Just Get It

I don’t usually cite Athol Kay on Rational Male, but I have to give him props for his recent How Walkaway Wives Run a Dirty MAP. There’s a lot going on in this post, and as per usual Athol approaches all of his observations from a married perspective constrained by a limited single-life experience, but a few fundamental points of Game really shine here. To be sure, relationship Game (or married Game) varies widely in application compared to the Game used in single-man-sex-life, but the foundational principles are essentially the same – as are the pitfalls – only the risks are higher and the rewards negligible by comparison.

I’ve stated this before, but, having experienced the ups and downs of single-man-sex-life as well as married-man-sex-life, I can honestly say that I’ve never found Game more necessary than when it’s within the context of marriage. I’ve also written volumes about the all-risk proposition of marriage for men, and women’s utter inability to appreciate the all-risk sacrifices men assume in committing to marriage. So it should be obvious that under such conditions if a man chooses to entertain a lifestyle of marriage the only acceptable condition is that it be within his frame and his terms. And this, gentlemen, requires not only a commitment to Game itself, but an understanding of, and an internalization of a much tighter Game than would be necessary in single-man-sex-life.

Higher risks mean less margin for error

In your single-man-sex-life Game, you have the leisure to Spin Plates, drop the ones which don’t produce dividends, and non-exclusively enjoy the ones who do. Though it may pain you to lose a particular girl as the result of fumbled Game, or to miss the opportunity of experiencing a woman due to a failed approach or consolidation, it pales in comparison to the risks inherent in lacking the long-term Game necessary to contend with women’s hypergamy in the context of marriage. Dumping a girl (or getting dumped) when single may be an emotional ordeal for some guys, but the decay of a marriage and the financial, familial and emotional consequences for lacking Game in marriage is a punishment that will make a single man’s break up tears seem like a blessing. Tight relationship Game means much more than just getting your wife to fuck you more regularly after the honeymoon.

A lot of men will respond that marriage is just not worth all that contextualization of Game, and they’d be right. It’s all risk with negligible reward / appreciation and the liabilities are too steep. Furthermore, there’s a contingent of men who’ll say that it’s impossible to perpetuate the solid Game necessary to assuage female hypergamy indefinitely, and they’d be right too, if Game was a constant act for them that they felt they had to keep up forever. Some guys get mad at just the suggestion that they’d need to Game their potential wives. “She should just love me for who I am!” They expect to be able to drop the Game, relax and be who they are, only to have their wives progressively convert them into an imagined ideal which really isn’t the guy who tingles their vaginas. Then they find out that their wives loved them for who they were.


One of the points that jumped out at me from Athol’s post:

When the lines of communication are broken between you and your wife, you aren’t going to get a message that the lines of communication are broken. That’s what the lines of communication being broken means. When she checks out of the marriage, she doesn’t tell you because she checked out of the marriage. That’s what being checked out of the marriage means.

I usually have to control my laughter whenever I overhear an AFC in the crab barrel parrot back the Matrix-speak about how “good relationships are all about communication with your GF/wife.” When this is coming from a single guy I can at least partially excuse him for lack of any practicable experience, but when it comes from a married Plug-In it’s just evidence of the totality of his conditioning. Most guys who tell you this are repeating what their girl-friends always told them was the most important key to a good relationship, but as with everything femme there’s always a latent purpose underneath the veneer of aphoristic truth they sell themselves.

A few months back I was at a liquor event with my usual ‘pour girls’ and during our conversations one tells me about her ‘guy problems’ with a “clingy boyfriend” obviously on the down end of an SMV imbalance.

“It’s so frustrating Rollo, why can’t guy’s just get it?”

With a practiced, but cute, little wrinkle of her nose, and the huff of her $5K tits, my girl had just indirectly revealed one of the most vexing complexities of intergender communication – women want men to “just get it.”

Just Get It

From Female Dating Advice:

The guy with the capacity to call a woman’s bluff with a confidence that implies she is to be worthy of him rather than the other way around is the Man to be competed for. Essentially the ‘chick speak’, ‘chick advice’ phenomenon is a shit test writ large on a social scale. And even your own mother and sisters are in on it, expecting you to ‘get it’; to get the message and see the challenge for what it really is, without overtly telling you.

She want’s you to ‘get it’ on your own, without having to be told how. That initiative and the experience needed to have had developed it makes you a Man worth competing for. Women despise a man who needs to be told to be dominant. Overtly relating this to a guy entirely defeats his credibility as a genuinely dominant male. The guy she wants to fuck is dominant because that’s ‘the way he is’ instead of who she had to tell him to be.

Observing the process will change it. This is the root function of every shit test ever devised by a woman. If masculinity has to be explained to a man, he’s not the man for her.

In my Pour Girl’s example we see this ‘get it’ paradox from the single-man-sex-life perspective, and in Athol’s scenario we see it from the married-man (or LTR) -sex-life perspective. Many men will complain that they hate the presumption that they need to be a mind reader and ideally women ought to just communicate overtly and directly – just as a reason-based man would communicate. The problem is that in doing so it changes the dynamic for hypergamy. As I’ve stated so often, women say they want the truth, but they never want full disclosure. Hypergamy will not be pandered to, and will not be negotiated with.

This is why the “communication is everything” meme has been responsible for the demise of more relationships than anyone will ever admit. It’s not that you communicate, it’s what you’re communicating and how you communicate it. I’ve counseled more men than I care to recount who’ve sobbed from the depths of their souls, “IF SHE’D JUST TELL ME WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO MAKE HER LOVE ME I’D DO IT!” not realizing that their very verbalization of that and a belief in open, rational communication is the very thing that’s killing (or killed) their woman’s desire for him.

As I’ve written a thousand times, a cardinal truth of the universe is that genuine desire cannot be negotiated. The moment you tell your wife, your girlfriend, that you will exchange a behavior or attitude or belief or any other compromise for her desire you fundamentally change her organic desire into obligation. What she wants, what her hypergamy wants confirmation of, can never be explicated, it can only be demonstrated. If her desire is for you to be more dominant, her telling you to be so negates the genuineness and the validity of your becoming so. Again, observing a process will change it – on a limbic level of consciousness her innate hypergamy is aware of that truth.

She wants a man who knows he needs to be dominant with her, that is the confirmation of hypergamy.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

178 comments on “Just Get It

  1. If I understood, the point is to demonstrate dominance through actions. Saying “I am dominant.” is not the right thing. Like, going NC without saying: “Hey, I’m going no contact for x months.”?

  2. Yes, Yes, Yes.

    If a woman has to tell you she wants you to be Dominant, and you do it, you are STILL DOING WHAT YOU ARE TOLD.

    Women are usually too dense to be able to elucidate what they really want anyway, and are reluctant to do so too, knowing that what they want is subject to change at all times.

    They want you to GET IT

    We must also carry this over to other parts of how we function with them. They want to know that you have discretion to keep something on the DL. They want to know that you aren’t going to turn weird or creepy, because you GET IT.

    The more you demonstrate to a prospective girl that you “get it”, the more likely she will be open to intimacy, because she knows you aren’t going to be a fucking idiot about everything.

    I think a part of “getting it” is being cynical as all hell.

    When you are cynical, you do not travel to unicorn land. You don’t ask her “what are you thinking” because you know that you DEFINITELY do NOT want to know that information. You allow her to offer up statements when she wishes, and never pry them out of her. The prying will only introduce lies anyway. A cynical man also knows that lies are a fundamental part of a relationship, as is mystery. The wise man doesn’t go around dousing the mysteries, pissing all over them with his insecurity.

    The man who gets it knows that he must not lay all his cards on the table, because the women like to guess instead. It stimulates them.

    Just basic stuff. A man who is not afraid. A man who is powerful enough to never flail about over a damn girl. A man who knows when to laugh at other people’s bullshit and never get sucked into petty attitudes, from others or from her, either.

    He never backpedals. He never shoots off his fucking mouth. He is far more stoic than emotional in his outward demeanor. He is the man who would kill people in the zombie apocalypse without one shred of remorse or emotional uncertainty.

    He is the man who doesn’t ask awkward dumbshit questions because he knows the answer, and he knows those are awkward, dumbshit questions. He also knows that he does not always need the answers, or to look for them instead of pleading for them.

    Just get it. Act like you know what the fuck you are doing.

  3. Ouch! After a blow out fight with my wife a couple of years ago, she actually tearfully screamed at me that she wants to be dominated! This was pre-red pill me. I couldn’t believe it at the time as it seemed to go so against the dynamic we were in for years, i.e., AFC operating out of her frame. I’ve learned a lot and made a lot of changes since discovering the manosphere, but this article made me cringe with the memory of how hard I’d fallen. I’ve got to concur that game is so important in marriage!

  4. @Samuel Solomon

    “Just basic stuff. A man who is not afraid. A man who is powerful enough to never flail about over a damn girl. A man who knows when to laugh at other people’s bullshit and never get sucked into petty attitudes, from others or from her, either.

    He never backpedals. He never shoots off his fucking mouth. He is far more stoic than emotional in his outward demeanor. He is the man who would kill people in the zombie apocalypse without one shred of remorse or emotional uncertainty.

    He is the man who doesn’t ask awkward dumbshit questions because he knows the answer, and he knows those are awkward, dumbshit questions. He also knows that he does not always need the answers, or to look for them instead of pleading for them.”

    I agree. I am working on cultivating this in myself and being an example to my sons. It’s already there in a lot of ways but just buried like a second language that I haven’t used in years.

    I try to remember role models like my grandfather, my father-in-law, and some of my uncles who had a quiet strong confidence.

  5. While game is definitely needed to keep a marriage from its natural course of collapse, in most circumstances it is clear the bounty in terms of sex is on the side of being single.

    Really, sex from girls is there reward to lure you in, once you put the yoke on, they no longer need to ‘reward’ you.

  6. Great post. I also enjoy the MMSL blog for its perspective. Anyway at some point a switch flipped in my mind. I stopped trying to “figure out” women a long time ago. As long as I keep running my program I’m fine. She is always going to run her program, so I run mine. One works for man, one works for woman. When they run together you’ve got yourself a damn good thing.

  7. Sigh. So much effort spent on these wombmen. I was reading pre-WWII history last night and it was fascinating to see what a world run by men looked like. A world where all of this sex-related stuff was properly compartmentalized and regulated and all of our life’s energies put to more interesting use. There was none of this stuff like “gaming” your wife, grown men trying so hard to please bratty women, etc., since women were under control in those days. I seriously feel like we’ve entered the god damn twilight zone here with what women are becoming, especially in the last decade.. it’s that surreal sometimes.

  8. ‘good communication’ is such an obscure term…
    There are layers to communication, and it’s not all about words – by definition it’s about signals. Actions speak, decisions speak, gestures speak… Sometimes there’s worth in silence in communication, as well as extending the means to different channels.

    The girlfriends who wield communication may not necessarily mean that, but it’s just a theoretical clarification as well as something I believe in.

    As well as the role of consciousness and logic in communication. ‘Effective’ communication (verbal or non-verbal) in relation to partners will take into consideration the best position from which it should be delivered – ex. in the long-run speaking like a dominant figure in the relationship will pay off in the quality of it, and the ability to remain happy with a high-SMV partner, even if it means not succumbing to emotional pressure and verbal distraction.
    The Game is a tool, just like many others, with which to achieve this.


    On a completely different note:
    Looking at the manosphere I keep thinking… There’s a very ‘push-y’ streak to the aspect of the Game you’re focusing on. I wish to stumble upon a blog where the ‘pull-y’ aspect to the Game is explored more.
    Beta is too pull-y, and pull-y in a way that is far from dominant/alpha. I think Alpha males with their Game in stride know there’s a lot to be won by learning how to form respect, understanding and partnership between the moments they need to be on their toes and play a few rounds of push.
    I mean, at the end of the day wouldn’t it feel nice to know how to support the woman you know when she’s at the to of her game, accomplishing something you respect her for? Knowing not only when not to take on shit-tests, but how to go about making good ‘us’ decisions? or simply when is it okay to give her a foot-massage ;)?

    Anyway – enjoying the push-y streak very much, can’t wait for new posts.

  9. “If a woman has to tell you she wants you to be Dominant, and you do it, you are STILL DOING WHAT YOU ARE TOLD.”

    There is so much sense in this sentence that it hurts. Hell, this entire post should be enshrined in the Manosphere Hall of Fame.


    Just reading this sentence makes me cringe. A man who is under a woman’s control breeds contempt and she will be incapable of respecting him.

  11. The girl’s original question was never actually answered, though. She may or may not have any conscious idea of what “getting it” would practically mean, outside of the immediate problem, and quite possibly does not want to even think about what it really means. This is because of the actual answer to her question, “Why can’t guys just get it?”

    They can’t get it because they’ve been lied to. Women have lied to them from childhood, men who’ve bought the lies have repeated earnestly them, and society in general (who was it that said women are society?) lies to them daily, about what a man is and should do. Fearful and resentful women (a.k.a. feminists) have, as a reason for all they do, a vested interest in perpetuating the lies because they make men less able to commit the crimes we’re all supposedly on the verge of during every waking moment. Women with better motives, partly buying the fearful feminist pseudo-logic, partly (arguably) setting up a society-wide screen to weed out weaker men, and partly out of a very feminine tendency toward magical thinking, are possessed of the notion that somehow we’ll find our way to the truth. Beta men, of course, simply keep repeating the same fruitless crap, hoping for a different result (c.f. definition of ‘insanity’) and wary of more masculine impulses which nonetheless yield a better harvest.

    What the frustrated yet thoughtless girls have created, though, is not so much a filter for men who will defy the stated – and consciously believed – proper ways of male behavior, but fewer and fewer men who actually know to deliver mature masculinity to a world where it was scarce enough already. (Immature masculinity being the feminists’ true hobgoblin is for a different post. See Jung, Moore and similar for details.) Countless men have been turned away from the best parts of their nature, only to be punished for trying to do the right thing. That magical thinking I mentioned is straight-up fantasy, a baseless notion that a man of thought and honor will ignore what he’s been taught and, without aid, guidance or learning curve, somehow land exactly where he should have been to begin with. It’s on the level of other romance novel/movie idiocy, where the hero surprises the heroine with a full set of clothes that miraculously fit perfectly, or similar nonsense. Ever notice how B&D erotica is always about training the sub, while the dom has never needed to learn his role? Same fantasy. Same source.

  12. These dumb bitches want washing machines and airplanes and sitcoms and all the creature comforts provided by obedient betas and they want dynamic unpredictable entertaining dominance from them too. At this point the only decent thing to do is pump and dump them until they don’t know what to want anymore.

  13. I’ll never forget the day I saw a 6’5 300 pound Lebanese man (local thug) wincing with tears at a parking lot pleading with his girlfriend while she looked at me with a look of total disdain and discust.

    This post completely encapsulates that brief moment.

    1. I think early man figured this out, and then said, “Fuck these mind games, we’re stronger than you”, and put all of the womb men under control. And on that day, civilization was born.

  14. “even your own mother and sisters are in on it”

    If i could go back 20 years and chat to a younger me….oh well.

  15. To me, the reality of women needing men to ‘get it’ can be boiled down to a peculiarity of humans, whether male or female. The image of the dominant male is sacred to the majority of women so to tell a man what they desire is the same as destroying the element of the image that is so appealing- self determination. It’s like an art collector attempting to copy his most expensive acquisitions and discovering he can paint convincing forgeries, or even like a plugged-in father explaining to his daughter exactly how to manipulate men like himself.

  16. I think the Private Man gave a good answer as to why men today just don’t get it: “Masculine dominance is viewed by a feminized society as dangerous. So, little boys are taught at a very young age to be quiet and meek if they are to by accepted by female authority figures, particularly mom and teacher.”

    It’s tough to exhibit dominance when men have been told since birth that being a man is a defect to corrected with the appropriate propaganda and/or psychological drugs.

  17. As men we need to be dominant, not just for each of us individually, but for the whole of civilization. I am brewing an article about the feminism, communism, and atheism, and how they relate to one another and will likely all 3 be used (because they support each other) to bring one man (yes, man) into power. It is important for us not to give up on masculine dominance, or else the few very powerful men who can manipulate their way into great power will have no credible threat to their ascension.

  18. Stephanie Fox is back on Millionaire Match. That’s right and we should all rejoice.

    Her headline says “I’m back and I’m better than ever”.

    I don’t know where she went, but she was gone for about 6 months. She is a 32 year old HB 8.5 and she looks like a Vegas stripper (I don’t know that she is. She just has that look and body.) A Vegas girl on MillionaireMatch could be shopping for out of town guys that blow into Vegas and need a local girl to rock with, or she could the typical MillionaireMatch entitlement princess that seeks her “equal”, or she could be greater beta shopping. It’s hard to say. MillionaireMatch is a very complicated site that could just be called hypergamy.com.

    But now she is back. I could assume that she found a rich guy and it didn’t work out and now she is back. And boy did she come back with trumpets blaring. We should all be happy, Stephanie Fox is back. And I am sure the emails are just pouring in. And I am sure that while she was with whoever it was, that in the back of her mind she knew that she could dump this guy and go back to being the Classy and Fabulous Stephanie Fox and those emails and offers would just pour right in.

    How this relates to this post is that you can’t just “get it”. The “getting it” is going to change at the woman’s pleasure. Where is the line between being dominant and too overbearing, assertive and not cooperative, too weak and not sensitive enough? It is where ever that woman wants to set it, today. And it will move as a function of her hypergamistic interpretation of her options.

    I am going to stick to my role as the 57 year old commenter on this site. I have as much long life experience with women as just about anyone and my position will always be, you run too much risk by marrying. You, that’s right, you, cannot win. Dalrock is trying to identify risk factors in mate choices and so far we have that it is best to marry someone with a college degree and less than 10 sex partners. And the that’s about all we know.

    But I say that if you have been somewhat of a player and if you marry an attractive woman that you jump right in to a pretty high risk group.

    You cannot walk this tightrope and probably not fall. A lot of what both Rollo and Athol Kay say has genuine merit, but what I add is that the price of “getting it” wrong is too high for you to pay. I posed a question on Dalrock about “how much risk do you assume when you marry an attractive woman?”.

    I had a girlfriend when I 29 and she was legitimate 9+ 21 year old. I also had a rottweiler for 12 years. With both, I learned that the risk of having either one is too great to assume, no matter how much you like them. I have never had an HB9 nor a Rottweiler again.

    The Rott decided that a 19 year old boy that was standing next to my 4 year daughter was a legitimate risk and he knocked him down and bit the guy’s lip off in one chomp. The kid never had a chance. He was doing what he thought was his job, protecting that kid. My wife had hired to kid to be a nanny and it was the kid’s first day at work. I often wonder if that Rott saw something in that kid that my wife didn’t. It’s not normal for a 19 year old beta boy to take a job as a nanny. But I was an excellent owner and I controlled that big 130 pound dog in a heroic manner. I have had to dive right into the middle of dog fights to keep him from killing some dog that had come up and wasn’t on a leash. Trust me, a big Rott is not an easy dog to control and you have to have him believe you are the stone alpha in the pack to keep him under control. But just one time that I let my guard down and the effects were huge on my life. So now I won’t have a large dog and certainly not a Rottweiler. Too much risk.

    With the HB 9, when I first started to see her, before I was “in”, we would go into her house and there always 20 messages on her machine, all saying something like “Hi, I work at the store where bought shoes today and I got your number from your check. I have front row tickets to see Jesus Christ and God doing a duet and I was wondering if you wanted to go” or a trip to Cancun or dinner at the best restaurant in town or skiing in Vail and on and on. I, of course, failed every shit test because that 20 years ago I had no idea what a shit test was. But after I was “in” for the period of time that I was “in”, then she would just delete all of them without listening. But I knew they were there. The first sign that I was going to crash and burn was when she started listening to the messages again. I had ran my bank account dry trying to compete with all those implied threats. So when I was all used up and had failed every shit test possible, there was the line of men willing to jump right in my shoes. After the final fight, she had a new guy 2 days later. There was no fucking way I could have ever competed with all those offers. Eventually, they were going to take their toll.

    When you have almost any woman higher than a HB6 there will always be other takers. Mentu had a post yesterday that kind of poked at how we all like the use “the wall” as our revenge point against women. Mentu wondered where the fuck is this wall? Maybe 45 years old, because just about any reasonable looking woman can find some schmuck to go with her before that. It may not be a prime alpha but there will always be a goober that will respond to her flirting and allow her to put the leash on him.

    Marriage is like baseball, it is a long season. Very long. You will go through ebbs and flows in your career and in your aging and often those be contra-posed with the same rhythms of your wife. My ex-wife was 7 years younger. No big shakes when you are 30 and she is 23 or even when you are 38 and she is 31. But after 40 you will go through times where you age quicker then her and there will be an imbalance. Then a few years later she catches up. We divorced when I was 49 and she was 42 after four years of me being in late forties and her in late 30s and early 40s. She was about an HB8 at 23 and aged somewhat well. She was from the north shore of Long Island and some of my friends would call her “The White Tornado” or the “The Great White” or “The Whitest Woman I have ever known” because she was from that Long Island patrician background. The fucking police were afraid of her. They would pull her over and she would fucking make them wait and then roll down that window and say “Yes?” and they would literally apologize for pulling her over. She traded natural gas and there is a community of traders that are just as alpha and ruthless with as much money thrown around as Wall Street and stocks. They would have meetings and she would have to travel to them. She would get dressed up in Saks Fifth Avenue clothes and she was the darling of that group. There were a few other “gas babes” in the group that were better looking but she could hold her own. Those guys never saw her with cellulite on that ass and how plain she looked to me and what she looked like the rest of time. Men would say “Your wife is beautiful” and my first thought was “Her?”. So I am sure at those meetings those men would fawn and drool over her and to me she was a pain in the ass, a first class bitch, with fat thighs. I am sure the Hamster would run at full speed, and in that venue she would think “These guys ‘get me’. My husband doesn’t know how lucky he is.” Looking back, we butted heads almost every time she came back from those meetings. And I pretty sure she was fucking people during trips. There was too much social power and economic power to be gained for a hypergamistic bitch to leave it on the table. There was always some hot trader that had info she wanted or some supplier that being in with that person could make a $40,000 difference in annual income.

    So the point I am making is that over the course of your life you can’t compete with every jerk that wants to throw at her. There will always a moment that seems to her like “fuck this guy. I got plenty of men that want me.” no matter what you do. It’s just like the big Rottweiler. Let your guard down one time, not have a good grip on the leash one time, be looking the other way one time, and the results can be catastrophic. Run through a rough patch in your life, get a little too old for where she is in her aging cycle, and her hypergamy kicks the fuck in and you are standing in the street while she’s got your kids and house. And she will do it because she can.

    The reality now is even though I am 57, she is 50 that she will never even come close to her being competitive with me in SMP or SMV. I guess if we stuck it out until then then we would have stayed together. But then how is that winning? I would have a broken down ass 50 year old woman and a house. I prefer being alone. But I had to be alone to know that I like it better.

    But she has a new husband. Like Mentu said. Even at a broken down (to me) age of 47 years old, there was a little short beta that jumped his right in there and I think he is actually younger than her.

    So it is my assertion, that you cannot win at this game. The cards are marked, the dice are loaded, and the roulette wheel is rigged. Even if you pass a shit test, you can still fail it in that rationalizing mind of hers.

    You don’t know how to play this Marriage Game. Just like this post says, you can learn from Singles Game. Iteration teaches you. If you have issues, Next them. No harm, no foul, at least in the big picture. But this marriage thing, at least for now, you don’t know how to do it.

    You are gonna lose. And the price of losing can be catastrophic to you depending on the time that it happens in your life. You can do it everything right for 20 years and then when you can least afford it, you lose.

    There is no Wild Card Playoff spot in marriage. You win the World Series or you lose.

    So you know what? Play a different game. Game. That’s a game you can win. And at least it’s a game that you can’t loose.

    Take it from a 57 year old man.

  19. I believe that a guy’s wife actually wants her husband to pass her shit tests. Most wifes don’t want to think that their husband is a loser. I think that’s actually want annoys the hell out of them the most, is that their husband is failing these simple little shit tests when he should be passing them with flying colors.

  20. Agreed,

    Mark Minter’s opinions: ‘We’re all fucked’.

    You’re not invited to the wedding big guy.

  21. Actually my nephew is getting married and I am to stay the fuck away. I don’t know how I could sit there when the preacher says “Speak now or forever hold your peace” without just going off. He is the closest resemblance to me among all my nephews. Only my son looks more like me. I want to kidnap him, tie him to a chair, and read Rollo posts to him for 5 days.

    I have had knock drag out fights with my sister over him getting married and have been instructed to stay away from him. My opinion is “Don’t you care about him?”. They are all mooing “But she is a nice girl. Not like her mother who was married 3 times. She has her MBA. They’ve been together since college.” I look at pictures of him and I see him getting fat already. He was a stone natural that would get booty calls as a senior in high school and I can see her lulling him into beta. It’s starting already. My sister had commented on how they had a bit of a squabble over him wanting to rent a PA system for the reception and the bride-to-be “let” him have his way. I went off on that reference to “let” and my sister and I rocked over this for quite a while. Start attacking marriage and I am always amazed at the logic women show and how they will say and do anything during the argument.

    I have just had to let it go.

  22. Mark – I agree. This “alpha” stuff is ridiculous. What are we gentlemen? Bunch of losers scratching their heads about what to do to be WORTHY of pussy???? How to ehm ..”keeeep your wife happy”? What about integrity, freedom? Women are like children. MEN are thinking what to do, to be worthy of CHILDREN? I am disgusted.

    Wise man would not enter this marriage business but frankly, how many wise men are out there when it comes to women? One in a million? Anyway, you made an interesting point concerning the “value” or “league” of your woman.

    While it is possible to occasionally land women out of your league, LTR and marriage usually require people being on the same level or not very far from each other. I mean – we could only keep up appearances for so long. If you have this high mainteance beauty you should prepare for horde of men chasing her every day. Are up to the task? If you have this woman that wants money, sooner or later, she would get them and if you do not provide, she is out (together with the half of your assets).

  23. I do have to add one think. Again – we men are so blind and stupid when it comes to women that almost EVERY chick is able to find a DECENT man, if she wants. We must have been made that way there is no other logical explanation for me. Our linear brains are worth nothing when it comes to women.

    I witnessed many, many couples in which the man is good looking, with great personality and decent income and the woman is UGLY, JOBLESS with bitchy personality. Almost all my friends from childhood settled with under/average (including personality and income issues) women I would not have fucked even after lobotomy. And they can not stop blabbing about how they are “happy” with their nice wives. Many of them were good guys, above average looking, with good money and ALL of them were inteligent.

    Woman date UP – in looks, money, status, inteligence. Serious money or status/power could get good looking woman even for an average man.

    Men date DOWN – in status, power, inteligence, LOOKS, everything. We are made that way. Given this – ugly, jobless and stupid bitch is able to catch decent looking, inteligent man with decent money and this sucker even thinks how “happy” he is and how he is using “Game” to manage his ugly fuck. Life of many married men I know is far worse than life of a DOG.

  24. @ Mark Minter,

    It’s just like the big Rottweiler.

    It’s a good analogy, but I have one question? Why did you go for the big Rottweiller? I’ve had a Rottie for 12 years as well. We got one bred for temperament and not bred for size. She a 74 pound sweet heart. Does she give us a hard time once in a while? Sure she does. We still have to be careful, but we control her. It’s the same for women. FInd a woman based on temperament, not her *size* (I’m not implying this is in anyway easy but there are warning signs).

  25. I had a doberman before. I don’t want to seem like a trailer park guy with big dogs. But the Doberman was the best behaved dog I have ever known. She was smart as a whip and understand whole sentences. It was amazing. A dog trainer came for an hour to teach hand signals and she and I worked together for another couple of hours over the next couple of days and then never used it again. Two years later we were somewhere and she was not on a leash. We went to cross the street right when the cross walk was changing from “walk” to “don’t walk”. I ran and told her to follow. A car honked and she went back to the original side. We were separated on different sides of the street with six lanes of major traffic. Huge noise. She was freaking over there like “what do I do what do I do” I got her attention and did the stay signal and she stopped at attention on all fours and stared at me looking for more direction. Then I did the sit signal and she sat right down. People standing by me were freaking also thinking she would run into traffic and when she plopped into a hard sit on a hand signal, they said “I don’t believe what I just saw”. So anyway, somebody told me “The Rotts are just like Dobermans”. They’re not. That Rott was not smart at all. He was like a big dumb defensive tackle. But he would guard that kid. The kid was a very busy little girl and she would go outside and he would get up and follow her. Three minutes later she would come back in the Rott was right behind. When she napped, he napped right at the foot of where she was. I had to hold him while they put him down for biting that boy. It crushed me. He was just doing his job. I got charged with something, some dog bite charge. The judge chewed me out for not controlling my viscous, killer Rottweiller. It happened inside my house. I didn’t even know the boy was in the house. I just had stand there and take it from the judge. I would get a trainer and a muzzle. Just to be safe. The Rott doesn’t seem to mind it. I have seen almost all police Rotts have them. That dog has a jaw that is incredible. When they do snap and bite. It takes chunks out of people. He might just do it one time and act like “Oh shit. I didn’t mean to do that.” But trust me, all hell breaks loose with Animal Control.

    That’s the point of the analogy. You can do everything you can and still, some shit happens and you’re divorced.

    Just reading this sentence makes me cringe. A man who is under a woman’s control breeds contempt and she will be incapable of respecting him.

    Oh, but it’s the basis of so many hit songs,…

  27. bigern77
    August 22nd, 2012 at 4:34 pm
    Sigh. So much effort spent on these wombmen. I was reading pre-WWII history last night and it was fascinating to see what a world run by men looked like.

    Right on.

    I saw that world as a child in the 70s. My mom treated my dad like a “colonel”. This all came back to me one day when my ex was giving me sh$t about my driving.

    I thought to myself, “my mom would never have even considered questioning my dads driving, ESPECIALLY in front of us children”. In 18 years, I never witnessed my dad curse, raise his voice or ARGUE with my mom.

    I now realize my mom never did ANYTHING that would make people question my dads authority, intelligence… No wonder Im still single. All these years Ive been looking for a type of woman that was “disciontinued” long ago. BTW, I have 5 unmarried miserable sisters who no longer hold our mothers life in contempt like they were taught to do.

  28. @ b-i66er
    “All these years Ive been looking for a type of woman that was “disciontinued” long ago.”

    the pragmitist would still like to believe this possible but the more enlightened one becomes the deeper the hole goes, as unfortunate as it is there is no ideological esoteric uptopian aristocracy, the social paradigm two decades was a morally coerciably enforcable system of social engineering. As a 27 year old man i will never marry not due to the great wealth of knowledge garnered here but for the fact that my father married a bpd woman and that is a whole experience in itself. The idealist in me wishes they did on occasion but for now being a cynical misogynist seems the way forward

  29. From the Stabbing Westward song:

    I know exactly what you’re thinking
    But I swear this time I will not let you down
    I’m not as selfish as I used to be
    That was a part of me that never made me proud
    Right now I think I would try anything
    Anything at all to keep you satisfied
    God I hope you see what losing you would do to me
    All I want is one more chance… tell me

    He lost her with “But I swear this time I will not let you down” And from there it just gets worse. Hearing that a man would do anything for you, but won’t for himself makes a woman wonder what is going on. She most likely won’t be able to verbalize it but she will know it acutely because she will feel it. Next, upon hearing “God I hope you see what losing you would do to me”, she will want to run away. No woman wants to think that her leaving will destroy a man, because if that’s all it takes than he is not strong enough for her. Now, many women will say they want a man that loves her like this, because they like the power trip, but deep down, she will lose respect even of the most alpha of men. There is a fine line, as a woman wants to know her man loves her and would be hard pressed if she left, but to verbalize that in such a manner is too much.

    The reason women find these songs and men like this in the movies so enticing is because it is assumed the men singing and the men acting are very strong alpha men. If the woman can fantasize that she was chosen by a man like this and then make him feel this way, it makes her a very special snowflake. The thrill will not last at all, however, unless he turns himself immediately around to the alpha again.

  30. Minter:

    The Wall doesn’t mean won’t can’t get beta orbiters; it means all she can get are beta orbiters.

    Women don’t want them, get bored of them, but then have little more to turn to.

    I have a dozen or more 30-something hotties begging for advice on how to find a man. I tell them: you can’t, you’re not 22 anymore.

    The Wall.

  31. Speaking of hit songs and their Game significance, consider the recent one by Gotye, Someone I Used to Know.

    [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UVNT4wvIGY&w=560&h=315%5D

    It couldn’t be more beta. It even has “still be friends” written right into the lyrics. She apparently responded to beta-ness by having her friends picking up her things from his place, and changing her phone number.

  32. @A.B. Dada: Point taken, but, even in her thirties, a woman is still younger than another subset of met. While it seems men up to their fifties are still looking for twenty somethings, there does come a point when that starts to be unrealistic. I think its just a matter of finding your niche market. And having something that sets you a bit apart from a crowd. You might have to understand that if you spent your prime years with someone else, you may not get someone else’s prime years. You’ve gotta wait till they’ve gone into player retirement 🙂

  33. The simplest way to turn a woman off is to appreciate her.

    Yeah, if you appreciate her for who she is, this is true. It is the pedestal. However, I think women very much like to be appreciated for the things she does, when done well.

  34. I’ll get married when unicorns and faeries start popping up. Until then, there is no point.

    I’ve read a lot of MRA and similar blogs over the last year or so, and my problem with all of them is the same:

    Every blogger can reasonably explain what the problem is.

    Virtually no one offers a solution.

  35. @phinn — i thought that gotye song was lyrically embarrassing. too. But after hearing the girl’s part, it seems the male had women on the side. and that’s why she left, thus why he’s sad

  36. “But I was an excellent owner and I controlled that big 130 pound dog in a heroic manner. ”

    I’m sure the kid, now disfigured for life, would concur. Owners of vicious dogs and “barkers” are passive-aggressive douchebags. I’ll bet a month’s pay that you have an extra loud fashion-harley too.

    As you were.

  37. After reading Minter I think I need a drink. Or six. Is it Friday yet? The nephew marriage story really hit home. Went to a relative’s weeding recently and heard the groom’s dad (the relative) toast how his son puts the bridge “on a pedestal.” She is an HB8 for sure. Told the groom (age 30) I would slip him Athol’s book later. Hope it helps. After reading this post and Minter I doubt it.

  38. mr.magNIFicient1

    I have a poodle now. I made a mistake when I bought the dog. I had actually tried to sell it when it was puppy. At the time, I wasn’t harsh enough as a person to go ahead and put it down. Now, I would. But at the time I viewed as my son. That was point of the analogy. The best way to avoid trauma and catastrophic situations is to never even expose yourself to the possibility of them. In the late 80s all these cute Rott puppies showed up. They had not been even seen in the general population of dogs. I got one. Now, I would never get anything that is on the list of top 10 biters now. That dog was a major hassle. Parents would freak when they saw it. So now nobody runs from a 5 pound poodle. They say “Look kids, how cute” and the kids come pet it.”

    Same thing with a wife. Avoid one and you never get your lip bitten off.

  39. As a woman I’ll say this “communication is key in a relationship” depends on the communication styles of the individuals involved. I had a boyfriend who had a completely different communication style than me and our communication was horrid, as was the relationship. Now I’m with someone with a similar communication style and its great. What is key in a relationship is having things in common, such as values, lifestyle, beliefs and world views. The more you have in common the more your communication styles are likely to be compatible as well.

    Our materialistic culture has it backwards. Looks and sexual skills are not the most important things, they are just icing on the cake.

  40. Solomon’s first post on this page is just about perfect. It provided some much-needed perspective today, as I’m dealing with some truly screwed-up female duplicity.

    Lying infuriates me, quick. And this woman lied to me, big time.

  41. This excellent post reminds of the mid-80s minor hit “If She Knew What She Wants”. The song was originally performed by pseudo-indie artist and song writer Jules Shear. It is the prototypical beta ballad about being befuddled by female fickleness

    The Bangle’s version flips the script of the song and has Susanna Hoffs ramping up her coquettery to 11 as a hamster given material form solely to mock the beta for not “getting it”. The more masculine Peterson sisters are on back up vocals in an unfruitful attempt to inject logic into the situation.

  42. Anonymous Reader,

    My original comment got caught in the spam filter. WordPress does not like me commenting on other blogs at the moment. Anyway, that song is hysterical! I think she would respect him more after that if she ever woke up.

  43. A clear indicator of how completely the feminine imperative has taken over.

    Why doesn’t a man have the right to complain that his gf/wife doesn’t “get it” and should be more sweet and submissive? A lot of people these days would laugh at that.

    Because as a man, if you have to ask her for that, it ruins it. It’s the same dynamic, but why does one side have license to complain but not the other?

    I have been in this situation (never again now that I understand)… and almost every married guy I know feels this way. Their wife uses their gatekeeper status to manipulate them and gain hand, and the result is they’re both unhappy.

    All this talk of manning up, where’s the call for womaning down? Do we really want an arms race in every relationship where the woman continues to be more demanding and aggressive as society tells her she should, and the guy has to be more and more dark triad to keep pace?

    Why can’t women be urged to remember their naturally softer, yielding, and faithful nature? Why is that “oppression from the patriarchy”?

    Because honey, the more aggressive and mannish you become, the more of a total asshole I’ll have to be to show that I “get it”. Is that the world we want?

    I’ll tell you what, this whole gatekeeper thing has gotta change. Men and women both have to realize something: men can’t really have sex if they don’t feel like it, but women can. There’s untapped power there.

  44. NBA players work at their craft. But most of them are naturally gifted athletes. And a lot of them could play another sport at a high level.

    Does anyone think “just get it” can be inherent? Are some guys just born with that knowledge? You either have it or you don’t. You can read blogs, have game, Red Pill it, or whatever else. But you either just get it or you don’t.

    For what it’s worth, my game is I have no game.

    1. Women’s animalistic sexual impulses are exposed (and reveled in) and now they want to burn the evidence.

      Sorry ladies, the hypergamy Genie is out of the bottle.

  45. I realize they go hand in hand, but I don’t think the feminist care one iota about hypergamy. It’s the natural state of submissiveness that has their panties in a bunch.

  46. “Women’s animalistic sexual impulses are exposed”

    Not really. 50 shades is not a BDSM manifesto. It is really tame and sappy. Tied wrist? Ooooooh that’s so radical. Not.

  47. On the book burning. So disheartening how they just throw around the term “misogyny”…

    “They send out the wrong message and are in fact encouraging abuse, sexism and misogyny,” she told the Echo.

    Most never take the time to consider how it is exactly the opposite that drives a man to posses a woman. The utter love and passion that a woman can bring out in a man can drive him to change the world for her.

  48. @D-man

    “Why can’t women be urged to remember their naturally softer, yielding, and faithful nature? Why is that “oppression from the patriarchy”?

    You do not know anything about women, son. They are the main tool, nature has designed to keep perpetuation of humankind. The bait, the hook, the medium. Basically walking DNA. They are as ruthless as nature in their service of life. Their core is PURE animal. NO higher soul, no higher ideas, just one paradigm – s u r v i v e and r e p l i c a t e. Strong, ruthless, protean and adapting to whatever is necessary to meet this.

    If you want them to be “soft, yelding and ..ehm, ehm. FAITHFUL”, you have to keep tehm in line by force and necessity and watch closely. Of course they will adapt – to survive. Men would die for ideas, justice, higher GOOD. Women adapt to whatever comes to survive. If satan himself came to this world and established his “reich” many good and honest men would die in a battle for freedom and justice. Women would adapt, sleep with him a produce children. Nature itself.

    Do not mistake their behaviour towards children for “softness”. This is animalistic instinct shown in females of all species. Woman would KILL you and EAT you if she could and it were necessary for heir children to survive. Next day she could live as nothing happened. No regret, no remorse, no consciousness. Nature itself. Do not underestimated nature and its main weapon when it comes to humans – woman.

  49. Hey I just wrote this on Chateau’s blog. Thought it was relevant here as well. Do you have any thoughts on this?


    In keeping with the theme everything we ever knew was wrong… and is usually the opposite, I’ve recently been thinking about the importance of orgasms.

    I think I read on this blog how women are more likely to fake orgasms for more alpha or hotter guys. The mainstream picks up on this evidence that they don’t really love them etc. etc.

    But think about how women freak out when they can’t get you off, they start questioning themselves and put in extra effort.

    Is the worship of the female orgasm (after all it’s easy for guys to get off and only a real man can give a woman orgasms) and the shame associated with the male orgasm (coming too quickly is looked down upon, even though it makes sense biologically it displays lack of experience with hot women / pre-selection ), indicative of yet another way in which we are lead astray from what is really happening and what really works?

    Another point, women enjoy sex much more when the guy leads and dominates (ie does what he wants).

    I’m not advocating ignoring a woman’s wants and needs completely. But is this another example of women saying one thing and on a deep level wanting something else.

    In practical terms how can you use this? Openly or in a subtle way questioning if a woman can get you off? I’ve heard of guys who sometimes pretend they can’t finish and that it leads to women putting in lots of extra effort in future sessions.

  50. Forgot to add. So the willingness to fake an orgasm is a submissive act maybe just as powerful a display as a real one?

  51. This is off topic but I want to hear what people have to say: On the differences between female and male attraction could there be a sort of “Sexy Daughter” hypothesis that has women mating with beta males who are physically attractive though not socially or biologically dominant because of the benefits it would confer to her female offspring? Better to secure a cute provider if you’re an average looking woman so your daughters could take top rank in the harem of an alpha male.

    I think such a hypothesis could clear up the debate on male’s looks versus virility and status. They’re both important, but for different reasons.

  52. John5: “Forgot to add. So the willingness to fake an orgasm is a submissive act maybe just as powerful a display as a real one?”

    So this “Joke” isn’t ACTUALLY one at all?

    “How do you tell if a woman orgasms?”
    “Who the fuck cares?”

  53. @Gregg
    Don’t you think you’ve gone a little overboard on the whole women are evil incarinate?
    People in general are self-serving. It’s not just women. It’s mankind.
    Around the manosphere, people like to point out the flaws and the mindset of women because a lot of the guys have been fucked over in one way or another and want to figure out how to lessen that chance in the future. I believe that this is the right thing to do as well. We all found these sites usually because we had problems with dealing with women department.
    The only reason guys aren’t in mass taking advantage of women in the post-feminist world is because most guys can’t. It’s as simple as that. If they were given the option to have random sex with women and treat them as sexual chew toys the majority of men would. This would be the equivalent of what attractive young women do now. How they are completely self interested when they are young. They simply have the power to do so. Men are not more inhertently noble at all, it’s just that most men simply aren’t that attractive.

  54. It took me a while to digest this idea, I’ve never seen it articulated quite this way, but I figured out how it applies in my own marriage. For a lot time I tried hard to communicate a lot to my wife, and she was always nagging, huffing around, a perpetual air of disappointment on her face, saying she wanted more communication. She was a downer to be around. I evolved though and decided to stop talking to her – not giving her the silent treatment, still chatting and communicating about household stuff and telling her I love her – but just assume that most of the time she doesn’t want to hear about my worries or fears or anxieties or my day to day shit, unless it’s something entertaining. Over time I adopted the demeanor my father wore most of the time – listen passively, be stoic, and don’t give a damn if she’s whining about something. This actually led to a positive improvement in her attitude and behavior, and since I started reading game blogs I’ve upped the stoic game on her a bit, and now she’s constantly yapping at me, apparently (and slightly nervously) trying to earn my approval. She seems much happier. Damned if I’m going to ask her if she’s happy though – that’d undercut my demeanor, and what she does is more important than what she would say anyhow, and since she looks happy she probably is. I’m a good provider & husband, but if she was really unhappy with the situation and booted my ass out, I’d have good options in the SMP, so it’s not like I need to be obsessed with what she thinks about me.

    The heart of a woman in a relationship should be thought of as comparable to the situation facing Schroedinger’s Cat. As the observer of her feelings, you can observe from a distance and get a good idea about how she feels and what the trajectory of her heart is. But if you try to get real close to her and get a detailed picture of how she feels about you, if you get sucked into a back-and-forth about the state of the relationship and her feeeee-lings, she may tell you how much she loves you but your having elicited that will alter the trajectory of her feelings, and later on she’ll think less of you and love you less, because you’ve been so un-dominant as to be worried about what a woman thinks about you.

    The cliche about women liking strong, silent types is there for a reason.

  55. gregg
    August 25th, 2012 at 1:51 am

    You do not know anything about women, son. They are the main tool, nature has designed to keep perpetuation of humankind. The bait, the hook, the medium. Basically walking DNA. They are as ruthless as nature in their service of life. Their core is PURE animal. NO higher soul, no higher ideas, just one paradigm – s u r v i v e and r e p l i c a t e. Strong, ruthless, protean and adapting to whatever is necessary to meet this.

    Greggs comment explains why integrity is such a rare trait in females.Most have no problem throwing away everything they believe in and taking the exact opposite position if there is a material benefit to doing so.

    Males on the other hand, have a long history of fighting to the death over a principle, even when there is a material benefit to “switching sides”.

    This is what makes males so dangerous/troublesome…especially to governments.

    Disapointment is the mother of rebellion; and males are always being disapointed because they think in terms of the idea or the concept, then they want to make the concept reality, like landing on the moon…

    But conepts always interfere with reality because reality is the result of limited thinking, niggardly thinking.

    People get nervous when you don’t limit your thinking to the existing reality; except when you are a little boy, then its cute.

    Later such thinking is considered dangerous.

  56. I can’t stand that attitude that gets thrown around about men’s sexuality vs. women’s sexuality.
    Men = Noble paragons of righteous action.
    Women = Treachous whores that will always fuck you over.

    Look BOTH sexes are evil and self-serving. If given the options I would say 80 percent of men would fuck every half attractive women if they could. That’s the kicker. Most guys can’t fuck mulitple amounts of women. That simply don’t have that option.

    Look at men with options in the media. It seems that every single famous male celebrity fucks around. Almost every athlete except closeted homosexual Tim Tebow. Actors such as Arnold with a homely maid, David Beckham with some regular plain nanny.
    The paradigm is:

    Men = Fuck everything that is half way attractive if they can.

    Women = Hygergameously move up when they can.

    In order to not act in these base instincts, it takes moral and social training.

    The big issue is that women’s sexual motives are not explored in the media at all. They supposed to be ‘mysterious’ where guys sexual M.O is widely touted and displayed.

  57. furious ferret

    Both sexes are self serving??? Tell it to those countless men that have sacrified their lives for women that were not even their own – titanic. Men have protective instincts towards women and children. Women have protective instincts towards children. This is pure biology. Men would kill each other to protect women, much more – men would sacrifice their life to protect women. Not the other way around. Nature made it that way.

    This simple difference – when you give it a serious, deep thought, could tell you the truth. Your very existence is to provide, serve, protect and die for her and her children if necessary. It is in your blood, in your brain, in your feelings. Law of nature.

  58. Christian Player, congratulations on your new site. The title by which you choose to identify yourself carries with it great responsibilities. Comport yourself accordingly. You have my best wishes and prayers.

    The convergence of faithful men of Christ and game technique is about to occur, and you have identified yourself with this tipping point. Gone are the stupid canards about incompatibility, those lingering prejudices of Game 1.0 that still seem to stir up ignorant atheists for a moment before they disappear back into their slough of despond.

    I especially like that your blog is set up to publish cleanly on iPad Safari browser, unlike all the other WordPress sites, including this one. Godspeed, brother.


  59. I learned a long time ago that women NEVER say what they mean, nor do they really understand themselves – they will look you in the eye and spout horse-sh*t when it comes to “what a woman wants” – what they should say is – “This is what I’ve been told I should want, but it’s boring so I’ll cheat on it:” before giving their list. Of course when a man asks that he wants to know “What gets your juices flowing?” – which is almost the exact opposite of what any woman will list.

    I never believed a word of what women say, and have always done exactly what I want – sometimes modified to be even more “over-the-top” then what I would do if left to my own devices. Originally, I figured that would make the point, but turn off women – instead it had the exact opposite effect. Women that I would have thought were out of my reach – weren’t, and they were worried that I would find someone better. They taught me to be their worst nightmare as far as behavior, and their favorite wet-dream at the same time.

    Yet, I have still seen women who think that threats can be used for marriage… Why would any sane man marry? Couple that to a woman who is twisting your arm for that ring, and you have a recipe for disaster if you give in. Just keep her hanging, and if she wants to walk, good riddance – you’re losing nothing but a bed partner, and they are easily replaceable, and I would say that it’s necessary to replace them every 3-6 months just as a matter of policy…

    Don’t get me wrong… I love women… I just know that they are out for themselves, just as I am out for myself. Unfortunately, our objectives tend to be 180 degrees apart. Unfortunately, a lot of men do not understand that, and end up lamenting life… Stay focused on what is best for you, and you’ll never regret anything.

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  62. “She want’s you to ‘get it’ on your own, without having to be told how. That initiative and the experience needed to have had developed it makes you a Man worth competing for. Women despise a man who needs to be told to be dominant. Overtly relating this to a guy entirely defeats his credibility as a genuinely dominant male. The guy she wants to fuck is dominant because that’s ‘the way he is’ instead of who she had to tell him to be.”

    Funnily enough that’s the way I feel about sluts and girls putting out to easily. If I’m looking for an LTR, and the girl puts out easily, I’ll accept her putting out, but I’ll disqualify her for an LTR. Now women have told me, “just tell her not to put out then!” But that defeats the whole purpose, if you have to tell her not to be a slut in order to get you, than her not being a slut isn’t genuine and the girl I want to commit to is a genuine non-slut, not someone just acting out the behaviour of one.

  63. Reminds me of a girl I dated in my late teens who kept asking me, ‘What are you thinking?’ during intimate moments.

    I would give her circumspect or flippant responses. I was instinctively cautious until I eventually concluded she wanted me to let down my guard so she and I could be closer. I figured, for us to move ahead, I needed to trust her. I was young, in love, and of course, didn’t know about shit tests and hypergamy. So I finally told her what I was thinking. In shockingly rapid order, that was the beginning of the end. Shit test failed.

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