Plate Theory

Spin More Plates

Spin more plates.

A lot of people get confused when I use this analogy and I thought it prudent to write a post on just what I mean in this regard.

A Man needs to have a lot of simultaneous prospects spinning together. Think of each plate as a separate woman you are pursuing. Some fall off and break, others you may wish to stop spinning altogether and some may not spin as fast as you’d like, but the essence of plate theory is that a man is as confident and valuable as his options. This is the essence of the abundance mindset – confidence is derived from options.

This principle is the key to solving so many of the problems that dog the heels of beta AFCs and recovering AFCs. In fact I would say that this ideology should be the cornerstone to success for a man in many facets of life, not simply attracting and keeping women. A man with options has power, and from these options and this sense of power, a natural sense of confidence will manifest itself. A man without options becomes necessitous and this leads to a lack of confidence and a scarcity mentality. Necessitous men are never free.

The Cardinal Rule of Relationships
In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least.

When a man spins more plates, when he has irons in the fire, when he is pursuing multiple women simultaneously, when he has options equally worth exploring, a man will have a natural, subconscious (but not exclusively) understanding that if one prospect does not expand, others very well may. This understanding has manifestations in a man’s behavior that women key on covertly. There are mannerisms and attitudes that a man with options will subconsciously convey to prospective women that they interpret, and give this man a value as a commodity to be competed for with other females.

On this sites in the PUA community, we are taught to emulate this behavior since it is a key element in attraction and interest. Cocky-Funny is one such technique that trains a confidence behavior that (more often than not) essentially masks a deficit of options. In other words, C&F is a natural behavior for men with options that must be compensated for by those who don’t. This is why the ‘natural’ Alpha male seems to exude C&F effortlessly while those without the benefit of more plates spinning (or the confidence in the ability of spinning more) struggle with simple things like eye contact or initiating approaches. This is also a fundamental principle in the “I don’t give a fuck” mentality that pervades community technique – it’s much easier to actually not “give a fuck” if you have other prospects going simultaneously.

Shotgun Logic

One very important benefit that Plate Theory provides for a man is that it greatly curbs the propensity for ONEitis both in and out of an LTR.

Outside of an LTR, most guys subscribe to what I call the Sniper mentality. This is the AFC that applies all of his time, effort and resources to patiently waiting out his target, waiting for that perfect opportunity to summon enough courage in the most precise of conditions to take his one shot at the girl, who by then is the focus of his ONEitis. This process can take anywhere from a few weeks to a few years in extreme cases, but all the while he voluntarily sacrifices his most valuable of resource – potential opportunity. The man who subscribes to Plate Theory can more easily avoid this situation as he goes hunting for women with a Shotgun; scattering as much influence across the broadest area possible. While the AFC fishes with a single line and a single hook, the Plate Theorist fishes with a trolling net, selecting the fish worth keeping and tossing back those who aren’t.

Inside an LTR, Plate Theory becomes more specified. The AFC placates and identifies with his partner because the balance has shifted to her advantage since he reinforces her understanding that she is his only source of intimacy. I can’t think of a better recipe for ONEitis since he become progressively more dependent on her as his only source of intimacy. The man that maintains, at the very least, the covert perception of options, either professionally or on an intersexual level (i.e. social proof that other women will compete for him) maintains this power balance. Most successful men have an innate understanding of this and this explains their popular reservations for committing to marriage, In an LTR, Plate Theory becomes a subtle dance of perception and recognizing how your partner interprets understanding a particular man’s options, but regardless, it reduces a guy’s tendency to regress into ONEitis in an LTR from his own self-perception and the confidence int inspires.

Natural Selection

As I illustrated in the fishing net analogy, spinning more plates allows you more opportunity to select from the largest pool of prospective choices and date them or drop them as you see fit. This has two benefits. First, it serves as valuable, though non-committed, experience for learning what a man requires for his own personal satisfaction. Experience teaches harsh, but it teaches best and the breadth of experience serves a man well. Who’s insight is more beneficial, the man who’s sailed the world over or the man who’s never ventured beyond a lake? Secondly, opportunity and options make a man the PRIZE. Rock stars, professional athletes and movie stars aren’t irresistible to women because of their celebrity, but because they blatantly, and with the highest form of social proof, prove they have options that other women will jealously compete for as well as the confidence that this unconscious knowledge naturally manifests itself in them.

What Plate Theory is not

My critics will often take a binary stance in their arguments with this idea citing that “they could never be with more than one woman at a time out of respect for her” or “so I should just lie to her and see other girls on the side?” To which I’d argue that these are feminized social conventions that attempt to thwart a man’s options in order to establish women as the prime selectors in intersexual relations. If it can be conditioned into a boy/man to ‘feel bad’ about seeing more than one woman at a time, it only better serves the female-as-chooser dynamic. To be sure, women are naturally the filters for their own intimacies, but it is essentially men who do the sexual selection. These convention’s latent purpose are designed to put selection of intimacy on a conditional basis that favors women, and as long as men will internalize this women will have a pre-constructed social high-ground.

The way to circumvent this dynamic is brutal honesty and a commitment to truthful, non-exclusivity with the plates you’re spinning. If you keep your options above board and are honest with any one girl and yourself about your choice to be non-exclusive, you not only remove the teeth from this convention, but you also reinforce yourself as a man with options (or at least perceived options). Further, critics will offer “well gee, if I did that with any woman she’d push off and dump me” to which I’ll refute – not if you establish this honestly from the outset. Most guys who’ve swallowed the ‘female power’ convention are too afraid or to preconditioned to even consider this as an option for seeing women. Letting a woman know, or covertly perceive, that you wont be exclusive to her pushes your commodity level up and implies options and potential success she’ll compete with other women to be associated with.

Plate Theory is also, most definitely not, a license to be indiscriminate with women. Just because you can spin a plate doesn’t necessarily mean you should spin that plate. Some aren’t worth spinning and a man with options should have no reservation about letting one go for a better one or two. In fact a man ought to be more discriminating in this regard since it affords him the best available from the largest selection.


64 responses to “Plate Theory

  • Operative Social Conventions «

    [...] reoccurring problems for the Beta-AFC and the aspiring Game student alike. For the most part, Plate Theory covers a multitude of AFC sins, but my concern was with understanding why these questions come up [...]

  • Musings « thesmokingfrog

    [...] with it (enough that I feel like I can actually say something useful about it), I’ve found Plate Spinning, or even serial monogamy, to be singularly unfulfilling.  I want marriage. I want children. I want [...]

  • loveiseasy

    er.. what happens when you get into a relationship or get married? The most attractive women or “plates” will likely not put up with this for very long and he’ll be left with the lesser plates, no? I mean within a group of women that a man is dating, he will likely be more partial to the best looking one.

  • Plate Theory II: Non-Exclusivity «

    [...] I’ve been Spinning Plates with some success, but there comes a point when I risk one girl finding out about another. How do I [...]

  • The tool of ASD «

    [...] can operate unhindered in her sexual selection. As much as people want to take issue with me about Plate Theory, women have been employing it for centuries and the tool that is ASD has only made them better at [...]

  • Dirt Man

    I dig it man, right on. I also like the metaphor of ‘balls in the air’. Is that Captain Kirk in the picture above?

  • 5 Ways to Stop Being Such A Beta « petesgamethoughts

    [...] 2. Spin Plates – Confidence and strong mindsets come from having options. Especially with women. Having a large number of girls to hang out with, text and sleep with makes you much less concerned about the outcome of one particular girl. http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2011/08/19/plate-theory-2/ [...]

  • Truth to Power «

    [...] guys.” It’s this self-guided Power that evokes a seemingly irrational confidence to Spin Plates, to assert ourselves and to be unafraid to make ourselves the PRIZE, and it’s just this Power [...]

  • Real Power | SNY Ideas

    [...] “other guys.” It’s this self-guided Power that evokes a seemingly irrational confidence to Spin Plates, to assert ourselves and to be unafraid to make ourselves the PRIZE, and it’s just this Power [...]

  • A Ship in a Harbor «

    [...] taken a lot of heat for Plate Theory from AFCs who think it’s a promotion of some hedonistic lifestyle of the chauvinist male or [...]

  • Plate Theory IV: Goal-State Monogamy «

    [...] a guy uninitiated to the concept of spinning plates reads the theory for the first time his first response is usually rejection of it because it [...]

  • A Reply To Cadence on Sex, Commitment and Spinning Plates | The Badger Hut

    [...] Mike C (not to be confused with MikeCF) chimed in with a reference to blogger Rollo Tomassi’s “plate theory,” a process of non-exclusive dating or “spinning plates.” Related to both A & C – [...]

  • Plate Theory VI: Abundance & Scarcity «

    [...] Plate Theory is for your benefit, not for women’s. That might sound harsh, but it’s a method intended to increase your value as a commodity that works on two levels. First, the external – by practicing honest, non-exclusive dating you communicate to your prospective plates that you are in demand. I’ve gone so far as to tell men to foster this sense by never answering the phone from Friday to Sunday evening, even when they have no other plans. The perception that your attention is sought after increases it’s value – it’s when men are too eager to get with a woman that their attention becomes worthless and IL declines. Nothing serves a man better than having 3 or 4 women competing for his exclusive attention and fostering in them that feminine competitivie anxiety in as subtle and covert a way as possible. It’s a real art that women are all too familiar with. Women are natural plate theorists, they simply use their varying degrees of physical attractiveness to line their plates up. [...]

  • Three Strikes «

    [...] to think “there’s something special about this one.” Part of the reason that Plate Theory is integral to Game is that it encourages Men to disabuse themselves of their previous beta [...]

  • Mrs. Hyde «

    [...] are. If you’re young and just beginning to find your footing in the SMP then I’d advise spinning plates and enjoying yourself, but with the understanding that you are learning from experience. Maybe [...]

  • Male

    Please explain your abbreviations, or I’ll come SMP your LTR so you AFC your PUA and get ONEitis.

  • TheMale

    hey Rollo,

    another great post.
    i do have a question though:
    i know people asked you that but i didnt get it.
    if you’re married (because for me it’s the best way to raise children, not because it’s a goal and that’s how people live today) you cant just play multiple plate.
    it’s not honest.
    so how can you handle it once married ?

    another question that just popped up in my head, how can you be completely honest with a chick about that ? you said: ‘The way to circumvent this dynamic is brutal honesty and a committment to truthful, non-exclusivity with the plates you’re spinning. If you keep your options above board and are honest with any one girl and yourself about your choice to be non-exclusive, you not only remove the teeth from this convention, but you also reinforce yourself as a man with options (or at least perceived options)’
    are you telling her that you just looking for an open relationship/sexbuddy/not exclusive relationship so you can fuck other girl while fucking her ??

  • Uncomfortable Numbers? « The Private Man

    [...] a sense, I no longer have the time and energy to add any additional plates because I’m currently spinning 10 of them. I didn’t realize the number was so high [...]

  • Coquetry «

    [...] is a woman’s socially approved methodological equal of Plate Theory for men. And just like Plate Spinning, it requires a woman to keep a covert stable of potential [...]

  • martaj1618

    Reblogged this on Blyad and commented:
    Man with options is a man with power.

  • Stop Being Such A Beta « hustleandswoop

    [...] 2. Spin Plates – Confidence and strong mindsets come from having options. Especially with women. Having a large number of girls to hang out with, text and sleep with makes you much less concerned about the outcome of one particular girl. http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2011/08/19/plate-theory-2/ [...]

  • Girl’s Night Out «

    [...] has several more on the royal speed-dial; one more testament to the power of abundance thinking and Plate Theory. This may or may not be the case, but the impression of it and the covert communication of it is [...]

  • Year One «

    [...] Plate Theory [...]

  • ornamentalwomanhood

    plate spinning = mutual funds. It’s for men with zero risk tolerance and poor ability to pick good stock.

  • GenuinelyCurious

    @ Ornamentalwomanhood, this is just not true. I’m sure you don’t like the idea of being one of many plates spun at a particular time, but try to see it from a man’s perspective.

    Spinning plates can be a lifestyle, or just a great way to build up momentum until you find someone you want to stick with a bit more.

    The disadvantages I found is that it is time consuming maintaining plates and based around not becoming emotionally committed, which IMO makes it less exciting.

    Each to their own though and I am sure I will go back to it sooner or later.

  • Rollo Tomassi

    plate spinning = mutual funds. It’s for men with zero risk tolerance and poor ability to pick good stock.

    Plate Theory has been essential to women’s pluralistic sexual strategy (hypergamy) for centuries, but when women employ it we call it “prudence” and excuse any behavior that smacks of duplicitousness as “a woman’s prerogative” and her “right to change her mind.”

    When a man employs Plate Theory (non-exclusive dating) a fem-centric society shames him for not complying with the feminine imperative’s purpose of socially ensuring women’s priority in sexual selection (fulfilling hypergamy and long term provisioning). Ergo he’s a “poor selector of stock” yet uses the same selection strategy women have always used.

    All you’re doing is parroting back the memes fem-centric, fem-primary, society has taught you since you were 5 years old.

    And if you’d read this first you’d understand why:

    http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2012/01/02/plate-theory-v-ladys-game/

  • ornamentalwomanhood

    Rollo, you and I live in different worlds.

    Refer to Paul Washer’s work on dating vs. biblical courtship and you may understand I’m not parroting.

    I’m not talking about exclusive dating as in “LTRs” in the sense of the “mini marriage”. There is no true “commitment” that is covenant that cannot be broken outside of marriage. That’s delusional.

    If you’re dating for the purpose of marriage, it makes sense to invest in getting to know one person at a time. You might date for three weeks or three months all the while being totally cognizant that it may or may not work out and guarding your heart emotionally, your purity physically, etc.

    I might be more conservative. (See my post re: there is no such thing as just friends). I don’t have any male “friends” that I hang out with one on one. In a group, sure – but if I spend planned time with a man one on one it is a date. Since I am currently dating someone, I don’t see anyone else. I do this out of respect and care for him and because I DON’T EVEN WANT to date anyone else. I simply am single-hearted and I don’t have any idea of how investing myself in other men could possibly benefit the development of our relationship, however premature the stage it is at. Further, I have a life and I only have prayer, time, energy, and effort to invest properly in one man – let alone more. I expect fully not to have any one on one ‘dates’ with male friends after marriage either. What man on earth would ever tolerate that crap? If he is comfortable with me even dipping my left toe into another guy’s proverbial pool his intentions towards me are negligible.

    Quality women who have some level of honest intention towards a man will walk/run/sprint away from the guy who (past a certain reasonable point) makes no intention known and is dating other women and spreading his eggs in a whole bunch of baskets. It’s a major sign that the guy has either a lack of intention towards her, a lack of confidence in the relationship – ora lack of readiness for a relationship beyond fun recreational ungodly dating – or he’s been burned so bad he’s putting his eggs in multiple baskets, utterly terrified of them being crushed.

    Crush my opinions if you must. :) But see that there are women with a singleness of heart and be forced to realize that where you might see general trends, there are always outliers when you crunch the numbers.

    Security, ladies, isn’t found in investing in multiple guys. Invest in God, yourself, your family and respond with effort and intention towards the man who pursues you with an unmatched wholeheartedness and honesty. We don’t need players. Who is looking to join a harem? NOT ME.

  • (R)Evoluzione

    Ornamentalwomanhood…

    I spin plates.. and I don’t do mutual funds, in women or in the market. I’ll take the short call option on 80% of American women, maybe 99% in certain markets. I may or may not be long on the Euro market–it’s very specific to each position. SE Asia looks like it might have some winners long term. Brazil, Venezuela, and a few other key emerging markets are where it’s at, baby.

  • nek

    Ornamental Womanhood:
    “Security, ladies, isn’t found in investing in multiple guys. Invest in God, yourself, your family and respond with effort and intention towards the man who pursues you with an unmatched wholeheartedness and honesty. We don’t need players. Who is looking to join a harem? NOT ME.”

    Most women know this, and once, they get that “secure” guy it’s typically the countdown to when they go fool around with the players again. Now, the thing about “good stock”. Here’s a thought: Maybe most women “aren’t” good stock, ergo it’s more difficult for a man to find one of good stock. So just by playing the numbers, even if you are a good picker, you’re going to be waiting around an awful lot trying to find that “good stock”, not to mention the ensuing competition. You could probably say the same thing about men.

    “No Risk”. This is a shaming tactic trying to identify men as scared because they don’t want to plunge in. Typically the women who push hard and early for commitment, and use this guilt trip/shame tactic method on men they want commitment from, are the least commitment worthy. “easy come, easy go”. Read Mark Minter’s comment on Donlak’s article about getting married. There is a fine line between bravery and stupidity. This doesn’t just apply to marriage, but less serious relationships as well.

    I don’t know you personally but I’ll say this. The one thing about you that makes me believe that you’d be LTR material yourself as a person is that your religious. I notice that religious girls (always been, not “reformed” or born-again types), TRULY religious girls, seem to be the only types in the modern world that would make good LTR prospects. Hell, I’m not even religious but I understand the need for this in the chance of relationships working; it boils down to a fear of consequences, which most non-religious women don’t have to deal with in today’s world.

  • ornamentalwomanhood

    Nek

    “Most women know this, and once, they get that “secure” guy it’s typically the countdown to when they go fool around with the players again. ”

    For many women, what you say is true. As you said: “most women “aren’t” good stock” – I agree. I actually totally agree. I tire of flippant girls who cheat on their men, eyeball married men, on and on and on.

    ….However: there ARE good women out here and the really good ones ARE eliminated when you plate spin. They may not even be one of the plates you are spinning at the time! Smart women sit back and observe a guy’s conduct over time, esp. wrt how he manages his relationships with other people. By banking on the numbers game, I do think you auto-eliminate the best “stock”. These are my thoughts, surely you are free to have other opinions just throwing it out there!

    BTW, I apologize: “Risk” wasn’t meant to be shame inducing. It is a risk for both partners to invest wholly in another. I remark that plate spinners tend to be hurt guys with some healing to do who aren’t ready to put all their eggs in one basket for lack of investment/interest in any one specific woman of the bunch or out of fear they will be hurt, or fear they will hurt someone or whatever. (Women who bounce guys as you described seeking out the bad boys instead of a more beta babe tend to be the same btw – hurt as hell… as the saying goes: hurt people hurt people.) We’re human, we are in error almost all the time, and the stakes are big.

    Thank you for the compliment wrt LTR. I don’t consider myself religious however I am a follower of Christ. Religion has more to do with culture. Christ transforms and challenges us way beyond culture. Unbelieving guys looking for a religious type: be more wary of the ‘raised in the church’ I’m a perfect princess type than the genuine Christ follower. There are many wolves among the sheep. Find someone who is aware of the grace that Christ has offered them and, whatever her past, considers herself chief of sinners, in need of all of His mercy and made worthy of the awesome life He calls her into by His blood. But then, if you find her – you better get ready… Because 1) He is very likely to blow your mind with His goodness and you’ll come to know Him and 2) she won’t date you until that point. It’s kind of like dating a dead corpse vs. someone who is alive. There’s a “red pill” to swallow there beyond anything game could ever offer a man.

  • Alpha Quiz: Whoops, wrong shirt! | The Alpha Persona

    [...] Whoops, wrong shirt! Posted on 09/28/2012 by Alpha You’re spinning plates, because you’re a champ and understand that – unless you’re married – you [...]

  • Reader Jayzico BPD story « The Soloist 2.0

    [...] 2nd you have a “fling” and she breaks you off with some good”luving”. You fell for the okie doke. The good luving got you “open” (whipped). This happens to the best of us however you wasn’t spinning no plates? [...]

  • Alpha Quiz: Whoops, wrong shirt! | The Alpha Persona

    [...] spinning plates, because you’re a champ and understand that – unless you’re married – you [...]

  • Case Study – Adam’s Lament «

    [...] what? Spin more plates. If you had other potential women interested in you it would make no difference whether she wanted [...]

  • Brandon

    I’m on board with this 100%. I’ve always believed this on some level or another, but never had the privaledge and convenience of having it explained so logically and with such conviction. I don’t care what anyone says (esp some religious woman), this is solid information for young men like myself who have become frustrated with societal ideals and liberated (corrupted) women in general.

    Rollo, I’d gladly offer a fair donation for a short personslized e-mail consult with you. You’re like a father figure for Game advocates.

  • Rollo Tomassi

    leave me an email address to respond to your consult on the ‘About’ page comments.

  • Friends Like These «

    [...] withdraw – so long as you think you can do so. Cut off all contact and move on to spinning plates as you should have been anyway. This is simple pragmatism, if not a bit introverted, but the end [...]

  • New Dating App – Let’s Date « King Crimson

    [...] probably lead to more flakiness as there has been no genuine communication, but for the man who is spinning plates (as you all should be), I would suggest giving this app a shot  to get the potential [...]

  • How Many to Date At Once? | Smooth ReEntry

    [...] here: how many to juggle, how many irons in the fire, how many to keep on the radar, how many plates to spin, [...]

  • Hypergami vs polygyni | Yasers hörna

    [...] imperative, higher status attractive guys with options might have one main woman with some [plates spinning] on the side [= kvinnor vid sidan om]. In a masculine imperative, this would seem perfectly [...]

  • Den sexuella marknaden i ett matriarki | Yasers hörna

    [...] imperative, higher status attractive guys with options might have one main woman with some [plates spinning] on the side [= kvinnor vid sidan om]. In a masculine imperative, this would seem perfectly [...]

  • Be alpha, be authentic | rivsdiary

    [...] be indifferent, be unreactive to her, don’t give away my power to her — and of course, spin lots of plates to keep my options open — but at the same time, be authentic, be real, be true, connect with [...]

  • Making the Music Stop | Donal Graeme

    […] because there aren’t enough eligible women. Given that skilled “players” can spin several plates at once (that is, to maintain a harem of sorts), a small number of men can claim a much larger number of […]

  • Men Are More Resourceful Than Women | This blog will get me in trouble.

    […] back out there, and search for love, sex, and companionship from square zero (unless you’re spinning plates…which you should […]

  • Wittgenstein and Kant’s Manosphere | The Pillars of Hercules

    […] Relational Equity – Plate Spinning – The desire dynamic – Saviour […]

  • Women Will Never Struggle as Much as a Man | The Reinvention of Man

    […] happened and I can concentrate on my own life without any distractions from her.  And yes, I will spin more plates […]

  • Alex Zhukov

    Interesting thet it’s genetic behavior of neanderthals. Their males were in love with several females at a time. Because their society was patrilocal offsprings stayed with farthers not mothers. That kind of pairbond dynamic is more typical for white man due to larger amount of thal neurogenes.

  • Tales of Hypergamy — Recursive Game |

    […] interacting with. One of the first resistances I usually read from men when they first pick up on Plate Theory is that they could never manage more than a single woman’s interest at one time. Usually this […]

  • When your ex-wife won’t be your casual piece of @$$. | Sunshine Mary

    […] She just stared at me and said, “I can’t be one of your plates.” […]

  • Fortis

    Question for Rolo and Co.: how do you broach the topic of non-exclusivity with a woman, or at least make it apparent that you won’t be exclusive with her? Just seems really awkward to say, “yeah, ummm, I’m seeing other people. Deal with it.”

  • Game and Circumstance |

    […] have the capacity to actualize for themselves. But, as Game has evolved, it isn’t just about Spinning Plates, or sport fucking, it’s more encompassing than […]

  • Waarom Het Juist Wel Loont Om Een “Player” Te Zijn | Approach Now

    […] Rational Male noemen ze dit Spinning Plates. Een betere Nederlandse term zou misschien “jongleren” zijn. In het begin voelde ik me […]

  • 20 Questions |

    […] go into it in Plate Theory, but there are a lot of subliminal behavioral cues a guy gives off (mostly unknowingly) when […]

  • The Objective Russian Scale | Spherical Male

    […] to miss her. She’s getting male attention constantly and is really good at female version of Plate Spinning. The main difference from an eight is a lack of model shapes and/or […]

  • One Move: Lower Mortality, Increase Productivity and Improve your Game - The Man The Myth

    […] the acrobat spinning them can really only attend to one plate at a time spinning each one in turn. Sound familiar? When discussed as a dating technique, Spinning Plates actually works because you can really only […]

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