Lately I’ve been refocusing my take on the process of mens’ unplugging and dealing with a new Red Pill informed way of living. The Gamer Girls post, while intentionally light reading (for TRM), was really a side of things I’ve wanted to explore for a bit now.
As most of my readers know I make efforts not to be prescriptive in what I write. I realize there’s going to be bias involved in any observed process, but as I’ve stated on this blog and in my books, applying the Red Pill isn’t one size fits all. While the truth of Red Pill awareness is universally understandable, the application of it needs an individualized approach.
I don’t sell sunshine and rainbows here. You wont find deliberately inspirational reheated Zig Ziglar quotes you can frame in some motivational poster. Anyone doing so has a business based on it. What you will get here is unvarnished, un-sugar coated Red Pill awareness that is actionable in ways you choose to leverage it. My intent is not to make you a better man, but to have you make you a better man, and I trust you to be intelligent enough to make the best decisions for yourself based on your new awareness.
As I stated in The Bitter Taste of the Red Pill,…
The truth will set you free, but it doesn’t make truth hurt any less, nor does it make truth any prettier, and it certainly doesn’t absolve you of the responsibilities that truth requires. One of the biggest obstacles guys face in unplugging is accepting the hard truths that Game forces upon them. Among these is bearing the burden of realizing what you’ve been conditioned to believe for so long were comfortable ideals and loving expectations are really liabilities.
At it’s most distilled, the Red Pill is a Praxeology (h/t SJF):
Praxeology is the study of those aspects of human action that can be grasped a priori; in other words, it is concerned with the conceptual analysis and logical implications of preference, choice, means-end schemes, and so forth.
Praxeologyis the deductive study of human action based on the notion that humans engage in purposeful behavior, as opposed to reflexive behavior like sneezing and inanimate behavior. According to its theorists, with the action axiom as the starting point, it is possible to draw conclusions about human behavior that are both objective and universal. For example, the notion that humans engage in acts of choice implies that they have preferences, and this must be true for anyone who exhibits intentional behavior.
As such, and by the way I define it, the praxeology of the Red Pill is subject to the same capacity for revision and refinement as any other science. A lot of critics, including ones who’ve come to it after failing to re-plug themselves back into the Matrix, would like to believe that the foundations of Red Pill awareness are just overly complex opinions based on the anecdotal, negative, experiences of a handful of manosphere luminaries.
The truth is that as a praxeology Red Pill awareness is ‘open source’ and will necessarily evolve as our understanding of human nature advances. As new biological, psychological and sociological understanding expands so too will our understanding of Red Pill awareness, and consequently methodologies to operate on them will too.
However, in the now, we still must deal with the consequent painful disillusionments from being cut away from a formerly Blue Pill existence. As I illustrated in The Bitter Taste of the Red Pill, that freeing truth comes at a price, and sometimes that price manifests in ways you don’t expect.
Many newly unplugged men make the connection that Red Pill awareness fundamentally alters the way they see the world and certainly the latent purpose of pop culture and media trends. That’s the easy recognition, however, the Red Pill Lens reveals many more painful truths and a lot of them hit pretty close to home. Dealing with family, interacting with close personal friends still mired in a Blue Pill conditioned existence, is not only frustrating, but revealing your new awareness can sometimes draw hostility and abandonment from them.
I’ve personally known guys who’ve read my body of work, came to a Red Pill awareness, and then immediately wanted to explain it all to their friends only to find themselves ostracized from their regular social group because their sudden change diametrically conflicts with what they’ve been conditioned to expect from him. It’s very frustrating for guys who want to excitedly, sometimes proudly, talk about the particulars of their new awareness and how it’s changed them for the better.
I know better than most I think. I’m Rollo Tomassi and I can’t exactly advertise it or even drop hints about the Red Pill in my daily life without some reservation. Mrs. Tomassi would like nothing better than to blather off about my two books to her family and friends, but I’ve dropped the hammer on this since I started this blog. Obviously it behooves me to maintain at least a semi-anonymous profile to make sure my wife and daughter aren’t the target of anyone’s net hate retaliations, but I also know that most of my family and certainly all of hers will never be ready to accept Red Pill awareness.
Never appeal to truth and reality unless you are prepared for the anger that comes for disenchantment.
PlansAndPlates from the Red Pill sub brought up an interesting topic recently.
People who knew you in your beta past will never respect you and you will never respect yourself if you choose to associate with them anymore.
I made a pretty brutal decision to ghost a lot of ‘friends’ from my past.
I decided if people treated me in a way they wouldn’t treat someone of high regard/respect/authority (their boss, their parent, whoever they look up to) then I would next them. Boy, girl, plate, ‘friend’, family member, whoever.
If a person doesn’t respect you, it could be your fault and it could be their fault – whoever enabled and created the relationship of disrespect is not actually important.
What’s important is the result; you’re associating with someone who treats you with disrespect, or lesser respect than those they actually respect, and there is no way a man can respect himself if he’s choosing to spend time with people who don’t respect him.
Note the word choose. Sometimes you have no choice, but when you have the option to say to yourself “You know what? Fuck this, I’m bailing” or “No fucking way am I going to see that guy” you must use it.
How can you respect yourself if you choose to associate with someone who doesn’t respect you? How can you do anything in life worth a shit? You’re going to spend all the time with them ‘proving’ to them you’re worthy of respect? You’re going to spite them until they respect you? Who gives a fuck what they think? Not only is it bad to give a fuck what someone thinks, they’re likely never going to respect you. Never ever. Once you decide you don’t respect somebody, how often do you change your mind? Do you erase your memories?
How can you believe in yourself if you don’t respect yourself? How are you going to follow a plan out to get healthy, get wealthy, get smart, if you don’t respect yourself?
For that reasons I ghosted a number of friendly acquaintances I considered friends, once I understood where I was in their hierarchy. Some I’d known for 10 years and had shared some good and bad memories with.
I do not regret it one bit.
People who don’t respect you won’t change how they perceive you once you better yourself, they’ll see the old you and a new imposter.
I am a strong believer that first impressions last, forever, and that if you have made an impression on some people that you are a beta, they will never forget where they’ve pigeon holed you. They will never treat you like an alpha and defer to you, how could they? They don’t respect you, they ‘know’ that you’re just ‘acting different’.
Compare that with new people. New people see what’s in front of them and they take it at face value that you’re a lean mean fucking machine who appears to have his shit in order and probably always has. Don’t tell them about your past when you didn’t, they don’t need the dream ruined. And if other people talk about your old ways, just agree and amplify and laugh about it – the new person wasn’t there and it’s just the other persons word against yours – and you’re a likable alpha, so they’ll think fuck it and believe you’re an alpha and always were.
Lesson: You should consider making some hard decisions about ghosting some people in your life who have disrespected you and boxed you into a ‘beta’ category in their memory. You could turn from the guy from Revenge of the Nerds into Connor McGregor and they’d only tell people about how you were the guy from Revenge of the Nerds. New people will take your fucking greatness at face value and when they hear reports that you’ve upgraded and shit test you, defuse the shit test with great laughter.
His point is simple with regard to respect, but this need for ghosting is a pragmatic response most guys see coming when they shift into Red Pill awareness. They know well ahead of time that certain friends, particularly close friends whose lives are invested in the illusions of a Blue Pill contentedness, will neither accept this new awareness nor the genuineness of their change in perspective.
Law 10 Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky
You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as disease. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.
Remember those Zig Ziglar optimistic ‘mindset’ peddlers I mentioned earlier? One tenet of that build-a-positive-fantasy-life mental model is the clichéd notion that you should surround yourself with winners and blow off the losers in your life. It’s a simple aphorism that rolls off the tongue easy; associate with winners and that winning will rub off on you. What they don’t tell you to do is how to cut out the unhappy and unlucky persons in your life who also happen to be your oldest friends or closest family members.
This is one of those painful truths that will set you free, but still stings like a bitch.
But eliminate them, or marginalize them you must. Most guys know this, or they come to know it as the first thing once they unplug. There’s a cost to Red Pill awareness.
The Price of Truth
I only rarely make an active effort to help unplug men these days. Now, I get that my books and this blog are an effort as such, but I mean in the sense of reaching out personally to a guy whom I think may be ready to consider the Red Pill truths about men and women.
I did make one recently and I was reminded again about the part in the Matrix where Morpheus explains to Neo that he’d broken protocol to unplug him. They never tried to free a mind once it reached a certain age. The mind has difficulties in letting go of “truths” it’s become dependent upon for its own survival.
That’s a pretty accurate analogy for dealing with unplugging other men as well as revealing Red Pill awareness to people too invested in a Blue Pill existence to listen to, much less acknowledge the rationality of a truth that destroys their self-sustaining ego investments.
But attempt it I did. The guy was a fairly high profile, but minor local celebrity who at 48 years old had just had a painful split with his 30 year old girlfriend. He’d been married once before, divorced for all the Blue Pill misguided pandering you might expect, and now here he was ‘blindsided’ by a girlfriend well above 2 SMV steps to his own. Even a basic understanding of the intersexual dynamics that the Red Pill illustrates would’ve spared him a repeat of his Beta behavior and her consequent dumping of him.
But there he was, again, in the same familiar depression due to the same repeated behaviors stemming from the same misinformed Blue Pill conditioned mindset. So I made the effort. I liked the guy. In most other aspects of life he’s very pragmatic, driven, focused and definitely Alpha. He’s got social proof, a low grade of celebrity, he’s affluent, and while somewhat arrogant at times very likable. However, he suffers from one fatal flaw – he is ego invested in a Blue Pill illusion of women so thoroughly that only a man who’s lived it his entire 48 years can understand it.
So I made an effort to just get him to read my book, or at least the Best of Year One posts. He’d have none of it. The reflexive response to what he’s been taught by the women in his life is misogyny short circuit for him. To be honest I was never really hopeful, but I made the effort from that base need to help another man avoid a painful fate – not unlike my reasons for writing at all.
I’ve got to ghost him now. Not because I’m an asshole or I’ve given up, but because it’s just not pragmatic to apply that effort when others would benefit more from it. He’s past that age Morpheus says the mind should never be freed and I’ve got to be OK with that.
That’s just the price of truth.
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“That’s just the price of truth.”
I wear a bracelet that says ‘Veritas Illustrat.’ Goddamn it hurts sometimes, but it’s never made sense to me to do anything but follow the truth at any cost.
I poured everything into an old one-itis and yet you told me that ‘hypergamy doesn’t care.’ Tried that one on, with tears. Yet here I am.
Well, if I’m gonna be beaten to FIRST it might as well be by the OP 😉
I’ll check it out, sounds cool.
Timely post. Am approaching the one year no contact with my crazy ex. It’s an achievement. But this was actually the nature of my question to your podcast. When do you let go? I’ve now stopped talking to other guys about my recent successes with women or whatever other success I may have. Far from being a bonding experience or inspiring it only breeds resentment . In a world where white knights and betas are constantly trying to ündermine efforts and achievements finding a criteria to walk away is hard. I also walked away from a few friends who disrespected… Read more »
The last paragraph doesn’t make much sense… if it really is as simple as “someone else could benefit more from my time” then why do you have to ghost him? If he isn’t receptive at all to the pill, why not just stop talking about it? Why cut him out completely? It seems like there is another reason here for you to ghost this guy, and I’m sure it would be informative for the readers if you went into them. You gave no indication that he had pegged you as a beta and was unwilling to respect you, which is… Read more »
@Sam – Read the 10th Law of Power that he cited – avoid the unhappy and the unlucky. Ghosting a man who refuses to own up to his shit when women are chewing him up and spitting him out is about keeping your own mental and energetic hygiene sorted. Maintaining state is crucial for a man who is his own point of mental origin and allowing in those with Blue Pill views and negativity will drag you down. Living a life of high performance isn’t easy or for the sentimental. Low drag is crucial… @Rollo – Great post. The positive… Read more »
[…] Ghosting […]
I have to disagree with at least some of this. I recently met up with several friends from high school, and they knew an awkward and socially naive teenager. They kept telling the new red-pill me how much I’ve changed, sharing stories of girls and generally being socially dominant, flirting with the waitress, etc. The one who was the most impressed was the closest to the red pill himself in highschool, though back then he still held onto certain idealisations. He’s actually more of a natural then anything, the other guys were more timid like I used to be but… Read more »
Harkness, it’s a lot about congruency. If you just start banging girls w/o explainations you’re a ‘late bloomer’ and a badass. If you explain how you’re doing it you’re a creep and a loser. I have two friends who can semi-accept the post-RP me uncensored. The rest not so much. I’m grateful for that much frankly. All the others just see I’m different cause I just start talking to some random girl around them that’s walking by and she’s into it, and they just think I’m cool or something. Most people seem to believe in magic whenever they can’t explain… Read more »
@Rollo Lately I’ve been refocusing my take on the process of mens’ unplugging and dealing with a new Red Pill informed way of living. The Gamer Girls post, while intentionally light reading (for TRM), was really a side of things I’ve wanted to explore for a bit now. Aye, I’ve been leaning that way a lot in my own thinking as well. My experiences in the nerd community were pretty much a microcosm for understanding the wider world. Despite the belief within that community that they escaped the judgement and hierarchies of the outside world that regarded them as rejects… Read more »
Rollo, Ghosting after a profound trans-formative change is normal. I have been a Christian Missionary and I have been in sales. All persuasion that causes a change in world view creates a rift. Ask any addict or ask any Priest and they can tell you of the ones they left behind. Many will be quite sad about the friends and family they have moved past. I too am sad. But I also rationally realize that 80/20 is a bitch. And while you are sad about the people who don’t get it. They are simply part of the 80 percent that… Read more »
thanks for sharing the personal story Rollo, I’ve been RP aware for about a year or two now, and have also learned like most men do how the vast majority of people are not open to our reality. Or even worse, hostile. Which leads me to think that we in the community should consolidate our positive sharing experiences, figure out how to identify someone who is open and how to talk to them. Pretty much — strategic evangelism. I was very fortunate with my brother, married 12 years with three kids, and he soaked up the RP in a way… Read more »
People who knew you in your beta past will never respect you and you will never respect yourself if you choose to associate with them anymore. … People who don’t respect you won’t change how they perceive you once you better yourself, they’ll see the old you and a new imposter. Given Rollo’s psychology background, I expected him to mention “Self-fulfilling prophecy”. Google the term, and the experiments, and you will know exactly why you must leave behind people who refuse to interact with the improved you and insist on treating you as the old you. *Caveat: If you move… Read more »
I haven’t really faced this too much yet partly because, due to moving around frequently (relocating every 2-3 years almost) since I started working, the distance doesn’t allow me interact that much in person with my family or closer friends that know me for some years.
I keep making new acquaintances / friends wherever I’m at, but don’t usually get very close anyway also knowing that I’d be moving out in a few years.
Same thing for me. I had to let go one previously close friend though. Well.. for me it wasn’t as much letting go, as we just gone our separate ways, it was kinda natural.
Harsh, but true about the need to ghost people. Once you’re the low man on the totem pole in a given group of people, it’s very, very hard to climb up to even the middle of the totem pole. Too often, others’ first impression of you is frozen in time. Of course, one should work to get their act together no matter what, but it may be best to at least keep a very healthy distance from the old group and find a different pond to swim in.
OK – I’m not really getting this. Redpill knowledge about women, put concisely, is that women are more self-serving than they show themselves to be and are therefore more machiavellian than they show themselves to be (the machiavelllian descriptor is therefore rather redundant). The solipsism apparent in the feminine is something that can’t really be hidden and was always there for every man (bluepill included) to ponder about in any event, and either make excuses for or not. So once you see this why the heck would you have to rearrange your relationships (other than a realignment with your significant… Read more »
What hurt the most was when I found out WHO had ghosted me. When I found TRP, I was a huge loser. I still am, two years later, but at least I designed a plan to improve and I began implementing it.
My own brother ghosted me. If I think about it, it’s logical, I was dragging him down. Is there a way to be un-ghosted?
@Narmo – If you mean is there a way to verbally persuade someone to un-ghost you, the answer is no. Telling someone you’re trying to get your shit together is unlikely to persuade. They will have to actually see you getting your shit together and draw that conclusion for themselves. FYI to all, there’s another one of those “End of Men” type articles out there, this time in the April ’16 issue of Psychology Today. Don’t have a link handy, I saw the print issue. It says mostly what you’d expect. But some of it is painful to ready anyway.… Read more »
Thanks guys – YaReally Sentient Forge, HABD, scribblerg, quixotic et al. Another post coming up replying to your comments about my ASD girl/hotel bars, but a new post below about giving up online dating. Monday night was “off”. Not for want of trying – I had TWO online dates flake independently. I’m used to the 50% online date flake thing and generally schedule two per day (or one and some other activity) but it is quite unusual for two to flake on the day of the date after confirming 24 hours ahead, leaving me with my dick in my hand.… Read more »
@Wild Man: “So … not getting this ……. ”
So … try reading the article …….”
Along with the message of this post, we should remember that we should only give help if it is first asked for. Of course, if we see a problem, setting out breadcrumbs might lead to someone asking for help.
E.g., create a dread of being cuckolded in someone who likely has been cuckolded (e.g., a man in a sexless marriage) and a dread of frivorce in someone who is at risk of being frivorced. “I found this interesting article on declining sex in marriage. I’d like to get your take on it.”
As we discussed over on Dalrock’s blog, letting go of an old friend who is a “good man” but not good at being a man might seem callous. However, as I pointed out, trying to rescue someone who is drowning can be dangerous. They can drag you down just by being around them.
Timely article Rollo. I just clipped somebody yesterday.. not a close friend but someone I’ve known for quite a few years. There’s a saying “don’t argue with a crazy person”, and that’s really what it feels like trying to associate with those folks. In his case he’d become some super SJW against Trump, so it wasn’t difficult to make the break. But still..
@YaReally and other guys out infield, I have a special request: This is a quote from YaReally’s archives, from one of the links posted recently in the Gamer Girls thread “… I actually like the comfort/rapport stage a lot. A lot of guys get bored with it and it’s just a necessary evil to them, but I really like to see what makes people tick and break through their bullshit exteriors to talk to them on an internal level. This is part of why I build comfort/rapport with people (guys, girls, old people, etc.) REALLY fast, like they feel like… Read more »
I brought the TRM book with me on a group holiday last summer. Tried to instruct a guy around 26 about women. Clearly he was pretty green. He agreed to the scandalous behavior of today’s western women. He was all ears when I ranted for an hour at the poolside. Some other guys also listened and commented. Even a girl agreed about the fcked up Tinder culture and awful state of relationships between people in this consumerist age. But if there is one thing striking for modern people its that they don’t want to spend time or energy on fixing… Read more »
The whole unplugging and RP bitterness/disillusionment is real for me as I am old and married (insert joke…). So the real possibility of ghosting the SO has come up with me. I won’t next her (…yet a few more months still to decide), but ghosting does happen within the marriage by denial of time or attention for shitty behavior.
For those fortunate boys who do read this site and have yet to be fully enmeshed in the FI bankrupt ideals you will be spared.
Analogy time: A man’s blue-pill past is his Matrix. When he meets people who’ve known his previous self, he automatically plugs back into the Matrix. I have no desire to interact with people who only see me as the weak battery they once knew.
I found it interesting that Rollo’s 48 yr old friend just refused to accept RP truths. I discovered TRP at the age of 41, but I wonder how old is too old to be able to make the transition from the Blue to the Red? Or is it the degree of trauma needed to shake you awake?
The words of PlansAndPlates hit really close to home. In my case it wasn’t really about turning Red Pill, it was about becoming a man and learning to respect myself. When I was out of my teenage years, I came to the realization that almost all of my relationships where based on mutual abuse, from my family, to my friends, to the girls I dated, to my co-workers, and I decided that it wasn’t going to be that way anymore. I started changing. I became a better person to others, but at the same time, I also put up clear… Read more »
“While the truth of Red Pill awareness is universally understandable, the application of it needs an individualized approach.” I was just thinking about this yesterday with all the posts in the last thread. The end goal of the mindset is seems to be basically the same, but everyone seems to tackle different issues and in a different order to get there. Fascinating. @kfg Hey man, I finished reading that “Taboo of knowing yourself” book(slow reader). Loved it. Thanks for the recommendation. It perfectly ties in to red pill and pua stuff. Also, it kind of expounded on views I’ve already… Read more »
IMO Weather or not someone is ready to except the truth vs the rules of the game,is less an age factor and has more to do with hitting a bottom. If someone is still toying with the idea that maybe if they did this or that differently things would be different next time, they haven’t fully exhausted all personal effort. There is a school of thought in the recovery biz that the best time for intervention is in the remorse stage. While this is a most likely time for a person to recognize they’re bottom,it doesn’t mean they have hit… Read more »
If you are always moving forward, you will always leave people behind. Just how it is. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOgB4aaZhZM For me it started in HS… Left all my friends when they went on to blue collar work or dropped out and I moved on to college. Left college friends when I moved away with my unicorn girl and then married at 23. Left other newly marrieds when I had a kid at 24. left more friends when the business I started at 24 grew… Then moved away… then started a second biz… etc etc etc. Keep moving forward, enjoy the time you… Read more »
IAS “More so than getting better at opening, I’d really like to get good at doing that kind of stuff. It seems more useful to me in my current situation (married not wanting to cheat). Advice?” Advice… yes, if you don’t want to have sex with these women, don’t even try getting good at rapport… because attraction and rapport and then the kino… all leads to sex. It’s inevitable and the only reason men and women speak at all… So take an honest moment with yourself and figure what you really want. Because if you just want to keep your… Read more »
Ironically, this post was great timing for me. I went to a basketball game with some old friends on Sunday, and afterward I was left with a bitter taste in my mouth because of their behavior. They were disrespectful in so many ways that is has forced me to make a decision about how I want to deal with them going forward. I don’t know if I will full on ghost them, but I have very little desire to interact with them on a regular basis. I also think there’s a component of jealousy and envy. My success with women… Read more »
Thank you Rollo this post has been on my mind for about a mouth. Ive lost all my old buddy’s ever one of them. Rugby is barely holding me with being social but the beta in me is dying… The alpha hasnt time for the people who drove him into being a beta. I am More than aware of my Ghosting about 10 people won’t speak with me anymore. I don’t think im going to share the red pill anymore unless someone ask’s me first. This is a Painfully Process… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YMc6P6UDMk Thank you for caring about all the people who… Read more »
Culum “Plus of course as Sentient pointed out a couple of days ago, it feeds too much into women’s logical mind to schedule an online date and you lose momentum” Glad you brought this back up. I read Ya’s breakdown and it was at odds with mine… His prescribing more comfort (maybe more time with her?) and I was proposing shorter time together and shorter male out etc. relying on attraction to overwhelm ASD, which you can do sub 1 hour for sure… HOWEVER That scenario, at least for me, has played out only via cold approach. Not online dating… Read more »
@rugby11 Wonder what you think of this. It’ll be blocked. If legalized abortion strictly under the control of the female is about giving females maximum sexual agency while minimizing male sexual agency, that law would at least give men some agency back. Notice that it was not met with enthusiasm. While I personally do not have any issues with any form of birth control (abortion included), I’ve also long recognized that if we’re going to give women full control of them then men need some form of legal protection that resembles abandonment of legal responsibilities. That would also include abandoning… Read more »
Culum Yareally From Ya’s other post ” I’ve been tweaking the vibe I give off because I’m noticing a lot of girls in the 23-29yo range (this one is 24) are starting to push for a little more than fuckboi and fuck-friend/friends with benefits arrangements. They seem to want to “do” stuff instead of just fuck” I think the issue Yareally is having here is the average AGE of his girl is trending up as his age trends up… and this is the age more girls are doing online dating as well… Basically out of college shit is getting real… Read more »
@Wildman – “OK – I’m not really getting this.” – And this is a new development? I didn’t read any further, honestly. You don’t get this because you don’t want to. You are ego invested in some other stuff that isn’t useful for Red Pill men. You keep trying and trying and trying to twist this to your will and bend these ideas and promote your ideas – but nobody is buying. Please, do yourself a favor and take the “Not Born This Morning” challenge I issued to him. Go build your own blog and community based on your ideas.… Read more »
@Sentient I’m killing it with online dating. I’ve banged 7 girls this year. Half I met online. Of the girls I’ve met online, I bang them within an hour of meeting–usually they come over. It’s now at the point I don’t waste my time on “dates” anymore…I spike attraction, move to comfort (in text) then go for the meet up. I often propose coming over to my place and if they agree, it’s on. I sexualize early in the texts: “have you ever had a blue-eyed lover?” The word “lover” works better than “boyfriend”…. Once I incept the idea, they… Read more »
@Culum Good man. Your thoughts on online dating are all pretty dead on. It’s a crutch…a convenient one at times, but you will get better reception infield (especially if you’re using preselection, social proof, group theory leading men, etc) from hotter girls than with online where you’re jumping through hoops before you’ve even seen if they have all their teeth or are hiding a fat body. @IAS Juggler Method @Sentient “I think the issue Yareally is having here is the average AGE of his girl is trending up as his age trends up…” oh the 18yo’s still love me lol… Read more »
I found the rational male late in 2011, which is the year my life crumbled; so I was beginning to implement it’s guidelines into my life. I ghosted all the people from my blue pill past back in 2012. It was very hard because I lost regular contact with friends I’d had since I was a boy. (I’m late 30’s now) It had to be done. To this day I don’t seek any of their company. All those friends were steeped in blue pill mindset and were an enormous hindrance to my healing and rebirth. I even limited contact with… Read more »
Rollo, Like you said it seems the older you are the harder it is to unplug and the bigger price you pay to unplug. The cost of lost friendships and family ties is immense. But there is no hiding the truth. Though painful it really will “set you free”. It is sad though the tremendous costs you pay to break away. The only people I share the Red Pill with are those who are so broken and desparate by the failings of the Blue Pill that they will finally listen. I have shared the Red Pill successfully with only one… Read more »
@walawala “I spike attraction, move to comfort (in text) then go for the meet up. I often propose coming over to my place and if they agree, it’s on.” This has been my M.O. for years and worked great but it’s gotten tougher. I wonder if it’s partly a cultural thing (not sure what the sexual culture over there is like, like how sexually active the average 21yo is, or what society’s views on hooking up or going over a guy’s place etc is, or how much value is placed on being an independent womyn that isn’t tied down, or… Read more »
@wala “@Sentient I’m killing it with online dating. I’ve banged 7 girls this year. Half I met online. Of the girls I’ve met online, I bang them within an hour of meeting–usually they come over. It’s now at the point I don’t waste my time on “dates” anymore…I spike attraction, move to comfort (in text) then go for the meet up. I often propose coming over to my place and if they agree, it’s on. I sexualize early in the texts: “have you ever had a blue-eyed lover?” ” I don’t doubt it, you are the shiny object over there… Read more »
I think you can swallow the pill at any age…if you had inklings about the red pill before. I figured it all out about 1985 and went Monk Mode for a couple years, then met a Unicorn, made her jump through every hoop I could think of and she passed. My Unicorn remained a Unicorn for 24 years, so I stuffed the red pill file away in a dusty corner of my brain…until like many women do, she hit peri-Menopause and over the space of year changed into someone neither my kids or myself even recognized anymore and left us.… Read more »
@Ronin, care to share for the benefit of the younger guys here any of the “peri-menopausal” warning signs you got prior to her splitting. I’m guessing you had many signs and clues beforehand.
Another good post.
I am glad you mentioned Praxeology because it is the foundation of both economics and a pillar for social ethics. Ludwig von Mises was the greatest Economist of the 20th century if greatest is defined as contributing the most in advancing accurate knowledge. Anyone who wants to understand economics can skip the top tier MBA programs (I have a top tier MBA) and simply study von Mises and his two great pupils, Rothbard and Hayek. You will know more about economics than 99% of MBAs if you do so.
@YaReally, After seeing several of your posts that give newbies a roadmap, I was thinking that it’s be cool if you could make a link on your site to a dedicated page to that graphic that shows the MM A1 through S3 and provide a brief description. I found it on: http://yareallyarchive.com/2015/3/ (scroll down). That’s gold, but short of bookmarking it, which I now did, it get’s lost in the volume for any newbie searching for the framework.
theasdgamer @ 4:49 am: “As we discussed over on Dalrock’s blog, letting go of an old friend who is a “good man” but not good at being a man might seem callous. However, as I pointed out, trying to rescue someone who is drowning can be dangerous. They can drag you down just by being around them.” That wasn’t what was discussed. You only ghost friends when they DO drag you down, not just because they might. Keeping Blue Pill friends around lets one teach by example, or at least demonstrate what Red Pill has to offer. Even Christ resorted… Read more »
I think a lot of guys are confusing my ghosting as some exercise in being callous or unsympathetic with this guy. If that were the case I wouldn’t bother writing this blog or books. I have a great many friends and business associates who are locked in a Blue Pill existence – in fact I have far more Blue Pill / Beta friends than I do guys who I’d say are Red Pill aware. Am I being a dick for not even attempting to help these men unplug and live better lives? I’m one of the three Rs in the… Read more »
djreddyfox, I am 48 and came across this whole thing maybe 4 or 5 years ago – hard to tell, since I self-woke, and sort of slowly slid into consciousness. I noticed glitches in the programming (so to speak) years before but hadn’t put it together until my life’s pain level exceeded my patience. So it’s possible for older guys to do it, but much harder. There’s a continuous temptation to try to counter all the god-awful advice out there, spread by grinning eunuchs trying to get their balls back by getting everyone else to remove their own. But telling… Read more »
@ Sentient, IAS Advice… yes, if you don’t want to have sex with these women, don’t even try getting good at rapport… because attraction and rapport and then the kino… all leads to sex. It’s inevitable and the only reason men and women speak at all… Naah, I do kino a lot and it’s not an issue. Just don’t look too much at the broad’s face and you won’t get an oxytocin addiction to her face, which can be really annoying (make you shy, confused, etc. when you see her and oxytocin hits your brain like a 2×4 between the… Read more »
“I’ve personally known guys who’ve read my body of work, came to a Red Pill awareness, and then immediately wanted to explain it all to their friends only to find themselves ostracized from their regular social group because their sudden change diametrically conflicts with what they’ve been conditioned to expect from him” That “immediately wanted to explain it all” part is the problem. Don’t do this. What you do is you start living it. Then those who aren’t on board fall away, or you cut them out. The first rule of Fight Club is: You don’t talk about Fight Club.… Read more »
I wouldn’t say that first impressions last forever in the sense that people will never see you any other way. Some people can’t see anything any other way. It’s “not getting it”. Like a guy at work who doesn’t know enough to not say the same joke over and over. You can humor him, ignore him, try not responding, but he still keeps doing it no matter how unfunny it was the first time, the fact that he’s the only one laughing at his own joke completely escaping him. Then if you finally lay it out for him how much… Read more »
The TRP sub comments are very good on this topic:
Scray scribblerg newlyaloof He he Newly posting that link to the old CH posts, and this video of Mystery infield provoking shit festpalooza and smashing them to bits… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqFo2UIzZ18 a reminder that “peacocking” is a sure fire way to provoke shit tests… This kind of test is always going to be based on something physical, something she can see… and you DON’T need a fuzzy hat… So Scray is short, so he’s got that built in… anything hard coded physical is likely to be a target, YaReally belly fat (lol), if you are too tall, too skinny ugly hair… that… Read more »
Rollo, you created a body of work that men can access when they realize that they need help. If they don’t need help and are Blue Pill, they likely will avoid your blog if not actively oppose it through trolling or creating their own blog. You don’t actively engage your Blue Pill friends on controversial sexual issues because you don’t need to. It just doesn’t come up unless you choose to bring it up. That’s not necessarily the case for some of the rest of us. In my case, my friends and acquaintances frequently bring up the fact that I’m… Read more »
I rarely get asked how old I am. Girls usually “upqualify” me as young. If they are serious, I tell them and they usually don’t believe me, lol. Age hasn’t been an issue for dancing. My marital status, otoh, is a frequent issue.
Age shit test: “Old enough to know better and too young to care.”
Marital status shit test: “We’re dancing, not having sex.”
Not wearing ring shit test: “It doesn’t fit any more and I don’t want to replace it.”
from that reddit link, I’d say the guy who returned the book unread didn’t catch hell when she saw it, I’d say he’s more brainwashed by the ‘inherently flawed male’ that’s all over pop culture.
Bet he decided not to read it just based on the title. She would never see it.
Some folks will never view you as anything more than what they knew you as years before. I have the memory of the scene in the movie “Goodfellas” where Tommy runs into an old boss who only remembers him for shining shoes. “No more shines” is not acceptable for the old boss. He still wants to treat him as an underling and disrespect him with jokes..
Hopefully nobody else will have to beat their old friends to death and bury them upstate. Ghosting seems like a better choice.
@Sentient: I’m pretty certain I can control myself. YaReally’s and La Ruina’s point was that by gaming properly you can get to know people as their best friends do or even better. So in theory if I know to do that and don’t escalate into sex, presumably I just get Friend zoned (or Gay zoned, or Married zoned if that actually exists for women) and would have a genuine friend. Right? Plus I wouldn’t just be using this on women, if I had the skills (like YaReally said, he does it to guys, girls, people in general). Having a go… Read more »
@IAS, YaReally linked to a better Juggler Method than that. It was a breakdown of some dude named Dimitri: http://www.scribd.com/doc/50510219/Dimitri-MyJugglerMethod-compact
@IAS, YaReally, P.S. on that Dimitri link. I don’t want to get an account with scrbd, so anybody with the complete edition let us know.
“People who don’t respect you won’t change how they perceive you once you better yourself, they’ll see the old you and a new imposter.” So how do you get around ghosting a significant other? A few years into the RP, still occasionally failing shit-tests with the wife with her always bringing up old sh*t. We have a couple kids so I want to believe that her running her mouth, i’m unhaaaappppy, want a divorce, etc can be turned around as I continue to improve in all areas (running the MAP) and drastically reduce # of failed shit-tests, but the idea… Read more »
I looked around and found something that matches the 4 preview pages on Scribd here:
But as you can see the formatting sucks. Still better than nothing.
you need to take responsibility for your life. if your social life is shitty, it’s your fault. like…you can choose what activities you partake in and your friends. be a man, set some fucking boundaries. and get serious about them once someone crosses the line, walk away. it’s that simple. they aren’t going to change. past behavior predicts future behavior. at first it will be difficult walking away from what you used to know. but once you start being EXTREMELY SELECTIVE about who you let in to your life past the point of an acquaintance….you will notice that you FEEL… Read more »
Honestly the book is only now starting to resonate with me.
Ghosting happens on TRM, just like in other spheres. Some people ghost me because I occasionally do my Pepe Lepew impression, which is fine. If someone is allergic to wisdom and truth, they are better off scrolling down past my posts. I read comments unless the commenter is very obtuse–even if the person is obnoxious or pugnacious. No reason to throw the baby out with the bathwater. I won’t engage people if they are too obnoxious or if they are bitches of someone else even if I read their posts. I expect that others do the same with my posts.… Read more »
IAS “@Sentient: I’m pretty certain I can control myself.” Yeah lot’s of guys are, and then you’re wrapped up in a hot 22YO and she’s rubbing your crotch and moaning… Just saying – game works. It works a lot better than many will believe. “YaReally’s and La Ruina’s point was that by gaming properly you can get to know people as their best friends do or even better.” Well sure, BUT you need to do without any attraction forming. Because attraction + Comfort/Rapport leads to sex. So everything you’re doing to build attraction, you’ll need to tone down. Especially kino,… Read more »
“So in theory if I know to do that and don’t escalate into sex, presumably I just get Friend zoned (or Gay zoned, or Married zoned if that actually exists for women) and would have a genuine friend. Right?”
“running the MAP” uh oh another AK purple piller… How long you been running?
Doesn’t sound like you ever issued any ultimatum, that WAS a core part of the Male Action Plan… it’s gone now right in the Mindful Attraction Plan.
Up your alpha you are likely no where near where she needs it. She’s a 6 in your eyes but a 10 in her own.
Wild Person OK – I’m not really getting this. Ok, that’s good. I didn’t get it for a long time, but until I admitted to myself I’m really not getting this, whut? I couldn’t make any progress. Redpill knowledge about women, put concisely, is that women are more self-serving than they show themselves to be and are therefore more machiavellian than they show themselves to be Yeah, no. It can look that way at first, and that leads to the anger phase for most men, but no. Women are as a rule not consciously self serving, and certainly not Machiavellian.… Read more »
Rollo What they don’t tell you to do is how to cut out the unhappy and unlucky persons in your life who also happen to be your oldest friends or closest family members. This is especially going to burn for those married Christian men who cannot, for theological reasons, just “next” their wife. So far as I can tell, the solution for them is a frame of prestressed, reinforced concrete and constant, never interrupted, Game. Every shit test must be beaten. Any Bible quote that reinforces the proper complementary relationship must be rolled out whenever appropriate. The other alternative would… Read more »
Age doesn’t matter. It is the circumstances of your life. I was 100% blue pill until my ex asked for a divorce. I was 55 at the time.
@Sentient @YaReally wife recently asked what I wanted for my birthday. I told her absolutely nothing (considering all that “until death do us part, oh expect for that if not for the kids, I’d leave your ass” thing). Any other ideas? I thought of saying blowjob, but “absolutely nothing” felt better at the time.
What do you want? Translate “a bj” into language that she can accept. Something that resonates with her. “You know how you like pistachio ice cream? That’s how I feel about sex. Vanilla is Ok, but I also like pistachio. A bj is my pistachio ice cream.”
@ASD, I’m not negotiating desire for my gift. That is funny though. Even telling her what I want would be like asking for it.
…ghosting does happen within the marriage by denial of time or attention for shitty behavior.
Also a way to reset after loss of frame, as an alternative to butthurt, I would assume.
also, these people you try to “help” then try to expose you as an asshole, cheating, arrogant douchebag
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That’s really not negotiating, but giving her plausible deniability. You could tell her that a woman giving a man a bj is a sign of her love for him and that her withholding it is a sign of her lack of love, which is fine since it’s good to get the cards on the table even if you decide not to play at that table. You can use this route as long as you’re not invested in her giving you a bj. ZFG and reduce your attention until she invests in a bj.
“you’ve given me a lot to think about” and wander off… and out.
always a good one. But you will still need to figure out for yourself what you want out of life. It’s not easy. You get to bring your wife as far as she can go, but it still may never be enough for you now. So you go do you for a bit.
@Sentient: you know more about this than I do. I’m far more concerned about me getting One-itis for some girl than having girls develop one-itis for me.
I know what you mean because after learning some Red Pill I tried a bit of eye contact and kino and (think I) had it a bit reciprocated a few months back and when I got to bed (by myself as intended) I couldn’t manage to sleep for a while.
In any case, Juggler method seems like good knowledge to have. I’ll try not to be a kid playing with dynamite.
“I’ll try not to be a kid playing with dynamite.”
Nothing wrong with playing with dynamite, as long as it only goes BOOM when you want it to. Have fun!
Ghosting isn’t that hard with most people we have relationships with. Studies & etc. show we turn over around 90% of our friends every five years. If you’re having trouble doing it, move on to doing something more productive whether it’s at work, at play, or wherever. I’ve always ghosted as a preferred method of moving on from whatever. No ceremony, no glad handing goodbyes, I just pack my shit and leave when it’s time to go. If you miss me, well, sorry, see ya around. If you don’t miss me, no worries, trust me it’s mutual. I make an… Read more »
I don’t try to unplug guys. It’s hard because even right this moment, I know guys that are being put through the wringer and they are suffering something fierce, but I cannot help them at all. Not yet. Maybe not ever. There is a great risk in trying to help a suffering man by unplugging him. He will interpret the added pain and disillusionment as being ” your fault ” for fucking up his head. Plus, just the act of unplugging a guy requires a measure of patience that I do not possess. It’s easier for me to build an… Read more »
Go blow up a stool in the school restroom. The girls’ side.
@Newly – Tell her you want her to find you a woman who doesn’t think fucking you is a chore. Tell her it’s for both of you since you don’t want to fuck someone who doesn’t want to fuck you, but you want to do some good fucking, and that since she doesn’t want to fuck you, she should be relieved.
Close with, “Or I might have to find someone who does without your help.”
@ASD (and others)… I intend to have some FRs soon.
It’s not possible to teach someone who isn’t ready to learn. Nor is it ethical to unplug someone who’s happy. Some are quite happy in their misery. Success is not as important as having made the effort to try. If you have made the effort, that is all you can do. When they are ready to turn their trauma into wisdom, they will find their teacher. It may be you; it may be not. Change will eventually be instantaneous: when the one hundredth penny makes a dollar. Don’t try to argue. Don’t try to persuade. Be the change. It takes… Read more »
@Rollo Stefan Molyneux (or his wife I think?) got raped by everyone for recommending “de-fooing”, but from what I gathered skimming the dialogue it looked like de-fooing is just cutting out negative value/energy-leeching people who don’t support (or actively sabotage) your attempts to better yourself and achieve your goals fixing your life, which I personally (and PUA teaching in general) fully support. Any opinion on it? Genuinely just curious because this reminded me of the Molyneux incident and I was just like “wtf does everyone have a problem with this concept for??” But I think the idea of “cut out… Read more »
@djreddyfox – I didn’t take the Red Pill until I was 50. Yes, it’s been incredibly painful but I say to any man that is actually still a man that it’s never too late. As long as you can raise your middle finger to the world that hates you, and wants you to hate yourself and needs you to repress your own masculinity, you have a shot. Don’t confuse “won’t” with “can’t”. Sure it’s hard, boo fucking hoo. And yes, it’s tempting to just shuffle off into nothingness, complying with a society that gives fuck-all about your humanity. Sure, that’s… Read more »
Top post, touched a nerve with me. Fuck, did I ever learn this lesson the hard way, you can’t save anyone. Tried to save a local kid that hooked up with Albanian drug dealers (they used him as a stooge to house sit weed crops and they rolled him over hard). My reward? Fucker stabbed me in the knee multiple times with a pocket knife. The one lesson I gleaned from the Bible is that if you try to save ungrateful pieces of shit you end up dead. Half the book is about prophets lamenting about ungrateful assholes, just look… Read more »
@scribblerg “It’s like getting a chance to wing with YaReally and saying, nah, I can’t be bothered, I’d rather sit around and complain about not being able to get laid.” Former buddies/roommates have done EXACTLY that, believe it or not. For years on end. You can lead a horse to water etc etc lol The first thing we ALL do when we discover PUA is go “OMG I WANT TO SHARE THIS WITH ALL MY BUDDIES WHO WOULDN’T WANT TO GET LAID MORE???” but the reality is guys don’t want to hear it or won’t take it seriously enough to… Read more »
@Johnny – Expecting gratitude for being of service to a woman?
One popular (and logical) definition of insanity is when the individual repeats the same behavior over and over while expecting different results. Reactions are a consequence of actions that are mostly a priori determined by innate conditions. Remaining “plugged in” is inevitably insane. How much shame and how many beta errands, white knight rescue missions, futile romantic speculations, etc., must the typical modern moron experience before he begins to realize that pussy is pussy; that experiencing women as women is far better than “having relationships” with sex fantasies and feminist demons? “Unplugging” is more like climbing out of a pile… Read more »
@Sentient “”Do you think the Asian guys are having the same success banging them in an hour from online?”” I don’t think MOST guys are having the same success banging them in an hour from online. Part of that is the same reason I didn’t in the past–I just didn’t think it was possible. In the past it never occurred to me that women would be that horny. What the Red Pill has done is opened my eyes to that possibility. Then it becomes a situation of following through. The one girl who didn’t pan out…at first I was thinking… Read more »
YaReally, Sentient, HABD, wala, Scray, Scribblerg, Forge, quixotic et al Oh and mini-FR from this afternoon – was in a coffee shop. Scorching hot blonde HB8 sitting there alone. Like no man could walk into that place and not feel her sexual aura. Early 20s, blonde hair green eyes, slim body, great tits, dressed all in black – skintight jeans, boots, tight t-shirt and leather jacket, pretty features. Possibly an 8.5. If she’d had slightly prettier features would have been a HB9. I got my coffee and sat on the couch next to her – I noticed her of course… Read more »
OT but I think I finally get why always Gaming makes sense from the perspective of outcome independence. If you’re always doing it, it’s not a specific mode so there’s no additional effort sunk in to entering that mode. The feeling of exerting yourself to be in that mode naturally creates a feeling that you expended something and got nothing. A loss. If it’s a mode you’re always in, it doesn’t feel like you expended anything extra or lost anything.
ABG. Always Be Gaming.
@Sentient @Scribb It could go like this:
Wife: What do you want for your birthday?
Me: Well, the ex offered her pussy for me to cum in, so let’s use that as a baseline.
@Culum That’s why PUA originally used a lot of routine game…because in those moments where you’re frozen up, if you’ve been sarging a lot your brain will be like “say who lies more! now tease with nose wiggles when you laugh! Now transition into cold reading that she’s trouble! Now tell DHV story about coffee shop waitress flirting with you last time you were here! Now seed extraction to bar across street! Now spike BT with nose wiggles callback humor! Now lead across street to insta-date” etc etc and at some point in that barrage of autopilot shit your brain… Read more »