I’ve been collecting my thoughts about my recent talk with Jedidiah Bila and a few topics of discussion stood out in this show. People wonder why I don’t do “debates” with every new influencer who wants to make a name for themselves by challenging my character – rarely my work – and then proceed to talk over and past me at every uncomfortable point I make. Going on Jedidiah’s show and then playing ‘gotcha!’ with Ruslan for two hours on Adam Sosnick’s show reminded me why I don’t bother with disingenuous critics.
Jed blanketed me with “Not all women are like that” (NAWALT) responses to every assertion I made. After 20 years in the sphere, the rationales and cope never change. Women will always presume their experience is the universal one. Any woman can speak for all women because solipsism is baked into their psyches. An unflattering collective truth about women’s nature is an attack on the individual woman’s ego. Whataboutism, thy name is woman.
One thing I was reminded of in my 3 hours and 10 minutes with Jedidiah was the importance of never revealing the Game to women. It is always a mistake to explain the game of intersexual dynamics to women. I’ve written essays about this since 2014. Back then I added a caveat; never talk about Red Pill concepts with women you want to get intimate with. If you didn’t care whether you ended up in bed with her or you were trying to hold a woman accountable for whatever reason, then have at it. By now you should know you’ll never reason a woman into bed with you. Reason and virtue are anti-seductive because they rely on logically convincing a woman to sleep with you. Seduction is about emotional appeals. Women want to feel like they want to bang you. That means playing the Game with them to prompt those feels. Explaining Game to women triggers the observer effect.
Women want to play the Game, they don’t want to have the Game explained to them.
Even the women you don’t want to end up in bed with. This explanation has been been the downfall of every Blue Pill guy who’s ever agonized over how his crush just can’t see that he’s logically the best choice for her to invest her sexuality in. These are the guys who do all the in-depth analyses and spreadsheet breakdowns of their qualifiers that would make them a woman’s best bet for future love, security, and parenting. They’re also the guys women want nothing to do with because the very act of explaining why they should fall in love with them, have sex with them, and reproduce with them grates against women’s feminine intuition. Engaging her intuition is part of the play. Vox Day once said that women can’t explain why they feel a barely repressible urge to punch Gamma males in the face. That urge stems from the feeling that Gamma men are trying to trick women into selecting him by logically explaining why he is her best option. This is effectively negotiating desire with a woman that a Gamma male isn’t in a relationship with. It’s like convincing her that she has an obligation to fuck him and settle on him for the long term even if she has no real desire for him. It’s akin to controlling her body and removing her choice in the Hypergamous process.
Every time I’ve been on shows discussing Red Pill topics with women we always reach the point of diminishing returns. The conversations begin with explanations of female nature and the point-counterpoint proceeds from there. This is usually the most productive phase of the ‘debate’, but eventually, we get to the point where women run out of logical counterpoints to defend themselves and the sisterhood. This is when we enter the NAWALT phase. This is the phase where selection bias and individual qualities of real women enter the conversation. Disqualifiers, No True Scotsman logical fallacies, and then universalizing of personal anecdotes and “lived experiences” as the objective truth usually crop up in this phase. This is when one woman speaks for all women; or all women who are of the standard she believes she sets in the sexual marketplace.
When these rationales fail we finally reach the point of the emotional reframe. This is the point of diminishing returns. “Who hurt you?”, “Have you ever actually been in love?”, and “What was your childhood like?” are all variations of the emotional reframe. If you ever hear these questions or accusations in the course of explaining the Red Pill to a woman, you’ve reached the point of diminishing returns and nothing more productive will really come from continuing the talk. If you continue past this you enter into the point of negative returns. At best you’ll look like you’re beating up on helpless women with logic they can’t refute. At worst your detractors will take the best 30-45 second video clips of you out of context to use against you in a Reel, TikTok or YouTube #short to build their own White Knight brand.
The mistake in all this is expecting any contrition on the part of women. Why? Because you’re explaining the Game to them rather than playing the Game with them. You’re essentially assuming the role of the Gamma male explaining to women how they do their magic tricks. It’s not really magic. All their fascinating tricks are explainable and have logical purposes that benefit them or have some practical function. Explanations kill the faith and the feels necessary to play the Game. All women cease to be special in the light of rational explanation. Belief ceases to be faith when you explain the machine behind the magic.
This is why women think you’re creepy and want to punch you in the face when you explain the machine to them. They literally cannot argue against why you are the right (or wrong) choice to fuck and procreate with. This is exactly why Mikhaila Peterson complained of “Not getting a good feeling” after my talk with her back in December of 2021. Contrary to popular opinion I don’t actually want to fuck Mikhaila so I have no reason not to explain the Game to her. But I can’t make it feel good after I do, nor would I want to. The point of the talk wasn’t to feel good after the show; it’s to debate the strength of ideas. However, she’d probably like to punch me in the face for ruining the magic for her.
Observing a process will change that process. This is called the observer effect. It’s why there are certain phenomena that have to be observed in the wild rather than in the lab. I honed my people-watching skills while working in the casino marketing and liquor promo industries. This was my fieldwork for decades. It’s also why I focused on behaviorism in college. Organic, unsolicited behavior is a good metric for genuine desire. But negotiating desire or discussing desire on a talk show triggers the observer effect. You cannot negotiate genuine desire, but there are many ways of negotiating it that seem like logical, female-correct methods of forming a healthy relationship. I’ve heard every pop psychologist from Dr. Phill to Dr. Peterson blather off some variation of negotiating desire as a key to a good relationship. I argue this is the kiss of death to any relationship. Why? For all the reasons I learned and described after debating Red Pill topics with a myriad of women whom I’ll never have any desire to bang.
Negotiating desire is always rooted in reasoning a woman into bed with you. Thus the obligation to fuck you is based on the same reasoning.
Likewise, explaining the Red Pill to women is negotiating desire based on similar logic.
I’ve learned to predictably expect women to act in certain ways.
Life experience in dating, and the confirmation of my understanding of women has been reinforced by guys like Rollo, and other’s in this space.
What bothers me more lately is boys in the comments section who behave in ways as emotionally unbalanced and petty as the women they complain about.
Women will act as they do. Men, however, should be accountable and responsible for their failures when it comes to dealing with women.
What goes on in the fight club should stay in the fight club., i.e. do not talk about it outside the fight club.
“I don’t actually want to fuck Mikhaila….” is what beta males say. I’ve heard this over and over from “I like to be an alpha” betas who just don’t get it. This is just an excuse for guys who internally know that they have no chance with that girl.
Or it’s a throw away comment meant to illustrate a larger point. How does an “Alpha” explain he doesn’t actually want to fuck a girl?
You are completely right Rollo.
Keep on going on your road dispite of what these sisterhood fiminists are saying.
If they are upset, you know you are right 🙂
You are the best manosphere writer, Mr. Tomassi. Your writing always prompts a myriad of insights. Thanks.
As always Rollo is always on point. I unplugged just in time but I understand why alot of men find it difficult
Welcome back to the blog Rollo.
Why don’t you post the YouTube here after airing? I think a lot of blog discussion and comments would follow, YouTube not a good forum for that.
I wonder if even the most “logical” female minds on this planet, such as the multi-billion dollar asset fund managers on Wall Street or those few female nuclear physicists, are capable of breaking-free from their game playing romantic beliefs?
Rollo nice to see you putting up a new blog article, it has been some time since the last one! Hopefully, you have time to post more articles. I understand the need for videos and books, but the blog articles are concise snap shots on bite size concepts.
Missed the blog writing, glad to see you back on here.
Anythinggoes
I wonder if he male one can?
I kinda agree with you that it changes the game, but if you really don’t care this comes across to women that you are not desperate. Of course, you cannot logic her into bed but calling out some unpleasant truths and laughing it off can instil intrigue into such women. This is NOT and extended talk show debate to qualify yourself but a quick, small crack of solipsism to spark an aura over your character. A man that truly does not care whether he gets the girl or not is not desperate.
@Rollo: Yay you are posting again 🙂
Maybe don’t tell women a damn thing?
Welcome back. What inspired you to post after a year off?
What are the perspectives that the gender dynamics will ever be understood well academically? Even reference to “population statistics” rather than “anecdotes” is not a good starter, as statistical analysis of the modern guys would be laughably misleading:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fear-intimacy/202208/men-s-silence-in-relationships
Rollo – “Mental point of origin” is conflated by some people to be the same as solipsism. This conflation is always (in my opinion) a cop out to essentially avoid “burden of performance”, Some men tout that “mental point of origin” is the male equivalent of solipsism. This manifests yet another mental schema that supports the mirage of egalitarian equalist delusion. Although (again in my opinion) they are consciously or subconsciously evading burden of performance, their perception is genuinely “real”. Can you provide here any thoughts or insights to help someone explain that “mental point of origin” is not the… Read more »
Great game = Great lover
Negotiating desire = Pervert, or worse, rapist.
Mr. Darcy, John Galt or Christian Grey I can be all of them Came here to cure your sin Come on baby let me in Do it now or tell me when Mr. Darcy, John Galt or Christian Grey They are just your fantasy I’ll give you reality I’ll cure you of your ecstasy I’m the truth and it is me Mr. Darcy, John Galt and Christian Grey Sorry I insulted them I am the real of them Going out on a limb I cut it and it’s getting thin Mr. Darcy, John Galt and Christian Grey They’re all fake… Read more »
Yay rollo is back to blogging! Absolutely rollo should troll the hell out of the most pissy high profile feminsts from NYT or elsewhere. There’s huge click bait value. One of the few things that roosh understand back in the day before he self destructed. It doesn’t mean trying to convert some pissy broad to RPT. Its more about highliting the contrasts to reveal their inconsistencies. The manosphere needs that. I don’t buy into the so called “red pill women” thing either, like those who claim to support their husbands at anthony bitch muscles dream johnson’s event. Ask them a… Read more »
Mikhaila Peterson. 6/10.
But only because in the current culture of obesity, any white woman who isn’t fat is automatically considered above average. Get this annoying hoe off my screen.
Finally back at it I love tHis place
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0UxRENKFF9A&feature=youtu.be
Big picture – Gynocentric obsession origin? The agricultural revolution – the “birth” of “civilization”. Humans had to become “civilized” before humans could murder one another in such massive quantities and in such horrific ways… same primate for 150,000+ years. Civilization is the attempt to circumvent inconveniences of nature, including our own nature. Its precepts are equity for all – civilized polite society. Civilizations cooperation imperative attempts to supersede the competition instinct attempting to end or resolve the natural occurring conundrum of both cooperation and competition existing in equal measure simultaneously. This occurred and is still occurring while also trying to… Read more »
There are many songs that need to be rewritten… The Reason I’m not a stupid person There’s so many things I wish you didn’t do But I continue learning I never meant to accept those things from you And so, I have to say before I go That I just want you to know I’ve found a reason for me To change who I used to be A reason to start over new And the reason is you I’m sorry I was hurt by you It’s something I must live with every day And all the pain you put me… Read more »
“Civilization is the attempt to circumvent inconveniences of nature, including our own nature. Its precepts are equity for all . . .”
One of the characteristics that formally defines civilization is a lack of equity, a hierarchical social structure, including laboring and non-laboring classes.
@kfg – I agree.
The outcome does not equal the premise. “…attempt to circumvent…”
” . . . – civilized polite society.”
I am not criticizing your thesis, only this particular premise. Civilized polite society does not take equity as a precept. The precept of civilized polite society is everyone knowing their place.
“The weaklings are unhaaaaaapppy.”
Exactly. Equity is a decivilizational force, toward the state of nature.
“. . . nature always wins.”
It can’t help being the biggest and the strongest. It doesn’t even exercise.
This latest book has been so impactful for me. Thank you Rollo! Question for you guys on here. I have really gotten my frame together since going on this journey and I have gone from Christian nice guy to a resolute man who has himself as his mental point of origin. My wife loves it and our sex life is way better now. Question for you experienced, if your wife has been alpha widowed, how do you overcome that? Our sex life is getting better but I’m not oblivious to the fact that she dated and banged men before me… Read more »
@Rob Benton
Assuming you’re not a troll, take it over to field reports and check in there.
Why the Lol by the way?
You think you’re in a funny situation?
But there seem to be at least some female youtubers which seem genuinly red pilled (justpearlythings for example), so it might be in possible for females to get red pilled to a certain degree and understand game.
Now its a question if that depends on IQ, lived experience, social environment or something else. In any case they seem to be rare.
This confuses me. I don’t see anything wrong with explaining alpha seed, beta need to a partner. If Martie Haselton can explain it to women, why can’t I? For the unfamiliar, the red pill concept I’m referring to is the fertility phase preference for muscularity and dominant behavior that eventually relaxes back into a preference for wealth and long-term provisioning attraction indicators. I really can’t tell the Missus or a date that Dr. Haselton discovered this effect for fear that I’m trying to overtly qualify myself to her? All I’m saying is: “Based on the science, fertile women prefer x… Read more »
@Johnny
Do it then and poast a field report
Let us know how it went
“I don’t see anything wrong with . . .”
Because you are a man with a direct sexual strategy, not a woman with an indirect sexual strategy . . . and you believe that men and women think alike, which, given their different reproductive roles, is something that is prima facie impossible.
No matter how many “men” get pregnant.
Why would you “explain” anything to a woman?
Backwards rationalization hamster.
@Johnny. It is like playing music. This blog, the books and others is where you can learn some “scales”, “chords”, “triads”, “strum patterns”, etc… how “music” works pertaining to women and you relationships with them. But when you are playing…. for your enjoyment and the enjoyment of others… you are expected to know what you are doing without having to explain what you are doing. Explaining takes all your fun out of performing and others enjoying your performance. Would you enjoy a band member telling the audience, “Ok girls! This is based on a C blues scale. Girls do you… Read more »
Rob Benton “Question for you experienced, if your wife has been alpha widowed, how do you overcome that? Our sex life is getting better but I’m not oblivious to the fact that she dated and banged men before me that were 25 while she was 18 and I know they did things”… “things”… I’ll be 60 next year. Did they do “things” that she is not willing to do with you… or that you assume she is not willing to do with you.. or that you aren’t really confident with yourself about doing… or a combination of those? Do you… Read more »
@Rob Benton
Actually it is… you can get what you need here but as I’ve probably said you’ll need to go over to the field reports section and lay it all out to take it further.
We have come into a gynocentric world because women control finance [hold the purse string] in the family. Who controls the money rules. And so everything has been geared/oriented towards capturing the purse string holder, namely the woman.
Each and every guy should know how to handle finance, and should be able to articulate why it is the husband that should handle family finance.
Therefore financial how and why education is necessary for every man to change the world for the better. This should be an essential part of red pill education/mentoring/activism.
@Rollo I apologize ahead of time this comment is slightly off topic but was just the most active thread.. I am a woman of these times and wish I had come across these ideas in my 20s but I may not have been mature enough to understand at that time. I of course spent the earlier part of my life pursuing a career. I grew up in a family where my example of masculinity was not alpha and as much as I love my parents, anything relating to SMV and even relationships were not spoken of. In my youth I… Read more »
@Rob Benton – I have no advice to offer you. I always avoided alpha widows like the plague, as it was painfully obvious even in my younger days that their baggage had baggage. Of course now it’s even worse because many, if not most of them, have out of wedlock children with other men and now that their flower has withered they hope that you will step in and help them raise their deadbeat lover’s children. I have more than a few nephews who have fallen into this trap and it is heartbreaking to watch.I suppose that if your kids… Read more »
Point of negative returns?
Manchild Independent woman Disconnected her from her man They gave her equality It’s the new society In this equal partnership She’s the one who cracks the whip And you’re the same as her Just forget the way we were Can’t tell her what to know Can’t show her where to go Can’t teach her what to do If you try they’ll bully you Don’t tell her what you know Now she makes her own dough Don’t tell her what you need If you do they’ll make you bleed Now she can do it all The answer to every call Now… Read more »
hi bro,
I couldn’t find a way to contact you privately, so I’m doing it here. I hope that’s ok.
I restored the old rooshv pua forum at rooshvforum.network
I though you might be interested, as you were registered there (I found your website thru a link on your profile).
In case you wish to recover your old account, send a message to “citron” on the forum.
Please share the link, a lot of people may be interested (maybe on your site?)
Peace 😉
Been a while since I read some TRM, thank you Rollo. Probably would attempt different communication when conveying this stuff to most women and the mouth breathing clueless guys out there. More seeking to understand their perspective, while staying grounded in my own. Opening windows they can see into themselves. I’ll point out that the whole rational explanation thing makes all life unspecial. When you write “all women cease to be special in the light of rational explanation. Belief ceases to be faith when you explain the machine behind the magic” it assumes rationality as how the world works and… Read more »
Transphobia Tell me why I’m so depraved Biology has me enslaved Nature is the great offender Forcing me to be a gender Why is nature so deranged Why was I born so rearranged Who put these ideas in my head Who made me into what I dread She is the hand who rules the world Each destiny as life’s unfurled Dispatched me on her evil haunt I’ll be anything I want Be half a human half a beast I’ll eat you in my insane feast Shit with my mouth eat with my ass Avenging nature is my wrath Who lead… Read more »
It reminds me of the time I made a profile in a dating app. I was getting zero hits. A psychologist friend told me that I was approaching the dating app incorrectly. She said that I was posting about myself (what I like, what I do for fun, etc.). Women don’t care about that. She said to write what I will do for the woman. I said how I was going to make their p wet and that I was going to eat their azz out. She said that’s ok but not to say it plainly, but that I should… Read more »
Hello! I might be the only woman here, but well I would like to mention that there is an exception: if you would like to rationalize with a woman to get what ever you want from her just make sure that she is an INTJ. If women cannot be rationalized into occasional sex, man cannot be rationalised into a relationship. Man need to FEEL that they want to be in a relationship with you… and yep I tried a few times! As an INTJ woman, logic cames before feelings so I have a great struggle with flirting and romance in… Read more »
@Mimi 100% TROLL – We hear Mimi’s hamster wheel. You go guuurrrrl! Mimi – what a brilliant troll you are! What an architect you are! Mimi the trolls playbook – Tell men there is an exception, a unicorn Tell men the exception will be honest and rational, lie Tell men the exception, the unicorn, is an INTJ woman Tell men that it is men’s fault that Mimi rode the cock carousel Tell men that Mimi is only 0.02% of the population, reinforce and fake the unicorn Tell men that Mimi’s problem is men’s fault And NO. Men are not interested… Read more »
Screaming mimi sounds like rocket launcher.
Red warning flags much?
question: so let say a woman is a criminal in some way (ie car thief and/or committed 2 homocides ect) ? (like she evidently isn’t into pop culture or laws), how do you ‘play the game; with her? and if you don’t why exactly not?
question: how would you play game with Margaret Thatcher?
Does it really depends on sexual attraction?. Like if you don’t feel attracted to the criminal lady you won’t be able to ‘play the game’?
The way to look at women is as if they were confused little girls. They never really grow up. Not really. Play to her innocent (stupid) side and you will get vastly rewarded. The rewards go beyond sex to adulation and worship. When a chick is manipulated into spreading her legs, she justifies this act to herself. Being the root cause of her leg-spreading means playing the chords on her inner mind like a musical instrument.
Kanye West has bought parler. Red pilled and based.
[…] Rollo Tomassi, one of the 4 survivors, for the most part, dodged the bullets. He now has a successful podcast (and a hit book) where he shares Red Pill/Manosphere/PUA insights. […]
Rollo, I have a suggestion for a post that you might really enjoy sinking your teeth into. I recently ran across a story about Truman Capote’s answer to the question of whether his Holly Golightly character in Breakfast at Tiffany’s is a prostitute. He says no. It’s a curious, but interesting explanation. My bottom line for his explanation — she’s merely ahead of her time as more and more women today act like her. She’s a hot girl who uses her beauty and the possibility of sex to extract resources and fun times from rich men. She’s sure she will… Read more »
I kinda agree with you that it changes the game, but if you really don’t care this comes across to women that you are not desperate. Of course, you cannot logic her into bed but calling out some unpleasant truths and laughing it off can instil intrigue into such women. This is NOT and extended talk show debate to qualify yourself but a quick, small crack of solipsism to spark an aura over your character. A man that truly does not care whether he gets the girl or not is not desperate.
@ Nail “I kinda agree with you that it changes the game, but if you really don’t care this comes across to women that you are not desperate. Of course, you cannot logic her into bed but calling out some unpleasant truths and laughing it off can instil intrigue into such women. This is NOT and extended talk show debate to qualify yourself but a quick, small crack of solipsism to spark an aura over your character. A man that truly does not care whether he gets the girl or not is not desperate.” Successful men have no desire or… Read more »
Hi Rollo, this is yet another message today from a guy wishing to thank you for all your work that has been so eye-opening to me and millions of others. I did read a lot, and I mean a lot, on the subject, but you’re the one. Definitely. And while what you say in your books is so sad and hard to accept at first, 99.9% of your thoughts find confirmation in my life. Every. Single. Time. Best wishes from a translator from Poland. And yes, I know you’ve heard it before. If only I knew all this 25 years… Read more »
Greetings from a 20-years-old Chinese man, I’ve been reading tRM for at least 2 years. I’m curious why Rollo haven’t been updating blog for 6 months, anybody knows?
Hi rational
When you will do more blog
Very good. Makes tons of sense to me. And, I’m choosing to continue to love my girlfirend, with all her flaws, and with all my flaws too.
How dare the male mind can see all this more clearly!!! and Thank God. (definitely written to be ironic and provide a typical response and annoy any red-pillers).
I would like you to know what you think about this blogger https://datepsychology.com/the-emotional-epistemology-of-the-red-pill/
@argmax, choking on something are you?
The master does not need to create culture, and the slave, because he is a slave, is the one who creates the different forms of culture. That is what Hegel said.
Women detect in a date to which of the two classes you belong, discarding you if you are a slave. On a date, a man should talk about vacation spots, personal trainers, and cars, and talk about movies and literature scores -1.
@ Oliver – “On a date, a man should talk about vacation spots, personal trainers, and cars, and talk about movies and literature scores -1.” On a date, talk about her and let her do most of the talking. Most men have the problem of being intimidated by women, their beauty, the fear of rejection. Women love to talk about themselves. Their most used words are “I”, “me”, “my” and “Like”… always followed by something directly related to how they feel or felt. Men who are successful with women listen to women, not from a position of inferiority to women,… Read more »
I like the efforts you have put in this, regards for all the great content.
The average American male is so neutered and gelded that he hath not the courage nor the will to ask for his fifty cents back from the proprietor if the Coca Cola machine steals his quarters…
Hi Rollo, I’m reading your last endeavor, great work.
You mentioned this
“”The five sections of this book coincide with The Players Workshop series of videos and courses offered by The Rational Male®. This book is the coursework for these five courses.
Each course section is provided as instruction, Q&A, and critical debate on all principles in this book. Look for these Players Workshop classes, videos, and online discussions on therationalmale.com”
But I cannot find them, can you plz help me out?
Just like parents… they ain’t never gonna understand
[…] Rollo Tomassi, one of the 4 survivors, for the most part, dodged the bullets. He now has a successful podcast (and a hit book) where he shares Red Pill/Manosphere/PUA insights. […]