A League of Your Own

“Rollo, I’m newly Game-aware, red pill guy and I’ve been meeting girls with more and more success since my conversion, but I can’t help the feeling that the really hot girls I want to get with a so out of my league. 

Any suggestions?”

Iron Rule of Tomassi #8

Always let a woman figure out why she wont ƒuck you, never do it for her.

An integral part of maintaining the feminine imperative as the societal imperative involves keeping women as the primary sexual selectors. As I’ve detailed in many prior comments and posts, this means that a woman’s sexual strategy necessitates that she be in as optimized a condition as her capacity (attractiveness) allows for her to choose from the best males available to satisfy that strategy.

This is really the definition of hypergamy, and on an individual level, I believe only the most plugged in of men don’t realize this to some degree of consciousness. However, what I think escapes a lot of men is the complex nature of hypergamy on a social scale. For hypergamy to sustain it’s dominant position as the default sexual strategy for our society, it’s necessary for the feminine imperative to maintain existing, foster new, and normalize complex social conventions that serve it. The scope of these conventions range from the individualized psychological conditioning early in life to the grand scale of social engineering (e.g. Feminism, Religion, Government, etc.)

One of these social conventions that operates in the spectrum of the personal to the societal is the idea of ‘leagues’. The fundamental idea that Social Matching Theory details is that “All things being equal, an individual will tend to be attracted to, and are more likely to pair off with, another individual who is of the same or like degree of physical attractiveness as themselves.” In a vacuum, this is the germ of the idea behind the ‘leagues’. The social convention of ‘leagues’ mentality is where ‘all things are not equal’ and used to support the feminine imperative, while conveniently still supporting the principle of social matching theory.

The latent function of ‘leagues’ is to encourage men to filter themselves out for women’s intimate approval.

As social conditions progress and become more complex, so too do men’s ability to mimic the personal attributes of providership and security. In other words, lesser men become intelligent enough to circumvent women’s existing sexual filters and thus thwart their sexual strategy. These ever increasing complexities made it hard to identify optimally suitable men from the pretenders, and women, being the primary sexual selector, needed various social constructs to sort the wheat from the chaff. With each subsequent generation they couldn’t be expected to do all of this detective work on their own so the feminine imperative enlisted the aid of the men themselves and created self-perpetuated, self-internalized social doctrines for men to comply with in order to exist in a feminine defined society.

The concept of leagues is just one of these doctrines. Your self-doubt about your worthiness of a woman’s intimacy stems from a preconditioned idea that ‘you’re out of her league’. The booster club optimist idea that “if you think you can’t, you’re right” is true, and boundless enthusiasm may overcome some obstacles, but to address the source of the disease it’s more important to ask yourself why you’ve been taught to think you can’t. A lot of approach anxiety comes from your own self-impression – Am I smooth, hot, affluent, funny, confident, interesting, decisive, well-dressed enough to earn an HB 9’s attention? How about an HB 6? Our great danger is not that we aim too high and fail, but that we aim too low and succeed.

I’m not debating the legitimacy of the evaluative standards of the sexual market place – it’s a harsh, often cruel reality – what I’m really trying to do is open your eyes as to why you believe you’re only meritorious of an HB 7. Looks count for a lot, as does Game, affluence, personality, talent, etc. but is your self-estimation accurate, or are you a voluntary participant in your own self-devaluation in the SMP courtesy of the leagues mentality the feminine imperative would have you believe?

The Economy of the League

As I stated above the purpose of fomenting a stratified League mentality in men serves to autonomously filter the lesser from the greater men for women to chose from, however, it also functions to increase the valuation of the feminine as a commodity. Like any great economic entity, the feminine imperative lives and dies by its ability to inflate its value in the marketplace. Essentially the feminine imperative is a marketeer. One of the sad ironies of this, and the last, century is that the feminine imperative has attempted to base women’s SMP valuation on a collective importance to the detriment of the individual woman’s SMV. For men this is inverted; a man’s sexual valuation is primarily individualized, while men as a collective gender are devaluated in the SMP.

What I mean by this is that, as a collective entity women’s sexuality cannot afford to be perceived as anything less than the more valued prize. If all vaginas are considered the gold standard then men’s sexual default value will always be lower. By this definition men, on whole, are out of women’s league.

For further consideration lets assume that average men, most being varying degrees of beta, are blessed with the ‘miraculous gift’ of an average woman’s sexual attentions. The power dynamic is already pre-established to defer to a feminine frame, so it’s small wonder that men would be prone to ONEitis even with an objectively average woman. This is the intent of the League schema – to unobjectively predispose men to commitment with women who under objective condition couldn’t enjoy the same selectivity. Roissy once postulated that for a healthy relationship to exist the Man must be recognized by the woman to be 1-2 points above her own SMV. This is a pretty tall order considering the feminine imperative’s emphasis on women’s sexuality being the more valued as default. And this is  to say nothing of contemporary women’s overinflated self-evaluations due to the rise of social media.

Gaming the League

All of the above isn’t to say that there isn’t a kernel of truth to the notion of leagues; it’s just not the “truth” men have been led to believe. For as much as the feminine imperative would have men subscribe to Leagues, it equally seeks to exempt women from the same League hierarchy by evaluating women as a whole. Needless to say men have their own rating systems – most popularly the ubiquitously physical HB 10 scale. I should add that it’s a foregone conclusion that any rating system men would establish for women in the feminine reality would necessarily need to be ridiculed, shamed and demonized, but you knew that already.

Irrational self-confidence is a good start to circumventing and unlearning the concept of Leagues; unlearning this conditioning being the operative goal. The Game-aware Man can actually use the concept of Leagues to his advantage with enough guile. When you approach a woman without regard to a League mentality or even a Zen-like obliviousness to it, you send the message that there’s more to you than a feminine reality can control. It’s exactly this disregard for the influence of the feminine imperative that makes the Alpha attractive; he’s unaware of, or indifferent to the rules his conditioning should’ve taught him earlier. Just in the attempt of Gaming a woman obviously “out of your league” you flip the feminine script by planting a seed of doubt (and prompting imagination) about your perceived value. Doubt is a very powerful tool, in fact the very concept of Leagues is founded upon men’s self-doubt. Turn that tool to your advantage by disregarding women’s social convention of Leagues.

27 responses to “A League of Your Own

  • Danger

    Wow, awesome post. I couldn’t agree more.

  • Antonio Cienfuegos

    once i wanted to hit on a 25 year old girl -i was 20-. some other girl told me, “stop with that bullshit. she’s wait out of your league”. i decided to fuck that noise and go for it anyway – what could go wrong?

    well, i got the 25 yo, and we spent six months together. she was a pretty good looking girl, 5 years my senior. she was spanish, too, and over there it’s frowned upon whenever a girl gets with a guy who’s younger than her. and i still got her, because i was on an “irrational self-confidence” streak.

    this post made me think of that.

  • (R)evoluzione

    Great post! Moar please. Specifically on “flipping the script” on the superhotties. Technique, tactics & stragegies would be massively appreciated. Or even just links pointing us to some specifics.

  • Good Luck Chuck

    As a man you have to get over the idea that looks are of primary importance to your SMV. If that’s all you have to offer as a man then, yea, if you’re a 6 don’t be expecting to get much better than a 7. Thankfully for us men our value is determined by many other factors, most of which can be easily ‘accentuated’ to maximize their effect, at least in the short term.

    What men need to understand is that a high value man has infinitely higher SMV than 100 of the hottest 19yr old women in the world. Even a man whose value is only above a little above average has the value to raise his true SMV enough to compensate for a point or two on the looks scale.

  • eric

    The League, like any business monopoly or trade union, produces a shoddy product, with lousy customer service and long wait times in between service. And they hate pirating that circumvents their business model and resist any new foreign upstarts that offer better benefits or terms of service.

  • A.B. Dada


    I’m certainly a 5 in looks, maybe a 6 on my better days, but I consistently land and am even approached by women 10-15 years younger than me who are 7 and 8s. Carry yourself with confidence, use your eyes as a weapon, and your looks are not as important as everything else.

    The 3 areas an average to ugly man can make better looks-wise are: your overall weight, your musculature, and your sense of style.

  • Snoeperd

    Hello Mr. Tomassi. I’ve been a regular reader of your blog for quite a while and I’ve read each entry with interest. Keep up the good work. I wondered if you had any advice for a young guy (25) who has recently taken the blue pill and has now trouble adjusting to the actual reality I find myself in.
    I finished a master’s in Economics and have been doing nothing for the past years besides hanging out in my room, going out and playing poker with friends. The problem is that I can’t get myself to be encouraged/motivated about anything, even about fucking/having a relationship, even though I’m pretty confident I could get a girl pretty quickly if I wished to do so. I just dont see the point. Do you have any advice about the “2nd blue pill” a guy can take? I remember you writing a post about it but i hoped you could expand up it.


  • "M"

    ^^^ This, and how you hold yourself. Beauty is not only in the eye of the beholder, but also in the bearing of the beheld. Be the predator, not the prey.

  • T & A Man

    I have to ask, are all your ‘Iron Rules’ defined?

    If so, is there any chance you’d be willing to create a page and list them all on a single page and linking it instead of drip feeding them when appropriate content allows it to be exposed?

  • lucien

    The comments in this article reinforce the women are a grand mystery meme. Post roissy and evo-biology women are not a mystery to me, in fact I can now predict womens actions and reactions with borderline omnipotent accuracy. It’s sad that we live in a world where this whole women are a mystery bs is still placed as some grand maxim.


  • Snoeperd

    lol that surely is a retarded article on the huffington post. Wonder if he was joking or not

  • Snoeperd

    Even worse is that he takes this as some banner of pride…

  • Rollo Tomassi

    Uh,..maybe you could simply click on the Iron Rules link on the categories side bar?

    Honestly, it’s intentional. Even at SoSuave I’ve never listed them all in a single thread because I think it’s important to digest each rule on its individual merit.

    People have always asked me in PMs, “Hey RT, how come you don’t just do a thread outlining all the Iron Rules of Tomassi?”

    Because I knew if I ever did it would create one gigantic clusterfuck of a thread where everyone would find some issue with this or that rule, or they’d find any and every way to prove that they’re the exception to it individually because it challenges some ego-investment they’re still clinging to. While all at the same time they’ll say I’m making sweeping generalizations and I’d have to run down each and every rule individually to establish my point for having made it in the first place.

    Just for the record, there’s 12 Iron Rules.

  • Rollo Tomassi

    I read that this morning and thought about doing a post on it until I realized I already had:


    Feel free to link it at the HuffPo, but don’t expect the Matrix to embrace it. The short version is that having a super-intelligent guy who can solve the mysteries of the universe admit to the ‘unknowability’ of women only reinforces the myth of the feminine mystique.

  • Snoeperd

    This is the true nature of being intelligent but “stupid”, versus being unintelligent and having streetsmarts. Accepting humans as actors you can influence without letting morality tell you how to act towards them.

    The sad this is that Hawking (if he was really serious) can’t even see the option of using his immense brain to analyze female behavior. Must be the fear of ostracization.

    anyway awesome post at 9gag:

  • Flahute

    I’ll add another one that is easy for anyone to improve to be more attractive – your voice. Keep it low, slow and smooth. Women tell me that I have a sexy voice, and it’s not because it is naturally sexy. I have learned how to use it. The voice I use with women is not the voice I use with my friends or in the boardroom.

    On the issue of the value of a man, I agree that a high value man has more value than a beautiful woman. Men have to get that in their heads. This feminized culture worships youth and beauty too much, and all chumps put beautiful women on pedestals. Is a man’s value worth any more to a 9 than it is to a 6? Of course not, his value is the same. Go for the 9.

    Btw, isn’t it ironic that in a feminized culture, youth and beauty are paramount — exactly the things that men most value, despite women’s attempt to promote personal independence and achievement above all else.

  • itsme

    you mean red pill, not blue.

  • Just Be Yourself «

    […] As I’ve stated in many a prior post, women claim to want honesty from men, but no woman wants full disclosure. In a general sense I advise this because it serves to sustain a Man’s aura of mystery, only to be progressively discovered by women with the appropriate levels of interest and responsiveness to men. However, another reason to remain deliberately ambiguous is to defuse the JBY dynamic that women assume would be a man’s default psychology. Iron Rule of Tomassi #8 […]

  • The 5 Stages of Unplugging «

    […] “Well maybe it does have some good points…but, forget the hot girls, they’re way outta my league. I’ll give it a try if it can help me get around the bases with a plain Jane. Do I have to wear […]

  • Year One «

    […] Iron Rule #8 […]

  • Sunny

    “Our great danger is not that we aim too high and fail, but that we aim too low and succeed.” single best sentence i have ever read. excellent stuff man

  • Art of the Pickup, round #1.5 | My journey to thrive….

    […] would have a chance at, or emailed me first.     Kathy is out of my league, of course I can hear Rollo in my ear saying let her disqualify you, don’t do it yourself.    I haven’t killed […]

  • Possession |

    […] in one way or another. A lot of them would be counted amongst the same Betas who subscribe to the Leagues mentality, only much more pronounced – it’s as if through luck or circumstance, or maybe due to a […]

  • Hats Off to the Bull |

    […] [Game note: If I were to consider another Iron Rule of Tomassi it would be this: Never complain, whine, negotiate, or otherwise attempt to appeal to a woman’s reason by explaining your need for sex, intimacy or “closeness”. Nothing demonstrates lower value and reconfirms a woman’s Beta perception of you than openly complaining, or explaining, about your sexless status. […]

  • kobayashii1681

    Yes…..Be in your own league.
    “No matter how the wind howls, the mountain will not bow to it!”

  • rugby11

    What a wonderful world.

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