Nothing says “I love you” like saturated fat and slutty lingerie.

In the U.S. businesses expect men to spend on average $186 for Valentine’s day – over three times the average a woman spends on a man. Explain to me why women own V-Day? If it’s a “celebration of romantic love” why should it be an annual shit test?

Lets clarify a few things about Vagintines Day since it’s become probably the most irksome manifestation of westernized/commercialized romanticism. V-Day is far and away the most vulgar display of female entitlement. On no occasion – even a woman’s birhtday or her wedding anniversary – is this sense of entitlement more pronounced and our refined commercialization of this entitlement/expectation simply twists the knife in further for men to live up to this with ZERO expectation or entitlment to any reciprocation. He gets ‘lucky‘ if his romantic offerings are sufficient to appease her (social) media fueled expectations of ‘good enough’ to reward him with sex.

And exploit the media does. I can’t get away from it; Every radio station, every TV show, every newspaper and magazine article. Go to askmen.com right now, I guarantee there’s a “how not to fuck up this year’s V-Day for her” article there.

I listened to a talk radio show that I regularly tune into on my commute home on Friday; it was about what not buy this year. “Don’t buy lingerie, she knows it’s really a gift for you” or “Don’t pick up flowers at the gas station, women know they’re cheap”, and “God forbid you pick up some cheap jewlery or stop at one of those roadside urchins selling prepared flower baskets or arrangements – women know you didn’t think about it until you were on the way home.” On my way to work this morning, different show, same list. [Side Note: Never buy a woman lingerie, she will never be happy with it. A woman has to do this on her own to “feel sexy”, make sure it fits her right, and it’s HER IDEA. When you buy it for her it’s contrived and it is overt and overt is often the kiss of death for a try-hard guy.]

Why wouldn’t women have these expectiations? They’re relentlessly marketed to as the primary consumers in western culture. V-Day isn’t a celebration of romantic love, it’s a machine that drives a wedge of expectation and entitlement in between otherwise happy, relatively contented couples.

I’m not down on the idea of a special occasion to celebrate love (I actually proposed to Mrs. Tomassi on V-Day 15 years ago), I am down on the twisted expectations that have been perverted into it that puts a woman on some pedestal of entitlement by commercialized popularization of this feminized ideal. Why isn’t there an official “fuck your boyfriend like a wild animal” holiday or a list of criteria to meet that’ll make his day special? “Show him how appreciative you are of all his dependability and hard work this year – buy some lingerie ON YOUR OWN and pretend that you like him cuming in your mouth on his special day!” If women are so liberated and interested in equality, one would think this would be the first thing to occur to them. We need a special day to make us apprecitae each other?

Gentlemen, beware of falling into the trap of negotiating desire for Valentine’s Day performance. Don’t be lulled into thinking Game is any less necessary on V-Day. In fact, I can’t think of a more direct illustration of how the feminine encourages the transaction of men’s goods and services in exchange for a woman’s sexuality than reserving a ‘special day’ just for it. Remember, you cannot negotiate genuine desire; and with the right art, a bag of Skittles can be a more romantic gesture than all the sonnets, flowers and jewelry your inner romantic soul will ever be appreciated for by her.

Note to PUAs

Valentine’s Day is ripe with opportunity for an enterprising Man with the ability to see it. Go hit the clubs tomorrow night, particularly the ones that cater to a 25-40 y.o. affluent crowd. There’s a million different venues you can hit, all with promotions to help single ladies feel better about not having a date – usually with genderist drink specials to help your approach too. You’ll notice impromptu GNOs (girl’s night out) set up just for this occasion to prove to themselves “they don’t need men to have a good time.” A good PUA couldn’t arrange a better opportunity to hook up in multiple sets.

Don’t go play ‘pity friend’ with any girl on V-Day, don’t be the “you’re such a great friend” consolation date.. Call up your best wing man and sarge on the best night of the year to sarge. Wedding receptions aren’t even as good as V-Day for this.

V-Day in the Matrix

Just in case you weren’t already convinced of the complete totality of media control that the Matrix has, let me offer yet one more Valentine’s Day example:

I was in a grocery store this weekend picking up something to grill and thought it would be a convenient time to pick up a Valentine’s Card for my wife since it’s coming this week. So I meander over to the greeting cards section to sift this years crop of mushy sentiment.  Much to my disgust the only cards available in the “For My Wife” section of the Valentines Cards (and I mean ONLY cards available) come in two types:

A.) The sentimental, “My life was nothing before you and would be nothing without you”, tripe that reduces a man to a simpering, codependent who owes his very existence to the woman who deigned to marry the poor soul.

B.)The “humorous” Valentine that is essentially the greeting card equivalent of Everybody Loves Raymond or Family Guy. These are basically intended to beg for a wife’s forgiveness for all of his uniquely male faults and foibles, that only she can solve by virtue of her infallible feminine wiles. Judging from the ‘humorous’ intent of these cards, no man is capable of feeding himself much less ask for direction or leave a toilet seat down, but on “her special day” this card is meant to prompt an appologetic laugh.

Needless to say I’ll be making my own card this year, but for fuck’s sake, how can we ever get a break from this shit when we’re ankle-bitten at every opportunity? You simply cannot buy a card that doesn’t force a man to be self-depricating.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

26 comments on “V-Day

  1. Eh yes I understand the message of this post. Well written as usual, but come on do not be too severe.

    It can be the occasion for a timid beta guy to declare himself – semel in anno licet insanire, or similar – and be more bold in front of a possible rejection.

    And as you mention it can be the occasion to flag the desperate average Jane – no cats tonight!

    Well same stuff they say about Christmas – how commercial and so on.

    1. Although i love the idea of the Steak and BJ day
      You really can’t compare it to V-Day
      People Feminized society) see it as a joke, and women just laugh it off as us guys being try hard and immature.

    2. I dunno, maybe it’s cause I’m a city guy (growing up in the woods, it’s weird to even say), but Road Head holds no appeal to me. My fiancee offered once during rush hour, and I told her that if any part of her came near my dick while I was driving, she was apt to lose it. Urban driving is not conducive to distracted driving, and road head is the ultimate distraction.

      Hmm… next road trip, though…

  2. Nothing better than going to your local mall in the evening and just sipping on a latte/milkshake, watching all the suckers (read: Blue pill men) running around and trying, ever so hard, to please their pumpkin pie on her “special day” in the hopes of getting some rather guilt-ridden, mediocre sex. As a social experiment, there really is no better sample set from which to observe the cringe-worthy behavior that Game-less men exhibit towards women that lost any attraction they might have ever had.

    Must suck to be a woman, knowing that EVERY. SINGLE. MOVE. your man makes is done for the sole purpose of getting into your pants. Must be extremely refreshing to meet a man who not only doesn’t sycophantically buy you cheap pre-packaged shit (flowers, cards, fake smiles), but even makes you buy him drinks and dinner. Then fucks you like a dog.

    I love Sucker’s Day. It’s almost too easy to stand out.

  3. jesus

    someone asked me today what i have planned for my girl for tomorrow and i told them:


    Absolutely nothing. And she knows it too. I steadfastly refuse to participate in any form whatsoever. No card, no flowers, no dinner, no NOTHING.

    And she knows it.

    Last year she was a little sad but dealt with it, this year she knows it is (not) coming.

    To soften the blow, however, I did treat her and myself to a hotel/dinner getaway on August 14th – and mockingly called it “half valentines” day. of course I was the direct beneficiary – 5 star dining and accommodations and banging her brains out all day/night. no flowers, no candy, no jewelry, no gifts. nada.

    Valentines Day should not even be a matter of discussion. ever.

  4. I was talking to a buddy of mine yesterday and he was complaining about how his wife thinks that expensive meals, hotel rooms, vacations, etc for special occasions are her birthright. He works his ass off building his landscaping business and wants to take it to the next level but being saddled with a wife who doesn’t know the difference between “want” and “need” it’s never going to happen.

    The sad thing is that he fully understands that the marriage contract has him by the balls and that it is cheaper for him to keep her happy than to face the wrath of the courts.

    Where can I sign me up for some of that?

  5. Two things:

    1. Women will only get away with what men let them. If they expect gifts in exchange for affection it’s because we allowed it. It’s all our fault.

    2. Tomorrow night isn’t the best night for single guys, it was actuall the entire weekend. Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon, and Tue. The “anti-valentines day” parties started last week. Lol….

  6. I don’t mind V-Day but I never make a big deal out of it. For my wife tomorrow I’ll cook dinner (easy, for me – I enjoy cooking) and pick up a couple of her favorite cupcakes ($3 total) on the way home. It’s stupid to go out – everybody’s out.

  7. I really like the make your own card idea. You’re right about them all being real beta. I think it’s a good idea to write a paragraph or two, then write it out by hand, and give her a little love letter, if you’re good at writing. It doesn’t have to be beta, it can be alpha if you write it correctly. She’ll probably call up all her GF’s who got mere AFC cards from CVS and brag.

    As for cheap, good Valentines Day gifts: Go to a craft store, buy a chain, buy a nice pendant, and put it together. If you have some skill you can even pick up a few gems and place them (using super glue) on the pendant, especially if the pendant is made to have gems placed on them. A long time ago I made a girl a necklace like this for about $30, and it looked like something worth way more, and she loved it. I eventually told her I made it myself, and it made it a lot more special to her. The necklace took about 15 minutes to put together. You can get gold, silver, whatever – if you buy the individual components it’s way, way cheaper than buying some crap at the mall or a department store, or even the Internet.

  8. My fiancee knows how I feel about bullshit “holidays” like this, and she is highly unsentimental and knows I won’t be getting her a card, a gift, flowers, chocolate… anything. Instead, we’re going to the butchers to get a nice pork belly, and she’s going to cook me up an awesome dinner on Saturday.

    Of course, one could make the argument that her “lack of sentimentality” is directly proportional to my taking care of shit at home, and that, were I a creepy beta like the gentlemen in the flower ads on TV, then an extravagant show of gift-giving might be required. Instead, the two of us make fun of these chumps together.

    Fellas, if you have a good relationship with your lady(ies) and her girlfriends are single and lonely, you’ve already given her/them the greatest gift of all; the gift of superiority over her friends. The elation she will get “sympathizing” with her friends’ anti-VDay efforts is priceless.

    Beta Herb Ad Examples:

    (NB: Plenty of healthy saturated fat in that pork belly, Rollo. Embrace the lipid. Eschew the grain.)

  9. My buddy found a great woman down South a few months ago. She went all out on Valentines Day this year for him. He got a lot of gifts, totaling over $100 easily, and since she knows he’s broke, she legitimately expected nothing in return and was still more than happy when he said he would just make it up to her later on. She’s a giver – and that’s the kind of woman you want to be with. A giver, not a self-centered harpy.

  10. I’m not sure how popular it is every where but the counter to v-day is Steak and BJ day, March 14th. Look it up.

  11. I just loved all of the facebook pictures of the girls getting wined and dined at fancy restaurants. They weren’t pics of couples, they were pics of the girls alone, all dressed up sitting in obviously expensive restaurants.

    On a side note, I wrestled with the decision to send a chick a V-day text yesterday. I think it might have been to my advantage because:

    A) Her boyfriend dumped her a couple of weeks ago

    B) She is the sensitive, needy type who is prone to being attracted to beta traits (I have to be careful….even basic teasing is too much for her most of the time)

    My motto is “When in doubt, do nothing” so I avoided contact but I have to wonder if in this case it might have worked in my favor. The whole situation is throwing me for a loop because I am so used to dealing with self entitled bitches that I don’t even know how to game a chick who doesn’t have her head in the clouds.

  12. Your interpretation of the social construct of Valentine’s Day is biased by your own pre-existing assumptions, which frankly sound dangerously close to misogynistic.

    We are happily married. My husband and I both got each other suitable cards with neither much stress nor fanfare, and we both enjoyed them. He got flowers, I made dinner reservations. We both took the time to cherish and celebrate our love, and had a nice evening.

    One of my colleagues celebrated with his whole family (wife + 2 kids) with a dinner out. They took the time to cherish and celebrate their love, and had a nice evening.

    It’s that simple–and doesn’t have to be anything more complicated than celebrating mutually shared love unless you make it to be.

  13. It’s that simple–and doesn’t have to be anything more complicated than celebrating mutually shared love unless she expects it to be.


  14. A girl I’ve been gaming for some time had her birthday around Valentine’s Day. My nickname for her is Zombie Chick because she has this weird stare.

    She’s been giving me IOI’s and constantly flirting for months.

    She came out to a party on Valentine’s Day I was hosting. I approached her and very seriously said…”I have something very special for you”.

    I stared intently into her eyes as I handed it to her. “Save it for later, open it at home.”

    She became nervous saying “but my birthday has passed”—shit test…

    “Then wait another 364 days and open it then” I said, smiled and walked away.

    She was thrilled at the idea of having a gift.

    I wonder what her reaction was when she opened it to find it was the Zombie Dictionary, complete with an interactive audio file entitled “Speak Zombie”.

    I’d read about Feigning Beta Provider game where you act like you’re beta by giving a gift but it turns out to be some complete surprise…

    We didn’t contact each other since then….hamster spinning…

  15. Rollo – so what do you do on Valentines day? No acknowledgement of the day, a handmade card, a weekend getaway,…? Interested to know as its also your anniversary.

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