Plate Theory

Spin More Plates

Spin more plates.

A lot of people get confused when I use this analogy and I thought it prudent to write a post on just what I mean in this regard.

A Man needs to have a lot of simultaneous prospects spinning together. Think of each plate as a separate woman you are pursuing. Some fall off and break, others you may wish to stop spinning altogether and some may not spin as fast as you’d like, but the essence of plate theory is that a man is as confident and valuable as his options. This is the essence of the abundance mindset – confidence is derived from options.

This principle is the key to solving so many of the problems that dog the heels of beta AFCs and recovering AFCs. In fact I would say that this ideology should be the cornerstone to success for a man in many facets of life, not simply attracting and keeping women. A man with options has power, and from these options and this sense of power, a natural sense of confidence will manifest itself. A man without options becomes necessitous and this leads to a lack of confidence and a scarcity mentality. Necessitous men are never free.

The Cardinal Rule of Relationships
In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least.

When a man spins more plates, when he has irons in the fire, when he is pursuing multiple women simultaneously, when he has options equally worth exploring, a man will have a natural, subconscious (but not exclusively) understanding that if one prospect does not expand, others very well may. This understanding has manifestations in a man’s behavior that women key on covertly. There are mannerisms and attitudes that a man with options will subconsciously convey to prospective women that they interpret, and give this man a value as a commodity to be competed for with other females.

On various sites in the PUA community, men are taught to emulate this behavior since it is a key element in attraction and interest. Cocky-Funny is one such technique that trains a confidence behavior that (more often than not) essentially masks a deficit of options. In other words, C&F is a natural behavior for men with options that must be compensated for by those who don’t have an apptitude for it. This is why the ‘natural’ Alpha male seems to exude C&F effortlessly while those without the benefit of more plates spinning (or the confidence in the ability of spinning more) struggle with simple things like eye contact or initiating approaches. This is also a fundamental principle in the “I don’t give a fuck” mentality that pervades community technique – it’s much easier to actually not “give a fuck” if you have other prospects going simultaneously.

Shotgun Logic

One very important benefit that Plate Theory provides for a man is that it greatly curbs the propensity for ONEitis both in and out of an LTR.

Outside of an LTR, most guys subscribe to what I call the Sniper mentality. This is the AFC that applies all of his time, effort and resources to patiently waiting out his target, waiting for that perfect opportunity to summon enough courage in the most precise of conditions to take his one shot at the girl, who by then is the focus of his ONEitis. This process can take anywhere from a few weeks to a few years in extreme cases, but all the while he voluntarily sacrifices his most valuable of resource – potential opportunity. The man who subscribes to Plate Theory can more easily avoid this situation as he goes hunting for women with a Shotgun; scattering as much influence across the broadest area possible. While the AFC fishes with a single line and a single hook, the Plate Theorist fishes with a trolling net, selecting the fish worth keeping and tossing back those who aren’t.

Inside an LTR, Plate Theory becomes more specified. The AFC placates and identifies with his partner because the balance has shifted to her advantage since he reinforces her understanding that she is his only source of intimacy. I can’t think of a better recipe for ONEitis since he become progressively more dependent on her as his only source of intimacy. The man that maintains, at the very least, the covert perception of options, either professionally or on an intersexual level (i.e. social proof that other women will compete for him) maintains this power balance. Most successful men have an innate understanding of this and this explains their popular reservations for committing to marriage, In an LTR, Plate Theory becomes a subtle dance of perception and recognizing how your partner interprets understanding a particular man’s options, but regardless, it reduces a guy’s tendency to regress into ONEitis in an LTR from his own self-perception and the confidence int inspires.

Natural Selection

As I illustrated in the fishing net analogy, spinning more plates allows you more opportunity to select from the largest pool of prospective choices and date them or drop them as you see fit. This has two benefits. First, it serves as valuable, though non-committed, experience for learning what a man requires for his own personal satisfaction. Experience teaches harsh, but it teaches best and the breadth of experience serves a man well. Who’s insight is more beneficial, the man who’s sailed the world over or the man who’s never ventured beyond a lake? Secondly, opportunity and options make a man the PRIZE. Rock stars, professional athletes and movie stars aren’t irresistible to women because of their celebrity, but because they blatantly, and with the highest form of social proof, prove they have options that other women will jealously compete for as well as the confidence that this unconscious knowledge naturally manifests itself in them.

What Plate Theory is not

My critics will often take a binary stance in their arguments with this idea citing that “they could never be with more than one woman at a time out of respect for her” or “so I should just lie to her and see other girls on the side?” To which I’d argue that these are feminized social conventions that attempt to thwart a man’s options in order to establish women as the prime selectors in intersexual relations. If it can be conditioned into a boy/man to ‘feel bad’ about seeing more than one woman at a time, it only better serves the female-as-chooser dynamic. To be sure, women are naturally the filters for their own intimacies, but it is essentially men who do the sexual selection. These convention’s latent purpose are designed to put selection of intimacy on a conditional basis that favors women, and as long as men will internalize this women will have a pre-constructed social high-ground.

The way to circumvent this dynamic is brutal honesty and a commitment to truthful, non-exclusivity with the plates you’re spinning. If you keep your options above board and are honest with any one girl and yourself about your choice to be non-exclusive, you not only remove the teeth from this convention, but you also reinforce yourself as a man with options (or at least perceived options). Further, critics will offer “well gee, if I did that with any woman she’d push off and dump me” to which I’ll refute – not if you establish this honestly from the outset. Most guys who’ve swallowed the ‘female power’ convention are too afraid or to preconditioned to even consider this as an option for seeing women. Letting a woman know, or covertly perceive, that you wont be exclusive to her pushes your commodity level up and implies options and potential success she’ll compete with other women to be associated with.

Plate Theory is also, most definitely not, a license to be indiscriminate with women. Just because you can spin a plate doesn’t necessarily mean you should spin that plate. Some aren’t worth spinning and a man with options should have no reservation about letting one go for a better one or two. In fact a man ought to be more discriminating in this regard since it affords him the best available from the largest selection.

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[…] reoccurring problems for the Beta-AFC and the aspiring Game student alike. For the most part, Plate Theory covers a multitude of AFC sins, but my concern was with understanding why these questions come up […]

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[…] with it (enough that I feel like I can actually say something useful about it), I’ve found Plate Spinning, or even serial monogamy, to be singularly unfulfilling.  I want marriage. I want children. I want […]

loveiseasy
Guest
loveiseasy

er.. what happens when you get into a relationship or get married? The most attractive women or “plates” will likely not put up with this for very long and he’ll be left with the lesser plates, no? I mean within a group of women that a man is dating, he will likely be more partial to the best looking one.

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[…] I’ve been Spinning Plates with some success, but there comes a point when I risk one girl finding out about another. How do I […]

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[…] can operate unhindered in her sexual selection. As much as people want to take issue with me about Plate Theory, women have been employing it for centuries and the tool that is ASD has only made them better at […]

Dirt Man
Guest

I dig it man, right on. I also like the metaphor of ‘balls in the air’. Is that Captain Kirk in the picture above?

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[…] 2. Spin Plates – Confidence and strong mindsets come from having options. Especially with women. Having a large number of girls to hang out with, text and sleep with makes you much less concerned about the outcome of one particular girl. http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2011/08/19/plate-theory-2/ […]

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[…] guys.” It’s this self-guided Power that evokes a seemingly irrational confidence to Spin Plates, to assert ourselves and to be unafraid to make ourselves the PRIZE, and it’s just this Power […]

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[…] “other guys.” It’s this self-guided Power that evokes a seemingly irrational confidence to Spin Plates, to assert ourselves and to be unafraid to make ourselves the PRIZE, and it’s just this Power […]

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[…] taken a lot of heat for Plate Theory from AFCs who think it’s a promotion of some hedonistic lifestyle of the chauvinist male or […]

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[…] a guy uninitiated to the concept of spinning plates reads the theory for the first time his first response is usually rejection of it because it […]

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[…] Mike C (not to be confused with MikeCF) chimed in with a reference to blogger Rollo Tomassi’s “plate theory,” a process of non-exclusive dating or “spinning plates.” Related to both A & C – […]

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[…] Plate Theory is for your benefit, not for women’s. That might sound harsh, but it’s a method intended to increase your value as a commodity that works on two levels. First, the external – by practicing honest, non-exclusive dating you communicate to your prospective plates that you are in demand. I’ve gone so far as to tell men to foster this sense by never answering the phone from Friday to Sunday evening, even when they have no other plans. The perception that your attention is sought after increases it’s value – it’s when men are too eager to get with… Read more »

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[…] to think “there’s something special about this one.” Part of the reason that Plate Theory is integral to Game is that it encourages Men to disabuse themselves of their previous beta […]

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[…] are. If you’re young and just beginning to find your footing in the SMP then I’d advise spinning plates and enjoying yourself, but with the understanding that you are learning from experience. Maybe […]

Male
Guest
Male

Please explain your abbreviations, or I’ll come SMP your LTR so you AFC your PUA and get ONEitis.

TheMale
Guest
TheMale

hey Rollo, another great post. i do have a question though: i know people asked you that but i didnt get it. if you’re married (because for me it’s the best way to raise children, not because it’s a goal and that’s how people live today) you cant just play multiple plate. it’s not honest. so how can you handle it once married ? another question that just popped up in my head, how can you be completely honest with a chick about that ? you said: ‘The way to circumvent this dynamic is brutal honesty and a committment to… Read more »

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[…] a sense, I no longer have the time and energy to add any additional plates because I’m currently spinning 10 of them. I didn’t realize the number was so high […]

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[…] Plate Theory […]

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[…] is a woman’s socially approved methodological equal of Plate Theory for men. And just like Plate Spinning, it requires a woman to keep a covert stable of potential […]

martaj1618
Guest

Reblogged this on Blyad and commented:
Man with options is a man with power.

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[…] 2. Spin Plates – Confidence and strong mindsets come from having options. Especially with women. Having a large number of girls to hang out with, text and sleep with makes you much less concerned about the outcome of one particular girl. http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2011/08/19/plate-theory-2/ […]

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[…] Plate Theory 101 […]

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[…] has several more on the royal speed-dial; one more testament to the power of abundance thinking and Plate Theory. This may or may not be the case, but the impression of it and the covert communication of it is […]

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[…] Plate Theory […]

ornamentalwomanhood
Guest

plate spinning = mutual funds. It’s for men with zero risk tolerance and poor ability to pick good stock.

GenuinelyCurious
Guest
GenuinelyCurious

@ Ornamentalwomanhood, this is just not true. I’m sure you don’t like the idea of being one of many plates spun at a particular time, but try to see it from a man’s perspective. Spinning plates can be a lifestyle, or just a great way to build up momentum until you find someone you want to stick with a bit more. The disadvantages I found is that it is time consuming maintaining plates and based around not becoming emotionally committed, which IMO makes it less exciting. Each to their own though and I am sure I will go back to… Read more »

Rollo Tomassi
Guest

plate spinning = mutual funds. It’s for men with zero risk tolerance and poor ability to pick good stock. Plate Theory has been essential to women’s pluralistic sexual strategy (hypergamy) for centuries, but when women employ it we call it “prudence” and excuse any behavior that smacks of duplicitousness as “a woman’s prerogative” and her “right to change her mind.” When a man employs Plate Theory (non-exclusive dating) a fem-centric society shames him for not complying with the feminine imperative’s purpose of socially ensuring women’s priority in sexual selection (fulfilling hypergamy and long term provisioning). Ergo he’s a “poor selector… Read more »

ornamentalwomanhood
Guest

Rollo, you and I live in different worlds. Refer to Paul Washer’s work on dating vs. biblical courtship and you may understand I’m not parroting. I’m not talking about exclusive dating as in “LTRs” in the sense of the “mini marriage”. There is no true “commitment” that is covenant that cannot be broken outside of marriage. That’s delusional. If you’re dating for the purpose of marriage, it makes sense to invest in getting to know one person at a time. You might date for three weeks or three months all the while being totally cognizant that it may or may… Read more »

(R)Evoluzione
Guest
(R)Evoluzione

Ornamentalwomanhood…

I spin plates.. and I don’t do mutual funds, in women or in the market. I’ll take the short call option on 80% of American women, maybe 99% in certain markets. I may or may not be long on the Euro market–it’s very specific to each position. SE Asia looks like it might have some winners long term. Brazil, Venezuela, and a few other key emerging markets are where it’s at, baby.

nek
Guest
nek

Ornamental Womanhood: “Security, ladies, isn’t found in investing in multiple guys. Invest in God, yourself, your family and respond with effort and intention towards the man who pursues you with an unmatched wholeheartedness and honesty. We don’t need players. Who is looking to join a harem? NOT ME.” Most women know this, and once, they get that “secure” guy it’s typically the countdown to when they go fool around with the players again. Now, the thing about “good stock”. Here’s a thought: Maybe most women “aren’t” good stock, ergo it’s more difficult for a man to find one of good… Read more »

ornamentalwomanhood
Guest

Nek “Most women know this, and once, they get that “secure” guy it’s typically the countdown to when they go fool around with the players again. ” For many women, what you say is true. As you said: “most women “aren’t” good stock” – I agree. I actually totally agree. I tire of flippant girls who cheat on their men, eyeball married men, on and on and on. ….However: there ARE good women out here and the really good ones ARE eliminated when you plate spin. They may not even be one of the plates you are spinning at the… Read more »

Rollo Tomassi
Guest

@Ornament, you may find this discussion intriguing:
http://alphagameplan.blogspot.com/2012/09/women-arent-attracted-to-godly-men.html

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[…] Whoops, wrong shirt! Posted on 09/28/2012 by Alpha You’re spinning plates, because you’re a champ and understand that – unless you’re married – you […]

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[…] 2nd you have a “fling” and she breaks you off with some good”luving”. You fell for the okie doke. The good luving got you “open” (whipped). This happens to the best of us however you wasn’t spinning no plates? […]

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[…] spinning plates, because you’re a champ and understand that – unless you’re married – you […]

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[…] what? Spin more plates. If you had other potential women interested in you it would make no difference whether she wanted […]

Brandon
Guest
Brandon

I’m on board with this 100%. I’ve always believed this on some level or another, but never had the privaledge and convenience of having it explained so logically and with such conviction. I don’t care what anyone says (esp some religious woman), this is solid information for young men like myself who have become frustrated with societal ideals and liberated (corrupted) women in general.

Rollo, I’d gladly offer a fair donation for a short personslized e-mail consult with you. You’re like a father figure for Game advocates.

Rollo Tomassi
Guest

leave me an email address to respond to your consult on the ‘About’ page comments.

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[…] withdraw – so long as you think you can do so. Cut off all contact and move on to spinning plates as you should have been anyway. This is simple pragmatism, if not a bit introverted, but the end […]

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[…] [Plate Theory] […]

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[…] probably lead to more flakiness as there has been no genuine communication, but for the man who is spinning plates (as you all should be), I would suggest giving this app a shot  to get the potential […]

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[…] here: how many to juggle, how many irons in the fire, how many to keep on the radar, how many plates to spin, […]

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[…] imperative, higher status attractive guys with options might have one main woman with some [plates spinning] on the side [= kvinnor vid sidan om]. In a masculine imperative, this would seem perfectly […]

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[…] imperative, higher status attractive guys with options might have one main woman with some [plates spinning] on the side [= kvinnor vid sidan om]. In a masculine imperative, this would seem perfectly […]

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[…] be indifferent, be unreactive to her, don’t give away my power to her — and of course, spin lots of plates to keep my options open — but at the same time, be authentic, be real, be true, connect with […]

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[…] because there aren’t enough eligible women. Given that skilled “players” can spin several plates at once (that is, to maintain a harem of sorts), a small number of men can claim a much larger number of […]

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[…] back out there, and search for love, sex, and companionship from square zero (unless you’re spinning plates…which you should […]

yumicpcake
Guest

idiots! rotflmfao!

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[…] What is spinning plates? This explains it quite well: http://therationalmale.com/2011/08/19/plate-theory-2/ […]

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[…] Relational Equity – Plate Spinning – The desire dynamic – Saviour […]

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[…] happened and I can concentrate on my own life without any distractions from her.  And yes, I will spin more plates […]

Alex Zhukov
Guest
Alex Zhukov

Interesting thet it’s genetic behavior of neanderthals. Their males were in love with several females at a time. Because their society was patrilocal offsprings stayed with farthers not mothers. That kind of pairbond dynamic is more typical for white man due to larger amount of thal neurogenes.

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[…] interacting with. One of the first resistances I usually read from men when they first pick up on Plate Theory is that they could never manage more than a single woman’s interest at one time. Usually this […]

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[…] She just stared at me and said, “I can’t be one of your plates.” […]

Fortis
Guest
Fortis

Question for Rolo and Co.: how do you broach the topic of non-exclusivity with a woman, or at least make it apparent that you won’t be exclusive with her? Just seems really awkward to say, “yeah, ummm, I’m seeing other people. Deal with it.”

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[…] have the capacity to actualize for themselves. But, as Game has evolved, it isn’t just about Spinning Plates, or sport fucking, it’s more encompassing than […]

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[…] Rational Male noemen ze dit Spinning Plates. Een betere Nederlandse term zou misschien “jongleren” zijn. In het begin voelde ik me […]

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[…] go into it in Plate Theory, but there are a lot of subliminal behavioral cues a guy gives off (mostly unknowingly) when […]

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[…] to miss her. She’s getting male attention constantly and is really good at female version of Plate Spinning. The main difference from an eight is a lack of model shapes and/or […]

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[…] the acrobat spinning them can really only attend to one plate at a time spinning each one in turn. Sound familiar? When discussed as a dating technique, Spinning Plates actually works because you can really only […]

Ryan
Guest
Ryan

“…commodity…”

I suggest you look up that word in the dictionary. It doesn’t mean what you think it does.

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[…] There is far too much material in this book to cover in a review, as just the sections I highlighted run into the dozens of pages, so for brevity’s sake I will focus on two complementary elements that have been critical to my personal development over the past several years, namely: ONEitis (a subsection of The Basics) and Plate Theory. […]

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[…] por Rollo Tomassi. O original está aqui. […]

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[…] Plate spinning […]

Ara
Guest

Great post! We will be linking to this great content on our website.
Keep up the good writing.

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[…] get back out there, and search for love, sex, and companionship from square zero (unless you’re spinning plates…which you should […]

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[…] a positive dominance in their relationships with women. In a dating context of non-exclusivity (plate spinning) this means, as a man, you have a solid reality into which that woman wants to be included in. […]

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[…] of this may seem a bit pervasive coming from the guy who advises men to spin plates and date non-exclusively for as long as it takes (if ever) to attain the depth of experience to […]

kite
Guest
kite

Rollo, I have been reading your blog for few months now and the more knowledge I acquire the more dissatisfied I become. I see this grand conspiracy and I am starting to think whether it is just a product of a man’s intelligence and articulation which is now working to his own detriment – its like a spider caught in his own web. My reality or I should say that my perceived reality has been shattered by a lot of the material here. When you say that women are not capable of appreciating or loving a man as he expects… Read more »

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[…] (Enlace al original en Ingles) […]

Kelmu Kalamazoo
Guest
Kelmu Kalamazoo

Seek happiness within yourself. Meditate, be present. Isolate and live freely this way. Spin your own plate, if you’re bold enough. Don’t bank on others to measure success. This very philosophy is the foundation of a false-self,solidified with carbonated intimacy. Good luck with this, in the end we all die alone.

Bt
Guest
Bt

This would have been informative if it weren’t written solely in acronyms and analogies. Come on man say what you mean. Not all of us are on Reddit 24/7

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[…] […]

manchild
Guest
manchild

Please correct last sentence before Natural Selection which reads
: “…and the confidence int inspires.” to read “…confidence it inspires.”

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[…] complementary and interdependent with one another. Mutual cooperation, tribalism, monogamy and even small-scale polygamy have been beneficial social adaptations for […]

eghost247
Guest

Reblogged this on eghost247.

Am Fcking Confused
Guest
Am Fcking Confused

What’s an AFC? American Frontier Cowboy? Arse F-Ing C-ksucker? Agitated Furry Chimpanzee? Please do explain this, as well as your others!

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[…] Instead of focusing everything on one girl, it’s best to make small investments with several to see which ones start giving you returns. Put $5 (figurative dollars) into a cute girl you meet in the park, $10 into the hip barista at the coffee shop, and $20 into that HB9 you meet at a lounge. As you make these small and diverse investments, you can invest a little more in to that particular stock if it starts showing you some returns, or if others show no returns or fall flat, you can take a small loss on investment. It’s… Read more »

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[…] it’s easy to understand this sentiment, but it doesn’t change the objective fact that even in spinning plates women eventually want to presume that a man is implying a more long term monogamy at some point. […]

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[…] advice actually makes, an albeit simplistic, sense in that the best way to avoid ONEitis is to Spin Plates. Usually, that’s what a bad Blue Pill rejection amounts to; a losing of the best thing that […]

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[…] To maintain a the power bias to your benefit, learn to spin plates. […]

Hoshy
Guest
Hoshy

Not needing her because you have a bunch of different options, is still needing those options and is a hollow victory that will eventually catch up with you. Once you truly don’t need her, by giving your love into the world whether it is needed or not, accepted or rejected, only for the sake of giving your best gift, does the sustainable real magic happen.

pantolones de caca
Guest
pantolones de caca

I’m new to this whole “plate spinning” thing. I didn’t even know it had a name. But I just got out of what you would refer to as a “LTR” and decided to just enjoy women again. After so long with one girl who would control everything I just had to have some fun. I began pursuing any girl I found attractive. The awesome thing about this is, the more options you have, the less of a shit you give when approaching more women. If you get rejected, it doesn’t matter in the least, you have options. But success is… Read more »

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[…] Rational Male kitabında ve bloğunda yer alan en önemli kavramlardan biri olan Tabak Teorisini (Plate Theory) ele alacağım. Eğer İngilizceniz varsa, gidip oradan okuyun. Bu aşağıdaki birebir çeviri […]

Slayer
Guest
Slayer

Just had an unexpected bout of oneitis for a few days last week after a plate flaked – I actually felt repulsed by my reaction. Background is that I recently turned 50, have a few young kids and read this blog religiously after I filed for divorce a few years ago. Only regret was that I didn’t read it when I was 18. Anyway, I’ve had a seemingly endless stream of dates the past few years — I’m financially successful, in great shape, and have no problem engaging women. My biggest challenge is balancing single-parenting with dating…I learned I have… Read more »

Neo50
Guest
Neo50

Rollo

Sound advice.

BTW, after reading a lot of this blog post-divorce 3 years ago, I am always reminded of this Seinfeld scene as the classic I-dont-give-a-fuck template — I should make it part of my daily affirmations:
https://youtu.be/T9W_jW4e_uY

Classic.

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[…] Male kitabında ve bloğunda yer alan en önemli kavramlardan biri olan Tabak Teorisini (Plate Theory) ele alacağım. Eğer İngilizceniz varsa, gidip oradan okuyun. Bu aşağıdaki birebir çeviri […]

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[…] Male kitabında ve bloğunda yer alan en önemli kavramlardan biri olan Tabak Teorisini (Plate Theory) ele alacağım. Eğer İngilizceniz varsa, gidip oradan okuyun. Bu aşağıdaki birebir çeviri […]

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[…] No more.  Today, I’m unplugged and going my own way, trying to follow a few simple rules, and keep my options open.  Oh, and I’m teaching my friends along the way…They’re quick […]

Buiatt
Guest
Buiatt

I know that one of the most important true about the red pill is: That girl that you are fascinated about, forget it! Act like she was just another one, and if she don’t want be with you, that is ok. Move on and forget it! There is no such a thing.

Unplugged is hard, really hard. Is like trying to put a IOS 10 in a Iphone 3.

Rollo, can you discuss about this?

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[…] Rollo Tomassi, Plate Theory on The Rational Male (August 2011).] and repelled by monogamous commitment, as if he has no spirit […]

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[…] Plate Theory, written by Rollo Tomassi, entails that this person needs to have simultaneous prospects (or plates) spinning together. Think of each plate as a separate person you are pursuing. Some of them will fall and break; some you’ll wish to stop spinning, and some may not spin as fast as you’d like. But in essence, a man is as confident as his options. […]

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[…] whether you’re just starting to develop your Game or you’re an experienced player, spinning plates is an essential part of the Game and great skill to master. I’ve been doing a bit of […]