Lately I’ve been refocusing my take on the process of mens’ unplugging and dealing with a new Red Pill informed way of living. The Gamer Girls post, while intentionally light reading (for TRM), was really a side of things I’ve wanted to explore for a bit now.
As most of my readers know I make efforts not to be prescriptive in what I write. I realize there’s going to be bias involved in any observed process, but as I’ve stated on this blog and in my books, applying the Red Pill isn’t one size fits all. While the truth of Red Pill awareness is universally understandable, the application of it needs an individualized approach.
I don’t sell sunshine and rainbows here. You wont find deliberately inspirational reheated Zig Ziglar quotes you can frame in some motivational poster. Anyone doing so has a business based on it. What you will get here is unvarnished, un-sugar coated Red Pill awareness that is actionable in ways you choose to leverage it. My intent is not to make you a better man, but to have you make you a better man, and I trust you to be intelligent enough to make the best decisions for yourself based on your new awareness.
As I stated in The Bitter Taste of the Red Pill,…
The truth will set you free, but it doesn’t make truth hurt any less, nor does it make truth any prettier, and it certainly doesn’t absolve you of the responsibilities that truth requires. One of the biggest obstacles guys face in unplugging is accepting the hard truths that Game forces upon them. Among these is bearing the burden of realizing what you’ve been conditioned to believe for so long were comfortable ideals and loving expectations are really liabilities.
At it’s most distilled, the Red Pill is a Praxeology (h/t SJF):
Praxeology is the study of those aspects of human action that can be grasped a priori; in other words, it is concerned with the conceptual analysis and logical implications of preference, choice, means-end schemes, and so forth.
Praxeologyis the deductive study of human action based on the notion that humans engage in purposeful behavior, as opposed to reflexive behavior like sneezing and inanimate behavior. According to its theorists, with the action axiom as the starting point, it is possible to draw conclusions about human behavior that are both objective and universal. For example, the notion that humans engage in acts of choice implies that they have preferences, and this must be true for anyone who exhibits intentional behavior.
As such, and by the way I define it, the praxeology of the Red Pill is subject to the same capacity for revision and refinement as any other science. A lot of critics, including ones who’ve come to it after failing to re-plug themselves back into the Matrix, would like to believe that the foundations of Red Pill awareness are just overly complex opinions based on the anecdotal, negative, experiences of a handful of manosphere luminaries.
The truth is that as a praxeology Red Pill awareness is ‘open source’ and will necessarily evolve as our understanding of human nature advances. As new biological, psychological and sociological understanding expands so too will our understanding of Red Pill awareness, and consequently methodologies to operate on them will too.
However, in the now, we still must deal with the consequent painful disillusionments from being cut away from a formerly Blue Pill existence. As I illustrated in The Bitter Taste of the Red Pill, that freeing truth comes at a price, and sometimes that price manifests in ways you don’t expect.
Many newly unplugged men make the connection that Red Pill awareness fundamentally alters the way they see the world and certainly the latent purpose of pop culture and media trends. That’s the easy recognition, however, the Red Pill Lens reveals many more painful truths and a lot of them hit pretty close to home. Dealing with family, interacting with close personal friends still mired in a Blue Pill conditioned existence, is not only frustrating, but revealing your new awareness can sometimes draw hostility and abandonment from them.
I’ve personally known guys who’ve read my body of work, came to a Red Pill awareness, and then immediately wanted to explain it all to their friends only to find themselves ostracized from their regular social group because their sudden change diametrically conflicts with what they’ve been conditioned to expect from him. It’s very frustrating for guys who want to excitedly, sometimes proudly, talk about the particulars of their new awareness and how it’s changed them for the better.
I know better than most I think. I’m Rollo Tomassi and I can’t exactly advertise it or even drop hints about the Red Pill in my daily life without some reservation. Mrs. Tomassi would like nothing better than to blather off about my two books to her family and friends, but I’ve dropped the hammer on this since I started this blog. Obviously it behooves me to maintain at least a semi-anonymous profile to make sure my wife and daughter aren’t the target of anyone’s net hate retaliations, but I also know that most of my family and certainly all of hers will never be ready to accept Red Pill awareness.
Never appeal to truth and reality unless you are prepared for the anger that comes for disenchantment.
Ghosting
PlansAndPlates from the Red Pill sub brought up an interesting topic recently.
People who knew you in your beta past will never respect you and you will never respect yourself if you choose to associate with them anymore.
I made a pretty brutal decision to ghost a lot of ‘friends’ from my past.
I decided if people treated me in a way they wouldn’t treat someone of high regard/respect/authority (their boss, their parent, whoever they look up to) then I would next them. Boy, girl, plate, ‘friend’, family member, whoever.
If a person doesn’t respect you, it could be your fault and it could be their fault – whoever enabled and created the relationship of disrespect is not actually important.
What’s important is the result; you’re associating with someone who treats you with disrespect, or lesser respect than those they actually respect, and there is no way a man can respect himself if he’s choosing to spend time with people who don’t respect him.
Note the word choose. Sometimes you have no choice, but when you have the option to say to yourself “You know what? Fuck this, I’m bailing” or “No fucking way am I going to see that guy” you must use it.
How can you respect yourself if you choose to associate with someone who doesn’t respect you? How can you do anything in life worth a shit? You’re going to spend all the time with them ‘proving’ to them you’re worthy of respect? You’re going to spite them until they respect you? Who gives a fuck what they think? Not only is it bad to give a fuck what someone thinks, they’re likely never going to respect you. Never ever. Once you decide you don’t respect somebody, how often do you change your mind? Do you erase your memories?
How can you believe in yourself if you don’t respect yourself? How are you going to follow a plan out to get healthy, get wealthy, get smart, if you don’t respect yourself?
For that reasons I ghosted a number of friendly acquaintances I considered friends, once I understood where I was in their hierarchy. Some I’d known for 10 years and had shared some good and bad memories with.
I do not regret it one bit.
People who don’t respect you won’t change how they perceive you once you better yourself, they’ll see the old you and a new imposter.
I am a strong believer that first impressions last, forever, and that if you have made an impression on some people that you are a beta, they will never forget where they’ve pigeon holed you. They will never treat you like an alpha and defer to you, how could they? They don’t respect you, they ‘know’ that you’re just ‘acting different’.
Compare that with new people. New people see what’s in front of them and they take it at face value that you’re a lean mean fucking machine who appears to have his shit in order and probably always has. Don’t tell them about your past when you didn’t, they don’t need the dream ruined. And if other people talk about your old ways, just agree and amplify and laugh about it – the new person wasn’t there and it’s just the other persons word against yours – and you’re a likable alpha, so they’ll think fuck it and believe you’re an alpha and always were.
Lesson: You should consider making some hard decisions about ghosting some people in your life who have disrespected you and boxed you into a ‘beta’ category in their memory. You could turn from the guy from Revenge of the Nerds into Connor McGregor and they’d only tell people about how you were the guy from Revenge of the Nerds. New people will take your fucking greatness at face value and when they hear reports that you’ve upgraded and shit test you, defuse the shit test with great laughter.
His point is simple with regard to respect, but this need for ghosting is a pragmatic response most guys see coming when they shift into Red Pill awareness. They know well ahead of time that certain friends, particularly close friends whose lives are invested in the illusions of a Blue Pill contentedness, will neither accept this new awareness nor the genuineness of their change in perspective.
Law 10 Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky
You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as disease. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.
Remember those Zig Ziglar optimistic ‘mindset’ peddlers I mentioned earlier? One tenet of that build-a-positive-fantasy-life mental model is the clichéd notion that you should surround yourself with winners and blow off the losers in your life. It’s a simple aphorism that rolls off the tongue easy; associate with winners and that winning will rub off on you. What they don’t tell you to do is how to cut out the unhappy and unlucky persons in your life who also happen to be your oldest friends or closest family members.
This is one of those painful truths that will set you free, but still stings like a bitch.
But eliminate them, or marginalize them you must. Most guys know this, or they come to know it as the first thing once they unplug. There’s a cost to Red Pill awareness.
The Price of Truth
I only rarely make an active effort to help unplug men these days. Now, I get that my books and this blog are an effort as such, but I mean in the sense of reaching out personally to a guy whom I think may be ready to consider the Red Pill truths about men and women.
I did make one recently and I was reminded again about the part in the Matrix where Morpheus explains to Neo that he’d broken protocol to unplug him. They never tried to free a mind once it reached a certain age. The mind has difficulties in letting go of “truths” it’s become dependent upon for its own survival.
That’s a pretty accurate analogy for dealing with unplugging other men as well as revealing Red Pill awareness to people too invested in a Blue Pill existence to listen to, much less acknowledge the rationality of a truth that destroys their self-sustaining ego investments.
But attempt it I did. The guy was a fairly high profile, but minor local celebrity who at 48 years old had just had a painful split with his 30 year old girlfriend. He’d been married once before, divorced for all the Blue Pill misguided pandering you might expect, and now here he was ‘blindsided’ by a girlfriend well above 2 SMV steps to his own. Even a basic understanding of the intersexual dynamics that the Red Pill illustrates would’ve spared him a repeat of his Beta behavior and her consequent dumping of him.
But there he was, again, in the same familiar depression due to the same repeated behaviors stemming from the same misinformed Blue Pill conditioned mindset. So I made the effort. I liked the guy. In most other aspects of life he’s very pragmatic, driven, focused and definitely Alpha. He’s got social proof, a low grade of celebrity, he’s affluent, and while somewhat arrogant at times very likable. However, he suffers from one fatal flaw – he is ego invested in a Blue Pill illusion of women so thoroughly that only a man who’s lived it his entire 48 years can understand it.
So I made an effort to just get him to read my book, or at least the Best of Year One posts. He’d have none of it. The reflexive response to what he’s been taught by the women in his life is misogyny short circuit for him. To be honest I was never really hopeful, but I made the effort from that base need to help another man avoid a painful fate – not unlike my reasons for writing at all.
I’ve got to ghost him now. Not because I’m an asshole or I’ve given up, but because it’s just not pragmatic to apply that effort when others would benefit more from it. He’s past that age Morpheus says the mind should never be freed and I’ve got to be OK with that.
That’s just the price of truth.
YaReally Sentient Quixotic et al Just a quick follow up to my FR reports (ASD girl and kiddie club) from the previous thread – thanks for the feedback on the club and the ASD girl. My key takeaways for ASD girl from what you’ve all posted are as follows. Basically it’s like YaReally says – you go to one extreme, then you correct back, then the other way etc. Too much sexualising, too little, etc. The previous “circle” I did in late 2014/early 2015 taught me not to trigger ASD by turning on a girl when I had no logistics… Read more »
@ Rollo Tomassi My interpretation of ghosting is not the same as nexting or writing people off and I would assume yours isn’t either. Immediately after posting my comment at 5:55am I picked up the phone and texted my son.He is 33yo w/ 43yo wife she and her two early 20s daughters have taken over his life for the last ten years.A total feminist witch and two party girls. I personaly have been labeled a mysoginist prick since the age of 13,and speak my mind w/zgf. I bought him your books for his 33rd b day,and told him they were… Read more »
@stuff,
YaReally thanks dude. It seems to me that those two approaches aren’t mutually exclusive..you can run the routines and also sarge a lot and it should speed up the process of being able to wing it. ANd you’ll have the routines to back you up if needed anyway. What would I have done differently? Hmm. Basically I could have run a modified version of my online stack which I’ve done like a million times and can do on autopilot (derived and heavily modified from something Walawala posted – it starts with “You look like trouble” and goes on to a… Read more »
@ Rollo
Thank You great clip!
I am totaly proud of my son and he knows this.
@Sun I guess that’s what happens when you’ve ghosted on your own family for their abusive behavior. Makes ghosting on future damaging relationships much easier. I did this as well, actually before I read a single word of an RP blog. There were a number of reasons for it, but the short of it is my entire family was subtly dominated and abused by the women in it. It’s accurate to say the women had no conscious knowledge of their abusive behavior. My dad was never alpha, as he had been emotionally abused by his dad. Quite the string of… Read more »
People might find this blow-by-blow account of one guy’s journey to moving on from his old circle of friends who wanted to make him conform relatable
https://intplayer.wordpress.com/2015/11/14/ditching-friends/
@Newlyaloof
LOL… But I’ve made a change
Wife: What do you want for your birthday?
Me: Well, the ex offered her pussy for me to cum in, [PAUSE] I’M THINKING ABOUT IT… WHAT YOU GOT?
@Sentient Commitment to self-improvement does not a purple-piller make. I did issue the ultimatum and she said leave. That was a year ago. She hasnt made a move and I’m still there.. Sex 3X per week including stuff I hear most marrieds lose out on after the first year. I have a bugout bag and cash and still dont know if/when the shoe drops but definitely mixed signals and still trying to figure out is this just mild BPD brattiness that I can live with or about to get divorce raped. you’re probly right re: upping Alpha, thanks.
AJ
Trying to process this… So YOU issue an ultimatum, SHE tells YOU to leave (wtf?)… and then you sit around waiting for HER to make HER move?
That right?
Sounds to me she is going to monkey branch you hoss… If you issue an ultimatum and they challenge you and you fold, what does that say?
Sun Wukong “ABG. Always Be Gaming.” YES!!!! There is no difference… just BE game. Once you get past the fear of “failure” it will become just a part of you. It will become YOU. And in fact, you won’t be able to turn it off… like you will struggle to real yourself in in situations where you might have to… The other day I was at a business conference – lot of clients I work with and professionals I work with. Since I’m married, I don’t try and pick up these things typically [had a few slips… ooops] because I’m… Read more »
Despite the fact that I had read Ayn Rand at an early age, and had various “lite” red pill awakenings as early as my late teens, early 20s, it wasn’t until my mid-30s that I started actively Ghosting certain (albeit few) people and political causes (gave up being a democrat for example), because I realized a couple things: 1) I was wasting my time investing anything in someone or some purpose that either not take my advice, listen to guys like me, or do stupid things; 2) Our entire relationship, and this includes personal friends, or women, or how liberals… Read more »
@Culum “But the KEY learning point this time around (same thing that happened to quixotic really) is that EVEN IF my logistics are good, I shouldn’t be getting her too horny and pumped up BEFORE I have her in isolation – because then any attempt to extract her home will be viewed as “going to have sex” and trigger her ASD, which would have been far milder if I hadn’t turned her on so much.” “but it’s not a high percentage move” This. Anything will theoretically work if you try it enough, that’s how human beings have gotten to where… Read more »
Yareally blowing it up as usual… despite this kind of awkward sentence:
“Like the Power Rangers all teleporting in from around Angel Grove to combine together and form Megazord.”
Huh???? LOL
Culum… Funny story. “I couldn’t think of anything quickly enough” Here you go. No charge you: Hey… That’s it!. memorize it. Hey.. Hey… Hey… Hey… Hey… Hey.. Hey… If you think you can remember it, throw in a “what’s up” head nod. Practice that for an hour… If you REALLY are a bright spark… practice this, Hold hand up and motion closer, or if close enough extend hand for a shake… But don’t bight off to much tonight… LOL. HEY! +++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Come to think of it..even last night at the diner where I ate while stewing over being ditched for… Read more »
Culum… one last thing… I find daygame especially ripe for just going into a story… It’s commanding. And heavy laser eye…
You:Hey.
Her: Hi.
You: Nice to meet you (shake hand, laser eye)
Her: Blah blah…
You:(getting close or motion her to sit with you) So check this out… the other day [DHV story]
That’s it. Just launch into it. Check this out…
@Sentient
You guys FR’s and stuff are fascinating.
I’m thinking as hard as I can, but I don’t have any ” ghosting ” stories. I’ve only really ghosted chicks.
So in the meantime I’m devouring fr’s and what-not.
My post here is actually kind of about the article. I’m no fan of social media. I dabble with facebook, grumbling about the habit the whole time. Check in 5 minutes a day. No twitter or IG or anything else. I’ve contemplated quitting FB a thousand times, of course. But it’s actually a very effective tool for ghosting. A few ‘likes’ and a few ten word notes a year and basically a sacred, old friend (who you have no urge to be around anymore due to reasons listed in the article), can be kept in a decently respectable place. You’re… Read more »
About the fixated social hierarchies that people are comfortable with….Man, what a great point. Just when I think the manosphere is stuck on repeat a little too much (RT excepted) I get a great new point to think about and add to my life, also use in my life. Thank you for that. One half of my family has me in that exact role. I am still the laughably awkward, frequently transplanted 15 year old to them nearly 3 decades later. The fact that I’ve rebuilt myself only adds to their amusement, I’m sure. It’s extraordinary how stagnant most people… Read more »
@Culum/YaReally My recent text game with girl I’m inviting out to a Latin night…lots of banter, but i’ll pick it up on the relevant points outside logistics Me: If you promise not to step on my feet, I’ll show you a few steps (ping text…keeping it light and fun….there’s also a qualification here…non-needy) Her: If I step on your feet it’s only because your feet were in the wrong place. Her: Hashtag women’s always right (double-barreled shit test) Me: such a rebel (passed) Her: International women’s day (shit test) Me: Man leads woman follows…just like in life (passed) Her: Women… Read more »
http://insider.foxnews.com/sites/insider.foxnews.com/files/styles/780/public/powers_insider_bio.jpg?itok=HMsKTdzt
Powers looking very bangable… that pleasant 7.5… even at 48?
Naturals all use their own routines too, you’ll hear a Natural tell you the same fucking DHV story 50000x as if he’s telling it to you for the first time each time lol
I resemble that remark! YaReally, thanks for linking JM. It was awesome! I saw a lot of myself in there, the good, the bad, and the fugly.
@Jeremy There were a number of reasons for it, but the short of it is my entire family was subtly dominated and abused by the women in it. It’s accurate to say the women had no conscious knowledge of their abusive behavior. Yeah. A bunch of this. I’m about to have to tell my mother to stop asking me to come visit. I’ve already heard her repeatedly “But I’ve changed! I’ve changed so much!” Yet she subconsciously always falls back in to old patterns of behavior around me wherein she starts the emotional abuse of trying to assert complete control… Read more »
@ Sentient Sun Wukong “ABG. Always Be Gaming.” YES!!!! There is no difference… just BE game. I think of it as “Always bring the party with you.” I went to a pizza meetup and was telling my “Bad fun” stories to the three people sitting with me and they were rapt. Another time I was at my wife’s dentist and told my Boy Scout “Bad fun” story to a Scout leader and he had one of his own about one of his scouts. We had a little party right there at the dentist. The receptionist listened in. I tell my… Read more »
>“ABG. Always Be Gaming.”
Nowhere is this more true than within monogamous relationships.
Interesting realization. When I ego gratify on IOIs I destroy the chance of amping up the attraction by going direct to comfort. It’s like I’m just so goddamned happy that they are interested that I gush and “dhv” – ooops, not. I don’t get them qualifying – this is what I noticed. Also makes me realize that flirting with girls working at the cafe etc. has very limited upside. Since I’m not working off strong externals, I have to game to spike the attraction and simply can’t do that while they are working. And since I can’t get the temp… Read more »
@stuffinbox
Thanks for sharing about your son. I know how much seeing him that way must hurt. Honestly, one of the biggest motivators for me is thinking that my example so far might trap my son in a beta life if I don’t take care of my shit.
And to everyone else trying to save their sons, there are a lot of us reading TRM who appreciate your sharing advice and perspective.
@Yareally Thank you for the notes and refined pointers, I will put into my arsenal. “We need more guys in their 30s picking up <30yo (and <25yo especially) girls to write FRs and compare notes lol” Well sir, I’m your huckleberry. Here are some notes that I hope are helpful to your research efforts. I am like you it seems, doing good for a guy in my 30s but act young cuz im carefree and party a lot. Plate 1 is early 20s 7.5 in college. She is cool with my normal "I have sex with other girls, you only… Read more »
@YaReally and Sentient: The Power Ranger comparison is brilliant, because the Power Ranger episodes are very consistent. So when Culum gets to that part of the “episode” where he destroyed the girl’s smaller shit tests and they get supersized, he can just assemble the Mega Zord and go save the day.
Genius.
Also, the Red (Pill) Ranger is the leader.
@ Beta Throwaway I appreciate your comment,and no wucking fories about being a bad example. Even if you completely submit to the women,or hold total frame and lay down the rules as an alpha,you will be shit on or held up as a bad example. And unless you raise your son in a bubble he will be totaly steeped in feminism even before puberty. Over protection lowers ones chances of survival. The saving grace is that any male in todays society with even 1/2 of 1 nut dropped can sense that something is awry. The key is finding some common… Read more »
FR of when I was in the different city. I check-in to the hotel before going out for dinner. The girl checks-me in and mentions my nationality (from my ID). She has a fairly strong accent which I’m 95% sure is Spanish. I tell her “you are certainly not from here” She goes “do I look like I’m from here” (she also looked a bit Southern Europe, probably referring to that). I tell her “that isn’t even it, is your accent” and before I could cold read her she says she is Spanish and that people don’t usually guess from… Read more »
Dumping family when you are an adult, particularly controlling moms and the beta fathers that come with them, is most liberating.
Never understood people that stayed with their family of origin (FOO, as Stefan Molyneux calls it) when it did nothing but harm them emotionally, financially, etc
@enrique “Blood is thicker than water” or some variation is drilled in to many a mind, particularly in religious households. On top of that, parents and family are the ones that teach you what love is. If they define it to be abuse you simply don’t know any better, and on top of that the world will all too happily reinforce that notion repeatedly. I can say this was most certainly the case with me. It took a very long time to get a clue and give them distance since my entire world view had been colored wrong from day… Read more »
@IAS In regards to your field report: You are too focused like a laser on the outcome of your interactions. Notice how it was easy to interact with the desk clerk and the bartender because you actually just reached out and interacted. Try to hit baseball game singles. Don’t try to hit a home run each time. You need to work on getting talent at socializing which we spoke of earlier as a soft skill. Like when the Brazilian soccer players got 600 touches of the ball in a small arena, rather than 60 on a big field. Just interact.… Read more »
Scribblerg “Also makes me realize that flirting with girls working at the cafe etc. has very limited upside. Since I’m not working off strong externals, I have to game to spike the attraction and simply can’t do that while they are working. And since I can’t get the temp up, I can’t even number close. “ Not true at all… you can get a number in under 5 minutes. You just need to focus and run better game. Don’t get lost in your feelings, continue to focus on the next step, what’s around the corner, be aware of what’s going… Read more »
scribblerg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVsGgIq9dTA
This is you in 3 months…
Something interesting.
https://medium.com/@chase_reeves/miscarriage-from-the-father-s-perspective-7e7d2094b77f?source=email-53373285c4ef-1457538188936-daily_digest§ionName=suggested
I just had a revelation that I’m never not going to be obsessed with this stuff. Even when I am completely in touch with my id and, after I’ve loved women of every personality type and every nationality I will never stop. Fuck… life is beautiful.
Sadly it may(probably will) end up destroying my marriage.
Sribblerg… damn.. you bringing up the coffee shops… LOL Here check out Chris from Good Looking Loser. I’ve used a lot of his concepts in field. He has zero verbal game, all about subcomms and action and very fast… Culum this is an example of how direct cold approach works in your favor and why I was suggesting on your last online ASD girl to move faster vs more comfort. 6 minutes from meet to make out to pull… Watch! (and check out his other stuff, Chris seems to get no love from the community? IDK why?) And Scribblerg here… Read more »
Thank you so much for this Rollo. An important part of the Red Pill is squeezing out negative people in your life. The first person I ghosted after taking the Red Pill was my mother. The Ho’ lied to me my entire life. She treated- and treats- my dad with complete, seething contempt and disrespected me routinely. One day I stood up to her- the first time a man has ever done that- and told her I did not want to hear her complain about my father any more. She threw a hissy fit. I walked out of my childhood… Read more »
Culum, I’m confused. What exactly do you thinnk you are going to get from YaReally that you couldn’t get from watching YouTube videos of your fellow countrymen Tom Torerro and Nick Krauser? Not to mention the army of London Day Gamers that they have inspired. Your “interaction” with the “scorching hot” 8 (jesus what’s a 10 then?) was weak and basically pathetic. Now am I saying this to insult you? No. I’m saying this because you have hundreds of infields out there that show successful daygame interactions with hot women. Its not a mystery what they look like. You should… Read more »
and a post script – saw the girl that was the subject of this story the other day. She was getting into her car with her coffee, I was walking by. I waved hello, she said hello.. got into her car… I kept walking. This kind of thing happens all the time in these kind of social setting interactions… you CAN drive mad attraction and move quickly (see video) BUT if you you don’t and you see them again, the moment is gone. Worse than starting over, you start from behind because a) you chumped out and did not do… Read more »
@Sun Wukong …I’ve already heard her repeatedly “But I’ve changed! I’ve changed so much!” Yet she subconsciously always falls back in to old patterns of behavior around me wherein she starts the emotional abuse of trying to assert complete control over my behavior. This brings to mind one of Rollo’s paragraphs from a while ago wherein he likens shit-testing to boob-gazing, as in most women can’t help it just as most men can’t help it. It’s part of the firmware and under certain circumstances it becomes such a well-trodden behavioral path that nothing short of severe trauma can shake it.… Read more »
gb_hill “All the good Daygamers say the same damn thing. It takes THOUSANDS of approaches to get good at this. Krauser didn’t get laid his entire first year! If you haven’t done at least 1000 approaches following some proven daygame model then NOTHING YaReally will say can help you.” Nahhh this is total bullshit. It may take someone 1,000 reps to get good, but shit I’ve gotten pretty good in less than a dozen (yes I’ve done more than that but was already getting good results ate that low rate). Hotel bar game was just shooting fish in a barrel,… Read more »
Damn…. The Rational Pua/FR. Lol.
“He’s past that age Morpheus says the mind should never be freed and I’ve got to be OK with that.” A cool aspect about my ongoing awakening.. I’ve always been a healthy skeptic, if not a cynic at times. But I pride myself (and thank some former teachers/professors) on being a true critical thinker. Critical thinkers are taught how to think critically, it’s a learned skill. I’m an extremist, and propaganda-based brainwashing (consciousness-raising, PC, etc) makes me see red (I see a lot of red nowadays). Let’s face it, there are many matrices from which to unplug for the common… Read more »
Redpill and enviorment
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cynefin_Framework
University’s and american biased
https://soundcloud.com/samharrisorg/evolving-minds-a-conversation-with-jonathan-haidt
@Jeremy So with this said, yes we should always be gaming… But we should *never* need to game our parents, at least imho Would I apply exactly what you’re saying to my own children if I had any? Absolutely. Would I force their mother to do the same? Absolutely. However, this is a case of ought versus is. She should not act as she does, but that doesn’t stop her from doing so. My only choice is how I handle it, and I choose to control the Frame and dominate the relationship. It’s a shitty choice to be forced in… Read more »
no doubt this will trigger a 4,000 word rant from Ya
INCOMING!
@Sentient – Great stuff, thanks so much! Busy day going here so I’m going to have to revisit tonight and dive into the vids. I guess I’ve hit the conscious incompetent stage, and given Ya’s observations about naturals and their particular challenges (when he describes natural shit it’s a 100% fit, it’s fucking eerie sometimes how spot on your guys are but now I’m starting to understand why, you guys have the subtleties nailed). In the cafe the other day instead of intuitively going for the feelz, I tried to think through what i was doing and also observe myself… Read more »
@Sentient The day of the FR is over. Its unnecessary. Callum doesn’t need to have his field reports analyzed. He needs to compare what he did with in-fields of guys who are getting laid. That’s it. If you have high enough IQ and no personality defects, all you need to do is follow a proven model, mass approach (but with quality sets), keep a journal, track progress and then seek consultation from either a pro one on one (live or Skype) or ask targeted questions to a proven gamer *in that sub-type* from a specialty forum (no one on this… Read more »
Here, SDL heaven from Deepak Wayne: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icNmD8-40PI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWRTWB99X4A https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C72clWAt9aM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0338D6QLjGY Now ask yourself, do your sets look like this? If no, then its no surprise that you are not getting laid. It took Deepak years to get good. Better looking normal guys will get results far faster though. But the model is there. Choose one and follow it. FRs are a waste of time. Just keep a journal, accumulate experiences, formulate questions and then consult someone who is good at it. And if you are not a good looking guy or naturally charismatic don’t expect results for a while. They… Read more »
The most painful guy to ghost is yourself. When you are spinning plates it is just not easy to be totally honest with all these women. To get something off the chest… The other day I went to a club with a woman who had travelled quite a distance to meet up and fuk. In the club I spotted a girl I had been with not long ago and she was visibly surprised to see me with this new girl. She did not come anywhere near where we were but kept making quick glances in our direction. I think she… Read more »
@cheupez: On killing the conscience…very true!
Just a quick link back: Vox’s crew had some very good commentary on this post.
http://voxday.blogspot.ca/2016/03/the-price-of-truth.html#comment-form
@Rollo: Noted sensei…
Also, I should add that everyone here who is considering getting good at PUA should understand that the “Manosphere” is NOT the place to get good at game. Roosh, for example, is a shit PUA whose game system is weak. The Manosphere is a good place to get a fundamental bio-centered view of female psychology and female socio-sexual behavior patterns. Which, I should add, is crucial if you are a man living in today’s Leftist Western world. BUT, do NOT learn your PUA from Rollo, Roosh, or even Roissy. Use Roissy (CH) as a source of meta-knowledge on socio-sexuality but… Read more »
@gb_hill Just wanted you to know some asshole is using your username to post stupid comments 😉 If you dont want to read FRs skip them. Until the big man himself Rollo tells us to take it elsewhere or sets up a forum section for FRs, guys are gonna come here for help. Its about time Rational Male had more FRs in my opinion. Most of the convo here is generally very high level abstract concepts that are not easily digestible by noobs. For example, I used to skip comments by scribbleg, now he is waking up and less bitter… Read more »
Lol @ gb_hill In DayGame, you have to know your escalation logistics (where you can escalate without triggering ASD), sexualize, escalate aggressively, create and ramp up sexual tension (this is key!), act entitled, etc. Apt. complex swimming pools are a great place to look for a hookup, especially when they are nearly empty. Play rough pool games, sexualize, dunk, create sexual tension, tell her, “Meet you underwater.” Kiss underwater, etc. Escalate quickly and pull to a nearby apt. Be careful to hold the mood and maintain the sexual tension and intimacy. Get her to qualify that you are not just… Read more »
@cheupez ” I think all these women imagine we are in a relationship even when I have made it clear to them I am not up for a relationship. I think nice girl feels that she is not good enough so that is why I “ditched” her. Some say they are happy to do FWB but I can tell from some of their reactions that they are hurting. We say; “fuk that”. But still… Killing the conscience is not very easy.” Ahh, the fwb trap. It’s been my experience that women will accept the fwb scenario at first, and then… Read more »
@ cheupez I’d try to bring the party to the other girl and tone down girls’ competition. Qualify each girl to the other as you introduce them. Build each girl’s value to the other. Group hugs, group pics, suggest meeting up later for drinks. Don’t even hint at a threesome. It’s just hanging out because the girls are both so cool and fun and high quality. Maybe a threesome will happen, but there has to be a lot of rapport between the girls. I can imagine lots of potential problems in executing threesomes. I imagine that it takes practice to… Read more »
@GB, You didn’t read the book How to Win Friends & Influence People did you? You come right out of the gate and insulted respected commenters, AND THE HOST. Then you linked to what you say are videos showing better game, but they are of an Indian guy with adequate English skills doing the standard lines we’ve seen a thousands times by other guys you put down, and the girls sound like chipmunks. The overall quality of the videos is sub-par too. No matter how good your information may be, you squandered your opportunity to win over new people. You… Read more »
@Blaximus What you will have to do though is just accept that some chicks are going to butthurt. It’s part of the game when you’re sexing more than one broad at the same time. Actually, isn’t this situation where women see you out with other women, isn’t that a NECESSARY feedback that women should be getting? If they’re not getting that feedback, they are free to assume that all men they know are available to them without effort. When women en masse SEE men they “date” out with other women, and enjoying themselves, this is frankly a necessary feedback to… Read more »
@ Jeremy
” When women en masse SEE men they “date” out with other women, and enjoying themselves, this is frankly a necessary feedback to those women that they need to try harder to keep your attention if they actually want you.”
Absolutely.
I understand his bad feelings, but a change of perception is required to alleviate this.
Single guys need to have multiple women in their lives, not sexually in every instance, but because women want men that other women want.
If your actually banging them all, even that much better.
gb_hill I’ve no need to try and change your mind. It’s clear you are at a minimum shilling for paid systems… IDC… But you don’t know much either. “Daygame” is a misnomer to begin with. It’s cold approach… daytime is merely a subset, with slightly different techniques… But to your call out squad in London… I hope they keep Yad stopping and mesma’ing to their hearts content… fumbling through THOUSANDS of lousy sets (by your own account – LOL), wasting a year to NOT get laid… because they refuse to learn solid basics of evo-bio/psych and Mystery Group theory. EVERYTHING… Read more »
FRs WILL help you, period. whether it’s in learning how to recall your interactions in greater detail which will heighten your perception of them in real time or in getting ideas for what to do when certain things happen. if you are a man who wants to get women who are more attractive than the women you are currently getting, you will have to get better at interacting with women (game). good-looking guys mostly end up with chicks who are not on their looks level. the inability to interact with women is widespread. and it all comes down to fear.… Read more »
@gb_hill, I guess you haven’t checked out either of these then?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=573&v=mpYWQRpxzQs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1t64ihak6Y
I’ve been real good friends with both of them for almost 6 years now, (in fact Tom is one of the few men in the ‘sphere to have my cell number) both acknowledge my writing as instrumental in their own Game endeavors.
@gb_hill @Culum “YaReally is going to link to RSD guys. Forget them. You’re British! Emulate someone who possesses the same emotional disposition as you. Forget American idiot game.” “I don’t know what you’re looking for posting here.” “Posting field reports here is a waste of your time.” Culum (and everyone) should definitely learn from any source they can. Check out material and instruction from everyone and see what resonates with you. But I would be pretty wary of anyone who tells you to actively avoid resources and people that may be able to help you. You’ll never see Tyler telling… Read more »
@ Rollo, I’m all like ” meh ” on the vids, but I assume they are serving a purpose. I’m a Ya fan because he challenged me a while ago to open my mind, and I did learn a few things. That’s always very cool. But man, I was thinking…..(smelled smoke too ) What if you would have had a camera following you around during some of the more exciting times in life? I ponder this often when I watch some of the vids posted here. It’s a different time now. Much different. It’s actually kind of sad to me.… Read more »
in a world with finite resources, where a man’s time is also finite…. an aging, fattening, self-proclaimed pua with no assets, no car and no fame stumbles upon a method to seduce women that is so far ahead of the curve that it will be studied for is prescient genius one hundred years in the future. this man would: A. live in a shitty apartment, eat fast food, spend thousands of his precious hours on earth posting on low traffic websites on the internet for free, fuck bitchy girls that also fuck other guys, call said girls to get rides… Read more »
Fleezer
A. You have a crush on Ya…! Cute.
B. “The girls out at night looking for cock”… This is why I say a solid evo/bio/psych background is important as a base to build game upon. Because all of game can be fit BACK into this framework… So you know the whole hypergamy and solipsism thing right. grrrrrrr. Fucking bitchez! Right?
Well that tells ya ALL women are always seeking new cock. They just don’t know it.
Game is the great translator.
Now fuck along… Go try and then comment.
I must be really growing cuz all I’m doing is looking for what I can learn from @gb…And I can see how unproductive the negativity and anger and dissing are. Who the fuck am I? @Quixo – Thx for noting the shift. Dude, I was just so angry and cynical and hopeless but fighting my up through it regardless. Not an excuse, just an explanation. I felt embattled in my life. The truth is that I came within a cunt hair of killing myself 100 times after the shit went down with my daughter. I was so lost. It was… Read more »
@Blax
DAMN that 4 link coilover rear suspension really hooks up sweeet.!
Time for some new tires I am betting.
Haters all up in here today.
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/811/645/c14.gif
@Sun Wukong
What are they saying?” the manosphere would be great if it wasn’t for all the men”?or ? you could be more like me if you just try harder”.
Old Stuff says ” I’m fuckin this cat you just hold its tail for me.”
@ Stuff-
” ” I’m fuckin this cat you just hold its tail for me.”
Aw shit. My uncles used to say this all the time. You’re the only other person I’ve ever heard use that phrase. LOL.
I said it a few times at work and just got blank stares.
@Blaximus
That is an old saying best used on the most expert of advisors and efficiency experts.We were drilling rock and this expert was watching so I offered up some of those foam ear plugs,the guy said thanks and tried to eat them.
@ Rollo
…but where are the fr’s?
I believe that a loser is someone that stops trying and a winner never will stop trying.I read those vox comments and it is appears that most didn’t read the whole post.Still some pretty good comments on cutting ties that bind.
Reblogged this on reallyjustdoodles and commented:
I made a pretty brutal decision to ghost a lot of ‘friends’ from my past. Bravo! Beautiful!
@gb_hill British?? Oh, because I use British spelling? That’s a legacy of early education in a British international school. I need to be good with coastal American girls, not British ones (not that they are different – I don’t see how, even if I was British, that YaReally’s advice wouldn’t be applicable to British girls). Thank you for your comments – I appreciate them. I don’t agree with all of it but I appreciate it and I’ll check out the videos you posted and learn what I can from it. I think all of us here agree that it’s all… Read more »
@ stuff ” I believe that a loser is someone that stops trying and a winner never will stop trying.I read those vox comments and it is appears that most didn’t read the whole post.Still some pretty good comments on cutting ties that bind.” Agreed. The only way you can lose is to give up and admit defeat. At a point in life, I’d lost a lot of what I had, and came a cunt’s hair close to bankruptcy, but I never stopped fighting. I was able to recover everything that was initially lost, and then some. Lesson well learned.… Read more »
I said ” A man is capable of many great things by virtue of maleness. The converse is just as true ..”
Should be “A man is capable of many great things by virtue of maleness. The inverse is just as true ”
…damn. Mult-tasking skills declining
gb_hill
“Wish in one hand, shit in the other. See which one gets filled first.”
(Translation:When a person wants the impossible.)
I find it painful enough to watch any video, let alone that Tom Torerro video in which he obtained the privilege of texting a HB5 Polish chick with a belabored British day game routine. That video sucked. No offense to TT, but wtf?
Heh Blaximus
How bout the saying “This, too, shall pass.”
Should hopefully chasten the guy you ghosted.
Should console a guy in the depths of an affliction.
@Sentient: “running the MAP” uh oh another AK purple piller… How long you been running?
Doesn’t sound like you ever issued any ultimatum, that WAS a core part of the Male Action Plan… it’s gone now right in the Mindful Attraction Plan.”
–On Married Red Pill we have TWO ultimatums- the soft ultimatum (Dread Level 9) and the hard ultimatum- fuck me or fuck you (Dread Level 10- aka purple Athol’s MAP Level 5.
@ SJF Hey man. You know, everything shall pass. Incidentally the guy I ghosted suffered an affliction. Cocaine and alcohol, breakfast of hard driven Wall Street champions. Not to mention the 5,000 dollar hook…um…” escorts “. About vids. I admit I will watch hours and hours of guys building outrageous engines and cars. I can’t believe my good fortune at finding so much information on the interwebz. My guilty pleasure. But watching guys try to pick up broads is painful. Always. I will watch if Ya posts them as an example of something he’s discussing, but if not for Ya,… Read more »
YaReally – I finally saw the dancing guy clip from the last post and your breakdown. I need to rush off for my online date now but I’m really glad I concentrated and watched it. That was just awesome. One of my favourite posts for sure. So much there in so little time, so much to learn and notice. And here I am thinking I’m learning to read subcomms by noticing some chick licking her lips or pupils dilating. There’s an entire world out there and it’s fascinating. One thing I have noticed though is that I need practice. Like… Read more »
“Fleezer said some mean spirited stuff above, but a lot of it is laugh-inducing truth in many ways.” Lol. I see it the same way. “But now it’s just another show You leave ’em laughing when you go And if you care, don’t let them know Don’t give yourself away But now old friends are acting strange They shake their heads, they say I’ve changed Well something’s lost, but something’s gained In living every day” Joni Mitchell (Lol, look how she turned out) Life can be strange. But I never saw it as such. Seems we’re kindred spirits Blaximus. I… Read more »
Interesting video on how women admire strength and how women will jump to your defense if they respect you.
@ SJF Kindred indeed. It’s funny, I never used the term ” ghost ” in the exact fashion as we are in the OP. In my younger days, right around the time the movie Ghost came out, a bunch of us started saying ” I’m Ghost ” before leaving. That slowly morphed into ” I’m Swayze “. Your bro-in-law story reminds me of yet another person I ghosted. For the same kind of vibe that also went beyond the pail. But what I’m learning here, is that evidently when I ghost someone, they get pushed so far down into my… Read more »
Hello, This red pill shit, has me fu#$ed up. When i go out now i see the world,male-female interactions in a new way and although i can get women, i have alot of difficulty getting attractive ones, Tonight i went out solo ( as i do sometimes, i live in europe ) I opened an 8 set of brazillans and danced with them etc but i still was not foward enough or really didnt give a damn about the outcome, and nothing materalised , f#$k this i need success with hot women with a red pill awarness , big time,… Read more »
Hello, This red pill shit, has me fu#$ed up. When i go out now i see the world,male-female interactions in a new way and although i can get women, i have alot of difficulty getting attractive ones, Tonight i went out solo ( as i do sometimes, i live in europe ) I opened an 8 set of brazillans and danced with them etc but i still was not foward enough or really didnt give a damn about the outcome, and nothing materalised , f#$k this i need success with hot women with a red pill awarness , big time,… Read more »
I realized that I’ve been ghosted by some dancers for going clubbing without my wife. My clubbing is like smoke in their Blue Pill eyes, so I’m not surprised that they ghosted me. I’m cool with that, actually. One woman has ghosted me, but her very popular husband continually greets me with a beaming smile and spends a few minutes chatting me up. She’ll pass me and ignore me (I ignore her too, though I’ll smile at her because I find her nonsense amusing) and he’ll stop and chat with me, then she’ll rejoin him and greet me and I’ll… Read more »
@Culum Struan BTW, one thing I noticed right off in the clip (even before I read your breakdown, but you haven’t mentioned this) is that for some reason ALL the early followers are men. The chicks only start to join in when a critical mass of men is reached (except for early in the video one girl talks to the leader briefly) and then of course the rest of the guys start chasing the girls and joins. Is that even relevant? Why wouldn’t dancer no. 3 or 4 be a girl? Or is it just a coincidence? Did you watch… Read more »
@Blaximus “Interesting. I don’t give this a lot of thought. Maybe I’m broken and don’t realize? I feel so strongly about other people’s situations not affecting me that maybe it’s rendered me blind to an extent. I don’t think I know if the people around me are happy or unhappy. I mean, I know my family is good, but in general I seem to have a huge blindspot.” It is very simple Blaximus. You were sent a plethora of memos by your cultural man set when you were growing up. You were constantly indoctrinated by all the masculine men around… Read more »
Hello Rolo Tomassi. I watched this music video and I wanted to hear your thoughts about it. I wanted to email you directly but I couldn’t find a way to do it. Apologies if this is completely out of topic, but I have read some of your stuff and sometimes I run across things that I wonder what you would think about them. Here is one of those things. https://www.facebook.com/refinery29/videos/10154034372222922/?fref=nf
@Miguel That video is a waste of time. The long 3:54 story short of it is the FI story of put woman on a pedestal because they have a vagina and they will hide it from you. It’s hidden for the imperative. And then some. And then shame you for “You males have it all wrong if you won’t pedestalize me and get me off via the clit.” Nice try. It is not very thought provoking. But feel free to ponder red pill praxeology. And wonder why your eyes hurt because you have never used them. Sorry for my bitterness.… Read more »
@Blax Thanks. You are right. I think when I used to fuck more women than I am doing now and I cared less. There were times I could do more than one in a day. I don’t think I would do that now. It appears as if I am just becoming more conscious that it hurt the women even then, and it makes me a bit uncomfortable…even blue at times. @Gamer Great suggestion. Actually I have no problems bringing some of the girls together. I do it sometimes. But some particular ones are not easy to put into “the mix”… Read more »
@scray “but if you’re still relying only on cold approach and sarging to get laid 2, 3, 4 years into it….idk….that strikes me as strange. like in that time you can build your own pussy harem.” Ya ultimately social circle game is the most efficient way of getting laid (and often leads to consistently hotter girls overall). Buuuut there are benefits to cold approach (like I like the anonymity and that it’s all on my terms…I’ve had big social circles before and it can be time consuming to maintain them and deal with drama etc, VS now where I’m keeping… Read more »
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Hi All, First post and I’d like to start by thanking all the regular commentators here (and of course Rollo!) for the knowledge and time they contribute for men. It’s invaluable. I am in a slightly unique situation at the moment and would like your advice. I currently live on a small island with a complete derth of younger attractive women. I moved here a couple of years ago for the job oppurtunity and will be moving back to a big city come September. I’ve always done well with women (60+ notch count aged 25), but this place is whole… Read more »
On the article, I’ve never found the need to ghost people consciously. Bring up red pill concepts with those friends you know will be receptive, and steer the conversation away from it with those that aren’t.
As long as they are still fun people who you enjoy hanging out with and bring value to your life. Those who become negative I’ll just naturally see less of, eg wont think to go for coffee’s/dinners/invite to events.