Damaged Goods

damaged_goods

As a part of my line of work doing liquor branding promos, I’ve frequently had to do spots with (terrestrial) radio talk shows for events and such. I’ve had to familiarize myself often with these personalities; some I became long time friends with, others kind of burned out or became victims of what they thought was a greater social proof than they actually had.

One thing I’ve noted in working with the men who host these shows is that more often than not they suffer from deeply invested Blue Pill mindsets with regard to women. Many of them eventually invited women into their male space as co-hosts to help with appealing to the female demographic, and like all other “female friendly” ventures, the character of the show shifts to promoting the same feminized boilerplate we see in Purple Pill forums and blogs that began with a more Red Pill tone.

Almost invariably there develops a segment or some call in bit where the host and hostess(es) attempt to suss out the romantic problems of a caller or emailer. If you listen to any semi-popular local morning commute show you’ll get this segment at least once or twice a week. All of them follow the same format. All of them rattle off the same Blue Pill tropes even those without the aid of a Red Pill Lens are familiar with – open communication, keep it fresh, meeting (her) needs, be supportive, etc. and all the standards you can expect from a society that doesn’t question the rote memorization of Oprah or Dr. Phil’s idioms.

If you do have a reasonably attuned Red Pill Lens you’ll just grind your teeth at all of it, but it confirms and highlights the Beta inside the host despite all his other blusterings on the show. It also serves to highlight the saturation of the Blue Pill’s conditioning reach into society.

So it was on one of these shows I was listening to this week that the ‘morning zoo’ decided to take a stab at one emailer’s very common problem. It was the typical Dead Bedrooms problem you’ll find in the subredd of the same name; “My wife is frigid, how do I get her to want to fuck me?” However, the story had a slight twist that nicely dovetails into a topic I’ve wanted to explore.

In this man’s story, he’d married a woman for all the right Blue Pill reasons. He loved her, “connected” with her on what he imagines are deep emotional levels, was supportive, dedicated, but was only able to have sex with her in as limited and as lackluster a way as she felt ‘comfortable‘ in having with him. After a year and a half of marriage, she’d completely “shut down” on him sexually. Anytime he initiated she would recoil from him and begin to cry.

There was no elaboration on her part as to why she was crying and up to the point of his seeking advice she’d offered no reason for her reluctance to fuck him. Fast forward to now and it’s been almost a year for him without sex with his wife, no explanation, and his ‘needs‘ are being unmet. He’s emotionally invested in her in the way you’d expect a Blue Pill, dutiful Beta would be, so his inner turmoil is one of the Paradox of Commitment conflict with his ‘need‘ and expectation of having sex with his wife.

As I said, this is standard Dead Bedrooms fare for the majority of men who married while fully immersed in a Blue Pill world. Unfortunately, we don’t have much more to go on – there were no descriptions of background, histories, family particulars, etc. given, however, my guess would be his wife is experiencing  the very common post-marriage Beta ‘buyers remorse’. However, this is why I thought the analysis and advice on the part of the hosts (1 male host, 1 male, and 2 female co-hosts) were very telling about the state of the Blue Pill world.

Presuming Abuse

The first reflexive interpretation on the part of the women was that this wife had some form of sexual abuse in her personal history and the husband’s initiating sex was triggering some unresolved sex issues she’d never dealt with and apparently never revealed to her husband when they were having sex in the years leading up to it. Again, there was no information about this from the emailer, but this was the first presumption the female co-hosts jumped to whenever a woman is described as crying about having sex.

We don’t really know if this is the case, but I found it interesting how useful that presumption is for women. In almost every social infraction we are expected to presume a blameless state with women. Whether that stems from rape allegations, ‘slut shaming’, past sexual history, red-handed infidelity, or, in this case, the presumed possibility of sexual abuse in a woman’s past, we are expected, on whole, as a society to presume that even the possibility is the actual fact.

Even when the actual fact is disproven, and the fault or choice blatantly falls upon the woman in question, the rationale and after-the-fact absolving of that woman of her own culpability is still expected to take precedence over the actual fault. For example, when I first detailed the situation of the woman and her husband in

For example, when I first detailed the situation of the woman and her husband in Saving the Best the reflex on the part of virtually all women responding to this story (as well as the relinks to it) and most Blue Pill men was to presume she had some damaged past where she was trying to find some emotional connection with the men she was having amateur porn orgies with in her college years. The acceptable, socially reflexive presumption was to give this woman a plausible reason – and one designed to evoke feminine victim sympathy – for her actions rather than consider that she was simply living in the moment and following her Hypergamous imperatives at the time.

Of course, the simple answer was that the husband was put into the same Dead Bedrooms scenario most men in his situation are placed in. He was the dutiful Beta in Waiting and “married a slut who fucks (him) like a prude”. There are over 30,000 subscribers on the dead bedrooms subreddit, this is not an uncommon occurrence, but just as common is the social convention of redirecting the fault on the part of the husband for his ‘selfish concerns’ for ever having been upset by this revelation about his wife. He was the bad guy for feeling ‘underserved’ with regards to his wife’s genuine, unobligated, sexual desire.

He’s the bad guy for not being understanding and supportive of the reflexive rationale that his wife must’ve been damaged goods (and damaged by other, equally horrible, men) before he decided to marry her. He’s responsible for coming to terms with it on his own. So it’s either face that or risk being perceived as the same kind of ‘typical’ asshole man who brought her to this by abandoning her in divorce.

‘Abuse’ as a Tool

‘Abuse’ is easily one of the most generic and utilitarian of catch terms and social conventions available to women living in a feminine-primary social order. It’s ambiguous, but also carries enough associative horror to get others to accept it at face value while killing any need for the uncomfortable explanations that would qualify it. A woman says “I was abused” and it ends the discussion regardless of any mitigating factors or particulars about it – and despite the particulars of what she claims ‘abuse’ to avoid. There simply is no qualifying it. If she feels abused it is abuse, and don’t worsen the situation by asking her to qualify it.

Claims of prior abuse are the perfect tool for women to explain past sexual indiscretions as well as to explain frigidity with a husband or a boyfriend, even those with whom she’d been sexual with before. Needless to say, this is a very useful tool for explaining and excusing women’s Hypergamous impulses and concurrent behaviors, however, I should note that the ‘abuse’ social convention will become less and less tenable as Open Hypergamy becomes more widespread and embraced.

For Beta men – Blue Pill men plugged into the narrative of unqualified female victimhood – there is a very real risk of becoming trapped in a cycle of White Knighting against the evils of ‘typically masculine’ men who would ‘abuse’ his princess while simultaneously reinforcing his Beta status in avoiding the perception of being an ‘abuser’ himself.

Knights Against Abuse

The men and boys I detail in Promise Keepers are prime examples of this looping presumption of abuse. For the most, these men had, or understood that they had, “abusive” fathers whom they swore never to emulate in their adult lives. While that abusiveness may or may not be factual the impression of it is what molds that man’s life, but at the same time predisposes him to the Savior Schema that only cements him into a personal life founded in Blue Pill White Knight heroics.

There develops an internal conflict for these heroes of abuse because their dedication to themselves as their own Mental Point of Origin will always be compromised by a Blue Pill conditioned responsibility of supportiveness for women. For the patient, waiting Beta, the man who’s played by what he believes are the rules for the better part of his teens and 20s, there is a unique anger he experiences when his ‘dream girl’ (or one that closely aligns with that ideal) isn’t sexual with him in the way he’s imagined women are with men during their 20s.

She’s come to him in her Epiphany Phase and after all the sexual indiscretions and self-discovery of her 20s, she finally wants to “do things right” by making him wait to have sex (so he won’t think she’s easy) and when they do it’s inhibited or becomes so once he’s locked into emotional or marital commitment with her. Now add to this the presumption of, or stated account of, ‘abuse’ she’s experienced in the past with the ‘typical’ men she was discovering herself sexually with.

You might even add the child of one of her former ‘abusers’ into the mix with whom he’s expected to form a paternal bond with. That Beta now hates those ‘abusers’ with more passion than when he was brooding about them banging the girls he wanted to fuck in his 20s because they ruin women in both the short and long term to him. They’ve ruined his girl for him now that she’s come to her senses and chosen him to pair with “forever”.

Now she’s a mess, a mess he’s expected to untangle and heal and reconstruct into something resembling the sexual dream girl he’s convinced she used to be, and all because of that “Bro”, the abuser, they guy(s) she had to discover for herself she ‘really didn’t need in her life’.

She’s damaged goods, but to that Beta, she’s blameless in her having been “abused” because she didn’t know any better that ‘typical’ men, the ones she chose, would abuse her. Now their abuses are his problems and he’s reminded of that every time she cries when he initiates sex with her.

The Utility of Damaged Goods

In this context, the social convention that is “abuse” becomes another form of insurance of Hypergamy for women. That presumption of blameless abuse locks Beta providers into a Dream Killers schema to the point that they will prioritize the healing of their ‘abused’ princess, the one who would otherwise be his dream girl, above his own imperatives, aspiration and goals in order to prove his quality as a supporter of women.

For women, the assurances that the social convention of ‘abuse’ represents also comes with a measure of internal conflict. From the Alpha Fucks side of Hypergamy, her subconscious hates the idea of being obligated to fuck her Beta Bucks provider, but again, subconsciously, she needs (or feels she needs) his support, provisioning, and emotional availability. However, for all of his self-evincing support, comfort and emotional investment in being a “better man” than the nebulous ‘abusers’ of her past, those anti-seductive aspects only serve to remind and confirm to her that he ‘doesn’t get it‘ and she’s obligated to be intimate and affectionate in a seemingly genuine way if she’s to maintain the provisional relationship.

The default presumption of ‘abuse’ fills the need for a buffer between reconciling the Hypergamous want of an Alpha lover and the provisional, emotional need for a Beta’s resources and comforts. The DeadBedrooms and MarriedRedPill subredds (not to mention the MMSL forums) are littered with the stories of men who discovered (sometimes secretly) how sexual their ‘abused’ wives were in their Party Years or what their wives’ real sexual appetites were for other men after their divorce.

Now, as I close here, let me state that I’m not discounting the real possibilities of actual cases of abuse among women. I have no doubt I’ll generate a slew of disgruntled comments from women relating their personal tragedies in today’s comment thread, but my point in this essay isn’t to question women’s legitimate claims of abuse. Rather it is to lay bare the utility invested in presuming the legitimacy of abuse whenever a woman even hints at the possibility of it by crying before sex or any number of other behaviors or mental states that would be affirmed or excused by just the claim.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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Tom
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Unrelated question but just your thoughts on Groundhog Day. I just recently saw it again. It seemed to address both the blue pill and red pill perspective. When Bill Murray tried to orchestrate the “perfect date,” things went to shit as all blue pill dates do, but when he was bettering himself, he got the girl. It seems to be a little ironic that when he’s “doing his own thing” he ends up getting the girl which gets him out of his rut of being stuck in the repeating day but at the end “doing his own thing” means getting… Read more »

sudden
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Rollo, this is only tangentially related to the topic at hand, but I am curious how to square the red pill admonishing against white knighting behavior with the rampant sexual assault committed by migrants against native born women in Europe. Do you think the ongoing sexual assault is something the women of Europe have deliberately or subconsciously invited in order to get the tingles of rough, do-what-you-will submission to the other? Or is it more understated than that. I recently heard that in Sweden, the importation of heavily male-skewed unaccompanied minors is so pronounced that among Swedish adolescents there are… Read more »

sudden
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CLARIFICATION: 123 males for every 100 females.

Try as they might they’ll never reach the magnitude my typo suggested.

jamesd127
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unowned women hunger and thirst for their people to be conquered.

Joe
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The problem is that there is a time lag in men. Our SMV peaks much later than women’s SMV. But society is arranged to disguise that. So many men are stuck with the image of the girl as a 19 year old when she looks nothing like that now. What they don”t realize is that they’d be way better off pursuing actual 19 year olds.

The girl would prolly be more receptive if the guy was an actual abuser. Consoling them seems to be a passion killer for them – marks you out as feminine.

Eric Offit
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Sudden: It’s ironic that some “red pill” writers like are actually pushing very blue pill ideas when it comes to “protecting local girls from the incoming bad guys.” They’re White Knights more than White Supremacists. The whole “for the good of society” thing is very K-selected. It’s why Evangelical Christians are ultra conservative and want to stop gene pool mixing. The “invaders” are red pill alpha, r-selected, with a massive drive to spread their DNA. Meanwhile the western world men try to “fight back” on Twitter and their blogs. The bitter truth of red pill is that nature doesn’t care.… Read more »

Megawit
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Although your blog is one of the few with a shrewd understanding of the female psyche, Rollo, I find that your constant ‘us vs. them’ subtext is getting a little tiresome. Your use of extreme examples to explain everyday sexual struggles between women and men just doesn’t compute for me. Where are all these women who use ‘the abuse tool’ as an excuse to not put out? I might have met ONE such woman in my 35 years. One. Also the majority of women do not actually have promiscuous college / teens / 20’s years, that is a distinct group… Read more »

IAS
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The protection against this type of situation – whether the abuse in the woman’s past was real or not – is for the man to keep himself as the mental point of origin. This is even more general, even if “Abuse as a tool” isn’t being used to justify the presence of undesirable behaviors or the absence of desirable behaviors. Selfishness isn’t necessarily bad. If the other person isn’t adding value to your life it is probably time to Next or Ghost or whatever, and don’t get trapped in a sunk cost fallacy. You can’t be responsible for someone else’s… Read more »

Anonymous
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I need sincere help and advice from red pill men, which I’d be really grateful for, and I hope I can find it here, this looks like a very neat site, honest and indeed rational. I will sum up: I’m a woman in her mid-thirties, I have been with my husband for four years, around same age. As you state in this post I am no exception, I had far better sexual partners in the past with whom sex was beyond great, they lusted after me and I lusted after them. The very best one told me he was divorced… Read more »

ace
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Pinelero
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Great article. Growing up I would watch Oprah and Phil D. and they were always blaming men for everything. Typically sympathetic to women’s tears and emotions and uncaring about males. Talks show after talk show for a year and a half I watched these. No cable choices or internet back then. I didn’t know why at the time I was repulsed by these shows. My disgust was manifest towards these shows, because I just knew something was not right. My inexperience with life as young teen did not give me the cushion of wisdom to be able to understand why… Read more »

qsajaq
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Wow… Nailed it. “The utility of abuse”… Quick timeline of my exwife. First six months, she bragged of “having sex in every position” and that she was accustomed to “big dicks”. Six months in, we moved in and the sexual dance changed completely. For the rest of our relationship, before having sex, I HAD to massage her extensively because otherwise she “can’t have sex if I’m not relaxed”. Cue dead bedrooms. Now, I also did not do my fair share to keep attraction, I thought my beta behaviours, earning potential and feminism was plenty. Cue the seperation. She goes off… Read more »

TheLastCoyote
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Watched a documentary recently about The Sopranos tv show. In Season 3 or 4, there’s a show where Ralphie brutally murders his young stripper girlfriend for no good reason, and even his fellow mobsters are disgusted by what he did. In the documentary, the actor who played Ralphie said women started showing a lot more interest in him after that episode aired.

Pay less attention to what women say, pay more attention to what they do.

J.A.F.Y.K.
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@Anonymous 1st, if you’re going to be a regular poster here why not create a proper alias? You know something with a bit of imagination to it. Disclaimer: To the other commenters who are going to be reading this I realize that what I’m about to say will fall under rationalizing with a woman which we generally agree is pointless with regards to sexual arousal/attraction. However, certain points still remain because it would be insulting to a woman to imply she’s beyond reason. I’d also like to add that there’s a degree of doubt to be had in every sob/entitled… Read more »

ace
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Anonymous April 5th, 2016 at 1:54 am How tall are you and how much do you weigh? Did you get – morbidly – obese as so many women do these days after the marriage feast? Why did you get married so late in – a female’s – life…early thirties? “, I had far better sexual partners in the past with whom sex was beyond great, they lusted after me and I lusted after them. The very best one told me he was divorced but he wasn’t, so it all was an awful lot of trouble.” So you used to be… Read more »

SD
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The cognitive dissonance is simple. Women are wired to fuck one type of man primally: it ain’t anyone society considers a “good man”. This conflicts with another piece of internal female wiring: the need to be socially consistent. Society says she should love her husband the way she loves Chad. Biology furiously disagrees. It’s this fundamental conflict which creates a great deal of hamstering and confusion.All the more tragic for women and bluepill men then, as it’s a conflict which cannot be rationalized. A woman can love a man or be committed to him in a socially acceptable Bluepill fashion.… Read more »

J.A.F.Y.K.
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Maybe, it’s the cynic in me but everything seems depressing with the redpill lens on. I find it hard to watch TV shows to watch and movies. The male characters are all betas tip toeing around on egg shells around women. All the women are the lead smart investigators and the men their lap dogs seeking approval. I see everything Rollo talks about played out everyday. @Rollo, from our Sosuave days (if you still remember me). I see you as a mentor/friend. So, I want to take you to task here. I understand you want us to be our own… Read more »

J.A.F.Y.K.
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@SD, I get your point about biology. We are now evolved and not just wild animals running around. Yes, I get some biology is still at play today but that doesn’t excuse a woman for not fucking her “good man” husband. There are days you don’t wanna go to work you do it. Thete are days a man doesn’t feel like providing for an ungrateful wife yet he doesn’t just up an run away. I used to work in a novelty store and lots of women of all ages came through to get toys. I can understand a woman not… Read more »

Striver
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I would say Groundhog Day was mostly Blue Pill. If it was Red Pill Murray’s character would have been able to sleep with Andie McDowell without fixing his internals. He couldn’t. He could sleep with other women using “PUA” tactics (basically finding out what worked with each of them by trial and error) but that never worked with McDowell. I suppose hardcore Red Pill would say something should have worked with McDowell, or the internals wouldn’t have worked either. Maybe would have been a funny ending if he got out of Groundhog Day but she still blew him off. Loading...

LeeLee
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I think what you’re pointing out here is really important and true, but there are a few other things I’d like to add. The problem is that intersectional feminism has introduced a paradigm where victims are granted a very high status, lots of power and respect. Victims are looked at as having higher wisdom than non-victims, this is modern dogma. Victims are thought of as being *especially* worthy of love, especially entitled. But the truth is this: Victims, and I mean real victims — people who have suffered childhood sexual abuse, physical abuse, rape (though that word has lost all… Read more »

stuffinbox
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A redpill boot camp looks like a viable necessity,where men are initiated through withdrawal from electronic devices and encouraged to gain calluses.

Ronin
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In my 61 years the number of women that have admitted to any responsibility for their marriage or relationship ending I can count on two fingers. The ones that played the victim card the most, the abuse they reported was actually what they did to their signifigant other. If a woman tells you she has been raped/abused, wish her the best on her recovery and walk away.

J.A.F.Y.K.
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@Megawit
You’re missing the point. Rollo’s niche is pretty much explaining the various hows and why’s and if you don’t understand the magnitude of how much it’s really been us against them way before Rollo started writing then your eyes may not have been opened to the ugly truth.
You’d be surprised the innocent seeming things women do that is just about us vs them in which they count on men’s ignorance via society’s empowerment to continue to do so. Feel free to keep living the lie.

kfg
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“I agree that the ‘White-knighting’ culture has to stop and we need to man up as males, but women are not the enemy here – it is the society that we have allowed to be built based on feminine imperatives.”

Man: All right, it’s a fair cop, but society is to blame.
Church Policeman: Agreed.

kfg
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“Maybe, it’s the cynic in me but everything seems depressing with the redpill lens on.”

Nah. That’s just what an illusion extraction feels like.

“My reason for bringing this up isn’t so much as me looking for a solution for my exact situation but for you to offer up a starting point . . .”

Learn how to take care of yourself. If you unpack that, you may find that while I am being a bit terse, I am not being flip.

cattaro
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Something about abuse and hypergamy in it raw form…I am 40 y.o and my father is now and he was alwyes an old patriahal man from East Europe. He told me one story but olso tell that he never understud point of that story. Year is about 1950, his vilage somewere in ex Yugoslavia. Some father decide to mery a daughter for some good man. Good man in that time perception. He gave a man his daughter hand a she start living in his house. One night when he had finished his hard work he found his wife siting on… Read more »

cattaro
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Best wishes for the autor of this site, those are some of my first mesages here, but i am reading Rollo’s blog from 2013. I am honest when tell next words…In my contry americans are on the wery low popular scale because they bombard my country in 1999, but I can say for Rollo that he is American with very large A, and I have a GREAT RESPECT for his work.

scribblerg
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@LeeLee – So spot on. I will share later on abuse and recovery, but the damage to self and identity is huge and not dealt with properly in many therapeutic settings. I also want to commend you for brutal honesty and openness, it’s touching. More to come…

Jay-ro
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You often speak of open hypergamy becoming more and more common in the future. If this is true, how do you think feminists, SJWs and white knights are going to react to it? Do you think men will start waking up en masse, swallowing the red pill and improving themselves in order to compete with the pre-made (or pre-enlightened) alphas? Or will they further sink into porn, VR sex and generally give up on women?

stuffinbox
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@ cattaro
I like your fathers story and commend his letting you figure the meaning out for yourself,rather than foolishly explaining it.

rugby11
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“The DeadBedrooms and MarriedRedPill subredds (not to mention the MMSL forums) are littered with the stories of men who discovered (sometimes secretly) how sexual their ‘abused’ wives were in their Party Years or what their wives’ real sexual appetites were for other men after their divorce.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OR98ALamghA
Observation of human behavior…

Craiger247
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Great post Rollo! Another great “abused” scenario/example, has just played out over the last few weeks in the national media and social media world, so this dovetails perfectly into this gist of this article… …for those of you who don’t know the backstory, it was the Kyrie Irving/Kehlani situation. Kyrie Irving is a player for an NBA team, the Cleveland Cavaliers…anyways, he was dating this Kehlanie girl who is a low level R&B singer, and with many tabloid and social media posts/sightings over the last few months, their relationship became public, thus making her a social media star. Kehlani weeks… Read more »

Ang Aamer
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“Now, as I close here, let me state that I’m not discounting the real possibilities of actual cases of abuse among women.” Actually you can discount possibilities. We all have heard of the 20% of college girls are sexually assaulted. http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/article/2014/may/02/are-20-percent-women-sexually-assaulted-they-gradu/ Let me quote: “The origins of the stat According to WomensHealth.gov, “sexual assault can be verbal, visual, or anything that forces a person to join in unwanted sexual contact or attention.” Offenses range from inappropriate touching to forcible rape.” I a boy on the dance floor touches a girl on the ass… it’s included in this 20%. If a… Read more »

Fred Flange, Authorized Protest Zone Pemit #333
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For those just tuning in: be advised that most radio people are somewhat damaged, if broadcasting is their main line of work. Don’t expect them to have much a of personality at all, let alone a pleasant one, or a spine. Never mind how I know this, or for how long I’ve known. Those people in radio who are reasonably well-adjusted do not do it for a living, it’s for gas money or shits and giggles. The “add a woman co-host” is a radio programming fad which exists nationwide. No matter how red-pill the host may have seemed at first,… Read more »

Anonymous
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Hi first of all thank you for the people who cared to answer even though I’m a woman. OK I’m not going to say anything about that, I know what this site is, I’m not asking help at a best girlfriends’ magazine, and I also assumed most of you wouldn’t want to even talk to me. I respect that because that’s an option. So thank you for those of you who cared to answer. @J.A.F.Y.K. I’m answering your questions first, thanks for your reply (and I also agree that one cannot rationalise attraction, but I really want help… really need… Read more »

Driver
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I have to say that you cannot take a woman at her word for being “abused” today because the definition of abuse (by women) is ridiculous (it’s similar to the definition of the word “rape” being changed by young women). Women, often, embellish whenever they are telling their side of the story. You’ll never hear about how a woman started the fight, became violent and a man had to take action only to protect himself (maybe leaving her with a bruise as a result). Many of these women are truly damaged goods. Find out as much as you can about… Read more »

Ponce du Lion
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All women are damaged goods aside of “abuse”. Because no one is suitable for marriage. She has been made herself soulless via multiplayer butthex sessions. Only a beta buy the lie that this is not a damaged asset, physically and mentally. Sore assholes and dried dried gynas are always bad goods because after the parade of c*cks a betaLTR fate is boring bedroom.
The best investment you can do is not purchase them in the long term. And hope that artificial wombs come soon for that.

Ponce du Lion
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Dead bedroom = x degree of spatio-temporal cuck= she isn’t abiding the one cock rule.

Driver
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@Pinelero…regarding those daytime shows (Oprah, Dr. Phil) and advice on marriage problems The problems with those shows is that they always brought on the partners of the marriage (man and woman), discussed the issues but in the end they would feed the man to their audience (mostly all women). They would discuss the problems in the marriage, would touch on the woman’s side of the issue (for 2 mins) and for the remaining 48 mins they would hang the man out to dry. This reason is why so many men who grew up before all of this information was available… Read more »

scribblerg
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@Anonymous – Can you answer a question for me? Why did you marry this man? Was the sexual interest non-existent from the start? The endless video gaming? Or did it change? I can’t imagine he went from a sexual lothario and fully realized man to this immature, gaming, porn addicted man-child. So….I’m going to venture a guess at what’s really going on for you. He looked like you “Beta with a side of Alpha” dude and you thought he would “do” as a stand in. But you were lane changing from just getting lovers to also wanting a provider. When… Read more »

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Living in a Blue Pill fairy tale environment softened me to the point I found learning game and swallowing the Red Pill difficult. I’ve become more discriminating in the women I chose to keep in my life. If they’re not chasing, doing things, fucking me….I disappear. I think popular media, films, tv series all suggest to guys to just hang in there…But that gives all the power and decision-making to the woman. Red Pill is about recognizing female behaviours and understanding them in the context of what is best for you. Being a people pleaser is self-destructive. Being a “White… Read more »

Matatan
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Matatan
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@Anonymous, If you no longer want to fuck him then leave him. It will be the best thing that ever happens to him. He will be in shock and move his ass and get a grip on himself. Of course he will not return to you but start pursuing pussy. Right now you are just using him, and at some point you will fuck another guy if you haven’t already. If he finds out there’s no telling what he will do. But you can be sure that people will end up hurt psychologically and possibly physically. So do the right… Read more »

hoellenhund2
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You often speak of open hypergamy becoming more and more common in the future. If this is true, how do you think feminists, SJWs and white knights are going to react to it?

That’s the wrong question to ask. They aren’t reacting to it, they are driving it and legitimizing it.

HowlingManTodd
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An article for Rollo’s brain to chew on. To me, it seems like the author is seeing some of the world’s Red Pill truths poking out (eg the video where no one consoles a crying man in public), but his response is Purple Pill (men need support centers, but also need to be “emotionally honest” [gag])

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/10/education/edlife/teaching-men-to-be-emotionally-honest.html

thepatriotblogspot
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@Anonymous…..I have to agree with one of the other commenters here. Put up a profile to go along with who you are….unless you’re not wanting hubby to possibly figure out who you are….if it’s that, then that’s cool. You mentioned that you are trapped financially because of “investments” he has made to your house. If it’s your house, and your name is on the mortgage, then it is still YOUR house. Nothing is going to change that legally. Depending on which state you live in, he could potentially be awarded monies for what he has spent, but I just can’t… Read more »

Fred Flange, Authorized Protest Zone Pemit #333
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Fred Flange, Authorized Protest Zone Pemit #333
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I see the NY Times article highlights the man-hating Mr. Man, Michael Kimmel. Since in his studied academic view all masculinity (as we know it) is toxic, he has no answers, just shaming retorts. Nothing in the course syllabus is men don’t know how to behave as men when they’ve been indoctrinated that any way they might naturally be inclined to behave is violent, misogynistic, and problematically cisheterosexist. Which includes achieving academically! That might make women feel marginalized by broculture. So why be a Try Hard? That’s toxically man-ist. Best to sit back and let the gals have it for… Read more »

IAS
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IAS
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@Scribblerg: if you do a quick google of partner count chart you get some. This is my favorite one as it has 4 charts in a single picture:

comment image

scribblerg
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Re: Abuse. I suffered horrendous physical abuse as a child. My Dad actually was the “Terroristic Abuser” archetype. As LeeLee described, one’s very sense of self gets warped as you learn to be who ever you have to be to avoid the abuse. Your entire world is dominated by the abuser and your own development as a human being becomes stunted and warped. Another pernicious effect is becoming hypervigilant, meaning that you end up always on edge in any relationship, always on the alert for someone abusing you. It can turn into oppositional problems and manifests as having a hair-trigger.… Read more »

sudden
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@Eric Offit I do think you nailed it when you said “The bitter truth of red pill is that nature doesn’t care. The strongest genes will win.” What my post is trying to get to is how a man who finds himself among the wreckage of modern Europe with such a heavily skewed male to female ratio is to do in order to have the strongest genes, as the horribly skewed sex ratio assures that a significant percentage of men in modern Europe will be the last generation of their genetic line. It seems that the expectations and punishments that… Read more »

TuffLuv
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“In almost every social infraction we are expected to presume a blameless state with women.” In almost every legal situation as well. And especially in divorce court. I was absolutely amazed that the courts pretend to have no concept of the fact that a 20 year marriage might have a few tense moments. For the woman, this is golden leverage. She pulled out all the stops, and falsely accused me of everything under the sun. Every (true) infraction that had occurred was embellished 10-fold. The only lie she left out was rape, and I’m quite certain that during our 2-month… Read more »

Héctor
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http://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/10/education/edlife/teaching-men-to-be-emotionally-honest.html Comments are gold mine. “You are kidding yourself if you think girls and women only want to date jocks and it is a sexist and misogynistic put-down of women to even make such a generalization. As a woman who also communicates with a lot of other women, the reality is that few women with IQs greater than 110 and virtually no women with IQs over 120 want to have anything to do with jocks. Intelligent women want intelligent men. And if you look around, you will also notice that women like musicians and artists and writers. Indeed, when I… Read more »

Pinelero
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@ScribblerG 8:26 comment; Insightful Red Pill diagnosis. She would never get that honesty anywhere else.

sudden
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@Rollo I had read your war brides of Europe post when it dropped a few months back, and I think the analysis is spot on within it. But I think there’s a lot more to unpack on this issue than what was addressed there. Admittedly, I didn’t wade through all of the comments so I don’t know if these other issues were unpacked in the thread that followed the article. In fact, the thing that struck me was that the overarching discovery of red pill philosophy and the very aspect of the feminine imperative that you most address, open hypergamy,… Read more »

scray
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“For example, when I first detailed the situation of the woman and her husband in Saving the Best the reflex on the part of virtually all women responding to this story (as well as the relinks to it) and most Blue Pill men was to presume she had some damaged past where she was trying to find some emotional connection with the men she was having amateur porn orgies with in her college years. The acceptable, socially reflexive presumption was to give this woman a plausible reason – and one designed to evoke feminine victim sympathy – for her actions… Read more »

Masculinity and Wisdom
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Referring to single mothers and sluts as ‘damaged’ or ‘used goods’ is a great way to viscerally strike fem-centric folks at their core. It’s fun, and at the same time fascinating because I imagine that before the 1960s degenerate revolution, using this kind of terminology would have been rather run of the mill, so to speak.

eeeeeeeeeee
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eeeeeeeeeee
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an ex of mine had been abused by her father and then had a series of toxic relationships, she was also “raped” by some bro after getting wasted at a college party. i’m not a chad but i was pretty fucking alpha with her, in fact she would regularly tell me how i had a virile masculine energy and how it made her all tingly inside, was practically worshiping my nuts. 2 months into the relationship she shit tested me to hell. don’t try to turn a hoe into a housewife.

Megawit
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@ J.A.F.Y.K & Rollo

But the constant ‘us vs them’ subtext implies that it is some kind of fight, when women, replete with all their hindbrain agenda, should be approached as one approaches a child who is not able to make rational decisions for themselves – with careful authority. Take the decision making process away from them and ignore any bullsh+t.
That is the humane thing to do.
No conflict needed.
No more us vs. Them.

True redpill implies that you don’t even enter into any struggle or conflict.

scribblerg
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@MegaNitWit – Yeah, Zen that shit out man. It’s not as though social conditioning and conventions suppress male agency. and creates an actual false consciousness for men, and that the major social institutions of our society enforce these paradigms. There is no actual conflict going on, it’s just smooth as silk out there.

Namaste, you imbecilic hump.

theasdgamer
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@ “Anonymous”

Send your hubby “The Rational Male” book anonymously (from “a girl friend of your wife” who wants him to know what she can’t tell him directly).

having a bad day
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having a bad day
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@Rollo

redundant sentence 3 paras after ‘presuming abuse’ header…

Sentient
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Sentient
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Scribbs

Your right in your post to Megawit (society etc.)… but his point is still worth adopting…

Stay in your frame but accept women as they are and enjoy it as a feature not a bug. Lower conflict, more control.

It’s sexier too…

scribblerg
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@Sentient – Confusing an analysis of intersexual strategies with a personal POV and frame is not interesting, it’s moronic. I grow weary of being lectured at by such sophists preening about their BS. To think Rollo is trapped in some kind of conflict dyad is to not understand the Red Pill at all…

Sentient
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Sentient
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We stay in the traps we make…

scribblerg
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Amy Schumer Gets Apology From Glamour For Featuring Her In Plus-Size Issue…I couldn’t help but laugh like a hyena at this. Lol, fucking Amy Schumer can’t even be praised for being a chunky bitch when she just posed on the Pirelli calendar as a chubster as a slap at men. Talk about having it both ways, nonstop.
http://www.gossipcop.com/amy-schumer-apology-glamour-plus-size-issue/

http://images.foodworldnews.com/data/thumbs/full/49546/620/0/0/0/amy-schumer.jpg

leeleeinbabylon
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leeleeinbabylon
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@scribblerg — thanks for sharing so openly about your dad. It is insanely frustrating when you have to work 3x as hard as everyone else to simply be a normal person and you still aren’t quite there. At least for me. The thing about my dad is that he wasn’t a horrible person at all, that’s what I’m realizing now that I have some distance. In a lot of ways he’s an amazing, brilliant person who definitely went into the process of having a family wanting to build something good and be a part of something beautiful. His problem was… Read more »

MikeV
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MikeV
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The bottom line for a man is NEVER accept a damaged woman, ever. Whether from “abuse”, divorce, mental illness, lack of good moral character, white trash upbringing it doesn’t matter. Nothing ruins a man’s life like a damaged woman. If she’s not enthusiastically fucking him, routinely, he should punt. There are millions and millions of loving, available, and sexually enthusiastic woman out there. There are no special snowflakes. Don’t waste your time on one.

leeleeinbabylon
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@Rollo, the woman as weaker sex as a benefit thing made sense in a society where women literally were the weaker sex — a civilized, or at least a Christian society doesn’t humiliate it’s vulnerable, subordinated members. In a context where women have no legal rights or protections, giving them a little extra consideration as the weaker sex kind of lifts everyone up and makes it work, at least if I’m understanding what you’re talking about correctly. But I don’t think we’ve ever seen a situation like we have now. People used to make a pretense of being from a… Read more »

Blaximus
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@ Rollo –

Once again, great piece. Naturally there will be gnashing of teeth and rending or garments because some people won’t get the utility thought.

zfg, of course.

Good information for men to understand and give thought to.

I dug it immensely.

cheupez
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At the risk o sounding like a white knight: society does not take care of younger women as it did. It is a set up. The younger women really do not know any better. Neither do younger men. The ladies have a point here. They do. Young women get crunked up and full of beer; some women get fucked up. It is our fault as much as it is theirs. The other day a girl told me: “When girls are sober, they care a lot who has the money, but when they get drunk all they care is what a… Read more »

scribblerg
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@LeeLee – Yeah, it’s a trick to get to the point where you can see your abuser as a human being but still hold him/her accountable. In my case, the violence was profound. I literally thought my Dad might kill me and my siblings growing up. He died two years ago, and when my bro and i were together for Christmas he shared with me that he felt “safer” since our Dad was dead and that it was very strange. I did too. Get that this bro is 6’2″, benches 375 at 59 and has been an official badass in… Read more »

scray
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@cheup

“At the risk o sounding like a white knight: society does not take care of younger women as it did. It is a set up. The younger women really do not know any better. Neither do younger men. The ladies have a point here. They do.”

the problem is society and the top-down rules and conditioning, generally. esp the outright lies.

no one can have it all.

scray
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@leelee

“But I don’t think we’ve ever seen a situation like we have now. People used to make a pretense of being from a *good* family, a good background, because this is what conferred social power. Now people, or at least women, make a pretense of exactly the opposite because it’s exactly the opposite that now confers social power.”

never experienced this

ive always thought it a positive when a girl comes from a rich/good/trad family and a negative otherwise….

thedeti
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@ Rollo: “She’s come to him in her Epiphany Phase and after all the sexual indiscretions and self-discovery of her 20s, she finally wants to “do things right” by making him wait to have sex (so he won’t think she’s easy) and when they do it’s inhibited or becomes so once he’s locked into emotional or marital commitment with her. Now add to this the presumption of, or stated account of, ‘abuse’ she’s experienced in the past with the ‘typical’ men she was discovering herself sexually with. *** “She’s damaged goods, but to that Beta, she’s blameless in her having… Read more »

Pellaeon
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@Cheupez

I think you still have some unplugging to do. Women are fully capable of using logic and making a a legitimate point when it aligns with their own interests. The trick is to take note of how quickly that logic disappears once it no longer aligns with their interests, and how easy it is to WANT to side with a woman once she gets emotional.

Dat Gynocentrism in action…

fleezer
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“no one can have it all.”

that doesn’t sound like Scray.

if anyone can have it all it’s definitely a man

fleezer
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“the sex she had was “bad””

odds are it was. average piv lasts 5 minutes. lol.

real Chads are rare. if you happen to be one you’ll get offers that will confirm everything that’s been said about hypergamy

majority of girls don’t marry real Chad. can we really blame them for crying before they have to do it with beta brad?

I’d probably cry if I was in any way obligated to do it with Blamy Schumer

Blaximus
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@ leelee, ” @Rollo, the woman as weaker sex as a benefit thing made sense in a society where women literally were the weaker sex — a civilized, or at least a Christian society doesn’t humiliate it’s vulnerable, subordinated members. In a context where women have no legal rights or protections, giving them a little extra consideration as the weaker sex kind of lifts everyone up and makes it work, at least if I’m understanding what you’re talking about correctly. But I don’t think we’ve ever seen a situation like we have now. People used to make a pretense of… Read more »

fleezer
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whoa.

look at that thing’s hands.

they can cut a guy’s balls off, give him tits, put him in a wig, paint his face…

but I guess there’s no surgery to shrink the man hands. so fucking gross.

scribblerg
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@Fleezer – Gun to your head, it’s fuck Schumer or Cait – who do you fuck?

Sun Wukong
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@scrib

Gun to your head, it’s fuck Schumer or Cait – who do you fuck?

Is giving a .45ACP a blowjob an option? Because that would be my choice.

Agent P
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^^^^^What Sun said, that was my choice.
at least with Cait you could talk Sports, Schumer would just be snarky boner killer. Uggh.

And that fucking NYT article, the bullshit is piled so high you need wings to stay above it. That having been said, there are definite cracks showing in the “The narrative” a lot of the comments are hard core RP without even knowing what RP is. The whole make men into better women and women into better men things is just not holding up to real life scrutiny for many.

kfg
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kfg
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” . . . Schumer would just be snarky boner killer.”

That’s why God invented duct tape.

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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Lol.

stuffinbox
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stuffinbox
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The trouble with the white knight savior schema is,typically an abused person seeks out another abusive relationship,over and over again,until they are able to see their own part in the abuse and stop the cycle.Very few white knights if any will be able to survive this relationship without becoming abusive in some way themselves. I am reminded of two women that came to my shop to have a door glass replaced,they made it known that they were living in a top secret battered woman’s shelter,for their safety.One of them made a pass at me,I pointed out my ring to witch… Read more »

stuffinbox
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@kfg
I like the gorilla tape from ace hardware.

Forge the Sky
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Forge the Sky
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@Rollo re: OP So basically, a claim of ‘abuse’ works to smooth over any glitches in the matrix. Anytime a women isn’t acting in a way the bluepill lens says she should act, we can claim she was abused and this accounts for the discrepancy. Whether she’s being too sexual, not sexual enough, or sexual with the ‘wrong sort’ of guy or in the ‘wrong’ way, we can frame the whole thing as – or as a product of – abuse from men forcing her to behave in that manner. This plausible deniability thing really starts to look like a… Read more »

scribblerg
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Re: Cait or Schumer – Very tough call. It depends. If I Schumer likes it really rough and wouldn’t call the cops, I would beat her mercilessly and only get hard once she was crying and begging me to stop, and then I’d only do her in the ass. But since Schumer would likely call the cops, I’d fuck Cait in the ass 7 days a week and twice on Sunday before I’d stick it in Schumer as she’s repulsive as a human being to me on every level. At least Cait was an Olympic gold medal winner, that would… Read more »

stuffinbox
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@scrib
Attempt an aerial fornication directed to an oscillating pasty.

stuffinbox
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stuffinbox
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Pastry

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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I really like Deti’s take. How many times have you heard ” I really shouldn’t…” before engaging in some pretty mind blowing sex? “… I usually don’t do things like this..” What’s hard to gauge is what will her afterthought(s) be. What will they be 6 months from now. A year. Hell, a decade. Will you become a retroactive abuser? This is a poignant post because ” abuse ” is such a wide spread phenomenon now. Last night on a blustery ride home, I tried avoiding the conversation regarding Greg Hardy of NFL notoriety. Although I am a lifelong Cowboy… Read more »

PlatinumJ
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@stuffinbox
“I am reminded of two women that came to my shop to have a door glass replaced”

I recently replaced a windshield that had been beaten in with a baseball bat. The female owner had no idea why her car had been targeted… She smelled like a combination of seafood, cocaine, and old cum. She paid $250 with ones, fives, and tens. Lol.

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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She don’t lie, she don’t lie, she don’t liieeee…..

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