Ghosting

ghosting

Lately I’ve been refocusing my take on the process of mens’ unplugging and dealing with a new Red Pill informed way of living. The Gamer Girls post, while intentionally light reading (for TRM), was really a side of things I’ve wanted to explore for a bit now.

As most of my readers know I make efforts not to be prescriptive in what I write. I realize there’s going to be bias involved in any observed process, but as I’ve stated on this blog and in my books, applying the Red Pill isn’t one size fits all. While the truth of Red Pill awareness is universally understandable, the application of it needs an individualized approach.

I don’t sell sunshine and rainbows here. You wont find deliberately inspirational reheated Zig Ziglar quotes you can frame in some motivational poster. Anyone doing so has a business based on it. What you will get here is unvarnished, un-sugar coated Red Pill awareness that is actionable in ways you choose to leverage it. My intent is not to make you a better man, but to have you make you a better man, and I trust you to be intelligent enough to make the best decisions for yourself based on your new awareness.

As I stated in The Bitter Taste of the Red Pill,…

The truth will set you free, but it doesn’t make truth hurt any less, nor does it make truth any prettier, and it certainly doesn’t absolve you of the responsibilities that truth requires. One of the biggest obstacles guys face in unplugging is accepting the hard truths that Game forces upon them. Among these is bearing the burden of realizing what you’ve been conditioned to believe for so long were comfortable ideals and loving expectations are really liabilities.

At it’s most distilled, the Red Pill is a Praxeology (h/t SJF):

Praxeology is the study of those aspects of human action that can be grasped a priori; in other words, it is concerned with the conceptual analysis and logical implications of preference, choice, means-end schemes, and so forth.

Praxeologyis the deductive study of human action based on the notion that humans engage in purposeful behavior, as opposed to reflexive behavior like sneezing and inanimate behavior. According to its theorists, with the action axiom as the starting point, it is possible to draw conclusions about human behavior that are both objective and universal. For example, the notion that humans engage in acts of choice implies that they have preferences, and this must be true for anyone who exhibits intentional behavior.

As such, and by the way I define it, the praxeology of the Red Pill is subject to the same capacity for revision and refinement as any other science. A lot of critics, including ones who’ve come to it after failing to re-plug themselves back into the Matrix, would like to believe that the foundations of Red Pill awareness are just overly complex opinions based on the anecdotal, negative, experiences of a handful of manosphere luminaries.

The truth is that as a praxeology Red Pill awareness is ‘open source’ and will necessarily evolve as our understanding of human nature advances. As new biological, psychological and sociological understanding expands so too will our understanding of Red Pill awareness, and consequently methodologies to operate on them will too.

However, in the now, we still must deal with the consequent painful disillusionments from being cut away from a formerly Blue Pill existence. As I illustrated in The Bitter Taste of the Red Pill, that freeing truth comes at a price, and sometimes that price manifests in ways you don’t expect.

Many newly unplugged men make the connection that Red Pill awareness fundamentally alters the way they see the world and certainly the latent purpose of pop culture and media trends. That’s the easy recognition, however, the Red Pill Lens reveals many more painful truths and a lot of them hit pretty close to home. Dealing with family, interacting with close personal friends still mired in a Blue Pill conditioned existence, is not only frustrating, but revealing your new awareness can sometimes draw hostility and abandonment from them.

I’ve personally known guys who’ve read my body of work, came to a Red Pill awareness, and then immediately wanted to explain it all to their friends only to find themselves ostracized from their regular social group because their sudden change diametrically conflicts with what they’ve been conditioned to expect from him. It’s very frustrating for guys who want to excitedly, sometimes proudly, talk about the particulars of their new awareness and how it’s changed them for the better.

I know better than most I think. I’m Rollo Tomassi and I can’t exactly advertise it or even drop hints about the Red Pill in my daily life without some reservation. Mrs. Tomassi would like nothing better than to blather off about my two books to her family and friends, but I’ve dropped the hammer on this since I started this blog. Obviously it behooves me to maintain at least a semi-anonymous profile to make sure my wife and daughter aren’t the target of anyone’s net hate retaliations, but I also know that most of my family and certainly all of hers will never be ready to accept Red Pill awareness.

Never appeal to truth and reality unless you are prepared for the anger that comes for disenchantment.

Ghosting

PlansAndPlates from the Red Pill sub brought up an interesting topic recently.

People who knew you in your beta past will never respect you and you will never respect yourself if you choose to associate with them anymore.

I made a pretty brutal decision to ghost a lot of ‘friends’ from my past.

I decided if people treated me in a way they wouldn’t treat someone of high regard/respect/authority (their boss, their parent, whoever they look up to) then I would next them. Boy, girl, plate, ‘friend’, family member, whoever.

If a person doesn’t respect you, it could be your fault and it could be their fault – whoever enabled and created the relationship of disrespect is not actually important.

What’s important is the result; you’re associating with someone who treats you with disrespect, or lesser respect than those they actually respect, and there is no way a man can respect himself if he’s choosing to spend time with people who don’t respect him.

Note the word choose. Sometimes you have no choice, but when you have the option to say to yourself “You know what? Fuck this, I’m bailing” or “No fucking way am I going to see that guy” you must use it.

How can you respect yourself if you choose to associate with someone who doesn’t respect you? How can you do anything in life worth a shit? You’re going to spend all the time with them ‘proving’ to them you’re worthy of respect? You’re going to spite them until they respect you? Who gives a fuck what they think? Not only is it bad to give a fuck what someone thinks, they’re likely never going to respect you. Never ever. Once you decide you don’t respect somebody, how often do you change your mind? Do you erase your memories?

How can you believe in yourself if you don’t respect yourself? How are you going to follow a plan out to get healthy, get wealthy, get smart, if you don’t respect yourself?

For that reasons I ghosted a number of friendly acquaintances I considered friends, once I understood where I was in their hierarchy. Some I’d known for 10 years and had shared some good and bad memories with.

I do not regret it one bit.

People who don’t respect you won’t change how they perceive you once you better yourself, they’ll see the old you and a new imposter.

I am a strong believer that first impressions last, forever, and that if you have made an impression on some people that you are a beta, they will never forget where they’ve pigeon holed you. They will never treat you like an alpha and defer to you, how could they? They don’t respect you, they ‘know’ that you’re just ‘acting different’.

Compare that with new people. New people see what’s in front of them and they take it at face value that you’re a lean mean fucking machine who appears to have his shit in order and probably always has. Don’t tell them about your past when you didn’t, they don’t need the dream ruined. And if other people talk about your old ways, just agree and amplify and laugh about it – the new person wasn’t there and it’s just the other persons word against yours – and you’re a likable alpha, so they’ll think fuck it and believe you’re an alpha and always were.

Lesson: You should consider making some hard decisions about ghosting some people in your life who have disrespected you and boxed you into a ‘beta’ category in their memory. You could turn from the guy from Revenge of the Nerds into Connor McGregor and they’d only tell people about how you were the guy from Revenge of the Nerds. New people will take your fucking greatness at face value and when they hear reports that you’ve upgraded and shit test you, defuse the shit test with great laughter.

His point is simple with regard to respect, but this need for ghosting is a pragmatic response most guys see coming when they shift into Red Pill awareness. They know well ahead of time that certain friends, particularly close friends whose lives are invested in the illusions of a Blue Pill contentedness, will neither accept this new awareness nor the genuineness of their change in perspective.

Law 10 Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky

You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as disease. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.

Remember those Zig Ziglar optimistic ‘mindset’ peddlers I mentioned earlier? One tenet of that build-a-positive-fantasy-life mental model is the clichéd notion that you should surround yourself with winners and blow off the losers in your life. It’s a simple aphorism that rolls off the tongue easy; associate with winners and that winning will rub off on you. What they don’t tell you to do is how to cut out the unhappy and unlucky persons in your life who also happen to be your oldest friends or closest family members.

This is one of those painful truths that will set you free, but still stings like a bitch.

But eliminate them, or marginalize them you must. Most guys know this, or they come to know it as the first thing once they unplug. There’s a cost to Red Pill awareness.

The Price of Truth

I only rarely make an active effort to help unplug men these days. Now, I get that my books and this blog are an effort as such, but I mean in the sense of reaching out personally to a guy whom I think may be ready to consider the Red Pill truths about men and women.

I did make one recently and I was reminded again about the part in the Matrix where Morpheus explains to Neo that he’d broken protocol to unplug him. They never tried to free a mind once it reached a certain age. The mind has difficulties in letting go of “truths” it’s become dependent upon for its own survival.

That’s a pretty accurate analogy for dealing with unplugging other men as well as revealing Red Pill awareness to people too invested in a Blue Pill existence to listen to, much less acknowledge the rationality of a truth that destroys their self-sustaining ego investments.

But attempt it I did. The guy was a fairly high profile, but minor local celebrity who at 48 years old had just had a painful split with his 30 year old girlfriend. He’d been married once before, divorced for all the Blue Pill misguided pandering you might expect, and now here he was ‘blindsided’ by a girlfriend well above 2 SMV steps to his own. Even a basic understanding of the intersexual dynamics that the Red Pill illustrates would’ve spared him a repeat of his Beta behavior and her consequent dumping of him.

But there he was, again, in the same familiar depression due to the same repeated behaviors stemming from the same misinformed Blue Pill conditioned mindset. So I made the effort. I liked the guy. In most other aspects of life he’s very pragmatic, driven, focused and definitely Alpha. He’s got social proof, a low grade of celebrity, he’s affluent, and while somewhat arrogant at times very likable. However, he suffers from one fatal flaw – he is ego invested in a Blue Pill illusion of women so thoroughly that only a man who’s lived it his entire 48 years can understand it.

So I made an effort to just get him to read my book, or at least the Best of Year One posts. He’d have none of it. The reflexive response to what he’s been taught by the women in his life is misogyny short circuit for him. To be honest I was never really hopeful, but I made the effort from that base need to help another man avoid a painful fate – not unlike my reasons for writing at all.

I’ve got to ghost him now. Not because I’m an asshole or I’ve given up, but because it’s just not pragmatic to apply that effort when others would benefit more from it. He’s past that age Morpheus says the mind should never be freed and I’ve got to be OK with that.

That’s just the price of truth.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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Miguel
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Hello Rolo Tomassi. I watched this music video and I wanted to hear your thoughts about it. I wanted to email you directly but I couldn’t find a way to do it. Apologies if this is completely out of topic, but I have read some of your stuff and sometimes I run across things that I wonder what you would think about them. Here is one of those things. https://www.facebook.com/refinery29/videos/10154034372222922/?fref=nf

SJF
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@Miguel That video is a waste of time. The long 3:54 story short of it is the FI story of put woman on a pedestal because they have a vagina and they will hide it from you. It’s hidden for the imperative. And then some. And then shame you for “You males have it all wrong if you won’t pedestalize me and get me off via the clit.” Nice try. It is not very thought provoking. But feel free to ponder red pill praxeology. And wonder why your eyes hurt because you have never used them. Sorry for my bitterness.… Read more »

cheupez
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@Blax Thanks. You are right. I think when I used to fuck more women than I am doing now and I cared less. There were times I could do more than one in a day. I don’t think I would do that now. It appears as if I am just becoming more conscious that it hurt the women even then, and it makes me a bit uncomfortable…even blue at times. @Gamer Great suggestion. Actually I have no problems bringing some of the girls together. I do it sometimes. But some particular ones are not easy to put into “the mix”… Read more »

YaReally
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@scray “but if you’re still relying only on cold approach and sarging to get laid 2, 3, 4 years into it….idk….that strikes me as strange. like in that time you can build your own pussy harem.” Ya ultimately social circle game is the most efficient way of getting laid (and often leads to consistently hotter girls overall). Buuuut there are benefits to cold approach (like I like the anonymity and that it’s all on my terms…I’ve had big social circles before and it can be time consuming to maintain them and deal with drama etc, VS now where I’m keeping… Read more »

Morpheus
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Harlequin
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Hi All, First post and I’d like to start by thanking all the regular commentators here (and of course Rollo!) for the knowledge and time they contribute for men. It’s invaluable. I am in a slightly unique situation at the moment and would like your advice. I currently live on a small island with a complete derth of younger attractive women. I moved here a couple of years ago for the job oppurtunity and will be moving back to a big city come September. I’ve always done well with women (60+ notch count aged 25), but this place is whole… Read more »

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On the article, I’ve never found the need to ghost people consciously. Bring up red pill concepts with those friends you know will be receptive, and steer the conversation away from it with those that aren’t.

As long as they are still fun people who you enjoy hanging out with and bring value to your life. Those who become negative I’ll just naturally see less of, eg wont think to go for coffee’s/dinners/invite to events.

stuffinbox
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@ Thoughts? Hey guys I’m a 25yo stud trapped on an island of beautifull women what should I do. My gut reaction is a dick is easier to clean than a vagina. Women are more socially connected,as a result of this you were the last to know and not moving on will probably hurt your rep worse than doing so. There is a possibility that more than one of her compadres are desirous of your company and even may have pushed her in the direction of the other guy.How did you find out?. Small town girls and island girls want… Read more »

Culum Struan
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YaReally Sentient Quixotic HABD, Wala, Scray Scribblerg Forge Sun etc Double FR for Tuesday & Wednesday night Tuesday night FR – solo at the Latin dance club. For some people who may remember this is the same place where I encountered the DTF blonde HB7 mid-30s woman a few weeks ago and messed it up by asking her for drinks instead of going for the pull. No number closes or anything but I was pretty happy overall. I was following YaReally’s advice and targeted 10 opens, while maintaining state solo without drinking, and I managed 15 opens (including the last… Read more »

Culum Struan
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@Harlequin – welcome. Sounds like your situation is similar to mine in being cut off from the big city for a big part of the year (although I don’t really do anything when I’m in the small town – too messy with social circles etc, although sometimes I post FRs about married chicks hitting on me and IOIs at family events etc). As for your question – why are you upset? If you’re not exclusive, why do you think she was disrespectful to you? Also you don’t even know if the guy was a beta orbiter who bought her drinks… Read more »

Culum Struan
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@SJF – I watched both videos. My question was why ALL the early followers (the first 8-10) were men and not women. Why no women? I think you’re getting there in your comment when you talk about “leadership of other men” – it’s one of Mystery’s criteria and this guy is showing he is a Leader of Men, which is attractive to women (along with the social proof). When BOTH those characteristics build up enough and hit a tipping point, the chicks start joining in, followed by their male orbiters. But why no women in the early followers? Alternative explanation:… Read more »

Culum Struan
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@bluepillprofessor – just reading through some of the comments I missed yesterday.

Wow – it sounds like you’ve had an epically sucky time recently. No advice or anything but this is a good place to vent and get things off your chest (remember to obscure the details like money invested and business details so that you’re not identifiable!).

Culum Struan
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Sentient also I just read your FR from your business conference. I have a big 3 day offsite conference coming up in a month or so..I’m going to keep some of this stuff in mind. I can’t do too much overt stuff because this is going to be pretty crucial professionally but there’s still a lot that can be done

(and also I’m going to try turning up the Game to a low simmer even in Small Town. Not closing for social circle reasons but I need to internalize being “on” all the time..)

scribblerg
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@Culum – Enjoying your FRs a lot. Given my new realization that all my instincts after opening are wrong, lol, I’m listening mostly and learning. I do have one question. It seems to me that you might have tried a venue change? You also seem to see her time limits as real. Could you have said, “Let’s go for a walk?” I assume you number closed, yes?

Still, really good work I think. The aspect of stoking her desire and letting her come to you versus humping her leg really came through.

YaReally
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@Culum “My question was why ALL the early followers (the first 8-10) were men and not women. Why no women?” Got a big reply with an answer to this in mod. The jist is that women need more consensus that joining is the “in” thing to do, and joining guys too early looks slutty but when there’s a crowd they’re just joining a party, and note that they’ll usually join as groups (not slutty) instead of solo (slutty)…BlondeChick can’t come join even tho she wants to because no one in her group will go with her, I’d bet that her… Read more »

theasdgamer
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@ Harlequin

Dog training. Keep your value high and reduce attention when she misbehaves. Hypergamy is a bitch when women have all the options due to sex ratio distortion.

scribblerg
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@Harlequin – Wiser PUAs will chime in I’m sure, but a few things jump out at me. First, you are getting a little oneitis and needy and I’m sure this is coming through in your subcomms, hence her finding other dick. Second, the only way a man can have an abundance mentality is to have multiple plates. And if you are qualifying as a lover, not a provider, you will get away with it, so your worries about your rep etc are based on your lack of abundance mentality and oneitis. You are a ride on the cock carousel, not… Read more »

theasdgamer
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@ YaReally I think Krauser’s big problem in execution is that he doesn’t create enough sexual tension so that the girl ends up chasing him. The Juggler Method helped me to understand how sexual tension can help a man get a girl to chase him. I’ve always understood the importance of getting a girl to chase me, but connecting that to sexual tension had evaded me. Flirting is about creating sexual tension, of course. The heavier the flirting, the more sexual tension is created. And the distance matters, like you said. The less the distance, the higher the tension. It’s… Read more »

Harlequin
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@Culum, scribblerg, and others Appreciate the advice, very helpful. I think you’re spot on Culum, it’s bruised ego, and I should have made expectations more clear either way. Proactivity can be a lot better for setting the frame. I’ve never brought up the idea of commitment or exclusivity with a girl before, I like the girls coming to me and asking for it themselves. Classic divorced parents validation hunting. As for other plates, I’ll have a feel around, but I can count on both hands the number of girls I’d consider. I’ll carry on playing around on trips away and… Read more »

Agent P
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This just in from your bio-mechanical overlord and his servant, Hypergamy.

http://news.nationalpost.com/news/world/extremely-rare-set-of-vietnamese-twins-have-same-mother-but-different-fathers-dna-test-shows

We now return to our regularly scheduled FR’s.

Andy
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“LGBTBBQwhatever”

lol. What’s the extra ‘B’ for?

One observation I have about the whole dancing phenomenon… Little kids are just completely unstifled pretty much 24/7. That energy really is contagious. The moms, girls fucking LOVE it (I do too of course). If you see a little boy start dancing it’s pretty much inevitable he’ll be surrounded by a bunch of dancing chicks in about 30 seconds.

walawala
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@Culum you did great. Stick with the dance classes. Start to take it more seriously. Girls don’t like the self-effacing clown. They like a guy who’s passionate about it and that they can follow even if you’re still learning. Since I started Djing I’ve gained a larger following among girls—meaning when I do it, more girls come out than guys…which is the opposite than when the other clowns (mostly girls) do the djing. It also gives me a mystique. Lots of haters who I’ve had to ghost because they resent my popularity and actively try to undermine me by bad… Read more »

Agent P
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As for Ghosting, Perhaps I am lucky I never really felt the need. My social circle seems to be over populated with Alpha types who don’t fret over true love and all enjoy an abundance mentality even in their LTR’s and marriages. Like an RP newbie I did share some of my new found knowledge with a few friends who were kind of BP, but again they all had streaks of RP anyhow. These days I very rarely say anything overtly RP to friends etc, I just do it. Sure I blurt out obvious RP truths from time to time… Read more »

YaReally
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@Culum @scribblerg “You also seem to see her time limits as real” Right you COULD theoretically just make her late for whatever or tired at work the next day, like if you were Brad Pitt level value to her bla bla bla But that can start to risk accidentally entering horny dog humping her leg territory and if she for whatever reason really takes her logistical problem seriously and just won’t budge, you’re running a higher risk of getting a flake for the Day3 because of ASD. @theasdgamer “I think Krauser’s big problem in execution is that he doesn’t create… Read more »

stuffinbox
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@She pretty brazenly brought it up,sounds like she is holding the upper hand in a deuces wild game.
Your turn to deal,now it’s jokers wild.
I totally agree w/ Scrib &Culum btw,and it looks like you are one the right track.Also I have found over the years that the things I find attractive in women change ,as I do.

Agent P
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@walawala
What kind of stuff do you spin?

In my back room at home I have my 2 1200’s, mix board and a metric shit ton of vinyl

Andy
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All this eye contact stuff is ringing true for me as well. After it’s been a while, and I want the wife, I give her the look. She calls it my “eat me eyes”. I wish I could see from her perspective. Also, I have this unspoken sexual tension with a social circle chick. The other day I had to walk by her to leave. Like 2 feet away. We made eye contact for just a split second and it was just like BAM. Hard to explain. It’s fascinating to know that you can control it. Loading...

nnate1979
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I think this has a lot more to do with drugs than natural leadership…

TuffLuv
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@Harlequin She was probably just more into the other dude than you at the moment. She doesn’t realize her actions are leading her down the path to slutitude. She’s a beginner. The societal constraints to discourage her promiscuous behavior no longer exist, even on an isolated island apparently! My bet is that you are Alpha to her, but not her embodiment of pure AF in this moment, but more like the guy she could see herself loving and settling down with. You know, that right combination. Ergo, she probably puts on her best when she’s with you.. i.e. you two… Read more »

SJF
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“I think this has a lot more to do with drugs than natural leadership…”

LoL.

OK, say it does have to do with drugs.

Then call it natural followership……….

Sentient
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Sribblerg, Yareally Said”Also you don’t need a certain time of night or booze or whatever to build that sexual tension either…it can be a stone cold sober middle of the street in the bright afternoon light of day surrounded by a crowd of people and lasering plus cutting the space will still create that same sexual tension ” I’d add to this, in addition to cutting space and lasering – get your hands on them ASAP. Strong boyfriend posture kino is direct female hindbrain subcommunication. She is being handled in a familiar way by you, which feels to her like… Read more »

SJF
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@Andy “Little kids are just completely unstifled pretty much 24/7. That energy really is contagious. The moms, girls fucking LOVE it (I do too of course). If you see a little boy start dancing it’s pretty much inevitable he’ll be surrounded by a bunch of dancing chicks in about 30 seconds.” Yareally said: Society will do its best to stifle this kid and turn him into an AFC by the time he hits adulthood. They’ll lock and chain his instincts up until he can’t even remember being like this. And if he can manage to resist it, then he’ll have… Read more »

Wild Man
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@YaReally – the Krauser vid you linked where he talked alot abut his new theory that daygame intensity causes a dopamine depletion (and perhaps depletion of other neurotransmitters and hormones) that affects other parts of a committed daygamer’s life, leading to unfulfillment within other aspects of his life (not enough psychic energy left to bring to bear), is interesting. He doesn’t outright say that he is unfulfilled in other aspects of his life (he just alludes to this without actually outright saying so). He also strongly makes the point that his ideas around this only apply to daygamers that have… Read more »

Mazrim
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Man Rollo you sure ended that post w/a motherfucking gut punch! But a necessary one. I’ve had 2 best friends for nearly 25 yrs, I’ve considered them 1a and 1b. 1a has been married nearly 30 yrs and while he’s no supplicatting beta like my father, he’s certainly plugged in. 1b has been divorced and remarried an older broad w/$ who he never had the intention of ever being faithful to. He’s like a hypergamic male. Long story short, I’d shared a lot regarding Rollo w/bf 1a and we were jiving quite well, until I crossed the college rape hysteria… Read more »

Pinelero
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@Mazrim- you may remind him of his own weakness or his bitterness towards your mom.

Harlequin
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@Tuff Is any chick worth it? Thankfully I enjoy the game, the subtleties and plausible deniability of it all (hence being drawn here). I don’t know how people who don’t like that stuff naturally can put up with it. Her meeting this guy was definitely a contextual alpha moment, they met up at a very cool bar in a city he knows well in the UK. While the cats away the mice will play. I’ve been on the other side enough to know it means jack about your own worth. She wouldn’t have pulled it on island, too much of… Read more »

Forge the Sky
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@Rollo

So you make a post about ‘ghosting’ guys riiight when I have no time to keep up/comment.

Sorry man, I’ve just been really busy at work and the family life is hectic and….Not abandoning you bro! I’ll be around I promise!!

razz

Forge the Sky
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@Culum

Great comments this thread so far, I’m behind but loving your thinking aloud. I like the resolution to get off the dating sites. It’s good they’ve worked for you before, but it’s a real buffer.

Something about them has always seemed a bit…off about the whole dynamic of meeting a girl you didn’t walk up to and say hi. At least that’s what I feel.

Andy
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“It’s important to realize the dynamic, because mom’s will default to stifling masculine energy early (not that boys are masculine before puberty, they are proto-masculine).”

@SJF
Agreed. It’s a balancing act. I’ve been thinking about that lately myself. I have certain rules, but am I inadvertently beta-izing them? My guess is that most of this shit happens in the teen years.

stuffinbox
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@Rollo Tomassi
If I can say”Many are called few are chosen ” without giving you a messiah complex.
We may never know if the 80/20 paretto principal applies to red pill awakening,my guess is it does. If so the 20% are likely here.

Now I need to get back to work.

scray
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@all the manosphere is dangerous to all fledgling PUAs. there’s a lot of mental masturbation/rationalizing that masks itself as ‘deep philosophy.’ it isn’t. it’s just kicking the dirt and saying ‘i didn’t even WANT TO PLAY AND WIN ANYWAY.’ a lot of it is just as shitty as any fat acceptance movement for women or whatever else. remember PUA says to leave them better than you find them. lol you CANNOT do that if you’re in a negative headspace bubble. i’m super thankful for game and PUA because they’ve made me more open to other points of view. when you… Read more »

Sun Wukong
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While I’m sure this article is not at all inaccurate in its initial premise, what I find interesting is the attempt to conflate an almost 100% genetic condition among men (height) with an almost 100% environmental condition for women (weight). The story tries to treat it as though these are both conditions people are helpless to change that affect their pay.

It would be hilarious if chicks weren’t buying in to it.

Sentient
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Culum Great stuff you’re doing. I hope others recognize the value of FR’s and then tweeking your game. Between CH’s post today on Sex Stare (and the Keys to the VIP vid someone posted where there is a stare and a kiss) and your FR here: “Then a couple minutes later, I lasered again and cut distance SLOWLY without speaking. She came in too, expecting me to kiss her (still lasering). Then I stopped and let the sexual tension spike and for a second you could see the expressions flash across her face – a bit of surprise, then a… Read more »

Blaximus
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@Rollo

… fuck that Tomassi guy…. Lmao. That’s funny.

TRM is different from 90% of the manosphere sites out there. I say ” 90%” because I don’t really know if there is a possible 10% that I am unaware of.

But I doubt it.

Men understand that there are negative sides to life. The only way to avoid ” negativity ” is to a) Live in a false, fantasy world in your mind. b) Stop breathing.

And as always, ” positive ” is meaningless without ” negative “. Yin and Yang.

The longing for the soft and easy solution is detrimental.

SJF
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Andy, you won’t betatize them. Your wife and their grade school teachers will because of social conventions. And some moms don’t get the right memo when the boys are three years old.

You just don’t want to suppress what would be normal boy behavior and masculine behavior as a man in the future.

It starts in grade school.

Team sports are good for teenagers, but you got to start at like 9 to be proficient at a sport later.

http://therationalmale.com/2014/12/05/teach-your-children-well/

I didn’t have any suppressing of masculinity issues for myself or haven’t diagnosed any problems in my 21 y.o. son yet.

Andy
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“Your wife and their grade school teachers will because of social conventions.”

@SJF
I think that might be starting to flip back again. smile The recent Mom outrage (mom-rage?) I’ve seen is at a lack of exercise/play time and too much homework.

YaReally
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@Wild Man He’s just unfulfilled because he’s bored. He made his daygame product and has to stick to it so his brain is bored. Someone posted about plateauing earlier in this comment thread, same shit as that basically. The game is a boring grind to him because it’s not engaging anymore…he’s getting just enough results to not bother trying anything new and he’s too insecure to risk purposely getting blown out a shitload to try new shit and even if he tried new shit he would have to change his product that he’s built his name on so he’s trapped… Read more »

Sun Wukong
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@YaReally

getting into Twitter fights with Krauser about immigrants

Basically you’re saying he’s the opposite of the people Anthony Jeselnik makes fun of:

stuffinbox
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@Blaximus

I am a firm believer in the 80/20 rule the 60/40 split,1/3 1/3 1/3 contract pmt schedule and the 20% profit margin.

Anonymous Reader
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Agent P, I bet that happens more often than we think, it just doesn’t get into the press. Could be the second frat twin was obviously different, therefore DNA test. If both twins were even vaguely similar the woman would bring a lot of subtle “of COURSE they are both yours!” pressure to bear and a new father would likely cave in, not bother to check.

walawala
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@Agent P I have a collection of Latin Music…pretty basic gear: iTunes and a mixer. The key is understanding the music and knowing how layer it for a night so everyone is up dancing. I used to host and organize parties…So I took up djing last year after one of my dj’s threw a hissy fit threatening not to do a party. Once I put my mind to it…I developed a style and approach that blew away half the other dj’s in the clique. Naturally they started to resent me. They couldn’t criticize the music. So they would try to… Read more »

Bachelorocles
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Great article!! I became semi-Red Pill in the 1990s after studying evo psych and reading HL Mencken and some of the classic philosophers. I thought I was insane because I thought I was alone. I literally thought there might be something wrong with me. And then in 2012 I discovered the Manosphere and realized I’m far from alone. Thank God. But then I became a Red Pill evangelist. Mistake. Buddies will stop liking you. I think these blue pill schmucks know deep down the extent of the iron-fisted domestic servitude under which they labor. Preaching to them only reminds them… Read more »

SJF
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@Yareally “A lot of the Manosphere is like this too, because they’re too concerned with being “cool” being James Bond so they won’t risk embarrassing their egos by stepping outside of that character, that’s why they sound depressed as fuck about the game, half of them aren’t even having FUN out there even when they get laid. They’re just going through the motions and it feels empty.” Yep, Krauser is stuck in a plateau, and he is fatigued. Probably because of all the hating. Krauser is fatigued and in a stage of unconscious competence. His game is certainly in a… Read more »

SJF
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Plateaus I benefit greatly by plateaus. Just like I have mentioned before in regard to ego-investments. They are not all bad. There are fantastically good ego investments if they are productive ego-investments. It’s the bad ones you have to distance yourself from. Enhance your strengths, minimize your weaknesses. All my life I have found myself charging hard. I used to have the mindset when I ran (jogged) for health improvement I had to go hard. To really push myself. I used to pair up with a neighborhood buddy before wrestling season and run three miles 3 times a week after… Read more »

stuffinbox
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Domain dependence ; Excellent post I can see how my own use of buffers was {is} self delusional.And I also can see how the dysfunctional life the use of these created caused me enough discomfort to find my way to this website. Like the movie flatliners w/ the 100 levels of lower consciousness,There are also 100s of levels of higher awareness.Some people get mad when I wake them up. We mainly see what we choose to see,until what we don’t see hits us in the face,then we still don’t recognize it for what it is.This can either send us on… Read more »

stuffinbox
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Now if I need 4 men I can call the union office and request 20 men and at the end of the first day write 16 checks. And have a functional crew,and yes most of them will have their face in the smart phone at breaktime. Out of every hundred grossed 40 to wages 60 to the company,out of the 60, 40 to expenses 20 to net. First 1/3 good faith at sign up,second 1/3 at half shown completion third 1/3 after punch list. Even so a man can knock on 100 doors to get laid once.While a woman can… Read more »

stuffinbox
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Incidentally,joke em if they can’t take a fuck.

Blaximus
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@ cheupez “…I think when I used to fuck more women than I am doing now and I cared less. There were times I could do more than one in a day. I don’t think I would do that now. It appears as if I am just becoming more conscious that it hurt the women even then, and it makes me a bit uncomfortable…even blue at times.” Negative sir. Unacceptable. Why do you think that you are becoming more conscious about women’s feels? Lemme ask you something. Is the real issue that none of the multiple women thing is really… Read more »

Blaximus
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@ SJF ” I benefit greatly by plateaus. Just like I have mentioned before in regard to ego-investments. They are not all bad. There are fantastically good ego investments if they are productive ego-investments. It’s the bad ones you have to distance yourself from. Enhance your strengths, minimize your weaknesses ” So much this right here. A bad ego investment becomes apparent when you notice your progress at whatever, is slowing to a dead stop. A plateau is a wonderful opportunity to make adjustments and proceed. My part-time boxing coach and I have reached a happy plateau. After 6 months… Read more »

Roused
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Blax,

What the fuck. Maybe you didn’t know (or maybe you did) but your posts were not only helpful to Cheupez but others. Thanks man. All started with that fucking panda and bucket of popcorn, laughed my ass off at that.

You and SJF posted some righteously good shit, thanks man. Damn emotional manipulations by women fuck guys up in the head if they don’t keep their mental point of origin. Not spewing out my story from this week but what I just read hit the nail right on the head. Need to go find a jug of fucking Visine.

Sun Wukong
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@Blaximus Thank God for quality headgear, but I still may be going to concussion land. Last kickboxing coach I worked with had a massive chip on her shoulder and tossed me in the ring with a semi pro fighter. Told him to basically beat the shit out me. No headgear. My bell got rung hard and she panicked when I wouldn’t get out of the ring and stayed on my feet. Served the bitch right. I never went back. Disrespectful cunt accused me of just talking while I was standing in the ring taking a beating from a dude with… Read more »

cptnemo2013
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Reblogged this on MGTOW 2.0.

Blaximus
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@Sun

Damn man. No headgear? I feel for you. No tainer should ever do shit like that. Ever. Glad you made it out okay because you were in a very dangerous place.

My trainer goes easy untill my skills progress,but he always insistd on gear. He’s a former Army boxing champ and a good amateur light heavyweight. Now he trains promiding amateurs. He’s 12 yesrs younger and in better fighting shape than me. He could hospitalize me easily, so we take ressonable precautions.

Blaximus
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Thanx roused

Blaximus
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….Damn tiny phone keyboard. I need smaller fingers.

Sun Wukong
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@Blaximus Yeah, that trainer had pretty reckless disregard for my safety. Was pissy that I wanted to remain in wing chun at the same time, but instead of just saying “Look choose my class or theirs,” thought proving a point via a beating would be better. Lotta ego problems out there in the martial arts community, and they’re very dangerous. Fortunately my wing chun school is far more sensible. No getting in the ring until you’re my current rank. I’ve had a couple scuffles with one of the other senior students bare-fisted when his temper got out of control, but… Read more »

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@Sun, SJF, Blax, Ya, Scray, Sentient – fuck, everyone here – Re: Consistent motivation. I find my motivation is all over the place these days and I’m not being consistently motivated and effective. @SJF – Going hard at everything, I get it and am not doing it consistently. How can I develop better mental consistency and discipline? When I was younger I was super motivated and didn’t have this problem but I find my negative ways of thinking creep back in and then I beat them back but the cycles are really disruptive to making the kind of progress I… Read more »

Agent P
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@walawala,
Cool with the Latin tunes. My thing is more tech house, deep techno, with some more Baleric deep chunky house too. Then spin off into some down beat ambient occasionally for coming down after a big night.

Glad its coming along for you, fuck the haters, the crowd votes with its feet on how you’re doing, its simple.

scribblerg
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Maybe Ya shared this at some point but it got through to me on a massive level so I figured I’d share it. Simply amazing instant pickup broken down from an “internals” POV.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWN-aCFQ9ZQ&w=560&h=315%5D

SJF
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@ScriblerG If I may hazard a recommendation geared specifically for you, I sense a determination on your part to win the lottery, hit a home run, fuck a hottie ASAP. Always be doing everything at once, all the time wanting everything to be perfect from the top down. (this is just my cold read). Concentrate on small things to retrain your brain. Concentrate on doing individual parts of the whole of your life well. Over the last three years, I have slowed down my expectations of what I can accomplish at my farm. Five years I was frustrated by wanting… Read more »

IAS
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@Scribblerg: this may just be philosophy without much actionable advice but…

You should not rely on motivation and you should not expect to remain motivated. You can and will rely on discipline.

Do things for your growth even if you don’t want to do them and are not motivated to do them. Set out to do it in advance, and when it is time to do it don’t allow yourself to rationalize and talk yourself out of it.

I’m not perfect doing this, but it is a good mentality.

Sentient
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Scribblerg “How can I develop better mental consistency and discipline? When I was younger I was super motivated and didn’t have this problem but I find my negative ways of thinking creep back in and then I beat them back but the cycles are really disruptive to making the kind of progress I want to make now. I have some great days but others it’s like dragging myself through mud and i just get off track. Any ideas on how to do better on this count would be great guys, thanks!!” It’s easy to get motivated when you are having… Read more »

Sentient
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and by no FAP that’s real NO FAP… No ooops it just happened in the shower.

Also – check the engine. How’s your T level hoss?

Sentient
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Blax… That Turkey day story… LOL… Thumbs up!

scribblerg
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@SJF – Great stuff but I’m confused about an aspect of what you are saying. Let me get precise: I’m not trying to become better at these things – I have all the skills in my business and working out etc. I get the “how to practice differently” thing and rewiring and how that would work to improve my guitar playing but that is not the nature of my question. In my work, I already have the skill/mastery. What happens is I get shut down and just am not motivated some days to work hard and grow the business and… Read more »

theasdgamer
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Re motivation: There will be days you aren’t motivated. You need to plan for these. Good habits will carry you past low spots. Discipline and order build good habits. Plan for days you need to encourage yourself. Have a plan in place you can rely on to encourage yourself. Some Victor Pride article, maybe. Minimize as much as you can any emotional dependence on others and on outcomes. Outcome independence. Revisit your mission statement and read it. Why do you want your life to have certain characteristics? What is your plan to achieve it? These low spots are an opportunity… Read more »

Bromeo
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“According to this universal and highly scientific metric most PUAs are betas. Why? Because Pick Up Artistry is nothing more than a cheap imitation of masculinity. It is the art of acting alpha without putting in the work to become alpha.”

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/49ytb4/i_cant_believe_its_not_alpha/

Good read.

cheupez
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@Blax

“I tell her my dick hurts.” Hahahaaa…

You, sir, are crazy!

stuffinbox
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@Scribblerg

Having the same problem.Just getting started doing something is the hardest.Once I get going things start to flow,everything joints, muscles,mind,process it all starts to flow.
So i am going out right now and clean the cobwebs off the bike,and go on a quest for initiative.
Something new always sparks initiative;a project,tool,woman or just getting off this same anthill for a new scene.
Fuckin just got to find some way to live in that sense of adventure.

Bromeo
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Takeaways:

“The heart of PUA is the idea that pussy is the prize. They do everything for pussy. Extrinsic motivation is always inferior to intrinsic.”

“These men toil for hours on external, even spurious indicators of value, without ever taking the time to truly develop value as a man.”

“Look at Roosh and Neil Straus now. They invested so much time and ego into the pussy chase that their self worth is utterly dependent on it.”

Sentient
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scribblerg “When I get in a good state, I just get my work done and enjoy it and am very productive. When I “force it” I can’t sustain, get distracted make mistakes. Separate this from pickup for a moment, how do I get in that good “flow state” for work and day to day life?” having been a lifelong entrepreneur and capitalist pirate warrior… I learned long long ago, from a serial entrepreneur, to never try and force it… ONE good call, 5 minutes worth, can make my year… 1,000 forced calls always lead NOT to nothing but to NOT… Read more »

stuffinbox
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Yes sentient sometimes we just need recreation,re-creation.

cheupez
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Some PUAs have their shit together on the money frontier than many of us will ever do. Some don’t. But so what? Instead of pretending that PUAs are losers, let us all learn game and also get our shit together in other areas too. Learning social skills never hurt anyone. It is sick to see how some guys just fuk up good opportunities because they will not submit enough to learn from people that know more than they do. PUAs have a big role to play in the making of a successful man. Guys like Ya Really have taken time… Read more »

IAS
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@Rollo: the article is by GLO, who often tries to be entertaining at the cost of insightful. He has good stuff but I don’t particularly agree with that one. Even though many PUAs are (and continue to be) Blue Pill, Mystery is possibly Blue Pill for example. Tyler I think is fairly Red Pill.

Sun Wukong
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@Bromeo From TFA: Combat sports are so physiologically and psychologically stressful that they will make everything seem benign by comparison. Well if that’s the case, then genuine combat experience must be even better for solving the problem. Oh wait. There is no silver bullet. Not PUA teachings. Not martial arts. Not military experience. Not a bunch of reading. Not lifting. In my mind, you have to do everything in your power to improve yourself, not expecting any one thing to be the key or the weakest link. You need it all to actually be alpha. It’s the upper 20% (or… Read more »

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“But I feel like my mind is disorganized and chaotic, and it’s not just my ego.” I also feel myself thrown into negative thinking instinctively often and I think this is the best way to describe the struggle for me. It’s not an exaggeration to say I’m addicted to the payoffs in my brain chemistry from negative emotions and thinking.” “Am I making any sense?” I apologize in advance for the wall of words and the cut and paste. My mind is disorganized and chaotic at the moment. (I should check my blood sugar.) Yes, you are making a lot… Read more »

scribblerg
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@Sentient – Holy shit. Yep. I’m forcing it and know better. I developed this grinder mentality when younger and it never works well as a master but I find myself falling back on it as a try to rebuild myself. It’s also crucial that I’m on when doing things like strategy sessions for clients, big sales calls, or doing public speaking. And yes, that one call is where most of my money comes from, not by making 1000. I learned this all when younger. I remember a crucial moment for me when doing a lot of cold calling when I… Read more »

Andy
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It’s interesting to see how a lot of naturals just have no frame of reference at all to a normal guy’s life. It’s as if they are literally incapable of understanding. They also seem to be prone to shitty attitudes and probably have lower ceilings because of it. I don’t envy them.

scray
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“How can I develop better mental consistency and discipline? ” this is sort of what i was getting at wrt the whole cold approach thing. like, cold approach will just never be efficient at getting you laid. and if pure cold approach is all you do, the rejection may eventually start to wear on you. that’s why, you have to start broadening your horizons. build several mini social circles that each serve a need. one for activity x, another for activity y, etc. and only allow certain people in to these social circles — i..e ones that respect all of… Read more »

scray
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“They also seem to be prone to shitty attitudes and probably have lower ceilings because of it. I don’t envy them.” yes and no. guys new to the game get obsessed with being ‘non-reactive.’ and so they kind of laugh to themselves when they see naturals going apeshit over everything….and they’re like ‘lol look at those ridiculous naturals.’ but here’s the thing —- they’re going home and getting laid. new PUAs usually aren’t. the first rule is just to do whatever the fuck you want at any given time. that’s what you’ve been avoiding your whole life.you can’t do this,… Read more »

scribblerg
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@SJF – Damn, so spot on. And yeah, I’m still stuck in martyr complex in some ways. Also, being present is key and due to years of practice, i can summon up a mindful state at certain moments at will. I also practice mindfulness at other times, when walking or driving is especially helpful as mindfulness while doing is the point. Not escaping into a mindful meditation state as a way of medicating while sitting in lotus position. The purpose of that kind of meditation is to cultivate mindfulness to have when in the world. This is a distinction about… Read more »

Andy
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“naturals may go crazy and yell and whatever else, but a lot of the time, the people who are around them are over there reacting like crazy to whatever bullshit they’re doing.”

I don’t know many naturals in real life. But look at the comments in that thread Bromeo linked. They’re like fucking solipsistic chicks with dicks.

scray
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“I don’t know many naturals in real life. But look at the comments in that thread Bromeo linked. They’re like fucking solipsistic chicks with dicks.” yes, that is true. that’s where a lot of game comes from though….hot chicks and naturals. when you get really good at game, you start living life much more like a hot chick. you aren’t afraid of contradicting yourself or acting on impulse because who gives a fuck? when someone calls you a hypocrite or whatever you just laugh in their face…because rules are for other people, not you. eventually you need to start setting… Read more »

Andy
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“eventually you need to start setting up some rules…
but that’s so that you won’t RUIN YOUR FUCKING LIFE.”

Is that meant for me?

scray
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“Is that meant for me?”

no it’s meant for everyone.

but ya i’m sure it applies to you too.

idk when you get there you get it….

the turbo hotties are always trying to push you past your limits

newlyaloof
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FR: Went to Wal-Mart yesterday with my son to get my oil changed (yeah, going the cheap route). Give the guy my keys and go into waiting room. Hot 8 silver-black haired milf sitting there, dressed to impress, looked like a well-put-together rich lady, nice tight curvy body. I open with, “Hello to you.” She smiles and says hi back. We sit down and my son immediately gets restless. Me too cause I know I had to chat more with her. But she beats me to the punch with, “Would you like a comic book for your son to read.… Read more »

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