travel really perks them up, usually, because it’s an experience-driven thing, with “shiny-new” all over it.

    ‘Course a woman will hang on the words of a man she’s attracted to, or will stand around watching him uncrate an engine and put it into a Chevy, or will play golf with him, or will Netflix something she’s not that keen about.

    That’s why it’s important to learn good conversational skills, so that you can steer a topic where you want it, since most girls will circle back to the same stuff over and over again. That includes LTR’s, most definitely.

  65. @ Sentient

    ” Faking it is the biggest cause of game failure… the girl will see the real you one day… and what you feel they feel… Tell the paper alpha guys how far faking it will get them… Now Game as mimicry of alpha behavior does work, it just won’t work over an extended period. I think this is why you are so concerned with catching a cold or dealing with some adversity in life perhaps? when you become DPA these episodes are part of the roller coaster of life, that emotional balance that women crave and they love coming to your side and banding together… why do you think so many couples TRY and inject things like make a big move or have a baby to spark their relationship? It is all part of the natural male/female dynamic. The women are looking to be the Elly’s to your Riley…. THAT does not work if you are using one hand to hold up your mask.”

    I agree. I think guys have a strong tendency to look at the faking it part, as some kind of permanent state to remain in, and not a roadmap of building themselves PERMANENTLY into a better, stronger, smarter man.

    If I was able to fake my way into my current job, without actually having the requisite knowledge and SKILLS, it would come as no surprise that eventually I would be found out. Unemployment would naturally be in my future at that point.

    I do not believe that one can fake resolve, understanding, and a sense of themselves for the long haul. If it still feels like work, you’re not there yet. Don’t commit to anything real in life or unhappy will be your ultimate result.

  66. Blaximus
    “Buuuutttt…. there’s more to this than just orbiters and dudes on a screen.”

    YaReally
    Oh god, ya, there’s like a million little factors involved in what’s going on. I’m just bringing up the most obvious blatant part of the shift…I mean look at the uphill battle I’ve had in just getting THIS reality to be accepted around here lol no reason to go into deeper more subtle issues going on.

    Let’s say that SJF’s younger son puts a ring on a girl when he’s 28 and she’s 24. A baby or two later, she’s 30 and the hawt d00d from high school or college that she just pined away for suddenly shows up on her personal social media; Facebook or whatever replaces it in the next 5 years. All the emotional feelz she had for him come storming back, and maybe he’s gonna be in town, etc.

    So now SJF’s son isn’t just competing with whatever orbiters she still has he’s also competing with memories from the past manifested in the here and now.

    I know a man in his mid 30’s, married a slightly younger woman about 6 years back. He teases her about her “bad boys” once in a while, in something rather like amused mastery. But more to the point, they have 4 children, and possibly another on the way; she doesnt’ have the time or energy to contact any bad boys in her past, and even if she did the logistics would be insane. That’s one way to make it work.

  67. Julien Blanc & Ryan Holiday Discuss “Ego Is The Enemy”

    Julien: “It comes down to being honest with yourself (whatever you can do to realize what being honest with yourself is) and not being afraid of that authenticity (privately or publicly).”

    Ryan: “Rigorous self honesty and embracing what you find there.”

    http://www.bigbencomedy.com/blog/archives/ego-enemy-quotes/

    “Marina Abramovic says: If you start believing in your greatness, it is the death of your creativity.” (4)

    “Talk depletes us. Talking and doing fight for the same resources. Research shows that while goal visualization is important, after a certain point our mind begins to confuse it with actual progress. The same goes for verbalization. Even talking aloud to ourselves while we work through difficult problems has been shown to significantly decrease insight and breakthroughs. After spending so much time thinking, explaining, and talking about a task, we start to feel that we’ve gotten closer to achieving it.” (27)

    “Doing great work is a struggle. It’s draining, it’s demoralizing, it’s frightening – not always, but it can feel that way when we’re deep in the middle of it. We talk to fill the void and the uncertainty.” (27)

    “The greatest work and art comes from wrestling with the void, facing it instead of scrambling to make it go away.” (28)

    “The only relationship between work and chatter is that one kills the other.” (28)

    “Impressing people is utterly different from being truly impressive.” (32)
    “There’s a quip from the historian Will Durant, that a nation is born stoic and dies epicurean.” (32)

    “The power of being a student is not just that it is an extended period of instruction, it also places the ego and ambition in someone else’s hands. There is a sort of ego ceiling imposed – one knows that he is not better than the “master” he apprentices under. Not even close. You defer to them, you subsume yourself. You cannot fake or bullshit them.” (38)

    “The pretense of knowledge is our most dangerous vice, because it prevents us from getting any better. Studious self-assessment is the antidote.” (39)

    “Because we only seem to hear about the passion of successful people,w e forget that failures shared the same trait.” (47)

    “Be an anteambulo (forerunner). Clear the path for the people above you and you will eventually create a path for yourself.” (53)

    “When you are just starting out, we can be sure of a few fundamental realities: 1) You’re not nearly as good or as important as you think you are; 2) You have an attitude that needs to be readjusted; 3) Most of what you think you know or most of what you learned in books or in school is out of date or wrong.” (53)

    “Greatness comes from humble beginnings; it comes from grunt work. It means you’re the least important person in the room – until you change that with results.” (56)

    “Be lesser, do more. Imagine if for every person you met, you thought of some way to help them, something you could do fro them? And you looked at it in a way that entirely benefited them and not you.” (46)

    “Most people’s egos prevent them from appreciating: the person who clears the path ultimately controls its direction.” (58)

    “It is a timeless fact of life that the up-and-coming must endure the abuses of the entrenched.” (64)

    “It’s a sad fact of life that new talents are regularly missed, and even when recognized, often unappreciated. The reasons always vary, but it’s a part of the journey.” (64)

    “You’re not able to change the system until after you’ve made it. In the meantime, you’ll have to find some way to make it suit your purposes – even if those purposes are just extra time to develop properly, to learn from others on their dime, to build your base and establish yourself.” (64)
    “Genghis Khan warned, “If you can’t swallow your pride, you can’t lead.” (77)

    “The question to ask, when you feel pride, then, is this: What am I missing right now that a more humble person might see? What am I avoiding, or running from, with my bluster, franticness, and embellishments?” (77)

    “Fac, si facis. (Do it if you’re going to do it.)” (82)

    “We want so desperately to believe that those who have great empires set out to build one. Why? So we can indulge in the pleasurable planning of ours.” (109)

    “Once you win, everyone is gunning for you. It’s during your moment at the top that you can afford ego the least – because the stakes are so much higher, the margins for error are so much smaller. If anything, your ability to listen, to hear feedback, to improve and grow matter more now than ever before.” (110)

    “Instead of pretending that we are living some great story, we must remain focused on the execution – and on executing with excellence. We must shun the false crown and continue working on what got us here. Because that’s the only thing that will keep us here.” (113)

    “Ego needs honors in order to be validated. Confidence, on the other hand, is able to wait and focus on the task at hand regardless of external recognition.” (134)

    “We never earn the right to be greedy or to pursue our interests at the expense of everyone else. To think otherwise is not only egotistical, it’s counterproductive.” (135)

    “The only way out is through.” (168)

    “This is what we’re aspiring to – much more than mere success. What matters is that we can respond to what life throws at us. And how we make it through.” (169)

    “”Ambition,” Marcus Aurelius reminded himself, “means tying your well-being to what other people say or do… Sanity means tying it to your own actions.” Do your work. Do it well. Then “let go and let God.” That’s all there needs to be.” (180)

    “The world is, after all, indifferent to what we humans “want.” If we persist in wanting, in needing, we are simply setting ourselves up for resentment or worse. Doing the work is enough.” (181)

    “The problem is that when we get our identity tied up in our work, we worry that any kind of failure will then say something bad about us as a person.” (189)

    “Your potential, the absolute best you’re capable of – that’s the metric to measure yourself against. Your standards are. Winning is not enough. People can get lucky and win. People can be assholes and win. Anyone can win. But not everyone is the best possible version of themselves.” (197)

    “A person who judges himself based on his own standard doesn’t crave the spotlight the same way as someone who lets applause dictate success.” (199)

    “A person who can think long term doesn’t pity herself during short-term setbacks.” (199)

    “This obsession with the past, with something that someone did or how things should have been, as much as it hurts, is ego embodied.” (206)

    “Perfecting the personal regularly leads to success as a professional, but rarely the other way around.” (216)

  68. ” . . . it is not a bad thing to LISTEN sometimes and THINK things through from another perspective that one may have zero experience with.”

    Absofuckinglutely. But the point I have been trying to make, as an old man myself, is that a young man today will never be able to have the same experience.

    If I took my own experience and advised a young man today that the best financial move he could make for his future was to start filling up his closet with rolls of quarters, he would quite justifiably assume I was in some advanced state of dementia.

    Because today, quarters are not made from 90% silver alloy.

    “I think guys have a strong tendency to look at the faking it part, as some kind of permanent state to remain in . . .”

    Because if what you practice is faking it, what you get better at is faking it.

    You will not rise to the occasion, You will default to your training.

    Practice fundamental skills until the skills are what you are.

  69. “Impressing people is utterly different from being truly impressive.”

    Or, as I have had to phrase it in conversation:

    I am not an elitist, I am elite.

  70. Blaximus: “Maybe sometimes people will not accept simpler answers to more complex problems?”

    In my opinion, some commenters are like observing that two trees were blown down on a windy night in the woods and instead of thinking the wind blew them down, they explain that two meteorites have each taken one tree down, and after that hit each other and removed any trace of themselves.

    Notwithstanding the fact that social media, feminism, the state of marriage and the ability to raise children is more of a problem.

    Ryan Holiday: “It is a timeless fact of life that the up-and-coming must endure the abuses of the entrenched.”

    AR: “I know a man in his mid 30’s, married a slightly younger woman about 6 years back. He teases her about her “bad boys” once in a while, in something rather like amused mastery. But more to the point, they have 4 children, and possibly another on the way; she doesnt’ have the time or energy to contact any bad boys in her past, and even if she did the logistics would be insane. That’s one way to make it work.”

    Occam’s razor.

    Suppose there exist two explanations for an occurrence. In this case the simpler one is usually better.

    Another way of saying it is that the more assumptions you have to make, the more unlikely an explanation is.

    Medical students are often told, “When you hear hoof beats, think horses, not zebras”

    I prefer to recommend a guy up his Mastery and Game, rather than think the Feminine is shitty and social media is taking the world down and a man’s agency with it. The OMG’s are precisely recommending that guys up their Game. They just have a funny serious way of doing it.

    I don’t like the lack of Femininity in the world today. But the Feminine in the world still has lots of energy to give to a man. It can be given to him, or he can steal it.

  71. Old Married Guys

    And because I’m dead certain some readers didn’t read this the first time:

    https://therationalmale.com/2016/08/07/trust-issues/comment-page-2/#comment-165903

    Ian Ironwood (end of long article in that link to comment):

    ………….”And the most important thing the Betas need to discover? They don’t need any damn woman’s permission to take the plunge, swallow the Red Pill, and rediscover their own masculinity.

    And heck . . . we’re willing to help.

    So if there is one thing I’d like to see the Manosphere accomplish, it’s to inspire a Revolt of the Betas. Because if a significant portion of the men in the West were to learn Game on the way towards embracing our own masculinity, then collectively we might be able to improve things for all men. Once they are convinced to stop working against their own masculine interests, realize their own value in society, and give them the tools to recognize that, then we’re going to see a lot more Red Pills going down the hatch. And that’s a good thing for everyone.

    I don’t want to turn others into an old married guy. I have no animosity to PUA’s (I love them for their contributions). I’m not going to abdicate from my position as a Patriologist, nor do I have motive to become a Puerarch PUA even if I have learned and do employ PUA tactics in all facets of my life. And yes I want to advance our sexual strategy that has become usurped by feminists and by Blue Pill losers.

    How wrong is that? How negative am I about Game As A Tool Towards Recovering A Lost Masculinity?

    How negative am I about PUA? I’m not.

    Married Red pill is about regaining a spouse’s desire in a relationship that is desired by a red pill masculine man.

    Will I advocate for OMG’s and Patriology? Certainly. Don’t take is a prescription or as an offense if you aren’t in that camp. You do you.
    And Lost Boys: know who you are and self-improve and have agency in your sexual strategy. The best tactic for you is to learn Pick Up Artistry.

    And the best tactic for OMG’s is to learn Game, rekindle desire (take away the worst of what you fucked up on first) and raise your kids well to the age of 21 and beyond. Your children are a by product of your relationship with their mother and that relationship can always be improved and enjoyed. And that takes a man knowing who he is and sticking to his Purpose.”

  72. Actually go read the entire last link if you haven’t before. The shortened version doesn’t do the essay justice.

  73. @YaReally Californication is great. The other great older dude/younger girl show is Mad Men—when Don is banging that teacher. The connection transcends their age gap because he’s so alpha and games her with just enough vulnerability.

    @Sentient regarding you can’t be alpha 24/7…In my own experience it’s the mindset that’s critical.

    One of my plates baked me a cake.. The next day I thanked her and teased her about it saying: “I’m ploughing through that cake…”

    That made her feel great knowing I enjoyed myself. But is gushing about a surprise gift alpha? Not really but in that context it didn’t matter. Showing gratitude was more important.

    In the case of another plate who went too far shit-testing me….I tore a strip off her. She was back-pedaling saying “I’m teasing”. To which I reply….”Be funnier”…She then has to explain her “humour” via text because I clearly missed it. I tell her “You went too far…”

    Now is losing your shit alpha? Not really. But when you establish boundaries and she pushes them….you can lose your shit and she’ll know where the line is.

    Spend enough time around younger girls and you realize how emotionally tone deaf they are….they’re so self-absorbed that you’re doing them a favour by disciplining them in a way their parents clearly didn’t….calling them out, back turning and withdrawing attention.

    Context is king here.

  74. Mr. Tomassi,

    If you are making changes to your webpage, I would suggest the following:

    1. Make it so that we can respond directly to a specific comment “under” that comment, rather than one long thread. For example:

    Mr. A says “XXXXXX”
    Mr. B responds “YYYYYY”
    Mr. A: XXXXXX
    Mr. C. ZZZZZZZZ

    etc. This would make it clearer who is talking to whom.

    2. I think a “general comment” or small “forum” section might be useful. I’ve been coming across the odd link that yourself or the other people might find useful, but don’t really fit with your current post.

    Cheers,

    HST

  75. @KFG – “You may not be interested in eusociality, but that makes eusociality particularly interested in you. It is the enemy of praxeology.”

    I’m down with the first sentence but I cannot see how eusociality is the enemy of praxeology. Eusociality is a social trait of some members of a species who’s lives aren’t about reproduction and survival, but rather they behave in ways that benefit the entire species and allow others to reproduce, roughly. Praxeology is the study of human action – am I missing something?

    @SJF and Fred – Neither of you understand eusociality. Study it in ants and termites first, then think about humans. Beta men are like worker ants. They serve others before themselves.

    The problem today is that the beta never gets respect or a payoff for serving others. I think that old (but fairly recent) social order gave beta men respect. They kept their heads down, did what they were told, worked hard, didn’t make trouble or try to fuck every woman in sight (if all men chased pussy like alphas human society wouldn’t work). This was my shock. Like nobody gives a shit that I provided and cared for my daughter for 20+ years, and she then writes me off. There is no social penalty for her. No shaming. No pressure from family members. She’s a woman – she can do whatever the fuck she wants.

    But imagine I had just split when I found out about her Mom fucking the chef when my daughter was 4.5? Didn’t pay child support, didn’t stay in her life and do all the weekends and vacations and school functions and sports and paid all that money for so many other things? Well, then I’m a “deadbeat Dad” and I’d be shamed and pressured to “do the right thing”. The state will chase me down for the money in fact. The point is that we are destroying the incentives a man had to be beta. Whether he died “heroically” on the battlefield, or spent his life supporting and protecting his family, 50 years ago, an everyman who did these things was respected. Arte and entertainment reinforced these roles and values, and gave men respect and gratitude at some level for these behaviors. Now? Beta revolt indeed…

    Our culture and social structures and our biology evolved for eusociality. Group selection favors eusociality because eusocial species have a huge advantage over species where individuals are left to their own devices largely. As I’ve mentioned before, E. O. Wilson’s The Social Conquest of Earth goes into these topics deeply. After 3 readings I’m starting to get it at a deeper level.

    @Rollo – And the above is why I think the political matters a lot and has had a huge effect on the intersexual dynamics you study and present here. It was politics over the past 100 years that was the instrument of destroying the family. It was politics that removed and moved and gutted the social structures which kept people largely faithful and monogamous. It’s politics that created a culture which revels in the destruction of our social order – the very definition of nihilism.

    Re: Social media and texting. I just laugh at the old guys here running their yaps about this shit. Me, at 54, I was FB chatting with a 22yo former massage girl who I fucked 1.5 years ago who I didn’t shut the door with, and she’s coming back at me (getting ASD from her). I was also texting a 22yo today. I was Snapchatting with a 21yo yesterday. too These interactions – which these kids have been raised on pretty much – affect so many aspects of their behavior and acculturation.

    Walawala and YaReally are completely correct – intent is crucial. You old guys are not seeing it so clearly because you aren’t trying to get laid as Ya points out, so the entire frame of your interaction is different. It’s more like you are tourists in a new city, while I’m trying to become mayor of the fucking place, ya?

    Text game is way different these days. I started changing up my approach after reading some stuff here a year or 2 ago when the old “1 for every 2” stopped working. And being an a-hole stopped working. But I figured something new out. The girls are bored. Like Ya and others point out, their phones are instant entertainment. Go back up the thread and look carefully at the pic Ya posted of the guy and girl on the ferris wheel. An AFC sees a girl being rude and the guy all pissed off. I see a girl who’s more intrigued with her virtual world, and a real world guy getting butthurt. Imagine if that kid had the balls to grab her phone, put it in his pocket and THEN took on the challenge of being interesting enough and strong enough to hold her attention? Nah, he’d rather sit there all pissed off and feel sorry for himself. Fucking chode. In a way, he deserves it.

    @Sentient, indeed “fake it till you make it” is destructive. Practice isn’t “faking”, it’s just practice. And it reveals what you are doing wrong, and brings to the fore what is missing. But you aren’t faking shit. I mean, if you throw a baseball for the first time, are you “faking it”? No, you are just learning and suck at it. You’ll get better, but not by faking it, rather by seeing what you aren’t doing. And in the case of PUA, it’s about who you are being, which is incredibly confronting. This is why DPA, being one’s own MPO and the Platinum Rule are so helpful as they are actionable.

    New text game for me is better. I don’t have to worry about saying too much or count back and forth all the time. When convos don’t work out or threads go dead, I just move on. I don’t send a stupid text like “Don’t ignore me!”, or other dumb shit. It’s not a shit test – it’s like they are changing the channel on a TV. Remember “solipsism”? I think virtuality just deepens this problem for woman as most of them cannot step out of their inner world and POV.

    But you can tantalize them and tease them – and then just stop for a day. You can pick up a convo any time, and actually interact. I had a 1.5 hour running FB chat with the HB7+ 21yo last night, talking about each other’s lives and issues. This is how they communicate. It’s okay.

    Another aspect? The immediacy of the digital world reinforces women’s natural tendency to just be about “the now”. Like it doesn’t matter that we went sideways a bit or things got weird, I can just recalibrate and move on as if nothing happened and it works. They don’t care, they just want to be entertained and to have their boredom interrupted.

    @Ya, Sentient, Walawala – Ding, ding, ding! Not enough attraction. I go for comfort and rapport too quickly. Worse yet? I now know that I do so cuz I don’t think they’ll find me attractive. I may try a bit but at the first sign of resistance I go soft and become the “mentor” type. They’ll love my voice (I get this from several of the young hotties I’ve chased but didn’t fuck or didn’t get real hot desire sex from), but not my dick. I’m scared to show that intent at the risk of being called a creep. Yup. It just doesn’t happen on approach at all anymore. I self-sabotage every time. I also don’t spike their emotions enough. Sigh…

  76. @kfg

    “Faking it is the biggest cause of game failure… the girl will see the real you one day…”

    Practice ’til you learn it.

    The way I see it, getting caught using game is like getting caught imitating a celebrity, (cuz it’s the same thing). Who could fucking blame me?

    It’s not like she has to practice having such huge tits so far up her chest. lol.

  77. Sorry, that didn’t show the indentations under #1 (and so probably didn’t make sense). The idea was that “Mr. B” etc were indented a bit to the right, so it was clear they were responding to Mr. A’s initial post.

  78. @ YaReally

    Okay. I’m still re-reading and thinking, but I’ma throw something out to try and illustrate the point in some small way using my brother Andy as an example of what I am talking about.

    Andy, I’m not trying to talk shit about you. You’re my man. Buuutttt…..

    Andy is married with kids and all of the stuff that goes along with it. His wife isn’t a 2016 young 20 year old 10, but she sounds pretty damn good to me.

    But my brother is sounding the alarm. Mind you, he’s not having any immediate issues at all. Just ” thoughts “. He is voraciously reading everything he can about why marriage is suicide, but his is not. Andy and myself, we are in a very similar position. Do we sound the same?

    When I speak of overreaction and fear, this is what I am talking about. Every guy here that is theoretically against monogamy and marriage and even LTR’s, that’s all well and good, but it is still theory if you’ve never actually been in it, or even TRIED to imagine actually having a skillset that you aren’t questioning 100,000 times, over and over again, of how this stuff is supposed to work out.

    Just the suggestion on how to deal with females in marriage is met with stories and examples of some poor guy that was ass raped by the system in divorce. Using that same logic, I could say that a guy has to be insane to drive a car, because I can post dozens of examples daily of people loosing their lives in auto accidents.

    Under certain conditions, the odds are pretty high that I can catch a bullet from a cop in a routine interaction. Lot’s and lot’s of examples for years and years. But I won’t overreact and barricade myself in my home, refusing to come outside because…you know….cops.

    It seems everyone wants everything to be plain, simple and as easy as it can be. I have absolutely no reference point for that mindset. I have had to put in effort, sometimes extreme effort, for everything I have gained in life, and it is a constant that I could loose it all tomorrow for any number of reasons.

    I don’t seek ” easy ” in life. I seek opportunity and knowledge to help me succeed. I’ll handle the rest, and if I fail and live to tell, that’s not bad. I gave up on easy 40 years ago. I left behind a lot of folks that refused to except struggle and unfairness and risk. They are mostly right where I left them.

    I have a cousin serving a life sentence in prison. He caught his wife in bed with his brother, and shot them both, killing her. I have a childhood friend whose wife, while he was in the army stationed in Korea, got pregnant by another man. He raised this kid for 10 years before the truth came out.

    I agree that things have changed a lot currently. I also agree that guys have to learn new ways to deal with the facts on the ground in 2016. You will never get an argument from me on that point. Truth.

    But, shit happens. And a man must never let ” shit ” define him, especially other people’s shit. It has been my life’s experience that if a man is trying to do anything of worth, he will most likely get some shit on him at some point. Avoid shit when possible, wipe it off and keep going if not possible to avoid.

    For every ” you are NOT the father “story I know, and every ” brother shoots brother ” story, there are more stories that are neither.

    And I come back full circle.

    If a guy sees no benefit in ltr’s or marriage, then he should not embark on either. Sin problemas.

    If society changes so much that the Old Set Of Books no longer apply, write a new set, but leave out the over-arching fear factor. But water will remain wet, no matter what. Fire will always burn, and women will always come to heal under a man’s guidance and strong influence. Most women.

    If one does not believe that, then it will NEVER be so for him.

    In the meantime, again, get your damn sex game on point, and bang as many chicks as possible. Always. Gain knowledge. It is useful. And always, tell fear to go fuck itself.

    ‘ Fair ” is a place that has rides and where they judge livestock.

  79. @ScribblerG

    If you are getting more and more out of E. O. Wilson’s book, you would enjoy a perhaps similar grand perspective from Yuval Harari’s book Sapiens. I found it absolutely fascinating and while it doesn’t give actionable advice, it does enable one to shape and justify his world view and choose his allegiances wisely.

    See if this review intrigues you:

    http://www.words-and-dirt.com/words/review-yuval-noah-hararis-sapiens/

    Lately I’ve been wondering who’s going to take up Edward O. Wilson’s mantle after he dies. For decades, Wilson has penned accessible, intelligent books that help nonspecialists understand what he calls the “Evolutionary Epic”––the grand narrative of terrestrial life. “People need a sacred narrative,” Wilson wrote in 1998. “Homo sapiens is far more than a congeries of tribes and races. We are a single gene pool from which individuals are drawn in each generation and into which they are dissolved the next generation, forever united as a species by heritage and a common future” (Consilience, 289-90).

    Though sprung from the mind of an Israeli historian rather than an American biologist, Yuval Noah Harari’s Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind marks a wonderful contribution to the “sacred narrative” of the modern, secular world. Combining fastidious research and acerbic humor, Harari distills 2.5 million years of human evolution into just over 400 pages. Such a project has significant limitations, but Harari conjures an impressive summary of the most significant events and questions of human history…….
    __________

    …….Sapiens is a powerful tool for generating humility, and this is the book’s greatest strength. Over and over, Harari disabuses readers of the notion that any modern humans are living in an “ideal” or “natural” state. “We study history,” he asserts, “not to know the future but to widen our horizons, to understand that our present situation is neither natural nor inevitable, and that we consequently have many more possibilities before us than we imagine” (241). Harari doesn’t deny the considerable influence of biology on human behavior, but definitely sees culture as the dominant factor in shaping modern life. After reading Sapiens, it’s difficult to disagree.

    If we take seriously the suggestion that “our present situation is neither natural nor inevitable,” we must also take responsibility for whatever small parts we play in our own corners of the Evolutionary Epic. We cannot excuse our failings by invoking the forces of fate or physics, even if we believe ourselves completely subject to them. We do not experience ourselves as predetermined marionettes, but rather as open-ended animals with mutable identities in an unfinished world. The imagined realities we accept or reject play a huge role in shaping and justifying our decisions, and since some imagined realities are substantively better than others, we need books like Sapiens to help us choose our allegiances wisely.

    Homo sapiens has proved itself a petty and dangerous species more often than not, but I don’t think a more enlightened path is off the table, not quite yet. Thinkers like Yuval Noah Harari and Edward O. Wilson are the best of us––teachers who provide invaluable opportunities to propel ourselves forward by looking back. Unlike Wilson, the majority of Harari’s life is likely still ahead of him. This is something for which we should all be thankful.

    Quotes:

    “In order to change an existing imagined order, we must first believe in an alternative imagined order…When we break down our prison walls and run towards freedom, we are in fact running into the more spacious exercise yard of a bigger prison. (p.118)

    “It is an iron rule of history that what looks inevitable in hindsight was far from obvious at the time. Today is no different.” (p.239)

    “The dynamics of history are not directed towards enhancing human well-being. There is no basis for thinking that the most successful cultures in history are necessarily the best ones for Homo sapiens. Like evolution, history disregards the happiness of individual organisms. And individual humans, for their part, are usually far too ignorant and weak to influence the course of history to their own advantage.” (p.243-4)

    “Despite the astonishing things that humans are capable of doing, we remain unsure of our goals and we seem to be as discontented as ever…Self-made gods with only the laws of physics to keep us company, we are accountable to no one. We are consequently wreaking havoc on our fellow animals and on the surrounding ecosystem, seeking little more than our own comfort and amusement, yet never finding satisfaction. Is there anything more dangerous than dissatisfied and irresponsible gods who don’t know what they want?” (415-6)

  80. The latest on Eat, Prey, Luv

    Gilbert also addresses how her love for Elias affected her marriage to her second husband José Nunes, from whom she separated in July: “For those of you who are doing the math here, and who are wondering if this situation is why my marriage came to an end this spring, the simple answer is yes.”

    Eat, Pray, Love author Elizabeth Gilbert has shared that she is in love with her best friend Rayya Elias in a touching Facebook post on Wednesday.

    She also divulges that Elias has been diagnosed with uncureable pancreatic and liver cancer. In the post, she describes realizing her love for Elias after her cancer diagnosis.

    http://www.ew.com/article/2016/09/07/elizabeth-gilbert-rayya-elias-relationship

  81. Oh yeah, scrib-

    Not all Old Guys ™ don’t get digital age distraction. I happen to spend more time with teens and twentysomethings than I do with folks my own age…. I don’t know if that’s a bad or good thing.

    As I was pointing out earlier, I see what’s going on, I understand what’s going on, but I don’t really care deeply because it is proving destructive. Like crack. lol.

    I keep getting the ” you’re old and out of touch ” vibe, and that’s not my case.

    YaReally sparked my interest with the idea of getting chicks to forego their social media. He does shit like that to my head. What I am finding out is what girls will actually admit to.

    I still maintain that yes, things have changed, but girls are still basically the same at their cores. Doesn’t look like I can get anyone to even LIE about giving up social media, but even the discussions are telling.

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