The Best of Rational Male – Year One

The Best of Rational Male – Year One

The Basics

Plate Theory





Social Conventions


Iron Rules of Tomassi


The Feminine Imperative

If you have any other favorites that really spoke to you, but didn’t make my list, please link them and tell me how it helped.

111 comments on “The Best of Rational Male – Year One

  1. I, single guy, was just turned on to your site by a good married friend of mine. I know he wishes sites like this existed pre-marriage for him. 😉 Great site! Please keep up the good work.

  2. I’m not one to leave comments but for a website that has changed my life, I would have to make an exception. Thank you so much for these mind blowing pieces of work. Keep them coming

  3. Wow! I just read all this in the space of 48 hours and it has really opened my eyes thank you!

  4. Haha, totally convinced about the greatness of the ‘alpha male’ as all a woman ever wants. Well, the ‘alpha male’ is not much more then a woman’s disposable tampon. Easy to use, easy to dump. The ‘beta male’ is more difficult, as he is more interested in depth in relationships and something long term and love and love is a scary thing. So yes the beta gets less pussy but pussy is not his main interest anyway his main interest is the depth of the connection he can have with being with a woman.

  5. I’m quite happy that a guy like this didn’t found your blog in his younger years and decided to spend his time in the gym and start some business and earn lots of money just so he could fuck woman. He shines much brighter as he is now:

    I think the vision most people on this blog on what a man should be is very limited and narrow minded.

  6. mr wazimbo,
    Haha, totally convinced about the greatness of the ‘alpha male’ as all a woman ever wants.

    Read the blog more carefully. AF/BB. Rollo never states that women only want AF.
    Well, the ‘alpha male’ is not much more then a woman’s disposable tampon. Easy to use, easy to dump.
    Captain Obvious!? You’re alive!

    The ‘beta male’ is more difficult, as he is more interested in depth in relationships and something long term and love and love is a scary thing.

    Different doesn’t always means difficult. Competing in other field. Just like you can’t compare soccer with basketball.

    So yes the beta gets less pussy but pussy is not his main interest anyway his main interest is the depth of the connection he can have with being with a woman.

    If he doesn’t have problem with that woman constantly, cheating on him – yeah sure why not. Also, why not raise his kids on the way?

    More quotes –
    I’m quite happy
    He shines much brighter
    I think the vision most people on

    A lot of opinions you have here. Care to start your own blog? It seems this post would be much more relevant there.

  7. Yes, I have opinions. No opinions allowed in a reply? I have more opinions: Like that all this differation between man and woman doesn’t make so much sense. People are complex mixtures of conventions, backgrounds, hormones, genes, brain chemistry, education, skills, affected by social environments etc. etc. and that makes up a Person. Why talk so much about ‘man’ and ‘woman’ Man should be like this, woman are like that, bla bla. Well guess what, what might work on one person might not work at all on an other. Why talk about games, competition, winning, losing, scoring? Why not talk about chemestry, love, being on the same ‘wavelenght’ and love for a person?

    I also get the feeling that ‘woman’ are being demonized and downgraded in this whole manosphere community…just becauze some people got kicked in the nuts some times. Well my advice would be to just enjoy falling on your face from time to time. It’s not only woman who can kick you in the nuts, it’s People.

  8. Quote 1:
    Differation between man and woman doesn’t make so much sense

    Since we both agree that this is an opinion – why don’t you prove your point? If you don’t understand it, it doesn’t mean it is wrong.

    Quote 2:
    People are complex mixtures of conventions, backgrounds, hormones, genes, brain chemistry, education, skills, affected by social environments etc. etc. and that makes up a Person.

    Yes they are, and when generalizing you should always be aware of that. But in studying dogs, one may assume all of them hear better than they see. Generally. And this is the reasoning behind the generalizations about man and woman.

    Quote 3:
    what might work on one person might not work at all on an other.

    Yes, and if it was the case here, this blog would be useless. But it isn’t.

    Quote 4:
    Why talk about games, competition, winning, losing, scoring? Why not talk about chemestry, love, being on the same ‘wavelenght’ and love for a person?

    Because the the first half of your list is working for most men. The second isn’t. Again, if something doesn’t work it will not be used.

    Quote 5:
    I also get the feeling that ‘woman’ are being demonized and downgraded in this whole manosphere community.

    Feelings are good. They just cannot be used as arguments. The way you feel is not the way most woman, that I show this blog to, feel.

    Quote 6:
    Well my advice would be to just enjoy falling on your face from time to time.

    No thank you. But go for it.

    Quote 7:
    It’s not only woman who can kick you in the nuts, it’s People.

    Yes, but while we manage to understand the one half of people and the reasons for their betrayal, this blog helps us to understand the other half.

  9. Hey Everyone,

    Long time AFC, first time Alpha.

    I just want to say, I’ve grown to love the community. You guys are amazing.

    I also have something I hope you guys can help.

    To keep it short, a while back (5 months), I became reacquainted with an old friend, who used to be the girlfriend of my old friend, up until he cheated on her; or so she told me.

    Fast forward, we meet up for drinks on the basis of catching up and we ended up making out, which ultimately led to us getting out in my car. Things were going great but as soon as I reached second base, she stopped and told me, not “let’s be friends”, but “let’s take it slow”.

    I hope someone can explain the psychology of her mind by that statement.

    I understand the lack of context is not helpful but do what you can.

    Best regards,


    1. To get a better answer you should probably go to red pill reddit.
      There is not enough info on her, so “probably” will become a star here. As far as I see it:
      She reconnected with you 5 month ago.
      Probably she has been checking her “surroundings” for some time. You are (most probably) one of her “cash in” pool. Of course you don’t know that. Probably she is in her epiphany right about now and on the lookout for the best BB she can find. This should be apparent to you because “when she wants to fuck you – she will”. But she didn’t. I’m sorry mate, but it seems to me you are not enough “Alpha” for her.

      Here are some things you should refresh in your head, read in order:

  10. Hi Rollo,

    I’m a dedicated follower of the Rational Male blog for cca 1 year now and I’ve got your paperbacks as well. Your insights have completely changed my life… for the better, and I’ve directed several friends to your site for advice too. But, unfortunately, not all of them speaks english well enough to be able to read your articles.

    So I’m thinking about translating your books to my native language. I’m a good and experienced translator, I’ve translated professional texts as well as literature. I have MA in philosophy but I work in the IT industry now. I’m quite educated in psychology too.

    How could we start a private discussion about the possibility of translating your books to my native language and publishing it as an e-book, for example? (I don’t think it’d make sense to publish it in paperback form, as my language is spoken only by cca 15M people worldwide.)


    PS: I agree to almost every word that you have put down so far, except one minor thing: IMHO you’re quite unfair with C. G. Jung. By saying that every man’s soul has a feminine part (the anima) that he should accept and integrate doesn’t mean that he should become less masculine and more feminine! To the contrary! He says that you have to come to terms with your anima in order to AVOID being uncounciously overcome by and getting controlled by it! IMHO C. G. Jung would never call today’s pro-feminist manboobs men who have successfully integrated their anima. He would call them men who have a serious mental disorder that he called anima-possession. Anima-possession occurs when someone is unable to integrate his anima into his healthy, masculine self, but lets it take control of him… either by pushing it down into the uncounscious or by missing the opportunity to develop a healthy, masculine self. 🙂

  11. I’m in the same boat as many other men that have commented on your blog. I’m in the military, and had a somewhat “invincible” mindset for years. That is until a very disgusting end to an LTR completely shattered me. I was searching for answers and saw a link to your blog. I spent 10 hours straight reading anything that caught my eye. I just finished reading The Rational Male, and I’m looking forward to Preventive Medicine.

    Thank you for sharing your insights with us. I’m new to the community and facing my own blue pill conditioning head on everyday. Your thoughts and how you convey them make using my eyes “for the first time” more like following a path, instead of wandering through a dark forest. Can’t thank you enough, and keep up the great work.

  12. I am, Rollo 🙂 Couldn’t it be an idea to make a page with all posts grouped by year? As is now we’ll have to dig through them all except the ones you chose to be the best.
    I would love a complete list so that I can see which ones I haven’t read yet.
    Thanks brother. Keep it up!

  13. Hello everyone and Rollo. I am just finishing your book preventive medicine. I am female I should add although I hope that fact doesn’t change the answer to your question. I’m really interested in MRAs and the related dialog he, and am aware of Esther Villar ‘s opinion of women like me. In the book you mention that women love opportunistically (I apologize if that’s not a real word) and that women first love what the man is as a prerequisite to who a man is. You also mention that men “love for love’s sake” and this is what differs how men and women love. I am wondering if someone is able to explain what love for love’s sake means and what it is about women that men love, or think they love. Apart from the fact that men expect and hope for women to be innocent and undirty when it comes to sex. Knowing now that women have a planned agenda for as to why they get into monogamous relationships and marriage, I’d like insight on why men do it. Also, do you think there is such a thing as an Alpha female and Beta female, or are they women who are unable to relate to the stereotypes in the book and posts simply in denial for whatever reason? Thanks everyone.

  14. I’ve made typos, sorry, I have the flu my brain feels a bit heavy. I meant to say answer to my question. Not yourself. Thank you.

  15. Rollo. Your blogs, videos,and, most of all, your book has helped me to finally unplug and see things for what they are. I feel smarter and more self aware now. I’ve begun to take some more time out of my life to focus on my passions, not for women, but for myself and I’ve never felt more determined. Be that for what it is (nothing short of revolutionary), I still can’t get a date to follow through. The hot ones always cancel last second and I don’t know exactly why. I know it’s something I’m either doing or not doing but I still have a hard time getting to the bottom of it. What compels them to say yes in the first place? What, in a general sense, might be some signs that the date is counterfeit?

  16. I keep coming back to this important idea: “desire cannot be negotiated”

    You do a good job discussing men in LTR’s attempting to rekindle attraction through misguided attempts to properly align himself with his woman, which of course only leads to failure and further frustration.

    But this also has important ramifications for physically unattractive men such as myself. When I analyse my previous actions and mistakes, I realize how much of what I did was motivated by a desire to preserve my ego and skip over this fundamental principle. So many bluepill rationalizations and strategies for winning over the women I liked revolved around denying my unattractiveness and attempting to minimize it’s importance for generating interest (and getting sex, to be blunt).

    Since my “unplugging,” I’ve saved so much time and energy by not pursuing women who were clearly not attracted to me (and in some cases repulsed). I had to learn this: NO amount of courting, hanging out, listening, befriending, gift-buying, or favor-doing will EVER spark that genuine desire which is the precursor for any success. That sucks to swallow when you are physically low-SMV, and I’m sure it’s one of the reasons that redpill men so frequently recommend weightlifting (among many other benefits).

    In the end, I’m wondering about what that baseline for desire is (generally) and how quickly it is established. I’m assuming that it is a very quick physical assessment, with the option to lower considerably if any beta traits are displayed. I’m also assuming that physicality trumps behavior most of the time (a short, overweight man who behaves like the alpha will skunk out more frequently than the tall jacked dude who acts like a bitch). What are your thoughts on this, and the importance of having a baseline of mutual physical attraction in general (this aspect has always been minimized and dismissed by culture and by well-meaning friends)?

  17. Rollo, I think a lot of your writing is insightful and useful, while often motivated by pain.. For a man to have to manipulate women into thinking they are something, implies they are already unworthy of love.
    I feel inflicting violence onto others for personal gain is worrying when put in the hands of (perhaps) unloved (real, deep love). I’m very interested in pyschology, and it seems, of all the red pillers you are one of the maturest, i would love to have a discussion about how love and compassion can still be achieved while maintaining ‘enlightened self interest’. I would recommend 2 books that would improve the communication capacity of men perhaps more than techniques on here are ‘the art of loving’ and ‘nonviolent communication’. I feel like a lot of red pillers are so invested in their new identity of power from red pill that they are quick to reject any discussion from ‘frustrated chumps ‘ and ‘beta losers’ which may be keeping men from actualising their potential with women. I appreciate your time.

  18. Hello Robert. I’m not going to answer for Rollo, but perhaps this will help you to understand red pill men a little more.
    I admit that I haven’t read those books, however it seems only logical that in order for any of these techniques to work both parties have to come to an agreement that from now on they both are going to utilize these strategies of mutual respect and compassion for their mutual benefit.
    Because if one of them will not it will end up with one party listening and trying hard to find a compromise while the other will simply put out demands without reciprocating, and what’s important, she (the “other” partner) will do it without understanding what sacrifices the (men) other side does.
    Therefore, a man that utilizes this kind of strategy has to
    1. Waste his time in a search for a woman who already is on the same page as he is,
    2. Waste his time trying to educate a woman into this strategy of mutual cooperation.

    This is what most MRA and purple pill are doing.

    Still it makes men vulnerable to a swift change of woman’s mind:
    As of today, mutual cooperation is mostly not beneficial to women. This is why we see “divorce rape”. People will always choose maximum benefit with minimum losses and women are not stupid. The only times where they won’t do it, is because they were lied to. Such as man that enter a marriage agreement or co-habitation, actually believe that it is profitable for them in some way.

    So in the beginning even if you find such a “unicorn” or create one yourself, the moment she sees an opportunity to significantly maximize her hypergamy (take your wealth or cuck you) she will do it. Simply because unlike men who will face harsh penalty for any misbehavior in relationship, she will not. Go check dead bedrooms or confessions on reddit to get a glimpse of what women will get away with.

    TRP however is designed to trigger woman natural selection mechanisms. Not to deceive her, but trigger her body. Comparing this to lying or aggression is like blaming a sweet-tooth simply for wanting sweets. Just like a person can overcome his natural taste preferences to fatty and sweet food, the woman is capable to understand her body and overcome her love for “jerks”.

    No offence.
    Tegra Morgan.

  19. I just finished reading the best of year one and i just want to say thank you Mr. Rollo. The information on this site is mind blowing and really helped me so far deal with red pill rage after i listened to an audio book version of the manipulated man by Ester Vilar. I plan buying your book and the 48 laws of power. I wont go too much into my story but i am a 36 year old male who was a hardcore beta in a LTR and im now learning to be an alpha and regain my freedom.

  20. I just wanted to say Thank you from my heart and soul for writing this book . It definitely was a tough read but I couldn’t put it down . I’m definitely going to be a better man because of this. I can feel it already . In one word I can sum up how I feel that I never felt before : Vindicated.

  21. Rollo – our company makes a medical device which lowers anxiety, and has been used with success by many clients to treat performance anxiety – I thought this would be of interest. My cell is 917 912 0629 if you’d like further details. Yours, Chip Fisher, President

  22. Hey Rollo. I have to say I feel the same way about you as I do about Tom Leykis when I first discovered him. You’re awesome and I read your first book. Not one inch of fat in your book. It’s all muscle. Anyways, starting the second book now and I’m sure I’ll love that too. Great work!

  23. I have all three books, I am on the first one. Let me tell you…. the little bit of stuff I been reading have been REALLY leading me to enlightened self-interest and having those “ah-ha!” moments. I am completely shocked that I did not learn of these things sooner. But the good part is what I read by far, I am able to build on what I already have naturally. And it is really FREEING rather than having fear of losing one girl or whatever. Way too long I have made this horrible mistake but I been working on this for the past month and I have seen results of what it does and it is awesome. Thanks for the website and the books.

  24. Thank you for providing these lists for the first five years of the blog. I’ve been collecting all of them (archiving, really, just in case); do you plan on every making something similar for the following years, or no?

  25. I am a 60 yo man in exceptional shape who looks 40. I’m twiced divorce and have decided that I don’t want to get married again.
    I easily attract 30 somethings and go on dates but the problem is I keep getting put in the friend zone. After reading this book I finally figured out what I was doing wrong.
    After making a few adjustments I can see an immediate impact.

    Thanks Rollo

  26. So i have this question that I have been thinking about as i go through the book. Since this book was written 6 years ago a lot of things have changed in the social world. The main thing being the rise of activity on two social media platforms: Snapchat and Instagram. Does anyone have any advice that relates to intergender dynamics when it comes to social media? (youtube links, articles, videos, etc…) I find myself following attractive girls on instagram, DMing them, getting their snapchat, etc. Is this the way to use this platform? Should i ignore the convenience of communication that these platforms offer and just focus on face to face game? I feel like intergender dynamics gets very complex when it comes to social media platforms.

    Anyways if you have any comments or advice for me i would GREATLY appreciate it. Thanks!

    1. I hate online game but if you wanna get good at it maybe check out Modern Life Dating on YouTube, he’s on Rollo’s videos sometimes under the Rule Zero label, he does encourage online game and has material about it.

  27. After 11 years of marriage, being a good husband and a good father to my two beautiful children, my wife informed me that she no longer loved me and thought we would seperate.

    After going crazy trying to figure it all out an acquaintance of mine passed me your book and things are beginning to come into perspective that I had never connected the dots to before.

    I have spent the better part of the past year trying to work things out and reconnect , but have decided to stop wasting my energy and let her go. But I have also decided that if she wants to go, she had to leave and figure her life out on her own.

    I am still reading through your blog for helpful references to rebuilding my own understanding of things and to become stronger for myself and my kids.

    Thanks for sharing this material and viewpoint. It has been a source of strength to help me push through this confusing time.

  28. @Jody

    details matter… it might not be too late to turn it around… most importantly, what do YOU want?

    +1 on Palmasailor… FR section ftw!!!…

    good luck!

  29. Hey Rollo,
    I just read the RM book and all I have to say is that I am extremly grateful for your endeavors of constituting this type of work. It truly chnaged my perspective on gender relations and life in general. Looking forward to read more of your books in near future.
    Big Thank youand keep it up !

  30. I have to admit this blog help me a lot ! . 2 weeks and 2 girls. It’s just fucking amazing.. I have to rea read it in order to not make the mistakes once you get to this point. Greetings from Colombia.

  31. I dont know if there is, but i cant find it but you should definetly put some abbreviation interpreter because when i am am reading for the first time i am a bit lost…

  32. Hidden in the blogroll where you wouldn’t expect to find it there is a link to a Manosphere Appendix of Acronyms (and terms). Trigger warning for having to click through a trigger warning to get to it.

  33. Hey Rollo. Listening to the rational male volume 1 now. Just wanted to point out a factual mistake u made in it: U say a mans dick gets limp (and various other things) post sex because of “oxytocin”. While that may be a factor, the main force of this phenomenon is the hormone “prolactin”. At least that’s what the scientific medical consensus is. Maybe it’s both, but if it’s only one it’s prolactin responsible for the dick and dopamine related post sex changes. This is further proven by using dopamine drugs like pramipexole or cabergoline and how they lower prolactin and also shortens time between sex and sometimes even removes the recovery period n limp dick all together.

    Just wanted to point that out to be helpful 🙂

  34. Rollo,
    Thanks for opening my eyes and connecting the dots like nobody was able to do it for me ever before.
    This is life reversing experience

  35. I am 21 years old and i never had a girlfriend(or being intimate in poligamy language) with any girl.I havent even had a kiss.Never any girl in my life was attracted to me.Now,i dont even have any options.The university i attend is almost entirely populated by males,becase it is some of a traditionaly male job that requires higer education.I dont know where to meet women.Also i used to be confident but after so many time without any sucess and playing hard to get that lead to nowhere i feel uncofident and i have becomed needy.I feel like i have to quickly do something,like i am running out of time and missing so much.I was totaly oposite of that,but as time pases i feel like never would any women be attracted to me,i feel desparate i want validation,but also i dont have contact with any women which makes me anxious.

  36. @Lucas

    You are not running out of time. You are just frustrated. You can also learn getting along with other men skills until you get up to the plate with women. Other men as mentors or role models can teach you and you can learn from them if you pick their brains or become buddies, friends, team members, competitors, group sports or martial arts, wise. How was your growing up experiences in your family and how were your parents?

    And there was a blogger that wrote some advice for men like you quite a while ago. (2013) The Blogger was called Free Northerner.

    You might gain some ideas.

    Topics covered:

    Omega’s Guide

    The Omega’s Guide is designed as a guide to help an omega, social loser, or lesser beta become a confident, socially capable individual through self-improvement. At this point I am trying to release a new section every Sunday morning so that anyone following the guide can succeed at one goal a week.


    My Road from Omega

    Social Skills

    Martial Arts


    Social Activities





    Body Language


  37. Hi Rollo – I have 2 young daughters and I was wondering, since you have a daughter yourself, if you have any opinions/recommendations about raising a girl in this day and age? I really want my daughters to live fulfilling lives and not be sold on modern feminist ideals, but it is tough since they are bombarded daily with these empty messages. I respect your opinion and look forward to a response.

    1. Troy Francis’s approach her like Chad, Tucker Max Mating (he’s purple pilled and I agree, I understand why, but parts of the book are helpful.)

  38. I could have saved myself so much trouble if I got to read about this manosphere from the beginning. My story started years ago I was unconcerned with the imperatives that have consumed the society at large. My motivation came from the fundamental insight that there was a moral decay that ironically didn’t have a core beginning and as I was doing a walk I was met with the idea that men had given up their core responsibility in showing direction. I then went on to pray and ask God to bless me with a girl that will hurt me(reason being I had hurt many in my 18 years of living and that I wanted to put to test everything that was being published was true) I felt guilt for not giving a fuck about so many things that I wanted justice administered because I was an alien living on earth. I traded my instincts- inner natural knowledge that I had no explanation to whatsoever to conform to general convictions only later to learn I was AN ALPHA in making and my close friends to confess they were intimidated with my aura. I suffered huge blows but realized that after committing at an early age of 19 years and being in a relationship for three years only for her to leave for another guy. Ironically for the better part of my dating, I felt inwardly I was constrained and kept pushing and in denial of my motives to keep her from an evil world and that she needed protection. I read this with 100% conformity no because I am easily swayed but this is my life at large. I loved her more for leaving because she did what I couldn’t do all those years and gave me a chance to be the man I was created to be and better.

  39. I read this after my boyfriend passed it on to me…while there are some good points, much of it is disgusting and it merely encouraged and brought on MUCH abuse, verbally, mentally and physically; manipulation and heartache toward myself. It began turning him into a monster instead of helping him to step up and be a better man. Disappointing!!

  40. Hello Mister Tomassi,

    I apologize in advance for my English

    I’ve came across your masterpiece “Rational Male” volume one after reading “No more Mr Nice Guy” from Robert A. Glover, your two other volumes are on my wishlist

    Seeking for self improvement and a kind of “how to….seduce the chicks to get laid” I’m 29 years of age and have no experience at all at picking girls up and the major thing that I lack is “what to talk about” I’m a complete newbie, which doesn’t mean I never met girls in my life nor that I’m a virgin

    Your first book has been already a huge eye opener for me but I’m still confused about the notion of “Game” and the next step to apply, should I then keep reading time 2 and 3 to have a better idea about what game is or do I have to consult the PUA’s forum and get used to the preliminary skills to pick up girls, I still don’t get it, am I too dumb ??

    An answer would be highly appreciated

    Greetings from Europe

  41. Rollo, Sir, I am a nineteen year old guy from south Asia. These matrix things prevalent in western society that you talk about are catching up in east too. I just had been dumped by my first teenage girlfriend of 1 year when I found this blog few months back. I never had a father figure and I would really like some advice on few problems. Please tell me how I can contact with you personally.
    I’m thankful I found this blog at such a young age.😊

    1. It’s a bereavement. The set of rules you thought were in play aren’t, and were never in play.

      Just be thankful that you can see it now and move on.

      It gets easier.

    2. I felt like my own mother new what I was going through but couldn’t tell me exactly what to do all she was able to do is give me some hits now I know why

      1. They don’t actually know themselves. They’re cats, and we’re dogs, we’re not the same, and they don’t know how they work.

        Your mother probably would have helped you if she could have, but she doesn’t even know how she works or in practical terms how to help.

        1. I have to make a big decision and I really need your help after I learn about The Medium IS the Message I was able to figure out how my wife that I married for 18 years had a alpha boyfriend in her teenage years was able to had a long distance affair with him for 6 months and she decided to end it and I know for a fact if that guy was in the USA she would find a way to fuck him and she still think about him I was able to find out two month later I haven’t confront her about it yet because When I do this relationship is over but in the order hand I was scared to loose her therefore I decided to put up with her bs doing this time since I was 100% bata male I Blame myself for felling all all her Shit test and now knowing about the The Medium IS the Message so my question is should I call her out on all her bs or work on my self to prove to her I am not the same person anymore

          1. @Sean

            or work on my self to prove to her

            Or work on yourself to prove to who ?

            Others here have turned this stuff round and it’s not easy but take it over to field reports and I expect that they’ll step in.

            Anything you do should be for you.

            So what do you want?

            Son call her out on it yet, ultimatums are declarations of powerlessness.

          2. Sean

            Your worried and anguished about something that happened 18 years ago?

            Let it go. Just part of the red pill process…

            Anger stage…

            You can’t change it. And she will spin it 100% different today.

            Now is the time for you to stop thinking about her and focus on you and getting better.

            Once that process results in positive attention from her, then you can start to think about her.
            Do The Work.

            Post on Field Reports.

          3. Yes I believe I miss explain myself this situation is happening right now after 18 years of marriage she decided to go have a affair over the phone to her ex boyfriend From May 2020 until November 2020 I was able to find out in February 2021 my question is even though I still love her but I do not trust her anymore at the same time I need to know should I confront her all Or let it go and work on myself

  42. Sean

    Well that is different.

    Athol Kay used to say at MMSL the stay plan and the go plan are the same. You need to fix you.

    So get to fixing. Then if you want to get rid of her you work to optimize that outcome.

    1. I really want to get rid of her I just don’t know how if I should confront her about what I find out even though I know i was Wong to go in her phone invade her privacy But I needed proof since I invest so much in the relationship I just need help how to go by doing this thank you

  43. @Sean

    “A lot of guys reeling from having the Blue Pill rug pulled out from under them resort to either suicide, self-improvement or a long-term dwelling upon what they believe was a loss they will never be able to replace.”

    Best not to get in the habit of dwelling on it. Instead work on self improvement , ad value to you.

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