The Threat

Nothing is more threatening yet simultaneously attractive to a woman than a man who is aware of his own value to women.

My use of the word “threat” here isn’t to imply malice. I’m sure more simplistic associations with violence or conflict is the natural one, but a “threat” is a challenge – how one deals with it is what’s at issue. As I stated in the Three Strikes thread,

Women’s sexual strategy is very schizophrenic – ideally women want a Man that other women want to fuck, but in order to assess his sexual market value to other women he’s got to have exercisable options for her to compete against, or at least display indirect social proof to that effect. So, she needs to limit his options while simultaneously determining he has those options.

This internal conflict between a want for security and provisioning, and a need for the ‘gina tingles that only the excitement indignation, drama and Alpha dominance can stimulate is the fundamental root for women’s shit tests. From Plate Theory VI:

Essentially a shit test is used by women to determine one, or a combination of these factors:

a.) Confidence – first and foremost
b.) Options – is this guy really into me because I’m ‘special’ or am I his only option?
c.) Security – is this guy capable of providing me with long term security?

Women’s shit testing is a psychologically evolved, hard-wired survival mechanism. Women will shit test men as autonomously and subconsciously as a men will stare at a woman’s big boobs. They cannot help it, and often enough, just like men staring at a nice rack or a great ass, even when they’re aware of doing it they’ll still do it. Men want to verify sexual availability to the same degree women want to verify a masculine dominance / confidence.

For a woman, to encounter a man with a healthy awareness of his own value to women, this constitutes a threat. Here is a man for whom’s attention women will demonstrably compete for, AND he knows this. This is the most basic affront to the feminine imperative; to be unplugged, of high SMP value and to derive confidence from it. Therefore, in order to actualize her own sexual strategy, his self-confidence MUST be put into self-doubt, because if such a man were to use this knowledge to his own benefit he may not select her from a pool of better prospective women. Thus she must ask “Are you really sure of yourself? You think you’re so great? Maybe you’re just egotist? Don’t tempt fate.”

In this example we can see the conflict inherent in women’s sexual strategy; she wants the Alpha dominance of a confident Man, but not so confident that he can exercise his options with other women well enough to make an accurate estimation of her own SMV.

Ambiguity in men’s assessment of a woman’s true sexual market value is the primary tool of the feminine imperative.

The same characteristics that give him his confidence and acknowledged sense of worth are exactly the same things that women want to be associated with. Even the most controlling, domineering wife still wants to tell her friends that the AFC she married is a “real Man”, and even after privately berating him, will defend him as such because anything less is a reflection on her own self-image. She wants to be with a Man that other men want to be, and other women want to fuck, because it confirms for her that she’s of an equal or higher value to attract such a Man.

Women don’t want a man to cheat, but they love a Man who could cheat.

That is the threat and the attraction. Women want a Man that has confidence in his own value; that’s sexy, but the more he self-realizes this the greater the anxiety is that she’ll be found wanting as he better understands his options. So it becomes necessary to develop social contrivances that are standardized across the feminine gender that limit the full recognition of masculine self-value. Thus masculinity is ridiculed, men become characterized as slaves to their sexuality, and masculinity becomes doubted by virtue of itself. In a global sense, the feminine imperative relies on the same ambiguity women will individually employ to confuse the efforts of men to assess their true SMV. By means of social conventions, psychologically force him to doubt his own SMV and women become the arbiters of it.

Race to Awareness

Because of women’s relatively short window of peak sexual viability it is imperative that men be as unaware of their slower, but progressively increasing SMV for as long as possible in order for them to achieve the prime directive of female hypergamy; realize the best genetic options and the best provisioning options she has the capacity to attract in that peak window. If Men become aware of their SMV before a woman can consolidate on her options with monogamous commitment her sexual strategy is defeated.

The mistake (and the binary retort) is to think this need for contrivances was concocted in whole as some grand sisterhood conspiracy. This just proves an ignorance of social constructs. For a social contrivance to be such, it necessitates being repeated by society WITHOUT a formal conception – meaning we learn the contrivance from seeing it, internalizing it and repeating it ourselves without forethought. The best social contrivances are inconspicuous and rarely questioned because they’ve been learned without having been formally taught. This is why I think encouraging men NOT to bother trying to understand women is in itself a social convention. Don’t look at that man behind the curtain, just accept it for what it is, enjoy the show, you’re better off that way, the Mighty Oz has spoken.

This is the threat that Game represents to the feminine imperative. Widely shared, objective assessments of Men’s SMV and how it develops is the antithesis of the female sexual strategy. Women’s greatest fear is that they could become the ‘selected’ instead of the ‘selectors’.


70 responses to “The Threat

  • A.B. Dada

    Good topic — but in recent years’ experiences, maybe just 2 years, there’s a warning to be shared: you absolutely can price yourself out of a woman’s dating pool.

    When I started seeing my current #1, she was pretty average but really high interest towards me. Coming down from dating a solid 9 (who was batshit insane and got worse on the pill), it was nice to have a gal who had a job, didn’t go out at all, had no addictions, and just adored being in my presence, even if she was mostly average overall, other than in her loving of me.

    The problem with that is, you can easily become addicted to low maintenance women — sure, they don’t offer much DHV in public and they’re not hot little coeds, but they take care of many needs so well and without complaint that it’s hard to accept social women.

    So you scorn the social women, LJBF them instantly, push them around like your little brothers, and the social women want you more. The average girls who are low maintenance and the kind you marry see how much the social women want you and figure you’d never settle for a low maintenance average cute girl.

    It’s probably the opposite of what the PUA community wants (new hot girl rotation), but that got old for me quickly because the closer a gal is to a 10, the more insane she is and I’m just too busy with life to deal with that shit long term, even 1 night. Give me low maintenance, skinny, cute, and loving over hot and flaky and hyper-hypergamy, but then the problems above arise.

    Some evo-psych guys will say that a man with Game will never price himself out of range of a gal because her hamster will always spread her legs for him, but that’s not the case — you can overwhelm the hamster if you’re too confident, cocky, and self-centered. As Heartiste says: give her random acts of kindness and love and attention, or you may lose her if she thinks she has no chance.

  • dc1k

    Great post Rollo

    I think you’re inching closer to the real topic of interest for myself and many others. After a failed marriage I took the medicine, adopted game and have lived a great life for several years of fine women, wine and song. However, I’ve now found a woman that I love and with whom am interested yet again in more kids (have two already), increasing my reproductive success.

    She is a legit 8.5-9, in her prime (26) and high status.

    She loves me to death. The only thing I could do is fuck it up by Beta’ing up too much, or her somehow forgetting that I’m high SMV (which I am).

    She literally beat out five girls from my prior rotation to earn my fidelity so the memory of my desirability from other women is fresh, but how to keep that going as time goes on? I am not a cheater, can’t do it. But simply flirting with other women? Will that be enough?

    Men want to be me. I’m a leader, an entrepreneur, a success.

    But its that edge, the I could get fucked by another hot chick at any time edge, that needs to be sharp.

    How do we do that short of actually fucking the other chick and maintaining some level of ethics and integrity (i.e staying true to my word)…

    I’ve read the plate theory series but what about ‘plates in practice?’

  • Stu

    +1

    i.e. LTR game.

  • caRIOca

    Undisclosed social contrivances is a very deep topic that should be explored. I´m sure there are dozens of them that we follow without noticing. Examples out of the intergender relations:

    -People get upset when you don´t eat sugar or drink alcohol with them.
    -People will be angry with you if you leave early to have 8 hours of sleep.

    Rollo, you are a philosopher, your job is to bring light to unnoticed things. Help us to be free from the chains of hidden neolithic social contrivances.

  • Rollo Tomassi

    Your wish has been granted:
    https://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2011/09/09/operative-social-conventions/

    Heheh,..feel free to peruse the Social Conventions category from my blog’s sidebar.

  • lovelost

    I think eventually when Game becomes pervasive, men will be the selectors, even the beta guys. It’s taking time, all good things takes time to mature, game will eventually become main stream. I looking forward to that day.

  • (r)Evoluzione

    AB, I cosign with all of this. My #1 is an entertainer, not hot by objective standards, but has a great body, is fantastically fit, sexual, loving, giving, and low-maintenance. The high-maintenance hotties are pain in the ass, with the constant shit testing and rather unpalatable personalities. There may be 10 in 1000 that are both hot and low maintenance, those country girls who haven’t yet figured out that they’re uberhot, but they will quickly sour in an urban environment if they’re the least bit extroverted.

    I’m holding out for that 1 in 100 chance, and I believe confidence and a modicum of game will be the deciding factor. That and living a life with heart, living the life that I want to live. Which is, I suppose, the essence of inner game.

  • (r)Evoluzione

    “-People get upset when you don´t eat sugar or drink alcohol with them.

    -People will be angry with you if you leave early to have 8 hours of sleep.”

    Tease them about becoming weak, old, tired, fatass diabetics. Be amused at their discomfort when you refuse. Aloof mastery is a big DHV. I have learned to enjoy the hell out of teasing people about their poor lifestyle habits. It’s so much fun to throw monkeywrenches into people’s contrived social conventions. It takes practice and a big dose of Don’t Give a Fuck if it doesn’t go your way. But when you master this, you master having social power.

  • Hero

    Agreed. Rollo, drop some knowledge on LTR/married game.

    We are all benefitting from your writings. Excellent, thought provoking stuff. Thank you.

  • Dan

    Woman (“her test”), Man (blank stare at her, he remains calm/cool/collected). Woman (“another test”), Man (no anger because he is unaffected by her tests, unreactive/ignores her tests, maybe a slight smile, maybe a slight laugh, looks at her thinking “I know you want me,” rubs her shoulder, strokes her hair, kisses her). Tests over. Man won (therefore, they both win).

  • Good Luck Chuck

    A little off topic but I want to point out something regarding infidelity.

    Regardless of feminist protestations to the contrary, female infidelity is far WORSE than society would have us believe, and male infidelity isn’t nearly as bad as it is made it out to be.

    The feminine imperative would have you believe that the act of cheating on a woman is a heinous, unforgivable act, but the facts do not bear this out.

    “If you are going to cheat on me, just make sure I don’t find about it”. I have lost count of the number of women who have told me some variation of this over the years. It was basically a permission slip with a stipulation. Women simply do not have much to lose from their partner’s infidelity. In the fucked up social climate we live in today the one thing they DO have to lose is respect from their peers when the harpie chorus finds out their man stepped out, hence, the “make sure I don’t find out about it” disclaimer.

    In other words, don’t feel guilty about being a man. Especially if you’re dating a chick you don’t plan on marrying. Chances are good that she’s going to cheat on you eventually and when she does you’ll feel like an emasculated chump when you remember the night you passed up that free piece of ass because you wanted to remain faithful to your girl.

    Cheating men get rewarded with more sex and affection. Cheating women get tossed to the curb.

  • redborealis

    It seemed like you came close to saying that feminism itself is a kind of shit test on a massive scale. Or perhaps it’s nothing more than a unconscious attempt to ‘test’ the limits of male tolerance.

    Men need to realize that women are like all other creatures, they’re inherently unsatisfied with their lot in life by default, and they won’t settle for an inch if a mile’s in view. Do you think they’ll stop at a mile if you’ve let them get that far?

  • Southern Man

    The most valuable lesson I gained from game after fifty years of betadom was to recognize that I had value. This is tough when you’re with a woman who tears down everything you do as inconsequential and rejects everything you desire as unimportant. That recognition of value brings confidence; that confidence brings a new attitude in everything that I do.

  • Good Luck Chuck

    Women aren’t always testing, but they are ALWAYS judging. It doesn’t matter if feminism is test or not, the end result is that men who react to it the right way are rewarded and men who react to it the wrong way are severely punished. No different than your date observing how you react toward another person who disrespects you in front of her- she had nothing to do with the “test” but you better believe she is making an assessment based upon your reaction.

  • King A's Bastard Son

    I knew if I waited long enough A.B. Dada would be back to posting the first comment.

    He must be back from Vegas…or Macau….or wherever the hell he’s been.

    One question though…did he take his purse and Beretta?

    And did he “endow” any writers while he was away?

  • Mike C

    Stellar post. One of your best and most useful for a guy who really needs to internalize a different mindset.

    Alot of different things I’d like to expand on here, but just one for now. I’m a stock guy, and one idea of investing is to buy undervalued stocks the market doesn’t recognize.

    Essentially, one aspect of the feminine imperative at the high level is to basically convince guys to UNDERVALUE themselves in the SMP. It plays to the whole frame of “you are a lucky guy to have her”. How often do you hear the opposite? There are powerful motives to keep most guys thinking that women are the prize, rather then seeing himself as the prize.

  • Mike C

    Second that request. The longer you are with one woman, how do you effectively convey you are a guy with options?

  • walawala

    It’s hard to go against “social conventions” and be your own person—or break out of the easy comfort of AFC where you’re feeling “lucky” to get the attention of some woman.

    Game takes effort and the biggest set-backs are the ones of our own making—settling. You game a hottie and find success and then suddenly you go back to where you were and then lose the upper hand and she leaves.

    I just watched “Moneyball” that film about how Bill Beane turned baseball upside down by defying the status quo.

    There’s a great line in there I’m paraphrasing where near the end he goes for a job interview for another team and the owner hiring him says that the first one to break through the wall always ends up bloody.

    The way Bill maintains an alpha frame in public while often privately fighting self-doubt and frustration is a must-see for anyone who needs an analogy for breaking out of the “matrix”.

  • walawala

    It seems like a surprise when you get a positive reaction/respect/success by employing game techniques…you feel “lucky”.

    Success builds confidence. The hardest thing is once you’ve had a string of success dealing with a set-back. There is a tendency to go back to that AFC frame and think it’s who you are.

    But it’s not “lucky” at all. It’s simply a matter of reframing and refusing to accept what you don’t want.

  • derthal

    Feminine imperatives are so strong rooted in society that even in magazines directed to especially to men like “men’s health” are deeply contaminated by those imperatives. I’v just read in Polish edition “men’s health” an article titled “5 tips on modern woman”.
    Main ideas included in article:
    – do not touch her (hands off) at the first date, she must to know you better at first
    – do not go to the clubs a few times a week because you do not increase you chances to meet fine woman, instead be friend with women and you have better chance to meet wonderful woman thanks to your women buddies, otherwise you are poor, lonely, trying hard guy with social issues
    – you should have something in common with woman as her mate candidate like common hobby, interest – it’s you role to amuse overworked, lonely corporate woman
    – if woman overly say “no” it means “no, but the fact is there is no additional information which tell you that if she says “no” you are not attracted to her at all and should next her.

    One good advice in article is “do not try to impress her”.

    It’s worth to mention that assistant editor and commissioning editor at Polish edition “men’s health” is… a woman….!

    It’s terrible.

  • walawala

    For the last 2 months a 26 year old I gamed and banged had been chasing me. I went on a long-planned vacation with my ex-gf as we’d planned it before we broke up.

    I posted a few photos of us hanging out.

    New girl got clearly upset, asked if I was traveling with my ex:

    Me: “Lots of people out here…”

    Her a few days later: Are you dating lots of Latina girls out there?

    Me: TONS.

    When I got back she was very cool to the point where she was blanking me at a party. When I figured out she was deliberately ignoring her I upped the ante by chatting with her friends and making sure she saw me with other girls.

  • driveallnight

    Her: Are you dating lots of Latina girls out there?

    Me: TONS.

    *****

    Personally, I won’t give a straight answer to a question like that. Much better to let the hamster run….

    Her: Are you dating lots of Latina girls out there?

    Me: Heh. You wearing underwear right now?

  • derthal

    Unplugging from The Matrix:
    http://tinyurl.com/7xh39tr

  • bmwk1200s

    Her: Are you dating lots of Latina girls out there?
    You: I am being circled.

    Aloof…keep em guessing.

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  • Derick

    I’m finding your articles very helpful.

    Thanks

  • Big Pimp

    LMFAO !
    Welcome to MY WORLD :D

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  • Mark Minter

    I am kind of far down on the comment page here. But I have a question. I might put in a few other essays. How pervasive in percentage do you guys think that a) The whole hypergamy/Evo Psych topic is? b) and PUA/Game across the different age groups? 18-24? 25-30? 30-35? 35+? MGTOW? MRA?

    My analogy is that Evo Psych and these topics are like learning the Law of Gravity. You see things fall all of your life. You know you can keep things up higher if you give the thing some support. Then when you learn the Law of Gravity, nobody has to really explain it to you. It now has a academic definition and a quantification. You accept it immediately. I took a Sex Roles (Gender Roles) in college and the bitch professor just bashed men and had to use all these statistics to bring her points home. The students had no real experience of some man that regularly beat his wife or never helped in the house or they never experienced a boss that sexually harassed them. So the prof had to use stats to frame this “social problem” to magnify these issues over the reality of them in society. When the boys would protest, the prof would say “Despite your local experience, empirical data shows this to be the case”. Over and over, she would say this. So with Evo Psych, most of us have immediate personal experience that the academic work now explains. You saw this crap from women all of your life and now there is an explanation as to why.
    Empirical Data? We don’t need no stinking empirical data.

    So I wonder if it is just sweeping across the male gender.

    PS. If you haven’t seen the new 21 Jump street, the theme is that all the boys in high school new are these sensitive guys, no bullys, even the A group is “earth aware. hate aware. sensitive” AFCs in training. My son lives in Boulder and they had anti-bullying awareness classes and gay sensitivity and read books like “Billy has two mommies” and “My two daddies”. It’s a weird movie. So I wonder how much Game has made it into high school.

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  • Solo

    Rollo you got a post on shit test and what not? I’m rusty and I need to brush up something fierce

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  • Kourosh

    @redborealis
    “It seemed like you came close to saying that feminism itself is a kind of shit test on a massive scale.”

    Brother, I think you may well be touching upon something truly major and profound. In my own opinion based on what I’ve seen in my own life, I think that ultimately, women want to follow men who can lead, and a century or so of cognitive rationalization will not overwrite eons of evolutionary development; it quite simply cannot happen.

    Now obviously, I recognize that we’re all equal and that nobody has titleship of possession over anyone else’s lives or bodies, but I think you may really be onto something. The very idea of the feminist revolution may very possibly be a “shit test” in a sense from the collective unconscious, as Jung called it, from the overall populace of women in general. I’ve never thought of it this way. Thank you for pointing this out!

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  • CS

    “If Men become aware of their SMV before a woman can consolidate on her options with monogamous commitment her sexual strategy is defeated.”

    Bare with me here, but from what I can see, young men actively seek out monogamous relationships. They are contented to be with a woman. This is prevalent across the world and strikes me as too ingrained to be the product of “the feminine imperative” brainwashing.

    If it was so against the grain, against their internal polygamy, why do these men fall into these relationships so early and easily? Why does what the feminine imperative preach to them seem so plausible? Are men really that gullible that they will not only deny their own urges, but they will engage in noxious double-think in order to convince themselves this is what they really want?

    I just find it hard to believe that men are not somehow predisposed towards monogamy (at the very least, in the short term). I see so many dudes, without sexual experience, falling in to this “trap”. Perhaps it is that modern polygamous Alpha males are the products of their environment, using a learned skill to generate happiness in a world where original monogamous options are not available or feasible.

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  • TheFlump

    a girl I know recently return from a weekend away at Butlins, I flippantly said to her “did you get lucky?” she’s looked at me like I just spoken Punjabi, she couldn’t say ‘no’ as that would imply her luck was down and she failed at something, and she couldn’t say ‘yes’ as that would imply promiscuity, after an awkward pause she just said something like “that would be telling”… I guess women seldom consider luck to be a part of their sexual activities. whereas men are often considered to just get lucky.

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  • Mac

    Wow, this really adds a whole new perspective. Thanks for sharing!

    “Women’s greatest fear is that they could become the ‘selected’ instead of the ‘selectors’.”

    So true!

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  • aislinnblowkisses

    Dude, I really cannot believe you operate this blog with cofindence and dignity. And if you’re still married, your wife must be deaf and mute, or non-existent, because the ideas you propagate about the actions of women and the thought processes, (or, as you think of them apparenty, biological processes) we go through, are so terribly misinformed, I cannot truly believe you’re married to one. She must be a true fathers’ daughter (a daughter of the patriarchy) to truly love you and still accept your ideas and imbecilic ramblings as truth.

    I’m not even going to bother pointing out your individual mistakes and assumptions on this round. My last comment to your post about appreciation should provide more than enough framework about why you’re wrong and in what ways. I must say, I think as women, we all see the same exact problems you point out in us, the problem is, men like you (and women, also) seek only to blame us, and somehpw find an excuse within our dna, our bodies, our brains, as opposed to looking at the very obvious impetus of a system that forces us ALL to do much that we don’t want to be. Clearly, you have the right idea in mind, trying to educate your felow man, but your knowledge is badly flawed dear. Your knowledge is in fact, not knowledge at all, but assumptions based on a one sided observation and view of women. You cannot be a woman in this world, no man can, and as such, you CANNOT educate men as to the thought processes of women.

    You need to do less blaming of us, and more talking about how you and other men can mature and heal together, thus helping us to mature, or in real world terms, rediscover who we are in the midst of real men. The failing of your entire blog is that it’s called “The Rational Man” Yet you are far from being rational, or a man.

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  • Li

    @aislinnblowkisses

    I will like to explain why woman like you encourage men to not take you seriously. Unlike the article, you make claims and assumptions without substantially. Instead, you followed up statements with emotionally charged insults, aiming at the author. Your post, in and of itself, is a shit test that attempts to discredit the article’s points through “hurting his feelings.” So allow me to offer a response at the intellectual level you have demonstrated.

    – No, it is not men’s job to mature so that it will help you mature. Do it yourself.
    – Yes, I can predict female thought processes as a man. Google “psychology”, “research scince”, and “validity\reliability”.
    – Yes, we will blame you becuase it is your responsibility to understand and control your own behaviors. It is not the men’s responsibility, and not the system’s. It is yours.

    So cupcake, you have three options here. One, stop posting selfserving, victim mentality nonsense. Two, use emperical evidence and adhere to logic and scientific standards. Or three, blog about “wearing contacts for the first time”.

    Cheers

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