Of Ego and Choice

ego

Last week I ran across a thread on the ‘Purple Pill Debate’ sub on Reddit that called into question the Red Pill idea that women’s egos have become overblown. This “debate” sub is essentially a forum dedicated to Blue Pill hacks expressing their dubious confusion about various topics discussed on the Red Pill sub so I wont grace the forum with a link here. That said, it is an interesting forum to peruse when looking for examples of how a lot of the fundamentals of Red Pill awareness are deliberately misconstrued. The Blue Pill mindset will make great efforts to insulate itself from unignorable Red Pill truths that threaten to break comforting ego-investments. Those efforts begin with a willful misunderstanding (and later denial) of Red Pill premises.

I’ve explored the topic of women’s ego inflation in various post on this blog, but truth be told I’ve had this more thorough examination sitting in my drafts folder for a while now. The idea that women’s sense of self-worth has been grossly overblown is something I think the Red Pill community often takes for granted. It’s fairly easy to see both online and in real life. I resisted fleshing this post out for a while because it presents the risk of being perceived as some gratuitous attack on all-women-being-like-that in their ego aggrandizements, so I’ve been content to just allude to this phenomenon in my posts.

It’s easy to throw red meat to the manosphere in this respect since women’s inflated egos are something most factions of the ‘sphere almost unanimously agree on. And of course, simply doing so makes the man pointing it out, by default, a misogynist. Then, either the mud gets slung by indignant tumblrinasor his points are perfunctorily dismissed and the conversation ends.

The Purple Pill “Debate” thread was simple enough, but such misguidance needs to be:

A narrative that is constantly pushed is the notion that the female ego is inflated from a constant barrage of male attention, thus leading women to have an inflated sense of value.

Attention and offers of sex from random strange males is not validating in most cases. Male attention and offers for sex are so easy to come by, they hold next to or even absolutely no value. To put it into a more crude term “dick is cheap”. Being offered free sex from a man that is not attractive to you is the equivalent of being offered a free bag of feces. It is free and it still might have some value, but I am not going to take it.

The whole idea that any of this is extremely validating is farcical and incorrect.

This premise is misguided in two respects. The first is defining exactly what is contributing to women’s ego inflation. The second is how a woman is validated by the attention that contributes to it. I’ve written extensively on the psychological effects attention has on women. Attention is the coin of the realm in girl-world. Women use attention as a form of currency with other women, which in turn establishes peer status among women’s social groupings:

The capacity to attract and hold attention denotes social rank within the peer clutch. The more attractive the girl, the more popular she becomes and the more influence she wields. This isn’t to say that any particular female is cognizant of this. However, when ostracized from the collective, this capacity for attracting attention in a high degree makes her despised. The attention can still be beneficial for affirmation (i.e. realized jealousy), it’s just that the intent that has changed.

Thus, women use attention not only for their own affirmation, individually and collectively, but also to do combat with each other. Far more damaging than physical fighting is the long term psychological impact of denying this reinforcement, or better still, delegitimizing or disqualifying a girl/woman’s capacity to attract this attention. Combine this with a woman’s natural, and innately higher agency to communicate both verbally and non-verbally (i.e covert communications) and you can see the potential this has in damaging a rival. This might explain a woman’s natural propensity to gossip. When a woman attacks the respectability and character of another (“she’s such a slut”), in essence, she is assaulting the woman’s agency for garnering attention by delegitimizing it.

The first misdirection in this thread is that attention only comes in one form that is ‘validating’ for women. It is a mistake to assume that male attention is all that contributes to women’s validation. My guess is that the original poster was male and trying to wrap his head around what form of attention ought to be validating from a male perspective. I say this because this mistake is also a common one amongst recovering Betas considering MGTOW. They often think their case is hopeless because women are so far removed from them due to all the “incredible amount of male attention” they receive online and in real life.

From this respect I can understand the OP’s point. Attention and ‘offers’ of sex – tacit or direct – from random strange males is not validating in most cases. With the proper incentive, male attention and offers for sex are so easy to come by, they hold next to or even absolutely no value. From the perspective of male attention, the (I think accurate) presumption is that unless a man is perceived as Hypergamously optimal his attention is worthless in ‘validating’ a woman’s ego.

The term “validation” is easy to mold to whatever definition a man or woman might find convenient with regard to affirming one’s ego. In a Red Pill aware sense this validation needs to translate into some sort of reinforcing of a person’s self-perception of their sexual market value (SMV). On the ‘Man Up’ side of things the perception is one that men ought to find some esoteric source of inner strength and purpose to find ‘validation’ for their egos, while avoiding the idea that how many women he sleeps with or the ‘quality’ of the woman he’s banging might contribute to ‘validation’.

It’s funny how Blue Pill (and a few Red Pill) critics will foster the idea that the only reason men learn Game is because they’re “validation seeking“, but yet they resist the idea that women’s egos would be similarly validated by the “incredible amount of male attention” they believe even the most mundane of women is capable of generating.

However, the OP is asking the wrong question. Women’s egos are not inflated by the value of men’s attention, but rather the perception of an unending abundance of prospective men. An abundance of male attention contributes to a sense of security for women’s SMV. A lot gets made about the influence of “thirsty” guys on women, but the only value they represent is a Buffer against women ever having any personal insight about their ego valuation. Thirsty guys only serve to convince a girl she has options and therefore leisure to demand a better-than-merited Hypergamous option (i.e. apex fallacy Alphas).

Feeding the Beast

Recently Petapixel had a not-so-funny photo exposé of the dutiful Betas behind the ego-validating shots of girls on Instagram. The complicity of the average Beta male in the feeding of the female ego is never to be underestimated. Not the least of which because they are unaware of their active participation in creating a generation of woman who will have nothing to do with him while she enjoys her peak SMV years, but also to complain about his inadequacies of meeting the requirements her ego demands of men when she finds it necessary to lock down a ‘marriageable’ man. He is the architect of his own failings, but it seemed like she’d like him better if he took the Instagram shots of her at the time – the ones she would use to advertise her SMV to the Alphas who she knew were the only men worth taking a picture for.

At no other time in the history of humanity has it been easier for a woman to validate her ego or (falsely) evaluate her SMV. But that validation isn’t based on quality, but rather perceived quantity. It’s not just male attention that contributes to this. A constant chorus of ‘go grrrl’ supporters, endless Fempowerment memes and special social dispensations since before a girl enters preschool make up a far greater influences for ego-inflation than male attention. If anything girls are taught from a very early age not to value male attention (in abundance or lack) as a source of validation or confidence. This returns us to the nebulous ‘inner strength and purpose’ meme, albeit with the Strong Independent Woman® branding.

In contemporary society women’s attention and indignation needs are as ubiquitously satisfied as men’s need for sexual release (i.e. internet porn) is . This, of course, leads the larger whole of women to perceive their social and SMV status to be far greater than it actually is – and when that inflated SMV is challenged by the real world there are countless social conventions already established to insulate women and simultaneously convince men that women’s perceived status should be the fantasy they believe it is.

It’s important to keep this in mind because men’s adaptive sexual strategies key on women’s self-impressions of their SMV (and often personal worth). This then forms a cycle wherein men’s attentions for women’s inflated sense of self-worth become the benchmark for future validation of it.

Hypergamy predisposes women to evaluate male attention on various levels. The attention of random strangers offering sex to her (even if this is her imagined state) is still attention, and while not as validating as the genuine sexual interests of a guy she perceives as Alpha, it’s still contributing to her overall sense of self. The quantity of attention skews the perception of her own desirability. Women rarely complain about the attentions of ‘friend zoned’ Beta orbiters – even when they know these men are playing what they think is a worthwhile ‘long game’. What women bemoan is a lack of Alpha, Hypergamously acceptable, men’s attentions. What we hear are complaints of quality, not quantity.

Why is it that women are distressed over a deficit of “marriageable” men?

Have a read of this Brookings Institute study

This data is nothing new. Compare this to Newsweek’s 1986 survey of women’s “chances” of marrying a suitable man.

As I’ve stated many times over, Hypergamy is founded on an evolved, biological-level doubt. Doubt that a woman will ever consolidate on an optimized (better-than-SMV-merited) attachment with a Hypergamously ideal male. Doubt that the male she consolidated on is in fact the ‘best she could do’.

The primary reason the anxiety of finding a ‘marriageable man’ is persistent in women is because they believe that their due is to marry a man of “equitable” value to what they perceive themselves to be. That self-perception of value is the result of a woman’s conditioned beliefs over the course of her lifetime. The popular response to this is that women have “made themselves better than ever and it’s listless men who aren’t keeping pace” in respect to education, career advancement, etc. The evaluation of self-worth for women (at least in the sense popularized by the Feminine Imperative) is ostensibly meant to be founded on criteria for attraction which has conventionally been a standard for male to female attraction. But notice that it is once again men who must shoulder a greater burden of performance to even be considered “equitable” in self-worth to make him ‘marriageable’ for women.

The truth is that Hypergamy always seeks a better-than-deserved arrangement when it comes to the men women want to breed with and share parental investment with. The anxiety is one born of women’s doubt in their capacity to optimize Hypergamy as contrasted to what their socially-inflated egos lead them to believe they’re entitled to with men. As women’s egos and self-aggrandizement expand, so too does the expectation of entitlement to an even more aggrandized male expand. The dearth of ‘marriageable’ men is both a reflection of men’s unwillingness to participate in their own indenturing and women’s unrealistic expectations of men prompted by an unrealistically exaggerated sense of personal worth.

Again, as a solution, we have a plea from the Blue Pill world for men to Man Up and accommodate this exaggeration. Women’s ego-aggrandizement is nothing that can’t be solved by Blue Pill men’s more invested efforts in appeasing it. Almost 7 years ago Roosh wrote an essay on what he expected from women (and it’s Game implications) in the future. It turned out to be quite prophetic, but in this essay he made this prediction:

Game Plus Fame Will Be More Important Than Anything

It doesn’t have to be national fame, but you must be known for something with a reputation that precedes you. You must have a YouTube channel with millions of views. You must be a proprietor of a hipster butcher shop. You must be a popular writer, artist, or musician. You must be nightclub promoter or DJ. You must be a competitive skateboarder. Your must be the notorious editor of a cupcake newsletter. In a culture where a million people are “famous,” you’ll have to work your ass off for scraps if you’re not. Nurture your own style and niche and then leverage that to get pussy. Game will always have its use, but game plus fame will be the qualities that tomorrow’s Casanova possess. Otherwise you’ll be approaching all day and night to fuck a 6 who stops calling you after a couple bangs. You must have the complete package to get the hottest girls, with game being only the first ability of a multi-level game warrior. Guys without game will simply not get laid, not even with ugly girls.

While I would disagree with the assessment that ‘fame’ is a prerequisite element to get the lay today, I do agree with the idea that the social proof that comes with genuine ‘fame’ status is now a vital part of what makes for male attention that women perceive as validating of their egos. As Roosh implies here, that fame need not be anything more than the contextual variety, and I’d also add that the perception of fame, or even the perception of a potential for fame, is now a required element for a man women would consider ‘marriageable’.

From an Alpha Fucks, short-term, ovulatory phase Hypergamy perspective, a man can get by on Game, looks, confidence, etc., but for anything more than this men are in a competition. This is not a competition with other men per se, but with the expected entitlements women’s egos and an entire feminine social order has convinced them is men’s duty to embody for them.

In our brave new world of instant global communication, social media and the ego aggrandizing influence it has on women is exactly what anyone should expect it would be. When we look at the progress of the social and legislative repercussions that the influence of unfettered Hypergamy has had on our social order should we really be surprised that women would use social media as a vehicle for expressing and advancing their sexual strategy?

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Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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anon
anon
5 years ago

“I’ve got the filthy plate tomorrow, she likes anal and choking”

Ah, anal and choking. They go together like hitchhikers and duct tape.

Lost Patrol
Lost Patrol
5 years ago

Burden of performance has surfaced again, as it regularly does, and I’m off to the search window/study hall to try and gain a better understanding of how it works vis dealing with women. From “The Burden of Performance”: Right about now I’m sure various male readers are thinking, “fuck this, I’m gonna be who I am and any girl who can’t appreciate me for me is low quality anyway.” This will probably piss you off, but this is exactly the blue pill mentality most ‘just be yourself‘ Betas adopt for themselves. Now I am BP born and bred, and am… Read more »

Lost Patrol
Lost Patrol
5 years ago

insanitybytes22 returns on

February 20, 2017 at 12:54 pm

53 minutes. Sorry gentlemen, no winners this time.

thedeti
5 years ago

@ IB:

“who advocates and validates abuse ”

Links or GTFO. There’s no advocacy of abuse here. Men getting what they want and need is not abuse. Men standing up for themselves is not abuse. Men telling a woman “no” is not abuse.

thedeti
5 years ago

@ Bites:

Where’s the list of churches with “Manly Men”? Give us the list or shut up.

thedeti
5 years ago

“Love is when you can look at people and see them as they really are, and love them anyway, warts and all. Love is when you can see their higher selves, their potential, and you treat them as if they were already there. Love is when you hold up that mirror and teach someone how to love what they see.” Come on now, that’s not love. You know very well what love is, as defined by the Author and Finisher of our faith. “The Lord disciplines those whom he loves.” We are to speak the truth in love. The Lord… Read more »

rugby11
rugby11
5 years ago

Lost Patrol “I get the general concept of an inescapable performance burden. Probably every man reading or commenting here has spent years having to “prove it” everyday, and being continuously judged on said proof; but isn’t there a danger of internalizing this concept to the man’s detriment with regard to women? Is there no option to decide you’ve got things like you want them, and to declare you have performed as much as you’re willing to perform?” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyWZTU22LAw We can’t escape it this alone got me out of yrs of internal pain inflicted on my unwillingness to perform… “See? I… Read more »

thedeti
5 years ago

“Should I hold a mirror up for the pedophiles, the batterers, the child abusers?”

IB, where in the manosphere are pedophiles, batterers and child abusers given shelter, aid and comfort?

Why do you constantly blame the manosphere for the evil that a few men do?

Where have you ever heard anyone in the manosphere claim that there are no bad men?

Yet you claim there are no bad women. You give bad women a pass.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

Lost Patrol
53 minutes. Sorry gentlemen, no winners this time.

She can’t stay away from a place full of men. If nothing else, she has to come back to shake her bony finger at Rollo.

Now that Deti’s asked again for her list of churches, I expect Bites might stay gone for a while.
But she’ll be back. LIttle bitches like Bites, they always return.

thedeti
5 years ago

AR:

I dunno. I just really hate it when people claim to be talking about what the Bible says on a subject and claim to know its essence, when they either don’t know, or do know and distorted it to fit an argument.

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
5 years ago

@ Lost Patrol “Is there no option to decide you’ve got things like you want them, and to declare you have performed as much as you’re willing to perform?” Red pill demands truth. What you do with the truth is up to you. The blessing of TRM is this: Reading in real time, different men with different objectives using a common philosophy. I like banging my wife. The RP vs. BP burden of performance for sex is lighter, deliberate, logical, but remains mine. She benefits from RP too. The reconstruction series touched on abandoning the burden, In unsalvagable relationships. IMO,… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Lost Patrol

“Is there no option to decide you’ve got things like you want them, and to declare you have performed as much as you’re willing to perform?”

OK… That is right now covered… How about tomorrow? How about next week or next year?

burden

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

thedeti I dunno. I just really hate it when people claim to be talking about what the Bible says on a subject and claim to know its essence, when they either don’t know, or do know and distorted it to fit an argument. IBytes is just a liar. It is not complicated, she’s a liar. Look at how clumsily she lied about Dalrock: https://americandadweb.wordpress.com/2017/02/13/taking-crazy-pills/#comment-350 When she claims to know something, she may be lying. When she claims to want to help men, for sure she’s lying. When she goes on about her BFF Jesus, or drags a few words out… Read more »

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

@Lost Patrol You got the right questions but I don’t think you have the right definitions. You sound like you are in acceptance of the burden, but I think you are looking more for an answer of how to get women to qualify to you in light of their overbloated Validation Stickers. (excuse me if I ramble, my blood sugar is a little bit low and the brain is a little slower when that happens). Burden of performance is a paradigm (a model) that makes you a more valuable commodity both for your self and others. You work, you try… Read more »

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

Here is more on the Double Bind from Practical Female Psychology by J.W. South, Franco and David Clare as it relates to women with over-validation. https://www.amazon.com/Practical-Female-Psychology-Man-ebook/dp/B00RR6RNO6 Quote: Double Bind The emotional Double Bind is one of the primary means used by females to manipulate males. It’s a powerful psychological mechanism by which the female of our species commonly binds the mind of the male so as to have him invest his energy into her, with the ultimate purpose of procreation and the safe upbringing of her children. The primary effect of the Double Bind on a man’s mind is to… Read more »

Ajax Parallax
Ajax Parallax
5 years ago

I always find it interesting to mentally note the hair trigger hyperbolic indignant reactions from women at the mere topic of male physical abuse. You will see it quite a bit IRL when you filter for it. Usually goes to the extreme of equating it with AMALT psychopath serial killers, male monster child rapists and a “he should have his balls cut off” trope. It’s usually due to her being on one side of the women-hater-man-hater coin. Cause for both? Usually lifelong rejection by the opposite sex. Just as the angry MTOW women-hating sphere has been repeatedly dissed, rejected and… Read more »

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
5 years ago

Just finished off…

Yeah I choked her, but fuck not for the kill. Why we even chatting about this beyond technique? My nuts are dry, this is gay.

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

” . . . if a man has decided that he has done what he is willing to do, or cares about doing insofar as making himself into who he wants to be, why is he a Beta for drawing a line here. . .” The Beta draws the line where he is and declares it where he wants it to be. Shifting to another common metaphor, he shoots the arrow and draws a bullseye around where it lands. The problem isn’t where the arrow landed. The problem is that he fools himself into thinking that it landed there because… Read more »

Fred Flange, In livid stereo
Fred Flange, In livid stereo
5 years ago

http://www.dailyprincetonian.com/article/2017/02/consent-is-not-enough As in: yes means yes is not enough. Holy fuckballs fellow kids! This link may be a post all to itself and it does relate to attention and ego. In this case, a sophomore student-splaining to us why all men be evil. So much so that a woman having to say “no” in yes-means-yes world is patriamalarkey oppression. We need a new “paradigm” for sexual interaction since all men rape only all women, says her gender studies professor, though what that might be no one fuck knows. Back to the fifties and sex segregated campuses maybe? Cliff notes version:… Read more »

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

” Back to the fifties and sex segregated campuses maybe?”

https://infogalactic.com/info/Men%27s_colleges_in_the_United_States

https://infogalactic.com/info/Women%27s_college

I’m glad to see there are a still a few men’s colleges. Don’t know how much longer they’ll hold out. Every young man going to college should at least consider one of them.

Ajax Parallax
Ajax Parallax
5 years ago

@Fred Flange This is probably my favorite passage from that piece you posted: “Editor’s Note: This column discusses issues and events that might be traumatizing, or triggering, for some, namely sexual assault and rape.” Thank you for reminding me why the Ivy League is useless and chock full of coddling, apologist dickless males and hairy-pitted hambeasts. Even they are aware that they may get sued by victim-minded maniacs. This “sophomore” is circa 19YO and, most definitely, a virgin from a very buttoned-up, father is a hopeless BP beta origin. I’d be willing to bet that, if she didn’t receive a… Read more »

Lost Patrol
Lost Patrol
5 years ago

Thanks to all re: the burden. I might not get the nuance. Or there isn’t any nuance but I’m looking for it anyway. This burden can dictate terms due to individual circumstances of time and place, but it seems like the goal would be to demonstrate “amused mastery” of the burden. As you move along through life you stack up accomplishments, confidence, resources, and the wherewithal to decide for yourself where to set parameters. I’m not saying that’s me but it’s where I would want to go. Will this burden always be beyond our control? @Ehintellect The reconstruction series touched… Read more »

Ajax Parallax
Ajax Parallax
5 years ago

@Lost Patrol wrote:

“@kfg

The Beta draws the line where he is and declares it where he wants it to be.

I get that. But is that not also exactly what Alpha does? Isn’t this the essence of his admired ZFG attitude?”

If you will forgive me for jumping your undoubted enigmatic retort, kfg …

Lost Patrol: As kfg says, the beta draws the line where he wants it to be (and, I will add, ‘hopes’).

On the other hand, the alpha stands where he is and watches the line draw itself around him. He merely nods his approval.

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

@Lost Patrol “But is that not also exactly what Alpha does? Isn’t this the essence of his admired ZFG attitude?” The Alpha shoots an arrow and hits the bullseye. Because of Natural or Learned skill. The non-masterful less than alpha or less than skilled masculine operator draws the target around where he is at the moment. Surely you get the analogy. Were not all born equal. We don’t all develop equal. In the range of 13 to 18 and 21 to 27 years old, men develop good social, financial and educational resources or not. If you end up older in… Read more »

SJF
SJF
5 years ago
kfg
kfg
5 years ago

@Lost Patrol: ” I might not get the nuance. Or there isn’t any nuance but I’m looking for it anyway.” Try this for a fairly straightforward, low nuance version: If you don’t work, you die. “But is that not also exactly what Alpha does? Isn’t this the essence of his admired ZFG attitude?” You are conflating ZFG with apathy. An Alpha strives. In the low nuance version, he strives to win. To win you must surpass a line drawn by some other, even if that other is simply yourself yesterday. The Beta looks at the squat rack mournfully, because it… Read more »

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

@Ajax:

You went a bit more enigmatic than I did, but I approve your message.

Kaminsky
Kaminsky
5 years ago

“The Alpha looks at the squat rack with joy, because it contains a new PR goal.”

Only if he’s been eating a ton of food and getting tons of protein plus long, uninterrupted sleep.

Lost Patrol
Lost Patrol
5 years ago

On the other hand, the alpha stands where he is and watches the line draw itself around him. He merely nods his approval. OK that’s pretty cool. If you are doubtful, you just haven’t accepted it or reaped its benefits yet. Not doubtful, the evidence is plain to see. Maybe a little lazy sometimes. If you don’t work, you die. That’s not true. Because welfare. You are conflating ZFG with apathy. That is true. To win you must surpass a line drawn by some other, even if that other is simply yourself yesterday. It’s a little more clear now, thanks.… Read more »

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

@Lost Patrol: “That’s not true. Because welfare.”

They don’t deliver.

rugby11
rugby11
5 years ago
Agent P
Agent P
5 years ago

@scribs
Got one for ya:

kobayashii1681
5 years ago

Speaking of women overblown sense of self worth….how about this echo chamber

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/feb/19/women-and-desire-the-six-ages-of-sex

anon
anon
5 years ago

You are conflating ZFG with apathy.”

It’s an easy mistake to make, on the internet.
Kind of a version of Poe’s law.

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
5 years ago

@ Ajax Parallax Great comment. BTW, homosexual violence is swept under the rug. It ruins the happy homo narrative: “The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)’s 2010 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey reports on the lifetime prevalence of rape, physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner, focusing for the first time on victimization by sexual orientation. It finds a victimization prevalence of 43.8 percent for lesbians, making it the second most affected group after bisexual women (61.1 percent), ahead of bisexual men (37.3 percent), heterosexual women (35 percent), heterosexual men (29 percent) and homosexual men (26… Read more »

pinelero
pinelero
5 years ago

@IB; “Should I do the same for my brothers? Should I hold a mirror up for the pedophiles, the batterers, the child abusers? ” It’s so transparent your attempt to shame by association by associating these types of criminal are only men.

Do some research on domestic abuse and you’ll see that the majority of instigators are female. Female child abusers and pedo’s are given lessor sentances in USA “justice system” or are just overlooked.

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
5 years ago

@ SJF Thank you for the excerpts. “But watch out: you’d better not use this technique if you are not at an advanced level and don’t know how to do it yet, otherwise you risk entering a subservient mental scheme.” Years ago, going out with my close friend, I wasn’t interested in game (I didn’t know what it was). My friend had me there as a wing man tho. I thought I’d just tell the girls “You don’t wanna hang with me, I’d just fuck up your night. I’m unstable.” Women want steady, nice guys, right? That should keep ’em… Read more »

Andy
Andy
5 years ago

Just popping in to dump some thoughts on ego and some a few books that might help. The ego is your lower self that makes you feel as a separate individual standing alone in the universe. It is false. It doesn’t really exist. The Enlightenment Trilogy by Jed McKenna will help you to understand this. Another read that will help is Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. This book helped me to understand that all actions and words are strategies to meet human needs. This can help you to communicate better with people as well as understand yourself. The way our… Read more »

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
5 years ago

On welfare: it’s no buffer and has attendant psychological damage: “They concluded that taken together, suicides, drugs and alcohol explained the overall increase in deaths. The effect was largely confined to people with a high school education or less. In that group, death rates rose by 22 percent while they actually fell for those with a college education.” “The report, by David Squires and David Blumenthal, notes that between 1999 and 2014, mortality rates in the U.S. rose for white Americans aged 22 and 56. Before that, death rates had been falling by nearly 2 percent each year since 1968.… Read more »

sgtted
sgtted
5 years ago

“The real tragedy Tomassi, is that what you and the others see as ego inflation is actually insecurity, fear,and weakness.” She s on to something here. If women were truly “all that”, they wouldn’t need the constant external faux feminist Therapy Culture to tell them that they are. The constant, external grrrl power, you go girl, body flattering selfie pics, female supremacist, sisterhood culture of ego inflation is in part due to due to a lot of womens insecurity and fears that are in direct conflict with the modern societal SIW bullshit, which purports that women in aggregate are just… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

I cannot tell if this is a manifestation of open hypergamy, or something else. Japanese culture is unique, on the other hand women are women are girls.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/japans-silver-tongued-lotharios-sell-dreams-lonely-women-061150419.html

rugby11
rugby11
5 years ago

Pregnant with the next moment of your life.
http://wp.me/p6SXrP-jq4
http://wp.me/p6SXrP-jq2
http://wp.me/p6SXrP-jqu

rugby11
rugby11
5 years ago
rugby11
rugby11
5 years ago
rugby11
rugby11
5 years ago
rugby11
rugby11
5 years ago
theasdgamer
5 years ago

@ted She s on to something here. If women were truly “all that”, they wouldn’t need the constant external faux feminist Therapy Culture to tell them that they are. You see a connection, but bytes’ comment attempts to cover up the constant ego boosting by the pop culture. Why shouldn’t women feel insecure? They are weaker than men and need protection. It’s just biology. And women’s position within the female herd is always in jeopardy from other women. Does the ego-boosting occur because women’s insecurity might lead to Patriarchy? To women being dependent upon men (which already occurs) and to… Read more »

theasdgamer
5 years ago

If men’s status were raised relative to women by one SMV, then women could no longer count on getting a man who is currently one higher than their SMV for provisioning. However, men who are currently in the “I had to settle” category–where their SMV is equal to a woman’s–would have their SMV boosted by one because of Patriarchy, so a woman’s perception of the hotness of their men wouldn’t change under Patriarchy. This would greatly facilitate marriage and women’s loyalty and women would feel more secure within the female herd because they would, on average, have more sexually desirable… Read more »

insanitybytes22
5 years ago

“You see a connection, but bytes’ comment attempts to cover up the constant ego boosting by the pop culture.” Actually, pop culture is not ego boosting at all. It is designed to render women weaker, to play off our insecurities, to separate us from our natural femininity, to make us dependent on the state. “Why shouldn’t women feel insecure? They are weaker than men and need protection. It’s just biology.” Of course it’s biology and perfectly natural, but pop culture doesn’t support those things at all. Hence, pop culture desires to make women weaker. Take feminism for example, cut your… Read more »

insanitybytes22
5 years ago

“So, Patriarchy is good for marriage and I wonder why bytes wants to maintain the SIW trope if she truly wants marriage to flourish? I think it goes to her perception from shelters of women who are physically abused.” Actually you’ve got that a bit backwards, theasdgamer. I do support patriarchy, I do support marriage. Patriarchy and marriage don’t lead to abuse, in fact the precise opposite. Women fare far better married and under patriarchal systems. What is wrong with the world right now is the fall of patriarchy and the decline of marriage. It contributes to a great deal… Read more »

theasdgamer
5 years ago

@bytes Sounds like you basically agree with my analysis, with a few quibbles. You were my foil to test a few ideas of mine. Still waiting for the list of Patriarchal churches. Most I know are boosting women’s egos like it’s going out of style. Very committed to Feminism. I still think that you’re not willing to let go of a lot of feminism. Would you give up women’s right to vote? Laws against non-marital rape? Would you be willing to not go out without the escort of a male relative? In exchange, we’d get rid of No Fault Divorce… Read more »

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

” I do support patriarchy . . .”

Show, don’t tell:

https://www.informationliberation.com/?id=56259

insanitybytes22
5 years ago

“I still think that you’re not willing to let go of a lot of feminism. Would you give up women’s right to vote? Laws against non-marital rape? Would you be willing to not go out without the escort of a male relative? In exchange, we’d get rid of No Fault Divorce and VAWA. Men would own their children. Divorce could only be for cause.” Voting? I would agree to something like only married women and widows should be able to vote. Non marital rape laws need to stay. I don’t believe in marital rape laws, however. Marriage is implied consent.… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

Oh, look, Bites is back in her “nice” phase, and hot for more male attention. Let’s recap. First was the demands, then anger and then the break-up where she wasn’t gonna hang around here no more! Now comes the artificial sweetened “aw, let’s make up!” phase. Bear in mind that it won’t last. It can’t last. She can’t keep this nicey-nice act up all that long. Oh, it might last a few days before she drifts back into the demanding phase, but then her mean streak comes back out. That’s when we get remarks like “convert him to a bad… Read more »

insanitybytes22
5 years ago

Speaking of insecure bullies who confuse ego with strength, domination with destruction,and couldn’t find their own balls with two hand and a flashlight….

I don’t recall ever claiming I was nice.

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

Lol, KFG, Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne style:

Insanity bytes should recite this preface every time she participates here:

“(Peace be unto you). Thanks for welcoming me into your house, your home…..”

and then ramble on.

theasdgamer
5 years ago

Bytes is a pit bull. Like any woman. Act circumspectly

fact comment
fact comment
5 years ago

Solid writing. Rational Male has to be best manosphere site now.

theasdgamer
5 years ago

@bytes

My view of young women is that they need to be corralled–they should fear to go out without a male escort who will corral them. Hence, unescorted women who go out do so at their own peril. Hence, no rape laws except when a married woman is attacked by someone other than her husband. Just like in ancient Rome. Up with retro! Up like a sixteen-year-old’s cock in a Las Vegas strip club!

insanitybytes22
5 years ago

“Bytes is a pit bull. Like any woman. Act circumspectly” You have caught me. Most definitely. Pit bulls can be rather nice in the right hands don’t you think? Or they can be transformed into monsters by bad handlers…. “My view of young women is that they need to be corralled–they should fear to go out without a male escort who will corral them.” Well, somewhat. I think young women need to corral their own selves. I am astounded by how many young girls will go over to some guy’s apartment at 2 am for a perfectly platonic glass of… Read more »

Not Born This Morning
5 years ago

Facebook, etc. Is founded almost purely and exclusively upon female narcissism and the competitive nature of female self promotion and self indulgence. If it weren’t for feminine narcisim, self engrossment and competition between females, Facebook and instagram would not exist. Male involvement is mostly marginal and supplemental. Social media participation is predominantly female as most men do not have the desire or the time to waste on such frivolous endeavor. Some men who participate are doing so in order to enter the frame of girl world hoping to pick up some sexual scraps. Others do so for side show entertainment… Read more »

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
5 years ago

When reading IB I remind myself: Women Are Not Liars “Keeping your word” is a masculine trait, in men or women. A person with a feminine essence may not keep her word, yet it is not exactly “lying.” In the feminine reality, words and facts take a second place to emotions and the shifting moods of relationship. When she says, “I hate you,” or “I’ll never move to Texas,” or “I don’t want to go to the movies,” it is often more a reflection of a transient feeling-wave than a well considered stance with respect to events and experience. On… Read more »

othergrain
othergrain
5 years ago

“I am astounded by how many young girls will go over to some guy’s apartment at 2 am for a perfectly platonic glass of wine and then wonder what happened.”

I am astounded by how you will pontificate here incessantly as if you understand intersexual dynamics and then wonder why EVERYone else disagrees with you.

Honestly, the chutzpa from you bitches…

scribblerg
scribblerg
5 years ago

I’d pay 1000 bucks to watch Augustus choke IB out…

Funny him calling me a douche, how sad for him. There is so much more available here than he cares to grasp, but I get it. Buffers are very hard to let go of.He’s got some shit to work out, clearly.

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
5 years ago

“2 am for a perfectly platonic glass of wine”

aka: Today’s girls are dumb sluts! Oh the humanity! Whee! This never gets old.”

theasdgamer
5 years ago

@bytes

I am astounded by how many young girls will go over to some guy’s apartment at 2 am for a perfectly platonic glass of wine and then wonder what happened.

Nah, I don’t believe that story about young women being unaware of what is going on. I’ve seen too much. Young women are just out for hot cock. Young women aren’t chaste–deliberately so. Some may spin a story about being unaware to avoid slut-shaming by other women.

Not Born This Morning
5 years ago

@ IB22 “I don’t recall ever claiming I was nice.” So, here we see her self manifestation of her solipsism in pure form. Such a statement confirms she inherently thinks that her state of existence, her mode, the manifestation of herself can only be realistically confirmed by her own assessment of it and her claim. She is incapable of conceiving any perception of herself other than her own. She is utterly incapable of abstracting a perception of herself other than her own. Cannot see beyond the hood. Utterly trapped within herself. This is what makes women such easy targets, so… Read more »

scribblerg
scribblerg
5 years ago

Agent P – That G4 is hot. I’ve never sailed a foil and am dying to! Thanks!!

dr zipper
dr zipper
5 years ago

@bytes – first off, hats off to you for stepping into the lion’s den though I don’t think it was bravery that brought you here. You seem to have some basic truths and observations sprinkled within your postings; however, your insights and solutions reek of the FI. For example, you state “… young women have been deceived by notions of equality, by denial of biology, by a complete lack of awareness of their own sexuality.” While I would agree to their being deceived, you frame it in a way that totally disregards their own culpability and responsibility in this deception….… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

@ Lost Patrol ” I get the general concept of an inescapable performance burden. Probably every man reading or commenting here has spent years having to “prove it” everyday, and being continuously judged on said proof; but isn’t there a danger of internalizing this concept to the man’s detriment with regard to women? Is there no option to decide you’ve got things like you want them, and to declare you have performed as much as you’re willing to perform? ” Fortis Fortuna Adiuvat Technically the Burden of Performance is not truly about proving anything to anyone other than yourself. A… Read more »

insanitybytes22
5 years ago

“This is what makes women such easy targets, so extremely easy to manipulate and mind fuck. They are victims of their own little bubbles.” See,now that’s what’s so wrong about your red pill. If women really were designed solipsistic, emotionally driven, unable to escape their bubbles, then it would be highly unethical and immoral for you to believe you were NOT your sister’s keeper. You are exploiting and preying on a weaker vessel, not unlike one might victimize a mentally retarded person. We could just as easily justify women preying off of men sexually since they are so visual and… Read more »

Agent P
Agent P
5 years ago

@scribs,

It WILL blow your hair back.

insanitybytes22
5 years ago

“Keeping your word” is a masculine trait, in men or women. A person with a feminine essence may not keep her word, yet it is not exactly “lying.” In the feminine reality, words and facts take a second place to emotions and the shifting moods of relationship. When she says, “I hate you,” or “I’ll never move to Texas,” or “I don’t want to go to the movies,” it is often more a reflection of a transient feeling-wave than a well considered stance with respect to events and experience.” I’m sure you didn’t intend it this way, but I appreciate… Read more »

dr zipper
dr zipper
5 years ago

Eh didn’t defend the feminine, he just explained how a woman rationalizes her shifting sands of truth

thedeti
5 years ago

Rollo, I won’t tell you how to run your place. But from my standpoint, IB has ceased being a fun pet to play with, and is now pissing and shitting all over the carpet here. It’s not fun hanging out at your place anymore with IB stinking up the place.

That’s how I see it at this point, anyway.

Fred Flange, in livid stereo
Fred Flange, in livid stereo
5 years ago

Ha! Ho! He!

http://www.nbcnews.com/better/relationships/do-nice-guys-have-more-sex-surprising-attributes-lead-luck-n723691

Go ahead – LAUGH!

N.B.: Halfway through the article acknowledges the sexiness of the Dark Triad, thereby contradicting everything before and after.

Supposedly a good sense of humor is a sex-ay trait too. Who knew? Tell a joke, get a blow job!

newlyaloof
5 years ago

@thedeti, I second that. Can we not have JUST ONE PLACE FOR DUDES to hang out and flesh things out on our own without women chiming in?

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
5 years ago

“I’m sure you didn’t intend it this way…” What I intended is this: You are not being satisfied as a feminine woman. You have expropriated the masculinity in your social circles. You are not being allowed to be you, as a woman, and are acting out here, as a coping mechanism. Oops. Too logical. Scratch that. What I intended is this: Oh baby girl IB. There is a fire in your eyes, I feel it…I feel it in me too. Let’s dance in the flames and get burned together. You love the heat. Hold my arm, walk with me this… Read more »

cattaro
cattaro
5 years ago

@IB
Rollo, thanks for good advices from you and other visittors in june 2016, and thanks for everything that you and others doing here. My life was not in danger, but the road I was walking was wrong before year 2013.

Lost Patrol
Lost Patrol
5 years ago

@Blaximus Thanks for the calibration. I know I have a propensity to drop my pack when the heat’s off and just take credit for all the wars I’ve already fought, but that this action makes a man rapidly decline to zero if he doesn’t put it back on and move out. A man must have some kind of drive to improve himself and his circumstances. Lacking both of these things relegates a man to loser status. The feeling of being able to, or wanting to relax is a dangerous one, and not just with females. I’ve seen this many times,… Read more »

theasdgamer
5 years ago

Since men are so easy to render stupid, we should just render them stupid, empty their wallets, and throw them away.

Isn’t that what so many women are doing? But you don’t want men to raise this issue. P

cattaro
cattaro
5 years ago

Before 2013 and discovering the red pill very ugly truth. And if I can describe what people around me told about my self it will be like: honest, respected, financial well established and good man, loved by sweat (not hot or super hot )women. I have my bad days and maybe bad habit sometime, but I am not some inetnet junke who love to talk about bullshit thing on bullshit blogs. This is not bullshit blog, this is blog full of TRUTH.

cattaro
cattaro
5 years ago

@IB
For you IB and all others with similar opinion…

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

EhIntellect
Women Are Not Liars

That’s one of the Blue Pill things Deida gets totally wrong.
When a woman claims “X said this thing! He wrote it!” and an objective review of the text shows no such thing, that woman is claiming something is True that is objectively False, and she knows it.

Bites is a liar. Proven. Habitual. Arguably compulsive.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

dr zipper

@bytes – first off, hats off to you for stepping into the lion’s den though I don’t think it was bravery that brought you here.

Put your hat back on. She’s been coming here for years. Why do you suppose she does
that? Why does she come back over and over?

What’s the OP all about, again?

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
5 years ago

Yeah, I remember you saying this awhile back too. I cosign: She knows she’s lying, It’s just they don’t care, by-all-means-necessary justify it, strike a righteous pose and move on.

We have women here stealing medical supplies all the time and when apprehended, lie, lie, lie. They’ve prejustified the theft and believe the lie is justified too. Part of their m.o.

thedeti
5 years ago

@ Rollo: Check your email.

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
5 years ago

Remember Crystal Magnum? The Duke rape case stripper?

She lied her head off. What was the point of telling a intellectually challenged woman she was lying? She held to her story even all was provably false. Ditto with kooky trolling feminists. IDK, she’s as drain bamaged as Ms. Magnum.

“It took almost a year for the state’s attorney general’s office to dismiss the charges and declare that the players were innocent of the charges…”

BTW: There were no repercussions for the false allegation, of course.

Augustus West
Augustus West
5 years ago

Scribble says – “I’d pay 1000 bucks to watch Augustus choke IB out… Funny him calling me a douche, how sad for him. There is so much more available here than he cares to grasp, but I get it. Buffers are very hard to let go of.He’s got some shit to work out, clearly.” Along with being a douche, you’re some variety of a soft handed cuckold loafer wearing voyeur. Yeah, pay to watch me faggot. It’s odd the pleasure you take in dissecting my statements. You tell me I clearly have issues to work out, after I already stated… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

She knows she’s lying,

well not really… the only Truth to a woman is Emotion. Emotion is always, always, always right… or at least justified… because – reasons.

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

@ Lost Patrol

Cool.

Just always remember to look at the bigger picture and the longer game.

The one thing I’d wish for all men is to not have regrets or so many things unfulfilled. People that never try anything or take any risks never fuck up, but they waste much of life. Show me a guy that royally fucked up in life, and I’ll show you a guy that tried, and trying is half the battle….the first half is deciding to try.

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

The Deida passage that EhIntellect cited “woman are not liars’ (the intro to that Chapter 16 of TWSM) isn’t used by Deida to merely describe women, it is used to describe how to deal with women. If women are liars, prevaricators, or beholden to their emotions for truth, the take home message is that a man in dealing with those women. needs to not believe the literal content of what your woman says. The message is prescriptive, and not important in how it is descriptive, the descriptive portion of Chapter 16 of TWSM is just flowery new agey verbiage. It… Read more »

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
5 years ago

Thanks for chiming in, Sentient. AWALT, IB included. Cats and dogs, why ask IB to bark?

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

Sentient She knows she’s lying, well not really… the only Truth to a woman is Emotion. Emotion is always, always, always right… or at least justified… because – reasons. Yeah, I get that point, but reality is not always so tidy. You know any cops? I have known some off and on for years. I always learn from them. Example: when a man is lying on the floor of his house bleeding out of his chest where he’s clearly been stabbed with a sharp object, and the woman who obviously stabbed him says she has no idea, just no idea,… Read more »

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
5 years ago

It wasn’t lomg ago I was bending my decisions based on Mrs. Eh’s “truth”. I’d ask WTF? She doesn’t recall what she just said!? She wanted me to lead, control the conversation, let her emote, and then we’d bang. SJF: OMG bro. Realtime At the bar here, AFC qualifing self for bartender girl. “Why don’t u like me? What went wrong?” On and on. I couldn’t take it. Me with girl tbere: Dude, this is how it’s done, I’m a asshole. That’s why she… Girl at me: Im an asshole too! Fist bump girl, dude blows out of here. Funny… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

EhIntellect
Remember Crystal Magnum? The Duke rape case stripper?

Oh, yeah, I remember https://infogalactic.com/info/Crystal_Mangum

Another woman who feminists swore didn’t lie, couldn’t lie. Her lies caught up with her.
Too bad it involved the death of a man who was foolish enough to get in bed with her.

In November 2013, she was found guilty of second-degree murder after she repeatedly stabbed boyfriend Reginald Daye, who died ten days after she attacked him,[4] and was sentenced to 14 to 18 years in prison.[5]

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

Blaximus
The one thing I’d wish for all men is to not have regrets or so many things unfulfilled.

+1 million.
Not every man is self refective, that’s ok. Those of us that are can get all wrapped around the axle of life with the “woulda, coulda, shoulda”. That’s just rear view mirror stuff. Learn and move on.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

EhIntellect It wasn’t lomg ago I was bending my decisions based on Mrs. Eh’s “truth”. I’d ask WTF? She doesn’t recall what she just said!? That’s a different shade of grey, and it’s exactly what Sentient is saying up thread… She wanted me to lead, control the conversation, let her emote, and then we’d bang. There you go. A relation has a wife and children. He’s really tired of the fact that all she wants to talk about is (a) the kids and (b) how much she doesn’t like her job. He tried one of those weekend getaway things, and… Read more »

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

Heh, Sentient and EhIntellect You guys better stop triggering me. LTR with good woman disclaimer applies here (but the ideas are fungible to STR) The following more applies to a situation like the one that EhIntellect was and is in. I can easily understand the denial, anger, bargaining and depression that a man would feel when he is not “in control” of a relationship and reads the following shit. But think of it’s import in dealing with women when you are a man in full and the relationship is actually going well. Big difference. The goal is to have a… Read more »

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