Respect Reconsidered – Part I

Thank you for your patience in my absence. I’ve been focusing intensely on the 4th book for the past 2 months and I will be for the foreseeable future. The good news is I’m ‘in the zone‘ so to speak. I have the ability to occasionally get myself into a flow state where an idea I was originally working on branches off into other ideas that I have to follow or else I risk losing the branch altogether.

This is just how my mind works. Regular viewers of my podcasts understand this in real-time. I can start off with a solid premise – often one I’ve been considering (repeating) since the early days – and as I’m making it I consider how it affects other ideas and I have to follow that thread. I know, it’s annoying sometimes, but I do my best to organize my thoughts once they’re all out on the table.

I do this in my ideation process when I’m writing too. Right now I’m looking at no fewer than eight notebooks (9 if you count my gym log) that I keep to return to when I’m exploring ideas. Two of these are full. The oldest I’ve had since my first book was published, but I keep returning to it because I scribbled down ideas regarding religion and the Red Pill back then. This was from an era when I was much more active on Dalrock’s blog and I was hammering things out with a lot of guys struggling with Red Pill awareness, and reconciling it with their religious convictions. It was then I came across an unpublished reconsideration of the concept of Respect. I titled it Respect Reconsidered with the intent of coming back to an essay I wrote in 2012 called Respect. This original essay was inspired by some of my earliest conversations on the venerable SoSuave forums circa 2002-2010. I still think it holds up pretty well, but my reinterest in the topic of respect has come anew from my working on this fourth book.

So, at the risk of giving away a little bit of book 4, I’m going to delve into the concept of respect today.

God is Love?

Book 4 is about squaring Red Pill praxeology (deal with it) with religion. As a part of this I’ve had to re-outline my original premise on Love and how men and women approach love from different concepts. I wont bore you with reiterating it here (there’s a whole category on love in the side bar), but suffice to say that men and women come to love, and have an understanding of love, based on gendered ideals that are specific to our biological and psychological differences as men and women. Most intersexual conflicts between men and women are rooted in the presumption of a mutual, commonly understood concept of what love is to both sexes. The truth is men and women hold differing mental models of what legitimate “real” love means to them. Each sex arrives at this understanding as a result of their experience as a man or a woman, and then molded by outside influences and innate idealism.

This was an important distinction to consider while I’ve been exploring the way men and women idealize the concept of divine love from a god or some metaphysical source. Each sex has a gendered concept of love that they believe the other sex shares with them, but in fact doesn’t naturally come to without some education or experience. It’s this presumption and misunderstanding that is the source of conflict between men and women and how they expect the other to Just Get It with respect to how they’d have the other sex love them.

But if men and women have different, innately gendered concepts of love is it possible that there are other higher concepts they might not share the same ideas about, but presumes the other sex just gets? I believe so, and Respect is at the top of the list of those higher concepts.

Respect is earned?

When I was having my now infamous discussion with Andrew Tate a month ago we (quite unintentionally) hit upon the concept of respect and how men and women view it differently. A lot of my female viewers – particularly the newer female viewers – despised the truths that we were discussing about the nature of women:

“No woman would ever agree to ‘share a hot Alpha’! Any woman who would must not respect herself.”

“No woman wants to have sex with a guy she doesn’t respect! If she’s not fucking you with any real desire it’s because she doesn’t respect the guy she’s with.”

“You can’t expect a woman to submit to a man she doesn’t respect.”

These were a few of the comments and responses that got me thinking; Respect is an idea that men and women hold different concepts of as a result of our innate sexual differences. The criteria that would prompt respect in a woman is not the same that prompts it in a man.

A lot gets made about mutual respect being a keystone of a good relationship. It’s one of those sayings like “Open communication is the basis of a healthy relationship” or “Relationship take a lot of work.” Respect is another truism that sounds right. Because it’s so ambiguous, and it’s generally only legitimized according to one sex, it’s easy (mostly for women) to use a “lack of respect” as leverage or an alibi to excuse behavior or a misunderstanding between men and women.

The concept of respect today is cheap. We use it far too readily to explain away why we, or someone we identify with did what they did. We use a convenient, subjective understanding of respect as a qualifier for describing what we agree or disagree with. And we use this cheapened “respect” to grade a person’s integrity according to what we think others should agree or disagree with – usually by how it aligns with our own interests.

Male Respect is not the same as Female Respect

The popular concept is that Respect is something that should be a default setting. People deserve respect. Disrespecting someone, or ambiguously implying a ‘dis‘ might be enough to get your ass kicked. Today’s globalized concept of respect is the subjective female concept – respect is always on. This is a respect based on ‘grace‘, it just is, and it should be freely given to discourage the idea that anyone is greater or lesser than another. We all deserve respect is very much a collectivist form of respect.

At first I thought that maybe Respect was something being confused with common courtesy, but no. There are two main dictionary definitions of what respect is, and this is where we will see the gendered difference between these concepts:

Respect

1. A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

2. Due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others.

Courtesy

1. The showing of politeness in one’s attitude and behavior toward others.

Courtesy and the feminine form of Respect (2.) are very similar. Today’s global respect is rooted in the feminine form. I’ll explain this below, but a default respect based on race, gender, sexual orientation, culture, religion and other aspects of human diversity is the feminine concept; unearned and by default always ‘on’.

Women just are. Men must become.

This is an old Manosphere maxim. I’ve used it many times to describe the male Burden of Performance. To be a human male is to exist in a dominance hierarchy until your last day. Men must perform. In fact, it is part of our inborn nature to want to perform for women because it is the most deductive way to solve men’s reproductive problem. When a young boy sees a pretty girl for the first time his natural impulse is to find a way to draw her attention. Ride a wheelie down the street on his bicycle or some other, usually risk taking, feat to prove physical prowess and a capture her attention. Most male animals do some form of this showing off to get a female interested in eventually breeding with him. The PUA concept of Peacocking and why it’s effective finds its roots in this dynamic. Call that being a Dancing Monkey if you like, but performance comes naturally to men.

Competence, physical prowess, creative intelligence, dominance, social proof and preselection are the metric by which we rate a man’s respectability. The Burden of Performance is not only about women determining who they’ll choose to mate with, it’s also about men’s merit-based ranking of respectability and admirability. This applies to all social interactions (family, career, military, athletics, etc.). It is a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements that makes a man respectable. How we define this respectability by context of cultural, moralistic or personal metrics is the topic for the next essay in this series.

Male Respect is for Male Space

Of course, this definition can apply to exceptional women, but this concept of respect is male in origin. This male form of respect is part of a male dominance hierarchy. Women can insist on being included in this definition, but it rarely works out in their favor – at least not in the same way that a default female form of respect works for women. One reason women (the Feminine Imperative) insists on assimilating Male Space is in order to restructure it to have access to this male form of respectability. The problem is that in restructuring that space to accommodate their deficits, women fundamentally alter the nature of that male form of respect.

TheWarrior Princess strong female lead mythology that Hollywood writers think is empowering to women isn’t believable because our hindbrains understand the deception that’s being played on it. We’re supposed to respect this fictitious archetype in a male form of respectability, but it falls short for us because 100,000 years of evolution prevents our hindbrains from suspending our disbelief.

We know what usually happens when women are called to measure up to a male Burden of Performance. Today, transgender male athletes competing and dominating in female-division sports are a sharp reminder of this performance-to-respect distinction in gender. The gynocentric element that squawks the loudest about gender being a social construct is the same element that complains about male athletes putting female athletes to shame in the same sport or activity while masquerading as female. As a result, we don’t respect men who pretend to be women, and then outclass them in competency, in order to appeal to a male form of performance-based respectability. Our hindbrains, men and women’s, reject the legitimacy of what we’re expected (by a gynocentric social order) to respect by merit.

Men earn no admiration from beating girls, but women always are afforded admiration for defeating men. Why? Because our hindbrain presumes a state of performance superiority on the part of men.

Female Respectability

Women’s respectability comes by default.

Respect by virtue of just being female is due to all women, irrespective of performance. In a gynocentric social order this form of respect is the common one applied to social forms of respect. I’m still on the fence as to whether common courtesy is a part of this form of respect. As I mentioned above, default courtesy and respect are due to any and all based on race, creed, religion, etc. This is the due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others. So it could be that courtesy is the expression of this default respect when we’re talking about larger narratives of respect (race, religion, culture, etc.) In either instance, respect is unmerited and really cheapened in a feminine-primary context.

But for women, just to be a female is to be entitled to respect; and only in the circumstance of intra-sexual competition among women is this form of respect ever challenged. Default respect for women is utilitarian for virtually all women. The entitlement to respect is constantly leveraged for advantage and special dispensation among women with men.

Women just are, is the premise here. Female respectability is never merit based, though it can be lost if a woman is convinced that she “has no respect for herself” or if someone casts that woman as self-loathing, but this is only effective when it comes from other women. In a feminine-primary social order men can never challenge a woman’s respectability without the risk of incurring some social backlash or damage to his own performance-based respectability. And labels of sexist, misogynist and chauvinist await any man who would challenge the default respect that is due to women.

Chivalry, Virtue and Female Respectability

A lot of this impression is the result of the old social contract and men’s evolved instinct to protect women. This protector instinct will also be the topic of another essay, but suffice to say that the evolved imperative to protect women (sperm is cheap, eggs are expensive) crosses over into the chivalrous notion of protecting the honor of a lady. At various points in human history (western and eastern) this protector instinct has crossed over into societal practices. During the era of Courtly Love a woman’s virtue became something to defend – and by defending that virtue a man merited respect by earning a woman’s favor. I’ve detailed this dynamic in prior essays; the romanticized form of Chivalry was a means to female power in an epoch when the entire social order was effectively a Male Space. Romanticized Chivalry was the feminism of its time.

The Feminine Imperative understood the protector tendency in men and exploited it in the practices of courtly love or romantic love being elevated to a requisite criteria for male respectability. The social pedestalization of women that forms the basis of the old social contract we know today was started in the ideals of romanticized chivalry. A big part of men’s Burden of Performance under the old social contract was his dedication to protecting a woman’s honor if he himself was to be respectable in the male form of respect.

Feminists will of course bleat that “In the past women were treated like property“.

Yet at some point along the way, even while a woman was a man’s ‘property’ (arguable) she was still held above the male form of respect and a female form of respect became her due. Even in the old Patriarchal Abrahamic religions wives and most in-group women were held in high regard and served as role model archetypes for female respectability. The only way to really lose this due-respect was to be a prostitute or an adulterous woman – both bad bets for men’s parental investment trade-offs and ensuring his own paternity in the long run. Being a nag was also something a respectable woman would avoid, but the operative here is that, default respect for women didn’t require anything like the male Burden of Performance.

Respect Your Elders – “Okay, Boomer,…”

One last point to note is that respect for one’s elders used to be included in this default form of respectability. This is no longer the case today, at least for men. My theory is that by virtue of being older the presumption was one of attained wisdom. Maturity implies mastery, or at least it used to. So, a default respect for one’s elders entered into religious canon. Honor thy father and mother, for instance, is a reflection of this default respect.

But in today’s gloablizing social media marketplace being old is a weakness and a liability unless what makes that man respectable is relatable to his prior performance. And even then respect is just a courtesy if it appears at all. Default socialized respect for women is generally a given in gynocentrism, but mature men are held to the performance burden of young men, because we have such access to seeing this performance difference in real time today.

There is a similar questioning of respect based on a position of authority for men. School teachers, martial arts instructors, policemen, civil authorities and military officials are examples of this diminishing respect. There is a saying that even if you don’t respect the man you should respect the office, but today this is no longer the case. Position no longer indicates respectability the way it used to under the old social contract.

Next week, I’ll be publishing part two of this series.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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Darryl
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This is super relevant to me today. I have been binge reading your love series and the articles/studies contained within. I was Raised in a Christian home but am non religious at the moment. Your writings, paired with the links have given me a lot of insight on the development of relationships and the bastardization of love – in my opinion. Thank you for taking time out to share this with us.

Fascinating
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The second definition of respect, the one you refer to as female respect is actually cherishing. That is what Hillary got wrong when she said women want to be respected. Most actually want to be cherished more than respected. Cherishing is like the respect a person gets for simply existing where respect is earned.

So more accurately – respect the masculine (whether man or woman once they’ve earned it) and cherish the feminine.

Maxwell Smart
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I believe one of the main motivators of the entire feminist movement is a desire of women to be valued or respected for their capabilities, rather than based how subjectively feminine they are. However time and again when women fail to perform as well as men do, be it in sports, business, or most other endeavors; they resort to disrespecting men. Women talk, men do; and when men do better women talk, or rather complain louder. It is amazing how often I point out a women’s poor performance in some area or another and they always resort to finding ONE… Read more »

Hmm
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I remember a line from an old Broadway song called “Happy to Keep His Dinner Warm”:

“Oh, to be loved
by a man I respect,
to bask in the glow
of his perfectly understandable neglect.”

Women used to think that some men, anyway, were worthy of respect (or hoped so, anyway)..

Mineter
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I would add “(a display of) deference” to the first definition of respect. Displays of deference or respect are never impolite. A woman will therefore readily conflate common courtesy or politeness as deference or respect. I suppose it then depends on the extent to which one would show common courtesy to a person one doesn’t respect or admire (particularly if that person is lower in social status than one).

Fact
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Married super model cucks 32 y/o beta bucks venture capitalist husband with 5 different 18 y/o teenagers.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7746311/Married-teacher-30-discovered-slept-FIVE-pupils-elite-South-African-school.html

Sharkly
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Society will never show men respect again, until we as men can show each other respect and model the behavior for the rest of society. Can we expect them to respect us if we refuse to respect “us”?

Sharkly’s first generality:
1. Men will never be respected by society while men refuse to respect each other.

Blaximus
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…. Or say shit like ” lower social status “.😑

Walawala
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One of the strongest concepts of game is instilling Dread. But too much dread creates instability with the woman constantly on edge to the point of being toxic. Too little dread is basically lack of any fear. The idea of respect has to be tied to the fear of loss. Recently counselling a friend who has serious oneitis for a married woman he’s banging. She plays tricks on him like sending fake messages that seem to be intended for someone else. I had to remind him and basically slap into him that she had a husband and now wanted a… Read more »

Mineter
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@Blax
What is it if a wealthy diner says thank you to the wait staff for serving them? Respect or common courtesy? If the former, then what achievements is the diner admiring? wink

Aaron Rolls
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I felt like you were really going to touch on something big there. But then came the confusing wall of words. I thought that you were going to get into how men see respect as oppose to how women see it. It would be good if you could touch on that.

Zoltan
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“God is love”. Rollo, this is just one more on the heap of things I am struggling with regards to my “christian faith”. I am very much looking forward to reading Alpha God and eventually your 4th book. Unconditional love is the main message of the new testament. Could it be that Christianity is really that feminized not just by “the village” and feminized church today but actually? Could the New testament be a watering down of the old Jahve Religion? I know you don’t disclose your personal faith. (It’s probably wise.) But I still wish I knew what you… Read more »

kfg
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“Could the New testament be a watering down of the old Jahve Religion?” In the old religion, Jahve, the builder of the world (the carpenter) was the son. Eloh/Allah/Abba (dialectal variants of the same word) was The Father who ordered the world to be built (the contractor). Jahveism was a cult of the greater religion. Addendum: You can see this shift in naming conventions. Micha-El/ Joho-shua. See also the Marcionite heresy which could not reconcile the Old Testament with the new. “Jesus is a liar? ” “God is love” comes from an epistle, not a gospel. They are the words… Read more »

Blaximus
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Hearsay after the fact your honor.

http://www.bbc.com/culture/story/20191114-how-vaginas-are-finally-losing-their-stigma
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Wow… how Feminism responds to Men who are “forcibly controlling a woman’s body”….
http://www.bbc.com/culture/story/20191114-how-vaginas-are-finally-losing-their-stigma

Blaximus
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This is why the kjv uses the word ” Lord ” and ” Ethiopian ( Greek ) ” to describe even those that weren’t technically from Ethiopia.

SJB
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My favorite Rodney “I don’t get no respect” Dangerfield lines: “I told my wife I wanted to get a home improvement loan. She gave me a thousand bucks and told me to leave.” Curia seems to be the basis for courtesy — very interesting considering Donovan’s The Way of Men, the way of the gang. That is, courtesy described intra-gang interaction especially when the gang assembled to determine policy or execute legal (religious) matters. Perhaps the devolution of courtesy to plain old good manners toward the weaker sex was hastened in the Victorian/Edwardian eras via a plethora of nannies: a… Read more »

kfg
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“This is why the kjv uses the word ” Lord ” . . .”

What is often more interesting than the translation of words in the Bible is the words that are, for some reason or other (and it is these reasons that make them interesting), not translated and so lose their actual meaning (obscuring the meaning often being part of the reasons):

English: Lord
Hebrew (a dead language in the time of Jesus used only for scripture, cognate to Latin today): Adonai
Aramaic (the language of the time of Jesus: Baal

marelius
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@KFG if Hebrew was a dead language at the time of Jesus, when did Hebrew get resurrected?

Jack
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I have written a number of essays on respect, such as this one. https://sigmaframe.wordpress.com/2018/10/06/tingles-respect/ “Respect is the proper display of appreciation for one who has power and authority. Therefore, a woman’s desire for a powerful, Tingle-inducing man, and “looking up” to that man, could easily be conflated with “having respect” for that man.” Above, Walawala commented that Dread Game is one way to elicit respect. He concluded, “The idea of respect has to be tied to the fear of loss.” Being threatened by a loss makes it clearly evident that a person has power over your life. But respect is cemented… Read more »

kfg
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” . . .when did Hebrew get resurrected?” As an officially recognized language, 1947, but its construction began in the 19th century Zionist movement. Note that Modern Hebrew is a construction. It takes Biblical Hebrew as its root, but is not Biblical Hebrew. It is a synthetic, not a resurrection. Nativist movements were “a thing” in 1890s – 1920s. Hebrew isn’t the only language that synthesized a new version out of what survived of ancient roots. UK Keltic languages are notable others. “Traditional” ethnic traits were often synthesized at the same time. Aran sweaters, Irish kilts, Japanese kimono as we… Read more »

Blaximus
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Eliciting fear and threats of loss, if uncalibrated, can result in murder. remember a cardinal rule of Game ( in it’s original incarnation) that ” fear ” is not always the same as ” respect “. A wise man doesn’t want to be feared as it might just be his undoing.

wahoo Mcdaniels
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“what achievements is the diner admiring? wink”

The “wealthy” diner could admire the servers ability to provide service to others while making an honest living.

Blaximus
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A man’s ” station ” in life from observations is in no way an indication of whether he deserves respect. Wealth doesn’t way anything about a man other than he’s collected vast sums of fiat currency. Bernie Madoff comes to mind. It depends on what one’s value system is. The idea that basic strangers are ” beneath ” due to some kind of social status is a bastardization of the idea of respect. ” Power” is subjective always. The exercising of power over another requires the other’s cooperation. You can cooperate to varying degrees minus fear. No man should ever… Read more »

Johann Liebert
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Relationship take a lot of work

The worst thing about words is : one can say anything.

kfg
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“The idea that basic strangers are ” beneath ” due to some kind of social status is a bastardization of the idea of respect.” It’s a fuedal concept, one which was explicitly rejected by republicanism. “Mister” is the lowest title of the gentry and the “suit” the lowest form of dress of the gentry. Under republican egalitarianism (“egalitarian” simply meaning that social status isn’t something that you inherit from your family) everybody gets to be a Mister and wear a suit, but nobody gets to be any higher. The dirt farmer working his acre and the CEO of an agricultural… Read more »

Aaron Rolls
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The Bible is not feminized, but sometimes our interpretation is. Check out 1 John 5:3 for instance: “ For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.” If you apply a feminized version of love to the Bible, of course it will seem to be feminized. The main message of the Bible is obedience to the one true authority, God. As 1 John 5:3 says, if we don’t obey, we don’t love him. In the New Testament, Jesus did not come to change things, but rather to finish what was already… Read more »

Rudolph
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Something that comes to mind in this is from somewhere in the Game of Thrones books. Sansa Stark is going to some party while prisoner in King’s Landing and she recalled a teaching of I think Old Nan, who would be essentially a governess or nanny of some sort. The teaching was, “Courtesy is a lady’s armor.” Of late I’ve tended to think of that with, “Chivalry isn’t dead. It just followed along to wherever being ladylike went.” I think one of the confusions all the way around with this stuff is that we’ve more or less obliterated the idea… Read more »

marelius
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@Jack – “Respect is the proper display of appreciation for one who has power and authority. Therefore, a woman’s desire for a powerful, Tingle-inducing man, and “looking up” to that man, could easily be conflated with “having respect” for that man.” I call Bullsh!t Many with Power and Authority (some say all, eventually, as it is our basic human nature) are absolute bastards and deserve NO respect! Fear, yes; a wide berth, maybe; a comeuppance (lesson in respect) from a more powerful force, perhaps; but not respect. What you are describing is FEAR. The resulting emotion we feel when someone… Read more »

wahoo Mcdaniels
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Christ love wasn’t unconditional. cip Luke 18;22, Matthew 19:21,
Mark 11:12-26

Pinelero
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“Women just are, is the premise here. Female respectability is never merit based, though it can be lost if a woman is convinced that she “has no respect for herself” or if someone casts that woman as self-loathing, but this is only effective when it comes from other women. In a feminine-primary social order men can never challenge a woman’s respectability without the risk of incurring some social backlash or damage to his own performance-based respectability. And labels of sexist, misogynist and chauvinist await any man who would challenge the default respect that is due to women.” Women have intrinsic… Read more »

Pinelero
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@Maxwell Smart
Perhaps the greatest moments in my red-pill awakening was un-learning my default feminized respect for women. By holding women to the same burden of performance I and other men are expected to carry, their true nature becomes obvious to behold, and respect given only to the very few women who deserve it.
Respect can also be a form of deference to those on the pedestal, like a military salute of a junior to senior, so to topple the qwueen from her pedestal is to lose the feminized social conditioning.

Blaximus
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I find the entire concept of ” must conform ” or pressure to do so absolutely fascinating.

I’d expect women to be more influenced by conformity, but ime men appear to be almost equally driven by the desire to conform.

Lol, fuck that shit. Do what you want to do ( disclaimer: after you get your mind right that is ).

Seems awfully stressful.

fleezer
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“Women talk, men do” yes i have greatly benefitted from women’s talk. their tendency to draw out interactions because for them the talking and body language and other comms are more important than what’s being said means their mistaken modern desire to perform and earn man type “respect” from men can be easily exploited by a man knowing how to ask the right questions they give up information as though it had no value because for them gossip has value and they trade in it but they give up trade secrets because they didn’t do any of the work to… Read more »

kfg
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Just Beers
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Weird reading some of these responses. No one deserves respect for existing. For the sake of maintaining a civil society, it’s of course important to be civil. Respecting the rule of law (to the degree that it reflects the values of the society represented and protected) is different than respecting someone as a distinct individual. I’ve surrounded myself with men worthy of my respect, and I’m pleased to be able to share their collective energy with my son. In my experience, most modern women are not deserving of respect, and are volatile and unmoored. I protect my son from most… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
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Rudolph
Game of Thrones books.

Not the best source of information for interpersonal relationships. IMO.

Anonymous Reader
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@Rollo: timely essay. The advert for the Peloton stationary bike has caused a ruckus not just in feminist / SW / hipster circles, but even cuckservatives are concerned about the woman (actress) in the advert and want to send the cops to do a health & welfare check. The stock got hammered two days in a row. The NYT had an article. The company has explained “No, we didn’t mean the advert that way!” which just puts their name out more – good avertising. Why all the fussing? Because an actress plays the role of a woman who wants to… Read more »

Rudolph
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Anonymous Reader Rudolph Game of Thrones books. Not the best source of information for interpersonal relationships. IMO. Well the idea is still something Rollo touched on in the essay. What gets left out of the modern notion of chivalry is the obligation for women to be ladies. Even in the female version of respect, the second definition which I think many would prefer to refer to as “civility” has to be on some level earned. Even as a man if you want to be treated with civility you must behave with civility. Both definitions of “Respect” must be earned. “Civility”… Read more »

Rudolph
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Something I’d like to touch on with regards “obedience” and probably “deference” as well are the enlightenment or egalitarian ideals at the foundation of America at any rate. Someone mentioned “rank.” In our American Republican/Democratic/Enlightenment ideals you are not entitled to “respect.” In this context I mean what we would think of more on the lines of obedience and deference because of your birth. You aren’t in charge because your father is in charge or was in charge. This is that “status” thing again. I think also we might consider this as entitlement to “power.” In the American concept we… Read more »

Pinelero
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My interpretation of the female intrinsic “respect” is due to men putting pussy on the pedestal. It’s not a real respect like a man to man, but part of the dancing monkey routine men do for our human mating rituals. It’s funny because my wife said if we had a son she would teach him to respect women. I laughed at her and told her I would tell him everything you said should be taken with a grain of salt. Female respect is part of the Beta conditioning to get him ready for the mating game. Loading...

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Respect is the means by which a woman communicates her love to her man. In the bible, it clearly says that the husband is the head of the woman. Even though both are equally human, there is still a hierarchical arrangement. I’ve often wondered why Ephesians 5:22-33 says for husbands to “love” and wives to “respect”. Why not command both parties to love and respect equally? Since the apostle Paul is talking about marriages, this would seem like a good time to interject that. One would think that love and respect should be primary concerns for both parties in the… Read more »

Pinelero
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@Peter. Hypergamy will answer that question for you about who respector or respectee. Look at India, those cucks have the highest rate of female on male domestic violence, because a woman will not default respect a man her hypergamy views as lessor. The respectee has to meet the burden of performance for the respector. If you don’t meet the respectors hypergamous demands, then you’ll be labelled a Peter-pan or worse. If you have self-respect and yourself as a mental point of origin then you won’t give a damn what any respectee labels you as.

redpillrabbi
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Rollo wrote: Even in the old Patriarchal Abrahamic religions wives and most in-group women were held in high regard and served as role model archetypes for female respectability. Yes. And Abraham and Isaac did not let their heirs marry from the local idolater women, the thots of the ancient time. I just wrote a post about poly mostly but also how respecting our ancestors still matters: https://redpillrabbi.home.blog/2019/12/03/kosher-polygamy/ Excerpt: We Jews are still teaching our young girls how our Patriarchs and Matriarchs, who practiced patriarchy and polygyny, are shining examples of spiritual greatness to emulate. I’ll speculate that providing these positive… Read more »

theasdgamer
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@liz

Have you heard about Lisa Page’s text to Strzok about “oconus lures”?

redpillrabbi
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@kfg. “In the old religion,”

That’s not Judaism you’re talking!
Some falsely assume that the Bible is referring to two different entities when it uses the J name and E names. That would be the equivalent to the English words Eternal and Almighty. Would it be reasonable that Eternal and Almighty is referring to two different things, when the text you are reading states there is only one God, no others, and also uses the names Eternal Almighty together…?

kfg
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“That’s not Judaism you’re talking!” That’s right. It’s religion of Judea. “Some falsely assume that the Bible is referring to . . .” The Bible is not the source of the Bible. I do not restrict my reading of scripture to the Bible, nor my studies to written sources. Although I have ancestors from at least two of them and wouldn’t be the least surprised to find the third, I am not Jewish, Christian or Muslim and never have been. I owe no obeisance to any of their dogmas and do not waste time defending them. I will note, however,… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
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@Rudolph George R. R. Martin is extremely blue pill. Looking at his bio I see he was married for about 4 years in the 1970’s, divorced, remarried in 2011. I doubt he was spinning plates in the intervening years. An author’s worldview generally will effect the characters he writes in fiction. A Blue Pill author who has a tendency to tip his fedora to the pedestal will write what kind of characters? Fiction isn’t generally a good source of truth about women, although Jane Austen was something of an exception. Maybe you should re-read Rollo’s original essay and also click… Read more »

Blaximus
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Rudolph “Someone mentioned “rank.” In our American Republican/Democratic/Enlightenment ideals you are not entitled to “respect.” In this context I mean what we would think of more on the lines of obedience and deference because of your birth. You aren’t in charge because your father is in charge or was in charge. This is that “status” thing again. I think also we might consider this as entitlement to “power.” In the American concept we are all the same “rank.” This makes us all entitled to some level of civility as long as we conduct ourselves as being deserving of civility. But… Read more »

Olongapo
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My measure of “respect” for men these days has changed significantly as I age. The questions I ask now are: Is he honest? Is he trustworthy? Has he added value to the world? Is he someone I would follow up a hill? (combat vets will get this). For women the measures are similar but not the same: Is she honest? Does she take care of her appearance and health? Is she feminine? Etc. My last two marriages (a total of 34 years) imploded and had commonalities that are probably not coincidental. The biggest was the overt disrespect and contempt shown… Read more »

Blaximus
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” personally demonstrate “respectful” behaviors as my initial default as a matter of just having good matters. I don’t demand respect from anyone but if I’m treated poorly by someone, they usually never see or hear from me again. Age has tempered my response and I offer advice only if asked. My acts and achievements usually speak for themselves and if men, or women, won’t acknowledge this, then I minimize interactions. Pretty old school but I also know that most of the world simply doesn’t care. I do know one thing however, I always have the power to walk away… Read more »

rugby11
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religion and morality
https://www.kirkdurston.com/blog/unwin

Tam the Bam
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Tam the Bam
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What’s that massive subcut. edema/bruise on the ostensibly female wrist (RHS) from?
I hope from an overenthusiastic “push-ups” session.
Not drugs, disease, age or violence, I trust.
Maybe going arse-over-tip on the Peloton exercise bike, or snowboard?

EhIntellect
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“Each sex arrives at this understanding as a result of their experience as a man or a woman, and then molded by outside influences and innate idealism.” Experience as a man or woman has nichts zu tun with our greater understanding. As described above man is a prisoner to his world. It happens and is benighted thinking (and by no means inexorable, btw). Therein both sexes practice utilitarian love against each other. It’s not love in that there’s universality and permanence. It lasts as long as the usefulness remains and routinely ends ugly. That’s not valuable love. That’s RP tortured… Read more »

SJF
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“My last two marriages (a total of 34 years) imploded and had commonalities that are probably not coincidental.” What is the story there? What the hell happened? ” personally demonstrate “respectful” behaviors as my initial default as a matter of just having good matters. I don’t demand respect from anyone but if I’m treated poorly by someone, they usually never see or hear from me again. Age has tempered my response and I offer advice only if asked. My acts and achievements usually speak for themselves and if men, or women, won’t acknowledge this, then I minimize interactions. Pretty old… Read more »

John O.
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Respect – It depends on whether you’re listening to Otis Redding’s original (he wrote it), or Aretha Franklin’s cover.

SJF
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I love LTR game.

It’s sweet.

It’s does involve having a bit of tenure.

You can relax and not be perfect at times. Not stupid lazy. When healthy, allowing great, great adventure.

Hey, tenure:

The benefit of tenure to the institution follows from the benefit to the individual: From the faculty member’s perspective, tenure makes it possible to pursue high-risk/high-impact research ideas without having to worry about having to keep short-term bean-counters happy.

Anonymous Reader
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Tam ye Bam
What’s that massive subcut. edema/bruise on the ostensibly female wrist (RHS) from?

Huh? Looks like just a lighting artifact to me.
Or maybe the wrist restraints were a bit too tight the previous night?

SJF
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“Huh? Looks like just a lighting artifact to me.”

Right.

Nothing looks funny there. She’s newly converted and she just got the tattoo. With slight erythema around the ink. Here wrist veins are abnormally blue. Because of here pale effeminate skin.

Nothing abnormal.

Except the sentiment. Of the tat. Does she really respect him. Or just wanted a cool tattoo?

Yes. It is her normal and it is just lighting.

But what do I know about skin?

And it, the comment, is besides the point. It’s the written tattoos that are illustrative as a header comment for the essay. Hey let’s be permanent about our feelings here…

John O.
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It all begins with respecting oneself.

That should guide a man as to what is respectable in others, your fellow man, or a target female.

This self-respect should also send out a signal as to how you expect to be treated.

Lost Patrol
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Competence, physical prowess, creative intelligence, dominance, social proof and preselection are the metric by which we rate a man’s respectability.

How to imagine none of that in effect? Breeze through this article and contemplate respect as it pertains in Rollo’s essay.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7759411/Polyamorous-woman-20-fallen-pregnant-one-FOUR-partners-went-away-together.html

So many TRM themes in play it’s hard to count them all.

How does that song go? “It’s the end of the world as we know it. (And I feel fine)”.

trackback

[…] A new article from Rollo on respect. […]

Rudolph
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But about the obedience thing – Men that are deferential and obedient to other men that aren’t related to them aren’t really ” men “. Dogs and ( if you’re skillful enough ) women and children are ” obedient ” up to a particular point. ” Power ” loves the concept you’ve laid out – ” But we also have the right to attempt earning status and the higher levels of respect that come with the obedience and deference of other men”. Yes, this is the grease for the wheels. Playing the game with the assumption that one day you… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
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I have no idea how to say “Hypergamy” in Japanese, but reading the word in this article makes me smile.

https://news.yahoo.com/parasite-singles-why-young-japanese-arent-getting-married-031514178.html

Shigeki Matsuda, a sociology professor at Chukyo University in central Japan, blames the country’s falling marriage rate on a phenomenon known as “hypergamy”.

“Japanese women tend to seek men with stable employment and education levels” higher than them, he explained.

Anecdotal evidence from the match-making party seemed to bear this out, a small queue of women forming to exchange contact details with one of the men who, it emerged, had the highest income of the group.

Next task: teach a journalist what “preselection” means.

kfg
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“I have no idea how to say “Hypergamy” in Japanese . . .” With a pinched Boston accent. It’s one of those jargon words that they lift rather than translate and all the sounds happen to be standard Japanese syllables except for the “r.” Hi-PAAH-gah-me If I’ve got it right the translation would be pronounced something like Cho-ko-EEEN, but my Japanese may not be quite up to the level of a two year old, combining forms are not intuitive and the prefix is actually a Chinese loan. Within the idioms of the culture however, I think it would be expressed… Read more »

Sentient
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Blax/ Rudolph

” true power is never given, it is taken. Always. ”

Jack
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Jack
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I’d argue respect for women, in the old contract sense, and in victorian eras or similar, was less a respect for women and more of an extended respect for the man presiding over the woman in question. You wouldn’t screw with the man who’s favor you’re trying to win, after all. However, respect for women in the old contract sense of god or marriage is probably more to do with a woman giving up her base primal instincts, along with the man, to forge something greater. So she was worthy of respect for remaining faithful, taking care of children properly,… Read more »

Blaximus
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…. love that clip.

Fact
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O.B.I.T.
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O.B.I.T.
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Immediately thought of Rational Male (not to mention Scott Alexander) when I saw this — Even the comics page is now venturing into poly …

https://dilbert.com/

Blaximus
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Lol, ” poly” seems to be fat and/or ugly chicks taking advantage of the male weakness permeating the atmosphere. Instead of cats, they collect a bevy of dumb fucks…literally.

I can’t hate on that game. Bitches have a collection of living dildos.

liz
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Have you heard about Lisa Page’s text to Strzok about “oconus lures”?

Hey Gamer. Yep.
Interesting times.

Anonymous Reader
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@Blax, Lost, etc.

That poly setup ? That’s how real the Beta thirst is. It’s that real.

Yeah, the world isn’t the same as it was when anyone here was 20 (except for 20-something lurkers). Sure, that 5-some is unstable and is gonna break up and someone’s gonna be left with the fat, rather homely broad.

Maybe. Or maybe not. I know of more than one family where the pregger daughter moves back with the parents. Some single mothers are schoolteachers. Some are full time retail.

Anyway….Beta thirst? There it is.

Anonymous Reader
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Judge in Kentucky is accused of sexual misbehavior including 3-ways in the courthouse, trying to convince another woman to have an affair with the Judge’s husband to make divorce easier, and a few more things.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7763841/Female-judge-Kentucky-accused-using-court-frat-house-threesomes-drinking.html

Best part? She is a family court judge…

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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AR my comments have been getting lost recently. I had a long ass response to you, and it vanished ( I ain’t trying to retype all that shit now…lol). Short version – I don’t see all of the stuff that’s supposedly everywhere. I know more 15-30 year olds than people my own age. lol, that has no context at all. I posted these as well. All of this garbage on the net isn’t representative of reality at the end of the day. I know no ” poly ” people, nor does anyone I know. I only see it on the… Read more »

Blaximus
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Scott
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I like what you have done here with the two “types” of respect. The two actually internally contradict each other and one place I noticed this was in the army. When I first joined, in 2000 the training mnemonic used in basic and AIT was “the army values.” For reference: Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless service, Honor, Integrity and Personal Courage. (LDRSHIP) Occasionally,the drill sergeants would gather everyone in the platoon into a semi-circle and yell “alright, who wants to give the definition of respect?” (Or some other of the seven values) Invariably, someone would stand up at parade rest “Drill… Read more »

wahoo Mcdaniels
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Blax, Great video. Isn’t the speaker himself a millennial? The part I don’t agree with is where he claims the millennial problem is low self esteem. I believe the millennial problem is their self esteem is too high and baseless, this in turn causes a lack of self respect, as the evaluation of self in high esteem doesn’t line up with reality. We can cope and overcome the odds better when we can accept our own limitations through a realistic lens. This is what after action review is good for. Participation trophies on the other hand boost esteem not respect.… Read more »

John O.
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In short,

Admiration = Upward glance

Respect = Eye-level glance

Contempt = Eye-roll

wahoo Mcdaniels
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Respectable, is descriptive of one that is able to respect the laws and rules set up by society, this is also a person we are able to respect. Women are off the rails,off the chain and out of line in the modern femcentric social disorder, as a result they are demanding respect for disrespecting the previous social order. This long standing set of rules evolved to protect the very women that have been fooled into rejecting them. Over the last 50+ years women on average have become less respectable and the result has been that men living by the old… Read more »

EhIntellect
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“Book 4 is about squaring Red Pill praxeology (deal with it) with religion”

Translation: I’m spiritually adrift.

RP and religion (codification of how not to blow yourself up) would square themselves kinda evo-bio-like…well…naturally like a cock in pussy.

Hm.

ProTip: They don’t. They need forcefitting by thos self-styled dot-connector.

And I’m on your sides….can you imagine that????!!!!

Pinelero
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“Lol, ” poly” seems to be fat and/or ugly chicks taking advantage of the male weakness permeating the atmosphere. Instead of cats, they collect a bevy of dumb fucks…literally.

I can’t hate on that game. Bitches have a collection of living dildos.”

OMG I was laughing so hard my wife came running over to see what was so funny. Told her she wouldn’t get it, so she shit-tested me, which made me laugh even more.

Blaximus
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I do not ” respect ” the rule of law, because laws are made by men, and laws aren’t always respectable.

I obey ( most ) laws because of the penalties associated with non compliance. I think that’s still ” respectable ” because it’s a choice. I never cosign men believing they have no choices.

Out.

Johann Liebert
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Yes, Gorillas are religious too From a textbook found in university library “Handbook of Neurosociology”; (Amazon Link: “https://www.amazon.com/Handbook-Neurosociology-Handbooks-Sociology-Research-ebook/dp/B00A9YGRJ0/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=handbook+of+neurosociology&qid=1575789574&s=books&sr=1-1) …lead-silverback gorilla male harems of females can perhaps been seen as an exception, although these harems are more appearance than reality because females sneak off to have sexual relations with other males and use the silverback as a babysitter, and moreover, the tie is broken once females no longer have offspring; brothers among chimpanzees sometimes form moderate-to-strong bonds or even friendships with non-kin males. Otherwise, great ape societies do not form cohesive groups because Sexual relations among males and females are promiscuous,… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
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Blaximus my comments have been getting lost recently. I had a long ass response to you, and it vanished ( I ain’t trying to retype all that shit now…lol). Maybe for the best. If you’re not on a phone, you can type in a text editor then copypasta, y’know. Short version – I don’t see all of the stuff that’s supposedly everywhere. I know more 15-30 year olds than people my own age. Ok. You don’t see Beta thirst anywhere around you? Interesting. I can hear it in the voices of men under 30 in the coffee shops, see it… Read more »

Johann Liebert
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Speaking about religion: Your Christianity was born with the adultery committed by Mary Jane. During Mary’s time, men were mostly red-pilled (knowledge only). They never would allow children born out of wedlock. That was the peak of beta red pill society which lasted for more than 1500 years. So, Mary took the other way. She turned to psychpathy, told beta red-pilled males that the child was fathered by God ! The lies only increased during her and her son’s lifetime, ultimately ended with outrageous Jesus being killed. Then, other cluster-B patients (namely John, Matthew etc) started to re-interpret what happened… Read more »

John O.
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@Johann Liebert –

With your comments on religion in general and Christianity in particular, you’re force feeding us not merely a red pill, but an entire barium meal.

Quotes – “Christianity was born with the adultery committed by Mary Jane.”
“Religion is a creation of cluster-B Identity disorder.”

In other words, gentlemen, Herr Liebert has described the immaculate conception as a cluster-fuck.

I must remember to attend midnight mass this Christmas.

kfg
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” . . . Christianity was born with the adultery committed by Mary . . .”

Theologically it was a miracle.
Historically it didn’t happen.

Your thesis has some issues.

Johann Liebert
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@kung fu girl I don’t need to research christianity to understand the true story. I’m not a christian. If it was completely made-up, then my story starts from Buffalos John, Matthew etc. And it’s not only for christianity, other religions are exactly the same. Just like the Joker was never ever a single individual, but a class of people; religion targets the Cluster-B Identity Disorder patients; seeking a revolution. From Wikipedia: Fully a quarter of black men who got married in 2013 married someone who was not black. Only 12% of black women married outside of their race. For Asians,… Read more »

Johann Liebert
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@John O Sleep

With your comments on religion in general and Christianity in particular, you’re force feeding us not merely a red pill, but an entire barium meal.

Call it Radium Pill. Truth hurts? Don’t worry, it’ll hurt for just a while.

wahoo Mcdaniels
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Johann Liebert

May the LORD bless you and keep you;
May the LORD make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;
May the LORD lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.

AMEN

Johann Liebert
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wahoo

Gay as fuck

theasdgamer
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What have we here?

theasdgamer
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Okay Johan, if you think like that, at the end you’ll see nothing but nihilism. Everyone has weaknesses but that doesn’t mean you’ll find fault with them. What you’re doing is dangerous, even in a western society. Wouldn’t it be much better to leave people for who they are; if you don’t like something, stay quiet don’t engage. Easy? If you don’t like this blog, guess what? You can go for some other blog that suits you, but don’t be so much negative, anywhere at this level, you’re gonna get yourself killed. If you’re an atheist, browse some blog that… Read more »

Yollo Comanche
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@asd To be fair, if you did have a son, your life would probably be very different. I have met women who are nothing less than Feminists. They all have daughters, no sons. Or if they have sons they have one son and it’s clear that the girls don’t plan to help him do a damn thing to make himself into anything better than a hired hand, or else they just keep their distance. My own sister has ****** children. All girls. With the book that liz and IAS showed me, and how belligerently women deny that Feminism is a… Read more »

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