Of Ego and Choice

ego

Last week I ran across a thread on the ‘Purple Pill Debate’ sub on Reddit that called into question the Red Pill idea that women’s egos have become overblown. This “debate” sub is essentially a forum dedicated to Blue Pill hacks expressing their dubious confusion about various topics discussed on the Red Pill sub so I wont grace the forum with a link here. That said, it is an interesting forum to peruse when looking for examples of how a lot of the fundamentals of Red Pill awareness are deliberately misconstrued. The Blue Pill mindset will make great efforts to insulate itself from unignorable Red Pill truths that threaten to break comforting ego-investments. Those efforts begin with a willful misunderstanding (and later denial) of Red Pill premises.

I’ve explored the topic of women’s ego inflation in various post on this blog, but truth be told I’ve had this more thorough examination sitting in my drafts folder for a while now. The idea that women’s sense of self-worth has been grossly overblown is something I think the Red Pill community often takes for granted. It’s fairly easy to see both online and in real life. I resisted fleshing this post out for a while because it presents the risk of being perceived as some gratuitous attack on all-women-being-like-that in their ego aggrandizements, so I’ve been content to just allude to this phenomenon in my posts.

It’s easy to throw red meat to the manosphere in this respect since women’s inflated egos are something most factions of the ‘sphere almost unanimously agree on. And of course, simply doing so makes the man pointing it out, by default, a misogynist. Then, either the mud gets slung by indignant tumblrinasor his points are perfunctorily dismissed and the conversation ends.

The Purple Pill “Debate” thread was simple enough, but such misguidance needs to be:

A narrative that is constantly pushed is the notion that the female ego is inflated from a constant barrage of male attention, thus leading women to have an inflated sense of value.

Attention and offers of sex from random strange males is not validating in most cases. Male attention and offers for sex are so easy to come by, they hold next to or even absolutely no value. To put it into a more crude term “dick is cheap”. Being offered free sex from a man that is not attractive to you is the equivalent of being offered a free bag of feces. It is free and it still might have some value, but I am not going to take it.

The whole idea that any of this is extremely validating is farcical and incorrect.

This premise is misguided in two respects. The first is defining exactly what is contributing to women’s ego inflation. The second is how a woman is validated by the attention that contributes to it. I’ve written extensively on the psychological effects attention has on women. Attention is the coin of the realm in girl-world. Women use attention as a form of currency with other women, which in turn establishes peer status among women’s social groupings:

The capacity to attract and hold attention denotes social rank within the peer clutch. The more attractive the girl, the more popular she becomes and the more influence she wields. This isn’t to say that any particular female is cognizant of this. However, when ostracized from the collective, this capacity for attracting attention in a high degree makes her despised. The attention can still be beneficial for affirmation (i.e. realized jealousy), it’s just that the intent that has changed.

Thus, women use attention not only for their own affirmation, individually and collectively, but also to do combat with each other. Far more damaging than physical fighting is the long term psychological impact of denying this reinforcement, or better still, delegitimizing or disqualifying a girl/woman’s capacity to attract this attention. Combine this with a woman’s natural, and innately higher agency to communicate both verbally and non-verbally (i.e covert communications) and you can see the potential this has in damaging a rival. This might explain a woman’s natural propensity to gossip. When a woman attacks the respectability and character of another (“she’s such a slut”), in essence, she is assaulting the woman’s agency for garnering attention by delegitimizing it.

The first misdirection in this thread is that attention only comes in one form that is ‘validating’ for women. It is a mistake to assume that male attention is all that contributes to women’s validation. My guess is that the original poster was male and trying to wrap his head around what form of attention ought to be validating from a male perspective. I say this because this mistake is also a common one amongst recovering Betas considering MGTOW. They often think their case is hopeless because women are so far removed from them due to all the “incredible amount of male attention” they receive online and in real life.

From this respect I can understand the OP’s point. Attention and ‘offers’ of sex – tacit or direct – from random strange males is not validating in most cases. With the proper incentive, male attention and offers for sex are so easy to come by, they hold next to or even absolutely no value. From the perspective of male attention, the (I think accurate) presumption is that unless a man is perceived as Hypergamously optimal his attention is worthless in ‘validating’ a woman’s ego.

The term “validation” is easy to mold to whatever definition a man or woman might find convenient with regard to affirming one’s ego. In a Red Pill aware sense this validation needs to translate into some sort of reinforcing of a person’s self-perception of their sexual market value (SMV). On the ‘Man Up’ side of things the perception is one that men ought to find some esoteric source of inner strength and purpose to find ‘validation’ for their egos, while avoiding the idea that how many women he sleeps with or the ‘quality’ of the woman he’s banging might contribute to ‘validation’.

It’s funny how Blue Pill (and a few Red Pill) critics will foster the idea that the only reason men learn Game is because they’re “validation seeking“, but yet they resist the idea that women’s egos would be similarly validated by the “incredible amount of male attention” they believe even the most mundane of women is capable of generating.

However, the OP is asking the wrong question. Women’s egos are not inflated by the value of men’s attention, but rather the perception of an unending abundance of prospective men. An abundance of male attention contributes to a sense of security for women’s SMV. A lot gets made about the influence of “thirsty” guys on women, but the only value they represent is a Buffer against women ever having any personal insight about their ego valuation. Thirsty guys only serve to convince a girl she has options and therefore leisure to demand a better-than-merited Hypergamous option (i.e. apex fallacy Alphas).

Feeding the Beast

Recently Petapixel had a not-so-funny photo exposé of the dutiful Betas behind the ego-validating shots of girls on Instagram. The complicity of the average Beta male in the feeding of the female ego is never to be underestimated. Not the least of which because they are unaware of their active participation in creating a generation of woman who will have nothing to do with him while she enjoys her peak SMV years, but also to complain about his inadequacies of meeting the requirements her ego demands of men when she finds it necessary to lock down a ‘marriageable’ man. He is the architect of his own failings, but it seemed like she’d like him better if he took the Instagram shots of her at the time – the ones she would use to advertise her SMV to the Alphas who she knew were the only men worth taking a picture for.

At no other time in the history of humanity has it been easier for a woman to validate her ego or (falsely) evaluate her SMV. But that validation isn’t based on quality, but rather perceived quantity. It’s not just male attention that contributes to this. A constant chorus of ‘go grrrl’ supporters, endless Fempowerment memes and special social dispensations since before a girl enters preschool make up a far greater influences for ego-inflation than male attention. If anything girls are taught from a very early age not to value male attention (in abundance or lack) as a source of validation or confidence. This returns us to the nebulous ‘inner strength and purpose’ meme, albeit with the Strong Independent Woman® branding.

In contemporary society women’s attention and indignation needs are as ubiquitously satisfied as men’s need for sexual release (i.e. internet porn) is . This, of course, leads the larger whole of women to perceive their social and SMV status to be far greater than it actually is – and when that inflated SMV is challenged by the real world there are countless social conventions already established to insulate women and simultaneously convince men that women’s perceived status should be the fantasy they believe it is.

It’s important to keep this in mind because men’s adaptive sexual strategies key on women’s self-impressions of their SMV (and often personal worth). This then forms a cycle wherein men’s attentions for women’s inflated sense of self-worth become the benchmark for future validation of it.

Hypergamy predisposes women to evaluate male attention on various levels. The attention of random strangers offering sex to her (even if this is her imagined state) is still attention, and while not as validating as the genuine sexual interests of a guy she perceives as Alpha, it’s still contributing to her overall sense of self. The quantity of attention skews the perception of her own desirability. Women rarely complain about the attentions of ‘friend zoned’ Beta orbiters – even when they know these men are playing what they think is a worthwhile ‘long game’. What women bemoan is a lack of Alpha, Hypergamously acceptable, men’s attentions. What we hear are complaints of quality, not quantity.

Why is it that women are distressed over a deficit of “marriageable” men?

Have a read of this Brookings Institute study

This data is nothing new. Compare this to Newsweek’s 1986 survey of women’s “chances” of marrying a suitable man.

As I’ve stated many times over, Hypergamy is founded on an evolved, biological-level doubt. Doubt that a woman will ever consolidate on an optimized (better-than-SMV-merited) attachment with a Hypergamously ideal male. Doubt that the male she consolidated on is in fact the ‘best she could do’.

The primary reason the anxiety of finding a ‘marriageable man’ is persistent in women is because they believe that their due is to marry a man of “equitable” value to what they perceive themselves to be. That self-perception of value is the result of a woman’s conditioned beliefs over the course of her lifetime. The popular response to this is that women have “made themselves better than ever and it’s listless men who aren’t keeping pace” in respect to education, career advancement, etc. The evaluation of self-worth for women (at least in the sense popularized by the Feminine Imperative) is ostensibly meant to be founded on criteria for attraction which has conventionally been a standard for male to female attraction. But notice that it is once again men who must shoulder a greater burden of performance to even be considered “equitable” in self-worth to make him ‘marriageable’ for women.

The truth is that Hypergamy always seeks a better-than-deserved arrangement when it comes to the men women want to breed with and share parental investment with. The anxiety is one born of women’s doubt in their capacity to optimize Hypergamy as contrasted to what their socially-inflated egos lead them to believe they’re entitled to with men. As women’s egos and self-aggrandizement expand, so too does the expectation of entitlement to an even more aggrandized male expand. The dearth of ‘marriageable’ men is both a reflection of men’s unwillingness to participate in their own indenturing and women’s unrealistic expectations of men prompted by an unrealistically exaggerated sense of personal worth.

Again, as a solution, we have a plea from the Blue Pill world for men to Man Up and accommodate this exaggeration. Women’s ego-aggrandizement is nothing that can’t be solved by Blue Pill men’s more invested efforts in appeasing it. Almost 7 years ago Roosh wrote an essay on what he expected from women (and it’s Game implications) in the future. It turned out to be quite prophetic, but in this essay he made this prediction:

Game Plus Fame Will Be More Important Than Anything

It doesn’t have to be national fame, but you must be known for something with a reputation that precedes you. You must have a YouTube channel with millions of views. You must be a proprietor of a hipster butcher shop. You must be a popular writer, artist, or musician. You must be nightclub promoter or DJ. You must be a competitive skateboarder. Your must be the notorious editor of a cupcake newsletter. In a culture where a million people are “famous,” you’ll have to work your ass off for scraps if you’re not. Nurture your own style and niche and then leverage that to get pussy. Game will always have its use, but game plus fame will be the qualities that tomorrow’s Casanova possess. Otherwise you’ll be approaching all day and night to fuck a 6 who stops calling you after a couple bangs. You must have the complete package to get the hottest girls, with game being only the first ability of a multi-level game warrior. Guys without game will simply not get laid, not even with ugly girls.

While I would disagree with the assessment that ‘fame’ is a prerequisite element to get the lay today, I do agree with the idea that the social proof that comes with genuine ‘fame’ status is now a vital part of what makes for male attention that women perceive as validating of their egos. As Roosh implies here, that fame need not be anything more than the contextual variety, and I’d also add that the perception of fame, or even the perception of a potential for fame, is now a required element for a man women would consider ‘marriageable’.

From an Alpha Fucks, short-term, ovulatory phase Hypergamy perspective, a man can get by on Game, looks, confidence, etc., but for anything more than this men are in a competition. This is not a competition with other men per se, but with the expected entitlements women’s egos and an entire feminine social order has convinced them is men’s duty to embody for them.

In our brave new world of instant global communication, social media and the ego aggrandizing influence it has on women is exactly what anyone should expect it would be. When we look at the progress of the social and legislative repercussions that the influence of unfettered Hypergamy has had on our social order should we really be surprised that women would use social media as a vehicle for expressing and advancing their sexual strategy?

410 comments

  1. Maybe this is why I choke every new bitch a little longer than the last bitch. Ego exterminator.

    BPD+work+life= broken man

  2. Apropos of entitlement, one of the most common phrases on a local female-dominated bulletin board is “you deserve”. This is most commonly employed to support, encourage, and justify a female decision to divorce, break up with, or cheat on an unsatisfactory man:

    “You deserve happiness! You deserve great sex! You deserve better!”

    Nobody ever asks why a stranger on the internet “deserves” anything.

  3. “But notice that it is once again men who must shoulder a greater burden of performance to even be considered “equitable” in self-worth to make him ‘marriageable’ for women.”

    Fuck – somehow it always comes down to men’s burden of performance.

  4. Some of you may think that I’m not going out and having a fun time because I don’t post too many field reports. Last Sat. I danced all night with a nursing student—early 20s and pretty. She was there with her bf and he was a chill dude.

    I told her about my history with nurses as soon as she told me that she was a nursing student.

    Droit du seigneur…the lord has rights over women

    I also danced with an early 20s redhead–average looks.

    Lots of others, too.

    One of the guys asked me why so many young girls dance with me. I told him that once one dances with me, the competition begins. Preselection, in Red Pill terms.

  5. Social media has turned a millennial 4 or 5 into a 7 or 8, courtesy of filters and endless photo opportunities to present an artificially-enhanced, carefully-curated online existence; bolstered by the vacuous in-group cheerleading and sassy FI bullshit courtesy of the likes of Jezebel. The 9’s and up are now social media famous for doing almost nothing, yet society rewards them via sponsorships and all manner of perk purely because of their (real or not) proportions.

    Of course it’s not new, as attractive women have always been privileged, but the scale and speed with which more and more women can now transform themselves into entitled, untouchable princesses living in a massive delusion deserving of only the finest things (read: richest, hottest alphas and an attitude of me, me, me I want it all and I deserve it all because I have a vagina and 00000’s of followers so fuck you if you say otherwise I’m the star of this show)…. is unprecedented and pretty terrifying. It’s also hilarious, when you realise how far removed these hordes of vacant females are from the essentials of reality. If the lights ever went out, they would be royally fucked.

  6. @Fuck – somehow it always comes down to men’s burden of performance.

    Good Grief, that’s A Tell about you.

    Care to explain your denial, anger, bargaining or depressive attitude? And how we can help you with that?

    Don’t worry, you are among empathizers and/or sympathizers.

  7. Fuck, this post describes perfectly why I terminated my Facebook account. It’s just incredible how vapid the average American woman has become. What’s even more astonishing is how the GO GRRRRLs are surrounded by enabling men, often their own husbands. These men are simply cucks to their attention whoring wives and girlfriends.

    Turn all that shit off, focus on your own mission, and enjoy the decline.

  8. @SJF, I agree this comment by cyber is telling, but I drifted into this mindset from time to time for about 8 months last year.

    For me, discarding this “drudgery of performance” mindset was part of swallowing red pill- the way Rollo put it (or the way I read it) made it a challenge for me to frame what is really self improvement correctly. It takes a while to internalize that getting better is what life is all about, not just drudgery required to game girls. Being pleased by women is one of the benefits of self improvement, like spice to a life well live. “Crisis of Motive” is a good read on this.

  9. The best way to take a long view of all this is to think of the internutz and all the sociable media as amplifications of what is happening in real life, in meat-world, as they say.

    Which doesn’t portend well for the Yugo grrlz.

    All this ego validation is in the service of the average coll-grad gal signaling her availability and demand for a diminishing pool of the Alpha men who are rightfully hers. In meat-world, more and more men will not be making the cut. They can’t or don’t want to. Not going all out for those big ticket jobs, he’ll not even trying to finish college anymore. Thanks to yes means yes and similar indoctrination to Help Stamp Out Cisheterosexism, I am seeing more young men being what in prior decades would be called perfect gentlemen. The friend zone is now assumed, a guy will try to get in with a group of other guys and girls and hope some girl deigns to choose him.

    Meanwhile the Alphas keep Alpha-ing, and soft polygyny becomes the norm more and more, as the average girl competes for the attention of fewer and fewer worthy partners, based on all the I Deserve The Best bleats. Which actually reflect desperation in the growing awareness it ain’t gonna happen. The point being, as things get worse this bleating will only increase, giving the false impression of arrogance, when it’s more and more the beginning of panic.

  10. When I discovered she is the most selfish egotistical woman I had ever met,and pointed out her selfish nature,this threat to her ego brought out her violent side,this was when her fragile physical self couldn’t back up her attitude,this is where the mouth overloaded the ass.

    What saved the marriage was a combination of AWALT so why fantasize on a QW,at 57 why try to save another million after getting cut in half and as big as her ego is most women I meet these days have an even bigger one that is even less deserved.

  11. From observing all the late-30’s single women nowadays, it’s clear that women’s overblown sense of entitlement is in conflict with their subconscious mind that knows they need a man to have an exciting life (more exciting than they could ever achieve on their own). Their complaining and attention-whoring become rituals for covering up this reality.

  12. If anything girls are taught from a very early age not to value male attention (in abundance or lack) as a source of validation or confidence.

    If they have to be taught “not-it”, then “it” is the biological default.

  13. In the hunter gatherer world, especially during the last ice age, for a woman “attention” from a man meant “protein”; lack of “attention” therefore meant “hunger” and quite possibly much worse. The desire and need for attention is arguably part of the hypergamy module and so it’s wired deep into the brain.

    In internet world, attention is as easy to obtain as porn. Both Likes and porn provide an illusion a simulation of something desired in the real world, in meat-space, but the hindbrain has a difficult time telling the difference. It’s not quite like running a low voltage wire directly into a pleasure center in the brain that gives a dopamine hit at the push of a button, but it’s close.

    So if we view attention as similar to a drug, having effectively unlimited supplies of it for free is like being able to walk into any store and pick up the opiates of your choice no cost.

    Also It bears repeating that beta orbiters who give attention today for free in the hope of getting sex later are just being slutty males.

  14. “It’s easy to throw red meat to the manosphere in this respect since women’s inflated egos are something most factions of the ‘sphere almost unanimously agree on….”

    The real tragedy Tomassi, is that what you and the others see as ego inflation is actually insecurity, fear,and weakness. The same is true of arrogant men with inflated egos, they’re weak,insecure, often bullies.

    You don’t fix insecurity by trying to tear women down. You also don’t fix men by trying to force women into being more submissive, because a woman cannot make herself small enough to fix a man’s broken ego. So what happens in the ‘sphere is often this dark, ugly thing, where the only way men know to try and feel better about themselves is to spend their days endlessly mocking and ridiculing women.

  15. If I understand this correctly, the idea is that a woman’s valuation of her SMV is dictated in large part by her perception of the number of options she believes she has in terms of mate choice. These perceived options, and not necessarily the attention she might receive on a day-to-day basis constitute a woman’s (inflated) estimation of her value. When a woman has thousands of followers on social media, what provides the ego boost is knowledge that she has a base of admirers that could potentially fulfill some aspect of her hypergamy (whether AF or BB), and not the likes or comments, positive or otherwise.

    It seems to me that such a convention is apt to collapse on itself. Will there ever come a tipping point where the aggrandizement of women, via social media or other platforms, to the detriment of men becomes so brazen and outrageous that no amount of BP hamstering can prevent a cultural backlash? Or will feminized society always have at the ready some social convention to dampen the (male) outrage that such brazen ego inflation generates?

  16. “You don’t fix insecurity by trying to tear women down.”

    You don’t fix insecurity in women. Period. Insecurity is hard-wired into the psyche of women.

  17. Yes, women’s ego’s are inflated and their expectations are off the charts. Especially considering what they really offer and what it costs.

    The cost is the issue and what must be – will be, solved. I associate with a woman….I choose to leave/she chooses to leave…l owe her nothing. Marriage. Marriage ends I am entitled to 50% custody of the children. No alimony. No child support – CS is what I spend on my children when they are with me. I keep what is mine.

    The future is not the past. The past is a ‘Leave it to Beaver’ world that doesn’t exist and isn’t coming back. The future is the above mentioned arrangement or population collapse….which will essentially be a more severe form of the above mentioned agreement.

    Feminists….women, were stupid to think they could rewrite the rules of pairbonding and men wouldn’t respond. Options = instability as some would say. The future is all about more options.

    In truth, I don’t predict a change of behavior in women. Modern women will see a worldwide depopulation before they mate with a man they deem as ‘unworthy’. Despite the fact that modern women are generally hogbeasts with stds and massive debt.

    The change will come when men find the courage to stand up and shame women. NOT women shaming other women on men’s behalf. Men apologetically shaming women themselves.

  18. For guys it all boils down to 3 basic components: 1- self-improvement, ( gym time, career, nice clothes/good grooming, education/training/reading, etc), 2- Game, ( read as many of the manosphere authors as you can),and finally, put yourself out there and, 3- Approach-approach-approach!! Do this every day for 1-2 years. You WILL be successful. That is the key to pussy in 3 simple steps!

  19. “That is the key to pussy in 3 simple steps!”

    Getting laid is easy peasy. If this is just a PUA site, then I apologize.

  20. “The real tragedy Tomassi, is that what you and the others see as ego inflation is actually insecurity, fear,and weakness. The same is true of arrogant men with inflated egos, they’re weak,insecure, often bullies.

    You don’t fix insecurity by trying to tear women down. You also don’t fix men by trying to force women into being more submissive, because a woman cannot make herself small enough to fix a man’s broken ego. So what happens in the ‘sphere is often this dark, ugly thing, where the only way men know to try and feel better about themselves is to spend their days endlessly mocking and ridiculing women.”

    You didn’t actually read the original post. Ego inflation in women is the opposite of insecurity, fear and weakness. The OP is about arrogance in women as a result of societal female supremacy norms. (Arrogance=having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one’s own importance or abilities.) A man or woman doing that is dis-serving themselves.

    No where, no how, is or has Rollo advocated for tearing women down. Or forcing submission. If you think so, Have you even read Rollo? I’ve been reading here for a couple years and as a logical deductive man, I have never seen anything resembling dark ugly things and men faking their feelings about themselves. You just made that up out of thin air. And only a fool or a MGTOW would mock and ridicule woman. That shit doesn’t happen here on this blog. And if it does it always gets called out.

    What are you so bitter about, actually, that you would impel you to make that shit up about stuff discussed here?

  21. If I understand this correctly, the idea is that a woman’s valuation of her SMV is dictated in large part by her perception of the number of options she believes she has in terms of mate choice. These perceived options, and not necessarily the attention she might receive on a day-to-day basis constitute a woman’s (inflated) estimation of her value. When a woman has thousands of followers on social media, what provides the ego boost is knowledge that she has a base of admirers that could potentially fulfill some aspect of her hypergamy (whether AF or BB), and not the likes or comments, positive or otherwise.

    It seems to me that such a convention is apt to collapse on itself. Will there ever come a tipping point where the aggrandizement of women, via social media or other platforms, to the detriment of men becomes so brazen and outrageous that no amount of BP hamstering can prevent a cultural backlash? Or will feminized society always have at the ready some social convention to dampen the (male) outrage that such brazen ego inflation generates?

  22. @SJF I realise the comment comes off as me still being in anger mode, and I will admit that there is probably a tiny bit of that. What I didn’t say in my flippant remark was that linking the theme of the article, the overabundance of ego amongst young women, with the Burden of Performance was such a brilliant connection for Rollo to make. I never would have thought about it from that angle.

    First (now second) comment to the blog after reading for a couple of years now. You guys rock, and the comments here are so interesting to read. I’ve really enjoyed the interplay and banter in the comments even though it often wanders off topic. I originally started off with MMSL and eventually found my way to TRP and finally Rollo. MMSL was interesting for a while but I got hooked on the 911 forum reading about people’s marriages imploding and had to give it up. A lot of people in the ‘sphere hate on Athol and I think that’s a bit harsh, but after a few years here he does seem pretty purple. Now that the forum is gone I don’t think compulsive comment reading will be a problem anymore.

    Required mini-FR: I gave blood a few months ago and I ended up with a cute female doctor giving the pre-donation interview in a cozy little room on our own. I can get on well with smart girls, especially doctors and they eat up any game you throw at them. During the interview I teased her about her terrible handwriting and became aware that she was responding positively. Realised hours later that I should have be escalating and trying to sexualise things. I really only managed to make a joke about marrying a rich husband, a topic which she brought up. Ugh. An older nurse interrupted half way through for some reason and the young doctor blushed at her entrance. The nurse picked up that there was something going on and gave us both a funny look.

    I’m beginning to see inklings of why gaming younger chicks work as an older guy. Smart girls who have just started their career really don’t have a lot of life experience and tend to throw themselves into the initial stage of their career to try and kick it off, especially doctors who tend to work a lot anyway and not get out of the bostpital very often. 10+ years age difference really is a lot when you are talking about interesting stories and whatnot.

    Anyway, this was the first time I started to think more rationally about what I was doing in terms of game and despite not actually getting anywhere it was interesting to see techniques working despite my ineptitude.

  23. “The closer you get to the truth,…”

    What truth would that be, Tomassi? This truth? “Maybe this is why I choke every new bitch a little longer than the last bitch.”

    Bitch thinks too highly of herself, just choke the crap out of her. If her ego investments get you down, just leave her in a shallow grave somewhere. Women aren’t worth crap, just parasites out to harvest your organs. Use them and throw them away like the trash they are.

    That’s the fruit of your “truth,” Tomassi.

  24. Oh jeez we in deep shit now, it’s time for us all to be put in internutz jail because of that first troll comment from an entity calling itself Augustus West. What’s his provenance? Or should I say hers? 4chan troll school 101: plant an offensive comment which is then used to show AMALT and that every reader is a hater Looozer. Who would do such a thing?

    Come on back “Augustus.” Show yourself. Or are you really Dr. Dre? “Bitches ain’t shit but ho’s and tricks”?

    (That’s a quote from The Chronic if you’re playing at home).

  25. That’s true. Attention from men women deem undesirable is still attention that is desired. It’s if the man actually tries approaching is when the attention becomes undesirable.
    All the tights and yoga pants girls are wearing now, if they can get head turns and looks from the least desirable man they’ve accomplished their mission. Long as he doesn’t actually say anything to her.

  26. @CyberChutney

    The burden of performance is very anger producing, but it doesn’t have to be.

    The best way I can describe Burden of Performance is to find Mastery in lowering hurdles to performance. If you perceive the hurdle to be high, it will be. If your perceive the hurdle to be low, it will be. The trick is to practice and get talent.

    I’m amazed at hobbies I’ve done before used to be so ritualized and approached like I was walking up to an alter in church. Ten fifteen years ago I used to make homemade soap. You know, like Tyler Durden in fight club. I used to go in the basement and do it like not to fuck up and screw up in the kitchen. I made like 20 or 25 batches back in the day. Melt fat and mix oils, make a mixture of lye in water, mix them, get them to trace saponification, add fragrance, pour the batter like consistency in some homemade wood molds lined with plastic. Cut them up and cure them. Like it was a big deal. This past week, I found my wife buying these incredibly tiny bars of Hemp Oil soaps for a ridiculous price. I didn’t care about the price, but hell why don’t I just make some batches of never ending stock? So I rounded up some stuff and did it in the kitchen and showed her how. (in case I die, I’d leave her a legacy of me) Well I just whipped through the deal and make a batch while showing her how and without any significant bowing to the process of doing. Simple as making a batch of cookies from scratch. The mental hurdle was just incredibly low.

    Same thing with planting whitetail deer habit food plots in August. After five years of just getting it done, this past year I just hop on the 85 hp. John Deer and spread like 500 lbs of fertilizer on 2 1/2 acres, disk it in, and then disk some more, then spike harrow, then cultipack, spread seed, cultipack again and then have it rain that night and I have a good food plot for deer hunting season. Originally it was like a mental mindset of an alter boy taking gifts to the alter and wondering how things were going to be received. These days NO Big Deal.

    You are not saddled with the burden of performance because of women, in order to lean into their frame. You are doing it for yourself, and she is welcome to follow. There are three billion out there and counting.

    If I weren’t a natural optimist, and didn’t have what I have relationship-wise, I would find the burden of performance to be a grief thing. So the feelings that go along with the grief stages are totally fucking normal to have. You work through those feelings without denying them or not acknowledging them, but you work to minimize them. Time and skill, luck and mastery are tactics that can get to the objective which is no fear and no stress, merely acceptance of the burden. Which you make NO Big Deal.

    Thanks for joining the comment section.

  27. The only post out of 27 or so that she’s addressing directly
    and still thinking about (pant, pant) is noteworthy.

  28. Rollo posts on ego, and choice, and attention whoring.
    Soon an aging, post menopausal, 2nd stage, bitter, misandric, hate-filled, lying feminist shows up and demands attention.

    Lurkers, Rollo lets some women post here because they prove his points so very well.

  29. “Bitch thinks too highly of herself, just choke the crap out of her. If her ego investments get you down, just leave her in a shallow grave somewhere. Women aren’t worth crap, just parasites out to harvest your organs. Use them and throw them away like the trash they are.”

    @insanitybytes22 you are jumping to some conclusions there… nobody on this blog advocates for what you are positing. Those ideas are yours.

  30. “Oh jeez we in deep shit now, it’s time for us all to be put in internutz jail because of that first troll comment from an entity calling itself Augustus West.

    Priceless comment which is funny because it tells of truth: She has her head so far up her sisterhood non-feminist churchian movement (in truth she only advocates for herself) that she will swear upon her last box of whine (she claims she doesn’t drink or like wine, so it must be vodka) that Augustus’ comment wasn’t drive by trolling. Or AMOGing Fleezer style (no offense fleezer I like you and your masculine style, I’d like to model my son after you– not joking.).

  31. Be the guy who defies the temptation to feed her ego…women want to earn your attention and don’t value what comes easily…they want to be lead but want the feeling of chosing….

    I’m having a very tough time dealing with a betrayal. Publicly I’m happy go lucky but inside the last few weeks have been tough.

    I learned one of my plates was triangulating our relationship by hitting on my friends and not telling them about us.

    It’s impacted my friendships with these guys because I don’t want TL appear to be mateguarding and besides if a girl hits on me and I don’t know if she’s banging my friend of course I would possibly follow through.

    All this is aimed at trying to devalue me by boosting her own ego and sparking jealousy. I see it and I have not reacted to it.

    I see one of my beta friends buying her expensive dinners and telling me that she got drunk and then herself at her. Why? Because she craves the attention of Having guys fight over her.

    I want to call her out…but that would be the logical me trying to “fix”…

    Not being the one who feeds her ego…not being the nice guy who praises her artwork or her whatever takes effort.

    I now see through this scenario the pressure guys feel in complying with this female game: “xxx gave me this..why are you so mean?”

    Let’s you and him fight is a game women play To boost their attention.

    My friend claims To see the manipulation but is still so thirsty for any female attention they compromise their friendship to me in order to gain crumbs of attention from her.

    I’ve read about it and can advise dudes I’m not engaging, staying no contact and move on.

    I can tell you the competitive instincts and pressures to take part in the attention giving game are immense.

    Not really a question here more of a share for those who can understand how manipulative behaviour plays out in real life as outlined in today’s post…

    I would love to shake my friend and say dude don’t ever stir another mans pudding and you…little cunt what are you doing hitting on my friends!???

    But it’s that very reaction she is trying desperately to provoke.

  32. I believe there are parallels between this essay and Rollos essay “the invisibles” being that girls only notice the top 10-20% of men, the rest literally don’t exist in the dating market.

    It’s why you will hear them scream ” but everybody was doing it ( hooking up in hs/college) because everybody “that mattered” WAS doing it.

    The 80% of guys and 20% of girls that didn’t /or rarely hooked up (the invisibles) are just that, she believes “everybody” was doing it because she doesn’t even see them or their suffering.

    She sees Chads getting lots of attention ( more than ever before due to unchained hypergamy) ergo ” Everbody is getting lots of attention” = once again Everbody that matters.

    So it would seem logical to deduct that attention is valuable only when received from Chad/Alpha/lesser Alphas and the rest (Beta downwards) attention is just background noise and annoying.

    To today’s hb5+ women, Beta attention is like space trash you are the equivalent of an old satellite orbiting the earth with its batteries down to 5%, your signals will never penetrate HER Atmosphere.

  33. The thing about entitlement that gets my goat is that post wall women expect the same level of commitment and provisioning as a virgin wife or a lifelong partner with a shared life and children.

    There’s an intrinsic psychology of law of diminishing returns in men concerning sexing up post wall women. There’s just no desire to put in the effort for used goods.

    Why should I pay full price for bruised fruit? There’s a reason pounds give away mature animals for free or why retreads don’t cost full price.

    And yet the entitlement remains, they’re ‘at their best’, they have ‘life experience’, know ‘what they want’ and are ‘confident’.

    A woman who has sacrificed her youth for a man and provided lifelong service for the family has earned respect and commitment. But a post wall woman you just met last month? Pffft.

    As marriage age is further pushed into the wall range and entitlement increases is it any wonder marriage rates are diminishing.

  34. @ johnycomelately

    You are of course correct post wall sluts with baggage mistakenly believe that they should be valued in the dating market like chaste virgins for her “other qualities”.

    Many women end up single bitter and alone because they believe that the men that they can fuck and the ones they can marry are one and the same, and if they didn’t get commitment from the Alpha of their dreams then it’s somebody else’s fault.

    I’m 49 and i will plate the occasional over 40’s cougar if she still looks good and passes the boner test.

    About 4 years ago I plated a 44 year old recently divorced milf type for about 6 weeks.
    A friend from her work was going on holiday alone to The Gambia , ah she’s going to “rent a dread” I said with a smirk.

    She refused to believe this phenomenon exists and declared “women paying for sex, that’s ridiculous ” . I had to forward her articles where women had admitted to it before she would consider it a fact, then dismissed them as trailer trash.

    She had divorced her husband who ran his own business and had started playing with his office “assistant”.
    She was totally Convinced that she would be able to find and marry another man that her hypergamy would find acceptable. I wasn’t so sure!

    She ended as a plate for me when I refused exclusivity and she couldn’t accept it. She really thought she had the same power as her younger hotter self. Silly girl.

    She tried to reconnect with me about 18 months later when the sobering reality of her situation was probably starting to dawn on her, I politely refused her kind offer.

    She is still on my FB today, she is still single and her last two holidays have been in turkey with her two teenage sons in tow.
    Next year I’m hoping to see pictures of her in The Gambia or maybe Jamaica!

    I know that I Alpha widowed her in our short time together, she told me she loved me and offered to set me up in business in Italy where my son lives in exchange for marriage of course!

    Maybe I should have done it and divorce raped her in reverse, I could be renting boats out to tourists on lake Garda by now!
    But you know being a man and having a sense of honour/ justice wouldn’t allow me to do it ( Damn you! ) .

    I sometimes wonder if she realises her mistake or does she just think that she is unlucky, men won’t man up and commit theses days, Peter Pan syndrome along with “where have all the good men gone?” .

    It’s quite sad really! I guess she really did believe all the feminist propaganda.
    Her ex husband on being caught out promised to ditch the other ( slightly younger) woman to continue the marriage, but she wouldn’t hear if it.

    I guess the allure of a cash and prizes divorce followed by another ride on the CC was just too strong? After all she still had it going on and getting a man to commit before had never been a problem do why not?

    Time waits for No woman.

  35. A few thoughts…

    1. Ya, the girls are getting themselves fluffed up, but as Rollo points out this is largely for intra-sexual competition. Social media opens up a completely new front in the crab bucket battles. Now you get it all in writing and preserved for public display. In the past a girl would have to orchestrate real people etc to have it heard and gain cred. Now she can be lying in her bed in smelly sweatpants, eating Cheetos and still get the social proof and leverage. She has the evidence now…

    2. But also remember how ephemeral and shallow so much of it is. It’s a cheap payoff that doesn’t last long. It also hurts as often as it helps.

    3. Biology of Desire (great book I pump here from time to time) explains how these behaviors become ingrained.. The striata of the brain gets this new “groove” (not really a groove) from repeated payoffs, both in egoic pleasures and sex stimulation. Much as a heroin addict gets biochemical payoffs from the ritual of preparing to shoot up, or a drunk gets excited for the first drink at the time to go to the bar approaches, these become habits with complex payoffs and even integrations with our identities. These behaviors become automatic, just things we do without even thinking much. For today’s women, the very act of fucking around on FB or other social sites is titillating and exciting due to the associations with it.

    In the end, the answers are all the same. A self-possessed man who seems uninterested in their stupid FB games, and has real value in the world, and real power, is like catnip to women. It’s also true their inflated egos can be deflated with a look or single word. They understand at some level how useless most of that fluffing is and you can contrast yourself nicely by being different.

  36. Re: @SJF and other’s comments on the burden of performance.

    Get this: If the “burden of performance” shows up as a downer or a problem, you are likely still Blue Pilling a bit.

    You aren’t trying to get anywhere as where you are right now if just fine – if you fully digest the Red Pill. You aren’t trying to win for status or ego payoffs, rather, you do what pleases you now, not what you are supposed to be doing. As I’ve finally become my own MPO, a lot is changing for me. I ran away to the woods of NH for reasons that I didn’t fully understand. I was seeking safety, ultimately, as the world seemed like a constant assault on my peace of mind, psychology and values.

    I woke up here with a business that doesn’t really interest me, isolated in a way that doesn’t suit me and pretending that I had a life I wanted. Lol, it’s really too funny.

    I’m working my way out of that place now, but being me for my sake, because I want to be that person and up to those things is very strange. I’m so used to playing out “the good man” script, so used to having to be seen as heroic somehow that being actually self-oriented and self-serving feels really strange. The Blue Pill, for me, meant that I seconded what I “wanted” to doing what I was supposed to be doing. I still sometimes fall back into that script.

    As SJF said, don’t make your “hobbies’ your next religion. Don’t keep seeking abstract status payoffs, instead, engage in the world in way that you enjoy and forwards your plans.

    Behave this way and women will find you attractive. Gym or not. Game or not.

  37. scribblerg
    “Get this: If the “burden of performance” shows up as a downer or a problem, you are likely still Blue Pilling a bit.

    You aren’t trying to get anywhere as where you are right now if just fine – if you fully digest the Red Pill. You aren’t trying to win for status or ego payoffs, rather, you do what pleases you now, not what you are supposed to be doing. As I’ve finally become my own MPO, a lot is changing for me. I ran away to the woods of NH for reasons that I didn’t fully understand. I was seeking safety, ultimately, as the world seemed like a constant assault on my peace of mind, psychology and values.”

    Helpful

    Sublimation
    Altruism
    Suppression
    Anticipation
    Humor

    Not Helpful

    Passive aggression
    Dissociation
    Acting out
    Fantasy
    Hypochondiasis- Burden of performance

    (Do something you love. Do something for someone who needs you. Be with people who care about you.)

  38. Shallow grave insanitybytes? Organ harvesting? How can anyone be in a grave when they keep ringing my bell for the same medicine. You’re sick, but if you’re cute then I’ll let you come over and show you what it’s all about.
    Hater loozer Fred? You don’t understand, but your woman probably wants you to.

    Trolling, not trolling.. should I have spent 8 years studying philosophy and laying down articulate arguments to comment on a blog. At least I’m not writing self congratulatory “game reports”. Does anyone want to hear about a guy dancing with a nurse, or sitting in a doctors office with a boner? I think half of you are attention faggots.

    I don’t have the time, or maybe even the capacity to deconstruct all the social mechanics driving these conversations. All I know is that I used to be a helluva a nice guy. Things changed, because they had to. Like it or not, I’m another spoke on the same wheel you’re on.

  39. So it would seem logical to deduct that attention is valuable only when received from Chad/Alpha/lesser Alphas and the rest (Beta downwards) attention is just background noise and annoying.

    To today’s hb5+ women, Beta attention is like space trash you are the equivalent of an old satellite orbiting the earth with its batteries down to 5%, your signals will never penetrate HER Atmosphere.

    @Play —

    Yes, on an individual basis this is certainly true.

    However, when it comes to social media, I think it’s a bit different due to the scaling effect. So, say, an instragram hottie. Would she prefer to have 10,000 likes, knowing most of those are from worthless, thirsty betas, or 5 likes, knowing those are from alphas, the rest of whom aren’t wasting their time looking at girls on IG? In that context (not a real life setting, but social media), think it’s the former, because it’s intra-sexual competition with other women for the “look at me!” game they play with each other. It’s not that any one of those 10k likes from worthless AFCs is in itself validating for obviously hot women — it isn’t. However, in the aggregate, the “I had 10k likes, and she only had like 500 likes” is definitely a boost for them, and it matters for the female intra-sexual competition that is always going on. So it’s correct when they say that this attention isn’t “validating” in the way the attention of one single alpha male is, but it’s also misleading, because that attention still has a lot of value, when taken in the aggregate, to these women, in a social sense among other women.

    It’s that effect which also carries over to the real world. All attractive women know they are attractive from the time they’re 15 and start getting all kinds of attention from all kinds of males. What social media does, however, is create an aggregation effect whereby the attentions of unwanted men (unwanted attention in real life) has value in intra-sexual competition in an online medium where the women in question don’t have to deal with the unwanted attention in any meaningful way other than ignoring things like unwanted PMs and so on — in other words, unlike real world unwanted attention (which is annoying for most hot women), virtual unwanted attention has few downsides, and also has the aggregation effect, both of which make it a different thing from real world unwanted attention — precisely because it isn’t “unwanted” — they’re quite happy to get 10k likes from anonymous worthless betas because it’s a social measuring stick vis-a-vis other IG hotties, and that can also translate into real cash for them, too.

    I think social media changes things because of how it works — how it aggregates attention and also keeps it at a safe distance. That’s very different from unwanted attention in real life, and so I think a woman’s calculus regarding it is quite different than in real life. It does have a spillover into real life, however, because people are human. I mean, a woman who is always getting 10k-50k likes for her pics on IG is going to develop an ego around that, even if she “knows” that most of them are from AFCs. This is the same for famous “beautiful” women, too — they know that almost all of the attention that is sent their way is from useless, worthless beta AFCs and worse, and that most men who are her peers in SMV think about her differently, but that “useless” attention is a large part of what drives her popularity, and her career — so it isn’t completely “useless”, it just isn’t individually sexually validating the way the attention of one George Clooney is. That doesn’t mean it is valueless (it can have tremendous value to them), or that it doesn’t drive their egos (it does).

  40. Re: Augustus – Typical pseudo-intellectual, saying mostly nothing, his commentary more focused on style than substance. And the faux pose of being above us all, and not possessing the time or inclination to show we are all just acting out of something he sees that we are not aware of is just so precious. Great content for us to work with, Augustus – thanks/no thanks.

    Buffers are just funny to me now. It was a huge blind spot for me for a long time. I didn’t realize how they operated to preserve my identity by protecting my ego. And certainly, playing the world weary, philosopher-king is a large bore buffer. But what he misses is that his vaporous emission left nobody here with any value or insight, we weren’t edified or uplifted or in any way moved.

    I see such commentary as an inchoate cry for help these days.

  41. “Typical pseudo-intellectual, saying mostly nothing, his commentary more focused on style than substance.”

    This must’ve been the deleted piece?
    ‘Hater looser” “attention faggots” and so forth aren’t exactly liquid prose.

  42. @ ScribblerG

    Good call on Augustus.

    His screed about the other commenters is analogous to wanting to punch one of us in the face in real life. That would give him a temporary “release”

    “And certainly, playing the world weary, philosopher-king is a large bore buffer.”

    And This! This is so important. Last October I was cruising along very well just before the holiday season. Then I had a little mental setback when I had to have a rather significant surgery (which after time and distance was no big deal at all, and I’m no worse for the wear). But anyway, I had a little retrenchment in my climb of married red pill awareness and game. I found myself trying harder to philosophize and double down on knowledge and strategy of red pill. During a couple month period (including the time me and my family got kicked out of the NFL game for fighting) I doubled down on buffering through philosophizing. But I was aware of this “philosophizing” buffer and I checked myself and quit it. I had and have become elite already (in just getting red pill and game), so I just proceeded to just be my masterful self instead of believing I had to “think” more. I was under the spell of “if I just philosophize” more I would get “release”.

    So I relaxed and just went with my true core and everything was fine again. And I got back on track. I truly was using the “searching for the meaning of my life” as a buffer in order to get release.

    I see this transformation in you and your words ScribblerG. You are embracing your true self and your true nature via RP awareness and you definitely appear by your words that you are released from constraint. More free of your burden of performance. More free to just Do and Be with more balance.

    With apologies to you and all, Heh, Deida (Which is very Alan Watt’s like):


    “We must realize that there is nothing wrong with the Masculine desire for “death” and release, in and of itself. It is our obligation, however, to couple this desire with the true motive of our heart, the deepest desire for freedom, love or happiness, inherent to our being. It is certainly more loving, free and happy to experience the release from an orgasm than the release from striking someone in anger. But it is even more loving, free and happy to “die” directly into your true nature, to let go of your essential tension as you relax directly into who you are in truth. To do so, however, you must let go of your old habits of searching, your past deviations.

    How do we grow out of our habits of deviation? How do we grow beyond our obsession with violence, orgasm and philosophy? (Philosophy is, after all, a desire to be released by knowledge, rather than by sex or violence.) We grow out of our present deviance by reconnecting with our fundamental Masculine impulse for release, for freedom.

    The third-stage Masculine has recognized that His craven desires for violence, orgasm, creativity and knowledge are, in themselves, dead ends. The death-like peace they provide does not last very long. They are deviations from His original impulse toward perfect release, perfect peace.

    And this is what we must come to admit: However satisfying our deviation is, we are not perfectly released into the happiness of our very being. Rather, our craving soon begins again, and we are locked into a life-long cycle of repeating our deviation, our approximation of deathlike release, through sex, through inebriation, through losing ourselves in TV or at the movies, and even through the release we experience from artistic creation or from understanding an elegant philosophical theory. None of these things bring an end to our search for release.

    But true ego-death does. We know we have truly fulfilled the primary impulse of the Masculine sexual essence when we cease our search for release-and not just temporarily. When we have touched upon our true nature as conscious Being, our core resonates with such certainty that all of our seeking for release (through violence, drugs, sex, art and knowledge) comes to an end.

    Whether through a graceful incident, a visionary experience or the blessings of a teacher ( a big hat tip and shout out to Rollo there), the Masculine can become baptized by the peace that lies in His heart, the infinite openness into which every moment arises, lasts for a while, and then disappears.

    The third-stage Masculine practices resting into this continual sacrifice of experience, always occurring in the present moment. He relaxes His effort, His search for the peace of release, and finds it by easing or “dying” into His very nature, which is already effort-free, already open, already blissful.

    In any moment that this realization is active and true, the Masculine is free. Unlike the experiences of drugs, violence, orgasm, creativity and knowledge, this realization is not dependent on re-creating a state of mind or body. But it is dependent on active realization, moment to moment. That is, it must be practiced. And this is the work of the third-stage Masculine.

    We may, again and again, lose touch with our true nature and begin again to seek for release in some future state of body, mind or environment. We may slip back into one of our old deviant patterns of Masculine expression. But now, in the third stage, we know this search is a dead end. We know that what we must do is directly reconnect, in this present moment, with our primary heart-impulse.

    When you reconnect with your primary impulse, your energy and attention are gathered from the deviant pattern and you can relax into the true contemplation of your very Being, which is inherently free, loving and happy. In any moment of this third-stage practice, you have ceased pouring your energy and attention into a deviation, into an approximation of death-like release, and you have instead gathered yourself into the singular realization of true Being. This is your daily practice in Intimate Communion The Way of Blaximus.

    The way the Masculine grows in His practice of Intimate Communion The Way of Blaximus is by learning to relax into who He really is, yielding His tension of self into the very heart of this conscious moment. The more He relaxes into the nature of His Being, the more He sacrifices His tension, His searching. Finally, He yields so thoroughly into His true nature that He feels transparent to its native qualities. In His fullest realization, the Masculine is Consciousness, the nature of which is freedom. The freedom felt after winning a football game or an argument pales in comparison with the infinite freedom of unbounded Consciousness. “Dying” into the peace after orgasm or intellectual achievement is not hing like dying into the realization of eternal Being.

    Rather than searching elsewhere, the third-stage Masculine has relaxed into the love, freedom and happiness that are alive as His true nature. He has died to the deviations of His search. He has yielded into His true self, His very Being, and He rests deeply in that for which He has always been seeking and approximating, through violence, orgasm, money, creativity, philosophy and other forms of release. Now, He can use sex, work, art and philosophy to express His true Being, rather than create a temporary and shallow imitation of it.

    End quote.

    And once again, my warning is to not try this out at home without having Mastery over Red Pill and Game.

  43. “4chan troll school 101: plant an offensive comment which is then used to show AMALT and that every reader is a hater Looozer….”

    No, that comment is pretty consistent with what I often read here. I’m not jumping to any conclusions,the dark and ugly is alive and well at Tomassi’s. I often want to say the same thing to you guys that I say to fems, “Are you ever going to get over your man issues and start enjoying life? Laugh a little, have some fun?” Life is short and all that negativity just robs you of your joy.

    A whole lot of you guys need to get over your woman issues and start enjoying life. It’s a lot more fun that way.

  44. Most women will s-test you in some way within 24 hours of meeting you, regardless of situation, dating or otherwise. Key = don’t put up with it from the get go. Either she falls in line or you cut her loose. Women need game too…to deal with other women.

    You miss me 😏

  45. @insanity

    Bitch thinks too highly of herself, just choke the crap out of her.

    Choking is about sexual pleasure during sex. What scrib wrote had nothing to do with what you said.

    You are projecting your solipsistic experience from abuse shelters onto scrib’s comment.

  46. Cool title picture. Guy’s website has some nice graphics.
    But just had idea of tile picture should’ve been a girl, face buried in cell phone while eating a bowl full of likes.

  47. @insanity

    I’m not jumping to any conclusions,the dark and ugly is alive and well at Tomassi’s.

    Well, you’re here, soooo…

    You really set yourself up for that one, lol.

    No doubt that a few men here have flirted with being a little bit over the line. However, men tend to protect women, so even those men likely protect women far more than they injure them (e.g., a bitch slap that leaves a bruise which quickly heals). Lots of women have also been a little bit way over the line as well (e.g., using the authorities to bully their men 50% of abuse is instigated by women…please, no excusing of their behavior with your “eggshell” denial. Because of your experience, you are far too eager to excuse women’s bad behavior.

    You project your experience with 0.3% of men onto 99.7% of men.

    This is why you aren’t taken seriously.

    Yeah, I totally made up those statistics…they are just there to get you to realize that you are used to dealing with outliers and you need to stop projecting. Back up your comments with facts and argue logically if you want to be taken seriously. And definitely don’t give dodgy arguments excusing women’s bad behavior.

  48. @Kate

    You’re a dear

    Shit tests don’t bother me…they just indicate women’s acknowledgment that I’m a man and they want to test my mettle…men throw dominance tests at me as well…it’s part of being a man…you get tested. Of course, when women do it, sex is in view, no matter how remote or camouflaged.

    @Cyber

    If you get a woman doctor or any female medical professional to act inappropriately at the work place, you risk their employment…be VERY careful doing that shit…it must be well camouflaged with plenty of room for plausible denial and must be open to public scrutiny with doors wide open…doctors and other medical professionals typically don’t lock doors because of medical ethics.

    No escalation but double entendres are always Ok. Eye flirting is fine. A doctor probably won’t call you without you giving her your number and that must be secret. She likely won’t run the risk of getting it from your records.

    I’m totally keyboard jockeying here but I do have close relatives in the medical profession.

  49. So it would seem logical to deduct that attention is valuable only when received from Chad/Alpha/lesser Alphas and the rest (Beta downwards) attention is just background noise and annoying.

    @Play —

    Yes, on an individual basis this is certainly true.

    However, when it comes to social media, I think it’s a bit different due to the scaling effect. So, say, an instragram hottie. Would she prefer to have 10,000 likes, knowing most of those are from worthless, thirsty betas, or 5 likes, knowing those are from alphas, the rest of whom aren’t wasting their time looking at girls on IG? In that context (not a real life setting, but social media), think it’s the former, because it’s intra-sexual competition with other women for the “look at me!” game they play with each other. It’s not that any one of those 10k likes from worthless AFCs is in itself validating for obviously hot women — it isn’t. However, in the aggregate, the “I had 10k likes, and she only had like 500 likes” is definitely a boost for them, and it matters for the female intra-sexual competition that is always going on. So it’s correct when they say that this attention isn’t “validating” in the way the attention of one single alpha male is, but it’s also misleading, because that attention still has a lot of value, when taken in the aggregate, to these women, in a social sense among other women.

    It’s that effect which also carries over to the real world. All attractive women know they are attractive from the time they’re 15 and start getting all kinds of attention from all kinds of males. What social media does, however, is create an aggregation effect whereby the attentions of unwanted men (unwanted attention in real life) has value in intra-sexual competition in an online medium where the women in question don’t have to deal with the unwanted attention in any meaningful way other than ignoring things like unwanted PMs and so on — in other words, unlike real world unwanted attention (which is annoying for most hot women), virtual unwanted attention has few downsides, and also has the aggregation effect, both of which make it a different thing from real world unwanted attention — precisely because it isn’t “unwanted” — they’re quite happy to get 10k likes from anonymous worthless betas because it’s a social measuring stick vis-a-vis other IG hotties, and that can also translate into real cash for them, too.

    I think social media changes things because of how it works — how it aggregates attention and also keeps it at a safe distance. That’s very different from unwanted attention in real life, and so I think a woman’s calculus regarding it is quite different than in real life. It does have a spillover into real life, however, because people are human. I mean, a woman who is always getting 10k-50k likes for her pics on IG is going to develop an ego around that, even if she “knows” that most of them are from AFCs. This is the same for famous “beautiful” women, too — they know that almost all of the attention that is sent their way is from useless, worthless beta AFCs and worse, and that most men who are her peers in SMV think about her differently, but that “useless” attention is a large part of what drives her popularity, and her career — so it isn’t completely “useless”, it just isn’t individually sexually validating the way the attention of one George Clooney is. That doesn’t mean it is valueless (it can have tremendous value to them), or that it doesn’t drive their egos (it does).

  50. I’ve noticed that I get more casual attention/IOIs from pretty girls in their late teens and early twenties than I do from mediocre looking late twenties/thirties/forties women. I’m late forties myself and find it curious that women that could be my daughters are more likely to be checking me out in the gym, or lingering at my table after dropping off drinks/food, than women who are supposedly age-appropriate for me.

    Is it because those older women are suffering from false ego boosts and consider me unworthy, or do they realize they’re not able to compete with the younger girls where I’m concerned. Sure, it could be a bit of both, I guess. Still, I’m feeling good about finishing a set of squats and turning around to catch a high school girl eye-balling me.

  51. @SJB

    In nine years I have only harvested seven antler-less deer. I passed on a beautiful 2 1/2 year old six point once at 40 yards with a firearm because I didn’t want to settle for less than a 3 1/2 year old eight point. And I have what I call a doe sink. The habitat is too good. With cover food, water and bedding surrounded by Ag(riculture) Land. I saw 40 deer one year (in one morning, and 30 were within shooting distance) while on stand hunting for bucks with a firearm, but there were no shooters.

    But my wildlife habitat farm has been a redemption for just enjoying life as a man. Being out in Nature and tussling with it brought me back to really enjoy social life and family life back home. A huge breath of fresh air.

    I’m truly outcome independent with the deer hunting. In the last three years, engaging with my family and friends and my work (busier in the fall) has resulted in only getting out for 2 1/2 hunting days a year, whereas I do projects once a week earlier in the year. I just get too busy in the fall but still love the heck out of farming.

  52. “You don’t fix insecurity by trying to tear women down. You also don’t fix men by trying to force women into being more submissive, because a woman cannot make herself small enough to fix a man’s broken ego.”

    This isn’t men vs. women. You’re taking this personally, because IB ego is getting in the way.

    Female ego is miles wide but an inch deep. Any decent level of game can discombobulate any woman, she wants the whipsaw, too. Stasis is uncomfortable for any woman.

    Female insecurity is a protective mechanism, a security blanket, a feature. She gets off on it, too. Know a woman trembling with fearful excitement before a sexual encounter? I do. It’s the insecurity driving the moment. “OMG what will he do to me!, He might even slap my ass and choke me! Why am I turned on so?!”

    “A whole lot of you guys need to get over your woman issues and start enjoying life. It’s a lot more fun that way.”

    What the hell are you talking about, enjoying life? I’m killing life since I got here and it was pretty good beforehand, too.

    Crashed an outdoor yoga session this weekend, plopped myself in the middle of a small clutch of girls, with the wife in tow, busted through the little shit tests, ceaselessly teased them all. Wildly entertaining.

    Danced much of Saturday night.

    Broken ego? Fuck no.

  53. “You don’t fix insecurity by trying to tear women down. You also don’t fix men by trying to force women into being more submissive, because a woman cannot make herself small enough to fix a man’s broken ego.”

    This isn’t men vs. women. You’re taking this personally, because IB ego is getting in the way.

    Female ego is miles wide but an inch deep. Any decent level of game can discombobulate any woman, she wants the whipsaw, too. Stasis is uncomfortable for any woman.

    Female insecurity is a protective mechanism, a security blanket, a feature. She gets off on it, too. Know a woman trembling with fearful excitement before a sexual encounter? I do. It’s the insecurity driving the moment. “OMG what will he do to me!, He might even slap my ass and choke me! Why am I turned on so?!”

    “A whole lot of you guys need to get over your woman issues and start enjoying life. It’s a lot more fun that way.”

    What the hell are you talking about, enjoying life? I’m killing life since I got here and it was pretty good beforehand, too.

    Crashed an outdoor yoga session this weekend, plopped myself in the middle of a small clutch of girls, with the wife in tow, busted through the little shit tests, ceaselessly teased them all. Wildly entertaining.

    Danced much of Saturday night.

    Broken ego? Fuck no.

  54. @Leiff: ” . . . women who are supposedly age-appropriate for me.”

    Women who are age appropriate for you are 20 +/-4, with whatever necessary adjustments for local law. However much women may push a different agenda to realize their long term sexual strategy, women know this.

  55. Leiff

    Is it because those older women are suffering from false ego boosts and consider me unworthy, or do they realize they’re not able to compete with the younger girls where I’m concerned.

    It’s the latter… women have buffers too…

  56. Organized patriarchal civilization is based on a foundational contract between the genders. Man offers woman and future offspring resources in exchange for sex,while woman gets money and providorship both financial and social in trade of offering sex.

    In the modern matriarchy this is totally void.Women get resources in exchange for literally existing. I remember a college plate bragging about receiving three free tires and complimentary alignment when a random dude stopped to fix her flat on the roadside. He towed her to a shop for fixing the first tire and then offered the deal on the other three.

    On and on it goes all the way up to the Instagram queens living it up in Dubai harems. Why the hell would a right thinking woman date a regular guy exclusively when men of all walks in life will literally pay her to merely exist? Fairly soon the notion of “beta bucks” will be as obsolete as electric typewriters. Betas won’t matter when even HB3s can land a gig being an escort or “sugar baby” to a thirsty man with money.

    Game? Irrelevant. Time is money for matriarchial pussy .A dude off the street for a middle class young woman today is like a nickel on the sidewalk to Bill Gates. Why date a middle class dude when AFC millionaires are begging to bribe up young pussy? They’d rather be timeshare whores for one wealthy dude then exclusive to a middle class guy -even if said middle class guy was physically more attractive.

  57. Wala – re “rivals”…^^^^ You might try an experiment… demonstrate your mastery over the guys and this girl… have her chase you… bring her to heel… then toss her aside.

  58. “You know, after a certain age the DMV suspends driving privileges for the elderly. I think something similar might be in order for the Internet.”

    LOL! Well Tomassi, I’m only a few years older than you, so you might want to rethink that.

    Getting older is delightful or at least it is in my case. I have a husband, children, grand children, and the power to still turn a few heads… at least in the nursing home. That’s not ego Tomassi, it’s part of the Divine tango between men and women, one of life’s great joys. Not something one should ever abuse or exploit or lord over others, but certainly a blessing worth playing with. What’s wrong with warming a few hearts? Honestly Tomassi,to play with one another,to enjoy life, I don’t see much of that here and it’s about as sad to watch as a bunch of pink hats out marching in the street.

  59. “What’s wrong with warming a few hearts? . . . I don’t see much of that here . . .”

    Heisenberg Effect.

  60. IB injects this odd concept. She seems to think that a rabid ego and massive insecurity can’t exist at the same time inside of the same crazy little marble.

  61. “IB injects this odd concept. She seems to think that a rabid ego and massive insecurity can’t exist at the same time inside of the same crazy little marble.”

    No, I totally believe they go hand in hand. That is the very nature of bullies, rabid ego masking deep seated insecurities.

  62. I could write a comment about Amazonian tree frogs and IB would respond with “I love Amazonian tree frogs, you should get to know more of them. They’re some of the best creatures in the world. What is it with Tomassi and Amazonian tree frogs?”

  63. @Augustus
    Thanks for the troll-tell, Ms. West.
    Or is it Mz. West in zis/zir altered flesh? Or is it the return of Vanir #6SJ7GT?

    Most obvious troll-tell: Joke ’em if they can’t take a fuck. Flail about with a pitcher full of haterade to try and get a rise.

    Yes I am a gentleman of leisure, that’s why I’m posting on an all-male-cast message board. Here’s proof, look at my beret and my snifter of amber liquid.

    Time to make a withdrawal out of that baby’s ATM holding an apple.
    (my mistype of “baby’s arm holding an apple”)

    “I got the big dick jokes. I got the little dick jokes. I got the hard dick jokes. I got the soft dick jokes. THESE ARE THE JOOKKES!!”
    – Rodney Dangerfield, appearing on Howard Sterns’s show

  64. This was funny, Tomassi, “If anything girls are taught from a very early age not to value male attention (in abundance or lack) as a source of validation or confidence.”

    No, not really. Biology is powerful stuff. You can’t really unteach it. The world is a harsh place for girls, and the world of women is far uglier still, so without fail women and girls are going to turn towards male attention for validation and confidence.

    Even the most rabid feminist, what is she doing? Seeking male attention, resenting male attention, trying to punish men for male attention. If she wasn’t absolutely starved for male attention, she’d simply withdraw somewhere.

  65. Grandkids at daycare? Water aerobics over so soon?

    Mrs. EhIntellect understands this: TRM is by and for men. She doesn’t try to understand it as a man. Why must you? Oh, right. Solipsism.

    https://therationalmale.com/2015/09/02/solipsism-i/

    “That is the very nature of bullies…”

    Don’t hit me, I’m a girl! Now bow down to the inexorable FI…

    https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjGysKrmJ_SAhVh54MKHdMwCpgQjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fsallyasherarts.com%2Fblog%2F%3Fblog%26paged%3D2&psig=AFQjCNETpkbvaJx5qeo4pCIIIAWu4Nu1sQ&ust=1487697764579891

  66. “What is it with Tomassi and Amazonian tree frogs?”

    Indeed, I’m terribly interested in your opinion of Amazonian tree frogs, Tomassi. You should take that as a great compliment. Not everyone is worthy of my blog stalking abilities, you know. There are several people I completely dismiss as having no redeeming qualities at all.

  67. Playdontpay
    I believe there are parallels between this essay and Rollos essay “the invisibles” being that girls only notice the top 10-20% of men, the rest literally don’t exist in the dating market.

    Apex fallacy, in short.

    The 80/20 rule is documented thanks to the founders of OKCupid and their big data. This reality is why I scoff at little “Marko”, who claimed in an earlier thread some nonsense about what 20-something men do in the way of sex. Women make the most astoundingly false statements because of the warped view of the world they live inside of.

  68. “There are several people I completely dismiss as having no redeeming qualities at all.”

    How Christian of you. Peace be with you too.

  69. @ Novaseeker

    Great analysis of social media attention whoreing. I hadn’t thought about it in that way but it makes perfect sense.

    For IG hotties like Jen Selter ( I remember Joe Rogan podcast saying 8M guys a day look at pics of her ass) there is the obvious financialisation of it, rare as it may be at that level. Down to girls in high school using likes to compete with each other in the social hierarchy.

    It’s different than getting attention from a man that she perceives to be high SMV for dating purposes but for girl-world infighting you are right it absolutely does have value.

    I learn a lot on here not just from Rollos excellent essay but also from the discourse that follows.
    Thank you all.

  70. Some obvious troll-tells from Mz. Augustus West in all zis/zir glory:

    Spot the catty references to dick size and me not having a special gal. Ohh noes, poor me. Poor me. POUR ME ANOTHER DRINK!

    Yeah that’ll get a “Rise” out of us.
    Or make us do a withdrawal out of the Baby’s ATM Holding An Apple.
    (my mistype of baby’s arm holding an apple)

    “No it never had a nickname. But I did measure it once…or twice…”
    – The Wild Seeds, “I Can’t Rock You All Night Long”

    Is this the return of Vanir #6SJ7GT?

    Other troll-tell: joke ‘em if they can’t take a fuck.

    As to provenance: See here’s proof I am a gentleman of leisure just like you hater looozers. Look at this beret, and my snifter full of amber liquid. That’s why I’m posting on an all-male-cast comments board. But now I have no time to deal further with you churls and cretins, I so smart. Piss out. Thanks for shaming.

    “I got the big dick jokes, I got the little dick jokes. I got the hard dick jokes, I got the soft dick jokes. THESE ARE THE JOKES!!!”
    -Rodney Dangerfield, appearing on Howard Stern

  71. Bites
    Even the most rabid feminist, what is she doing? Seeking male attention, resenting male attention, trying to punish men for male attention. If she wasn’t absolutely starved for male attention, she’d simply withdraw somewhere.

    Oh, the irony. Attention whore writes about attention whoring with zero self awareness in an attention whoring, “loook at ME” manner; once again illustrating exactly what Rollo is writing about.

    Girls gonna girl, even the old, dried up, aging, post-menopausal, hate-filled ones. Lurkers take note how Bites keeps running her Rolodex here; “Oh, violence! Ah’m gonna faint!” and “you bad boys better mind or you’ll get a whippin’ and “I care so much about teh menz, if you would just do what I say…” and around the loop again.

    Of course she complains. Women always complain about something, and women really don’t want men talking with each other without female supervision. Besides, “Look at ME!” is one of Bites recurring tropes.

    All this, and for free. Rollo lives in Bites head…

  72. Never mind Tomassi, I’ll just go with my first instinct. You have no redeeming qualities. You really are nothing more than an insecure, broken man, who advocates and validates abuse because you’re trapped in sister in law rage, impotent, powerless, unable to reconcile her hyper religiosity with her cruel behavior.

    And misery does just love it’s own company. Carry on gentlemen.

  73. Exactly Spot-On.

    One knows so because of the rabidity of counter-response generated, so that:
    Insanitybytes here precisely demonstrates the Tomassi Hypothesis of over self-valuation.

    Priceless!

  74. @ IB

    How so? This is a successful man who gives his time here for free and refuses to monetise a very successful blog.

    He has helped pull back many men from despair and potential suicide and produces books that have helped many others that are at a price point that suggests profit is not a motive.

    He also rescues greyhounds.

    How exactly does such a man have no redeeming qualities?

    Can you list your redeeming qualities? What have you done/achieved ?

  75. “Maybe this is why I choke every new bitch a little longer than the last bitch. Ego exterminator.”

    bs for two reasons.

    1. choking times are decided on a woman by woman basis. awalt, but no two fucks are the same.

    2. good sex isn’t an ego exterminator. it’s an ego validator. she knows she’s worth a good hard fuck and that you’re enjoying it. she’s getting the most valuable things you have – your time and attention and your seed

    my screening process is becoming more and more direct. a few things I’ve noticed regarding attractive women playing the covert long game:

    1. she excels at innuendo. she makes it very clear very quickly that sex is a given and that it will be exciting, but she is not overtly slutty and definitely doesn’t say things like, “I’ll fuck your brains out”. she simply responds positively to your sexualization and encourages you to continue at your chosen pace

    2. she never asks me what I do. I used to think this was a good sign. now I’m starting to realize it’s a trap. all girls work these days and they don’t need money. they need hard fucks and excitement and they know their fake money can’t buy them

    3. she is immediately submissive and defers to me. again, I used to think this was a good sign. now I think it’s one of the tells of a well-honed gamestress. I’m to the point of telling them flat out “you’re going to get hurt”. they don’t flinch.

    4. she invites me over immediately. come on? who does this? for all she knows I could cut her throat the minute I get inside. could it be that’s actually a turn on? yeah. they like danger just fine and if she’s playing the “fear makes my pussy wet” game I’m in her frame. eject asap.

    5. she offers to cook. this is probably the worst sign of all. men aren’t the only ones using the net to share observations. some girls are sharing real information. I know this goes against their programming, but I’ve met too many career girls running very tight game. the formula is out there and they didn’t learn it from their eatpraylove mothers

    look good + sex/bjs on demand + cook + don’t complain + defer = get your man

    these girls seem like they’d be cool. they seem like they’d be okay with a fuck/disappear/reappear/fuck kind of man, but they’re not. they’re fishing and they’ve got tasty bait. nibble at your own risk.

    when something seems too good to be true, it probably is. the truth is leaking out. feminism actually sucks for women and the instinctive ones are adapting in their mid 20s. career girl on the outside combined with domestic fucktoy on the inside. a very sneaky new animal indeed.

    when I come across one doing everything right, I turn and run because I don’t want to blow up my life yet. and I’m starting to realize the great pua was totally right. the best ons/short term fuck material are the ones who flip you off and shit test your balls off and act totally cunty. they’re so into themselves they won’t care when you disappear.

    it’s fucked up, but when a girl is giving you everything you want, you’re not in your frame. you’re in hers.

  76. Lets have a contest shall we IB?

    We both go back through five and a half years of comments here. You pull as many ‘evil women’ comments as you can and I’ll pull as many “thank God for Rollo’s work, it saved my life!” comments as I can, then we’ll see which outweighs the other. Deal?

    To be fair, for 4 years I have kept an email box dedicated for saving personal emails from guys who’ve told me (in great detail) how they’ve turned their lives around because of my two books and blog, so I may be at an advantage to start with.

    I’ve also got an Air Force coin for my writing and performing an exemplary service ‘above and beyond’, but surely this will all be outweighed by the countless ‘evil woman’ comments you obviously have cataloged over the years, that and the countless accolades and changed lives your own blog has been responsible for, yes?

  77. Oh, wait, what’s this at the bottom of every post on TRM?

    Copyright © 2009-2017 The Rational Male is a registered trademark. All rights reserved. The thoughts and expressions of post commenters are their own opinions and do not necessarily represent those of The Rational Male or its author. All other copyrights remain the property of their respective owners.

    Never mind, apparently I have no redeeming qualities.

  78. OP on the IB

    “As women’s egos and self-aggrandizement expand, so too does the expectation of entitlement…”

    “…as a solution, we have a plea from the Blue Pill world for men to Man Up and accommodate this exaggeration.”

    Nothing Rollo, TRM or men satisfies the IB hatred. She labors for Feminism; All else is ornamental, a ruse, lame rhetoric.

    What has she done? Create a persona of permanent indignation.

  79. Indeed, I’m terribly interested in your opinion of Amazonian tree frogs, Tomassi. You should take that as a great compliment. Not everyone is worthy of my blog stalking abilities, you know. There are several people I completely dismiss as having no redeeming qualities at all.

    2.5 hours later…

    Never mind Tomassi, I’ll just go with my first instinct. You have no redeeming qualities.

    The betting window is now open…

  80. “We both go back through five and a half years of comments here. You pull as many ‘evil women’ comments as you can and I’ll pull as many “thank God for Rollo’s work, it saved my life!” comments as I can, then we’ll see which outweighs the other. Deal?”

    There’s a heroin dealer not far from here, you wouldn’t believe how many lives he saves,how grateful people are to see him, how he’s their man.

    No deal Tomassi, because you’ve got men right here,right now, talking about the choking women, as if that is the most natural thing in the world. You’ve got men pouring nothing but contempt all over women and you hide behind your “I’m not responsible for comments,” “I’ll never engage in tone policing”, “it’s praxeology, not prescription.”

    That’s a bunch of bovine poo. No deal, Tomassi. Show me you have the same love for your sisters that I do for my brothers and we’ll talk. Or not. You’re free to carry on of course, but you sure aren’t fooling me.

  81. Lost Patrol

    The betting window is now open…

    Difficult to come up with odds. Sometimes a Bites “I am leaving!” flounce lasts for a day, sometimes longer. I think it depends on how much of a tounge bath she’s getting from her orbiters on her site plus whatever validation she gets in real life.

    She’s oscillated between sticky-sweet churchianism and doom-on-you feminism in only a few hours, so maybe she’s just not getting It in real life right now.

    I’d say she’ll be back before midnight. Thus proving once again how right Red Pill thinking is.

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