Five Minutes of Alpha

Back in September of 2010 the inimitable Roissy (aka Heartiste) graced the manosphere with an insightful post about Katy Perry and an intriguing meltdown she had whilst spotting an old high school crush she had in the audience at one of her shows. My how time changes the landscape of our realities in so few years.

As is Roissy’s gift for prophecy, he accurately summed up the whole affair thusly:

Five minutes of alpha — even worse, five minutes of alpha rejection — can fuck with the heads of even the most desirable women. And continue fucking with them years later. In comparison — if the reports are to be believed — women who divorce beta schlubs after years of marriage pretty much forget them before the ink is dry on the papers.

Flash forward to January of 2012 and we find our previously boastful, pre-marriage Katy Perry in divorce proceedings with a situationally famous Russel Brand. But,…wait you say, isn’t this the same Katy Hudson Perry who so publicly shamed her first Alpha love Shane Lopes?

Perry dedicated her next song, a kiss-off anthem from her double-platinum 2008 disc “One of the Boys,” to her former crush and even tweaked a lyric in the middle of the song for the occasion, singing, “I can’t believe I fell in love with Shane Lopes.”

At the end of the tune, she looked directly at Lopes, held up her hand — which prominently displays her engagement ring [ed. Russel’s dowery investment] — and said, “That’s cool, I got mine,” and mockingly blew him a kiss.

Yeah, that same one. Yet the plot still thickens with the billboard chart topping hit/video released by Hudson Perry aptly entitled “The ONE that got away” (*apologies for subjecting my readership to this audio mayonaise), wherein we find a visibly aged Katy retrospectively pining away for her post high school Alpha artist lover of a bygone decade in the luxurious home of whom we presume is her aging beta providership for the duration of her soon to be ending life.

For all the internal conflicts and psychology that caffeinates the rationalization hamster in women, I’ll admit that it occasionally makes for some convincing artistic statements. I was almost feeling sorry for the young Katy, that is until her past lover comically swerves to avoid a Laurel Canyon rockslide and dives off a cliff in his 70’s Mustang. The premise that the guy plummets to his death then absolves our heroine of the liability of her next most significant life choice; settling for the unexciting beta provider responsible for what we presume is the duration of her lavish, yet empty, life. He’s not the One that got away due to any reason she implicitly enacted, he’s the one who was blamelessly taken from her by fate. Tragic reality replaced by fairytale .

Poor, poor Katy. Her Alpha love is forever denied to her. I wonder how Russel Brand feels after watching this? Like maybe a (situationally) Alpha  high school QB with little more than a GED can still upstage a Hollywood actor if his impact is significant enough on a woman? I can’t help but imagine that Katy is oblivious to the irony of all this. That’s the real tragedy; that women would be  convinced of this soul-mate pornography, while still subject to the War Brides dynamic. Still more ironic is Katy Perry’s story as a parallel to contemporary western women’s. Party and dance, settle in with the provider before the inevitable Wall impact and pine for the One that got away.

47 comments

  1. Well done. My wife has been asking me to do a post on this very song/video, without even knowing about Roissy’s previous post. I think I’ll take her up on it.

  2. They are divorcing now. She wanted to party and he wanted to chill out, so she took her ring of, gave it to him and said “Im gonna do my own thing”. He left and went back to his mum´s.

  3. Notice how alpha the artist is (I give him 8 of 10) She fucks with his painting, and he ejects. A Beta would have stayed and cried and/or gotten pissy. But his betatude in finding so much sentimentality in the veil dropped from the sun visor, distracts him sufficiently from reality that it ends up killing him.

    Interesting video, and one that reveals a lot about the inner workings of Ms. Perry.

  4. I think what needs to be emphasized here is the lack of accountability in the video’s story. If the artist guy were to have simply NEXTed young Katy and didn’t die (by “accident”) the impact is unavoidably about her. In other words, she has to own the mistake and assume at least partial responsibility in driving him away.

    This would be the more realistic scenario, and in fact the song’s lyrics actually align with the reality that the video attempts to sugarcoat. However, as is the theme of feminine solipsism, women need to fabricate a pathology to preserve their egos when reality is uncomfortably incongruent with their self-awareness.

    Naturally we’re expected to believe the guy was reconsidering Katy’s behavior as he sentimentally fondles the veil that drops from the Mustang’s visor just long enough to distract him from the rock slide and send him careening over dead man’s curve like Matt Dillon in Rumblefish. It wasn’t her fault, just an unfortunate misunderstanding with a tragic end.

    There is no true accountability for the female imperative, only an endlessly fluid re-scripting of ego incongruencies.

  5. Call me romantic if you must, I am, but this is the endpoint I always shoot for. Concocting drama and scripting grand (teary-eyed) exits is like an addiction to me. Hurting them is inevitable, I guess. Like using a red-hot branding iron to leave your mark etched permanently on their souls.

  6. Ironically, the young Katy Perry here enthusiastically accepts her matching tattoo with love. Nothing says “Alpha was here” like the permanency of a good branding.

  7. The funniest part about this is the guy she pines for is a caricature of the kind of guy modern young women value in today’s sexual market. A skinny, slightly effeminate (watch 1:08-1:15) leather jacket wearing guitar playing artist dude with long dark hair who drives a sports car and has an antique motorcycle sitting in his living room.

    And women call us “shallow”.

  8. That brings up another interesting point.

    She is pining for an idealized version of this man, the one she remembers from the snapshot she has of him from 40 years ago. Just as likely she would be standing there lamenting her unfortunate fate had she stuck with the artsy alpha who would have eventually transformed into a fat, lazy, beer swilling couch potato after she nitpicks him about spending too much time with his art and music and convinces him to sell all of his toys because they are too dangerous.

    That kind of story wouldn’t work in a music video but in reality the same woman would likely be prone to pining for some other dude she snubbed back in the day once she realizes that she was able to easily strip prince charming of all of those things that made her gina tingle.

  9. I can not see here the video, I receive a message stating its content is restricted “on certain sites” (eh) and watchable only on Youtube.

  10. This video is a pre-forensic analysis of a beta male’s sexless marriage and icy cold wife.

    Look at the “young” version of her in the video.

    All young women have this potential in them.

    But few romantic scenarios will bring it out. Remember, this kind of young woman is not in love with that man. She is in love with the chemical high that alpha proximity brings.

    More of a drug addiction than a relationship.

  11. Just more evidence of lateral hypergamy, as xsplat would say.

    Uber alpha Russel Brand getting punked by a comparitive nobody from a decade ago.

    As a side observation, I’m betting she must have been near the top of the totem pole in high school. Seems like only the really hot and popular chicks pine after dudes who rejected them, The lesser girls learned how to move on early in high school.

    Update “hot and popular in high school” to “hot in the real world”, amd you’ve got yourself a life lesson. Be that dude the hot chick can’t wrangle in.

  12. When I first read this, I couldn’t help but think of an ex who still calls, E-mails, and otherwise keeps trying to have more than a single word conversation – I usually respond with one word, when I answer and find it’s her calling from an unknown phone number – “Good-bye”

    I mean, I don’t hold a grudge – I was seeing other women – she objected and gave an ultimatum. I opted for “not-her” option – simple, easy, quick – or so I thought. For about three months life was bliss – then I started getting teary calls. I had no clue who this crying woman was on the phone – I thought she was a customer for my business at first. E-mails that went on forever, and letters. Do you know that you cannot refuse letters? You can tear them up, but they get delivered – certified mail, you have to sign for, or at least someone (usually a secretary) does… Ugh…

    Of course I have to be grateful she hasn’t made a spectacle of herself at my office. But come on… She’s hot, she has lots of guys chasing her, and she freaks when she’s kicked to the curb. Of course, I suspect its probably never happened to her before – but get over it…

  13. I was always disturbed by the movie “The Notebook” (I saw it once and it was on a date) due to the main female character cheat on her husband with a man from her past and then leave her husband for that man (similar theme was done on the titanic with huge success). For those that don’t know “The Notebook” is the biggest chick crack flick of today women, they just love it and they can’t get enough of.

    Anyway when ever I ask a woman’s opinion how can they possibly support the cheating by the main female character, they look at me like I fell from the sky and basically tell me that the cheating was justifiable because he was her one true love and the husband was not! So you see this is the kind of bullshit men now have to deal with.

  14. Bit harsh on Russell, that man is more Alpha than most. In Britain, before he started appearing in movies, he was a stand up comic famous for sleeping with lots of women.

  15. “There is no true accountability for the female imperative, only an endlessly fluid re-scripting of ego incongruencies.”

    Well that is not quite true Rollo, for thousands upon thousands of years civilizations subjugated their women to the needs of their man…women were merely property to their man..

    Until we get back to this paradigm there will forever be dischord and chaos for men

  16. I disagree, Russell Brand’s schtick was being a post-modern version of a dandy. A tradition that goes back to the late 18th century. There’s nothing alpha about that other than him playing the game as defined by a bunch of screwed up British white chicks with crap taste in music.

    There’s alot about modern ‘popular’ British culture and music that allows the talentless but trendy to succeed in Britain. Before Katie Perry and Lady Gaga, there was the way, way, way ghey Scissor Sisters, before them Take That, the Spice Girls, and well back.

    That America also suffers from the same disease of liking craptacular ‘pop’ music gives me little hope that the UK and US will last much longer.

  17. in real life, she’d look him up on Facebook and his profile photo would show some cool looking 60 ish dude with some 28 year old posing as his new muse…

  18. Watched it once with my wife, basically shit canned it from my mind. It just underlines in my mind that the hamster can churn things up enough to justify anything. That means as the only rational person in the relationship it is indeed up to me to manage it. Just like sailing a boat that means understanding the affect that any random gust of wind can have and knowing how the boat handles in it. There is a reason why ships are called “her” and men need to be the captain in the relationship.

  19. I was not in the least bit supprised when Katy ditched this talentless looser, I have never been able to see any signs of anything remotely alpha in Brand. He is slightly built, and has weedy effeminette voice tone. If it was true about his supposed endowment surely Katy would still be joyfully riding it.

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  22. There is no true accountability for the female imperative, only an endlessly fluid re-scripting of ego incongruencies.

    Well said, as always. I was annoyed by the video for the very reasons you pointed out. I enjoyed it up right up to the point where they copped out with the accidental death. Lame.

  23. Russel Brand himself is an alpha male. Plus he’s into that whole Eastern spirituality thing, the Hare Krishnas to be precise, and they have some really beautiful women in their ranks (many Russians and Eastern European women are members of ISKCON) and the whole “spiritual gig” is attractive to a lot of mainstream women as well.

    So he’s getting female attention from all corners. No need to feel sorry for the guy.

  24. Just so you people all know.

    Russell Brand filed for divorce from Katheryn Elizabeth Hudson in Los Angeles Superior Court Dec., 2011.

    He divorced her.

    Case of Alpha boy refusing to beta down?

    Interesting how everybody assumes the woman did the divorcing . . . and then go off theorizing about all kinds of evo-psych stuff based on- something that didn’t happen . . .

    google is your friend, armchair red pill quarterbacks

  25. 5 Minutes of Alpha gets uglier and uglier with every generation of pop tart singers.

    The entire song is about them pining over super hunky alpha who’s smile can light up an entire city and makes them melt, and he’s obviously rejected them for someone else. The lyrics are just dripping with self rationalizations and attempts to convince oneself that they were indeed the prize to be sought, yet they still continue to cry about the actual prize (the alpha) that got away and rejected them.

    Parts of the lyrics include gems like:

    Maybe you’ll get married
    And she will kiss your feet..

    Maybe on your honeymoon
    You’ll think of me..

    And I wonder does it blow your mind
    That I’m leaving you far behind
    I wonder does it stop your heart to know
    You’re not my sunshine anymore…

    and on and on. The sense of alpha entitlement and snowflakeism is overwhelming. You can feel it in the way they envision (or delude themselves) into thinking that this alpha will even remotely be thinking of them at any point in the distant future lamenting about them, so they can feel smug in their sense of having ‘the last laugh’ so to speak.

    The last refuge of the damned.

    This entire song is a celebration of the alpha that got away and everything a girl has to do to pretend that loss doesn’t affect her.

    Sadly, i find this tune catchy and the beat is fun to listen to. I have no doubt that these messages will imprint on girls to justify their alpha chasing into heartbreak central.

    “But it’s such a pity a boy so pretty, so pretty, so pretty
    With an ugly heart ”
    As if that couldn’t be said about women as well, but it comes with the territory. The more options you have, the more ruthless you can be in your choices. The hotter you are, the easier others will absolve you of shitty behavior.

    Final note. Notice how it’s culturally acceptable for women to inflict criminal violent behavior on men for having the temerity to say ‘No’ to a woman? Flip the script and you’d have Marcotte and Valenti screaming about how a video showing a hot womans face tatood by a scorned ex proves how society hates women and shows that men feel entitled to womens bodies to desecrate as they see fit, yada yada… basically condoning Elliot Rogers actions.

    But because it’s hunky dude with the tatted face.. lighten up and have a sense of humor eh.

  26. About ten years ago, when I was in college I took a course where I met a fat chick. That fat chick was in a LDR with some Omega chump. She got tired of that and dumped him. After that she started to chase me, maybe because I was the only single man in a course full of women. To be honest I was an AFC Beta chump (I am still Beta, but at least a recovering Beta) but when she chased me I always acted aloof, indifferent, cocky and I usually laughed at her face. She invited me to go out several times, but I rejected her. Some day she even purchased some tickets to go to the cinema but I told her NO!!! After some time I felt a little guilty and pity for her and I accepted to go for lunch and a walk, after that she started to act like if I were her boyfriend. I got angry and I sent her to go to fuck herself and rejected her several more times. She finally gave up and stopped chasing me, when the course finished I moved to another city.

    As far as I know she hasn´t been in a relationship since then and almost ten years later she still sends me e-mails regularly trying to keep in touch and asking me if I am in a relationship or so. When I started to read Châteaus’s and Rollo’s blog I realized that probably in her mind I am Alpha (at least some kind of contextual Alpha), I think I Alpha widowed her even without having sex ……lolzlzlzlzllzlololz

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