Plan B


plan_b

Non-Exclusive Exclusives

I got a link back this week from another backwater blogger who was critical of my, or really a Red Pill, take on an abundance vs. scarcity mentality. I haven’t really felt a need to review Plate Theory for a while now, but ever since Holistic Game’s coffee house protests went down it seems that picking and pulling various bits from my Plate Theory series is some novelty.

I’ve been writing in the manosphere for so long now that the same predictable straw men arguments and out of context quotes have become de rigueur now. Any objective observation of women’s sexual strategy by a man is always synonymous with misogyny.

What I’ve always found entertaining about Blue Pill critics of Plate Theory is that the concept of non-exclusivity always borders on the criminal when a man suggests men ought to pursue a non-exclusive dating (and sex), yet we hold women up as empowered, prudent and/or exemplary of bucking the repression of an imaginary patriarchy when they suggest the same.

Of course the quick retort to this is that women are ‘slut shamed’ for being non-exclusive, but this is simply an old, convenient, sidestep to shame men while distracting from women’s practical sexual strategy.

As Open Hypergamy becomes more embraced among women the usefulness of drawing attention to ‘slut shaming’ actually becomes a hinderance to justifying women’s Hypergamous priorities (AFBB). When a high profile woman like Sheryl Sandberg suggests,…

“When looking for a life partner, my advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier.”

Sandberg’s epitaph here is every bit as “objectifying” as anything you’ll find in the ‘sphere, but the difference is we are expected to find her advice for assuming a state of sexual abundance practical as well as refreshingly progressive. I’ve stated this before, but it bears repeating that as women more proudly, openly, embrace the uglier aspects of Hypergamy it will be women who will prove the validity of Red Pill awareness far better than men could. Sample from the largest available pool of prospective sexual experience (Alpha Fucks) and presume that an ‘equal partner’ (Beta Bucks) provisioner will make himself readily available to you when can no longer reliably attract the men who represent your sexual priorities.

I covered this in Plate Theory V: Lady’s Game; the natural extension of women’s sexual strategy is, at least practically, best served from a presumption of abundance. And as such we also find that the vast majority of feminine-primary social conventions center on facilitating this presumption of abundance for women. Pop culture, social media and a feminine-primary social narrative fosters an over-inflated SMV and an exaggerated sense of self-worth for women, but functionally it convinces women that they can perpetuate a condition of abundance with regard to their sexual viability almost indefinitely.

Even in a condition of committed monogamy that background sense of sexual abundance simmers in women’s subconscious. We laud women with the guts to pursue that abundance after divorce or even reward them with popularity and movie opportunities when they write books about pursuing it while married. Either that or we pat them on the back for their ability to continually move the goalposts and convince themselves and others that spinsterhood is a goal state they sought to achieve their entire lives.

In all of these instances, whether legitimate or not, there is an impression that women can perpetuate a condition of abundance for themselves – and often far past their true sexual market viability. One reason I draw the ire of many a Blue Pill male and women is because my breakdown of the predictable schedule women follow throughout their lives with regards to their SMV and their dualistic sexual strategy is that it directly confronts the doubt that they can perpetuate a condition of abundance in spite of their personal choices in life.

And that’s the crux of women’s self-affirming social and psychological conventions; to avoid any accountability for the fallout that may be caused by the choices Hypergamy has led them to make. Roissy came up with the maxim that the end goal of feminism is to maximally enable women’s sexuality while maximally restricting men’s – and of course the consolidation of that enabling of women’s sexual strategy must also account for absolving them of misgivings and mistakes made in enacting it.

Failsafes

In Betas in Waiting I explored how a majority of boys have, for several generations now, been conditioned to be serviceable providers for women once they enter a phase of life when they find themselves becoming less able to compete intrasexually. Anyone familiar with Preventive Medicine understands this (Epiphany Phase) period as the point during which a woman’s Hypergamous priorities shift from short term Alpha Fucks to long term Beta Bucks.

I also outlined the underlying plan involved in ensuring this strategy in This is now.

That was then. Now at 30 and (hopefully) with a learned and earned degree of merit, success, developed judgement, character and a reasonably well kept physique, a man finds himself in a position like no other – his options and agency to enjoy the attentions of women seem to suddenly be at an apex.

The planning women had at 19 when they told him to “wait for me at 30” now becomes more urgent as she becomes more viscerally aware of the Wall.

She knew this day would come when she was just entering into her peak SMV years.

[…]

For men entertaining women embroiled in their Epiphany Phase inner conflicts, not only is this a very confusing phase for the uninitiated Beta, but it is also an equally precarious period with regard (once again) to the consequences of his life’s decisions with her. Most men find themselves players in women’s meta-sexual strategy at this time because they believe that their perseverance has finally paid off. All of that sacrifice and personal achievement has finally merited him the genuine interest of a “quality woman”.

For the men who never learn a Red Pill awareness what they fail to understand is that it’s at this point they’re are expected to abandon their own sexual strategy in order to complete that of the (now Epiphany Phase) woman they’re considering a pairing with. Whether they were literally asked to wait for a woman until she was 30, the effect is the same, they have waited their turn, they have waited to be of service, they have waited to fulfill a feminine primary sexual imperative.

Now I’ll ask you to draw your attention to the statistics in the picture I’ve included as today’s post image. These were sourced from this study. There are actually several more just like it, but what it illustrates is an example of how women’s subconscious will prepare failsafes in the event that the Alpha lover they hope to convert to a Beta provider doesn’t comply with her sexual strategy.

Whether he’s the one that got away, the office husband, or a gym partner, chances are he is the “Plan B” man you fantasize about running away with. Like an insurance policy, this man is the handpicked boyfriend or husband replacement you have on standby once “plan A” starts to break down on you. According to a survey conducted by OnePoll.com, an online market research company, half of women who are married or in relationships have a Plan B man on standby who is “ready and waiting” because of “unfinished business.”

It’s important to pick this apart from the get go here because, like most female written articles that describe unflattering facts about female nature, the narrative must be shifted to be the burden of men. You’ll notice the presumption here is that the ‘Plan A’ lover is always a woman’s preferred choice – thus pre-confirming women’s blamelessness from the outset – and that a ‘Plan B’ should only ever be considered if the ‘Plan A’ man somehow screws up in contenting a woman’s sexual strategy.

The entire article is founded on the principle of Dread – remember, the sort that when men use it are considered evil manipulators? However it should be noted that dread is always an element of any relationship, it’s just that since women’s imperatives are the socially correct ones today, only women can be held blameless in instituting it.

When there’s trouble in paradise, and eventually a break-up, women are left at the starting line again. This means there’s more ladies’ night, late-night rom-com marathons, and wine — lots of wine. However, to avoid playing the field and going through all the bases, women have taken a shortcut to get back to the finish line with a Plan B man. “The saying that ‘the grass isn’t always greener’ clearly isn’t deterring women of today. They understand that anything can happen and are ensuring they have a solid back-up plan should things go sour with their current man,” a spokesman for OnePoll.com told the Daily Mail.

As has been mentioned before the makings of an Alpha Widow generally begin in a woman’s Party Years; during the period during which she is at her SMV peak. And as was mentioned before, Hypergamy is always pragmatic. This Plan B insurance policy strategy is only further evidence of Hypergamy, but it is also pragmatic. Women’s hindbrains know that their SMV is a rapidly decaying asset, so yes that back up plan makes sense. What’s not so obvious in this study is that women also cling to the hope that the Plan B man with whom they consolidated long term security with might someday be replaced by the fantasy of an Alpha she’s widowed herself over.

I think the latter is not only a far more practical reasoning, but since it’s unflattering and exposing of the machinations of Hypergamy, the far more likely use of a ‘Plan B’ alternate.

You can read the rest of the article and pick up on the blatantly entitled male-qualification perspective and a bit more “you better not fuck things up” dread signaling, however, I think the last three stats are the most salient here. At least half of the men involved knew of the Plan B man, 1 in 5 was a friend of his, and 1 in 10 of the Plan B’s had already made an attempt to jump ladders to be intimate with her.

A couple of things make themselves apparent here: in a social order that is made of at least 80% Beta men women can get an ego boost in real time from the default dread they can inspire without really trying. And second, in generation Beta a default form of soft Beta cuckolding is not just known to them, but apparently it’s become normalized for them.

All of this really comes back to, once again, quelling the constant state of internal doubt that Hypergamy instills in women. The Plan B dynamic, and the normalization of it in a feminine centric social order, is yet another play for assurances of security in both the sexual and provisioning aspects of Hypergamy.

Now, so as not to leave you hanging here, I have to end this essay with a bit of actionable advice. I get criticized for outlining the problems very well, but leaving out what a man ought to do with this information.

As always, your first order of business is to be aware that this dynamic is in play. Understand that this Plan B insurance tactic is not just reserved for married men with dead bedrooms. You will likely see variations of it in your dealings with women while you’re single. Any man who’s sexed a girl who depends on a bevy of male orbiters to bolster her self-esteem knows the utility of them. In the next post I’ll be going into detail of how you can leverage the Betaness of most men to elevate your SMV.

Finally, if you are a married man experiencing this Plan B dynamic, you need to do some serious reassessing of your relationship and the status your wife holds you in. Are you one of the 50% of men who know who their wife’s Plan B is? Is he even a friend of yours?

What can you do to reinforce your Alpha dominance in this situation? Or maybe a better question is, is it worth your effort to do so? There will undoubtedly be the predictable comments about how marriage is never worth the effort, and I’ll acknowledge that here first, but are you a victim of endlessly rooting through garbage to reestablish an Alpha impression for your wife that she’s reserved for her Plan B alternate?


649 responses to “Plan B

  • One

    I like that more visual depiction of the reality of how woman operate.

  • theasdgamer

    I was surprised that there was no link to the backwater blogger.

  • emilyy96

    Wow, that Sandberg quote is basically encouraging women to embrace AF/BB.

    Thank God that NAWALT.

  • rugby11

    Is alpha exhibiting the best of the burden of performance?

  • BC

    legitimate or not, there is an impression that women can perpetuate a condition of abundance for themselves – and often far past their true sexual market viability.

    This is both legitimate and not legitimate, depending on which side of the wall the woman is on and whether the observer is male of female.

    There are enough hungry betas that even truly disgusting and horrifying women can find *someone* to be with and take care of them. The difference pre-wall and post-wall is simply a difference of the level of man they can attract. So from the (beta) man’s POV, women enjoy a state of abundance nearly their entire lives until enough similar-age men have died off to tilt the market so much that the imbalance can no longer be ignored.

    However, given that the beta 80% of men are essentially unwanted and invisible, a woman’s feelings of abundance take into account only the men she wants. So from the woman’s POV, she enjoys a state of abundance while she can attract the men she wants, then a false state of abundance while society and the media tell her and she continues to believe that she can attract the men she wants, and then bitterness as she realizes that she can no longer attract the men she wants.

  • Matt

    I still believe that redpill-thinking men will have a major bias if they plan on getting married during her ephiphany phase. They will have the assumption that they are now the apex alpha after building up their smv, but could just as easily be her beta bucks. I believe you either marry a young girl with ignorance of your future smv, or you play the game of betting on your potential and hoping you can out alpha every lover the girl had in her 20s.

    Of course, not getting married makes this all much simpler.

  • bluepillprofessor

    The more I read the more I agree with Patrice O’Neal:

    ‘We don’t hate you like we want to throw you in a river. The hatred is before that happens, before you put an anchor around her neck and throw her in the muthafuckin lake…Women make me sick…look at you, you fucking bleed for a whole damn week every month, and the week before that you’re a bitch. You goofy fucking bitches aint shit. Your fucking emotions are all over the place and you never know what the fuck you are even feeling until we tell you…you women disgust me.’

    I also agree with Rollo:

    Open cuckoldery is here and by the end of this year we will be seeing the allegations- actual charges will come by the end of 2017- that a man who doesn’t let his princess continue to ride the CC is an abuser. It didn’t take even that long for ‘beating the Hell out of fags being just fine as long as it is all in good fun’ to turn into ‘you are a homophobe and a social outcast if you make a face when two guys suddenly jam their tongues down each others throat right in front of you.’

    Men will be charged with domestic violence if they are “controlling” and try to keep their wives from playing hop on pop in order to keep your best buddy as the Plan B (or Plan C or Plan D) guy. It WILL become a crime for a husband to coerce the wife or use verbal pressure to stop the wife from cheating. Count on it.

  • BC

    The solution, of course, like associative dating/mating, is associative exchange. That is to say, never trade your own resources for lesser resources. If you are not going to gain (exclusive) access to a woman’s best years, then don’t give her (exclusive) access to yours. Likewise with next best years, next-next best years, and so on.

  • David Mendoza

    Long time lurker, first time poster.

    Rollo asks what a man can do if he finds himself in the Plan B dynamic. This is what Has worked for me.

    It’s all about SMV, plain and simple. In convinced all women have Plan B to some extent, but it’s a matter of degree. If your woman has a sufficiently active Plan B that you are aware of, and she is investing in Plan B, it’s because she’s not confident about the ROI on Plan A. If your SMV is sufficiently high, or her perception of it is sufficiently high (contextual alpha, I guess), then it increases the performance burden on the Plan B guy. Let me explain.

    I got in shape, not because it necessarily attracts women, but simply because it made ME feel better and helped me to get my mind in the right place. I bought new threads for the same reason – it made ME feel better and again got me in a good headspace. Doubled down at the office and got bumped a few rungs up. Again – did wonders for my confidence. Worked on my hobby and entered a local contest (build furniture) and came in third place. Not bad.

    The point is this – all of those things helped me get my head on straight. Do you need to do those things to get your mind right? No, but they did help me. And I ended up doing some cool and interesting shit just as a matter of course. And so the result is that the Plan B guy has a higher performance burden to top my SMV.

    Again, there may always be a Plan B guy, but there are a lot of personal benefits that accrue to YOU just by making his job harder.

  • davidmilton20

    I think the best way to fight against your woman having a Plan B is to have a Plan B yourself. Fight fire with fire. In past relationships, I was not only aware of many of my GF’s plan B’s, but would verbally complain to my GFs about how I was worried about them acting on their Plan B’s. Terrible, I know.

    Now, I have much better understanding of how to quell my fears. I am fortunate enough to have a career in the hospitality industry where I am permitted to hire whoever I desire. As an informed Red Pill man, I choose to hire attractive 20-something females. On top of being pleasurable for me, they are actually great for business, too. This, of course, drives my current GF nuts with soft dread. I never have to rub it in her face that I work with attractive females, just my GF knowing is enough to keep her wheels turning.

    In other words, my GF does not have time to formulate a legit Plan B because she is too worried about my Plan B and C and D.

  • emilyy96

    I’ve already read that one Rollo!😀:)

    Btw, fyi, I totes agree with this article. If your wife or gf has a plan b, then that is a massive red flag. I can’t imagine that mindset… “Welll, he’s my MAIN choice, but I still have this OTHER cute guy I like almost equally, just in case this all doesn’t work out.” And the thing is, it usually doesn’t work out. And then over time that plan B will seem more and more attractive as your LTR goes on and likely becomes more dull.

    It’s a terrible way to approach a relationship. SMH.

    Although, note that 57% dont have a plan B.

  • Sun Wukong

    @Rollo

    Linking to Ladder Theory gave me a hardy laugh. As for your link to “Not All Women Aren’t Like That” to our resident idiot marrying her Plan B (but she’d never do that!), a-fucking-men.

    Specifically on the subject of Not All Women Aren’t, men have to learn to play the odds and not count on the exceptions. The reason to slam AWALT out there is to remind you to expect the norm, not the exception. Our resident example also shows us vividly why the ones proclaiming “NAWALT” the loudest are the ones most likely to be exactly Like That ™.

  • Sun Wukong

    @All

    Currently recording for the next Man Table is planned for March 26 @ 3PM Central (assuming myself or Rollo have no changes). I’ll try to get a page up this week with links to previous sessions and instructions on how to join.

  • GW

    @Rollo,
    Great post and since I am one of those who “criticize” you for not providing actionable advice, let me first thank you and also clarify why I asked for this advice.
    I (and perhaps others) asked for your advice not because I (we) are too stupid to put A & B together to conclude C and D are warranted, but because to more clearly understand the points you are making a conclusion ties it all together. One can reverse engineer the conclusion to the earlier points to clarify meaning. This is very helpful.

  • BC

    Although, note that 57% won’t admit, either to others or to themselves, that they have a plan B. Yet.

    Fixed that for you.

  • walawala

    What can you do to re enforce your alpha dominance to avoid being dumped for plan B?

    The thing I’ve turned to is having at least three of four women on the go at any time. One of my plates banged my friend…she chased him and he went for it….I didn’t really care what he did…but I was insulted at the blatant lack of respect on her part.

    I soft Nexted her….invited another hotter girl to San event I knew she’d be at and stopped responding to all her texts.

    If I didn’t have abundance or had allowed myself to take her anymore seriously than a plate I would have been shattered.

    This time it was a kind of “ok ya got me…”

  • GW

    Several thoughts came to mind as I read this post.

    1. Many of us have some alpha qualities in us even though we (most of us) were taught to behave like betas from childhood. While I was fully indoctrinated by my single mother, who slandered my semi-alpha dad after the divorce for decades, I never fully became a beta. The specific thought was that I always, without exception, would walk from a woman instead of live without a large degree of respect from her. I dated a HB8 high earning sales rep and just when I might have been about to “earn” sex with her, she started pulling crap and I dumped her cold..even when she practically begged me to take her back. Of course I could have gamed her way better if I knew red pill at the time, but the point was I would not play her game and went my own way instead of worshiping her.

    2. I married my wife when she was in her early 20s and a virgin..having really had no boyfriend. I have no unicorn illusions, but I did avoid some of this nonsense thus far. I am almost positive she has no back up plan and will be sure to stay strong and independent to keep myself immune to needing to worry about it. Strong game habits are slowly forming and I just heard “Under My Thumb” for the first time in a while and it made a lot more sense. I feel that way on occasionally and fleetingly. The problem is that comfort leads to oneitis bouts that have to be broken up quickly.

    3. Leads me to the final thought. I don’t know if I will ever have sex with another, but I know I have to get to where I know I could easily and maintain that position for as long as possible.

  • RedPillPaul

    @emily

    anytime a survey like this is done, its under reported.

    Example,
    “How many men have you been with””
    “I have only had 3 dicks in my life”
    Real answer is at least 9.

    AWALT

    BC got to my comment/answer first

  • Merciless Times

    When I look on Tinder, or any datingapp/site I only get the idea that most women want to: get a social or medical degree, party, travel to a warm country, make a thousand selfies (building a school for poor African children), work for 5 years and then in their late twenties get serious on their terms. She wants to wear the pants in the relationship presuming she is still that hot 21 y.o that can monkeybranch to whoever she wants.

    Young women think we men are stupid. First you are mostly being ignored regarding being a viable date/boyfriend in your twenties, and then when you and these women are in their 30’s they come in droves: once they have 100.000+ miles on the odometer and want a “serious” man. That is you, Mr. responsible with his savingsaccount and a job. Even when women not rode the carousel you should ask yourself: why do I want to settle for someone who is getting my best (and growing attraction) while I get something that is in decline? Talking about this with women scares them and makes them angry, because they know it is true and you are conscious of it.

  • Liz

    “Although, note that 57% won’t admit, either to others or to themselves, that they have a plan B. Yet.”

    Fixed that for you.

    I doubt that an obese, purple-haired woman who shops with her matching purple dog has a plan b. There are an awful lot of people out there, probably 35 percent too ugly for a plan B.

    If a woman is good looking and nice, she’s going to have orbitors. Good looking successful men do to. I’d avoid any and all women with “party years”. Even if she punched the clock earlier than most. ESPECIALLY if she punched the clock earlier than most (example: “Sex before you’re 16 doesn’t count!”)

  • diomede

    an aspect of game that is never really spoken of is the utility of these 27-33 year old women who are having their epiphany to 40+ year old men who can pull a bait and switch ; )

  • SJB

    Very droll title, Rollo. Where would the FI be without its foundation of the absolute and unequivocal right for a female to abort whatever she wishes?
    .
    Q. Where have all the good women gone?
    A. Their mothers killed them.

  • kfg

    ” . . . the utility of these 27-33 year old women . . .”

    Find me one who can strip, repack and properly preload a loose ball bottom bracket, properly patch a natural latex inner tube and true a wheel with even spoke tension – or at least cook and clean as well as I can while I do those things – and then we’ll talk about their utility.

  • Elmasguapo

    – to all young men, save 3000 and sit on it until you want to have children and get married
    – get a fucking prenup
    – she will hate it during a valley in the relationship, which is exactly when you will realize that was the best mi why you ever spent
    – my house, my pension, no alimony, 50/50 with the kids
    – if I am not appreciated, goodbye
    – unless you are a complete fucktard, the divorce battle will already be on YOUR terms

  • Andy

    @PUA guys

    What % of your girls would you say end up alpha widows?

  • scribblerg

    @Diomede – Yep, those epiphany babes will throw down the pussy and go full porn star for the first few monthsn and be as sweet as can b. Just watch the shift. I had several GFs like this and I noted when they changed and dumped them. They would go from bubbly and fun to judgmental and bitchy. A high value man is like catnip to them at first, but it doesn’t last.

  • MonTueHappyDays

    Absolutely all women have a plan b. women are survivors and the death of a mate or him leaving can’t effect her life cycle.
    The solution is the same as always maintain frame and keep yourself as mental point of origin.
    We men like to think individually ‘what can I do’ but women have a semi group awareness “what can people do, what do people think? ‘
    I went for a meal at the weekend. Waiting to be seated and a young women shamelessly checked me out. Immediately my gf came closer and started with the sweet talk.
    Does this make her bad? No these things just are. It’s only hard to process because of the bullshit socialisation of young men by women.

  • theasdgamer

    @ Emily

    Silly girl, you’re the poster child for AF/BB.

    @ Liz

    I doubt that an obese, purple-haired woman who shops with her matching purple dog has a plan b. There are an awful lot of people out there, probably 35 percent too ugly for a plan B.

    If a woman is good looking and nice, she’s going to have orbitors. Good looking successful men do to. I’d avoid any and all women with “party years”. Even if she punched the clock earlier than most. ESPECIALLY if she punched the clock earlier than most (example: “Sex before you’re 16 doesn’t count!”)

    Interesting comment. Useful as a foil. (I was hoping for a pic of the matching owner/pet.)

    You misspelled “orbiters”. P 😄

    I see betas chasing obese women alla time. Even obese women have orbiters. The reason that you don’t see the ooow’s (orbiters of obese women) is that betas are invisible to you.

    Attractive men (not necessarily handsome men) have orbiters, sure. Girl orbiters don’t come over to fix the disposal, tho. They just kind of hang around and moon at you and hope you’ll talk to them. “Ohhhhh! He said hi to me. He likes me!”

    You’re preemptively disqualifying your competition as “sluts”. So typically feminine. Silly girl. lol

    AWALT

  • diomede

    @scribblerg – well you can’t forget the ‘switch’ part of the bait and switch. they’re good for about 4-6 months in my experience. and as for utility, I meant sex but I find they’ll do all manner of things for a high value male. I had one even younger, mowing my lawn for a while.

  • Dale

    That 10% isn’t the percent that have tried to get intimate with her; it is the percent that have proposed. Only some of the plan B’s are ‘guys I might trade plan A in for’; some are ‘if plan A dumps me’.

  • theasdgamer

    If a woman has optimized her Hypergamy, will she have a Plan B? Andy was getting at this with his reference to alpha widows.

    If a woman has been well trained, she might not cuckold her husband, but she may withhold sex constantly. Plan B is B.O.B. (battery operated boyfriend).

  • kfg

    ” . . . they’re good for about 4-6 months . . .”

    Yes, six months seems to be about the limit they’ll put in on a provider hunt.

    “I meant sex . . .”

    Yes, I knew what you meant, that’s why my comment took the form it did.

    “I had one even younger, mowing my lawn for a while.”

    Oh yes, they’ll do all sorts of things, but I hold that what they do is utile only if it doesn’t require me to spend more time doing it over correctly than if I had just done it myself in the first place.

  • scribblerg

    A high SMV women will always have options. @Liz – I cosign completely. And this is the point I want to make to all the guys here who think they can “alpha through” this.

    – There is always a higher SMV man than you. Repeat that if you can’t get that. At some point she will actually be propositioned by a higher SMV guy. No matter how much of an alpha dog you are.

    – A high SMV woman doesn’t just have one Plan B. She has a multitude of options thrown at her all the time. Mystery tries to beat this into guys in his video course. He claims the average hottie is approached by 10-15 guys a day if she’s out in public for the day. While that may be a bit of an exaggeration, it’s not by much. Consider what happens to a woman like this? If you demand too much of her, she will bolt. My case is instructive.

    My ex became increasingly bitchy and less interested in sex starting about a year after our daughter was born. She stopped doing her housework (was a stay at home Mom with a part time waitressing job that she didn’t need at a certain point but kept, couple of shifts a week), and me being the Blue Pill, pedestalizer, I didn’t understand. So I pitched in and did the laundry and grocery shopping and other errands after working 60+ hours a week. I tried to understand her. No change. I put my foot down and told her I was ending the marriage when I was 28 (she was 30) and she pulled the 180 of 180s. In 3 days she went from loathing me actively to the happy home maker, mother of the year and seductress and I relented.

    But she reverted to form as soon as she had me locked down again. Then when I was 29, after having serious interest from another high value woman, I realized I simply could not take it anymore. I made up my mind that I didn’t want to be the guy who cheated and put up with a bitchy wife so I told her to figure out what she wanted in the marriage and either get in or get out. She’d found a long hair in the car and accused me of cheating, so she knew I had options.

    What did she do then? Instead of making her mind up, she began fucking the chef at the restaurant where she worked part time, at a job she no longer needed. Get this, my ex was an HB9, both homecoming queen and prom queen in her senior yr of high school. Btw, she started fucking him like immediately after I gave her my utlimatum. I think I gave her the impression I had my Plan B staged, and this is part of the lesson. Put differently, I think you have to be very careful about inducing dread with a high SMV wife. The first time worked well, the second time pushed her into another guy’s arms.

    But in classic female fashion, she didn’t have the integrity to tell me she checked out. I spent the next 7 months “waiting for her to make up her mind” while she was fucking the chef blind. In our house when I wasn’t home, hanging with our daughter, in the car and people knew it. Me? I was “giving her space” and focusing on my own contribution to the marriage. I tried to be a “good husband” by being considerate, not going out after work, helping around the house as much as I could. I was already a dedicated father but doubled down on that too.

    But she never made up her mind or told me shit. Instead, I finally had it after she forgot our wedding anniversary. She was highly disinterested in sex with me during this period of time but I was trying to be sympathetic and was “giving her space” to figure shit out. But I hit my limit. I told her we were done, took my wedding ring off and went out and fucked a hot Russian woman that night (SNL) and didn’t come home.

    It was interesting. We were two high SMV people and I think that both of us having options made us less likely to put up with each other’s bullshit. I finally figured out she’d been fucking the chef for the previous 7 months (probably had done so before that too) and confronted her. She was waffling. She bounced back and forth. I’d had it, so I moved out. But she and I had sex on and off over the next couple of years too. It was bizarre and only now with the Red Pill does it make any sense. Fyi, she chewed up and spit out the next guy too after 6-7 years, just as she’d done with me, but hung in an extra 5 years with him because she didn’t want to have a second divorce and have to admit that maybe the failure of our marriage wasn’t all me. She told me this in a moment of “honesty”.

    The lesson? High SMV women are hard to lock down. Their tolerance for your BS is lower due to their options. They will put you through more of their BS because they have options. Since her, I’ve dated many beautiful women and I began to notice a trend in their behavior. I called them “better dealers” in that there was a certain kind of hot woman who is always looking for a better deal. Now that I’ve taken the Red Pill I know they all are “better dealers”.

    This presents a conundrum for a man who wants to get married. In today’s world a high SMV woman has not only better deals but also an ample supply of Beta orbiters she can feed her ego off of. The narcissism and solipsism combine to make the field quite lopsided in her favor. And given there is little social punishment for divorce, well, a man is playing with a loaded gun. And while every man wants to think he can alpha up and game his wife and dominate her etc, in fact, the game is stacked against you. You are not on a level playing field. I pressed my position and she simply hopped on the Plan B cock.

    Now, it’s also true that I didn’t game her properly and was a Blue Pill in some ways. But I was also a natural and high SMV myself. As her sister told her one day when I was in earshot without her knowing, “He looks like GQ model in that suit, Kathy, why on earth would ever have let him go?” It’s also true that she wore the guy she went with down to a nub eventually, who she admitted she had wilder sex with -. Their sex life went down the tubes too. She has Covert NPD, but I often wonder if that was just because she had so many options and resented having to settle down with any one man? Did the non-stop presentation of options she experienced make her a bitch? Would she have settled down and been happy with any man in today’s world? She seemed to feel entitled to her bitchiness and was shocked when I began to simply not tolerate it.

    I’ve come to believe that the only approach is to hunt a unicorn if you want to get married. High quality but perhaps the not most attractive woman you can find – a couple of SMV points lower than you, yes? Low to no sexual experience. But then again, that sounds good on paper, yet in the real world, I always went after 8-10s and wasn’t happy with anything less so I’m not sure I could have ever done that. My point? The social conditioning and social ecology we live in has made this a minefield for men. And good luck with the unicorn hunting…

    Note to the married guys: I think many of you have made it through your wive’s epiphany phases. My ex did all this from age 28 to 32. It was like her bitch level just exploded and it seems to me that the felt compelled to optimize. I think as a woman’s options decrease she will behave differently, but in the case of a super hottie like my ex, who looked young for a long time, she still felt like she had options long after this period too so became a bitch to the next guy too. But I’m not sure she would have settled with any man during this period, who knows…

    Just sayin’… Just keep in mind she kicked me to curb when I was just busting through 100k in earnings with a trajectory to go much higher, was objectively a good looking man, and had natural social dominance. Try to get your head around that. And good luck out there. My motto today? Plates, plates, plates, plates plates…Never rely on one woman. Keep them all guessing and always have options. At my age, anything else would be idiocy.

  • Adam W

    A couple of adverts to add to the “evidence for Open Hypergamy” file:

    and

    (You’ll need to wait until the final couple of seconds of that last one.)

  • Johnycomelately

    I found this comment from the linked post by Daisy interesting.

    “Signalling high status through strategic low-key rejections is a tactic that also works on men. In fact given that women have historically had much higher stakes in acquiring a partner, it was women who invented the strategy.

    – “play hard to get” /”no thanks, I’m washing my hair” only regendered and with a boatload of contempt for the target gender added in.
    -“be more physically attractive and confident”– amazingly, this strategy also works when women use it on men.”

    On a macro level we are seeing a tectonic shift engendered by the FI to entrench higher female status and keep the beta peons on the approval seeking treadmill, a quasi inter sexual feudalism.

    Rules for thee but not for me.

    The redpill can be seen as the first shot in the status Reconquista. Plate theory is the eminent abundance (low-key rejection) status signalling mechanism for men.

    I think herbivores and MGTOW are effectively engaging in the same behaviour but in the only manner available to their low psych/sexual rank. A passive aggressive form of preemptive rejection, “It’s not me it’s you.”

  • Not Born This Morning

    The key to this is knowing that your sexual fulfillment and sense of personal security can only emanate from you controlling your life, never from any particular woman. Exclusive dependance can only occur after eleminating other options. Options provide manuverability which covers your ass. Becoming exclusively dependent on a relationship with any particular woman for any reason creates a condition of insecurity. This is why marriage is ostensibly secure but in reality is insecure as it compulsively demands “commitment”. Why sacrifice power for a false sense of security? The best security is your own power.

  • Liz

    Gamer: “You’re preemptively disqualifying your competition as “sluts”. So typically feminine. Silly girl.”

    I’m not disqualifying them as competition in the sexual marketplace. That’s just risk management advice. If you place a premium on loyalty, don’t get hitched to a party girl (an anytime party girl, it’s a character assessment thing).

  • Stingray

    If a woman has optimized her Hypergamy, will she have a Plan B?

    If he doesn’t make it clear that he can do just fine without her, then she might. People think that a man inducing dread is cruel because it hurts her feelings. All it does is make clear in her mind is what it at stake.

    What people find cruel about it is that the dread, when it works, limits her options.

  • IAS

    I think it is relevant to note that Plan B doesn’t even need to be strictly another man, and could be (for a specific example) family.

    I think that when we talk about plan B we are mostly discussing women having a lined up option for covering provider roles, more so than lover roles, so whatever falls in the BB side of hypergamy.

    I suspect that is at least partly behind certain changes of behavior from wives after having a kid (or more) – they get the attention and validation there, at least for a few years, automatic plan B.

    Going in the other direction, particularly younger women with doting parents (any examples come to mind?) have that as a solid plan B, again, at least for a few years, automatic plan B.

    More reasons for husbands to strive to focus on the AF side of hypergamy – women tend not to get that from family (hopefully)!

  • BC

    Liz, women of just about any appearance/condition can reliably get men 1 to 2 SMV points above them to given them attention and/or a relationship. In contrast, men (minus game, i.e. betas) are generally unable to date/mate equality, and usually end up settling for 1 to 2 SMV points below their own.

    This is due to the 80-20 rule of attraction (80% of women are acceptable to most men, but only the top 20% of men are attractive to women), and is a large part of the difference in abundance outlook.

    Even if the ” obese, purple-haired woman who shops with her matching purple dog” has a SMV value of 0, she can still get attention from men with a SMV of 1 or 2, which is higher than her actual SMV but may be lower than her self-perceived SMV. It is this gap between real and self-perceived SMV that makes even such a woman complain that no one (she wants) will give her attention.

    In contrast, men with a SMV of 0 to 2 are basically shit-outta-luck.

  • scribblerg

    And @NBTM deigns to explain “abundance mentality” with one of his usual word salads, lol. Zzzzz…

  • Vitriol

    @Not Born This Morning

    “Becoming exclusively dependent on a relationship with any particular woman for any reason creates a condition of insecurity. This is why marriage is ostensibly secure but in reality is insecure as it compulsively demands “commitment”. Why sacrifice power for a false sense of security? The best security is your own power.”

    This is why it’s so dangerous for guys to get married at a young age or enter into a monogamous LTR before they reach an age where they have some kind of status and emotional security. Almost every one of my close male friends when I was in the late teens to early 20s range experienced a bad breakup and totally lost it psychologically to the point where a couple of them actually needed counseling and psychiatric medication. I’ve heard stories of guys in this age range who were enlisted in the military take their own lives while on deployment when they found out about their girlfriend or wife’s infidelity. From what I’ve seen in my own life so far, young men really do take a huge hit from a breakup due to this condition of insecurity (which is a necessary part of entering into a relationship at that young of an age).

    Contrast that with the stories you hear about “show marriages” that high status men usually enter into for political, financial, or social reasons. It’s fairly common practice for those guys to have mistresses on the side, and their wives are really only there for public appearances. Guys like Bill Clinton and Tiger Woods aren’t the only men in this category fucking around on the side, they just got caught. Consider that men who are a bit older and higher status (their own established power creates personal security) are much less likely to lose it from a divorce or a breakup. Likely because they already have a history of getting their sexual needs met outside of the confines of monogamy, and can easily continue to do so after their public relationship ends.

  • theasdgamer

    @ scribberg

    There is always a higher SMV man than you.

    Lol, indeed.

    At some point she will actually be propositioned by a higher SMV guy

    Mrs. Gamer reports, “No.” In theory, if a woman doesn’t mateguard herself, she might be propositioned by a higher SMV man. Girls who have been well-trained will run away from these odd opportunities before problems arise.

    He claims the average hottie is approached by 10-15 guys a day if she’s out in public for the day.

    HB7-8, sure. HB9, maybe 1-2 approaches. HB10 almost never.

    My ex became increasingly bitchy and less interested in sex starting about a year after our daughter was born

    Lots of shit tests. Oodles.

    She stopped doing her housework

    Major shit test.

    was a stay at home Mom with a part time waitressing job

    Waitressing was a major shit test. Normally not, but combined with SAHM and not doing housework, it was a major shit test.

    me being the Blue Pill, pedestalizer

    Pedestalizing a woman is always beta. Alphas may white knight, but they don’t pedestalize women. Betas aren’t high SMV. Your behavior showed that you thought of yourself as lower SMV than your wife. You felt lucky to have her.

    I didn’t understand. So I pitched in and did the laundry and grocery shopping and other errands after working 60+ hours a week.

    Major shit test fail. Heartbreaking.

    I tried to understand her.

    Blue Pill sucks.

    I put my foot down and told her I was ending the marriage

    Dread. You alpha’d up.

    In 3 days she went from loathing me actively to the happy home maker, mother of the year and seductress

    She liked the new, handsome, alpha you.

    But she reverted to form as soon as she had me locked down again.

    You morphed back into a beta troll. Ughhh!

    Then when I was 29, after having serious interest from another high value woman, I realized I simply could not take it anymore. I made up my mind that I didn’t want to be the guy who cheated and put up with a bitchy wife so I told her to figure out what she wanted in the marriage and either get in or get out. She’d found a long hair in the car and accused me of cheating, so she knew I had options.

    Accusing you of cheating was a nuclear shit test. (Short term, you could hide your low self-esteem, but girls eventually saw it. So, you could get sex but not maintain the attraction for long. Your ex understood this about you.) What happened when she accused you of cheating? Did you lol or matter-of-factl-ly deny it or amp it up or walk away (all alpha responses) or defend yourself (beta)?

    The lesson? High SMV women are hard to lock down.

    Not this. Seek a woman for whom you are her optimized Hypergamy, if you want to marry. A girl who will chase you throughout your marriage. Even better is a woman who has been well-trained. Mrs. Gamer would run from someone like YaReally. Really? Ya. Really. And he’s almost assuredly higher SMV than I am.

    Only trust a woman who knows how to mateguard herself. She doesn’t do Girls’ Night Out, have slutty friends, etc.

    GNO? Shit test.

    Slutty friends? Shit test.

    Puts her phone no. on fb? Shit test.

    Has privacy on her phone and media? Won’t let you look at her phone or media accounts? Shit test.

  • scribblerg

    And then there’s this. Completely off-topic and two weeks old. Gavin McInnes is one of my favorite commentators and comedians on earth right now. Not because I always agree with him, but because he’s an unabashed alpha dog wilding through society. Check out his takedown of that gaping Mangina, Ezra Klein. It’s epic. He defines ZFG.

  • Oblivion

    My live in girlfriend has pulled the whole I can leave you blah blah. I simply told her that if she wanted to date down that was her choice. I would be sad but I’m sure a few woman would tend my broken wing lol. The punch in the arm I received established that I’m man of abundance. If she wants to leave she ll leave, your only trump card is that you will be swimming in younger tighter vagina. Women are like money,both don’t care about the morals of who owns them. Both come and go. Just cause you spent $100 doesn’t mean it’s the last $100 on earth. A hundred dollar bill is more rare than a $5 bill, but commen enough not to get bent outta shape over it. This cold calculating way of looking a things is a tingle producer. (Dark triad)

  • theasdgamer

    @ Liz, Stingray

    My answer to both of you is the same. A woman who has optimized her Hypergamy will be chasing a man. She will limit her own options in her own mind. Such a woman will be too busy chasing the man to worry about other men. Other men will be unwelcome distractions from her mission. This is just as true of party girls as of well-trained girls.

  • Not Born This Morning

    Those who maintain control of themselves to the disappointment of others who wish to control them are often accused of “dominating” in negative ways. One simple example of this strategy is the common “If you don’t do such and such, give this or that, then you are selfish” claim. “Guys who aren’t willing to make a commitment are being selfish”. Those of us who maintain control of ourselves do dominate what happens to us and what we decide to do or not do. We are often attacked with accusations of being too dominate when we are not as we are simply controlling what we are willing to do or aren’t willing to do. The key to understanding this indirect attempt to manipulate is knowing what is intended by “aren’t willing”.

    Who has the right to control who’s will?

  • SD

    While it’s true thirty-something guys (honestly I’d even put it past 25) without wives ,divorces , or child support have it good, the flip side is they must be hyper vigilant against the Matriarchial System.

    One; expect friends to shame you for being single even as their wives hand you a metric ton of IOIs. A sociopathic redpill man can make quite a harem out of his buddies’ wives . An event of note; a pal I was drinking with lectured me about being “alone and unhappy” while both his long term girlfriend and the waitress visibly checked me out. Yeah, I’ll get right on that whole marriage thing.

    Two; business is female dominated .
    Going into why and how would turn this post into a dissertation on sociology and American capitalism with a healthy dose of resurgent feminism to boot.In short businesses make more money marketing to consumerist females then they can to beta men who have to answer for every dollar they spend.

    Internally, offices are composed mainly of dutiful beta males still living under The First Set of Books while being socially controlled by their female coworkers. Not an environment which tolerates a man not upholding the Matriarchial System. Discussing redpill topics and plate spinning in that environment is an excellent way to marginalize your career. A 30 something guy spinning plates, rocking a new Mercedes , and stacking up money in investment accounts will quickly draw the ire of married men who can’t even buy a stick of gum without being yelled at by Wifey.

    The contrast is somewhat stark. I have a sports car, paid off daily driver, money in the bank, a sweet condo and I make probably half of what the management does . Yet those dudes are in debt, and pushing 10 year old beaters while moaning about running out of money before the month is out.

    Being a bachelor spinning plates today has much in common with being gay in 1950s America. There’s a whole society out there who thinks we and every man alive who doesn’t eagerly want to be a Beta slave is broken.

  • redlight

    Wow, that Sandberg quote is basically encouraging women to embrace AF/BB

    @emily Rollo has only used that quote about a hundred times before, only somebody who couldn’t be bothered to read the site would be wow’ed

    Speaking of husband snaring, here’s the plot of the romantic novel The Husband Quest

    Jilly Hart has been called any number of things… gold-digger, trophy wife, etc. She had lived a hard life as a child and refuses to ever succumb to that again. In her world, there is no such thing as love or magic, only money and assets. When her latest in a string of rich elderly husband dies, she finds out she doesn’t have a penny to her name… only an old inn in South Fork, Arkansas.

    Yareally is his family’s ladies man. He has always been the brother all the women were crazy about, and he has more notches in his bedpost than most men his age. But when his latest relationship goes south after he proposes, he decides he is tired of the life he had been living, and goes to make a new one in Arkansas. There he takes a job restoring an old inn that is rumored to be haunted.

    When Jilly arrives at the inn, shocking Yareally when she tells him she’s the owner, and wants a partnership to restore it and sell it, they settle on a fair deal. Neither expected the attraction they’d feel for one another, but can’t act on. Jilly needs to go about the business of finding her next rich husband, and Yareally has decided there will be no more sex for him without love. What they didn’t know was that they would find exactly what they needed… in each other.

    Okay, the alpha’s name wasn’t Yareally but Evan, but otherwise the plot feels very realistic for women

  • kfg

    @Scribbler:

    NBTM’s path may have been a bit circuitous, but in this case he did actually manage to arrive at the correct destination.

    Go figure.

  • Harlequin

    @scribblerg

    That’s a fantastic post, thank you for sharing. I wish I could get my Dad to sit down and read it, some areas would line up well for him.

    He’s currently going through his third divorce, but is still deliberating on whether he wants to get back together with her. She of course went from no sex to them fucking on the reg since the divorce. I would consider both very high SMV (more so for his success and personality than any looks).

    I’ve talked to him and he agrees with me on red pill points regarding the relationship, but something is just not letting him let go. She is an expert manipulator though I will give her that, and just when I think he’s straightened his mind out something will come up.

    I wonder whether it’s a similar unbelievability he can’t get his head around. He’s commanding and brilliant, is the most successful he’s ever been, and has an abundance of female attention. Why would she bail now? The sheer illogicality of women can really fuck up men. If you presented it as a business relationship he wouldnt have to think twice.

    It’s very fustrating to have men who embody alpha in every other aspect of their lives fail to understand women. He is very narcissistic so I wonder whether an element of ego protection comes into it.

    For her, she gets her payday and chance to (in her mind) optimise again, at the small price of depriving my young brothers of a father figure (who needs men anyway when you have projection). This game playing afterwards just comes across as an excercise in regaining control to me, and maybe a slight paincked realisation that her SMV isn’t what it was before the marriage. Definitely a case of looking fantastic into 30’s delaying the psychological effects of the wall.

    Seeing the older guys here doing so well is definitely an inspiration and I will redouble my efforts to push him into the light.

  • scribblerg

    @All – Point of order. Any analysis of my comment should be accompanied by whether the man commenting has managed to marry a combo homecoming queen/prom queen. And has fucked and had as GFs a significant number of HB8-9s. If not, he’s LARPing. Merely dancing and flirting with them doesn’t count,. Only P in V and the HBs having social proof that they were high value – like my ex, who’s ass got a half page photo in her high school yearbook, labeled “Best Butt” will suffice as qualification to comment. If you haven’t been with women like that, well, I guess that’s the very definition of keyboard jockeying…

    And oh yeah, I’ll trust Mystery’s take on the experience of hot woman any day…Or mine with my HB9.5 GF who was pelted with male interest nonstop when she was out and about. The field tells all. I was hanging out with my good friend’s HB10 one day, playing guitar in the park while he went off to do something. Within 2 mins a guy was hitting on her aggressively. Sure, some men are completely shut down by beautiful women (chodes, AFCs, spergs) but the population of males is larger than that…

  • kfg

    “This game playing afterwards just comes across as an excercise in regaining control to me, and maybe a slight paincked realisation that her SMV isn’t what it was before the marriage.”

    Well yeah, but only because that’s exactly what it is. I’ve been there, done that and realized that she was yanking my chain just to prove that she could about half way through the first time I complied with the yank.

    I didn’t let it happen again.

    I note that I left her when she was 29 . . . and 1/2. Her hamster damned near exploded.

  • kfg

    @Scribbler: ” . . . Merely dancing and flirting with them doesn’t count”

    Owwww, that’s gonna leave a mark.

  • Stingray

    A woman who has optimized her Hypergamy will be chasing a man. She will limit her own options in her own mind.

    A woman won’t do this without said training once she’s married. Because her whole life has taught her otherwise.

    Hence dread. It is the ultimate trainer.

  • rugby11

    @Merciless times
    “Talking about this with women scares them and makes them angry, because they know it is true and you are conscious of it.”

    My anger came from being humiliated as a child pointing out every experience of a red pill man who works with the world as it is as opposed to how you want it to be.
    Women’s anger comes from what I can see as something you as a male should get over. It’s harsh and raw. I don’t see things getting any better but the humiliation is something that discourages dialogue. No one ever taught me anything other than hypergamy as a child in my household. They did discourage me pointing out that religion and society where both trying to teach me the same thing. Beta and provider… Sex is sinful and shameful unless women do it in which case it’s “social progress.” Feel shame for wanting human affection and any environment not controlled by women is deemed unlawful.

  • Sentient

    Asdgamer scribblerg

    Lol. I think asd’s breakdown was spot on. Shit tests a plenty. Men would be wise to pay careful attention. All women shit test and are hypergamous. Objective reality has nothing to do with it.

    Learn your lessons from others experiences.

  • Sentient

    Scribbs

    When you gave her an ultimatum the first time it worked because it was authentic and alpha. When you reverted you proved to her you arent alpha. When you gave your adult sized child the power to decide the fate of the marriage you confirmed beyond doubt you were not alpha.

    So she monkey branched. To a lower smv guy as well, who was actually alpha to her. It had nothing to do with her looks. This story plays out the same for 3s as 9s.

  • Eon56

    The plan b shit is something you’ve no choice to accept if you are going to date a woman who is even remotely attractive. This is why I can’t date anymore. I can’t accept that. And you can’t keep her from jumping ship. It’s not even a matter of being alpha enough. Regardless of how alpha you are, she’s going to get bored. And boredom is simply all it takes. The next man need not even be as good as you are.

    Last couple women I’ve been with:

    First girl is getting married in like two months. The fiancee is unsatisfying in various ways, namely socially and sexually. Left her at a bar one night with me and other friends. She asked for a ride and I said I needed gas money. She had no money so I said well I guess you gotta suck my dick. That was all she needed to hear.

    Second is an ex. Cheated on boyfriend with me and then dumped him and wants me back, I turn her down. She is furious. Continues sleeping with me though. Tells me the other day she hasn’t cut the boyfriend she dumped completely out yet. Not really news to me (he’s plan b now if she can’t get me). Also tells me she got drunk and showed a guy friend (plan C) who’s coming to town to visit family and friends her tits. I said what you gonna fuck this guy too. She pretended to be ashamed and such. Then admitted they had talked about it. Not surprised, suspected as much when she told me he was coming to visit. I was right to avoid exclusivity. I liked this one a lot though.

    These are just my experiences so far with the open cuckoldry thing. I’m 24 and the girls are the same age.

    These chicks don’t just have plan b’s. They have a C, D, F, and so on. And then you gotta worry about if they have an alpha they like to get nasty for too.

    You can’t win. Not by being exclusive at least

  • Rollo Tomassi

    On a macro level we are seeing a tectonic shift engendered by the FI to entrench higher female status and keep the beta peons on the approval seeking treadmill, a quasi inter sexual feudalism.

    Intersexual Feudalism, good analogy. That feudalism is entrenched in the mindsets of most Beta men to the point that it’s prompted intersexual competition strategies amongst them. Have a look at one of Dalrock’s most recent posts about the male “Pastors” who perpetuate exactly this feudalism:

    https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2016/03/11/androcentric-chimps-chimping/

    All of them attempt to AMOG the men in their congregations from the pulpit and value signal to women (and their wives), but they do so in the context of this feminine-primary intersexual feudalism. However they do so by perpetuating that same endless qualifying for her intimate approval “or else”, and that “or else” is the same veiled threat and dread that’s used in this Plan B article:

    These survey results suggest men should make sure they are attentive to their women’s needs, even when the relationship is on the rocks. In a blog post on TheArtofCharm.com, a site dedicated to helping people develop world class social skills, the academy wrote: “Keeping your girlfriend interested is part of keeping your relationship healthy. Make no mistake about it — the “game” never ends. It’s always going to go on and you’re always going to have to try and keep the relationship fresh. The good news is that this isn’t a chore. On the contrary, it’s a heck of a lot of fun.”

    This is a wake-up call for couples who let their relationships become routine and let the romance die. This is when couples look elsewhere for the fresh and exciting fun they once experienced with each other.

    Men, don’t be replaced with a Plan B man. Be your lady’s Plan A and only plan by keeping the romance alive.

    You see, dread from a feminine perspective is a given both within and without monogamy. It’s acceptable for women to base an entire marriage on passive dread. There is never a consideration that a woman would ever need to qualify for the intimacy, attention or provisioning of a husband, in fact doing so, or even feeling a concern for doing so is equated with spousal abuse.

  • Rollo Tomassi

    I actually expected NBTM’s response and I’d agree with him, a woman should only ever be a complement to a man’s life, never the focus of it. And again, he’s correct about men needing to be their own mental point of origin.

    Women don’t want to be a man’s “everything” and the meta shit test is one where his demonstrating that he ‘just gets it’ means he’s got the options and self-concern to be fearless in the face of exactly this veiled dread.

    “Becoming exclusively dependent on a relationship with any particular woman for any reason creates a condition of insecurity. This is why marriage is ostensibly secure but in reality is insecure as it compulsively demands “commitment”. Why sacrifice power for a false sense of security? The best security is your own power.”

    Again, nothing I would disagree with. However the social narrative is one in which a woman’s imperative is expect to be the correct one shared by men. Compulsory demands of commitment are really compulsory abdication of power on the part of men. And when men abdicate that power they are no longer the men women want to be committed to. That is the meta shit test, that a man can see through this scheme and resist it.

  • SJB

    @scribblerg: ZFG about your high school yearbook.

  • Liz

    Gamer:
    “@ Liz, Stingray
    My answer to both of you is the same. A woman who has optimized her Hypergamy will be chasing a man. She will limit her own options in her own mind. Such a woman will be too busy chasing the man to worry about other men. Other men will be unwelcome distractions from her mission. This is just as true of party girls as of well-trained girls.”

    I’m not going to argue the above isn’t true in theory, but I have NEVER seen a party girl who purposely “limited her own options” for any real period of time. At least, not one that wasn’t long in the tooth and past her expiration date (which is early, for the party girl). I’ve known a great many of these sorts of people.

    Party girls (former, current, aspiring and whatnot) are always working it. And there are practical limitations on how long a guy can try to balance that one to keep him in the perpetual “optimized hypergamy” state of being. Especially in the real world with work obligations and travel and so forth.

  • Harlequin

    @Eon

    Same age and very similar experiences lately.

    Girl I was seeing who had just accepted her boyfriends proposal made an embarrassing hail mary play the day after. Proclaimed her undying love and begged me to commit and start dating her seriously. This was a couple of months ago and I stopped it after that, way beyond my moral code by that point.

    Another girl who I actually fell for, had a fantastic time whenever we were together but always played the your so much better than me card. Of course that was just to get me to beta up and qualify my affection. Turns out she was dating three guys at the same time as me. She chose one of the of the others. Wont fall for that one again.

    I wouldn’t let it stop me dating though. Just be prepared to accept there will be Plan B’s (C’s, D’s, Z’s) and have a very clear up-front line of how much you will accept, and immediately jump first if she goes past it. Acting as chill as possible about it always ruffles their feathers as well. This is the stage I’m at with current girl, gonna try and demote to plate if poss, and ditch otherwise.

    As you say going for the never ending plate set-up helps this, but even that doesn’t cut the drama entirely in my experience.

  • Wild Man

    @NBTM – “Who has the right to control who’s will?”

    Nailed it. Next question is “Who is you?”. Best to define that unencumbered, as much as as possible, by undue outside influence, but yes the “due” outside influence impinging upon oneself must be taken into consideration, but in no way does it wholly define who a person is, unless they decide that is the way it is for themselves, (which in that eventuality is usually decided rather unconsciously), which is hollow as fuck (not providing a psychic space for a deep level of self-respect) and is therefore probably gonna cause some bad feelings for the person. What a person does with those feelings is key.

  • scray

    whoever you’re with should have a plan B, lol.

    i don’t want to be with a chick no one else wants to fuck.

    no one gives a shit if you make some frumpy dumpy chick no one is chasing into your personal domestic goddess. they care when you take a hottie off the market in that way.

    and ya there won’t be one plan B. there will be several orbiters.

    just this weekend i had to deal with some dude staring daggers into a girl i was out with, another dude literally coming and sitting down in my seat after i got up to take a piss, another dude just openly hitting on her at the bar right in front of me, another dude doing the ‘nice buddy buddy guy’ act, eh…..

    but hey, I -did- tell her to look hot for me that night, so, i mean….

  • Punchline

    A quote from commenter “SD”

    A sociopath red-pill man can make quite a harem out of his buddies’ wives .

    Quote of the year – so far.

  • scray

    “Party girls (former, current, aspiring and whatnot) are always working it. And there are practical limitations on how long a guy can try to balance that one to keep him in the perpetual “optimized hypergamy” state of being. Especially in the real world with work obligations and travel and so forth.”

    party girls are the easiest.

    they get attached pretty fast if you demonstrate any kindness or idk, any hint of ‘nice’ traits after laying it down well.

    good sex + egg mcmuffin = they get super attached.

    it’s kind of annoying sometimes, mainly because of their attitudes on the front end.

  • Liz

    Scray and Emily sittin’ in a tree…

  • scray

    @liz

    haven’t really read any of your comments but the last one.

    only real point is that IME there isn’t much of a difference between ‘party girls’ and uh ‘normal’ girls.

  • Liz

    I’m just teasing you, Scray.😛

  • TuffLuv

    @scribblerg

    Amen brother.. my exact experience with the 28 year old I mentioned some months ago.. what a fun gal, and complete slave in the sack.. but then shit got serious as fuck, like a lightswitch.. not much fun, had to cut and run.

  • Liz

    Forgot to add: Just don’t marry one.
    There is a vast difference there.

  • LeeLee

    You know what this makes me think of? Meghan Trainor’s new song No. Ugh I can’t even listen to it all the way because it’s so gross, but it IS all about creating this illusion of security and abundance, even for fat, old, unattractive women.

    She’s the feminine imperative’s hench(wo)man

  • Liz

    Could you be more specific, Lee lee? I’d never heard of this person, but when I copied and pasted, “Meghan Trainor’s new song” it gave me this one. I like it a lot.

  • theasdgamer

    @ Sentient

    Asdgamer scribblerg

    Lol. I think asd’s breakdown was spot on. Shit tests a plenty. Men would be wise to pay careful attention.

    Lol, just a sperg spergin. Nothing to see here, move along, move along.

    I think that scrib has a point about Dread. It can be overdone and comfort will have to be given at times–holding a girl while she sobs and cuddling. I’ve trained Mrs. Gamer to not expect a lot of comfort, but she still needs some from time to time.

    Married women can get an ASD spike after sex, so rapport is often essential right after sex.

    Lol @ kfg

    @Scribbler: ” . . . Merely dancing and flirting with them doesn’t count”

    Owwww, that’s gonna leave a mark.

    My ZFG Game has now branched over to men. My “awesomeness” apparently is very intimidating to the non-distaff sex. I need to work on my comfort Game with men in order to avoid appearing intimidating. I’m better at it in person than online, likely because I get more nonverbal feedback in person.

  • Anonymous Reader

    Before reading the OP I secured a cup of caffeine. Then I went to Youtube and got the club / EXP mix of this classic by Destiny6.

    Perfect background music….perfect.

    Bonus: This vid from the early 1980’s is easy to explain, if yer Scray, YaReally, Roissy, RSD, and so forth, while leaving bluepillers totally confused, but fascinated.

  • kfg

    @Gamer:

    Well, at least you know you’re one of the gang, because we all know exactly who he was taking a swing at without needing to be told.

  • redlight

    Meghan Trainor’s new song THAT IS CALLED No.

    fixed for the pop challenged

  • theasdgamer

    @Liz, can you seriously imagine any party girl I married cuckolding me? Lol, I won’t even tolerate a woman to flake on me or a woman with whom I’m dancing to flirt with another man. And a wife of mine must mateguard herself. That’s what the engagement period will expose.

    To be sure, I did have a fling with an engaged woman on the down low, so it’s possible that I might get cucked. She wasn’t a party girl from what I could tell, though she did come to a party to which I invited her. That girl was very popular with my frat bros. at the party, heh.

    Me being relationship avoidant + ZFG + Dread + a well-trained (by her father) wife + good relationship Game = no worries

    @ Stingray

    Sure, Dread can aid with training. Training a girl should be done by her father beginning at adolescence.

  • redlight

    Nasty Girl is of course written by Prince

    from Wikipedia:

    Lead singer Vanity, who later became a Christian preacher, subsequently denounced the song and told members of her congregation who listened to the song to “keep praying for the Holy Spirit and the Virgin Emily”

  • Liz

    OH! The name is “No”? Lol.
    Okay, I got about 50 seconds into the song and stopped.
    I got it now. Yes, it sucks.
    Thanks.:-)

  • Big-Al

    If a plan B is her failsafe, I’ll keep my self esteem and sense of abundance as a failsafe. Funny how that game buffers against her even needing a plan B…

    P.S. Did SJF change his name to SJB or did I miss something?

  • Liz

    Vanity was a party girl. Didn’t go well for her.

  • Liz

    “@Liz, can you seriously imagine any party girl I married cuckolding me?

    No, but I don’t have to.
    You didn’t marry a party girl.

    People are the products of their values and habits. A person who is a train wreck, habitually, is going to be a train wreck in marriage. Yes, there are things a guy can do to cure that, but an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

  • Sun Wukong

    @redlight

    Just looked up the lyrics. I honestly can’t believe women will sing along with that tune and celebrate their GRRL POWER, then turn around and lament about where all the good men have gone. I’m all for women being selective, but songs that celebrate being an unapologetic cunt about it are like songs celebrating being a shitty winner.

    I’ll tell you exactly where all the good men went sweetheart: they’re out looking for women who genuinely find lyrics and sentiments like that revolting. It’s just yet another case of first world women completely lacking Girl Game.

  • theasdgamer

    @ SJB

    @scribblerg: ZFG about your high school yearbook.

    @scribblerg: ZFG about your high school wankbook.

    There. Corrected it.

  • Stingray

    Training a girl should be done by her father beginning at adolescence.

    I’d argue as a toddler, but that’s beside the point.

    As to your point, sure. “Should” being the operative word.

  • theasdgamer

    I honestly can’t believe women will sing along with that tune and celebrate their GRRL POWER, then turn around and lament about where all the good men have gone.

    Then they’ll order fried ice. The Hamster is truly amazing.

  • SJB

    @Big-Al: SJF and SJB are independent and unique commenters despite two coincidences.

  • kfg

    “I’d argue as a toddler . . .”

    I’ve said it before, so I guess this will make saying it again, but a girl who doesn’t know how to play the game by the time she’s six (even if she doesn’t know why yet) is retarded and you should start to worry about her.

  • Stingray

    kfg,

    Six year olds are better at it than the vast majority of women today.

  • Not Born This Morning

    @Wild Man -“Next question is “Who is you?”. Best to define that unencumbered, as much as as possible, by undue outside influence, but yes the “due” outside influence impinging upon oneself must be taken into consideration, but in no way does it wholly define who a person is, unless they decide that is the way it is for themselves, (which in that eventuality is usually decided rather unconsciously), which is hollow as fuck (not providing a psychic space for a deep level of self-respect) and is therefore probably gonna cause some bad feelings for the person. What a person does with those feelings is key.”

    Who is “you”? or “who am I?” are futile questions. They cannot be considered seriously without prior self denial. Any “definition” of self requires comparison or contrast to other “selves”, expectations, but perceptions, and various aspects of the whole dynamic. When we ask “who am I?”, we digress from “I am”. The person who “knows” himself understands that attempts to define himself or search for his “real self” or “really get to know himself” are in fact digressions away from himself.

Speak your mind

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 12,401 other followers

%d bloggers like this: