An Essay for Women

A Hierarchy of Relationship Needs • Part II

Hypergamy is a dualistic mating strategy. Women have two conflicting mating strategies. I wonder how many of you have stopped and actually considered what that’s like for a woman?

It’s not easy, and it’s even worse for those who are aware of it because knowing it doesn’t change it. Like she can’t help it that the thug makes her wet…

Society constrained women from pursuing their short term, Alpha Fux urges in many ways. But it doesn’t now. So all women pursue the hottest guys, the guys who turn them on the most and now that they can earn and support themselves, why the fuck not?

If you were a woman, would you strap in with some chode for the duration cuz he was “steady”? So what he can’t make you cum, I mean that’s not all there is to life, right?

Get this – women were trapped with men they didn’t want to be with in many situations in the past.I know, bringing up a female POV is always verboten here. But in fact, the Red Pill has made me much more empathetic to what it’s actually like for women. You see, if you spend a lot of time with different women, having sex with them, they open up. They tell me how they feel about being monogamous at all. Many young women do not want children at all. And why not? Because it doesn’t serve men? That’s the point – they want to serve their impulses and their needs.

I don’t say it’s good. I don’t think we are headed in a good direction. But I also understand why women behave the way they do. And I don’t feel ill-served by it because it suits my mating strategy.


For what it’s worth, it’s never been verboten to discuss women’s perspectives on this blog. On the contrary, I think sussing out why women are the way they are is essential to understanding intersexual dynamics. Despite some guys yelling, “Who cares what women think!”, understanding women’s innate motivations is key to understanding intersexual dynamics.

And that disinterest is the first obstacle I think a lot of guys, especially in today’s Manosphere, need to get past in order to figure out what would work best for themselves in the new sexual marketplace. PUAs have always been interested in what makes women tick. Understanding their motivations and mating strategies is key to solving a reproductive problem. MGTOW and others may feign indifference to those motives, but even their ‘solutions’ are still rooted in knowing why women do what they do.

For the most part, my blog has been dedicated to understanding the mechanics of how both sexes go about solving their reproductive problem. My critics seem to think that just asking questions about those mechanics or coming to a consensus about them based on the dots I connect is negative and/or bitter. And I get it from both sides. There are the guys who’ll say the Red Pill is obsessed with getting laid, and therefore is pointless because it gives women an undue importance in a guy’s life. And then there are the guys (and a lot of women) who’ll say “Rollo, all you ever do is focus on men, why isn’t there a Rational Female book you’re working on?

When I get asked about writing a book for women my first impulse is to suggest they just read the The Rational Male first. I have no plans to write a female specific book in the future (nor will I be participating in any misguided convention marketed a “making women great again”) because I think that what I outline in all my books is, or should be, equally relevant to female readers. Women will complain about ‘tone‘ and why can’t I just wrap up this information in a nice pink-covered edition of the book, but it’s the content that’s important. Women are innate solipsists and would love nothing more than to read about themselves and their own natures – if for no other reason than to get off on the indignation I might inspire – but they really don’t want a rational discourse about it. They want an emotional delivery.

And this is the difficulty I’m facing in coming to this part of my series; most women really don’t want to learn anything objective about themselves. It doesn’t feel good. In this essay I’m going to outline a few things women can do to make themselves a better catch in the sexual marketplace. So, yes ladies, this is finally a Rational Male post directed at you.

If you read the the six simple directives Rich Cooper enumerated in his tweet from the last essay you’ll already be ahead of the curve. However, I understand I am committing a Red Pill sin here in that I am attempting to appeal to your reason. Despite the accusations of misogyny I do, in fact, believe women can use a capacity to reason – and therefore do have agency – it’s just that reason is always downstream from emotion in women’s mental firmware. And I should add that the larger social narrative of feels before reals is a direct result of this prioritization of women in a female-centric social order.

Women don’t wanna be told shit.

There’s even a cute name for when men try to explain something to a woman her ego doesn’t want to acknowledge – Mansplaining. This is the next obstacle. The Fempowerment narrative (really an effort in social engineering) has conditioned generations of women since the Sexual Revolution to presume an inherent correctness in whatever it is that satisfies the Feminine Imperative. If something benefits womankind it must therefor be the correct solution for a woman personally and society on whole. I sometimes refer to this as The Sisterhood Über Alles. The cultural meme The Future is Female is a recent example of this.

This resistance to acknowledging anything even marginally objective or unflattering about female nature (or even that humans might have an innate nature) is the primary reason I rarely bother with trying to explain anything Red Pill to women. Women don’t wanna be told shit, and when I get a request for a female-focused approach to something it’s because women want to feel something (usually indignation), not learn anything. Even in a social scope women refer to their organizations and movements as the resistance. This cultural meme is an extension of women’s personal edicts as taught to them by Fempowerment.

Asking women to drop their own, learned, hubris is the first hurdle to educating them. The next is confronting their innate solipsism. In Girl-World everything is about them. This proclivity for self-importance and self-aggrandizement in women has been ruthlessly exploited by commercial and ideological interests for almost two centuries now. It is also the key component in the spread of feminism and the embedding of feminist ideological ideas in our social fabric.

A Blue Pill for Women

In a few videos I’ve detailed how there is a similar effort in western(izing) culture to condition women to fit a new social contract. Feminism and the Fempowerment narrative is just one aspect of this Blue Pill for women. But the next hurdle for women to understand a Red Pill praxeology can be distilled to one message Fempowerment teaches women:

Never do anything for the express pleasure of a man.

A woman’s Blue Pill conditioning is founded on the 70s feminism era notion of the Strong Independent Woman meme. She don’t need no man. She is independent – independent of what? She is not dependent on any man, and anything she might do to specifically please a man is antithetical to that independence. To please a man is to participate in their own “oppression” by the Patriarchy.

That’s the origin of the mechanics of the meme we now take for granted. Ladies, from the time you were five years old this independence of men message has been hammered into your psyche by everything from popular culture, to your schooling, to your religion, to your single mothers and your Blue Pill conditioned fathers.

The present-day social segregation of the sexes I keep harping on this year is a direct result of this independence meme being baked into women’s souls from the earliest ages for generations now. I have to laugh when I read women tell me how ‘little girls are so repressed still today’ when a Fempowered social order has eliminated even the thought of not giving girls and women every form of advantage and special dispensation imaginable for over 50 years now.

So, ladies, you must unlearn that which you’ve learned. Understand that solipsism is in your mental firmware.

  • Understand that you’ve been conditioned to feel that men and any opinion they have are irrelevant to your being. Men should serve you and be thankful you gave them the opportunity to do so.
  • Understand that this social order is predicated on the female experience superseding, and being more legitimate, than the male experience.
  • Understand that Hypergamy and your innate self-interest are being fed by a social order that profits on your self-absorption – only to discard you when you figure out the game too late in life.
  • Understand that there are social conventions established at every phase of your life to explain away why you aren’t living the life of strong independence that narrative conditioned you for since the age you started watching Disney Princess movies.

Most importantly, female reader, understand it’s okay that you should want to do something for the express pleasure of a man. It’s okay to appreciate the masculine for the sake of it. This is the number one thing you have to unlearn. Men and women are different. Our natures are complements to each other, but we are not equals – and it should be a source of pleasure for you to appreciate and enjoy those differences.

Yes, a man must live up to his Burden of Performance in order for you to evaluate his merits. I’m in no way suggesting that you drop anything with regard to your Hypergamous filtering. I’m saying you need to unlearn the hubris you’ve been conditioned for. Unlearn the ego-inflation that social media has deliberately instilled in you. And most importantly, unlearn the notion, the pride, of independence from men.

Learn this now ladies, you will never get close to the connection you want to feel with a man until you learn to appreciate him as a masculine complement to your feminine nature. You are not his equal, you are his complement, and as Roissy once said, a woman wants to submit to a worthy man’s mission as his complement. We are better together than we are apart. The sum can be greater than the parts, but not if you are the independent, self-fulfilling, autonomous ‘things‘ that feminism and the Blue Pill would have you believe is the key to its fantasy of an egalitarian, androgynous, goal-state for human beings.


So. Was any of that triggering for you? Illuminating women to the reality of their own conditioning is in some ways even more dangerous and difficult than unplugging guys from their own Blue Pill delusions.

Most women fancy themselves as “Alpha Females” but never really understand that the fantastical Strong Independent Woman® archetype (really it’s a brand) they hold in their heads is actually based on a masculine dynamic. They’re actually alpha males with breasts and a vagina. It’s really hard for women to give that fantasy up, particularly when they live in an era when men are portrayed as vile, stupid, untrustworthy and ‘dependent‘ on women’s powerfulness to save them from themselves.

The female Blue Pill instills this sense of empowerment in women based on false narratives about a straw-man masculinity. Hypergamy is dualistic – Alpha Fucks/Beta Bucks, Cads/Dads – but half of that desire, the desire for provisioning, parental investment, familiarity and comfort, is rooted in a need for security. Women are the weaker sex. In our ancestral past women (and their offspring) were dependent on men for protection from a chaotic environment. That need for security is still something women seek out in today’s men.

But in this era, men are weak. Bumbling buffoons. “Economically unattractive” and largely incapable of protecting her or her young. This is the message the female Blue Pill teaches little girls and old women. As a result, men cannot be trusted to provide anything like physical protection, and increasingly they can’t be relied upon to help pay the bills. So, women must step up and fulfill their own security needs – often by direct resource transfer from men, but that’s immaterial to the message that Fempowerment embeds in you ladies.

To compound this impression of men, women (and men) are taught that they are in fact blank slate equals of the other. All individuals are really just chaotic, unknowable products of whatever social order constructed them. There are no natures or differences between the genders – and there are at least 68 of those that we know of, right?

The female Blue Pill teaches women that not only are men not to be trusted for security, but that part of that independence from men will be necessary for their own survival. This insecurity about men being capable of providing security is the basis of women masculinizing themselves.

In turn, this is the reason all of what I write here and elsewhere is so triggering for women. How dare I suggest women ought to ‘man down’?! Man can’t be trusted to ‘be men’, just look at them!

This is why women resist the awareness that the Red Pill brings to them. It presumes they must drop all their preconceptions about the nature of men and adopt a femininity that is now alien to them. The Blue Pill will tell you that the discomfort you feel in being more feminine is ‘just how you are‘, but it’s really due to decades of constant social conditioning to make you feel self-conscious in being feminine.

But, most of all, dropping that masculine pretense needed to provide her own security implies she make herself vulnerable to emotionally investing herself in a man who’s dishonest in his own quality. The Existential Fear for women is to invest herself in a man (and his progeny) who tricked her Hypergamous filters into believing he was Alpha when he was in fact Beta. By flipping the Blue Pill script, by suggesting that women drop the masculine pretense and adopt conventional gender complementarity (submission), it is akin to me suggesting she ignore her Hypergamous instincts.

That is why this is triggering you ladies.

Value Added

All that said, how can a woman make herself more valuable to a man once the sexual side of the equation is satisfied? Women constantly complain about being “sexually objectified” by men. They want to be appreciated for more than just being a piece of ass, but in the same world advertise their sexuality as their primary value virtually everywhere. From a very early age women understand that their primary agency in this life is their sexual value to men – and they quickly learn how to leverage it.

Ladies, if you want to be valued for more than your sexuality your going to have to develop actual value beyond your sexuality. Sex is the glue that holds a relationship together. Learn that, accept that. But once you have that down, what else are you to him? What can you do to expressly please him and what can you do to express your appreciation for him?

You must learn the concept of value added. For women this value comes from an inherent understanding of her own femininity and what it offers to the masculine that it cannot provide for itself or does only with greater effort.

If you want a dominant, Alpha, conventionally masculine man to be your boyfriend/husband start by living like a man like that can actually exist in the world. Most guys adapt to whatever it is that will get them laid. When a guy believes in the fantasy of an egalitarian relationship with a woman it’s because he believes it’s the best path to solving his reproductive problem. You can counter this by expecting him to adopt conventional masculinity.

One of the biggest favors my wife did for me was in her expecting me to “be the man” in our relationship and later marriage. Until I met her damn near every woman I was intimate with was convinced that egalitarianism between men and women was ‘natural’, or should be at least. It was a shock to my Blue Pill system when my wife expected me to drive her car when we were dating. From the earliest days of our relationship she insisted that I fill the dominant masculine role and she was going to fill the feminine role. This expectation and our filling those roles modeled masculine and feminine behavior for our daughter who now also has a conventional perspective on gender that most of her peers do not.

New Old Ideas
  • Learn to cook.
  • Do laundry.
  • Keep the home organized and clean.
  • Stay thin.
  • Be sexy, learn to seduce him.
  • Initiate sex with him.
  • Have genuine sexual desire for him (and let him know when you don’t) and be a genuinely enthusiastic lover.
  • Wear a dress.
  • Embrace his family.
  • Take his surname.
  • Have a job, but not a career.
  • Trust him to be your source of security.
  • Encourage him when you face challenges.
  • Reassure him.
  • Play with him, and play with him

These are just a few of the acts that you can do to manifest your femininity, but they must be part of a genuine desire and willingness to be his complement. You cannot negotiate desire. This primarily applies to sex, but the resentment that comes from obligation also flows over into other aspects of your relationship.

You have to want to be feminine. Just as men eventually need to internalize the Red Pill and make that awareness deeper than just the situational, so too must you want to be his complement. He has to be the guy you want to be feminine for. He must be the man whose babies you want to have for him.

If you find yourself making rules for him, if you make sex a reward for desired behavior, he’s not that guy.

Women make rules for Beta men to comply with. They’re like little ultimatums he must follow, but understand that this is your hindbrain asking that Hypergamous question; ‘Is he the best I can do?’ Recognize this in yourself.

Women break rules for Alpha men. Is your desire for this man so significant that you will break the rules that the female Blue Pill has taught you? Will you break with the conditioning that taught you never to do anything for the express pleasure of a man? Even the most staunch feminists confess to loving a dominant Alpha male who exercises his will over her own. Why do you suppose that is?

Will you break the greatest rule you have for yourself and submit to him because you have the genuine desire to do so? You’ll be happier and healthier if you can answer ‘yes’, but if not, do both him and yourself the courtesy of breaking it off and go sort yourself out before you try again.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

164 comments on “An Essay for Women

  1. “why can’t I just wrap up this information in a nice pink-covered edition of the book“

    There is a big market for this, and someone will grab it. Key is to translate all negative sounding terms, like hypergamy, into sugar coated ones, an easy to swallow pill if you will.

  2. redlight
    There is a big market for this,

    Not really. There’s a big market for telling women what they want to hear. Rollo is telling women what they need to know.

    This isn’t as triggering as Lori Alexander’s essay on Men prefer debt-free virgins without tattoos” was; the entire churchgoing femosphere erupted over that, because how dare men! And how dare her!

    There’s no way to wrap up hypergamy and shit testing with enough pink bow – those two facts alone will trigger badfeelz not just from the old-ladies wearing Hillary pantsuits, but also from the strong ‘n independent YouGoGRRLs. I assert that there is no way to tell these facts to any woman in her 20’s such that she actually hears. Well, maybe some very religious ones might accept it if it was packaged correctly.

    It’s a fine essay and a fine effort by Rollo, but frankly I wager the only women who will read it and actually learn something are in their 40’s and wondering “where did all the good men go?” — in other words, too late.

    However, all that said, I’ll do my part by attempting to get some girls young and old to read it.

  3. That’s a good short list for women but is there one for men. I’m 44 and I wanna be an alpha Chad. I’m so tired of being the dependable, stable guy that gets ignored. I’m fed up with expensive courses that is a bunch of fuckin’ fluff. I’ll do the work it’s just I get so much misinformation. The things I did in my youth to get women don’t work for me in my older age.

  4. they want to serve their impulses and their needs.

    As Stefan Moulyneux says… Let them serve their [primal, biology-bound, mindless] impulses and needs without the REWARDS of the welfare state for doing it.
    WELFARE rewards a return to animal behaviour — and it also roughly translates to them womenz still being paid by men. Just collectively and not on a person-to-person basis.

  5. Timely post. Two of my plates did some very stupid dumpable things which I called them out on.

    Both wrote LOOOOOOOOOOONG apologies basically begging me to take them back.

    More proof girls live for drama and WANT to WORK for your attention.

    I’ve ignored both so far. In the one case that lead to a flood of texts and offers of gifts, banging etc.

    A few insights here. Let shit go through Agree & Amplify and Amused Mastery so that when big shit happens and you call them out they see you as a MAN and not a whiny bitch.

    When you get an apology like these it means you’re in the driver’s seat and re-established frame. Don’t respond too quickly or they’ll be confused at what a push-over you are. They want to know they’ve WON you BACK somehow and being on double-secret probation means that earning your attention back is something they value.

  6. Illuminating essay in that it reveals just how thorough has been my own Blue Pill conditioning — and that is hailing from a conservative military family background

    Blue Pill is like the sand of the Iraqi desert – it gets into everything –

  7. Men having to live up to the burden of performance will expect something for it before letting a woman share in his benefits from carrying that burden. Likewise a woman is not going to be vulnerable unless she feels secure with a man enough to be submissive. With current feminist thought, women are to scared to be vulnerable with men, as the feminist social conditioning men have received has convinced them that being a weak man is appealing to women. Which sex is the most favored by our current system? Men are killing themselves literally due to their conditioned rejection of themselves, but redpill men are killing it due to the lack of competition. Cat women are such a trope now-days that “strong and brave” is just a projection covering sadness and desperation.

  8. I don’t know how many female readers Rollo has if any.

    Assuming that he has any, it is safe to assume they are mothers whose sons have gone though traumatizing, perhaps devastating breakups and hardships. Empirical self-inquiry…well, let them boys have it..

  9. I’ve read Roosh’s Lady and Rollo’s The Rational Male (once you get used to the tone you realize it’s because it’s directed to Men and that is how they talk to each other) and I didn’t found anything that I didn’t already know somehow. Although I would have put it in other words. So I suppport wholeheartedly this essay and the values women should add to the table. I always thought that if a masculine man is ready to fulfill my standards, then I must fulfill his, which he undoubtedly has. Unfortunatly I haven’t found my man. My one and only boyfriend (so no party years of cook caroussel riding) left me 3 years ago and no man has approached me sinced then. And I doubt one will truth be told, since I am now 41. So my SMV is around zero, regardless of how many values I bring to the table (at least I fear this now) and as it is stated more than once in the manoshere a good ‘quality’ man, who has options, would choose the young and sexy woman. Obviously I have chosen a wrong man.

  10. @Chris – come over to the Field Reports section (look at the link on the top of the page) and post your experiences with women and we’ll take it from there.

  11. All that said, how can a woman make herself more valuable to a man once the sexual side of the equation is satisfied? Women constantly complain about being “sexually objectified” by men.

    The female-objectification by the most female-objectifying of males pales before the average female-objectification and self-objectification by the average female.

  12. Women do not want to hear the truth.

    There is already a big market for giving women the ‘wrong’ dating advice, as laid down by blue pill law. It is usually dished out by men who are snake oil salesmen making money off a lie. And their own blue pill mindset.

    The biggest consumers in society are women. It’s easier to make a buck off them. Sell them a Disney love story and they will lap that shit up. So, blue pill conditioning is just compounded and brainwashed into them (and men) from the moment they wake to the moment they put their head on their Disney pillow.

    There is very much the narrative in the manosphere of ‘You need to to tell da wamen to sort themselves out’. You cannot tell women anything. They need to come to the realisation and truth under their own cognizance.

    To women the manosphere is just a bunch of whingeing, whining, misoginystic bitter men (they usually like to throw in ‘bald and fat’ to hammer their point home) I know different, you know different and Rollo knows different. I hope women do read Rollo’s essay and take something away and use that to become a better woman. A woman of value.

  13. It was a shock to my Blue Pill system when my wife expected me to drive her car when we were dating. From the earliest days of our relationship she insisted that I fill the dominant masculine role and she was going to fill the feminine role.

    That’s to be used as a tool too. (It’s hateful in many ways, if you ask me. If I have to be superior under every regard… am I not being scammed, again? She gets a great tool, superior to her, acknowledges this superiority of her tool to her, and is very glad she has got a superior tool and a great deal, and… I am supposed to draw satisfaction from this?)

    Old or new school, feminism-devised or “natural”, any relation with women sees the man as a tool.
    You have written to be loved is impossible, so I am not assuming you don’t know that.

    To me the only interesting set-up would be equality, with women having matured so hugely that equality would be possible/real. If we drive one thousand miles a month on our car, I see no reason why I must be a machine doing all the work at the wheel, while she enjoys her (at worst, because it’s possible that he is paying her) free chaffeur.

    In other words: due to mating market conditions, women lag tragically behind men in pretty much every… metric. Not least the willingness to do work, like driving the car, and the mental development needed to understand that it’s normal they drive it half of the time.
    In fact, if the “feminism-propagandised” ones “think” they should drive it half of the time, and then they feel bad when a man lets this happen, it is because they are in reality like all other women, behind the superficially-believed propaganda. They too don’t want to drive. It’s just that cunning propaganda has split them into a half that believes it wants things which in fact will make her unhappy, and an unconscious part which wants what all other normal women want, with the conscious part feeling ashamed for the unconscious one. Neurosis, in other words.

    But they all want the tool, the tool superior to them, featuring great usability.

    I’ll respect and date any of ’em some centuries later, if they are ready and matured enough by then.

    Till then, they are a reproductive chance, tools, the same as we are to them.

  14. When I saw the title of this post, I thought Mrs. Tomassi had divorce-raped Rollo (God forbid), renamed the blog “The Emotional Female”, and was about to announce her follow-up post, “How to Feng Shui that Man out of your Life”.

    Thankfully, I was mistaken. Excellent post as always, Rollo.

  15. Dear TT, thank you for your honest answer. I really appreciate your input.

    With the quote you’ ve posted, I tried to refer to Rollos concept of the soulmate myth. There is no ONE but only good ones and bad ones. Since English is not my native language, perhaps I failed to make it clear.

    Or, since you pointed out the similarity to the Man’s blue pill conditioning, perhaps even if I have a ‘conciously or superficial understanding’ of the concepts Rollo has pointed out, they still haven’t overcome the ‘subconcious internalised believes I have got conditioned with all these years. And that’s why I choose to say it this way. Knowing something isn’t the same as internalising it. And so still I think in the feminist ways. Which results in me not noticing mens advances …

    So I will work on that. Thank you once again. 🙂

  16. @anon

    Rollo started his article on Open Hypergamy with

    “… the secrecy previously necessary for hypergamy and women’s pluralistic sexual strategy is rapidly being replaced with not just a new, overt, social openness about it, but a flaunting, triumphalism about how men are expected to embrace this new openness about it”

    This was over five years ago. The mainstream does not use the term “Hypergamy”, however one can openly discuss it using mainstream terminology.

  17. ” Men having to live up to the burden of performance will expect something for it before letting a woman share in his benefits from carrying that burden. Likewise a woman is not going to be vulnerable unless she feels secure with a man enough to be submissive. With current feminist thought, women are to scared to be vulnerable with men, as the feminist social conditioning men have received has convinced them that being a weak man is appealing to women. Which sex is the most favored by our current system? Men are killing themselves literally due to their conditioned rejection of themselves, but redpill men are killing it due to the lack of competition. Cat women are such a trope now-days that “strong and brave” is just a projection covering sadness and desperation.”


    Well said.

    The purpose of being red pilled is to understand the nature of women. That understanding should not bring about anger and discontent. The devil is always in the details.

  18. This is an excellent post with some very important points. If I hadn’t moved from Blue Pill guys to my “self” red pilled husband I may not have recognized the truth in Rollo’s writings, but I have seen the difference in myself – there’s a reason I dumped all my Blue Pill boyfriends, and have stuck with my husband through some tough times. The moment I got with him, I knew there was something very different about him – Rollo simply explained to me what it was. For that I will always be grateful.

    Ever since I discovered Rollo (January 2019) I have been keeping an eye open for female voices who exemplify and teach red-pilled philosophy to women. There aren’t many. The standard conservatives like Suzanne Venker don’t really appeal to me – what Suzanne writes about relationships is excellent, but my husband and I are both very left leaning politically (proof that TRP TRANSCENDS culture) so I can’t really embrace her.

    There is another movement which I’ve been enjoying, but it’s based on masculine and feminine archetypes, and I know Rollo thinks Jung is BS. The writings of Gillian Pothier and Nicole Gayle are interesting though. They recognize men for the “Kings” they are, and that our role as women is to “serve, support and submit to the King”. I can get with that. It’s not Red Pill though, that’s for sure.

    Finally, there is a psychotherapist named Abdul Saad of Vital Mind Psychology who has a good video about why narcissistic traits are the ones that have a snowball’s chance in hell of breaking though the Strong Independent (masculine) Women that we’ve created in Western society. Again, kind of Jungian, but well spoken:

  19. Back in the previous century there was a fad for people to quit bad habits such as smoking via the use of a rubber band. Put the rubber band around a wrist, make sure it’s not cutting off circulation but also is not floppy-loose. The band must be snug enough that it can snap the wrist.

    When the desire for a cigarette hits, snap the wrist. Twice if need be. That’s all, that’s it. I guess that the idea was to break a train of stimulus-response, and reinforce a new neural pathway (they didn’t call it that, but that’s what was going on). The low-level reinforcement over and over again worked for some people.

    Men in hierarchies give and receive instruction, orders, etc. We expect each other to hear and understand things, ideally the first time. “Do not run this engine without 3 to 4 liters of oil in the crankcase” means what it says, “I forgot” is not an excuse. “Don’t do that” is supposed to work. So some men get in the mental habit of “I said this, you heard this, now do this” with women, figuring that correcting behavior one or two times should be enough…”She’s a grown-ass adult, I told her what to do and not do, WTF?”.

    Of course we all have bad habits that creep up and require vigilance to suppress. Smoking, blowing off maintenance, spending too much time in comment boxes…

    Little reminders can help. I had a supervisor once who insisted that all his direct reports should look around them at least once a day and ask themselves, “What’s not getting done?”, then go and do it. HIs advice to new employees was to keep on top of things by thinking “What am I supposed to be doing right now?” and sometimes that worked by refocusing a man on the short term and longer term jobs. Sometimes it failed utterly, depending on the individual.

    All that said, my advice to women is not new: Be a companion, not a competitor. That’s short enough to be easy to remember. Yeah, solipsism blurs the vision, but still this should be easy to see.

    Ask yourself “Is this what a companion would do?” or “Am I competing or complimenting?” often enough, it should become habitual.

    Religious married women should commit Proverbs 14: 1 to memory:

    The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish woman tears it down with her own hands”.

    Building up or tearing down? It is counter cultural. Some very good things are.

  20. Thank you SO much for writing this post. I’m a woman who discovered your blog recently and have been binge reading your posts every chance I get. Of course it’s hurtful to hear negative things about yourself, but that’s part of every person’s journey in improving themselves. You gotta sit with the uncomfortable truths and either make a change or stay willfully ignorant.

    Your posts are typically more thought provoking and open ended, but I like that this one is more “solution” oriented. I know you’re not looking for praise, but I appreciate it nonetheless and look forward to reading more.

  21. I would also like to add that not only is this not triggering to me as a woman, but that Rollo has made me a better wife! Feminism taught me to battle against that which drew me to my husband. Yeah, fuck that.

  22. Chris

    “I’m 44 and I wanna be an alpha Chad.”

    Step 1 – realize that no one that has any hope at all of being referred to as an “Alpha Chad” would ever refer to themselve (or anyone else really) as an Alpha Chad.

  23. “Step 1 – realize that no one that has any hope at all of being referred to as an “Alpha Chad” would ever refer to themselve (or anyone else really) as an Alpha Chad”


    giving it a name, calling it out… sounds like early step of action plan. the abstact terms aren’t so important as the idea that there is a tangible goal and paths to achieve it

    “I’m 44 and I wanna be an alpha Chad.”

    i’ve seen two ways to be idgaf, which is necessary step to what sentient et al call dpa platinum rule


    one: be a literal thug with nothing to lose. lots of freedom, level of power dependent on many factors

    two: have “fuck you” money, excellent umbrella insurance, aggressive attorney on retainer, liberally use ndas with females, make sure they all know you crush people with litigation and are vindictive as hell


    “Blue Pill is like the sand of the Iraqi desert – it gets into everything –”


    good thing that like iraq and its sand, blue pill and its effects can be completely avoided through education, planning and wise decison making

  24. Rollo, am I reading a number of positive comments from women? Is that the penny starting to drop. Splendid show old boy.

    It’s been a good week for me. New job. New guitar. New socks and underwear. Crypto sucks at the moment but it’ll be back up by next week and seeing women starting to ‘get it’. It’s better than Christmas.

  25. A pragmatic essay for a 21st century female readership.
    Also a useful magnifying glass for any man.

    Just reading that short-list of value-adds as written, I know for a fact most American women are going to be “OMG I am just shaking right now!!!” offended and indignant. Trump won again!!!
    That’s how bad matters are.
    You are so right, Rollo. File right under “Women Don’t Want To Be Told Shit”.
    But pay close attention, you dummies while she reads out her 4-page requirements list to a stadium of women screaming “Preach!”

    I could be wrong, but I think the biggest hurdle for American women to let down their guard and start to see men, or any individual man differently, is his competence.
    I don’t entirely blame them.
    There is an abundance of incompetent dudes out there.
    Most can’t repair or build anything. They lack creativity, modeling, interest or confidence to at least try and experiment. Too many lack any work ethic to “get it done”.
    So there is perhaps understandably a mix of fear and disgust with the landscape of men right now, and a whole lotta Little Red Hen “Well, then I’ll do it myself! And she did!!” going on.
    Of course, this is not a license for women to be caustic, -273 degrees Kelvin absolute zero ice queens either.

  26. This is a bit of an instant classic, as measured by ideas all in one place. One can always quibble with the writing, but so what…

    Peterson was the first person I heard say that most people have jobs, not careers. It’s a fitting inclusion on this list.

    Embedded in the list is men’s burden of performance. Hope the guys who are struggling now realize there is no way around this. Sooner you accept this, the better.

  27. @Chris Clayton

    *** I’m so tired of being the dependable, stable guy that gets ignored. I’m fed up with expensive courses that is a bunch of fuckin’ fluff. I’ll do the work it’s just I get so much misinformation. The things I did in my youth to get women don’t work for me in my older age.***

    There’s plenty of ways to get to where you want to go. I was 44 when I made that change. I’m now 54 and banging girls in their 20’s who look up to me as some sort of sexual beacon, I’ve now addressed how to take the “fear” out of decision-making. You can do this too.

    But a big part of this is to unplug from the whole idea that somehow women want and expect men to be accommodating. The don’t. They want to be lead by someone they look up to.

    This is the biggest counter-intuitive part of the Red Pill—the discrepancy between what women SAY they want and what they ACTUALLY want.

    Understanding that is a critical first step to getting out of that funk you’re now in. It’s going to feel strange at first. Women you know are going to react negatively—congratulations you’re being shit-tested a first sign of attraction.

    This shit is hard because it’s all about unlearning a whole lifetime’s worth of social conditioning. But set some realistic goals for yourself. Read everything you can starting with:

    The Game, Mystery Method, No More Mr. Nice Guy (Which has exercises in it), Watch The Pick Up Artist series. The good news is that most of this stuff is easily available. The hard part is re-programming your mindset.

  28. Have I triggered @Rollo? Hehehehehe…As for the rant that follows, all I can say is wow. And to the adoring fans, you girls are just so cute. Maybe you can all agree to watch the same porn simultaneously and jerk off together on a hangout?

    What the fuck?

    @Chris – Listen to @Fleeze, he’s spot on in many ways, except he slaps women around and maybe worse. Point being that you first have to identify the problem. Let me put it in a slightly different frame for your consideration.

    What I realized when I truly digested the Red Pill is that my romantic, chivalric ideas about sex, women and intersexual relations in general weren’t getting me what I wanted. As I further examined this, I realized that it wasn’t even what I wanted. When I got very honest with myself about – on these pages in fact – what my true appetites were and were not, I realized I was ashamed of them. I use to be Mr. Family Guy. My post-divorce life could be portrayed as me reflexively playing out marriage courtship rituals without me ever being willing to marry. Even when I gave in to my sexual depravity, I felt guilty and bad about it. I was a “good man”. I was like a “corporate bad boy”, relatively transgressive but she’d choose a biker over me in a heartbeat given half a chance, lol. Make sense? Like I was caged, restrained, constrained, prolapsed, under-expressed – my impulses leeching out but still coiled and mostly unreleased. Girls picked me for this. But on this and every other level, I was really like an unkept promise for women.

    TRP forced me to stop and just ask. What is it that I actually want in terms of sex? Not love, not companionship – just in terms of pure lust. And I realized it was sex with young, hot, nubile women. 18-23. Petite. If fact, this was what always attracted me but I felt bad about it as I got older. I shamed myself, in this and many ways. I was bound up in shame in terms of my relationship w women. But at the same time, I had “natural” tendencies and am socially dominant. I was also blessed with boyish good looks of a certain type that aged pretty well. I had enough experience with women to know that a lot of what I believed was BS on some level. As I looked back, I realized that this dualistic mindset was huge source of existential angst for me.

    I also had an abundance mentality. Post marriage, I promised myself to never stay in a bad relationship. I gave women warnings and i bounced many of them from my life when they crossed the line one too many times. It’s interesting how they all start doing this within about 6 months actually. But then I realized I was chasing traditional dating. I was an unkept promise to these women again, in that I presented myself as a guy who was eligible for the long haul (without ever quite saying it) but never doing it. i also didn’t want some divorcee with kids, I would never play father to another man’s kids – widows are different. I’ve dated a couple of them. They are just sad though, banging them is like banging single mothers (I don’t bang single mothers) – like shooting fish in a barrel. They catch feelings when you hold their hands…The girls I fuck? If I catch a whiff of feelz they run for the hills. Hehe…2019 is a trip.

    But none of it worked or got me what I wanted. I’d had bouts of being dominant sexually, but mostly back in my drinking days. This one woman I saw, a petite NB8, 25, at least, was into blow. We’d do our lines and then have insane, dominant, borderline abusive sex. I almost choked her to death one night – and she was cumming straight through it. But when I stopped drinking, I wrote this off as my perversity. Hint boys, all women like that shit to some degree – and note the word “degree”. Calibration is crucial for dominance, most guys play-acting it fuck it up. Girls tell me what it’s like to be with guys like that Azizi Ansari chode, ramming his fingers down a girls throat while in her doorway, within 2 minutes of first sexual contact. He’s trying to “be alpha” – while I’m naturally dominant. And yes, I have had my hand down girl’s throats – and they loved it when it happened. It wasn’t planned. It just happened.

    There were levels of my awakening. First was that I realized I wanted young hotties. Then I started “gaming” for realz and that was the bigger wakeup. It was doing PUA stuff that had me actualize and confront myself. I had to realize that I actually believed a lot of Blue Pill BS even though I’d in theory been Red Pill for 2-3 years already. I had women on a pedestal still. Only via pickup could I work through this. Keep in mind I have natural social dominance and at least an above average SMV. I get IOIs.

    This is when my split with the Red Pill community here and elsewhere began to grow. You see, as I did the work in the real world, I could see how I poorly I saw myself. I saw how little I actually understood about women and how they see things. I was so consumed with my need and my insecurities about women at some basic level that I was unable to be thoughtful about any of it. I was a bundle of instincts and reflexes.

    And then after I saw through it all I became so angry. In fact, my anger about this had been simmering away for a long time. Much of that anger was directed at myself. This is the worst place to get stuck on your RP journey. Again, gaming moved me through it because gaming works. You see women interact with you differently soon after you internalize these ideas. You also see women differently, understanding – and in my case empathizing with them too- them much more deeply. I enjoy women so much more now.

    But be clear. I internalized game/PUA. I didn’t follow anyone else’s pattern. I used what I learned via running sets and approaching and working through the phases of interest, attraction, arousal etc to create my own approach. I still spike until interest, I still understand that I have to generate interest. @Chris – in some ways this is the most important aspect of game that you have to get as an older guy. Learn how to detect interest and learn how to generate interest. I only trigger off of IOIs, period. Work on your posture, put a sly grin on your face and some dark sunglasses. Saunter down the street. Smile at pretty girls. Let your look linger on the ones who smile back. Enjoy women’s beauty and sexual energy.

    As I began to just fuck for the first time in my life, I immediately noticed that women liked it as rough as I could deliver in some ways. Then I ended up seeing this girl who was a professional domme, lol. Not for me – I was the guy she banged on the side every once in a while when she didn’t have a boyfriend. She liked how I cooked a steak…But she was the most overtly filthy girl I’d ever fucked to date. The domme thing was just a gig, she didn’t have to have sex with the guys as she didn’t want to be a prostitute. She’d actually done porn in Miami for two weeks, I’m wondering if I should mention her porn name here?? Nah…Funny how girl logic works, lol. But at any rate, I was a guy she’d just fuck. And she lead me to dominate her by encouraging some play acting and placing my hand on her head to push it down on me etc. Turns out girls love having their knees by their ears…Who knew?

    Actually I did – sort of. In fact, as I gave into these impulses more and more, I realized they were instinctive. Be clear I’m not a sadist. I am not intentionally causing pain, even though some discomfort is definitely happening and get no pleasure from causing pain. But remember, I’m full maniac at this point – we are both putting some extreme energy into it. And they love it, which is the biggest surprise. Girls love being dominated and taken and tossed and around and fucked like filthy whores. Every last goddamn one of them. Including your Moms, Rollo’s wife and most especially. SJF’s daughter (and for the record I truly hope my daughter’s alpha husband, 6’1″ and ripped, brilliant engineer, is giving her the schtuping she craves).

    Now it’s become my thing. I openly seek out young subs online. They “opt in” to me from the start. It’s in my fucking profiles online, lol. I don’t try and sneak up on them. Sometimes my first text is, “are you already wet, just hearing from me?” and they often say “yes”. i’m not fucking kidding. You must egg on the fantasy, seduction is a narrative that a woman wants to be in, a narrative you must frame. And you must enjoy doing so. At this point it comes naturally for me. Women want to be seduced. It’s not going to far to say they are sitting their waiting for you to do so, and they dress and act the way they do to arouse you to the point where you will actually try.

    A word about “arousal”. One of the reasons this all works for me at age 57 is that I only go after women I find intensely attractive. My heat is dialed up to 11 – this is mandatory for dominance. And women feed off of my desire for them. I realize now that women see my arousal by them as a measure of their SMV. They all like some version of dirty talk too, it’s interesting. From “you love being my little fucktoy” to “you filthy whore, who can you let me fuck you with my greasy dirty cock uncovered?”, it’s fucking unbelievable what girls like. And a girl taught me to speak to her that way, it literally never once occurred to me to do so. But when it works, holy shit…heheh.

    @Chris – A perfect first step. Now, go get Mystery Method’s pick up courses. I mean it. There may be some newer guys who are good, but I tried a bunch of different teachers on PUA and my take was that they all derived from Mystery in most ways. And Mystery goes so deep on each stage of game that you cannot help but learn it, it’s phenomenal. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you who shit it out of date – psychology hasn’t gone out of date. The guy is the master of masters, there is live video him you can see for proof. The guy was so legit. He changed my life – and I’m the last guy on earth would have run around promoting “Mystery Method” in the past. But I don’t give a shit how it sounds or looks. It worked for me like nothing else.

    It works. Women can be aroused by more than looks and height. I’m 5.’8″. I have had a sub who was 5’11”. You have social proof just by being older and alive. You have social proof if you are a father but don’t talk about your kids much, it turns them off. As one sub told me recently, “you can’t pick your father but you can pick your daddy”. Hehe.

    Now? My limitations in life are mostly self-imposed. I know how to traverse the world as it presents itself to me, my issue is that I mostly don’t give a fuck anymore. Yet another position that came naturally to me as I embraced my true nature, as I took ownership of what I mostly felt and thought about the world. Zero fucks given.

    The Red Pill taught me that I’m meat in a grinder that I didn’t sign up for. So fucking what? Wah, wah, wah. So is everyone else on this earth, including women.

    I guess I must close by responding to @Rollo’s essay. On one level he seems be very angered by how women have run amok with their newly held power. He’s at least surprised by it and thinks it shouldn’t be so. I ask you – and everyone here – why that should be the case? Did men not run amok with their power in a patriarchal society in some ways? And don’t just think about western cultures, think across humanity and time. I mean, if we are doing collective rage and judgment, is there nothing on the male side of the scale?

    I’ll close with this. A pickle can never become a cucumber again. We aren’t going “back” boys. Choose a strategy and gameplan that serves you in today’s occurring world. Or not. But whatever any of you do, please do not ever whine in the way this essay does – it’s embarrassing, or it should be.

    Jesus fuck, ultimately this essay should be entitled:

    Ode to the Chode. Or maybe A Paean to the cuck? A Voice for Elliot Rodgers?

  29. A word on submissives and “Daddy issues”. Turns out many of you pussies don’t only disappoint your girlfriends and wives, you also leave a void in your daughter’s lives. Turns out you shouldn’t have been kissing their asses all these years after all.

    Daughters of alpha dogs don’t end up in the sack with me. The ones who do are turned on by a high value older man, as they feel an emptiness, a sort of baseline insecurity due to having a sad sack pussy for a dad. Call it exploitative – I call it a community service. These girls are clearly getting what they want.

  30. Look at the petty cheapshots from Palma. And for the record I did own an Audi with two turbos, you fucking whiny gash.

  31. @Palma – You know what they all tell me? They’ve been waiting for a guy “who’s worth it”. Spot on brother.

  32. @Palma – My mistake. I only saw the one comment and I thought it was a cheap shot. Don’t know what you were getting at but the next comment is 100%. I may have misfired. But I do love driving a high performance bit of german engineering. Even better knowing i got it for 25% off the market price. Same price as a used Subaru I was going to buy, lol. A self-realized mane is a good shepherd of his resources. I haven’t paid list for most things I buy since the RP. I shop for the best things at an advantageous price.

    PUA hint: I bought my Audi for 6k off Kelly Blue Book by using the same digital marketing knowledge I use to find young nubile nymphomaniacs. I use the online world to my advantage – just like everything else. I don’t complain about the fucking hill, I become good at climbing hills and work the problem. Period. I’m out for my objective, my outcome.

    Even more important is my mental hygiene. Honest question for all of you. If the POV expressed in this essay is in the foreground of your consciousness, how could you ever be happy? Fulfilled? Content? How could you ever accept women who don’t submit to you?

    @Rollo is asking every women to submit when they have have. They have acquiesced to marrying a man who wasn’t “worth it” but hey never submitted.

    Look at it this way. A woman’s submission is the vestige of agency she’s allowed to retain as free human being treated with dignity. The reason it’s so sweet as it has to be given, it can’t be “taken”, even though “taking” a woman is the say to do it. Calibration being key again, and being real and connected and it being mutual all are baseline. Many men are incompetent as they view this kind of sexuality as something they can learn through technique. No, it’s about getting in touch with your feral desire. you don’t need instructions. I also really care about these girls. Well, with one I did hate fuck her, and she kind of knew it. Couldn’t believe how fucking hot that was actually, hehe. But I digress.

  33. “I’m getting IOI’s everywhere ”

    Open Hypergamy is real and getting worse. On Halloween I ended up at my local, went there with a friend’s wife, met another friend and his wife, and her friend and her husband, then two women who came their to see me. Electric IOIs going on from all the women in the group what with the lowered inhibitions of the night and a few drinks. Plus two waitresses and the woman manager getting in on it. Unsolicited female to male Kino, hugs, breaking space norms, competing for attention… It was kinda nuts.

    So much so the manager laughed and said something like “this is unreal. You have quite a group around you.” Shaking her head. I said “hah. Maybe we should run an auction on me”. And started auctioneer like “do have 100 100 100 110 110 120 130 thank you” and the guy bartenders were laughing and she shakes her head laughing and says “you are such an asshole” and smiles and goes back to work.

    I’ll post up a FR eventually.

  34. Palma

    Yeah they are all looking to party. Just trying to figure out if you know how to make it happen. Have had the same with some od the staff here, talk about me banging them, some have tried to get me to go out with them after hours, come to house parties. I remind them I’m married… They always say “why are the guys you want married or gay”…

    Because most guys are too reserved I guess and too serious amd too weak of frame.

    “but I’d be really grateful for her opinion.. ”

    I wouldn’t couch it that way. Recognizing attraction is very powerful and you don’t havw to be explicit. I’d just say we should hang out sometime outside work and when you have her number work it from there to come by.

  35. @Palma

    Two things.

    “I say I’m gonna do black tie service of alcohol on board and she says “you gonna do that just wearing a black tie and thong?

    I say “nah, I go commando” she says “never” I say “shall i tell you the story of why I went commando?”

    Her laughing “yer”

    Me “well my mother was a drug addict and I left home at 18 I was so broke, living in a flat with no heat or internal walls, only had £5 and I had a date. My clothes were good but my underwear was awful and it was decision, do I spend £5 on new underwear or go on date. (Beer about £1 a pint back then) So I threw away underwear, went on date and bought her back and banged her til she couldn’t walk and been commando ever since””

    You see how her saying the word “thong” triggered the association with “underwear/commando” which then triggered your memory to search and bring forth that commando story (which tells her about the kinda of guy you are – good at sex/preselection)? What you can do (what I do) is arrange for this to happen “organically”, by find key words in your stories, so that you can talk about those things, that will give context for you to smoothly transition into your story (keywords I see here are: “18/being young”, “broke”, “dates”, “underwear”, “£5/money”). So that you won’t have to rely on luck/accident (her bring up thong).

    “thinking of asking her round for her opinion on “colours etc..” for my place bc it’s a building site and I’m refurbish it. You know just half hour or so on her way home but I’d be really grateful for her opinion.. then proceed as usual.. thoughts?”

    Good plausible deniable reason to bring her back to your place. But what you want to do first, is establish a sexual frame. So that she’s agreeing to go back to your place to “give you her expert opinion” under a sexual frame. Without that sexual frame, she’ll agree but then be hesitant/resistant to take it further.

    Someone that does this really well, is Bacchus. Asking girls for their opinion on his portraits under a sexual frame. See this LR for inspiration:

  36. @Rollo

    “Be sexy, learn to seduce him.
    Initiate sex with him.
    Have genuine sexual desire for him (and let him know when you don’t) and be a genuinely enthusiastic lover.”

    Aren’t all these things dependent upon a woman’s attraction to a man? If a woman isn’t attracted to a man, will she be able to get herself to seduce him or initiate sex with him? And if a woman doesn’t have desire for a man, will she be able to tell him? Won’t her hindbrain argue that the man should “just get it?” Won’t a woman’s enthusiasm during sex be dependent upon her attraction to the man?

    Seems that these things are dependent upon a woman’s hindbrain and talking about them is like speaking dog to a cat or like expecting a cat to act like a dog. She might be able to understand them, but her hindbrain might keep her from acting on them.

  37. Thankfully, (or unfortunately – depending who you are) 99.9999% of the women in the USA will never read this and then take the advise.
    In the mean while, women are all chasing the top tier men and will continue to do so.

    A man today has to be the double chocolate brownie on the menu. Not the salad. All women cheat on their diets. Most men are salads – a “healthy” relationship for women. A “boy friend”. But when the cravings hit, they just don’t care.

    My 7 women in 3 states make my life sound like the Eagles “Take It Easy” and there could be more – but I simply run out of free time.
    They are quite happy to let me drift into their lives every 4 weeks or so. They want more but are pinned down by kids, jobs and surrounded by dad-bods locally trying to hit them up online.

  38. Kings and Queens no longer rule, Princesses do, and they don’t do laundry, cooking, or reading essays.

  39. Never happened. Ever.

    In fact, doesn’t happen at my company with 600+ employees unless extreme examples.

    Last time I recall was years ago when a guy said ” I can see your nipples” through your shirt and proceeded to poke it with his index finger….in a cafeteria full of onlookers. The girl and 10others went to HR. The other was a chick had a married guys phone number for work purposes and would call him for a booty call whenever she was drunk.

    Actually there’s more of an issue with people fucking or trying to fuck on the premises during business hours. Lol, a few months back a pair of panties were found on the floor in a conference room. Cameras have since been installed.

  40. Dammit. This post crushed my dreams. I hoped Rollo would write a book for women. I read a lot of the posts and watch his youtube, but the information is minimally relevant to dealing with the day-to-day issues women deal with as single women, wives, mothers…etc. The blog post is good, but it is too general. The theory needs to be applied in the nuances of daily life.

    There is nothing out there for us women. NOTHING.

    There was something – “what women never hear ( but Sir Guy, the author, passed away and left us in the dark. I hoped Rollo would navigate in this direction but I guess it’s not his thing.

  41. “There is nothing out there for us women. NOTHING.”

    Don’t be silly. There’s an absolute shit ton of neo-Maoist propaganda, except in China of course.

  42. @Alexa

    Step one: be a companion, not competition.
    Also: choose wisely, treat kindly.

    There are churchgoing women who have a “marshmallow” problem: they want to submit to their man but he’s soft and not masculine. That is a different problem than most women have.

  43. Alexa
    The blog post is good, but it is too general. The theory needs to be applied in the nuances of daily life.

    Well…it’s almost like you want a kind of Field Report.

  44. @Palma I’ll weigh in:

    **Her (touching my leg and laughing) “I knew you were terrible”.

    Have not taken the bat to the fence, bc overt boyfriend talk, but thinking of asking her round for her opinion on “colours etc..” for my place bc it’s a building site and I’m refurbish it. You know just half hour or so on her way home but I’d be really grateful for her opinion.. then proceed as usual.. thoughts?***

    As with any social circle game when you ask one of the group—whoever it may be—you need to do it with absolute plausible deniability to avoid any future awkwardness.

    Instead of asking her over for “opinions” which will make it so clearly about YOU…make it about HER.

    Here’s my go-to response to these situations. I always frame the girl as the trouble maker. It immediately get HER qualifiying herself and sets you up as the one who is higher value.

    Her: “I knew you were terrible”

    Me: “Terrible knows terrible…”

    Her: immediately qualifying herself

    Me: Well, i’m now in the midst of remodelling (or whatever) I’m TERRIBLE at these things…

    Her: Blah Blah blah. If you catch the IOI THEN proceed

    Me: “Well if you promise to behave you can come over and help me colour coordinate….what’s your schedule?”

    HOLD EYE CONTACT AND WAIT. She will immediately understand and respond.

    She may just start saying she couldnt’ come over because you’ll hit on her. Again frame her: “I’m the one who should be afraid…i’d have to hide the knives”….

    If she blows you off simply say: “Just as well, I’d have to child-proof my place anyway so you didn’t hurt yourself on the sharp edges…” or some such and leave it.

    Believe me…she will be thinking about THAT the entire time because embedded in that is the fact you invited her over to bang.

    The strategy here is always to make these women qualify themselves by framing them as trouble, as the ones you should be afraid of etc…

  45. “Feminism has created a situation where women are utterly powerless in the pursuit of what they actually crave.”

    Feminism? You need to unpack this.

  46. Palmasailor
    She also regularly talks about her bf, and my brainwashed state means my go to understanding of this means she doesn’t want to be hit on, but the hair behind the ears and laughter and eye contact say something different.

    What they say vs. what they do, eh?

    Married men should know this applies to their wives, too.

    Because AWALT.

  47. Hey Rollo,

    I think there are two ways guys can be ‘purple pilled’. The second one is the most hopefull and can lead to become ‘red pilled’. I like to explain:

    In the latest episode of Rule Zero you mentioned that some guys aren’t ready for the truth. The Disney dream is shattered and that’s to much for them…(you told about a guy you met at ‘that convention’, who got raged)

    Other guys have red pill knowledge and still want to combine it with blue pill ideals. This is the first way. (not ‘first’ as in ‘best; , but as in ‘most well known’)

    About the second way to become purple pilled:

    Before I found The rationale male I found pua’s, dating books and coaches and all kind of self-help litterature focused on intersexual dynamics. They can, at best, be described as ‘purple pill’.

    Like Corey Wayne, Zan Perrion and James Marshall (from the Natural Lifestyle).

    The main reason I am glad I found them (beside the reason James Marshall is a great storyteller) is that it became easier for me to swallow the red pill when I found your books, Rollo, and Richard Cooper’s videos a few years later.

    When you learn how to swim in the babypool, next thing you do isn’t diving in the big wide ocean. Wayne, Perrion and Marshall are the middle steps. The lakes i needed so bad. Wayne even recomended to read Rollo Tomassi in a few videos. I’m convinced i couldn’t read your books without this ‘step’. Or maybe I could, but would be red pill raged too.

    So the first way is (wrong in my opinion) Blue – Red Pill knowledge – Purple practice.
    The second way is: Blue – Purple -Red.
    Third: Blue -Red (for the few who can accepted the triuth immediately)

    Don’t get me wrong. Purple by itself isn’t ‘right’at all, but it is ‘right’ as a middle step to become red pill.
    Purple as a middle step. What’s your take on that?

    best regards,

    A Dutchman.

  48. What has feminism done? It has weakened most men so that they are unattractive to women. Feminism has encouraged women to ride the carousel and delay childbearing so that they can pursue careers. But women can still get pregnant with alpha seed. And the apex alpha will support single women with children if they don’t want to pursue a career. I don’t see this as making women powerless.

  49. Why not do a book for the womenfolk, Rollo? You could title it “A Modest Proposal for Preventing Women from Suffering the Consequences of their own Poor Decisions and not Being a Burden on Society”. It’d be in a similar vein.

    And yes, a pink cover would make it much more palatable.

  50. You could title it “A Modest Proposal for Preventing Women from Suffering the Consequences of their own Poor Decisions and not Being a Burden on Society”. It’d be in a similar vein.

    How many of those do you think would sell?

  51. It’s funny to consider that if women WERE able to recognize and clearly articulate to men when their hindbrain interpretation of their reproductive situation is affecting them so that solutions could be enacted…. they wouldn’t be women and we probably wouldn’t like them as much as we do.

    It seems one of the contradictions of being a man is being basically rational, but loving the irrational.

  52. @Liz

    Dunno. How many did Swift sell of his essay?

    It doesn’t matter what Rollo would call such a book, or how he does the cover, or even if he were to publish it under a female nom de plume, because (as we are told above) “Women don’t wanna be told shit”. The content of any such book would simply be dismissed as satire. Or “trolling”, like Rich Cooper’s tweet about six things women need to do to get/keep a man. Look at how much flak Lori Alexander gets from women for her material. Will women only read or listen to what that they want to be told?

    In any case, women (like Alexa here) would complain that any advice in such a book (like in the section “Old Ideas” above) are dismissed as being “too general”. There are no cheat codes. Women, like men, just have to do the bloody work that is required and do the best with what they’ve got (but much earlier in life).

  53. “It seems one of the contradictions of being a man is being basically rational,”

    Men tend to be somewhat more rational than women, but lots of men are very irrational. Lots of men make decisions based on emotions. Just like most women.

    The problem with most generalizations is distribution.

  54. @ASD :
    “Men tend to be somewhat more rational than women, but lots of men are very irrational. Lots of men make decisions based on emotions. Just like most women.”

    I have to agree with your on that. I still have bad memories from trying to warn a couple of Beta chumps to dump their girlfriends because they were whores who were clearly cheating on them.

    Long story short : they ignored my warnings. Continued being cuckolded . One of them got an STD .
    Now, like girls, they pretend none of that happened . Keep dating sluts. Keep getting cheated on.

    Lesson learned : Betas have similar mental patterns to women. Irrational, dumb and led by emotions.

  55. “I’m leaving, but we have men who have been credibly accused of intentional acts of sexual violence and remain in boardrooms, on the Supreme Court, in this very body and…in the Oval Office,” Rep. Katie Hill said in her final remarks from the House floor”

    “Victim” Katie Hill

    and her staffer/throuple…

  56. Epstein + behind the scenes actors funding his enterprise (island, yacht, plane, lavish accomodations, security) + underage girls + videos of sex acts => blackmail, suborning of govt. officials, suborning of the media, political favors

    Epstein getting caught => Epstein’s “suicide”

    Broken by “Faux” News and Dr. Baden

    Funny how “Faux” News keeps doing real journalism and breaking stories.

    But they don’t fit the “woke” narrative, so all you “wankers”, er, “wokers” can go back to sleep.

  57. @ Sentient

    Yup, your right – classic beard. Keanu Reeves is officially now entered in the lineup batting for the other side. Expect that official announcement shortly in the nee year

    Call it just a hunch, but the evidence is right in front of everyone’s nose. She is no where near the best he could do if hetro, nor is she anywhere close to “46”. Maybe 10 years ago she was in that zip code, but not anymore.

  58. It’s bad friends.

    At a recent family gathering, I related the story of how one of my ancestors at the age of 60, surviving his wife and two of his sons, married a woman who was 18. I related that times were hard in the 1800’s and she most likely benefited greatly from this. One of my divorced nieces scoffed at this. The soy-boy she’s dating said, “Well that doesn’t make it right.” I didn’t pursue this but, apparently, they could not get past the idea that this was somehow sexual exploitation.

    1. @If-I-Fell. In today’s society that equates to a Sugar Baby and Sugar Daddy arrangement. Which, when viewed through a feminist lens is empowering for the woman but the man is somehow a pervert and a creep. Even if there is genuine love between the 2 he is still labeled as a creepy, sexual predator and even though she is classed as a woman of 18 years it is still thought that she has been coerced somehow.

      I’m 52. I was recently dating a woman of 32 (that ended because she thought she was 22). A woman in work said it was ‘creepy’. The takeaway I got from that was the woman, who said it was creepy, is in her 40s and overweight. Say no more.

  59. @Rollo

    ” In the 1800s, men’s interpretation of women was different therefore many a Red Pill cases went undocumented, even unnoticed.

    To solve modern problems, you need to apply Red Pill, not going back to Blue Pill days.”

    Wait, men’s interpretation was different in the 1800s–the Blue Pill days? So today, men’s interpretation is Red Pill? I don’t follow the logic.

  60. Men should never copy other men ( just some of their habits ).

    I don’t give many shits about what someone is saying. Talk.

    Like, I don’t give one shit about Epstein or some conspiracy theory because I have other things in life to do that directly affect me and what I have to do.😂

  61. Notable

    Pretty surprised this is in my link feed…

    a) That it hasn’t been purged
    b) The comments are overwhelmingly supportive
    c) the majority of supportive comments appear from women.

    a crack in Teh Narrative?

    [PS Watch the lion video… lolz]

    [PPS – not an endorsement of this guy]

    “”The real power of a man is in the size of the smile of the woman sitting next to him”.

    Knowing yourself & your natural essence are essential to have happy and balanced relationships.

    Women only feel safe and comfortable around a man who are comfortable in his natural masculine essence.

    Men who don’t understand women think they are crazy, materialistic or never satisfied.

    The reality is~!
    Women tend to be wiser than men as they understand more than they know~.

    It is the nature of feminine energy to be unsure, & indecisive, to say one thing one minute, and then a few minutes later, the complete opposite exactly as the mother nature!.

    It’s the man’s job to be direct, decisive, & calm like a mountain!

    Women respect a man who has the ability to maintain his emotional center all the time.

    He is confident, has ambition & go after what he wants without fear.

    No matter what is going on in his life, he never loses his optimism about his future therefore being around him is always safe & fun.

    Dear men!
    Women want you to know what to do & they don’t want to teach you how to be a man.

    When the weather is hot, keep a cool mind. When the weather is cold, keep a warm heart.

    Be her rock!

    Wish you a great weekend~. *_^

  62. Blax, you say so much about yourself with so few words. XD

    You don’t bother to watch the news. Explains a lot.

    For young men, the Epstein story is interesting because it gives us an inside view of How the World Works ™.

    Epstein pulled underage girls into his enterprise and invited powerful men to his sex parties where the men had sex with underage girls while Epstein used hidden cams to videorecord the acts. Then Epstein used the recordings to blackmail the powerful men and gain leverage over the men so that he could demand favors of them.

    But how did Epstein get his start? It takes money to set up his level of enterprise–hundreds of millions of dollars. Epstein’s enterprise isn’t something that you can start in a garage. You have to start as a man with status as well as having money. Epstein owned an island….and a jet…and a yacht. That takes hundreds of millions of $$$. So who could bankroll Epstein? Who funded his island and jet and yacht? Ghislaine Maxwell–his wealthy madam and mistress? Naah, she didn’t have that kind of cash.

    Who had that kind of cash? Maybe the super-rich. Maybe the Russians or Chinese. And Epstein surely would have exposed the scheme and who were his backers. So they killed him.

    How did Deep State figure into this? Whoever funded Epstein wanted their agents in Deep State. So Epstein was used to suborn Deep State people. Second-tier people. Deputy Under-secretaries. Upper level managers.

    And who provided cover for Epstein? Judges and prosecutors, like the ones who brokered Epstein’s 2008 hand-slap. The media, who buried the Epstein story, although imperfectly.

    Purely my speculation. But that’s how the world works. There are real conspiracies, like the group behind Epstein. Like the Founders of the United States. Like the Nazis who were behind Krystallnacht and the concentration camps. Like the Chinese who are aggressively trying to steal our defense secrets. Like the Hollywood people who were caught cheating in order to get their kids into Harvard.

    Blax has one thing right. You shouldn’t believe conspiracy theories without supporting evidence. That’s why Amy Robach’s “hot mic” moment is important–it provides supporting evidence. Same with Fox’s coverage of Dr. Michael Baden, who provided expert opinion that Epstein’s death was a homicide.

  63. So why the concentration on one < i/> dude?

    The powerful do fucked up shit. Always been so. I’m not about picking and choosing who’s worse based on their surname. I don’t believe in any deep state ( prove it ) or any of that nonsense, regardless of how popular it’s becoming in certain sectors. Prove it.

    Things are operating the same, albeit the speed changes from time to time. Lol, Fox should have their license revoked😂 but it’s a money maker and now influencer extraordinaire. Doesn’t change reality nor the facts.

    Epstein isn’t more important than anybody else that’s does in jail under odd circumstances. People get taken out sometimes. Nobody is ever going to do a fucking thing about it other than occasionally theorizing.

    Your time is better spent doing calisthenics.

  64. @Rollo. I thought a lot about your 1800 answer. My knowledge of history is very limited. My interest lies in evolutionary biology and psychology. So, my first reaction was ‘Is Rollo right?

    But I also realised my instant reaction was to equate the story to a modern day Sugar Baby/Sugar Daddy relationship. The man in this arrangement is extremely blue pill. He is effectively also cuckolded as she can bang as many Alphas as she wants and does not have to answer to him. He believes that the more time he spends with her and the more expensive gifts he buys she will eventually fall in love with him. As you say, ‘Genuine Desire cannot be negotiated’. Is that an Iron Rule? I can’t remember.

    I did digress a tad, talking about cultural male shaming but I do get what you are saying and it makes sense. I think I’ll do some historical reading.

  65. Blax

    I don’t believe in any deep state

    Absolutely. Pay no attention to those men behind the curtain. Everything happens just like we tell you it does. There is no influence on the elected by the PTB…

    Now watch some sportsball, enjoy your pron, revel in the majesty of that American Dream lucky fella.

  66. @Rollo

    “Read some old books @asd. 1800s was an era dominated by money-ed old men who thought resource was everything, who knows how many old men were cucked by thier young wife?”

    Who knows, maybe there was some huge movement in the 1800s to not read Shakespeare?

    Certainly, the Victorians pushed the idea that women were inherently virtuous. I won’t argue that that wasn’t the dominant narrative of the Victorian era.

    But there were some movements against the mainstream Victorian narrative. You might check out “The Midwife’s Guide” aka “Aristotle’s Masterpiece”.

    (Kind of funny that this was on a feminist site.)

    “Despite his repeated emphasis on murderous, cheating spouses, the author acknowledges that unequal matches do not always lead to adultery and murder. Instead, he argues that it is more likely that the unfortunate young bride “curbs all her natural inclinations” and:

    “…is contented with the performance of her husband (how weak soever it may be, and cold and frigid) and does preserve her chastity so pure and immaculate as not to let one wandering thought corrupt it…””

    Lol, how Blue Pill this all is about young women not desiring old men. Young women can’t be into old men because men aren’t into old women. Cats think like dogs. Blue Pill.

    (An older man who already has admirable children (virile young sons and/or beautiful daughters) is attractive to younger women.)

    But there’s “Emma”. Emma marries George Knightley, who is 17 years older. He passes her numerous sh*t tests and he’s no fool. Mrs. Elton says he’s “hot”. And so do all the women. Knightley is preselected. And the evidence from the book is that Emma sincerely loves Knightley. After all, he repeatedly confronted her about her social screwups. Knightly trained Emma. Knightly saved Emma.

    Who knows how many young men have young wives and have been cucked by old men?

  67. Blax: “I don’t believe in any deep state”

    “McLaughlin, who was the acting director in 2004, embraced the idea of a “deep state” with the intent of ending the Trump presidency at an event on Wednesday hosted by the Hayden Center.

    “There is something unique you have to agree that now the impeachment inquiry is underway, sparked by a complaint from someone within the intelligence community, it feeds the president’s concern, an often-used term about a ‘deep state’ being there to take him out,” Margaret Brennan, the moderator for the event hosted, asked McLaughlin.

    “Thank God for the ‘deep state,’” he responded.”

  68. Women respect mastery…

    “There is something awesome about dating someone who has already gone through the crisis of figuring out who they are and what they want.”

    Women see what they want to see…

    “If the person you are with is already ten years older than you, and looks better than half the other people your age…” lol, “love goggles”

    Emotional security is important…

    “People who are less emotionally mature are usually more jealous than those who are more secure and established. If you are tired of the guys or girls your age acting out of jealousy, being controlling…”

    A woman wants to be in a man’s world and mirrors him if she likes the man…

    “There are just certain people that you get along with more than others.”

  69. “Someone is a hostage in this pic…”

    gotta be the handler

    she looks like a witch

    wonder what her real family name is

    he lived in that one house that one freak dude payed for young guys to live in when he first moved to hollyweird

    he give to kids stuff i think

    guilty conscience??

  70. The modern YouGoGirl worldview feeds women with 70’s Mary Tyler Moore “have it all” fantasies while stoking their “bad men are everywhere” fears at the same time, with a load of Cherize Theron “woman warrior” crap on top.

    All of these are fantasies. All of them. But they give women the illusion of control. This illusion leads to women doing stupid stuff, sometimes with stupid people.

    Probably the biggest hurdle for any woman in the modern world, from 20-something to 50-something, is giving up that illusion of control. Letting go of the reins she thinks she’s holding. Letting someone else drive, in both the metaphorical and real sense.

    Be a companion, not competition. This takes every day effort. Sort of like flossing…

  71. Reminder: Spoofing my name or sockpuppeting responses under my icon and name are an instant perma-ban here.

    That is all citizens.

  72. KR is being mention here now. Before I only saw his new relationship on Facebook. The Facebook PC crap was that this is an example of a man loving a woman his own age. Personally I don’t care who KR is f**king, FWB, or any other arrangement. What I did see with a Redpill lens is KR’s relationship being trolled out as being an example for men to follow, which is just another feminine imperative attempt to control male sexuality.
    Which age segment will the Feminine imperative spend more time protecting /promoting, the young, pre-wall, post-wall, or way past wall ladies?

  73. @Rollo

    “Reminder: Spoofing my name or sockpuppeting responses under my icon and name are an instant perma-ban here.”

    How about extending that for all your commenters?

  74. She is also Hollywood socially acceptable. Swarthmore/CalArts fine arts girl

    Sure doesn’t look 45 years old, though. More like 55. Concur with Pinolero, this is just another game of “be good boys like [some guy], ok?” because men are supposed to be as herdable as girls.

    It’s crap. It’s all crap. Crappy crap with crappy Bernays sauce on top.

  75. I don’t care much about the Epstein case either way.
    But the “Epstein didn’t kill himself” memes are brilliant.
    Brutal, but brilliant.

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