Dream Girls and Children with Dynamite

“Self-love is not so great a sin as self-neglect. – Henry V

Pride is one thing that people get very confused about. It’s a healthy thing to have pride of oneself, to be proud of our accomplishments; it’s a very real source of self-confidence. Humility is an admirable quality, don’t get me wrong, but humility is only genuine when you’re confident of your own abilities. It takes a humble Man to walk away from a fight that he knows he could win, but chooses not to engage in. Generally humility is only self-gratifying, because only rarely will others appreciate it as humility (those familiar with your abilities) and not view it as cowardice, or at best a lack of confidence. Pride often appears arrogant because people of lesser accomplishments become envious, and people of better accomplishments think less of them than you do. It’s very important not to appear too perfect, but it’s equally important not to seem spineless.

It’s quite another thing to be “prideful”and this is where the disconnect comes for a lot of AFCs, particularly ones with strong ego-investments in morality, chivalry, honor, etc. My old AFC self used to struggle with this as well. The AFC sublimates himself; he self-deprecates because he believes, erroneously, that this ideology will separate him from the herd, make him “not-like-other-guys”. He mistakenly believes that he’s unique in this when actually he’s in the majority. Why? For the answer all you need do is look at the most common threads from guys just recently discovering the community.

I have no doubt that there are some guys who go from zero to PUA and then parley that into some kind of seducer-hood. I would also argue that they are the rare exceptions. Guys don’t search out community forums or blogs like this because they’re getting too much pussy. They search it out because what they’ve been doing isn’t producing the results they want. When you think about this, they’ve been doing exactly what others criticize Game for – they’re working from a script. We like to point out the flaws in autonomously adhering to a script with regards to PUA techniques; you become a social robot, not “yourself”. But from an opposite side, what you’re doing now, or have done, as an AFC (Beta Game) is equally as scripted. The only difference, and far more insidious, is that they’ve internalized these AFC “scripts” that society on whole has conditioned into them as personal investments over the course of a lifetime.

After dropping your AFC mindset for a one based on self-interest, what happened? You probably began to see results. You can hook up with women the calibre of which were previously unavailable to you before, and all it took was replacing your chump behavior and mentality with one of self-concern and self-priority. You might’ve felt like an asshole, people may have said you’ve changed or become bitter, or you’re being someone you’re not, but you couldn’t argue with the results.

One of the biggest dangers of the PUA ideal is that it does nothing to address the root problem of AFCism (for lack of a better term). AFCs don’t want to stop being AFCs. Largely, they just want their ONEitis (or their “dream girl”) to hook up with them long term and then drift back into a comfortable ‘just being themselves’. According to The Game even Mystery, with all his PUA prowess, degenerates into a simpering, borderline suicidal chump when he realizes that his PUA scripts do nothing in an LTR with Katya (his ONEitis). The most notorious PUA in modern history was still an AFC, because he hadn’t killed that mentality, that AFC internalization – he hadn’t killed his inner AFC.

Another very common occurrence is the “reformed” AFC who makes progress toward becoming more Game savvy, and as a result gets his “dream girl”, only to lose her after reverting back into an AFC frame once he’s in an LTR with her. I’m not a big Ross Jefferies fan, but he did say something very profound once, he said “teaching PUA skills to these chumps is like giving dynamite to children.” This is probably truer than he realized, because the potential for disaster is much higher. Most guys want that silver bullet, the magic formula that will get them the girl, but it does nothing to prepare them for the idyllic LTR their beta nature has fantasized about for so very long. They don’t become Men, they become children with dynamite. So are we really surprised when the guy who finally gets his Dream Girl as a result of learning Game becomes despondent and suicidal when he loses the “best thing he’ll ever have” when she leaves him? Are we shocked when his ONEitis turns out to be a BPD girl and his life’s ambitions fall into a death-spiral because he was unprepared to deal with a post-Game LTR?

The problem with just employing PUA skills to get any woman is that sometimes it actually gets you ANY woman. There’s no vetting process, no discernment, taught as part of technique. AFCs get so impressed with their new found PUA confidence and getting hotter women, getting their old friend-zone girl interested, or getting women at all, that they have no motivation to think about who they should get involved with. They’re unprepared for emotionally manipulative women, and particularly when they’re more attractive than anything they’d ever had before. They obsess. They predictably get ONEitis, but they develop a ONEitis and in such an extreme case they can be suicidal about a woman they’d previously never been able to attain.

PUA skills are tools, and valuable ones at that, but adopting a positive masculine mindset prepares an AFC for more. An AFC needs to divorce himself from deep set social and psychological schemas – he needs to unlearn the self-delusions that a lifetime has conditioned him to internalize into his personality. Giving an AFC Game skills before this transition will only condemn him to disappointment and despair in an LTR. The more important lesson is learned in the discarding of that old, beta, way of thinking, while understanding the tools and techniques to apply the new, confident, positive masculine mindset.


28 responses to “Dream Girls and Children with Dynamite

  • Y

    That’s why I think the focus of most ‘Game’ teachers is completely wrong.

    Most of these average guys need to read Way of the Superior Man, and live that life… then they can start micro-managing their interactions.

  • cynical optimist

    @y
    that s a great book, never under estimate the effects of sexual polarity. A man’s mission is his priority, a number of prerequisites encased but she should be aligning herself to you and not the latter in many afc cases.

    I still find it hard to accept removing myself from the social conditioning, psychological indoctrination call it what u will from the final stages of the matrix it really is an ugly truth.

  • cynical optimist

    great blog, discovered from hawian libertine

  • theprivateman

    Far too much Game coaching is just veneer of behaviors painted on a rotting board.

    Frankly, a good Game mentor/teacher should direct 80% of his energies on Inner Game. Only when Inner Game mastery is achieved should the remaining 20% be taught.

  • Good Luck Chuck

    PUA skills are tools, and valuable ones at that, but adopting a positive masculine mindset prepares an AFC for more.

    I would expand on this by saying that the goal of every man should be to improve himself overall as a man. PUA techniques are nothing more than an imitation of the behaviors of a man who has wealth/status/power (body language, dominance) or shortcuts to making a woman believe that the man is high value (routines and patterns).

    BECOME that man and the world is your oyster. And you don’t have to become a multimillionaire. Most guys are so average that just being a little above average is a HUGE boost to your SMV. And aside from the benefits you will enjoy in the sexual market, being a well rounded guy will help you in EVERY aspect of life.

    Too many guys find game and think they have found the holy grail. On many levels I admire guys like Roosh who give the middle finger to American society and pursue their own interests as they see best, but how many guys will ultimately be satisfied living hand to mouth when they are in their 40’s and beyond?

    In the end it is all about balance. Spending your entire life building an empire that you will never be able to enjoy is not balance, but neither is chasing pussy to the detriment of everything else in life.

  • The Lightning Weasel

    You need to become a man before you can become a PUA?

  • xsplat

    I like to be a devils advocate on the subject of life’s mission, and being a better well rounded developed man versus focusing on being seductive.

    Some say focus on your life’s mission, and the women will follow – which is a twofer as compared to focusing on women. But that’s a lie. Plenty of people who focus on business or other interests do poorly with women.

    Some say that girls eventually are not satisfying to a man, and he needs other interests to keep his heart warm and his mind engaged. That’s partially true – a man should not rely on women for his intellectual needs. Other than that, if pussy is not satisfying, then the person has a mild case of depression, and can’t find satisfaction in anything. The attitude to life is wrong. Pussy is usually satisfying – humans are built to find it so, unless there is a pathology.

    We find meaning and satisfaction by making it so. People can find meaning and satisfaction in chess, tennis, or meditating by staring at a rug. We can also find it in relationship and pussy. You can make any endeavor interesting and meaningful, and go as deep into it as you care. Pussy and relationship are a fine life mission.

    Yes, you can focus on business, and then use money to get pussy. Or you can focus on pussy, and then use that to get money. However you structure your life doesn’t matter – the point is are you paying attention and getting enjoyment out of it? Are you positively affecting those around you?

  • johnnymilfquest

    “However you structure your life doesn’t matter – the point is are you paying attention and getting enjoyment out of it? Are you positively affecting those around you?”

    +1

  • Blues

    “Some say focus on your life’s mission, and the women will follow – which is a twofer as compared to focusing on women. But that’s a lie. Plenty of people who focus on business or other interests do poorly with women.”

    But how many of those succesful men have red pill knowledge? there lies the key IMO.

  • xsplat

    Yes, the ideal man will be an superman in all possible areas.

    But we have limited resources of time and attention. For me my life’s mission is simple. I want to be happy and healthy.

    However that works, works. I find pursuing and attaining intimacy with women works. I don’t understand why many people find this surprising or odd. It’s perfectly natural, and perfectly sustainable.

    No matter what you go deeply into can get deep. For sex you practice daoist inspired tantric chi-kung sex, informed by non-dual meditative insight. Pussy is not a shallow pursuit. For relationship you can explore the depths of love and romance and mind training and interpersonal intrigues. Relationship is not a shallow pursuit.

    Doing ANYTHING well makes you a person of deep abilities.

    No

  • xsplat

    That reply was meant to be to Blues, below.

  • deti

    Rollo, I see your point. But we all have to start somewhere. Usually that somewhere is to jolt the AFC out of his chumpitude. The fastest way to do that seems to be, according to some, to get him laid; then set about the business of replacing the rot of his life with new behaviors.

  • Dream Killers «

    [...] men I do consults with. No, what they want is just enough Game knowledge to connect with their Dream Girl and relax into a blissful beta cocoon of monogamy. They want to commit. Their lifetime AFC [...]

  • Is Game Adversarial? «

    [...] that men would rather see Game as some, often underdeveloped, expedient to getting with their Dream Girlthan to exact some revenge upon womankind. When they first become aware of Game, most chumps reject [...]

  • Kill the Beta «

    [...] social skills or they convinced themselves that PUArtistry was their easy magic formula to fuck the girl of their dreams, they tend to want to regress back into the comfortable shell of their former ignorance of [...]

  • Kill the Beta «

    [...] skills or they convinced themselves that PUArtistry was their easy magic formula to fuck the girl of their dreams, they tend to want to regress back into the comfortable shell of their former ignorance of [...]

  • Rake

    “Are we shocked when his ONEitis turns out to be a BPD girl and his life’s ambitions fall into a death-spiral because he was unprepared to deal with a post-Game LTR?

    AFCs get so impressed with their new found PUA confidence and getting hotter women, getting their old friend-zone girl interested, or getting women at all, that they have no motivation to think about who they should get involved with. They’re unprepared for emotionally manipulative women, and particularly when they’re more attractive than anything they’d ever had before. They obsess. They predictably get ONEitis, but they develop a ONEitis and in such an extreme case they can be suicidal about a woman they’d previously never been able to attain.”

    You just described the last 3 years of my life. I’m now rising from the ashes. Before it was 80-90% PUA technique and I’m lucky to be relatively unscathed thanks largely to a friend who’s a psychologist helping run intervention.

    Now I’m looking beyond the tactics. Much more is clearly needed.

  • Plate Theory VI: Abundance & Scarcity «

    [...] the AFC will use them to some degree of success up to the point that he finds his idealized “girl of his dreams” and launch into a self-destructive LTR because his idealization was based on juvenile [...]

  • Is Seduction Real? «

    [...] 4 recovering chumps I’ve personally counseled that aped the behavior well enough to get their “ONE” dream girl then crashed and burned in exactly the way I warned them they would because they never paused to [...]

  • Hypocrites & Little Emperors «

    [...] to fit their personal capacity to get with their ‘believable’ ONEitis girl who they just know is their perfect soul-mate. They’ll play the Game realistically and long enough insofar as it [...]

  • Year One «

    [...] Dream Girls & Children with Dynamite [...]

  • Factory

    The MRM is chewing on the other side of this apple, I think. There is a concept called ‘Zeta Masculinity’, which I take to mean a healthy interest in self, a varied and interesting life (to me), a refusal to be controlled by manipulation or coercion (as much as possible), a requirement that women be a net plus or they’re history – and myself, I believe a solid understanding of Game is required here….etc.

    Basically, somewhere between an MRA, a Traditionalist, and a PUA.

    Or at least, that’s my take on the concept.

  • Behovsbaserad maskulinitet | Yasers hörna

    [...] One of the biggest dangers of the PUA ideal is that it does nothing to address the root problem of AFCism (for lack of a better term). AFCs don’t want to stop being AFCs. Largely, they just want their ONEitis (or their “dream girl”) to hook up with them long term and then drift back into a comfortable ‘just being themselves’. According to The Game even Mystery, with all his PUA prowess, degenerates into a simpering, borderline suicidal chump when he realizes that his PUA scripts do nothing in an LTR with Katya (his ONEitis). The most notorious PUA in modern history was still an AFC, because he hadn’t killed that mentality, that AFC internalization – he hadn’t killed his inner AFC. [källa] [...]

  • The Evolution of Game |

    [...] Game was a wondrous tool set of skills, but without the insight and foresight to deal with what these tools could build, it was potentially like giving children dynamite. [...]

  • Intersexual Hierarchies – Part I |

    […] lies in his misdirected hope that a woman’s concept of love matches his own. His ideal is a beautiful girl that loves him the same way he loves her. The presumption (a romantic one perpetuated by the myth of egalitarian equalism) is that his […]

  • Purgatory |

    […] is usually followed by some plea for advice or a script to follow in order to finally get with the Girl of his Dreams®, and rationally and reasonably make her aware of how he measures up to everything on her […]

  • The Severing |

    […] they find that the only thing that posed to be a ‘plan’ to help them “get their girl” doesn’t work the way they’d hoped, the reaction is a hostile rejection of what […]

  • The Myth of the ‘Good’ Guy |

    […] out easily digestible answers to solve their ‘girl problems’. As I laid out in Dream Girls and Children with Dynamite, these guys wanted the tl;dr (too long; didn’t read) footnote version of what to do in […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 5,328 other followers

%d bloggers like this: