False Positives

A consistent criticism I’ve received over the years is that the Red Pill is so negative. Why cant the Manosphere just sweeten up? Its truth is definable and self-evident, but why can’t Rollo adjust the ‘tone’? I’ve lived and written through several waves of newcomers to the ‘sphere and in each generation the same want for a ‘kinder, gentler’ Red Pill is always there. The idea is that if you just changed the delivery of the truth it would somehow make it more palatable to a wider audience.

Who’s It For?

I want reiterate here that it’s never been my goal to write for an audience. Whether it’s writing on this blog, my books or when I’m discussing things on various podcasts my only imperative is to convey the information I think is relevant to the topic of intersexual dynamics. My obligation is to picking apart and considering as close as I can get to an objective truth. And I don’t do this by way of some sense of duty to objectivism – it’s just the way that’s always seemed most efficient to me to come to a usable truth. It’s pragmatism on my part, not dedication.

Yes, I know, true objectivism is impossible for human beings. Yes, I also know that even biases we’re unaware of will subconsciously influence our rationality. Spare me the classicist intellectualism, I’ve been at this long enough to have considered all that. But the fact that objectivism is never perfect doesn’t mean we should strive for our best attempt at it – nor replace it with moralism.

I don’t write for an audience. I write about what I see going on around me and I connect dots. Writers today, of all medias, will tell you to “give your readers what they want” if you want to be successful. Writing about uncomfortable truths that rattle people’s cages is counterintuitive to the write-for-success mindset. If you want to sell books, if you want to monetize blogs, if you want to get more channel subscribers you gotta give the folks what they want, right? That’s how most churches work today; cater the message to the congregation if you want the tithe checks to stay consistent.

And always write to appeal to emotions too. People don’t enjoy thinking, but boy do they ever love feeling something – particularly in an age when female emotiveness is the order of the day.

When I began writing regularly it was in a forum environment. We hashed out many ideas and weren’t afraid to get ugly. It was a necessary part of the process. There was no pretense of appealing to an audience for money, traffic or readership. The sole focus was debating the truth about a dynamic. That debate was always a hot kitchen, but the results were something greater than the process.

As a result my essays carried over a lot of the heat from the SoSuave days kitchen. I wasn’t writing to impress readers or increase traffic to the blog it was just to document and codify the objective truths I came to. There is no monetization and the comment threads have never been moderated (besides spam and trolls). Almost 8 years later my charter is still about the same objective debate.

The drawback to this commitment to objective truth is that it rarely appeals to emotionalism. No, it’s not the ‘tone‘ or the feel of the information being related that’s so off-putting – it’s the information itself, and how it makes one feel, that determines whether it’s perceived as positive or negative.

Feels Before Reals

Most people who are still plugged into the proverbial Matrix are living in a world that prioritizes feels before reals. The purpose of consuming really anything is to judge it by how it makes us feel; and especially so in an era defined by the female experience. Emotion always comes before reason in women’s natural, unlearned, interpretive processes. This is also extended to men who’ve been conditioned to prioritize emotions before reason. And this is exacerbated by their need to be better feelers, better emoters, than those other ‘typical’ guys if they want an emotional woman to ever bear their children at some point.

Anything that prioritizes reason before emotion will always run the risk of being perceived as negative. Even if the sum of the information is positive, the fact that you had to come to the truth by way of reason rather than emotion will make it negative.

If you used your head instead of your heart to figure something out, in Girl-World, at best it’s bad form. At worst, you’re a negative pessimists or a cynic.

Usually those designations are reserved for the men who make a habit of using reason to the exception of emotion to relate an objective truth that’s unflattering to the feminine. Again, it’s the information, not the tone, that’s offensive to the emotions-first prioritization. To the Blue Pill mind, any strong idea that conflicts with this prioritization is an affront to the personal investments they’ve made in ideas that it challenges.

So, understand, I’m not a negative person by nature. I’m an artist. Few people know that my 2nd degree is a BFA. I draw, I paint, I play four instruments, I used to do Shakespearean stage acting – I’ve even done children’s theater.

I fully embrace the emotional as a necessary part of the human experience – Hell, half of Red Pill awareness is acknowledging and confronting emotions. I’m certainly not a cynic or a pessimist. Anyone thinking so usually hasn’t read my work. I’m very much an optimist when it comes to creating a New Hope for men in a Red Pill paradigm. I don’t just stop at clinical realism and leave men hanging. I don’t subscribe to the ennui of the “Black Pill” – I’m certainly not absolutist or a determinist.

However, I also have a commitment and an obligation to objective truth in everything I write. Trust me, there are times I wish I could use my wife and my marriage as a ‘proof of concept’ example of how a Red Pill aware guy can make a relationship work today. But the objective truth would make me look like a charlatan if I tried to convince a man that marriage was at all a good idea in its present state.

That’s tough for me. I have had to hold back from posting pictures of my beautiful wife and daughter to prove something to truly negative naysayers. Ladies, you want me to write something positive about women? I love my wife dearly. She’s been a net benefit to my life for all of 23 years now. My daughter is a model. She’s feminine to a fault and she’s smart and ambitious. I would die for her, gladly.

But I never use my personal life as an example in my work for their protection, but also because I don’t want to lead men astray by in anyway implying that what I have is possible for them. And I’ve had men tell me that, “I want what you have.”

But I don’t make value calls. I consider information, I try to interpret it, and I present it in such a way that it’s useful to men where they’re at. I want to give you tools to use to build your own life, not mine.

Truth & Hustle

Admire the Hustle. We read this a lot in the Manosphere among the guys who fancy themselves entrepreneurs. I think one reason critics think the Red Pill is negative is because all they see is the Hustle. The Hustle has a way of becoming the whole point of anything.

I’m an abortion doctor, but I make six figures and I’m the best at what I do. No one will out-work me. Admire the Hustle baby.

When the selling is more important the the product itself, then you have problems. When the truth is less important than the Hustle inevitably our truth becomes the Hustle. There needs to be a balance and that’s getting harder and harder to find now.

We’re at a moment in the Manosphere where the truth is starting to get lost in the Hustle. I’m accused of it, or I’m accused of associating with ‘too much Hustle’. Well-meaning colleagues with too much perception and not enough information are feeling that salesmen care more about the sale than the product.

I hear you.

Let me finish here by reiterating that my obligation to objective truth will always be my motivation for doing anything I put my name on. It always has been. However, I have worked for amazing companies who sold things that people loved and enjoyed only to watch them crumble and die because the sales team assumed control of the ‘product’. The selling became more important than what was being sold.

My books, my blog, my appearances, every aspect of The Rational Male is my art. I craft each essay. It’s what I care about most. I will never allow the truth to be compromised by the Hustle. The Hustle is important, particularly when it’s about disseminating the truth, but it is secondary to the truth – even to the exception of the Hustle. Sometimes the truth doesn’t sell.

This Is Important

We are rapidly entering a time when our ideas will be vilified. Very soon the objective, life-saving, praxeology that is the Red Pill will be used as a label, as a synonym, for negative ideologies that never had anything to do with the Red Pill. And people who are all about the Hustle will gladly abandon the truth they’re selling now if it means the public opinion of it would compromise their Hustle. It’ll be less about what we’re discussing than how influential and how many followers the person we’re discussing it with has.

Others, those who were appropriating the ‘brand’, will throw the Red Pill under the bus to save their own necks. The coming storm is going to test the resolve of people who are all about the Hustle and all about the Red Pill. I know where my obligations lie, they’ve never changed.

The 21 Conventions – 2019

Once again it’s time to announce the dates and locations of this year’s 21 Conventions. By now I’m sure most of my readers know I’ve been getting myself ‘out there‘ a lot more and this year is no exception. The one event I’m doing with any regularity is the 21 Conventions (yes, there are others in the offing). I think I’ve been somewhat instrumental in helping Anthony Johnson reform these events into the Red Pill Summits they’ve become. There’s really nothing that comes close to the scale and comprehensiveness of these gatherings and I only expect them to grow into something the mainstream will soon be unable to ignore. The 21 Conventions have gone from what I can only refer to as Purple Pill to being the only real Red Pill event in existence.

For the last couple of years I’ve been a silent partner in these events. Many of the speakers are men I’ve had some personal connection with over the years. Most of them my readers will be familiar with from my mornings on The Red Man Group, but it’s been my mission to see that the roster of men speaking at these events are on message with respect to intersexual dynamics. While the upcoming Patriarch’s Edition is focused more on family, fathers and leadership, the two other conventions slated this year have something for every man – even the guy who’s newly unplugged.

Unlike certain Men’s Rights conferences (primarily organized by women), the 21 Convention is for men, by men.

The conventions are about men, not just “men’s issues” or a lot of top-down awareness raising. They are also not fluffy, “feel good” pep rallies with more hype than information. You get real content, not a lot of hype.

My involvement in this convention has had only one goal; to give men the nuts & bolts, actionable information they need to conceive and develop the lives they want to lead. Lives that align with the truths that Red Pill awareness represents. If you’re looking to get laid, we’ve got that covered. If you’re trying to resolve a sexless marriage, we’ve got you covered. If you’re looking to become the best version of yourself, you want to be a Red Pill father, you want to fight feminism? This convention is the only event that delivers ‘real content’ based on the difficult truths men need to acknowledge in their lives.

I get it. That seems like a hard sell. But there needs to be some kind of gathering of minds in this sphere. I will continue to put my name on this event until it ceases to be about the charter or shifts to a different message. My constant concern is ensuring that this convention stays committed to objectivism. Critics want to claim that the Red Pill is only a cult. It’s only interested in “ideological purity”. This is a false narrative. The Red Pill is obligated to objective truth. It only seems ‘culty’ when that truth clashes with the ego-invested beliefs of ideologues.

The 21 Conventions serve as a TED Talk for the Manosphere. At no other venue will you hear these topics and pro-masculine information discussed. We live in an era where free speech is limited by platform and the ideological bent of its owners. It’s long past time we developed a forum where Red Pill awareness can be discussed free from censorship – this is it. The only way to test the strengths of an idea is in the crucible of open debate. And that debate requires an open marketplace of ideas in which to test them.

POLAND – July 11-18, 2019

21 Convention – Poland

OI’m pleased to announce my first European talk will be delivered this year in Warsaw, Poland. I can’t stress enough how this venue is the ideal location for a Red Pill discourse. Given the sociopolitical state of most of Europe today, it’s probably the only country that would welcome honest perspectives on gender, intersexual dynamics, conventional masculinity and men’s personal development.

Although I’ve been to several European countries, Poland will be a first for me. This will be a personal pleasure for me also as I also have a Polish translation of The Rational Malethat I’m very proud of. I’ve been working with my Polish team for 2 years now and it will be an honor to finally meet up with these guys.

If you live in Europe and haven’t had the opportunity to come to the U.S. conventions this will be your event. At the time of this posting the registration is already moving rapidly, so please don’t hesitate to register now. Please use my affiliate link in the banner above to register. This is how I get credited for the attendees.

At the time of this posting the speaker’s list for Poland is:

  • Rollo Tomassi
  • Anthony Johnson
  • Andrew ‘Cobra’ Tate
  • Jack Donovan
  • Richard Grannon
  • Nick Krauser
  • George Bruno
  • Socrates
  • Ivan Throne
  • Jack Murphy
  • Alexander AJ Cortes
  • Kyle Trouble
  • Steve Williams
  • Johnathan (MLD)

Thats the confirmed list and it’s likely to expand before the event

ORLANDO – October 24-27

The 21 Convention Orlando

This is the main U.S. event. In 2018 the convention sold out and attendance more than doubled from 2017. 2019 will see this event is even larger. Anthony has also added independent workshops by individual speakers on a variety of relevant topics for attendees to the main conference talks. Check the 21 Convention site for more info on these workshops, but these side talks are part of the registration and an added value for attendees.

And these workshops are in addition to the offsite, after hours meet ups, dinners and extra-curricular events that will be going on over the extended four-day convention. No matter which convention you attend I make it my job to engage with every man I meet at the conferences. You will have personal time to discuss the matters that concern you most. This is my favorite part of doing these events.

Again I need to stress that the registration goes quickly for these events. The way it works is that the price progressively escalates to regular attendance prices the long you wait as the event date nears. I used to think this was a clever pricing scheme to get men to commit to attend, but now that the convention has become the ‘Woodstock of the Manosphere‘ it’s even more important that you get on these registrations as soon as possible before they sell out.

Please use the link in the Orlando banner above to get to my affiliate account. Again, this is how I get credit for my attendees.

Orlando is the main event and the list of speakers for the four-day event is truly awesome:

  • Rollo Tomassi
  • Anthony Johnson
  • Elliott Hulse
  • Hotep Jesus (Bryan Sharpe)
  • Jack Donovan
  • Ed Latimore
  • Dr. Robert Glover
  • Dr. Shawn Smith PsyD
  • Hunter Drew
  • Tanner Guzy
  • Donovan Sharpe
  • Goldmund Unleashed
  • Rian Stone
  • George Bruno
  • Socrates
  • Texas Dom
  • Ivan Throne
  • Jack Murphy
  • Alexander AJ Cortes
  • Steve Williams

And that’s the list of speakers we have confirmed at this time. As you can see, there is no other Manosphere gathering that compares to this event. It’s not just the TED Talk for the ‘sphere, it’s the friends you’ll make and the men you’ll connect both inside and outside the conference. The 21 Convention is much more than the men speaking or the workshops about the issues and topics that are important to you, it’s about the experience of sharing ideas with other men that no other venue allows for.

Finally, there will be discount codes for both events:

  • All men 25 or younger – U25
  • Military (active & retired) – MILITARY
  • Law enforcement and firefighters (active & retired) – LEO

These codes will get you 25% off the registration, including the VIP upgrades. These codes do not stack.

My goal for these conventions is enabling men to get access in any way possible. Some critics claim the price is too restrictive or it’s overpriced for what they believe is men “selling their snake oil to unsuspecting dupes”. This is also my concern. I want you to have access, but obviously the conferences can’t be ‘free admission’. A lot goes into bring together a convention of this magnitude. But “Why go at all when all the information is free on your blog Rollo?” Why indeed? If the cost is too prohibitive for you then you can always read my material here for free. I encourage you to do so in fact. I consider the Red Pill to be open source, so please, don’t put yourself into financial difficulties if attending would do so.

But also know that if the 25% discounts above aren’t enough for you, I will find a way for you to attend using one of my limited discounts, getting you on the volunteer staff, or some other way. That’s how important I think these events are for men. So if you’re struggling financially, but you really want to attend, hit me up in my email or Twitter or the comments on my About page here and I’ll make a way to make it happen.

And if you think it’s “all just salesmen hawking snake oil”, I will also find a way to get you a discounted registration on my dime so you can attend and see for yourself what these events are really all about.

I joke with Anthony that my ‘workshops’ start the moment I enter the hotel lobby. I’m guaranteed to lose my voice before the the end of the 3rd day, but it’s worth it to me to give you the most of what you’re paying for. That’s my commitment to you. I know that most men only have finite resource, and only get so many weeks a year for vacation. That is the foremost thing on my mind when I’m speaking at these conventions. I want you to get the most of your investment in a weekend that’s guaranteed to change your outlook on life. And I’m confident all my fellow speakers feel the same.

Raiders of the Lost Covenant

I hate to begin an essay with an apology, but I feel like one is in order this time. For the past year and a half I’ve been invested in writing my fourth book, The Rational Male – Religion. This required a degree of perseverance, dedication in research, feedback, interviews and general behind the scenes dialoging that I’ve never had to involve myself in before. As a result, I’m less able to devote myself to writing this blog as well or as regularly as I believe I should. For that I’m apologizing here for skipping a week more often than I should.

I’m enjoying every minute of the work I’m putting into the new book, but it is taxing. A criticism I always get is that my books are just re-edits of this blog’s essays, and “Why should anyone buy your books if they can get it all for free here?” Ironically, these are also the critics who berate me for selling out, or they assume pushing my Red Pill books is all I do for a living [insert eye-roll here].

Well, not this time. This time the book will be (almost) entirely fresh material and this takes time, effort and concentration. There will be some material from a handful of past essays, but about 85% of the book is new material.

This process began prior to my publishing Positive Masculinity in July of 2017. I knew then, while still writing my third book, I wanted to do a book on how the Red Pill awareness of intersexual dynamics intertwined with religions and religious mindsets for the series. I began to do some casual research in Spring of 2017 as an aside to the third book. This quickly snowballed into a part time job for me. Now, add this to my schedule with:

  • The Red Man Group
  • My own YouTube presence
  • A few regular live spots and interviews I do
  • Red Pill 101 I do with Pat Campbell every Sunday
  • The keynote talks I’ll be giving at three 21 Conventions in 2019
  • Producing a new liquor brand for my real job this year

Anyway, that’s my way of saying I feel bad for missing a week or two on this blog. The Rational Male will always be my comfortable place to come home to and I want to let you all know, just because I’m posting less in the comments doesn’t mean I don’t read every one. In fact, this is one of the only forums, among dozens, I make a point to keep up with consistently.

Covenant vs. Contractual Marriage

Since digging into the new book I’ve gotten in the habit of comparing notes with various religious personalities who I think might give me a better perspective into how aspects of the Red Pill dovetail into religion. Everyone from Jewish Rabbis to Greek Orthodox ministers (?), to the Muslim faithful, to Evangelical pastors have been on my discussion list for two years now. One notable of late was Dr. Everett Piper, the recently retired president (chancellor?) of Oklahoma Wesleyan University.

Dr. Piper has a regular segment on the Pat Campbell radio show that comes on a half hour before I go on with Pat every Friday morning at 9:05am EST. The link to all our archives is in the sidebar.

Listen to the full discussion here

Last Friday Dr. Piper and I had a discussion about the state of marriage today. I’m loathe to call it a proper “debate” because there’s a lot that he and I agree on with respect to the value of marriage for men and women – at least, the value of what marriage had in the past and should mean to men and women going forward. Marriage is always going to be a persistent hot button issue in the Manosphere. Depending on what your personal, moral and/or rational beliefs are, marriage is something to be actively avoided or something only to enter into with the most serious degree of vetting and caution. Today’s marriage is defined by the dangers it poses to men. Unfortunately, this caution is rarely a consideration for most Blue Pill conditioned, Beta men.

Another area that Dr. Piper and I (and the Manosphere) agree on is the ‘feels before reals‘ priority our feminine-primary social order has embedded in our social consciousness. Today, the “correct” way to address a decision is to lead with our emotions, but it’s exactly this ‘feelings first’ idea that leads men to disregard the life-damaging potential that modern marriage poses to them.

I took the pro-avoidance side of this discussion. And, as usual, I always have to qualify my doing so first; Yes, I’ll be married for 23 years in July. Yes, I’m still happily married to the same woman and have never been divorced, nor have I ever considered divorce. My marriage’s success is directly attributable to my Red Pill awareness and putting it into practice. Mrs. Tomassi and I are still very much in love, we’ve raised a gorgeous and smart daughter to adulthood, and I think my marriage is as close to most people’s ideal as can be.

And yes, I would still never remarry were I to find myself single tomorrow – I simply cannot endorse marriage, as it exists today, as a good idea for any young man. Remember, this is coming from a guy with a damn good marriage. As MGTOWs are fond of saying, endorsing marriage today is leading the lambs to slaughter. I agree. It is simply, statistically, the worst decision a man can make in his life at present, yet so many men want to believe they won’t be one of those statistics.

This confuses a lot of people. Fundamentally, I think the institution of monogamous marriage has been one of the bedrocks of success for western civilization. Marriage is a good idea; it’s how we execute it in the late 20th and 21st centuries that makes it one of the worst prospects imaginable for men. So, I’m technically not anti-marriage; I’m anti-never-saw-it-coming-Pollyana-how-could-she-do-this-to-me?-hypergamy’s-doesn’t-care marriage.

This was my position going in to this talk with Dr. Piper. Have a listen to the whole segment if you have the time, but what we distilled it down to is the idea of a Covenant Marriage vs. a Contractual Marriage. This was the premise used to describe the divide between marriage how it should be done – religiously, personally, devotionally, how it was done in the past – and the way marriage is now – the worst contractual liability a man can enter into. Needless to say a lot of qualifications followed this.

By my understanding a Covenant marriage presumes a mutual religious reverence and understanding of what is expected of a man and a woman before they enter into marriage. It is founded on the agreement of two individuals who believe they are better together than they are apart. On paper this sounds good, but it presupposes quite a bit – particularly on the part of that woman today. I’ll detail the reasons why in a bit, but I take the Covenant definition of marriage to mean that there’s a mutual understanding between the man and woman that they are marrying for love in accordance to what they believe is their religious and monogamous obligation. Fine. We’ve got a model for marriage that is set apart from the Contractual model.

The Contractual marriage is one based on mutual support and an insurance that this support will continue even if the marriage itself dissolves. MGTOWs liken this to a bad business contract that, were it not marriage, no right-thinking man would ever agree to sign off on.

Contractual marriage is the standard for today. Dr. Piper sees this model as the “what can I get from my partner marriage“, but you can decide for yourself if you listen to the discussion. I think this is a bit disingenuous since it implies that men’s only consideration for agreeing to what amounts to a bad business contract would in any way make sense due to a desire for getting what he can out of what’s already a bad deal. Why marry at all if what you’re taking away from it is nothing you can’t get outside of marriage without the risk?

Essentially, Contractual marriage is the marriage-divorce-support structure that men are wisely hesitant about today. Dalrock once noted that sometime after the Sexual Revolutionwe moved away from the marriage model of child rearing and into the child-support model of child rearing“, and I think the Contractual model of marriage becoming the default was an integral part of this.

If you’ve ever watched the documentary Divorce Incorporated you can see the machinations of the Contractual form of marriage at work. This is just a taste of some of the real world consequences that accompany Contractual marriage’s liabilities. However, I think going in – and with the emphasis on leading with our feelings – most men have idealistic, Covenant marriage, expectations for their marriages.

It sounds pretty good, right?

And for the premarital sex mindset it’s the only game in town if they want sexual access. So, it serves a purpose to convince oneself that a man’s spouse is necessarily on the same page as they are with respect to his idealistic concept of love (versus a woman’s opportunistic concept of love). This is where most Beta men get themselves into trouble. They presume their ‘bride‘ to be shares his mutual idea of love, and combined with a potent cocktail of dopamine and endorphins, he leads with his Emotional Process rather than his Rational Process.

Off the Books Marriage

While we also discussed the issue of Responsibility vs. Authority in marriage, what got me was his marching back the question about separating a ‘Covenant’ marriage from the ‘Contractual’ marriage. This is something I’ve discussed with MGTOWs occasionally. Would marriage work if you removed the state and any entitlement to the cash & prizes liabilities from the equation?

I brought this up because this “private ceremony”, off-the-books unofficial marriage is what saved my friend Anthony Johnson from losing his ass in his own divorce. He wasn’t wise enough to see through his ex’s deceits, but he was smart enough not to involve the state in his marriage.

I was genuinely surprised to hear Dr. Piper disagree with the idea of separating the marriage models we’d discussed at the time, but to have him state that he wasn’t willing to somehow give up on the heroic fight to reform the ‘Contractual’ marriage was, in hindsight, kind of disingenuous. In both instances, with respect to headship and authority, and the reluctance to let go of the contractual definition of marriage (especially after making such an impassioned case for a covenant marriage) I can only come to the conclusion that Dr. Piper’s position on marriage is influenced by the feminist undercurrent prevalent in the church today – and without his really realizing it too.

Once again the fiscal considerations of not offending women’s (feminist influenced) sensibilities comes to the fore in another religious leader. This has been a constant theme among the Pastors and church leaders I’ve been interviewing since I started the fourth book.

Churches are business franchises today and if you want to keep the tithe checks forthcoming in order to keep the lights on pastors and church leaders need to prioritize the sensibilities of the primary consumer in the western world – women. It’s gotten to the point now that church leaders have internalized that women’s eyes and ears will be judging their words minutely in sermons and public appearances to ensure their Pastor is on ‘team woman’. This is why opposing a separation of Covenant marriage vs. the Contractual is literally a ‘no brainer’ for these men. They don’t ever think about it any other way because they’ve already adopted the feminist zeitgeist that’s assimilated their churches. To endorse that separation is to deny women their potential for cash & prizes if a man displeases God by making them unhappy.

I think maybe I expected more from Dr. Piper. I was hoping to find some common ground, but I think he may be committed to a doctrine that panders to the Feminine Imperative without realizing it. When we got to the part about headship (Corinthians) he came right out the gate with pre-qualifying headship vs. being a domineering asshole. I’ve come to expect this from a female-primary church that deemphasizes male authority. In fact, it redefines that ‘authority’ as responsibility before you get to discuss any other aspect of what women might allow as “headship”.

It’s like a mental illness with these people. If a wife isn’t perfectly happy and beautiful it’s the husbands fault.

It’s a disgusting view of marriage which can only increase unhappiness for the average Christian couple because there’s no way to keep a woman happy all the time, and, age means women are going to get old. It’s part of life, and it is enough for a woman to age gracefully without these Pastors trying to brainwash men into thinking that any lack of beauty is their fault.

7817 dalrocks Blog

Imperfect Men Vet Imperfect Women for Imperfect Marriages

The “You should’ve vetted better” or “You should’ve married a ‘real’ Christian woman” excuses are something I encounter a LOT from Christian church leaders. Dr. Piper also used this one too. It’s really the Christian version of the Quality Woman dilemma.

As I’m working my way through my fourth book and on The Red Pill & Religion this is one cop out I get regularly. Apparently no ‘real’ Christian woman would ever initiate divorce and if men were only Godly and wise enough to discern from the outset of ‘courting’ that their “bride” wasn’t a fully devoted woman of Christ then it’s their fault for marrying her – or their fault for screwing up God’s perfect plan for his married life later in the marriage. This is ex post facto rationalization that reinforces moralistic beliefs, but also justifies the reaming you’re going to take in divorce court for not being wise and Godly.

It’s basically another play on the No True Scotsman logical fallacy. “They not ‘real’ Christians/Muslims/Jews/Krishnas/etc.” should be the subtitle for my new book, I’ve heard so many times.

Deus Vult

When it comes to debating church leaders I simply cannot win the “God says so” clause. This is another obstacle to discussing Red Pill ideas in a religious context. It’s an appeal to faith that is always the go-to response to issues I bring up that they have no real answer to. That, or they don’t want to answer for fear of offending the Feminine Imperative in the church today.

Contractual” marriage is an all-downside proposition for men today. I tried to make my best case for why men shun it in the discussion. Naturally, there’s a common impulse for Publicity Pastors to AMOG from the pulpit and shame men for avoiding marriage, but they can’t argue against the marriage stats and the life-destroying fallout of divorce for men. It’s all too verifiable. The marriage & divorce rates today are unignorable, so men deductively go with the pragmatic response and avoid marriage or go MGTOW.

All that means nothing to the faithful Christian mindset. “It doesn’t matter if contractual marriage is one of the worst decisions a man can make today – “God says you should marry.”

What about the incentive of cash & prizes women have in divorce?

Doesn’t matter, God said get married

So I can’t argue with the divine creator of the universe. God says jump, so you jump. That’s the absolutist-moralist win button for any rational argument to the contrary.

Alternative link to the interview is here

Discussion at Dalrock’s Blog

Women’s Existential Fear

One of the primary perspectives of the Red Pill as a praxeology in understanding intersexual dynamics is evolutionary psychology. Even the ‘Classic Era‘ pickup artists referenced evo-psych, often without realizing it, in explaining various aspects of Game. Mystery Method itself was fundamentally rooted in the understanding of women’s (and men’s) evolutionary ‘circuitry’ as a basis for developing modern Game techniques. These were the first forays into women’s evolved mental firmware as a means to understanding the mating game we experience today – and how to use it to our best advantage as men.

However, that was really just the starting point. The Red Pill is much more dynamic than Game applications. As I’ve developed in other essays (and talks), the fundamentals of how the sexes relate with one another follow our biological realities, but also the environmental and social realities of our ancestral past. We’re still using the same circuitry in this era that our ancestors did in the past, only the context has changed. Today I want to explore the influences the legacy of this ancestry places on men and women, and also attempt to answer some questions as to why men and women fear certain aspects of the other’s evolved nature.

In my last article I made a distinction between our ancestral, localized, sexual marketplace versus the globalized SMP we find ourselves in today. This is a good starting point. In our hunter-gatherer beginnings our potential mates either came from within our tribal groups, or, when our tribe managed to overwhelm another tribe, we took war brides to breed with. This is what defined our localized SMP in the past. In fact I’d argue that a deficit in ‘marriageable’ females from within a local tribe was actually a prime motivator for going to war with an outside tribe. This is an important distinction because a lot of those same motivational dynamics are reflected today’s global SMP, and how modern intersexual dynamics have evolved.

A Need for Control

A lot of the need for social control we see coming from women and feminism today is part of an ancestral, evolved desire on the part of women to seek security in a chaotic world. Ever since the advent of unilaterally female-controlled contraception, the Sexual Revolution, and the rise of the Gynocracy, an unprecedented power over the birthing process of the human race has been transferred to only one of the two sexes necessary to perpetuate our species.

“Abortion is Eugenics” (or dysgenics) is a saying I’ve been seeing on Twitter recently. Since the Sexual Revolution we’ve not just ’empowered’ women, but men have systematically ceded any claim to our own paternity while at the same time presumed that women should, by default, be trusted with knowing what’s best for the human birthing process and raising new generations. But it’s not just abortion that is eugenics, it’s also Hypergamy and the dozens of other aspects of intersexual dynamics that western societies just presumes women should know best how to proceed with. We took the women of the Baby Boom generation at their collective word that they’d be more merciful rulers than men if we just gave them the option to be sexual with us. We foolishly believed women would police the worst aspects of their own sexual strategy after we willingly ceded power in exchange for sexual access.

Last month a reader sent me a link to a story about how Ireland had just ceded more of its own authority over their country’s reproductive fate to women by legalizing abortion. The very Catholic island of Celts has made Hypergamy its ruling motive after many years of feminist pressure. Irish women celebrated the decision to allow them to kill their unwanted children. In fact many Catholic countries all over South America are in various stages of legalizing abortion. But the sentiment about abortion in this decade is no longer one of it being a necessary evil as it was in the time of Roe vs. Wade. Today it’s cause for overt celebration among women and men alike.

Before I get run up the flagpole by critics here, my opposition to abortion does not (primarily) stem from moral reasons, it stems from objectively following the power dynamics involved and the latent purpose for abortion. Abortion is eugenics; it is the ceding of any claim to influencing paternity that men may have had for the past 100,000 years of human evolution.

So, why will women fight tooth and nail for the ‘right’ to free and safe abortion over the course of multiple generations? Why is the right to end her (and the father’s) child’s life in utero such an imperative for women?

Ask women and the feminist boilerplate answer is always “My body, my choice!“, but why is it so important to cut men entirely out of the reproductive process? What is the motivation for legally disenfranchising men from even 1% of a say in a child that is at least half his genetic legacy? This is also one of the greatest of offenses to women; that a man might have some control over women’s bodies. “Hands off my uterus!” that too is another rallying cry, but why is it such an abhorrent thought that men might have some influence in who gets born and who doesn’t?

Existential Fears & The Hypergamous Filter

There are certain fears that human beings are born with. Our evolved mental firmware is highly attuned to our own survival. That may seem simple, but we’re born with certain instinctual reservations about our environments. Snakes, spider, animals with sharp pointy natural weapons are critters we don’t have to be taught to stay away from. That fear, that caution, is part of our onboard system when we leave the womb. The same is generally true of heights and tight confined places. We also have a very defined natural instinct for revulsion. There’s actually an entire area of evo-psych study devoted to the human revulsion response. Part of our innate firmware makes us disgusted by feces, dead carcasses and putrefaction. If it’s unsanitary and might make us sick or diseased ourselves we’re repelled by it – unless we’re conditioned not to be.

The above are some pretty basic existential fears most people have. We have evolved inbuilt firmware that does its best to keep us alive, but there are other, more complex fears and accompanying revulsions that look out for our wellbeing too. The one I want to focus on here is what the Red Pill refers to as the Hypergamous Filter. That’s kind of a loose way of saying women have innate revulsions and distrusts of men who would otherwise like nothing better than the experience of having sex with them.

From our ancestral past right up until the Sexual Revolution in the mid-1960s a woman having sex was fraught with dangerous consequences. For about 100,000 years evolution wrote a breeding subroutine into the hindbrains of every human female – always doubt a man’s quality.

The Hypergamous Filter has many ways of determining quality. Last week I mentioned that women universally use a man’s height as a physical qualification for arousal/attraction. That’s one obvious criteria; check the height box, move on. I have mentioned in other essays that Hypergamy is always based on doubt – doubt that a man is the best she can do – but also the doubt as to whether that guy will stick around and stay committed to parental investment.

This Hypergamous doubt is an existential fear for women.

“What if he’s faking it?”
“What if he really isn’t who he claims to be?”
“Will he stick around after sex?”
“What if I get pregnant with his child?”

These questions, these doubts, do not stem from a woman’s Rational Interpretive Process, they are deeply rooted in her Instinctual Process.

These questions are asked beneath a woman’s cognition, and as such they comprise part of an unconscious Hypergamous filtering process that is linked to both the revulsion instinct and genuine sexual desire. This is a risk aversion instinct that has very real, life-threatening, implications to it. This is a self-preservation skepticism on the limbic level and it is the primary existential fear a woman has. And women will do anything to alleviate it. Women will do anything to ensure they have failsafes against the life-threatening consequences of having that Hypergamous filter deceived.

Why is there a ceaseless effort to criminalize PUAs approaching women on the street? Because it implies a deception of a Beta male impersonating an Alpha male for the purposes of sex. This is a crime against the Existential Fear.

The Existential Fear in women is that their innate Hypergamous Filter, their Feminine Intuition, might be fooled, and by being fooled she may either die or have her reproductive potential compromised for her lifetime by bearing and raising the child of man who is a suboptimal Hypergamous choice for her – a man who exerted his will over her Hypergamous choosing filters.

In our ancestral past, pregnancy, and/or parental investment, could be a death sentence if a woman’s Hypergamous Filter wasn’t supremely sensitive and obsessively refined. The Hypergamous Filter also evolved as a contingency against men’s biological imperative – unlimited access to unlimited sexuality.

That’s not to say pair bonding wasn’t a feature of our ancestral past, it was also a foundational aspect of mating, but it is to say that a man’s investment cost was much lower than a woman’s when it came to reproduction. That’s simple biology defining a sexual strategy for men. Pair bonding would usually last as long as it took for that child to reach survival autonomy (4-7 years). And that’s not accounting for men’s proclivity to seek extra-pair mating opportunities while pair bonded. I’ll explore this in the next essay.

Fast Times in the 21st Century

Now lets fast forward the Existential Fear and the Hypergamous Filter up to the last 60 years or so. One of the most socially destabilizing inventions of the 20th century was affording women the option to invest herself, or not, in the choices she made about her own sexuality. Unilaterally female-controlled birth control was effectively the greatest Hypergamous failsafe ever invented. It released women from the responsibility of a bad Hypergamous decision. But what it didn’t do is erase that filtering process from women’s psyches. We take it for granted, but HBC (hormonal birth control) unfettered Hypergamy for the first time in human history. And as a result men ceded more and more of their paternal interests in the human reproductive process over to women in exchange for the promise of pregnancy-free sexual access. Ostensibly, unlimited access to unlimited sexuality. Needless to say this also exacerbated women’s sexual strategy to tactically filter out unwanted males and emphasize sex with chosen males.

But the greatest sexual bargain of the 20th-21st century catastrophically backfired on men because, for all the boons of HBC, it couldn’t rewrite 100,000 years of evolved Hypergamy. And, if anything, it exacerbated women’s desire for failsafe’s against the Existential Fear of having her Hypergamous Filter fooled by deceptive men.

The social and political power men ceded to women in the wake of the Sexual Revolution has been used for one unitary purpose by women – to ensure against the Existential Fear. Why is abortion now something to be celebrated rather than mournfully accepted as necessary evil of this century? Because it alleviates the Existential Fear of bearing and raising the product of a bad Hypergamous choice.

Why did no fault divorce morph into the misandrous divorce industry we have today? It alleviates the Existential Fear. A one-sided divorce industry ensures security, support and resources that would’ve otherwise been her undoing in times before the pill. Why are the stigmas of single motherhood that existed just 60 years ago now replaced with rewarding women for their choice to become single mothers? It alleviates the Existential Fear.

When women were afforded unprecedented power and influence their first order of business was directed at changing laws to alleviate the Existential Fear. Virtually every social change, every political change, every egoistic “you go gurl” self-entitlement since the Sexual Revolution that women have initiated has had one latent purpose – alleviating the Existential Fear.

And finally, why is it that Red Pill awareness, practicing Game, a united Manosphere, and yes, even MGTOW, are perceived as an existential threat to the Feminine Imperative?

Because it all threatens to upset the security that women believe they’re entitled to in creating failsafes for women’s Existential Fear. Exposing the machinations of the Blue Pill and teaching men to unplug from a system that makes them a utility in a female-correct social order is an intolerable threat to women’s security from the Existential Fear, but it is also a new challenge the power base that security is built upon.

This is part one of a blog series.

The Global Sexual Marketplace

Before I launch into today’s essay I want to throw out a few caveats. The first is a reminder of my long-time policy of dealing with issues of race, politics and religion; and that’s to say it’s my practice leave these topics to other blogs and other writers unless those topics cross over into intersexual dynamics that are pertinent to Red Pill awareness. I feel like I need make this clear as I’m going to get into issues of race and how intersexual relations are modified by these issues today. It’s always been my belief that the shared input and related experiences of men of all races, cultures and nationality is one of the greatest strengths of the Red Pill. So it’s with this in mind that I think we need to address some of these experiences.

What got me on to this topic was the video I’ve linked above here today. As most of you know I’m not a proponent of the idea of a “Black Pill”. That is the ‘black’ part of understanding the harsh realities of what Red Pill awareness opens men’s eyes to. Accepting the uglier nature of intersexual dynamics and how it plays into today’s sexual marketplace is often something that drives some men to a kind of despondency. It can be really depressing to have Red Pill awareness destroy your long-held Blue Pill ideals – particularly when those ideals helped to give you a sense of hope in spite of your instincts telling you something different.

When I was at the 21 Convention last October I had a discussion with Dr. Shawn Smith about the nature of the Blue Pill. His question to me was something like “Don’t you think that some guys need at least a little Blue Pill to keep them going?” I’m paraphrasing here, but I’ve actually touched on this in a few prior essays. In essence, it should follow that human beings can’t handle too much ‘reality’. This is why we look for escapisms and turn our otherwise rational minds to something like faith. The human mind tries to remain hopeful in the face of dire realities; which also follows evolutionarily. Those humans who stayed optimistic in the face of crushing reality didn’t off themselves in despair and consequently passed on their genes.

That’s the nuts & bolts of it (yes, I know there’s more to it), but is this a feature or a bug in today’s realities? Willfully choosing conscious ignorance while your rational mind knows the truth can lead to despondency and depression. It’s the observer effect – observing a process will change that process – only, you’re playing that game with yourself. So, is a little bit of our Blue Pill conditioning a good thing if it gives us a hope that keeps us alive?

I’d have to say no. Because once you unplug from the Matrix going back to that ignorance is really impossible. Something in your hindbrain knows the truth about the fantasy you construct for yourself. Again, it’s playing the observer effect on oneself. And it’s just this simple truth that makes a lot of guys who are unprepared for the anger and nihilism that comes from Red Pill disillusionment to come up with things like a ‘Black Pill’.

But this essay isn’t about dealing with that despondency. I’ve already written that essay in A New Hope. This essay is about one of those ugly truths that Red Pill men have to evolve new adaptations for. You see, there is no ‘Black Pill’ – there is only the space in between a man dealing with his despondency about a harsh Red Pill truth and his crossing the abyss to accepting that truth and doing something with that information to better his life.

Local vs Global SMP

Watch the video I linked here. It’s by Black Pill 101, a channel that specializes in exactly the harsh realities of Red Pill awareness I mentioned above. It doesn’t pull any punches and for that I’m in agreement with them. Men deserve the unvarnished truth; without it they founder. This video outlines the innate difficulties Asian men face in the Global Sexual Marketplace. One of the most common requests I get for counseling is from Asian or Indian men asking me to help them improve their game. Many of them believe I have some Game solution to their getting laid with an SMV 6-7 they know from work. Many of them think they might have a chance with a modest SMV 6 if they either had some specialized technique or they could simply earn another $250K annual salary.

I honestly feel for Asian/Indian men in this respect. When I read about Aziz Ansari’s #MeToo’ing I read with morbid fascination watching his story play out with another ‘cute’ (SMV6-7) white girl. This is the stereotypical interaction. With my Red Pill Lens I saw a girl conflicted by her attraction to Aziz’s social proof (celebrity) with her visceral reaction to becoming intimate with a guy she simply wasn’t all that aroused by. This is just my personal experience, but I’ve counseled Indian (and a few Asian) men who all share a very similar frustration – they really want to get with a white American girl but they are sexually invisible to the vast majority of them.

Black Pill 101 lays out this frustration from Asian men’s perspective. If you happen to be an Asian or Indian man I’d encourage you to add your own experiences in the comments here. But from my own interactions with these men the story revolves around their investment in locking down an average white woman. They aren’t looking to spin plates. They want an LTR with a girl and most of them tend to fixate on one they know from work or a friend of a friend. Maybe that lean towards monogamy is a cultural thing, but they all seem to set their sights on the average, seemingly attainable, American girl. And almost universally they are relegated to the ‘friend zone’ or the go ‘Black Pill’ in frustration.

I’m going to look at the bigger picture here while I try to answer why this is so commonly case. In our tribalist, hunter/gatherer ancestral past our naturalistic sexual marketplace was limited to what a very localized group of individuals had to offer. We might’ve lived in groups of 100-150 ‘natives’ of our tribe. In that tribe maybe there were 10-12 females who would’ve been potential breeding/pairing candidates for a young man.

There are general arousal cues that are universal to all humans across cultures. Natural cross-culture beauty standards is something that’s been widely studied since the mid seventies – globalized beauty standards and physical prowess cues – however, the context in which those cues are expressed are (were) buffered by whatever that localized sexual marketplace (SMP) can realistically manifest.

Example: Height in men something universally agreed on as attractive/arousing for women. This is a globalized attraction cue in women. Girls all over the world overwhelmingly prefer a man to be taller than they are. This is an evolved preference because the survival implications are that a taller man is (generally) an easily identifiable aspect of physical prowess. Height implies a capacity for protection, an imposed dominance, and is a signifier of presence in a male dominance hierarchy. Whether this is the actual case is irrelevant. All that matters is that a woman’s preference for tall men to breed and pair with.

The average height of a Filipino man is around 5′ 4″. Prior to the Spanish colonizing the Philippines all Filipino women knew of men was that 5′ 4″ man. And to the 4′ 11″ average Filipino woman that was attractive. A 5′ 6-7″ man was a giant by the local SMP standards.

But the global SMP standards are simply ‘taller men are more attractive’. So when the Spanish/Western peoples came to the island it introduced Filipinas to a new standard: the 5′ 7″ Spanish man. Now the globalized SMP began to modify the local SMP. Then, eventually, along came the first 6 foot tall Caucasian European guy. Then the first Black man, etc. Gradually the localized (previously tribally-defined) SMP to include the new possibilities of women breeding/pairing with men outside their own tribe.

Localized Contingencies

This is only one easy example of how a globalized standard of what defines the whole of the sexual marketplace redefines, and often replaces, the localized standard of attraction/arousal for women. There are many other ways this out-tribe influence introduces a new global standard for the SMP. This can include force as well as by invitation or local social norms shifting to accommodate the new global SMP. When a tribe is conquered by another it forcibly alters the other’s sexual marketplace standards (War Brides).

As such, societal standards shifted to favor social practices that defended the local SMP integrity of that tribe. This is nothing groundbreaking – tribalist humans have been creating social and religious contingencies to buffer agains women’s Hypergamy, and to solidify the integrity of the local SMP for millennia. And these norms affect both the men and the women of that culture.

Cultural norms that forbid intermarriage (really interbreeding) of women with out-tribe men are common, but there are also:

  • Prearranged Marriages
  • Guarding/Prioritizing Virginity
  • Buffering Against Hypergamy
  • Socially Enforced Monogamy

I should also add that there is the Samson Contingency which is a buffer set against (powerful) men taking out-tribe wives. It may’ve been acceptable to have sex with out-tribe women (rape or prostitution), but for the integrity of the tribe, that man was only to form lasting bonds (via marriage) from within that tribe. This kept vital resources within that tribe.

A Modern SMP

In an upcoming essay I’ll be exploring the deeper reasons why Blank-Slate Equalism is so difficult to purge from our present-day social order. However, I need to detail a bit of this now. We live in a feminine-primary social order (the Gynocracy), but without the Blank-Slate much of the preconception of it collapse. One reason Blank-Slate Equalism remains a social norm (despite a world of empirical proof that destroys it) is because it serves to disguise the ugly realities of a sexual marketplace defined by human evolution. Particularly so in an age of expanding SMP globalism. It’s not just culture, politics, ideology and socioeconomic considerations that are tied to globalization; a global scale sexual marketplace is following among all of this.

In the age of global mass communication our localized (tribal) SMPs are replaced with a global standard. That global standard destroys the old local SMPs, but it also selects-out the men who don’t measure up to its standards. This is something I think most MGTOWs and all Incels instinctively know: according to the global SMP selection criteria there are some men who will simply not be selected-for. If the Black Pill 101 video about how Asian women don’t select Asian men for mating opportunities is any indicator, I think Asian and Indian men are facing this head on today.

Now, I expect the first rebuttal to this proposition will be that the present, global SMP is a reflection of Westernized beauty standards and horribly distorted expectations. Asian/Indian men seem to want nothing to do with the native women who are ruthless in expressing that they want nothing to do with them. What globalized demographic is really left for these men? The same might be said about socially inept white men seeking an easier sexual marketplace in Asian women. All of this is simple deductive adaptations men will naturally resort to when it comes to solving the problems of sex and reproduction.

I’m totally accepting that there is a societal influence in all of this. However, I think the incentives to look into the opportunities that a larger global SMP offers is still based on Darwinistic principles. Even Western romanticism is still founded upon natural female arousal cues that define the larger SMP. The global SMP is rooted in the naturalistic, evolved (not socialized) elements that trigger arousal, incentivize parental investment and play off women’s dualistic sexual strategies (Alpha Seed/Beta Need).

The Global Social Order

Finally, I want to point out that while our expanding globalization has given rise to a global SMP, that expansion is rooted in Gynocentrism. Since the time of the Sexual Revolution an unfettered, unconstrained Hypergamy has dictated this global sexual marketplace. The world-scale SMP is driven by women’s prime-directives, not men’s. As women are afforded more authority to direct society, their reproductive interests are what defines the global SMP. And all unchecked and unbalanced by any male interests. This is important to consider when we see the old tribalist, local SMPs decay to extinction. The checks and balances on Hypergamy that existed in the past were the creations of a smaller localized SMP. One that was familiar with the risks and results of allowing men and women of that particular tribe to reproduced without thought to the integrity of the tribe.

This is why Blank-Slate Equalism, as big a lie as it is, is so necessary to maintaining the unfettered Hypergamy that the global SMP is based on. Without its social constructionism, without its presumption of coequal agency, the Gynocentric power base is replaced with conventional, evolved gender norms that would favor men’s influence in the global SMP. Gynocentrism needs Blank-Slate Equalism to disguise its authority and influence. Notions of ‘Equal Value’ and social constructionism are needed to cover the ugly Darwinsim that unchecked Hypergamy thrives in.

The Real You

One thing I’m always asked by guys is “How do I switch from a Beta loser to and Alpha winner?” There’s always a lot involved in how a guy can transition from one state to another and to today’s generation of low SMV men if you don’t have their immediate solution you must be selling snake oil. Most guys want a magic formula. They want a mantra to repeat or a set of steps to follow that will shift them from Beta virgin into Alpha cad. 

Well, maybe not ‘cad’. Most guys still cling to their Blue Pill hopes and attempt to see what the Red Pill presents to them as a key to getting to their Dream Girls. As I’ve pointed out countless times, a majority of men’s (80% Beta) only real problem is finding that one girl that fits their sexual strategy as ideal. In The New Polyandry I touched on this a bit; the Blue Pill conditions men to expect the old social contract of monogamy to be his default setting, even if he’s a high SMV man and could actually pursue a non-exclusive sexual strategy.

However, real change takes time. I know that sounds cliché, but part of that change almost always involves some kind of reassessment of one’s life during that process – and that’s always hard for the TL;DR generation. One of the more daunting aspects of unplugging a guy from the Matrix is that the goals he had while he was Blue Pill conditioned and ‘plugged in’ tend to fall away once he’s shifted to a Red Pill aware mentality. The “girl of his dreams” loses her veneer of desirability. The previous goal state that was defined for him by Blue Pill ideals is no longer the end he wished to achieve when he started his transformation. I think this is sometimes the hardest aspect of ‘awakening’ for guys to accept. Anger at oneself for wasting so much time and so much potential for not grasping the truth sooner is part of that process. So too is a sense of helplessness, if not hopelessness, that accompanies the realization that a man might not have what it takes (at the moment) to achieve what he’d like in life in this Red Pill paradigm.

There was a time when I was 21-22 and I first began playing in the Hollywood metal scene of the late 80s that I had one such transformation. By the time I was 20 I’d already been put through the wringer by my cheating ex-girlfriend from high school – who I was sure would be my eventual wife. I was Beta in the extreme, and thoroughly Blue Pill conditioned at that point, but I was going through what I termed the “Break Phase” in the timeline I created in Preventive Medicine.It took me about a year to shift from that mental state to one of making myself my Mental Point of Origin. Once I had – and once I’d decided I wanted to experience sex with hotter women – I found that through trial and error I could direct the path of what my personality would be, and what was going to be acceptable or not. I’d been emancipated from the expectations of being a Nice Guy as Game to essentially not caring what I was supposed to be doing to placate women. I figured out what worked for me.

I finally got into a ‘real band’ at 21. I played clubs every Friday or Saturday night between the ages of 21 and 25. I honestly only left my parents home because it was less convenient to bang a girl I’d met at a club on the weekend. But with that new identity came a new access to sex with women I could only fantasize about in a Hustler or a Penthouse magazine. The pivotal point came when one of my girlfriends (I had a rotation of about 4-5) was a bonafide swimsuit model. I thought I had finally ‘arrived’ at that point because my head was still measuring success by what the 15 year old version of myself thought was ‘it’. She was hotter and more fun in bed than any girl I’d gotten with previously. But my mindset was still mired in my Blue Pill ideals. According to those ideals she was the goal. And she was, until I managed to pull a centerfold who happened to live near me in Southern California. (Ask me about it sometime).

The point I’m making here is that a guy has to reconsider what his conditioning has taught him he should consider success based on the foundation of that conditioning. It wasn’t so much that I’d made myself my Mental Point of Origin, rather it was that I simply wanted to make the most of that time of my life and to do so meant that I needed to change my mind about who I wanted to be. I had transitioned from one personality to another and I liked it. I was rewarded with women’s genuine sexual desire and this served to further reinforce that new me as the genuine me. This begs the question, what is authenticity when it comes to ‘just being yourself’?

Later in my twenties I made the dangerous decision to involve myself with a woman who was clinically, psychologically disturbed. Of course she never wore a t-shirt that said “I’m insane” and I had wound myself up in her neurosis over the course of about four years. You can read the details about this relationship in Borderline Personality Disorder, but one thing I don’t get into in that essay is how I willingly became someone else – fundamentally changing my personality again – in order to solve this girl’s problems because I believed that who I was when we met was so flawed it was causing her neurosis. Now granted, I didn’t understand what I was involving myself in, but my point again is that who I was had shifted, but my core, internalized belief set was still very much informed by my Blue Pill conditioning. 

People who ride hard on the Personal Responsibility belief love to think that something so damaging must be self apparent. No one’s really a victim because they should’ve seen it coming – as they believe they would – but the reality is we want to believe that the Blue Pill ideals we’ve been raised with can come true. We want to believe that the ideals we internalized since five years old and on into our adulthood are in fact a possibility. In all my writing I make the case for a need to unplug oneself from the Matrix that is this Blue Pill conditioning. That’s what Red Pill awareness is; an awareness of the false existence we used to live out according to what others – often well meaning others – would like us to believe is true, because they want it to be true for themselves too. When I allowed myself to change my personality for my BPD girlfriend I had no idea that I was even doing so because I wanted to believe that she represented the ideal that the Blue Pill had raised me to think would be possible. A woman who fucked like a pornstar and looked like a swimsuit model and “loved me as much as I loved her”. And this came after I’d already check a swimsuit model and a centerfold off of my bucket list.

Personality is malleable, in fact it’s so malleable we often don’t realize we’re forging a new one. In both of these instances I’ve described that shift in personality was not by my conscious choice. I knew what I wanted to do; even in the worst case scenario with my BPD my shift was prompted because I thought if I changed my personality her own psychosis would resolve itself. My Blue Pill conditioning exacerbated this because it always teaches men that any problem a woman has with a guy is due to his own lack of investment, support, sensitivity or not giving enough of themselves. This is a very damning aspect of the Blue Pill and it’s also one that guys will reinforce in themselves and with other men because they believe their sacrifices are what women appreciate.

Beneath all this was my Blue Pill subroutine manifesting itself. Hell, even when I was on top of my game in the Hollywood clubs I still wanted to find a ‘good girl’ to be my girlfriend. I had changed my personality to succeed in getting what I wanted, but my root programming was still Blue Pill. Many a famous PUA has come to the conundrum of trying to make his Blue Pill idealistic dreams come true because he learned how to reliably ‘get the girl’. Good Game doesn’t make a man Red Pill aware. It’s certainly the gateway to understanding women’s nature and the nature of intersexual dynamics, but killing the Beta is a long term project.

So how do you shift from Beta Nice Guy to Alpha Cad? These are euphemisms usually meant to disparage the whole idea of changing yourself into something better. Most people don’t have it within themselves to even have the insight to think they’d ever want to change their nature. It’s easier to trot out “Just be yourself” when someone has that introspect. People don’t want you to change. Your predictability gives them comfort. You’re an easy element to deal with so they think that if you act in some new way you’re not being authentic. You’re a wannabe, a poseur, and they need you to behave predictably because it gives them a sense of control over you. Others want to pigeonhole you. They want to categorize you into immutable personality types or astrological designations that make them feel better about dealing with you. Again, if they can categorize you, if they can make you believe they know the truth of it, you’re just that much easier to control. Humans have a need to see patterns in their environment. The world is a chaotic place so it comes natural to us to think we can set some kind of willful order on it.

Eventually, after I’d finally torn myself away from my BPD girlfriend I returned to that Alpha personality that had been so successful for me, only this time I had finally realized that I needed to make myself my Mental Point of Origin. I looked back on all the women I’d applied the Blue Pill set of rules, ideals, hopes and dreams with. I was 26 and had nothing to show for all the potential that people kept telling me I had. I had done everything according to the old set of books; I was supportive, kind, sensitive, uplifting and empowering to every woman I’d been in a relationship with because I thought that was what would make me desirable. But as I looked back on all of that I realized I had done so at the expense of myself – at the expense of my potential. That sacrifice will alwayslead a man to his own destruction. I thank God it didn’t lead to my own.

It was at this point in my life that I realized that I had to unfuck my life and that meant a radical reimagining of who I wanted to be going forward. I get asked a lot about how I became unplugged and my usual answer is that it was a gradual process. This is true, but it was at this point I had to reject all the lies and idealistic fantasies that I’d been raised to believe in; to invest my ego in. I made a point to spell out to guys in A New Hope that you will never achieve Blue Pill ideals with Red Pill awareness and this is where that comes from. Unplugging, killing the Beta, reinventing who you are is not only possible for you, but it’s necessary to sustain you in a life of your own imagining. This doesn’t happen just by reading a book or going to a seminar, ultimately you have to live it and internalize that new you. You have to do this in spite of friends who want you to be ‘authentic’ and stay the old you so you’ll be comfortable to them.

All of this takes time, persistence and introspection, but it starts with an act of will on your part. You will only get what you have gotten if you keep doing what you have done. I can teach you Game. I can teach you the habits that would make others believe you’re a self-sufficient Alpha success, but only you can change your authentic personality. This is where a lot of guys lose the trail when it comes to being Red Pill aware. They read my books, they open their eyes, but they don’t know what to do with the information. Rich Cooper once told me that reading The Rational Male was like drinking from a firehose. There’s a lot to digest and a lot to confront with regards to how that information shows you, convicts you, of how you lived your life up to this point. But what do you do with it? Knowing is half the battle, the other half is action. The other half is implementing that knowledge to your own advantage.

Ever since I started writing I’ve always referred to myself as a Lesser Alpha. Some people think that’s self-deprecating, others think I’m just a married Beta with delusions of Alpha. Whatever. Either way, I’m a guy who took this knowledge and applied it to serve my own best interests and forge a truly authentic personality based on what I understand of what we call the Red Pill. I created a me of my own volition based on a realistic understanding of intersexual dynamics, but also of a better understanding of myself in that Red Pill paradigm as a result of it.

So, who is the real you? Who decides what your real personality is and what is authentic for you? What is the estimate that your  personality is based on? I get sick of hearing women and men talk about finding themselves. Women love the idea of a journey of self discovery. This is a fantasy of Blue Pill idealism meant to, again, keep one in a state of helplessness and hypoagency. Women use this garbage as a convenient rationale meant to excuse their past bad decisions. 

Red Pill men don’t find themselves, they build themselves. 

They forge themselves  into a creation of their own choosing based on realistic assessments of themselves, their conditions and the world that challenges them not to build himself. I wrote this essay to encourage you, but also to warn you that this building takes time, and you will meet all manner of resistance to the masculine project that is you.

State of the Manosphere 2018

Tonight at 10pm eastern my State of the Manosphere address goes live. I’ll be answering question in real time in the chat, but once this is up and on the 21 Convention You Tube channel I’ll be answering Q&A primarily on the comment thread of this post.

As I’ve mentioned in my last few posts, much of what I predicted to come for the next two years, with respect to our gender politics landscape, has come to pass far sooner than I expected. I fully expect the 2019 Super Bowl advertising to be a parade of misandrous hate directed at what the Feminine Imperative perceives as their ideological and political enemies – conventionally masculine men.

Furthermore, the scope of the APA’s guidelines about masculinity is revealing itself to be much more extensive with respect to ideological purity than any real science.

The APA ruling ‘traditional’ masculinity as a psychological disorder is also proving itself to be a part of a much larger coordinated attack on who the #resistance and #MeToo believe will be their primary opposition in the coming election cycle. The Gillette agitprop video and the PETA video were only the opening salvos to build the groundwork against conventional masculinity. I’ve seen damn near every article decrying ‘toxic’ masculinity since the beginning of the new year refer to the APA guidelines as a kind of Papal bull for their believers. Expect to see more media use this as a basis for their further demonizing men as we move into the election cycle.

Speaking of which, in the first 3 weeks of 2019 we’ve also seen an almost entirely female set of candidates declare themselves as running for their party’s nomination. Kamala Harris, Elizabeth Warren, Karen Gillibrand, and a few others couldn’t wait for the clock to strike midnight on December 31st, 2018. This was also something I alluded to in our December 29th episode of The Red Man Group; a vagina will be a prerequisite for consideration for the Democratic nomination in 2020.

Anyway, those were just a few things I saw coming last Fall. Let me know what you think about this talk. A lot of convention attendees told me it was one of my best. I hope you think so too.

Gender War

Well, once again my thought process for the next post is interrupted by another real-world example of what I’ve been discussing on this blog for some time now. My State of the Manosphere address I delivered at the 21 Convention last October is set to drop next week. I’m not going to tell which day exactly, but I feel it’s necessary to break a little protocol to make a larger point in this essay.

As most readers know, in my speech I addressed some of the social shifts in narrative that I believe we can expect in 2019-2020. Much of this foreshadowing was about how it will be necessary for a feminine-primary social order to ’till the fields’ socially in order to lay the ground work for the 2020 election cycle. On December 29th, on the Year in Review episode of The Red Man Group, I also made a few more predictions for 2019, in which I said the next Democratic presidential candidate to run against Donald trump will be a woman. Maybe that’s not too much of a stretch to believe, but I also predicted that in order to have any realistic chance of success the entirety of western American culture will need to be primed to accept a female candidate that will likely not be Hillary this time.

In my speech, and if you’ve been following my Twitter feed, I make mention of a coming #genderwar. A lot of this prediction came from the cultural suspicions that in present day America we are now in the midst of an ideological ‘cold war’. A large part of that cold war centers on issues of gender . If the U.S. populace is to accept new female candidate they will need to be ‘softened up’ with a cultural shift that empowers women to degrees never seen before. Furthermore, there will need to be a reverse effort in disempowering men. This is disempowerment has taken many forms over the past 3-4 years with social pushes for #MeToo and it’s later weaponization revealed its latent purpose – it was never about equality or raising awareness of sexual misconduct; it has only been an effort in silencing men and instilling fear. The MeToo weaponization effort came into full view during the Kavanaugh hearing in 2018. No longer was it a grass-roots hashtag ostensibly about raising awareness of sexual misconduct, now it became the weapon of socio-economic threat that the Village has always intended it to be.

However, for all the threat MeToo represents as a social weapon against men, it will only be one such weapon the Village uses in the coming Gender War. Last week I wrote about the new official guidelines issuance from the American Psychological Association (APA) deeming that “traditional” masculinity was harmful to men and boys. The decree was based on the flimsy and biased determinations of an association that sets the standards for licensed psychologists in this country. To act in defiance of this militantly feminist guideline risks the livelihoods of any psychologist who disagrees with it. And this issuance was only the latest, most visible, move against masculinity in a string of public and state university classes and organization attempting to categorize masculinity as a “disorder”. The push is literally an effort to classify “traditional masculinity” as a psychological disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) used by all psychologists.

I could bog myself down in how the APA have become the lords of the new church in carrying feminist ideological water, but this would miss the forest for the trees. The larger narrative here is what’s in play. And that narrative is one of getting a larger society to accept, by default, that the inherent nature of masculinity is evil. It’s now less about ridiculing men (though that’s definitely still a tactic), and more about establishing a qualitative state of masculinity being a personal and social evil.

In the manosphere we’ve always sussed out how western society has been Fempowered while men have become more and more feminized. Today this is not enough. Today we are being programmed to believe that any masculinity, in all its aspects, is not only anti-social, but an abnormality – a certifiable disease. And anyone who would dare to disagree with this will, as Roosh once wrote, ‘have their bread taken from them‘.

In Male Control I explored what I saw as a narrative shift coming from the Village with respect to masculinity. This post was written after the Las Vegas mass shooting in October of 2017 (for which we have no definitive answers, and even less people asking questions) and in its wake came the predictable series of articles from the Fem-Stream media. Usually this narrative starts with appeals for gun control, then it shifts off to how it’s always men or boys and ‘toxic’ masculinity, and OMG we need to teach our boys to be better girls. This time though it was different. The narrative shifted to “masculinity itself is toxic”. In that 2017 article I predicted that this would be the new message coming from the Village for the foreseeable future. And right cue the concurrent mass shooting events and any incident of “men behaving badly” in the MeToo era was (still is) written from the ‘masculinity IS toxic’ perspective.

Well, the future is now. We are in a post-‘toxic’ masculinity era. That narrative has been replace by a ‘Masculinity is toxic’ message. No longer is it about certain, perceived negative aspects of masculinity being toxic – if you are male, you need to learn to repress your maleness altogether. We are no longer just teaching our boys like defective girls, the Village is teaching men they need to become woman-like in order to be an acceptable member of western society.

Less than a week after the APA’s holy decree that ‘traditional’ masculinity is a psychological disorder we see the now infamous Gillette “commercial”. In this video men are ubiquitously portrayed as ridiculous buffoons, but also as borderline perverts, potential rapists, oblivious fathers and uncontrollable hard-ons. The message is overwhelmingly “masculinity is this, you males should do the opposite”. And this is the message most plugged in men got when they watched the show. What they fail to realize, due to a continuous feed of the narrative, is the overwhelmingly misandrous subtext to the video.

This narrative is the same one I wrote about in Good Humans. There was a message that accompanied feminist mothers’ boys when they marched in the Women’s Marches of 2017-2018; it was no longer ‘Boys Will Be Boys’ but ‘Boys Will Be Good Humans’. This then begs the premise, if you are a boy, if you are male, then you are not a Good Human. This is a fundamental redefining of what it means to be a man, according to the Village. In the Red Pill we understand the importance placed on living out the conventional definition of masculinity – manhood is not something to be given or taken away by the ambiguities of gynocentric society. But this is what the Village is fostering as it’s direction for men. It’s not enough for them to withhold your ‘manhood’, now if you resist their correction, if you embrace your innate male self, you are a “no good human.”

I’m hesitant to call this Gillette video a “commercial”. In actuality it is a feminist agitprop piece directed by a well-known radical feminist, Kim Gerhig. Kim and her producer, Sally Campbell, are notorious for producing exactly this deliberate misandry when they’re not creating videos of singing vaginas. This, of course, is the ugly detail the Fem-Stream media would rather the mainstream pay no mind to. Our attention is supposed to be either on the message of “Men need to do better, what’s so wrong with that?” or “Only man-babies are crying about this ad.”

If this sounds like the Male Catch 22, you’re correct:

For the past 60 years feminization has built in the perfect Catch 22 social convention for anything masculine; The expectation to assume the responsibilities of being a man (Man Up) while at the same time denigrating asserting masculinity as a positive (Shut Up). What ever aspect of maleness that serves the feminine purpose is a man’s masculine responsibility, yet any aspect that disagrees with feminine primacy is labeled Patriarchy and Misogyny.


Essentially, this convention keeps beta males in a perpetual state of chasing their own tails. Over the course of a lifetime they’re conditioned to believe that they’re cursed with masculinity (Patriarchy) yet are still responsible to ‘Man Up’ when it suits a feminine imperative. So it’s therefore unsurprising to see that half the men in western society believe women dominate the world (male powerlessness) while at the same time women complain of a lingering Patriarchy (female powerlessness) or at least sentiments of it. This is the Catch 22 writ large. The guy who does in fact Man Up is a chauvinist, misogynist, patriarch, but he still needs to man up when it’s convenient to meet the needs of a female imperative.


I wrote this back in 2011, but these truths are timeless. The Feminine Imperative will always fall back on the duplicity of expecting Old Books responsibility from men in tolerating New Books expectations from women.

The latent message in the Gillette video is ‘men are bad humans’. Men are no longer even referred to as “men”; they are now “Allies”. The compliant ones are Allies to be used in policing the bad humans who fail to acknowledge and promote the interests of the Feminine Imperative. Just as #MeToo is a weapon to be used against ‘bad humans’, so too are Allies to be used in opposition control. And likewise, Allies use the same social shaming tactics that the Village has taught them to use.

But wait, there’s more. Not to be outdone by Gillette, now we get a video from PETA portraying men as,…guess what? Yes, ridiculous buffoons obsessed with their genitals. This is interesting considering that Kim Gehrigs agency, Somesuch, seems to be fixated on vaginas – but vagina wallpapers are okay in this world.

You’ll once again notice that the APA guidelines are being quoted here as gospel less than a week after they were made public. “Traditional” masculinity is the bugbear again, but it’s almost like this was part of a planned narrative. You can ‘cure’ toxic masculinity by going vegan.

Next we have confirmation of this connection just a day after the Gillette “commercial” went public. “Scientists” agree,…”

Again, it’s almost as if these articles were written in advance of the APA ruling as well as the timing of these videos. Now, I know, that all sounds conspiratorial. It may be some coincidence, or perhaps this is a topic that inspires a lot of writers to write about it immediately. The truth of it will come out in the coming months.

However, my predictions about all this have been remarkably accurate thus far. In fact, if I was wrong about anything it was in my thinking this social narrative campaign would be more gradual. I shouldn’t have underestimated the readiness that the Village had in wanting to spit this misandrous venom. They are going to go hard from the outset and I believe the next 2 years will be a defining moment for conventional masculinity versus its distortion and perversion at the hands of women and their allies. The line will be drawn between men who embrace their dominant, beneficent, conventional masculinity and males who toe the feminist line, gender-loathing and hoping for affirmation from their female ‘betters’ by ridiculing men who embrace it.

Understand, all of this is part of the groundwork necessary to create a social condition of distrust between the sexes. This is a Genderwar of the Village’s creation. The pretense of equality between the sexes is officially gone. Women are encouraged to embrace female supremacism now:

I would expect the next big dust up in this cold war will be on Super Bowl Sunday. The millions of ad dollars spent on these commercials will be a testament to the message of the companies’ position in this Genderwar. Remember, prior to the 2016 elections, many companies poured millions into ad buys and re-scripted their movies and TV shows based on their belief that by then we’d have the First Female President. That was a bad bet for them, but it shows how they operate. It proves how ad agencies and Villagecreatives make cultural assumptions and then sell companies on them. That’s exactly what Gillette has done here, but they weren’t the first old school company to buy into the feminist hate of masculinity; Campbell’s soup was the first to fall.

Bear in mind, these videos, these ads, these movies (Ms. Marvel will be another hit against masculinity) are only the opening salvoes in this offensive. I fully expect that by the time we get into the last 6-8 months of the next election cycle this Genderwar will have the sexes more polarized than at any time in human history. Men must be seen as a vile enemy if the Village is to ever get its First Female President. If this backfires on them it will be because they pressed too far in their zeal to debase men. They want to kick men in the nuts so bad that they might engender more sympathy or female backlash than the manufactured rage to prompt women and allies to vote for their female candidate.

Going forward, all politics will be gender politics. The litmus test for all leadership will be about vaginas and penises. We’re already seeing this Genderwar rhetoric come to the surface in the incoming fresh-women class of this year’s congress. The only imperative they have is destroying masculinity and raising up female supremacism, and this imperative will be borne out by every word they speak and every policy they concern themselves with.