Appreciation

I’ve had a fantastic marriage for over 15 years now, but I’m not going to sugar coat the facts that marriage involves life changing sacrifices for men that no woman will ever fully understand or appreciate. I’m not anti-marriage. I’m anti- uninformed, pollyanna, shoulda’-saw-it-coming, ONEitis fueled, shame induced, bound for bankruptcy, scarred my children for life, marriage.

A woman loves you when she takes you for granted. That sounds odd I know, but it’s when she’s not fawning all over you and you’re in your 10th year of marriage and it’s just part of everyday conversation. “OK, love you, bye” is at the end of every phone call. You’re not thinking about it, because you don’t need to. If you’re asking the question “how do you know when she loves you?” You’re not in it. It’s only when that familiarity and regular comfort is removed that she can appreciate it. Once the commonness of love is established women will only rarely express it overtly – in fact the expression will be what’s expected of you – so you have to look for it covertly.

All the flowery crap you read in your Hallmark card on Valentines Day or your Anniversary was written by someone else. And while it’s nice to have these gestures of appreciation occasionally, it’s more important to see the forest for the trees. It’s not individual acts of affection or appreciation so much as it is the whole of what you both do on a regular day-to-day basis. It’s what you and she are all about after your three hundredth bowl of oatmeal together on a Saturday morning and your kids are fighting for control of the TV remote while you’re sitting across the breakfast table discussing which bills need to be paid first this month and how bad the lawn needs mowing that defines love and marriage. Yes, precisely the things you’ll never think about when you’re sarging her or considering moving her up in your plate spinning line up.

This is what marriage is; not necessarily boring per se (although it certainly can be more often than not), but ordinary. It’s normal, common, or becomes so. Think about how many people who’ve lived, married and died on planet earth who did exactly the same things as you. That’s the real test of marriage that no one who hasn’t experienced it can really relate in any meaningful sense. The happy, Oprah-ized idea is that you have to “keep it fresh”, but even after a night of freshening it up and the Wal-Mart lingerie is in the clothes hamper, and you pick up the kids from spending the night at her sisters house the morning after, you go back to the day-to-day marriage you’ve always had. This is the shit no one tells you about when you’re being sold on the Marriage Goal – the “now what?” feeling that comes directly after you’ve found the ONE you’ve been looking for, or “did the right thing” with and married because she suddenly rediscovered religion AFTER you’d had marathon sex with her for 3 months straight and wouldn’t abort the pregnancy (and no, that didn’t happen to me).

Appreciation

I think what most men uniquely deceive themselves of is that they will ultimately be appreciated by women for their sacrifices. Learn this now, you wont. You can’t be because women fundamentally lack the ability to fully realize, much less appreciate the sacrifices a man makes to facilitate her reality. Even the most enlightened, appreciative woman you know still operates in a feminne-centric reality. Men making the personal sacrifices necessary to honor, respect and love her are commonplace. You’re supposed to do those things. You sacrificed your ambitions and potential to provide her with a better life? You were supposed to. You resisted temptation and didn’t cheat on your wife with the hot secretary who was DTF and ready to go? You were supposed to. Your responsibilities to maintaining a marriage, a home, your family, etc. are common – they’re expected. They are only appreciated in their absence.

This is the totality of the feminine-centric reality. Men only exist to facilitate the feminine reality, and any man who disputes this (or even analyzes its aspects) is therefore not a ‘man’. It just IS. Even the most self-serving, maverick among men is still beholden to the feminine imperative in that he’s only defined as a rebel because he doesn’t comply with the common practices of ‘men’ in a female defined reality. And ironically it’s just this maverick who is appreciated by the feminine above those men who would comply with it (or even promote it)  as a matter of course.

The concept of appreciation really dovetails into a lot of other aspects of intergender relations.

For instance in The Mature Man thread; assume for a moment that a 40 y.o. Man with the options to pursue younger women “does the right thing” and seeks out a relationship with a woman his own age. Would he be appreciated for essentially giving an aged woman a new lease on life? Or would he be viewed as doing what is to be expected of him?

Would a man who marries a single mother and helps with the parental investment of another man’s child be appreciated more for having done so? Would it even factor into a woman’s estimation of his character, or would he simply doing what’s expected of a man?  The question of appreciation is a real quandary for the White Knight.

Relationships aren’t work.

Familiarity does in fact breed contempt,..and mediocrity, and routine, and banality, and commonness,.. which is why so many marriages end up in the shit can. Men and women give up on themselves.

The “Relationships are work” meme is a Social Convention. How often do you hear men say these words? This has filtered into popular consciousness even with men now. For the LTR men who subscribe to this I’d also speculate that many of them are in relationships where THEY are “doing the work” for the women who are giving them the ‘grade’ so to speak. And of the single men who subscribe to this mythology, each had to be conditioned to believe this is the case in LTRs by women. This is rooted in the mistaken belief that men’s actions and sacrifices can ever be appreciated by women.

What would the best method be to get a man to live up to the idealizations a woman has as her perfect mate (however twisted and convoluted this may have been defined for her)? Women love the ‘fixer upper’. “He’d be such a great guy if only he would, _____” or she’ll say “I’m working on him.” It’s when the conditioning goes from “I’m working on him” to “We’re working on our relationship” that he has now internalized her frame control. This is where the mythology of Relationships-as-Work is derived from. How often is it the woman who needs the ‘work’ in the relationship? And if it is her, the terminology of the relationship and the associations change. ‘Work’ implies a man better conforming his identity to her ideal relationship, to better fit the feminine-centric reality. And what better way to initiate this than to psychologically condition him to want to embody her ideal – even before he’s ever met a woman or been involved in a relationship?


61 responses to “Appreciation

  • YOHAMI

    You´re right. And it aint pretty.

  • houseofjacques

    I have the nagging feeling there’s a part of the article missing.

  • Roger K PUA (@PickUpSchool)

    Sometimes I wish I had taken the blue pill.

  • Traveller

    Depressing. If there was a motive not to marry, you described it.

    Not only in marriage, the feminist frame is the whole world frame.

    Men die in wars? They are supposed to.

    Men pay taxes for parasite women? They are supposed to.

    Men die in mines? They are supposed to.

    Men renounce to anything amousing but dangeous or unproductive for the state and the female? They are supposed to.

  • G

    Rollo,

    I enjoy your writing. In my case your are preaching to the choir.

    I would love to see make your best case FOR marriage. Not for “…uninformed, pollyanna, shoulda’-saw-it-coming, ONEitis fueled, shame induced, bound for bankruptcy, scarred my children for life, marriage.” But for whatever kind of marriage your consider desirable or acceptable.

    Why would a man with options marry? Why did you marry? I am 29 and am perpetually in relationships with 1-3 beautiful women with a few every now and then women in the mix. Why would I marry?

    I am not being argumentative. I would really love to hear a case for marriage from someone like you. Someone who HAD the options, but CHOSE to marry. Someone who understood what he was getting into, but CHOSE to do it anyway. Someone who sees the matrix so clearly and still marries is intriguing to me.

    And I don’t even mean all the legal implications etc. I am just curious why would a man like you commit to one woman for life, move in with her, etc. Are there some benefits that I am overlooking? Is there some sort of a deep connection that is not possible without that sort of commitment?

    Sadly, you are the only person “in my life” that I can ask this question. All the married people I know in the real world are firmly plugged in. Thanks for your work.

  • G

    One rational argument for marriage I see is that with age even a man’s options diminish to the point where it MIGHT make sense to just marry. But even that is not convincing to me.

    Having children is probably the strongest contender. Is commitment necessary to have to have kids. My knee-jerk reaction is yes, but I need to explore this further, though I have no desire to have children.

  • Good Luck Chuck

    Being a man is a thankless job. If you are looking for praise the only way it is going to come is in the form of women offering you access to their primary asset.

    What makes matters worse for men these days is that on top of the baseline expectations that come with being born with a penis, we are also forced to deal with the modern entitlement complex. And we wonder why women can’t be satisfied.

  • Romantico

    The institution of marriage is predominantly for ensuring that we produce future citizens that are emotionally healthy who will contribute to ensuring prosperity. This requires sacrifice on the part of both men and women.

    The current situation in america does not bode well, 40% of the newborns are born to single mothers. We will see a major impact of this on the economic dominance of US in the next twenty or thirty years. Children who grow up with single moms have crippled self-esteem and carry the emotional burden of abandonment and lack of a father for the rest of their lives. Ever wonder why a quarter of the americans are on anti-depressants.

    Look at the children in schools, ill-mannered, rude, and complete lack of respect for elders. Go to Asia and even in Europe and you will see the difference. Essentially, parental investment in children in US is probably the lowest in the world, and as a result we are producing low quality citizens.

    So if you care about the future of US, then have children(with or without marriage), but keep the family intact and invest and instill good values in the them. Civilizations are built or destroyed based on the quality of its future citizens. It is your call.

  • ampontan

    Not original, but germane and very true.

    Men want the woman they marry to stay the same and never change, but that doesn’t happen.

    Women want to change the man they marry (the “fixer-upper”), but that doesn’t happen either.

  • unbowed

    A woman will love you for what you do, not who you are.

  • YOHAMI

    A woman will love you for how you make her feel. And by that I mean she´ll infatuate with herself because of how she feels, and with you by extension.

  • Good Luck Chuck

    That’s the best description of female to male love I have hear yet.

    The bad part about this is that her “love” is conditional and transient.

    The good part is that if you understand female psychology this can easily be manipulated.

  • G

    Romantico,

    You truly live up to your name :)

  • Bionicle

    “You sacrificed your ambitions and potential to provide her with a better life? You were supposed to.”

    I think a good case can be made for women being expected to do this much more than men. Yes, marriage takes sacrifice for everyone involved– but are you actually making the argument that it is much harder for men somehow? The other option is to simply not marry– do you know how hard it is to decide not to marry if you’re a woman? It is expected of you if you’re a woman– and little else that you do in your life will be judged in the same way.

    I think some of what you write on this blog is very interesting. But it seems like the bulk of it is saying that everything is harder for men, which I cannot agree with. I can see the many ways in which being a man is tough and I don’t really want to go into an argument over who has it harder because in reality, nobody is just their gender.

    But if you want to get political about it, for the vast majority of issues you talk about on this blog, the flip side for women is usually much worse. Not always– things like custody battles tend to go better for women in our society. But for most things– being a man allows you much more freedom. With this freedom, there is also more pain. That is something women are starting to learn now– some (but not all) of the ‘complaining’ is due to the realization that freedom is not equivalent to happiness.

    What you are doing on this site is the men’s version of what the ‘complaining’ feminists do– they give a voice to some of the frustrating aspects of living in a gendered society. However, for women, this is often more than mere frustrations with dating or marriage– for them, things like domestic violence, rape, and general abuse cloud other issues. In comparison, your complaints about not being appreciated enough seem really– well– small. It doesn’t mean they are not legitimate or that there is no use talking about it. Gender relations are up in the air in our society right now—this needs to be discussed. But the way in which you do it—maybe as men we haven’t learned to complain well yet.

  • Bionicle

    Transient love is still love– no worse than any other. The root of the idea that love is eternal and unconditional is the Christian monogamy ideal. I though we had dismissed that a long time ago– and yet, here we are.

  • Mr. Perfect «

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  • thesecond

    I partially disagree. Older women and women with children are well known for appreciating men. They are desperate and give up sex and gifts a lot. It’s all very well saying that women are too stupid to realize what men are doing for them but older women and women with children face the reality of it, in that few men want them. It’s hard to argue with reality when you’re alone and no one loves you.

    While they may want to be taken care of despite offering little, reality says no. But with other women who have won the prize of marriage, yes I agree. They tend to stop appreciating men.

  • The Rush «

    [...] holds back and discreetly pulls up stakes, does it have the same impact? Would she genuinely appreciate the gesture? How would she ever know that he could’ve resorted to publicly humiliating her [...]

  • somboed

    Where have you been? Unicorns and unconditional love, and princess weddings and white knights are as much of the female lexicon today as they ever were.

  • Setting the Rules «

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  • Emma the Emo

    I think people expect too much excitement in their relationships, and sometimes friendships too. But after a while, a relationship might reach a flatline of happiness (no significant ups or downs), and it’s nothing to worry about. For me at least, the answer to “Now what?” is “just do more things you like”. The relationship is working (if it’s not broken, don’t fix it), but only if your partner is likewise isn’t bothered by this flatline.

    Another thing… You said men’s sacrifices are rarely appreciated. You mentioned giving up ambitions to provide for her, and resisting the urge to cheat. I would say those two are a bit different. Giving up ambitions is a sacrifice and doesn’t feel to me like something a man is supposed to do. But with cheating… If you have a trusted employee, do you actively appreciate it when they fail to steal your cash every day? Maybe if most employees you could get were thieves… I don’t think it’s a strictly female problem. It’s something people in general do. The better person you are, the less you are appreciated for doing the bare minimum of effort to be a good person. Also, if everyone else is providing the same loyalty, then it’s expected rather than appreciated.

  • alex

    bit late but I agree on the appreciation piece they never see what you do or have done – unless you make a point of mentioning it and then you end up in a world of hurt. ( irrespective whether the woman has kids or not )

  • pinkgothic

    I suppose I’m not the demographic you’re trying to reach with this, being a masculist female (unheard of! right?), but I’d like to both disagree and then agree with this piece. It’s a bit of a ramble, and half an ode, so you don’t need to read it, but I felt I had to write it.

    Disagree:

    I am very, very aware of the sacrifices my boyfriend makes. I try to minimise them. We both work, we split finances 50/50 even though he earns more than I do (but we both work the same hours, at the same company, comparable position, just with different work experience (which, yes, is the only reason for the wage difference – I am NOT being discriminated against, I assure you)), we split chores and I try to err on the side of doing more of them if it’s unclear where the tally lies though I suspect that probably just keeps it at 50/50 (subjectivity and all).

    He inconveniences me by not fucking me anymore (yes, seriously; I’m the woman, he’s the guy; we stereotype-flip a lot (he loves shopping for clothes, I hate it; he’s the vain one, I take five minutes in the morning to get ready and wear my trousers repeatedly; he loves movies with sappy happy endings… it goes on! He does love cars, though, and I don’t)), I inconvenience him by carpooling with him to work and dictating when we go there on some days (he likes to go to work late and leave later, I’d rather early for both). I try to limit this to the days I actually have an early morning meeting. I also try not to pester him about sex (which is a difficult line to tread if I at the same time want him to be aware that he’s super handsome and sexy); he has enough things draining energy out of him already.

    Agree:

    Relationships definitely aren’t work. I am horrified that “Relationships are work” is even a meme – I hadn’t heard it with any frequency before. I try to explain to people that if you’re asked to “work on your attitude so the relationship can function!” and similar things… – as much as it hurts to realise, you may well be in the wrong relationship. Some clashing is to be expected, but if you are continually the problem (even just in subtext!), then the relationship is the problem. Finding someone who does appreciate you (and this goes both ways) is difficult if you have expectations. I went into my relationship with close to none at all. I pictured, very early on in my life, the idea that I might end up with a fat boyfriend who loafs around on the couch, drinks beer and watches soccer, the most boring (some might say worst – but read on) sort of male stereotype there is. I pictured this and I pictured it long enough to actually enjoy it. I pictured it long enough to appreciate what it might mean to the person in that picture.

    Then I found my boyfriend. That man is so awesome. He doesn’t even realise it! I try to tell him as often as I can that he’s handsome, he still pushes my buttons, he’s extremely intelligent and his humour is fantastic. He loves his job. He gets really enthusiastic about things and it infects me. He makes me smile so much. I don’t really know how I managed to get my hands on him, but I encourage him to look for other women (or men, but that’s not his thing) if I’m not his sexual profile any more and life polyamourously as I do with my girlfriend (long-distance, unfortunately). He’s truly monogamous, though.

    We’ve been together for nine years. I can no longer see us ever parting ways. We respect each other too much, too deeply, too absolutely. But we will never marry… because I am not a fan of the possession it implies to people.

    My boyfriend is free. And so I am.

    And from my perspective… that’s how it ought to be. And I think it solves a lot of issues.

    (FYI, despite the ode, I would not[!] call my relationship a standard romantic one. There are no cande-light dinners. There are no sappiness competitions. I’d throw the flowers in his face if he tried to go Valentine on me. I’ll shriek if he brings me a ring because OH MY GOD WHY DID YOU SPEND YOUR MONEY ON A TINY SHINY ROCK YOU DIMWIT. Fortunately he has no such inclinations.)

    (BTW, please don’t misunderstand, the people who want romance and standard monogamy are more than entitled to it. There’s nothing wrong with either; it’s fantastic if it works for you! It’s just not for me. Note: I do believe mutually agreed on relationship rules are a paramount – polyamourous people have them, too, they’re just different. We do still have cheating, it means fucking someone else… and then pretending you didn’t. And yes, we also still break up for all the dumb reasons under the sun.)

    Man, I feel dirty for all those disclaimers. I am way too scared of the interwebs. :/ Why do people even let me have it… *shakes head*

  • R4M

    To paraphrase Shannon: “They’re like slot machines that sometimes pay out, but never close to the full sum you put in. If you decide it’s not worth it and leave, there’ll always be another sucker ready to crank the handle.”

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  • PS

    except that “complaining” about reality is not the goal of this website. the goal is to understand reality, in order to best adapt to it. in contrast to feminists, there is no attempt here to shame women into acting differently. that would be pointless, and the truth is we like women as they are, flaws and all. the point of this particular post is that we CANNOT complain or shame shame women in our lives about appreciation, and nor should we try.

    as men, we mainly want to understand reality and apply our knowledge, not engage in feminist politicking.

  • J.M.

    What world do you live in? “for them, (women) things like domestic violence, rape, and general abuse cloud other issues In comparison, your complaints about not being appreciated enough seem really– well– small. ”

    I cannot tell if you are woman or not, but brainwashed you are. Anyone with eyes to see and an open mind would admit that men, the common men not the elite, the überrich and pop stars have it much worse than your average woman (from life expectancy to performance in the sexual market place, as well as in the job market in certain developed countries). Fortunately our destiny in the SMP and the world is not only determined by our looks and that’s why game existst. I thank God for the existence of sites like this because they are truthful and recognize the reality, let us analyse the facts and apply the newly acquired knowledge for the betterment of our lives even though I don’t agree with all the opinions of the author of this blog.

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  • xclampa

    :) depends on the kind of woman you meet…

    Not all women are bitchy, needful lumps of emotions. Some of them make incredible partners and companions for life.

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  • s0nicfreak

    The not cheating thing is much harder for women, in that (in general) they have many more opportunities. For example when I go to the grocery store, or a quick trip to Dunkin Donuts, there is at least one, sometimes as many as 10 (if I go to the grocery store on a busy day) guys trying to talk to me, that would be completely willing to go into the bathroom and have sex with me. These guys range from hot teenagers to old men that aren’t much to look at but appear to be financially secure. But I don’t do it because “I’m not suppose to”, because my husband expects me to not just as I expect him to not do one of the ugly chicks he works with (hot young secretaries are not as common as one would think, I encounter many more hot people as a stay-at-home mom than my husband does at work, and than I did when I worked), and mainly because I don’t want to and would rather go home and fuck my husband – if I were to fuck one of those other guys and divorce, sure I would get half his stuff, but I’d rather have him there to fuck.

    And I’m not young and pristine, I am nearly 30 and have 4 kids, 2 I gave birth to and 2 from my husband’s previous marriage (which I am “expected to” take care of as well, but that’s okay, because 1. I love them the same as the two I gave birth to and 2. I knew that was a condition of being with my husband, and I’m willing to do that to be with him). The number of guys hitting on me does not go down based on how many kids I have with me at the time. I don’t know any woman that would go up to a man that is getting 3 kids out of car seats, while waiting for a slightly older one to go grab a shopping cart, and ask for his number. I have never seen that happen. (Maybe that is because women generally hunt of money rather than for sex, and know a guy with 4 kids isn’t going to have money to dote on a woman?) Yet I am surprised by men doing it to me all the time. I know the “meme” is that guys don’t want women that have kids or are over 25, but it just isn’t true.

    Women are also “suppose to” sacrifice their bodies to birth kids, and many are expected to give up their careers to raise those kids. And then supposedly they are used up and no men wants them, so they can’t get a job, they can’t get a man – what are they suppose to do then? They are “suppose to” give up sex for a guy that spends money on dates with them, yet they are “suppose to” not be a slut so that they can find a husband. Yes women do have it much easier than men in today’s society, but the list of life-changing sacrifices that women are “suppose to” do is just as long as it is for men, and just as unappreciated.

    A good relationship would have both people are making sacrifices and the other appreciating those sacrifices. If that is not the common way things go nowadays, this is just as much the fault of men for giving in to spoiled women as it is the women for being spoiled like this. Little girls see their fathers giving in to their mothers, see that relationship where the man is just there to give the women the money, house etc. she wants, so grow up to expect the same, and find many guys ready and willing to do the same. If men pass those spoiled women up and wait until they find one of the less common women that are willing to sacrifice, that actually want to be with someone they love and want to fuck, the spoiled women will start to die out.

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  • aislinnblowkisses

    I find your arguments to be mostly valid, because as a woman, I do see much of the many issues you pointed out, women complaining so much about an ideal version of men, women being opportunistic lovers, being incapapble of appreciation. However, you as a man, have failed to see that this not a gender issue, so much as a patriarchy issue.

    Yes, women, having been present for the establishment of this society, have had many failings in the realm of men, dealing with men, raising men, and loving men. We have not failed because we are women, sir, or as a result of feminism, we are struggling and making only the slightest headway, as a result of a patriarchal system that itself idealizes men, forces us to idealize men, and at the same time, shows men in their most unfavorable, inhumane light. A system that tells men they are successful simply for existing on this planet, is a pretty bad precedent to set for the women who physically put you here. Secondly, because women have put you here with their physical bodies, make love to you in order to produce more of you, it’s obvious that women already come with an inherent ideal of you. Of course we want you to be intelligent and strong, and worthy of our love, but how does one express appreciation to a man who is already filled with his own sense of entitlement, by default?

    “Men making the personal sacrifices necessary to honor, respect and love her are commonplace. You’re supposed to do those things. You sacrificed your ambitions and potential to provide her with a better life? You were supposed to. You resisted temptation and didn’t cheat on your wife with the hot secretary who was DTF and ready to go? You were supposed to. Your responsibilities to maintaining a marriage, a home, your family, etc. are common – they’re expected. They are only appreciated in their absence.”

    None of these ideals were technically set out by a group of women, though possibly propagated by women as we began to realize where our powers lie, namely in sex and home life. Women, as a result of patriarchy, have neccessarily had to make the sacrifice of their feminine selves to get ahead, taking on traditionally “male” roles to do those things. You made a claim that women are always operating from their feminine core, however, you’d be wrong. How does a woman operate from a core that’s being constantly shat on, told it’s not good enough, told it’s trivial and wasteful, parasitic, and worse, only as good as the vagina it’s attached to? Are you serious? Women didn’t ask men to sacrifice their goals,ambitions, and potential. Making that kind of sacrifice would mean sacrificing your very self as a man, and that’s exactly what men did. The sacrifice of going to work to make everyone financially secure is NOT a struggle women can’t appreciate. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that women MORE than appreciate that particular sacrifice, but are failing to see that the larger sacrifice has been exactly what you pointed out. Potential and ambition, which is not the fault of women, it’s the fault of men for being that ridiculously ignorant. If you don’t cheat on your wife, it’s not because you’re not supposed to. It’s because women falsely believe they own their husbands, because we live in a wolrd that explicitly states that we are owned BY you. Since you have the privelege of falsely believing that you own our genitalia, by virtue of a measley piece of paper, how do you not expect women to want you to be even MORE faithful? Of course she doesn’t WANT you to cheat on her, but most women are never so upset by the act of sex, as the fact that men are notoriously dishonest when it happens. Again, your ideas of how women think are terribly skewed, and if after 15 years of marriage these are still your conclusions, you’re really not a mature man at all.

    You made the point that women are opportunistic. Really? You don’t say? In a world that explicitly defines a woman’s worth by the man she’s attached to, you’d think women would take all the time in the world to find one, right? Well, not if your financial and social security depend on it! You are absolutely correct sir, women tend to be opportunistic, because we HAVE to be if we want our lives to be easier. Yes, the result may be 15 years of a marriage that ends in a terrible blog about a gender I know nothing about, however, the fact remains that you are addressing issues that are the result of a very real system that’s been in place for a very long time. Blaming women and propagating the idea that women will never be capable of fully appreciating men is THE MOST damaging, ignorant pack of bullshit you could possibly spread. Not only that, I’m 26 years old, happily married to a great man, and I must tell you, yeah, we worked, A LOT for this relationship. Saying that the relationship takes work is not a myth, you imbecile. Did you make it 15 years by magic and your penis? I thought not.

    And it seems that you still have not acheived the spiritual or even mental maturity we’re trying to get you to cultivate. You know why men usually need the most work in relationships? Because they need the most emotional work, period. That’s really kind of a big duh. Women are generally mature because we have to learn to be both men and women in a world that wants us to be both and neither. Every standard that is in place for women, was put there by patriarchy, every standard placed on men by women is there because you’re all still failing miserably to be the men you THINK you are, but clearly aren’t mature enough to be in real life.

  • Dan

    aislinblowkisses….

    You are the definition of female solipsism.

  • Andre

    “Saying that the relationship takes work is not a myth, you imbecile. … You know why men usually need the most work in relationships? Because they need the most emotional work, period. … Every standard that is in place for women, was put there by patriarchy, every standard placed on men by women is there because you’re all still failing miserably to be the men you THINK you are, but clearly aren’t mature enough to be in real life.”

    Rolling… on… the… floor… laughing.

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