Mental Point of Origin

PoO

I’m working another contract gig for the next few months, and recently I had an interesting encounter with a new girl on my team. She’s 34, Japanese (dual citizenship) maybe an HB 6.5-7 and over the summer she hooked up with a guy here who she had a somewhat monogamous relationship with until he transferred to Australia last August.

This girl is ‘in love’ with this guy who’s not aloof to her, and not fully indifferent, but he sets himself as his first priority and never considered turning down his transfer in order to continue anything with her. The guy is nothing special to look at. No muscle definition, kind of fat-thin if you know what I mean, but pasty white, ginger, not out of shape but not in shape, maybe 5′ 11″.

She cannot shut up about what a ‘real man’ he is. She bought a $2,200 ticket to visit him for a week and a half in January and has made a personalized calendar as a gift for him that has photos all of these events they shared together over the summer, every month with a heartfelt description of some thing she loves about him included.

To her, this guy is Alpha as fuck. On Tinder, this guy would be a left swipe 100% of the time. His attitude is indifferent Alpha, but he’s self-concerned. This girl idolizes him.

Granted there’s a lot more going on here to consider; her being well past the Epiphany Phase, necessitous and urgently wanting to consolidate on a long term monogamy makes this guy into an idealized prospect. Thus he became her Alpha, if not anyone else’s. Granted, it’s mostly situational; she thinks she wants to have kids with him and at 34 that clock is about to expire, but she has to come to him, literally and figuratively.

However, although the guy is definitely a ‘contextual Alpha’, he’s got a genuine Alpha-ish bearing that translates into his being self-aware of his condition and really not giving a damn what anyone else might think. He’s got total Frame control, but it’s not an intentional control, and that natural casualness of indifference only makes her want to please him that much more. There may be a cultural element to this as well, but to hear her talk about other, lesser men, it’s apparent she’s been very much westernized in her sense of entitlement.

Self-Concern Without Self-Awareness

People think I’m crazy to hold up a guy like Corey Worthington as the example of an Alpha Buddah, but this guy has the same unpracticed, self-unaware, mojo as Corey.

Personally, I was at my most Alpha when I didn’t realize I was. That’s not Zen, it’s just doing what came natural for me at a point in my life when I had next to nothing materially, only a marginal amount of social proof, but a strong desire to enjoy women for the sake of just enjoying them in spite of it.

I’ve mentioned before, the most memorable sex I’ve had has been when I was flat broke (mostly). It didn’t matter that I lived in a 2 room studio in North Hollywood or had beer and mac & cheese in the fridge – I got laid and I had women come to me for it.

It didn’t take my doing anything for a woman to get laid or hold her interest. All I did was make myself my mental point of origin. It’s when I started putting women as a goal, making them into more than just a source of enjoyment, that I transferred that mental point of origin to her and I became the necessitous one.

A lot of guys will call that being ‘needy’, and I suppose it is, but it’s a neediness that results from putting a woman (or another person) as your first thought – your mental point of origin.

I’ve used this term in a few posts so I thought it deserved a bit more explanation.

Your mental point of origin is really your own internalized understanding about how you yourself fit into your own understanding of Frame.

If Frame is the dominant narrative of a relationship (not limited to just romantic relations), your mental point of origin is the import and priority to which you give to the people and/or ideas involved in that relationship. It is the first thought you have when considering any particular of a relationship, and it’s often so ingrained in us that it becomes an autonomous mental process.

For most of us our understanding of that point of origin develops when we’re children. Kids are necessarily “selfish”, sometimes cruel and greedy because our first survival instinct is to naturally put ourselves as our mental point of origin. Only later, with parenting and learning social skills do we begin to share, cooperate, empathize and sympathize as our mental point of origin shifts to putting the concerns of others before our own.

Young boys are generally very Alpha because of this unlearned self-importance. This is the source of the almost zen-like, mater-of-fact Alpha bearing of Corey Worthington. As I said, he’s not a ‘man’ anyone ought to aspire to, but he is an Alpha without intent or self-awareness.

There is a ‘first thought’ balance we have to maintain in a pro-social respect in order to develop healthy relationships. The problem we run into today is one in which boys are (largely) raised to be the men who provide more than they need in order to establish a future family. That learned, conditioned, mental point of origin is almost always focused outward and onto the people he hopes will reciprocate by placing him as their own point of origin.

Natural feminine solipsism makes this exchange a losing prospect. Women are both raised and affirmed by a vast social mechanism that not just encourages them to put themselves as their mental point of origin, but it shames and ostracizes them for placing it on someone or something other than themselves.

By now I’m sure that much of this comes off as some encouragement towards a retaliatory selfishness or narcissism, but putting oneself as his own point of origin doesn’t have to mean being anti-social or sociopathic. It requires a conscious decision to override an internalized understanding of oneself, but by placing yourself as your mental point of origin you are better positioned to help others and judge who is worth that effort.

It often requires some emotional trauma for men to realign themselves as their own point of origin, and I feel this is a necessary part of unplugging, but the real challenge is in how you deal with that trauma in a Red Pill aware state. If you are to kill the Beta in you, the first step is placing yourself as your mental point of origin.

So my weekend discussion questions are this: Are you your mental point of origin?

Is your first inclination to consider how something in your relationships will affect you or your girlfriend/wife/family/boss?

When men fall into relationships with authoritarian, feminine-primary women, their first thought about any particulars of their actions is how his woman will respond to it, not his own involvement or his motivations for it. Are you a peacekeeper?

Do you worry that putting yourself as your own first priority will turn a woman off or do you think it will engage her more fully?

Are you concerned that doing so may lead to your own form of solipsism, or do you think ‘enlightened self-interests’ serves your best interests and those with whom you want to help or become intimate with?

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

263 comments on “Mental Point of Origin

  1. @Richard – Einstein said he hated people saying it’s all relative. He never called it the Theory of Relativity; other people stuck him with that. What he set out to do, and what he did, was discover what was absolute. The reference point that you can say “relative to what?” about.

    As it turns out it wasn’t a thing or point, it was a natural law, the speed of light in a vacuum.

    That’s what Rollo is trying to do here, nail down the absolute in human sexual dynamics, so we have a reference point for understanding the relative.

  2. @ Glenn

    One of the last hurdles I have to get over is the guilt. Hobbes has mentioned that. I could probably have fucked at least a few women by now but I think one of the reasons I didn’t escalate was because I was afraid of hurting them.

    Nobody cared about hurting me and yet they did it again and again. When I hooked up with that one girl months ago I was able to escalate because I established that I didn’t want a relationship and asked if she just wanted to hook up.

    I might try that with some girls I know that I can tell are attracted to me, but I’m afraid of pursuing because I think they want a relationship with me.

    There was one girl I was in an LDR with that was morbidly obese. The desperation thing is definitely there. But I did learn from that what it was like to be wanted by a woman, and wanted desperately. It just got to the point where I had to call it off because she was serious about wanting a committed relationship and I just said what I felt — that I couldn’t offer that to her.

    But also not to guilt trip me, because she decided to keep seeing me despite me having told her over and over again that I don’t really want to be in a relationship with any girl — I just want to have sex as a regular part of my life while I do my own thing. So I’m not taking any guilt on. That shit pisses me off. I’ve felt bad enough on my own in my life and if anyone is going to try to pull that on me — fuck you is my attitude.

    Even being so huge and me not being that attracted to her — she did have a very pretty face at least — it felt great to know she wanted me so much. She was constantly telling me how much she wanted my dick and how much I turned her on and all that stuff. And she meant it. The few times she did visit I couldn’t have imagined her being more into it.

    I wish I fucked her at least. I was just too inexperienced to even try at the time. We fooled around, she blew me and swallowed every single time, a whole bunch of times, and I’d fingerbang her, wouldn’t even consider going down on her because I thought it was gross. And always have. I can’t even watch that stuff in porn, I just don’t like it.

    Even if it was just because I’d invested time into her and she had no other real options, not to mention that I’m definitely not ugly, and am actually quite attractive, so from a purely physical standpoint there was a COLOSSAL divide between our respective SMV’s.

    Which was enough to forgive any and all beta behaviors I had, as well as her knowing I was trying to hook up with other women basically the whole time I’d known her. She also knew I was failing at it. But I definitely get the idea of “dread” from my experiences with that. It got to the point where she would talk about wanting to do me with another girl because she knew that would get me excited and that’s what I’d really like.

    I am on the fence about asking some girls I know point blank if they’d just want to hook up sometime. I’m not sure if I could bring myself to faking that I want to be in a relationship with them and then pumping and dumping them.

    That might crucify my odds. We’ll see. But I did have a hookup with that one girl after asking her point blank if she wanted a fuck buddy. If I didn’t get cockblocked I probably would not be a virgin right now and she probably would still be coming over.

    I do have to say, being so desperate and optionless, it’s tempting to settle for a girl that I’m not really attracted to, but am attracted to enough to want to fuck. If the difference in SMV is enough for them to treat me like an alpha god, and enough for me to ACT like one around them (because they don’t intimidate me because they’re not hot)….I don’t know.

    All things considered, the desperate obsession with me and endless compliments about everything about me and how I looked and everything else….it felt a lot better than sitting here jerking off.

    HOWEVER….it was an LDR, and I never got a chance to see how things would go if we REALLY started spending time together. I actually broke it off after reading on RM….I was considering committing to her until I found this blog and then I started changing my perspective, and decided it was best to let her go and try to learn how to play the field as well as I could.

    Especially since she’s so much older than me — 8 years older, and wanted kids and everything. That could’ve ended up as a complete trainwreck. Who knows.

    But anyway here I am. I do have a little experience by now, and that hookup was thanks to this blog, I never would’ve initiated anything like that before finding this place. So I have grown a bit.

    Now it’s a matter of repeating that hookup process with other girls. Might have to use a little more tact than asking them if they want to come over and hook up with me, or if they want to be fuck buddies. But it’s worked one time, and it will definitely work better than sitting here doing absolutely nothing at all.

    So I don’t know. But I do have to get over the guilt and the worry. I’m debating about it. How much can I really go “dark” in order to get what I want? What kind of sex life am I willing to settle for, and what kind do I really want?

    I’m definitely getting in my own way. Realizing that is the first step to doing something about it. When I initiated that hookup with that girl I just capitalized on what I knew to be her interest in me — I “just got it,” for sure. Subconsciously I did pick up on her sexual interest in me. And I’ve noticed it in other girls, just never did anything about it.

    The point blank asking if they want to hook up might not always be the best option, but I’d be interested to hear if any other guys here have had good results with that.

    Keeping in mind it wasn’t cold. I knew the girl, wasn’t really friends with her, but we were acquaintences and she would regularly flirt with me. I knew she had interest and that’s what gave me the confidence to just ask her point blank.

  3. @Glenn

    Totaly agree. I look at everything as the apex predator. Makes life a lot more fun and simpler. Best reality check for when you are not functioning correctly. If you are not feeling predatory, then something is wrong.

  4. Men are mentally better at getting from their point of origin to somewhere else. In order to score with the chicks.

    Layne Vashro, Elizabeth Cashdan. Spatial cognition, mobility, and reproductive success in northwestern Namibia. Evolution and Human Behavior, 2014; DOI: 10.1016/j.evolhumbehav.2014.09.009

  5. @Rollo- Oh, thats nothing new to me. I remember a even worse case you wrote about – some married guy found a porno from his wife doing things she would never do with him.
    I’m well aware of that dynamic. But to me it’s all about how you, as a man, approach sex. In my experience- even as a beta, I always saw sex as fun and wild. I never judged, so they never felt uncomfortable. Well, its not that I didn’t judge, I just never let on about it.
    Oddly I always found the women who were most into me to be the ones most likely to lie. We all kind of do that sometimes- worry about how we’re being perceived. I just always kept sex varied- dirty, soft, crazy etc and they always pick up on it and just let go of it.
    I understand that being beta will make men have negotiated sex, And that being beta increases the likelihood of these types of situations.. and I agree,But Tinder Masters contention was that women reserve great hot sex for good looking guys. And that is just false in my experience. Women reserve great sex for men who make them tingle, and part of that is being alpha enough to get them there. Looks is secondary.
    For example, look around at all these guys who are actually pretty attractive (more than me for sure) who are so beta they have lame sex- or are denied altogether. Now look around and you’ll see some pretty ugly but alpha-ish dudes getting enthusiastic sex.
    So I agree with your assessment that alpha/beta will influence whether a woman gives you her enthusiastic all in bed, I disagree with Tinders assertion that its looks that are the defining factor

  6. @softek – Wow, thanks for being so open. I don’t have any specific advice beyond what I’ve already said. And it seems like you are working on this, so at some point results will come. The bottom line is that you need to get off the schneid – you have to sink your cock into a woman. I think you were on the right track with the one who was flirting with you. As for being cockblocked, if she was actually interested that is only temporary, so I’d consider going back to her. I invest my time in women who show interest.

    Whatever the case, given the challenges you started with, I say you should also get that you have come an awfully long way. The thing that does jump out at me from your writing is the anxiety about all this. I wonder, do you have techniques to deal with that? Women respond to calm confidence really well, and many are put off by nervous guys. I have my own issues with anxiety but in fact have learned a lot about how to calm myself, for my own happiness, not to pick up women.

    Keep up the good fight, as it’s all we can do anyway. And remember, no man on this earth ever laid on his deathbed and said to himself, “Gosh, I wish I fucked fewer women” lol. I say the kind of sexuality you want is “more”.

  7. @ Glenn

    Thank you so much. I’ve been keeping up with your comments and I’ve found them definitely among the most helpful here.

    I’ve been using Faster EFT, which is similar to the Sedona Method. I used to have near panic attacks just making appointments, like dermatologist, dentist, etc., and have had tons of anxiety problems about things that have nothing to do with girls, like traveling, public transportation, applying for different jobs, or promoting my own services — when it gets bad I tend to be borderline agoraphobic.

    But I’ve been making appointments as needed, had some major dental work done and it ended up being no big deal — I used that technique to work through the anxiety and before I knew it I was making appointments and getting the work done like it was nothing.

    I believe that the lack of sex is a symptom as much as it is a cause, if not more a symptom than a cause. Major lack of respecting one’s own needs, fear of asserting oneself, fear of being “selfish,” afraid of what other people think, etc.

    http://www.secasa.com.au/sections/for-students/the-child-abuse-accommodation-syndrome/

    I found that article the other day and found it very interesting. I was only molested once and it wasn’t by a family member (it was at a physical by a doctor), but even though that article says it’s mainly about sexual abuse I think it applies to abuse/neglect in general.

    It reminded me of a lot of things that happened to me and stirred up a lot of feelings, and those feelings are my blueprint for what I have to deal with. I have been using Faster EFT on the intense rage that comes up.

    I actually went back to the place I used to hide as a kid. Complete darkness, very cramped. I couldn’t fit in the small space anymore but I went into the area and just sat there. It was like I was being drugged. I literally felt like I was high, like I was in a hypnotic trance — and I believe that’s what it is.

    And when anyone says something that reminds me of that stuff, even unconsciously, I go into a trance — whether it’s rage or panic or whatever, and I just lose my shit. Rarely visibly, since I don’t express my emotions in person just about ever, but in my mind it’s just a gigantic horrible mess.

    I’ve been using Faster EFT on that progressively. Going back DIRECTLY to the memories, and dealing with the emotions as they come up.

    Those emotions have so many ties to my negative self-image, and the more work I do on myself, the better my self-image becomes. The more forgiving I am for my “mistakes,” which are really insignificant whereas before I thought they were horrible and unforgivable. My parents drilled it into me that I was a “demon child” and that I made their life a living hell — they couldn’t deal with their issues and they blamed me as a child for all of them, and I grew up learning how to carry that burden. Basically, they hypnotized me into being like them. They didn’t know that’s what they were doing, but they were trying to make me just like them, to get me to think and see the world just the way they did.

    It’s hard work, but it’s worth it. I have to remind myself to push through — that the anxiety and fear are my path to recovery and an improved life, now that I have a skill to deal with them.

    Because if I don’t deal with the anxiety and fear….it will always be there inside of me.

    I learned a lot getting high just two times. The first time I had a panic attack for 3 and a half hours. Full blown. Horrible. The second time, I started to panic, but I was able to pull myself out of it because I knew what to expect. I knew it was okay to relax, that I was just overreacting to the feeling of being high.

    I never did pot outside of that, but I learned a real lot from that experience. I’ve adapted that to how I see anxiety or any other negative emotions that come up: they’re just feelings, and if I calm down, they’ll pass. Faster EFT is a tapping technique and the primary phrases used are:

    “It’s okay to let it go
    It’s safe to let it go
    I’m okay as I let it go
    Just let it go”

    And grab your wrist, take a deep breath, blow it out, and say “Peace.” The deal is, like the Sedona Method, to interrupt the freakout response, induce a state of peace and calm, then go back to what was causing you to feel so bad, induce a state of calm again, go back and check it again, etc., until you can’t make it bother you anymore.

    It’s based on hypnosis, which uses ‘trance breakers’ to do just that. It’s basically Pavlovian conditioning in reverse — desensitizing to a stimulus. The ultimate goal is to change it to a positive, whatever way you can, by re-visualizing or “re-imprinting” a different feeling and image that you’d rather have.

    I’ve used it on memories of being molested at a physical by a doctor, my dad abusing me, getting bullied, etc. — I have major work to do with some of that stuff, but I have made progress using this method. It’s hard work going in there because it hurts so much and is so draining from how angry and upset I get, but when I clean something up, I feel better. And it lasts. I still am dealing with things but my overall stress and anxiety levels are much lower than they were 6 months ago, before I started using this technique on a daily basis.

  8. I’ve also found that taking 1-2 grams of potassium citrate per day and taking 1-2 tablets (125-250 mg) of magnesium per day (Jigsaw brand is the best I’ve used) has been helping a lot as far as my mood stability goes.

    And especially taking them at night, they’ve been helping my insomnia tremendously, especially as I’ve kept up with them. I know the bulk of testosterone we produce is produced at night, at least if I remember correctly, and making sure I’m giving myself the best chance I have to produce as much testosterone as possible is one of my primary goals right now.

    But the recommended amount of potassium for adult males is 4.7 grams a day at least, which is more than 10 cups of orange juice (about 450mg per cup). That’s a lot, and I doubt most people are getting anywhere near that much. Potassium citrate powder is cheap, and I just take it with a “Pinch” teaspoon, which I believe is 1/16th teaspoon, which should come out to about 357 mg.

    I usually take a couple of those a few times a day, e.g. breakfast, lunch and dinner. But that’s my new higher dose. Before I was doing about 800mg a day total. But since I’ve upped it, I’ve been sleeping a hell of a lot better.

    I’ve been doing a hair mineral analysis program, and I’m taking more minerals than that, but the naturopath I’m working with says he recommends potassium and magnesium to anyone, even without getting tested, because they’re generally deficient in everyone to some extent and they also aren’t that expensive. He doesn’t recommend any particular brands, but I’ve done well with pure potassium citrate powder and that Jigsaw magnesium I mentioned.

    Getting more sleep has been helping me A LOT. A real lot. I was averaging 5-6 hours of horrible sleep a night, usually taking at least a couple hours to fall asleep, having nightmares, panic attacks, etc. Now I’m actually feeling sleepy at night and it doesn’t take me long to pass out.

    I also have been working out regularly and that also helps a lot with sleep. I recently went from higher reps to lower reps with heavier weights and I’ve been having better results with that.

  9. @Softek, I used to suffer from manic depression, OCD, anorexia, and social anxiety. I also learned about hypnosis, starting at about age 12. At age 16 I discovered meditation and noticed some important differences between the two mind training techniques.

    While hypnosis is very useful for dealing with beliefs, meditation can deal with mindfully re-training ones direct momentary experience.

    It was at 16 that I also discovered body the body centered meditation including hatha yoga. Also some of the self-hypnotic routines I did were body centered meditations; especially feeling love physically in areas of the body.

    Later in life I learned chi-kung, which is another body-centered meditation, which I found to be very powerful and important, and practice to this day.

    For self improvement and getting over old habits, you may want to look into these other approaches. Beliefs are important, but there are other approaches that will help a great deal in other ways.

  10. Oh, I also used to have runaway thoughts, and would sometimes crave peace from them. At times they even were close to voices in my head. The neurosis was so painful as to be a living hell and I’d think of suicide occasionally. And I had another condition, and I forget the name, where the russling of paper would give me the chills.

    It was the meditation that had the strongest effect on all of that, and all of that, including the worst of the social anxiety, went away by about the age of 21, after many long meditation retreats.

  11. While other people were out at college getting their career in order, I was out in a Buddhist monastery and in distant isolated forest hunters shacks or in a tent in an isolated sea-shore field or in big meditation centers, working to get my head in order.

    As an investment in my future, the meditation was far superior to working on a career.

    Later I worked on building up my own businesses, and that took decades to get off the ground. But the foundations for me were really worth the investment – taking the time out to just focus on meditation. I did that for several years.

  12. @ xsplat

    We seem to be cut from a similar cloth. I dropped out of college after having a nervous breakdown and spent the next few years reading Buddhist texts, meditating on Zen koans, reading the Bible (I’d forgotten all the doctrine I’d learned growing up and wanted to read it as a spiritual text from my own perspective), and just reading everything I could about spirituality and psychology to get my head in order. Also intensively independently researching nutrition — that was a key player too, if not first and foremost.

    I’ve pretty much struggled with suicidal thoughts almost daily since I was 12 or 13, major mood swings, OCD as well, intrusive, incessant thoughts about horrible and mean things that I didn’t want to be thinking about.

    Anyway, especially over the past couple years I developed some skills with instrument building and repair. I have a lot to learn but even though I don’t have a regular client base yet, I’m definitely light years ahead of the routine guys working at music shops, in terms of what I’m capable of doing and the quality of my work. The only thing that’s lacking to get me off the ground is my confidence in myself. I would work with my friend once in a while, who’s renowned in the area, but he likes working alone and more or less left me to my own devices after showing me the basics, and I have yet to make my own way in the world with that.

    Though like it said in that ‘confessions of an incel’ article, confidence comes from experience. Just like I need to start getting with girls, I need to get more work in and get paid and praised for it regularly — and that will build the confidence. I’m extremely proud of the instrument I built myself, it’s excellent, looks very unique, and everyone who’s played it loved it — but the confidence isn’t there because it’s not consistent. I look at it and pick it up and feel proud but I built it over a year ago. The feelings fade with time — atrophies like muscles you don’t use.

    The hardest part is that with no sex life and no immediate prospect of having one, and having gone so many years in isolation like this, my motivation is wearing thin. The lack of human companionship and a feeling of any real, genuine bond has taken a very heavy toll on me.

    I’ve only learned a little bit of qi-gong and might get back into that. Although it was just watching videos online about how to do it. There might be actual classes around where I live. I’d have to push myself but there could also be the benefit of meeting like-minded people there.

    Mantak Chia had a lot of cool stuff and I used to read some of his work, but it’s been a long time. On the physical side at least, I’ve been doing gymnastics as well as weightlifting and that definitely helps to keep me centered. The gymnastics especially. There’s a site, Gymnastic Bodies dot com, that has the best bodyweight training program I’ve ever seen in my life. I’ve been doing it for 6 months, have made a lot of progress and my overall feeling of strength and well-being have magnified exponentially. And I’m not even 1/4 of the way through Foundation One yet.

    It’s reassuring to me that you feel the meditation was more beneficial to you than working on a career. I feel the same way when I stop and think about my own experiences. What I’ve learned about managing my emotions and being able to find at least some peace within myself despite the massive storm of memories and emotions inside my mind — and so much more that I can’t put into words. You know what I mean. I think about dying a lot and it feels good to feel conscious and like I can be at peace with how my life has played out so far — that is to say, that I can choose to be at peace with it.

    Of course I still want to move forward and have a better life, but I think it’s important to accept ourselves for where we are right now, including where we came from.

  13. “I’ve pretty much struggled with suicidal thoughts almost daily since I was 12 or 13,”

    Ya, I was mostly normal, except for very minor OCD, up until puberty as well.

    You mentioned studying Buddhist material. Did you also regularly practice a meditation, such as sitting still and following the breath, or mantra, or similar? My gains in wellbeing took an extra-ordinary and long term effort. I’ve met very few people who have put in similar hours. Doing that was also of course not without risks and side effects. At one point I was seeing the guru pictures in 3-d and thought they were embodied by the presence of real gurus. He he. And I was very hard core about not caring about worldly things. I took it all quite seriously, and really did my very best.

    And some of the most extra-ordinary gains were temporary or came back in fits and spurts.

    And it took years just to even begin to get a real vipassana style formless meditation of just resting the mind.

    And much of the meditation was truly arduous.

    But none-the-less, some dramatic personality and wellbeing changes did happen. I am nothing today like the troubled teen I was. Nowadays my inner voice spontaneously proclaims “I’m so happy”. That’s what I just said to myself not 5 minutes ago. And I wasn’t trying to tell myself some self improvement story. I really am so happy that those words just naturally burst out of my mind.

    So ya, neuroplasticity is real, and great and lasting long term changes are possible. It can be a long grueling process that requires intense willpower though.

  14. Oh, and I had a nervous breakdown too – even after most of my heavier meditation. That was due to the stresses of living with a BPD wife. The nervous breakdown is what got me out of there; I realized I had the option of staying with her and go crazy, or leave.

    It took about a year for my nervous system to recover.

    And I’ve had periods of needing anti-anxiety medicine. Moving to SEA fixed that – the pace here is easier, and you can get by on less, so there is less stress of what happens if things fall apart financially. Oh, and the regular sex with young women helps more than I can explain. For everything. That’s huge.

  15. @ Softek – I concur with Xsplat that experiential approaches to developing a peaceful, positive outlook on life are great in the sense that they don’t get you caught up in your head. Example: Meditation is really about letting go of your attachment to your thoughts as who you “are” – you are having thoughts, you are not your thoughts. When you start to get that much of your “thinking” is really the squabbling babble of the “monkey mind”, well then you get to laugh really hard at how silly humans are in taking our much lauded consciousness so seriously.

    I’ve done many other self-help routines. I meditated regularly for over years and actually “disappeared” myself and also grew to understand that the only point of meditation is to develop mindfulness in the current moment. Many people get hung up on self-medicating with meditation and while it does have some good effects, that approach is merely more escapism.

    Ultimately, what all that work missed was the set of lies that are sold to men to make us work for the good of humanity instead of ourselves. Until I realized that my entire sense of worth was being given by how successful I saw myself as a provider and protector and worker and father and husband and lover etc – my point of mental origin was all wrong. In this way, the Red Pill was like the final puzzle piece on my journey of developing an authentic, self-loving self.

    It also helps that I’m an atheist. I don’t believe in magic, I don’t think I’m going to be saved, I don’t think anything better is coming than this life, so for me, I’m out to be as grounded in reality as one can be. I have often described Buddhism as developing a profound relationship with reality – and then laughing at it. Humans are quite silly when you take a good look at us from a distance. We are just another animal, running around on the planet looking to dominate it, eat and fuck. We are the most successful by far and also have developed social structures and language in ways that no animal ever has – but we are just animals nonetheless. And this animal likes to fuck hotties – which is finally a-okay with me.

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  18. “Your mental point of origin is really your own internalized understanding about how you yourself fit into your own understanding of Frame.”
    Got it alpha is a mindset

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  20. Check this scenario out: I am a believer in the red pill and fully conversant with all concepts. One I strongly believe is important is being your own mental point of origin. Anyway my wife wants to bring her mum that doest drive to stay with us over Christmas, however she has a dog that can’t come as we have a young son + new furniture etc.

    This means collecting mother in law plus making several trips of 2 hrs each time to walk the dog. The dog belongs to my wife’s brother who lives away, he is his own mental point of origin and it goes that he doest take responsibility for his dog.

    It’s hard drawing the line I could refuse to collect mother in law but possibly upset my wife a lot as it means her mum would be along at Christmas!

    There’s a lot going on here because on one hand by collecting mother in law and inconvencing my self I abdicate to her frame rather than if I do what favours me and maintain my own.
    I would love your thoughts on this type of scenario

    Dan

  21. Your mother in law can hire a professional to care for the dog. Or your wife can do it, with her mother, which would give you a couple hours of peace in the day. Not to put too fine a point on it, but if you make several two hour trips to walk the dog, you are the little bitch.

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  24. Rollo, never in my live I have seen a guy who literally is “a left swipe 100% of the time”. So what do you really mean here?

  25. Last summer me and a colleague were standing on the concourse of a train station. We had been talking for a while and there had been a natural lull in conversation. At this point I had noticed a woman who had been leaving the station (her back to me) abruptly turn. The station had a scattering of commuters, but her sudden movement was enough to spark a little curiousity.
    She was roughly 40 metres away when this occurred. I saw her attention was on the shops over to my left, so I looked to see what had caught her interest.
    Even as I did so, half my mind was filtering through topics I could use to resume the conversation I’d been having with my colleague. I must have been daydreaming a little because the woman was still looking in the direction off to my left but she had halved the distance between myself and her. I grew conscious of this fact and a subtle anxiety overcame me. It’s while I was processing this (she had moved closer still), she did away with the subterfuge and looked straight at me. I, in turn, pushed my thoughts to one side and locked eyes with hers. She walked over to me and asked about the platform closures and where she might get such and such a train. I advised her, of where she could get a, likely, train bound for her destination. Though it might be best to check with the information desk, beforehand.
    As she turned to go she lingered a few seconds, prompting me to say more.
    But I didn’t and I saw the faint look of disappointment in her eyes as she turned to leave.

    In that moment I felt it would’ve been inappropriate to give rise to the subtext of our communication. I was with a colleague, in a public setting with a woman I didn’t know.
    I realise some pretty, arrangement of words could’ve been used to allay my uneasy and lead to a romantic settlement. Though, none were forthcoming.

    Her actions gave me an enormous sense of validation. I had been eating healthy and going to the gym regularly and these improvements were bearing fruit.
    But I’m also aware my interest in her didn’t originate with me. I’ve internalised the belief if an opportunity is presented to you, no matter how tempting, it’s best to pass it up.
    If you think about it, this applies to everything. But it’s only in the last 15 years I’ve started applying it to women as well.

  26. After having been unplugged for about a year now, and actively reading this blog for about the same amount of time, I’ve recently noticed that I can “feel” myself internalizing the red pill truths that I have been reading about for so long now. I’m no longer just reading and saying to myself “wow, what great insight.” I scan my environment in real time and can see the “code” so to speak. I observe social interactions around me, and almost immediately, begin dissecting and analyzing the nuances of the social dynamics.

    Things like shit testing, negotiating desire, hypergamy, dominance, etc., that required conscious thought are now becoming second nature to me, almost instinctual. Everytime I can see a real life scenario or social convention for what it really is, I feel as though I am making small, but steady, progress toward my goal of becoming a better man. After living in the haze of my “betatude” for so long now, I love feeling like I’m starting to “just get it.” This feeling is so liberating, I feel so free and alive.

    While every post on this blog serves a purpose, I truly feel, from the bottom of my heart, that this post is absolutely priceless. Putting YOURSELF first, putting YOUR best interest at the top of the list, doing what makes YOU happy — this is what the red pill is all about. This post, along with “Just Get It,” are my two all-time favorites; I absolutely love them, as they have been so instrumental in my own unplugging process.

    One thing I love about this post in particular, is its application to so many red pill tenants and game techniques. Amused mastery, command presence, cocky-funny, push-pull, abundance mentality, plate theory, etc., all come down to one thing — putting yourself as your mental point of origin. It is this type of moment of clarity where I smile to myself and say “this is fucking awesome.”

    I feel as though I am laying down the foundation for me to live a happy, fulfilling and pro-masculine life. My journey is only just beginning, but I am confident that I am taking the right steps forward and can’t wait to see what my future holds.

  27. @Archer

    Because you are so enthusiastic about the topic, I’ll hazard another mention of what is going on here is given a thorough context on how to be your own mental point of origin in the book Reality Transurfing by Vadim Zeland. I would highly recommend you read the Kindle version of this.

    It is a textbook for How To Mental point of origin. Be warned it is long, but thorough on the topic. 760 pages. (Who does that these days. Take it as a supreme challenge. And then go read The Brothers Karamozov by Doestoyevsky, and then Anna Karenina by Tolstoy. LOL. Who’s got time for that shit?)

    It is fantastic. And is very, very prescriptive in how to operate in order to actually have good mental point of origin.

    It’s one thing to desire and have inner intention to have Mental Point of Origin. It’s an entirely other thing to DO Mental Point of Origin without having to paddle upstream all the time against the tides of the negative forces of the Feminine Imperative, its Hivemind, and that Matrix stealing your energy.

    Indeed young children act from their heart and do what their heart tells them to because their mind has not been cognitively developed or developed socially to follow conventions. The mind can develop asymmetrically or not well rounded in thoughts and conventions as you get older and it can develop a lot of negative energy for you pursuing your goal.

    So it’s one thing to be a Corey Worthington un-aware cognitive being with nothing suppressing his heart and party soul. It’s entirely another thing to have a socially developed mind with cognitive thought–AND the whole weight of a fucked up Social-Intergender-Society-Stealing-Your-Energy-2017.

    It’s one thing to have inner motivation. It is entirely another thing to have outside forces like the analogy the The Matrix movie stealing your energy and inserting pretty little lies in your cognitive brain for that purpose.

    Do yourself a favor and read that book (esp. if you are young) in order to facilitate red pill mental point of origin. It is very red pill and all about enlightened self interest without being a selfish bastard (which is not what enlightened self interest is about.)

  28. @SJF:

    Thanks for the recommendation, I appreciate it. I’m always looking for quality books to read that will help with my self-discovery/self-improvement. I’ve put it at the top of my “must read” list and plan to get started on it as soon as I finish with my current reading project.

  29. This is most critical because “mental point of origin” determines frame.
    Can’t get it; have to be it.

    We each start there, but it is educated/socialized out of us by layers of conditioning “rightthink-rightact.” Getting back is simply first seeing, them rejecting, the conditioning to return to self. It’s unlearning.

    Great stuff about your work Rollo is it is never reactive, but rather dissects and exposes what is.

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  31. I come back to this post every few years.

    @Rollo – How does one draw a distinction between putting yourself first vs making decisions that also benefit your partner? How was one draw a distinction between a positivie choice for his benefit vs one that is also to the benefit his female partner? How is one less a point of origin?

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