Appreciation

I’ve had a fantastic marriage for over 15 years now, but I’m not going to sugar coat the facts that marriage involves life changing sacrifices for men that no woman will ever fully understand or appreciate. I’m not anti-marriage. I’m anti- uninformed, pollyanna, shoulda’-saw-it-coming, ONEitis fueled, shame induced, bound for bankruptcy, scarred my children for life, marriage.

A woman loves you when she takes you for granted. That sounds odd I know, but it’s when she’s not fawning all over you and you’re in your 10th year of marriage and it’s just part of everyday conversation. “OK, love you, bye” is at the end of every phone call. You’re not thinking about it, because you don’t need to. If you’re asking the question “how do you know when she loves you?” You’re not in it. It’s only when that familiarity and regular comfort is removed that she can appreciate it. Once the commonness of love is established women will only rarely express it overtly – in fact the expression will be what’s expected of you – so you have to look for it covertly.

All the flowery crap you read in your Hallmark card on Valentines Day or your Anniversary was written by someone else. And while it’s nice to have these gestures of appreciation occasionally, it’s more important to see the forest for the trees. It’s not individual acts of affection or appreciation so much as it is the whole of what you both do on a regular day-to-day basis. It’s what you and she are all about after your three hundredth bowl of oatmeal together on a Saturday morning and your kids are fighting for control of the TV remote while you’re sitting across the breakfast table discussing which bills need to be paid first this month and how bad the lawn needs mowing that defines love and marriage. Yes, precisely the things you’ll never think about when you’re sarging her or considering moving her up in your plate spinning line up.

This is what marriage is; not necessarily boring per se (although it certainly can be more often than not), but ordinary. It’s normal, common, or becomes so. Think about how many people who’ve lived, married and died on planet earth who did exactly the same things as you. That’s the real test of marriage that no one who hasn’t experienced it can really relate in any meaningful sense. The happy, Oprah-ized idea is that you have to “keep it fresh”, but even after a night of freshening it up and the Wal-Mart lingerie is in the clothes hamper, and you pick up the kids from spending the night at her sisters house the morning after, you go back to the day-to-day marriage you’ve always had. This is the shit no one tells you about when you’re being sold on the Marriage Goal – the “now what?” feeling that comes directly after you’ve found the ONE you’ve been looking for, or “did the right thing” with and married because she suddenly rediscovered religion AFTER you’d had marathon sex with her for 3 months straight and wouldn’t abort the pregnancy (and no, that didn’t happen to me).

Appreciation

I think what most men uniquely deceive themselves of is that they will ultimately be appreciated by women for their sacrifices. Learn this now, you wont. You can’t be because women fundamentally lack the ability to fully realize, much less appreciate the sacrifices a man makes to facilitate her reality. Even the most enlightened, appreciative woman you know still operates in a feminne-centric reality. Men making the personal sacrifices necessary to honor, respect and love her are commonplace. You’re supposed to do those things. You sacrificed your ambitions and potential to provide her with a better life? You were supposed to. You resisted temptation and didn’t cheat on your wife with the hot secretary who was DTF and ready to go? You were supposed to. Your responsibilities to maintaining a marriage, a home, your family, etc. are common – they’re expected. They are only appreciated in their absence.

This is the totality of the feminine-centric reality. Men only exist to facilitate the feminine reality, and any man who disputes this (or even analyzes its aspects) is therefore not a ‘man’. It just IS. Even the most self-serving, maverick among men is still beholden to the feminine imperative in that he’s only defined as a rebel because he doesn’t comply with the common practices of ‘men’ in a female defined reality. And ironically it’s just this maverick who is appreciated by the feminine above those men who would comply with it (or even promote it)  as a matter of course.

The concept of appreciation really dovetails into a lot of other aspects of intergender relations.

For instance in The Mature Man thread; assume for a moment that a 40 y.o. Man with the options to pursue younger women “does the right thing” and seeks out a relationship with a woman his own age. Would he be appreciated for essentially giving an aged woman a new lease on life? Or would he be viewed as doing what is to be expected of him?

Would a man who marries a single mother and helps with the parental investment of another man’s child be appreciated more for having done so? Would it even factor into a woman’s estimation of his character, or would he simply doing what’s expected of a man?  The question of appreciation is a real quandary for the White Knight.

Relationships aren’t work.

Familiarity does in fact breed contempt,..and mediocrity, and routine, and banality, and commonness,.. which is why so many marriages end up in the shit can. Men and women give up on themselves.

The “Relationships are work” meme is a Social Convention. How often do you hear men say these words? This has filtered into popular consciousness even with men now. For the LTR men who subscribe to this I’d also speculate that many of them are in relationships where THEY are “doing the work” for the women who are giving them the ‘grade’ so to speak. And of the single men who subscribe to this mythology, each had to be conditioned to believe this is the case in LTRs by women. This is rooted in the mistaken belief that men’s actions and sacrifices can ever be appreciated by women.

What would the best method be to get a man to live up to the idealizations a woman has as her perfect mate (however twisted and convoluted this may have been defined for her)? Women love the ‘fixer upper’. “He’d be such a great guy if only he would, _____” or she’ll say “I’m working on him.” It’s when the conditioning goes from “I’m working on him” to “We’re working on our relationship” that he has now internalized her frame control. This is where the mythology of Relationships-as-Work is derived from. How often is it the woman who needs the ‘work’ in the relationship? And if it is her, the terminology of the relationship and the associations change. ‘Work’ implies a man better conforming his identity to her ideal relationship, to better fit the feminine-centric reality. And what better way to initiate this than to psychologically condition him to want to embody her ideal – even before he’s ever met a woman or been involved in a relationship?

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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YOHAMI
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YOHAMI
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You´re right. And it aint pretty.

houseofjacques
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I have the nagging feeling there’s a part of the article missing.

Roger K PUA (@PickUpSchool)
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Sometimes I wish I had taken the blue pill.

Traveller
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Depressing. If there was a motive not to marry, you described it.

Not only in marriage, the feminist frame is the whole world frame.

Men die in wars? They are supposed to.

Men pay taxes for parasite women? They are supposed to.

Men die in mines? They are supposed to.

Men renounce to anything amousing but dangeous or unproductive for the state and the female? They are supposed to.

G
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G
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Rollo, I enjoy your writing. In my case your are preaching to the choir. I would love to see make your best case FOR marriage. Not for “…uninformed, pollyanna, shoulda’-saw-it-coming, ONEitis fueled, shame induced, bound for bankruptcy, scarred my children for life, marriage.” But for whatever kind of marriage your consider desirable or acceptable. Why would a man with options marry? Why did you marry? I am 29 and am perpetually in relationships with 1-3 beautiful women with a few every now and then women in the mix. Why would I marry? I am not being argumentative. I would really… Read more »

G
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G
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One rational argument for marriage I see is that with age even a man’s options diminish to the point where it MIGHT make sense to just marry. But even that is not convincing to me.

Having children is probably the strongest contender. Is commitment necessary to have to have kids. My knee-jerk reaction is yes, but I need to explore this further, though I have no desire to have children.

Good Luck Chuck
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Being a man is a thankless job. If you are looking for praise the only way it is going to come is in the form of women offering you access to their primary asset.

What makes matters worse for men these days is that on top of the baseline expectations that come with being born with a penis, we are also forced to deal with the modern entitlement complex. And we wonder why women can’t be satisfied.

Romantico
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The institution of marriage is predominantly for ensuring that we produce future citizens that are emotionally healthy who will contribute to ensuring prosperity. This requires sacrifice on the part of both men and women. The current situation in america does not bode well, 40% of the newborns are born to single mothers. We will see a major impact of this on the economic dominance of US in the next twenty or thirty years. Children who grow up with single moms have crippled self-esteem and carry the emotional burden of abandonment and lack of a father for the rest of their… Read more »

ampontan
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ampontan
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Not original, but germane and very true.

Men want the woman they marry to stay the same and never change, but that doesn’t happen.

Women want to change the man they marry (the “fixer-upper”), but that doesn’t happen either.

unbowed
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unbowed
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A woman will love you for what you do, not who you are.

YOHAMI
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YOHAMI
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A woman will love you for how you make her feel. And by that I mean she´ll infatuate with herself because of how she feels, and with you by extension.

Good Luck Chuck
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Good Luck Chuck
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That’s the best description of female to male love I have hear yet.

The bad part about this is that her “love” is conditional and transient.

The good part is that if you understand female psychology this can easily be manipulated.

G
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G
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Romantico,

You truly live up to your name smile

Bionicle
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“You sacrificed your ambitions and potential to provide her with a better life? You were supposed to.” I think a good case can be made for women being expected to do this much more than men. Yes, marriage takes sacrifice for everyone involved– but are you actually making the argument that it is much harder for men somehow? The other option is to simply not marry– do you know how hard it is to decide not to marry if you’re a woman? It is expected of you if you’re a woman– and little else that you do in your life… Read more »

Bionicle
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Transient love is still love– no worse than any other. The root of the idea that love is eternal and unconditional is the Christian monogamy ideal. I though we had dismissed that a long time ago– and yet, here we are.

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[…] I’ve written in prior posts, women will never substantively appreciate the efforts a man makes to facilitate her reality. A […]

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[…] the same respect that women cannot appreciate the sacrifices men are expected to make in order to facilitate their imperatives, women can’t actualize how a man would have himself […]

thesecond
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I partially disagree. Older women and women with children are well known for appreciating men. They are desperate and give up sex and gifts a lot. It’s all very well saying that women are too stupid to realize what men are doing for them but older women and women with children face the reality of it, in that few men want them. It’s hard to argue with reality when you’re alone and no one loves you. While they may want to be taken care of despite offering little, reality says no. But with other women who have won the prize… Read more »

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[…] holds back and discreetly pulls up stakes, does it have the same impact? Would she genuinely appreciate the gesture? How would she ever know that he could’ve resorted to publicly humiliating her […]

somboed
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somboed
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Where have you been? Unicorns and unconditional love, and princess weddings and white knights are as much of the female lexicon today as they ever were.

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[…] not to say you’re a callous inconsiderate asshole, just that your sacrifice (which will never be appreciated in girl-world) for commitment demands that you be the primary partner. Consider the magnanimity of […]

Emma the Emo
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I think people expect too much excitement in their relationships, and sometimes friendships too. But after a while, a relationship might reach a flatline of happiness (no significant ups or downs), and it’s nothing to worry about. For me at least, the answer to “Now what?” is “just do more things you like”. The relationship is working (if it’s not broken, don’t fix it), but only if your partner is likewise isn’t bothered by this flatline. Another thing… You said men’s sacrifices are rarely appreciated. You mentioned giving up ambitions to provide for her, and resisting the urge to cheat.… Read more »

alex
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alex
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bit late but I agree on the appreciation piece they never see what you do or have done – unless you make a point of mentioning it and then you end up in a world of hurt. ( irrespective whether the woman has kids or not )

pinkgothic
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I suppose I’m not the demographic you’re trying to reach with this, being a masculist female (unheard of! right?), but I’d like to both disagree and then agree with this piece. It’s a bit of a ramble, and half an ode, so you don’t need to read it, but I felt I had to write it. Disagree: I am very, very aware of the sacrifices my boyfriend makes. I try to minimise them. We both work, we split finances 50/50 even though he earns more than I do (but we both work the same hours, at the same company, comparable… Read more »

R4M
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To paraphrase Shannon: “They’re like slot machines that sometimes pay out, but never close to the full sum you put in. If you decide it’s not worth it and leave, there’ll always be another sucker ready to crank the handle.”

Rollo Tomassi
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shajustice
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shajustice
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deep and so true !

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[…] even through a blurry haze I can tell this guy is kind of a toolbag. Here’s The Rational Male on why the ladies totally don’t appreciate all that dudes do for them, like for example, not having sex with other ladies when they totally probably could have. I think […]

PS
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except that “complaining” about reality is not the goal of this website. the goal is to understand reality, in order to best adapt to it. in contrast to feminists, there is no attempt here to shame women into acting differently. that would be pointless, and the truth is we like women as they are, flaws and all. the point of this particular post is that we CANNOT complain or shame shame women in our lives about appreciation, and nor should we try. as men, we mainly want to understand reality and apply our knowledge, not engage in feminist politicking. Loading...

J.M.
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J.M.
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What world do you live in? “for them, (women) things like domestic violence, rape, and general abuse cloud other issues In comparison, your complaints about not being appreciated enough seem really– well– small. ” I cannot tell if you are woman or not, but brainwashed you are. Anyone with eyes to see and an open mind would admit that men, the common men not the elite, the überrich and pop stars have it much worse than your average woman (from life expectancy to performance in the sexual market place, as well as in the job market in certain developed countries).… Read more »

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[…] rollo’s blog. A woman will love you for how you make her feel. And by that I mean she´ll infatuate with […]

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Sexy «
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[…] the same sense that women lack the capacity to truly appreciate the sacrifices a man must make to ensure her reality, most women also lack a fundamental understanding of the male sexual impulse. […]

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[…] plays to an individual guy’s strengths, and women who can’t appreciate them (i.e. all of them) are relegated to being less-than quality women. Sour grapes are sour, but deductively it makes […]

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[…] sure if I rock the boat” scarcity mentality was more powerful than recognizing a deficit in appreciation from their wives for the life-sacrifices they made in order to keep the peace and ensure a steady […]

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[…] sexual availability? Yes, of course, just as Men’s intrinsic value ought to be more broadly appreciated for the qualities of his character and the sacrifices he makes to facilitate a woman’s […]

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[…] Is this person deserving of what I provide? Women will NEVER, even in the best of marriages, fully appreciate the sacrifices a man has to make in order to fulfill his commitment of marriage. Entering into a […]

xclampa
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xclampa
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smile depends on the kind of woman you meet…

Not all women are bitchy, needful lumps of emotions. Some of them make incredible partners and companions for life.

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[…] also written volumes about the all-risk proposition of marriage for men, and women’s utter inability to appreciate the all-risk sacrifices men assume in committing to marriage. So it should be obvious that under […]

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[…] Appreciation […]

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[…] the most enlightened, appreciative woman you know still operates in a feminine-centric reality. http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2011/11/14/appreciation/ I think what most men uniquely deceive themselves of is that they will ultimately be appreciated by […]

s0nicfreak
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The not cheating thing is much harder for women, in that (in general) they have many more opportunities. For example when I go to the grocery store, or a quick trip to Dunkin Donuts, there is at least one, sometimes as many as 10 (if I go to the grocery store on a busy day) guys trying to talk to me, that would be completely willing to go into the bathroom and have sex with me. These guys range from hot teenagers to old men that aren’t much to look at but appear to be financially secure. But I don’t… Read more »

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All In «
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[…] For young idealistic betas, the fairytale scenario of marrying the ‘girl of your dreams’ out of high school (college?) seems perfect. If you need a musical example of this, listen to any Taylor Swift song or ‘Hey there Delilah’ by the Plain White T’s. The idea of only ever having sex with that one special girl, that “genetic celebrity”, only reinforces the fantasy for a young beta who’s never gotten laid before. At 17-19 this seems like conviction, but 37 years later, and after realizing his true SMV it’s a liability; it’s a sacrifice that cannot be appreciated. […]

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[…] like I’ve done everything anyone ever expected of me for the past 10-15 years and I get no appreciation for it.” These guys “did the right thing” and either their wive’s were […]

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[…] a better man than dad I’ll be deserving of love the way I envision it, I’ll be appreciated and hypergamy will be inconsequential due to the equity I’ll invest in our […]

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[…] anything, it’s in their ego-investment in the lie that any woman might have the capacity to appreciate his investments in them. That rage isn’t about the disappointment of not getting an expected […]

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[…] [Appreciation] […]

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[…] [Appreciation] […]

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[…] I think what most men uniquely deceive themselves of is that they will ultimately be appreciated by women for their sacrifices. Learn this now, you wont. You can’t be because women fundamentally lack the ability to fully realize, much less appreciate the sacrifices a man makes to facilitate her reality. Even the most enlightened, appreciative woman you know still operates in a feminne-centric reality. Men making the personal sacrifices necessary to honor, respect and love her are commonplace. You’re supposed to do those things. You sacrificed your ambitions and potential to provide her with a better life? You were… Read more »

trackback

[…] I think what most men uniquely deceive themselves of is that they will ultimately be appreciated by women for their sacrifices. Learn this now, you wont. You can’t be because women fundamentally lack the ability to fully realize, much less appreciate the sacrifices a man makes to facilitate her reality. Even the most enlightened, appreciative woman you know still operates in a feminne-centric reality. Men making the personal sacrifices necessary to honor, respect and love her are commonplace. You’re supposed to do those things. You sacrificed your ambitions and potential to provide her with a better life? You were… Read more »

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[…] who are more well off than others, but the dynamic is real. I’ve written in the past that women fundamentally lack the capacity to appreciate the sacrifices Men must make to facilitate their feminine reality, but if they ever come close to […]

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[…] to maintain his secure attachment to her in the face of an obvious SMV imbalance. As I’ve covered before, women fundamentally lack the capacity to appreciate the sacrifices men make to facilitate […]

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[…] the experiences I’ve had, life has taught me the value of compromise. Women fundamentally lack the capacity to appreciate the sacrifices a man must make to facilitate a feminine reality, but if there’s one thing […]

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[…] So you don’t really love him, you just like what he can do for you a whole lot.  You are not, however, aware of the fact that you like what he can do for you.  Even though both men and women have prefrontal cortices where our responses to emotions are regulated, you ladies can’t even understand love and loyalty.  Rollo explains: […]

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[…] who read my Appreciation essay and try to wrap their heads around my assertion that women will never appreciate the […]

aislinnblowkisses
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I find your arguments to be mostly valid, because as a woman, I do see much of the many issues you pointed out, women complaining so much about an ideal version of men, women being opportunistic lovers, being incapapble of appreciation. However, you as a man, have failed to see that this not a gender issue, so much as a patriarchy issue. Yes, women, having been present for the establishment of this society, have had many failings in the realm of men, dealing with men, raising men, and loving men. We have not failed because we are women, sir, or… Read more »

Dan
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Dan
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aislinblowkisses….

You are the definition of female solipsism.

Andre
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“Saying that the relationship takes work is not a myth, you imbecile. … You know why men usually need the most work in relationships? Because they need the most emotional work, period. … Every standard that is in place for women, was put there by patriarchy, every standard placed on men by women is there because you’re all still failing miserably to be the men you THINK you are, but clearly aren’t mature enough to be in real life.”

Rolling… on… the… floor… laughing.

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[…] one of the cosmic ironies of the universe that women should completely lack the capacity to truly appreciate the niceties of men – yet still perpetually claim to desire those […]

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[…] Appreciation I went into detail about how women fundamentally lack the capacity to appreciate the sacrifices men […]

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[…] to the feminine is sold as “support” and deserving of praise and a reciprocal appreciation (which never manifests in women). Beta is Alpha and Alpha is insecurity, bluster and […]

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[…] et compromis au féminin est vendu comme un «soutien» digne d’éloges et une appréciation réciproque (qui ne se manifeste pas chez les femmes). Beta est l’Alpha et l’Alpha est […]

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[…] maturity and help them better identify with the women they mistakenly believe have a capacity to appreciate […]

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[…] to show the women they love that they appreciate them. However, these gestures are often not appreciated. Often they are expected. This is the gynocentric sense of entitlement that women are afflicted […]

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Mutiny |
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[…] self-styled magnanimity, this compromise only reflects your Blue Pill equalist hope that she will genuinely appreciate the sacrifices you make in considering her Frame. The dominant Frame (hopefully yours) is what matters. While a […]

anon
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anon
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Bionical’s comment is retarded. As a woman, she cannot understand that “custody battles” are always more painful for the man because while the woman only cares about her own feelings, the man is concerned about the welfare OF THE CHILDREN. That is the burden of a good man.

Atticus
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Rollo takes the dying man out and he wouldn’t have fun… “All he could talk about was his resentment of his wife’s treatment of him “after all he’d done for her over the years”. For me, that was the hardest part of internalizing the red pill. I’ve read Rollo’s “Appreciation” post at least ten times. Even more than the way woman love (or don’t love), that fundamental inability to appreciate the endless, tedious, little shit things we do is what drove me nuts. It seems totally opposite to basic humanity; how difficult is a heart felt “Thank you, I appreciate… Read more »

Alexis
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How do men want to be shown women appreciate them?? Whether it be a neighbor offering to help me move furniture or a boyfriend buying used tires on EBay for me, I always thanked them, told them how much their help was appreciated, offered to pay them, etc. However, if I realized we just were not a good match and tried to end a relationship before getting in too deep or didn’t respond in a way a neighbor, etc expected, the guy would ALWAYS throw it up in my face about “how much he did for me.” It makes me… Read more »

s0nicfreak
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@Alexis Men, being humans, are individuals. They want appreciation expressed in different ways. It’s obvious your neighbor wants it expressed via sex, while your boyfriends seem to have wanted long-term commitment (with whatever that included for each man). But something that is pretty much universal is that they don’t want to be taken advantage of; and though you’re probably not setting out to do this, it’s what you are doing if you are accepting favors and gifts and not giving them what they want in return. Offering them money when they’re expecting sex, love, commitment, etc. is like a man… Read more »

Alexis
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Alexis
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Thanks so much for the reply. If you don’t mind, I would like to delve a little deeper into the subject and get more specific examples as to what to say to a man to get him to honestly open up and tell me what he wants/expects and how to show appreciation to a man who isn’t a boyfriend, whether he be a coworker, neighbor, etc and offers help in some way. If he says I don’t need to pay him, then should I just refuse the help assuming he wants sex or can you give me a good example… Read more »

deathsdoorprods
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” I thanked him profusely for the tires at the time, but when the relationship ended he brought up anything he had done for me (I have never asked a man to buy me anything) and threw it in my face.” Well, the relationship ended and you still had the tires (and whatever else he’d given and done for you). All he had was a wasted 2 years. It’s understandable he’d be upset about that, even though you didn’t ask for the tires. It seems to me like that neighbor wanted friendship from someone that wasn’t a risk of trying… Read more »

Rainhard Fendrich
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Rainhard Fendrich
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That’s good advice, thank you. I knew those “dating coaches” were full of it. It’s better to get the real truth from a man! I’ve never been one to throw things up in my boyfriends’ face of things I’ve done for them or keep score with it, regardless if the relationship works out or doesn’t. If I want to do something nice for someone, I’ll just do it without expecting anything in return. If I expect something, then I’ll communicate that to keep things fair. I realize now not everyone is like that, but I still don’t regret favors I’ve… Read more »

Tim
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Tim
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Right on Brother!

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[…] her feelings, and do everything in my very limited power to help her achieve her dreams she would appreciate the effort and the sacrifice and reciprocate with her own genuine love, sex and devotion to […]

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[…] wants this to work for themselves and in spite of women who fundamentally lack the capacity to appreciate […]

tomas
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tomas
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Excellent article. The homily of one aislinnblowkisses had the vitiolic male shaming and bashing ive come to expect from womyn wif issues, especially with the coded evil patriarchy bantered about. This is the shriek of 3rd wave feminism, and does not engender (typically ) male love and affection. Yet this poster claims a happy straight marriage: Not only that, I’m 26 years old, happily married to a great man, and I must tell you, yeah, we worked, A LOT for this relationship. Saying that the relationship takes work is not a myth, you imbecile. Did you make it 15 years… Read more »

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[…] You will never be appreciated for your sacrifices, and certainly not while you’re making them. Your presence is only as superfluous as you allow it to be. While you will never be appreciated for it in any measurable sense, you will be liable for it, so my advice is to make the most of it in a Red Pill respect. Your reward, your motivation, for being a Red Pill parent and a positively masculine example in your kids’ lives needs to come from inside yourself because it will never be rewarded by a feminine-primary social order. If you don’t think you… Read more »

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[…] know the experiences I’ve had, life has taught me the value of compromise. Women fundamentally lack the capacity to appreciate the sacrifices a man must make to facilitate a feminine reality, but if there’s one thing women […]

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[…] privilege debases what men have honestly invested themselves in. I’ve always held that women fundamentally lack the capacity to appreciate the sacrifices men make to facilitate their feminine-primary reality, but that’s not to discount men’s want to […]

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[…] Classic: Women and appreciation. […]

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[…] The problem then becomes one of women fundamentally lacking the capacity to appreciate the sacrifices a man must make to facilitate … […]

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[…] appreciate it, is in error. Women fundamentally lack the ability to fully realize, much less appreciate the sacrifices a man makes to facilitate their reality. Even the most enlightened, appreciative […]

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[…] (enlace al original en ingles) […]

Reg
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Reg
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I don’t have words to express how full I agree with everything you’ve said. We are kindred spirits.

BeThatAsItMay
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BeThatAsItMay
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Amazing post. Thank you. The guy from the loveshack forum hit it out of the park. When I think back on my relationships and my marriage I see a guy who tried so hard to do a million little things to make his exes feel appreciated and loved. I’m not big on pricey gifts because I believe(d) that nothing beats a personal touch, be it a homemade gift or a back rub. I’m big on touch so for me coming up to my wife from behind as she was doing dishes or brushing her teeth and hugging her and telling… Read more »

Man-E-Faces
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Anyone who’s a dad can relate… You do crazy shit for your kids, you sacrifice, you go out of your way to give your kids amazing EXPENSIVE life experiences, yet in the end they appreciate nothing and even find fault with you and complain. I’m a divorced dad. When I call my kids they’re too busy to talk to me. “Dad can i call you back tomorrow? The Flash is on i dont want to miss it.” tomorrow never comes. When their with me, two weekenfs out of the month they’re texting their mother or calling her to checking in.… Read more »

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[…] he found out that none of his sacrifices were appreciated. Even more so, he found out that his accommodations were met with deceit. His wife had lied to him; […]

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[…] were really demonstrating good relationship material, but shows woman’s utter disregard and lack of appreciation for men who were playing by her rules. Then to add insult to injury, she gives herself eagerly to […]

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[…] their influence makes. As I’ve written before, women fundamentally lack the capacity to ever appreciate the sacrifices men make to facilitate a woman’s reality. Few, if any, women understand just […]

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[…] Nothing leaves a man more vulnerable in life, love, family, career, finances and really power over the direction of his life than to invest himself in a woman. The very act, the very thought, of surrendering his life’s imperative to the trust that a woman wont exercise the unimaginable control and potential for damage she has in his life is a vulnerability no woman will ever recognize or acknowledge; nor will the sacrifices that come from this vulnerability ever be something she has a capacity to appreciate. […]

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[…] Oh, trust me, every Red Pill aware reader I’ve ever had has come to realize that women fundamentally lack the capacity to appreciate anything a man does for her. […]

AE
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AE
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“aislinnblowkisses” is hilarious–the caricature of the stunningly non-self-aware solipsistic female feminist.

jtp01972
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jtp01972
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There seems to be a lot of confusion about how a woman shows appreciation but it’s so, so much simpler than all this. You can’t prescribe it, but you know it when you see it. Girls can’t help but show it when it is earned. My fondest memories are still those few unsolicited moments when she communicated without a shadow of a doubt that she was in love with me. The time she picked me up after a deployment a little tipsy and nervous and couldn’t keep her hands off me in the back seat… the time she dropped her… Read more »

R
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R
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I agree with you that women do not show enough appreciation to men. BUT you surely can see it goes both ways? If not then you sure a male-centric! How about mothers who never get appreciated for carrying a child inside them for 9 months, squezing it out, destroying their body and neither regions. And caring for that child etc etc. And do not get appreciation, nor by males or famles, because its her JOb as a mother. But if a male stays at home with his child. Changes diapers, takes paternal leave takes his child to the playground or… Read more »

jtp01972
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jtp01972
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@R – That’s not even what he says. Rollo doesn’t complain or insist that women should change… in any of these posts. He points out that men and women have fundamentally different capacities to empathize because they have fundamentally different wiring.

But you are surprised that we are male-centric? It’s called therationalmale.com.

s0nicfreak
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“How about mothers who never get appreciated for carrying a child inside them for 9 months, squezing it out, destroying their body and neither regions. And caring for that child etc etc. And do not get appreciation, nor by males or famles, because its her JOb as a mother.” Who do you expect the appreciation to come from, in that circumstance? You carried a child, squeezed it out, and destroyed your body FOR YOURSELF – because you wanted to become a mother. If that’s not what you wanted, you – and only you – had the power to make it… Read more »

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[…] I fundamentally disagree with this premise though I do understand why it’s so appealing to a ‘lost generation’ of young men. From my own perspective, life is based on a perpetual discontent, but how a man deals with that discontent – creatively or destructively – is the measure of him. Furthermore, I would argue that women fundamentally lack the capacity to appreciate the sacrifices men make in order to facilitate t… […]

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[…] I fundamentally disagree with this premise though I do understand why it’s so appealing to a ‘lost generation’ of young men. From my own perspective, life is based on a perpetual discontent, but how a man deals with that discontent – creatively or destructively – is the measure of him. Furthermore, I would argue that women fundamentally lack the capacity to appreciate the sacrifices men make in order to facilitate t… […]

rodneymuthuri
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I’m 20 years old and this is the best advice i’ve ever received about marriage. I’m actually looking forward to it now that I know what to expect and what not to even dream about.

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[…] buy her future loyalty by making sacrifices for her in the present. Femoids don’t appreciate the sacrifices men make, and there’s no such thing as relationship equity. If you believe […]

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