Female Dating Advice

The prey does not teach the hunter how better to catch it.

Why women give bad dating advice.

This one is always a controversial topic on SoSuave. I find it ironic that the same guys who whole-heartedly agree with the idiom “believe what she does, not what she says”, are often the same men who really want to believe that, select, special women actually do give other men advice that has merit.

The problem is most guys simply parrot the words women have told them over the years when they asked them “What do women want in a guy?” and then think it works since they got it straight from the horse’s mouth. Unfortunately, too many guys, especially recently, have bought the same line women have been repeating for ages thinking it’s a way to put themselves at an advantage when all it does is disqualify not only them, but the poor suckers who hear ‘chick advice’ from another guy, repeat it, and the cycle continues.

My take is that the ‘chick advice’ phenomenon is a socio-evolutionary fail-safe mechanism meant to filter women’s selection process of less desirable men from more desirable (competition worthy) men. Think about this – women almost uniquely own “relationship advice” in popular media. There are a few notable feminized male exceptions (i.e. the Dr. Phils), but the ones who don’t align their opinions along a feminine-first priority are surreptitiously tagged as misogynists and marginalized or ridiculed.

On some level of consciousness women know they’re full of shit when they offer up the ‘standard’ chick advice. To greater or lesser degrees, they know they’re being less than genuine when they see this advice regularly contradicted by their own behaviors. Women (and now men) repeat in article after article how well developed the female capacity is for communication, so it follows that they must know to some, maybe subconscious, degree that they are being less than helpful if not deliberately misleading. Even the mothers with the best interests of their son’s at stake still parrot these responses. It’s like a female imperative. Why?

For the answer, all you have to do is look at the bios of single women on any online dating service. When asked to describe the characteristics they find desirable in a man, the single most common responses are confidence, decisiveness, independence. Traits that would require a man to be a Man and have the foresight and perseverance not to take things at face value. The guy with the capacity to call a woman’s bluff with a confidence that implies she is to be worthy of him rather than the other way around is the Man to be competed for. Essentially the ‘chick speak’, ‘chick advice’ phenomenon is a shit test writ large on a social scale. And even your own mother and sisters are in on it, expecting you to ‘get it’; to get the message and see the challenge for what it really is, without overtly telling you.

Most guys are natural pragmatists, we look for the shortest most efficient way between two points. The deductive reasoning that follows is that if we want sex, and women have the sex we want, we ought to ask them what conditions they require from us in order for us to get it. The problem is that women don’t want to tell us this, because in doing so it makes us less independent and and more compromising (and lazy) in our own identities in order to get at her sexuality. This is counter to the decisive, independent and masculine Man they really want and is evidenced in their behaviors. He should know what women want without asking because he’s observed them often enough, been successful with them often enough, and taken the efforts to make decisions for himself based on their behaviors, especially in the face of a world full of women’s conflicting words. This makes him the commodity in the face of a constant, overwhelming contradiction of her own and other women’s motives, words and behaviors.

She want’s you to ‘get it’ on your own, without having to be told how. That initiative and the experience needed to have had developed it makes you a Man worth competing for. Women despise a man who needs to be told to be dominant. Overtly relating this to a guy entirely defeats his credibility as a genuinely dominant male. The guy she wants to fuck is dominant because that’s ‘the way he is’ instead of who she had to tell him to be.

Observing the process will change it. This is the root function of every shit test ever devised by a woman. If masculinity has to be explained to a man, he’s not the man for her.


  1. I was going to say that you give women too much credit for being intelligent and/or self aware enough to realize that the advice they give is complete bullshit, but then I remembered something that happened to me recently that would lend a grain of truth to your theory.

    A couple of months ago I met up with some friends before a night on the town. My business partner’s girlfriend and her best friend were there, along with the girlfriend’s sister who was visiting from out of town.

    We met up at my business partner’s condo. I had been warned the previous weekend that the sister was a hard nut to crack, so I was fully prepared to have to interact with a woman who had a bitch shield a mile high.

    A few minutes after I arrived I was elected to bartending duty. I poured everyone a drink, and within 10 seconds of handing it to her, the sister makes a face and says “Aren’t you supposed to STIR this?”

    I explained to her that in the past I had bartended for several years, and that a carbonated drink does not require stirring to mix properly- the bubbles do a fine enough job without any assistance.

    She might have said something huffy when I finished explaining this to her, I can’t remember, but I do remember saying to her “If you really want it stirred, here is the spoon”.

    I didn’t think much of it at the time but in retrospect I had passed two critical shit tests by 1) disagreeing with her and subsequently educating her, and 2) not pandering to her wishes by offering to stir her drink.

    As soon as the sister walked away, the best friend came up to me and said “Way to handle the sister”. It was an obvious nod to me having passed the stinky shit tests with flying colors.

    So yes, I agree, women do know more than they let on. I do however believe that most of the time there is a big disconnect between their conscious thought process and their words.

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  3. oh god. that article is an abomination. and that broad and others like her are the empowered sluts that the matrix is pumping out in mass production. the very crowning achievement of the whole shebang.

    i probably read about 1/4 into her list before i just stopped. its rife with typical feminist fallacies and faux indignation that can only be attested to her having ridden the carousel and hitting the wall. i can bet money that chick is over 25 and nothing more then a 7.

    and yes, it also has all the classic female imperative inclination (projection, assuming attraction etc)

    a good rule of thumb is to just not take a females dating advice for men. it wont do you any good and will just further confuse you.especially not from a well worn slut like the one in that article

  4. Thanks for your reply, T.Jr. You’re right. The woman in that article is over
    25, 37 to be exact.

    So I guess Rollo Tomassi’s advice applies to all women regardless of age. I
    thought that at some age women and men would be able to transcend hypergamy and PUA culture.

    All aspects of The Game as played by men and women, including hypergamy, shit testing, pick up artistry, etc. seem so destructive. In April 2012, there were
    some very interesting articles on The Rawness blog discussing the types of
    personalites and behaviors encouraged by The Game including codependency,
    narcissism, and compensatory narcissism. The one of the conclusions is that
    participating in pickup artistry is not recommended because of the harm it
    causes the PUA since some PUAs have attempted suicide.


    Even Rollo Tomassi admits this destruction in his Oct. 22, 2012 post

    Instead of using the knowledge of the matrix to exploit the people still in the
    matrix, can’t men and women use that knowledge to destroy the matrix and free
    people from The Matrix?

  5. I understand why you don’t ask a woman you are courting what she wants you to do.

    But in the case of a hired female coach… presumably she’s in business and wants to make money…. and would realize that providing bad advice to her clients that will cause them to be unhappy with the results…. Now, if I follow this article correctly, despite that, she STILL can’t help herself from doing the things she would do to make sure that her clients are not worthy of her selecting them herself… even though she and they both know that she is not going to be dating any of them. Is this right? Or if not can you explan why she would do that?

  6. I’m not sure where I saw this nugget of wisdom; it might have been here.

    Asking a woman how to win her heart is akin to asking a child how it should be raised.

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  9. >> in doing so it makes us less independent and and more compromising (and lazy) in our own identities in order to get at her sexuality

    That is such a great line.

    I just read this book Arousal (psychology of fantasies) and the author talks about how masculinity is forged as a young man begins to separate his identity from his image of his mother. I’d heard recently (elsewhere) that men often define their identities by what they “don’t want to be.”

    Putting all this together… it’s a sort of momma’s boy move to ask for advice on how to please. Super momma’s boy to believe it, and parrot those comments. Momma’s boys… not attractive.

    A man’s IDENTITY begins as pulls away from that kind of relationship.

    Men should buy their shoes in the men’s department.

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  11. What about advice in general? How do you take advice, I always do what I want to do and have really troubles listening to people. I am having some doubts about one woman I am seeing.
    I ask some men for advice, but sometime it just feels like I have already made a decision deep inside of me and just waiting for someone to allow me to drop this awesome woman. I love her, but thinking logically and long-term, this love feels more like it bothers me and my independence.
    I am totally invested in this “doing the right thing” and “be nice to people”, to the point that me dropping this girl will make my friends girlfriends worried that if she can be dropped – so can I. I also would like a younger girl, this might make some people a little bit envious. I just feel like I lower my own potential to not make other people feel bad.
    And I also miss taking different girls to bed and sacrificing options for one girl for the rest of my life seems so far out there that she almost needs to be a 22 yo virgin model.
    What to do with conflicting mindsets like this? It really feels like I am a little bit fucked up here.

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