When I first began writing on SoSuave over a decade ago I used to get into what I consider now some fairly predictable arguments about monogamy. It was an interesting time since it was around then I was getting into some heated arguments in my behavioral psychology classes in college.
I had just written what would later become my essay, There is no One and a good majority of my classmates and all of my teachers but one were less than accepting of the theory. I anticipated most of the women in those classes would be upset – bear in mind this was around 2001-02 and the Red Pill was yet to be a thing – what I was surprised by was how many men became hostile by my having challenged the soulmate myth.
I got a lot of the same flack from women then that I get from uninitiated women when they read my work now; “Aren’t you married? Isn’t she your soulmate? Don’t you believe in love? You must’ve got burned pretty bad at some time Mr. Hateful.” Those were and are what I expect because they’re the easy subroutine responses a Blue Pill ego needs to protect itself with. There was a time I probably would’ve mouthed the same. That’s how the conditioning works; it provides us with what we think ought to be ‘obvious’ to anyone. And at the same time, we feel good for ‘defying the odds’ and believing in what we take for granted, or common sense.
This is how deep the subconscious need for assuring our genetic heritage goes. For women this assurance is about optimal Hypergamy, for men, it’s about assurances of paternity. In either case, we need to believe that we will reproduce, and so much so that we will attribute some supernatural influence to the process of doing so. The fulfillment of your own sexuality is nothing less than your battle for existence, and on some level, your subconscious understands this. Thus, for the more religious-minded it gets attributed to fate and faith, whereas for the more secular-minded it’s about the romanticized notion of a soulmate.
Monogamy & ONEitis
I contemplated the idea of ONEitis for a long time back then. I’d most certainly been through it more than once, even with the BPD ex-girlfriend. By then I understood first hand how the belief absorbs a Beta and how it is an essential element, effectively a religion, for a Blue Pill life experience. I didn’t realize it then, but I was maturing into a real valuation of myself and I had the benefit of some real-world experiences with the nature of women to interpret and contrast what I was learning then.
Honestly, I had never even encountered the term ‘ONEitis’ prior to my SoSuave forum days. I referred to the soulmate myth in my writing as best I could, but it wasn’t until (I suppose) Mystery had coined the term. Outside the ‘sphere people got genuinely upset with me when I defined it for them. Back then I attributed this to having their ego-investment challenged, and while that’s part of it, today I believe there’s more to it than this.
The old social contracts that constituted what I call the Old Set of Books meant a lot in respect to how the social orders prior to the sexual revolution were maintained. That structuring required an upbringing that taught men and women what their respective roles were, and those roles primarily centered on a lifetime arrangement of pair bonding.
It’s interesting to note that the popular theory amongst evolutionary anthropologists is that modern monogamous culture has only been around for just 1,000 years. Needless to say, it’s a very unpopular opinion that human beings are in fact predisposed to polyamory / polygyny and monogamy is a social adaptation (a necessary one) with the purpose of curbing the worst consequences of that nature. We want to believe that monogamy is our nature and our more feral impulses are spandrels and inconveniences to that nature. We like the sound of humans having evolved past our innate proclivities to the point that they are secondary rather than accepting them as fundamental parts of who we really are.
Women, in particular, are far more invested in promoting the idea of ‘natural’ monogamy since it is their sex that bears the cost of reproductive investments. Even the hint of men acknowledging their ‘selfish gene’ nature gets equated with a license to cheat on women. This is an interesting conflict for women who are increasingly accepting (if not outright flaunting) of Open Hypergamy.
I’ve attempted in past essays to address exactly this duplicity women have to rationalize with themselves. The Preventive Medicine book and posts outline the conflict and how women internalize and ‘hamsterize’ the need to be both Hypergamously selective, but to also prioritize long-term security at various stages of their lives. Ultimately a woman’s position on monogamy is ruled by how she balances her present Alpha Fucks with her future prospects of Beta Bucks.
Seed and Need
It might be that women would rather share a confirmed Alpha with other women than be saddled with a faithful Beta, but that’s not to say that necessity doesn’t eventually compel women to settle for monogamy with a dutiful Beta. In either respect, the onus of sustained, faithful monogamy is always a responsibility placed upon men. The indignation that comes from even the suspicions of a man’s “straying”, a wandering eye, or preplanned infidelity is one of the most delicious sensations a woman can feel. Women will create syndicated talk shows just to commiserate around that indignation.
But in an era when the likes of Sheryl Sandberg encourages women to fully embrace their Hypergamous natures and expects men to be equally accepting of it, it takes a lot of psychological gymnastics to reconcile the visceral feelings of infidelity with the foreknowledge that a less exciting Beta will be the only type of man who will calm her suspicions.
It’s important to also contrast this with the socialization efforts to make women both victims and blameless. As I mention in the last post, men who lack the appreciation of the necessity to prepare for a sustained monogamy with a woman are considered ‘kidults’ or prolonging their adolescence. They are shamed for not meeting women’s definition of being mature; that definition is always one that centers on the idea that men ought to center their lives around being better-than-deserved, faithful, monogamous potentials for women’s long-term security and parental investment.
On the other hand, women are never subject to any qualifications like this. In fact, they are held in higher regard for bucking the system and staying faithful to themselves by never marrying or even aborting children along the way to do so. So once again, we return to the socialization effort necessary to absolve women of the consequences that the conflict Hypergamy poses to them – they become both victims and blameless in confronting a monogamy they expect from men, but are somehow exempt from when it’s inconvenient.
Arguably, pair bonding has been a primary adaptation for us that has been species-beneficial. It’s fairly obvious that humans’ capacity for both intra- and inter-sexual cooperation has made us the apex species on the planet. However, the Feminine Imperative’s primary social impetus of making Hypergamy the defining order of (ideally) all cultures is in direct conflict with this human cooperativity. A new order of open Hypergamy, based on female primacy (and the equalist importance of the individual), subverts the need for pair bonding. There is no need for intersexual interdependence (complementarity) when women are socialized and lauded for being self-satisfying, self-sufficient individuals.
Add to this the conditioning of unaccountable victimhood and/or the inherent blamelessness of women and you get an idea of where our social order is heading.
Both sex’s evolved sexual strategies operate counter to the demands of pair bonded monogamy. For millennia we’ve adapted social mechanisms to buffer for it (marriage, male protectionism of women, etc.), but the cardinal rule of sexual strategies still informs these institutions and practices:
The Cardinal Rule of Sexual Strategies:
For one gender’s sexual strategy to succeed the other gender must compromise or abandon their own.
In this respect, it is men who are expected to make the greater compromise due to an evolved sense of uncertainty about paternity and the social mandate to accommodate women’s sexual strategy.
The counter to this is that women have always borne the responsibility of parental investment if they chose a father poorly (or didn’t choose), but in our post-sexual revolution social order, the consequences of this responsibility have been virtually eliminated. In fact, those consequences are now viewed as evidence of women’s independent strength.
Even aborting a child is a source of pride now.
Men bear the greater effect of compromising their sexual strategies to accommodate and resolve the strategy of women. When we account for the normalization of open Hypergamy, soft cuckoldry, and the legal resistance to paternity testing (ostensibly centering on the emotional wellbeing of the child in question) it is much clearer that men bear the most direct consequences for compromising their sexual imperatives.
From Warren Farrell’s book. Why Men are the Way They Are (h/t to SJF):
Why are men so afraid of commitment? Chapter 2 explained how most men’s primary fantasy is still, unfortunately, access to a number of beautiful women. For a man, commitment means giving up this fantasy. Most women’s primary fantasy is a relationship with one man who either provides economic security or is on his way to doing so (he has “potential”). For a woman, commitment to this type of man means achieving this fantasy. So commitment often means that a woman achieves her primary fantasy, while a man gives his up. — P.150
Men who “won’t commit” are often condemned for treating women as objects — hopping from one beautiful woman to the next. Many men hop. But the hopping is not necessarily objectifying. Men who “hop from one beautiful woman to another” are usually looking for what they could not find at the last hop: good communication, shared values, good chemistry. — P.153
The meaning of commitment changed for men between the mid-sixties and the mid-eighties. Commitment used to be the certain route to sex and love, and to someone to care for the children and the house and fulfill the “family man image.” Now men feel less as if they need to marry for sex; they are more aware that housework can be hired out and that restaurants serve meals; they are less trapped by family-man image motivation, including the feeling that they must have children. Increasingly, that leaves men’s main reason to commit the hope of a woman to love. — P.159
Dr. Farrell is still fundamentally trapped in a Blue Pill perspective because he still clings to the validity of the old order books/rules, and the willfully ignorant hope that women will rationally consider men’s sexual imperatives as being as valid as their own.
That said, Farrell’s was the germ of the idea I had for the Cardinal Rule of Sexual Strategies, he just didn’t go far enough because he was (and still is) stuck in Blue Pill idealistic hopes of monogamy. Bear in mind, Farrell’s book is based on his intrasexual understandings of everything leading up to its publication in 1986, however, this does give us some insight into how the old order evolved its approach to monogamy then into an open, socially accepted form of Hypergamy now.
He relies on the old trope that men are afraid of commitment by reasoning that men only want to fulfill a fantasy of unlimited access to unlimited sexuality – all shallow, all superficial, while women’s priority of commitment is correct, selfless, valid and blameless. Farrell also reveals his Blue Pill conditioning by making the presumption that men only Game women in the hope that they’ll find a unicorn, and they’re endlessly fucking women for no other reason than to find a woman with good communication, shared values, good chemistry, etc.
I sincerely doubt that even in the mid 8os this was the case for men not want to commit to a woman, or essentially compromise his sexual strategy to accommodate that of women’s. Farrell never came to terms with dual nature of women’s sexual strategy and how it motivates women over time because he believes men and women have, fundamentally, the same concept of love and mutually shared end-goals.
Mandates & Responses
In the decades since this publication, the normalization and legal mandates that ensure men will (by force if necessary) comply with this compromise is something I doubt Farrell could’ve ever predicted. Legal aspects, social aspects, that used to be a source of women stigmatization about this compromise have all been swept away or normalized, if not converted to some redefined source of supposed strength. Abortion rights, single parenting (almost exclusively the domain of women), postponing birth, careerism, freezing women’s eggs, sperm banks, never-marrying, body fat acceptance and many more aspects are all accepted in the name of strong independence® for women.
Virtually anything that might’ve been a source of regret, shame, or stigmatization in the old order is dismissed or repurposed to elevate women, but what most men never grasp (certainly not Dr. Farrell) is that all of these normalizations were and are potential downsides to a woman’s Hypergamous decisions.
MGTOW/PUA/ The Red Pill, are all the deductive responses to this normalization, but also, they’re a response to the proposition of the compromise that the Cardinal Rule of Sexual Strategies presents to men in today’s sexual marketplace.
In all of these ‘movements’ the fundamental, central truth is that they all run counter to the presumption that men must compromise (or abandon) their sexual imperatives – long or short term. Thus, these ideologies and praxeologies have the effect of challenging or removing some of the total control of Hypergamy women now have mandated to them. Even just the concepts of MGTOW/PUA/TRP are equatable to removing this control.
However, it is still undeniable that there is a necessity for monogamy (even if it’s just temporary) or some iteration of pair bonding that ensures men and women raise healthier, stronger, better-developed children. We are still social animals and, despite what equalism espouses, we are different yet complementary and interdependent with one another. Mutual cooperation, tribalism, monogamy and even small-scale polygamy have been beneficial social adaptations for us.
Gynocentrism and the respondent efforts against it defeat this complementary cooperative need.
Gynocentrism / egalitarianism defeat this cooperation in its insistence that equalism, self-apart independence, and homogeny ought to be society’s collective mental point of origin in place of the application of differing strengths to differing weaknesses.
So we come to an impasse then. It’s likely it will require a traumatic social event to reset or redefine the terms of our present social contract to ever make monogamy a worthwhile compromise for men again. We can also contrast this ‘raw deal’ compromise against the Cardinal Rule of Relationships: In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least. It’s easy to think women simply have no need of men when their long-term security is virtually assured today, but fem-centrism goes beyond just separating the sexes by need. It wasn’t enough to just separate male and female cooperation, fem-centrism has made men’s compromise so bad that they must be made to despise their sex altogether. Men had to be made not only to accept their downside compromise but to feel ashamed for even thinking not to.
[…] The Cardinal Rule of Sexual Strategies […]
As Farrell’s ideas sparked an idea in you, combining with what you’d seen around you, so your There Is No One essay put words to a conclusion I was arriving at just before discovering your blog (and that article came a scant few months before I wandered in). Now I had coherent thought to attach to my coalescing ideas, couched in some very lucid and reasonable (even rational, one might say) words. That simple reassurance that I was on the right track has meant a lot in the past few years. I’ve nothing to add to the discussion, really, except… Read more »
[…] The Cardinal Rule of Sexual Strategies […]
Women live in what appears to be mental quantum states where the embody opposing elements at different times. This has most likely always been the case, however it has been much less overt than it is in present day. If we go back 250 years, I have no doubt that women were just as hypergamous, however nature necessitated less activity. The downside of the cock carousel for women was the risk it posed to the ability to settle down with a dutiful beta. If we go back no more than 50 – 60 years with less developed contraceptives, no abortion,… Read more »
Perhaps monogamy is only about 1,000 years old because before then, young men died at a very high rate do to intertribal conflicts. Young men were the protectors of their society. Polygamy is required under those conditions. A society that could not maximize the production of cannon fodder was at an increased risk of being rubbed out by those societies that could.
My conclusion 2 years after taking the red pill, and seeing it’s truths reflected in the behavior of and interactions with female friends, colleagues and family members, including my wife and mother:
All women, no exception, are lying manipulating, self-centered, disloyal cheating whores. Every single one. They only differ in their place on bell curve of each of these traits, but this is what defines them. I’ve used this knowledge to my advantage both in my personal and professional life. What a relief it has been to learn this.
I wonder sometimes how much of this is just our civilization coddling us to the point where most people lose a taste for doing hard things. Creating a serially monogamous circumstance is natural and easy for a woman to do, and she can use it to key into the dominant cultural narrative that pretends lifelong monogamy still exists in a meaningful fashion. But a serially monogamous relationship is NOT natural for a man from the beginning. This makes it hard for him to do. As such, a great deal of energy needs to be spent conditioning him to do it… Read more »
They cannot be changed, they can only he controlled, up to a point. Religion, social rules, Patriarchy were all invented to control female sexuality, in that the feminists are right. But this I of course a good thing from the male perspective and from the perspective of wider civilization. As much as I appreciate and use Game, the contemporary approach to control and benefit from female sexuality, I don’t see how it makes for a robust cohesive society. The sugar babies post made me realize: The end state of unchecked female sexuality and feminism is a society of hookers and… Read more »
Rollo, I’m curious to know is there a female blogger like yourself out there that agrees with your view point and writes on similar red pill praxeology? I appreciate the truth you share and I know you read the sentiments enough times but it’s rough and lonesome living in the real world in which 90% of people it seems willfully ignore the truths you share…most women are like clueless clones, blinded by solipsism and almost no way to break through. Where do guys even find the motivation to love and makes sacrifices for them? By the way Rollo please e-mail… Read more »
@JAFYK, the closest female blogger that I can think of is Stingray. She’s on my sidebar.
“…most women are like clueless clones, blinded by solipsism and almost no way to break through. Where do guys even find the motivation to love and makes sacrifices for them?”
You cannot use Red Pill knowledge to achieve Blue Pill goals.
there are medical solutions that remove all risk of the female choice to fully engage her sexual strategy of AF/BB.
…except the whole infertility thingie.
The impasse gets more severe as you focus on younger demographics. For all the caterwauling about the Frat Boy Louts and Lad Culture, today’s college and high school men are now the Soft Boyss. They have truly absorbed the Open Hypergamy Blue Pill praxeology as a way of life. The Sandbergians do not comprehend how fully they have achieved what is likely to be a long-lasting victory. Now they have the men they claimed to want: sweet-tempered Soft Boy SNAG’s who will not approach and will not ask for dates because it is uncouth, and besides they might get expelled… Read more »
kfg: “…most women are like clueless clones, blinded by solipsism and almost no way to break through. Where do guys even find the motivation to love and makes sacrifices for them?” You cannot use Red Pill knowledge to achieve Blue Pill goals. JAFYK assumes that men ought to love idealistically, which isn’t realistic. Men must love in a way that benefits them…protect their children, their mate(s), keep their options open…”love the one you’re with” Men must not expect women to think and behave like men…JAFYK assumes that men can only love women who aren’t solipsistic or “clueless” according to men’s… Read more »
@Matatan All women, no exception, are lying manipulating, self-centered, disloyal cheating whores. Every single one. They only differ in their place on bell curve of each of these traits I mean, dogs will shit all over the floor if you don’t train them not to. Men fight and kill each other all the time. You can look at the situation of women as “Man, look at all these WHORES. Fuck you.” Or you can understand what their nature is like, and how things work from their perspective. A woman doesn’t go “I’m going to go take that dude’s dick up… Read more »
July 29th, 2016 at 1:39 pm
Of course sex is a mystical process if you do it right. OTOH such mystical process can be had with any woman.
July 29th, 2016 at 1:54 pm
You can beat that by finding a girl with ONEitis for you. You keep her on her toes by constantly reminding her you have options.
July 29th, 2016 at 3:14 pm
I don’t know any who are writing but my first GF taught me the rudiments of game. After a few years hanging out here I realize how rare that is – a female who understands her own psychology. That was back in ’62. Funny enough I was one of her plates. None the less the lessons were worth the price.
The core directive of Hypergamy is this: reproductive optimization. Women want kids the way men want sex. A barren woman is conceptually similar to a castrated man in this respect. How women go about getting prime seed(to make kids) and resources( to raise said kids) is wholly dependent on the social and economic environment she’s in. The social environment of The First Set of Books meant she had to marry to have kids,so that’s what women did. They didn’t do so because of some internal instinct for monogamy, any more then I have an internal instinct for paperwork when I… Read more »
Men who “hop from one beautiful woman to another” are usually looking for what they could not find at the last hop: good communication, shared values, good chemistry. Wrong – men are doing that because they can. The only chemistry I’m interested in is what takes place from the moment I slide my cock into her till I blow my load. Then it’s time to go look for the next one. I’ve been doing that since I was a teenager, and now at more than 50 I’ve had to change my strategy a bit, but the goal is the same.… Read more »
Interesting concept. I did the 4F thing when I was younger. Although it was a lot of fun, I’m not sure that I can say that I was happy. I was happy when I was in a LTR, but that changed after she did. At this point I’d probably enjoy taking the 4F route again,
Whoops, hit reply by accident… To finish my thought, although it might be fun, i have the sense that it might not make me feel happy.
“So we come to an impasse then. It’s likely it will require a traumatic social event to reset or redefine the terms of our present social contract to ever make monogamy a worthwhile compromise for men again.” I heartily agree. I don’t see how this will resolve peacefully. At some point the opposing sides in this conflict will refuse to stand down on some issue and they’ll finally have it out. The mentality by then will be “Damn be him that first cries, ‘Hold enough!'” My only hope is that this event happens sooner rather than later so we can… Read more »
Judgy Bitch is still gynocentric. And she’d NEVER advocate guys being jobless bums fucking top shelf sluts for lulz.
“A woman doesn’t go “I’m going to go take that dude’s dick up my ass and then eat the shit off his dick JUST to piss off little beta jimmy over there.”
I stopped reading your text wall at this point because you don’t know what the fuck you are talking about. I have met plenty of women are exactly like that. Seriously dude, you need to get out more often.
what is the delta between this and
@Just Saying Warren Farrell was selling something anachronistic: Blue Pill sexual strategy. And Rollo was indicting him for that old, first set of books seen through a blue pill lens, while saying thanks dude for planting a seed of thought in him, Rollo. Farrell was trying to advocate for balancing mans/womens sexual strategy. Playing “fair” and going along willingly. That balance couldn’t possibly work for men going forward in the new world disorder, down the road. And we all know how that balance is now in 2016. Farrell was aware of men’s motivations, but didn’t know that real, actual Hypergamy… Read more »
“Farrell posits that men and women need to make an evolutionary shift ”
Aaaaand, you can stop reading right there.
Wow Rollo, it seems you are changing lately and coming around to what I’ve thought for awhile on things. Indeed: “For one gender’s sexual strategy to succeed the other gender must compromise or abandon their own.” Followed by the obvious conclusion that Gynocentrism has won this round and redefined the rules (second set of books) to favor them. Followed by “It’s likely it will require a traumatic social event to reset or redefine the terms of our present social contract to ever make monogamy a worthwhile compromise for men again.” So let me say … agreed. The obvious solution, of… Read more »
@Rocket, you really haven’t read much of what I write have you?
One quick follow up: actually women and their attitudes towards the fake Alphas isn’t so different from men’s … assuming we controlled the narrative. From a guys perspective … if you could define the perfect woman wouldn’t it be something like: a Victoria’s Secret Model … who lets me fuck her whenever I want, and likes to go to the local pub and drink beer with me and is a rabid fan of the same sports team that I root for !!! Basically .. the object of my sexual desire who thinks and act like me. That’s what the Sphere… Read more »
if you could define the perfect woman wouldn’t it be something like: a Victoria’s Secret Model … who lets me fuck her whenever I want, and likes to go to the local pub and drink beer with me and is a rabid fan of the same sports team that I root for !!! Basically .. the object of my sexual desire who thinks and act like me. well if you think and act like a beta… you think that a women lets you fuck her… and most of your issues flow from that kind of thinking… To be fair… at… Read more »
nice pix btw (as always), emily was talking about having tried for MFM twice, in between calling Red Pill a cancer
@Craig “A woman doesn’t go “I’m going to go take that dude’s dick up my ass and then eat the shit off his dick JUST to piss off little beta jimmy over there.” I stopped reading your text wall at this point because you don’t know what the fuck you are talking about. I have met plenty of women are exactly like that. Seriously dude, you need to get out more often. Yes yes. Late the hate flow through you lol Because every woman every second of every day is plotting and scheming to ruin men’s lives. The ONLY reason… Read more »
Judgy Bitch is still gynocentric. And she’d NEVER advocate guys being jobless bums fucking top shelf sluts for lulz.
Oh yeah. Totally. Hence why I said “she’s still a chick, lol. No girl is ever going to be 100% on board with this stuff. She’s just one I’ve read in the past who was very roughly in the ballpark.
Rollo, yes, I have. Agree with most of it. You just haven’t figured out yet that what the Sphere calls “Alpha” is really a FATTY who diets, pretends to like sports and has her “friends” coach her on what guys want. She’s really a 5 but thru her efforts … seems like an 8. Guy’s fucking love an 8 !!! Soon as the “faux Secret’s Model” gets a guy … she loses touch with the diet, gets fat, and forgets about sports because she has “got” her guy and then falls back into being “entitled”. And soon after … she… Read more »
alpha regrets…? No. For me, now, I’m in the fashion business and look back very fondly on those years. I was really special. I knew it the night after I lost my virginity to David Bowie, when I went to see his concert at Long Beach Arena. It was still the Spiders from Mars tour, and, literally, the night that he became a star. But he had the spotlight shined on Lee Childers [Bowie’s publicist], Sable, and I, sitting in the audience. That’s when he thanked me for being there. Who cares what people said about me? I feel like… Read more »
And by the rules redrawn I mean a few things. Like abolish alimony. Abolish child support. Soon as children are awarded to the father and women have to pay for children they don’t get to see … that will change. And a huge one: a child is the property of the father … not the mother. Change that. And Rape laws obviously. If a woman accuses a man of Rape … let HER name be published in the local news and who she accuses is held secret. If the case is not proven … THE WOMAN GETS THE SENTENCE THE… Read more »
” But I have a solution to stop it all. To stop both men and women from cheating .. change the Domestic Violence laws. Make it legal for a man to beat his wife if she cheats. Have it go all the way to the supreme court and make it the law of the land. If a woman cheats … her man gets to beat the crap out of her, break her nose, knock out 3 teeth and shove a baseball bat up her vagina”
I died laughing then thought about how much of a loser you are.
Blue Pill and religious people are just bad at mathematics. Believing in Fate is just stupid.
All what you are saying reminds me of notorious John Conway’s Free Will Theorem.
July 29th, 2016 at 5:49 pm
Feminism like communism is not going to be easily fixed. It took 70 years of disasters to fix communism. Feminism is not going to be fixed by changing a few minds.
The first disaster is already under way. The birth rate is below replacement.
We have basement boys “doing their own thing”.
What will follow is economic decline. And the wars that go with that.
July 29th, 2016 at 6:37 pm
Killing pigs? There is a reason for that. And it is not complicated.
July 29th, 2016 at 7:23 pm
You want a job? You do the work.
You want representation in the next generation? You do the work.
But I do like your attitude. Because MORE FOR ME.
@hank holliday The problem is that society teaches (nay demands men believe) that women are far more noble and virtuous than they really are. It is understandable that a lot of men become bitter and disillusioned when the truth finally dawns on them and they realize they have been lied to all their lives. Instead of mocking people with ‘oh you poor little pathetic betaboy bitch’, it would be a hell of a lot more constructive to say ‘you are in pain as your world of bullshit and delusions you have been fed since a child is disintegrating. Let’s help… Read more »
As I have progressed career wise, I come across men and due to the banter that I get involved with, I always come across a different point of view from them than the one that I have… There is no feeling of control left in these men, it seems to have completely disappeared. They feel as a servant to the whims of their current woman. If she cheats they then feel devastated and have no idea how to move on, other than do and hope that the next one will be better. Men have disassociated with themselves as having any… Read more »
It is probably the case that historically monogamy emerged as a concession to lower status males during times when their contributions to society were needed. In polygamous societies, the majority of lower status males have little stake in society and thus little incentive to contribute. Monogamy is a kind of concession by women and alpha males to lower status males when the need arises. The reason genuine monogamy is in decline and society is embracing de facto polygamy and open hypergamy is that during times of economic surplus, it is a lot easier to throw lower status males under the… Read more »
“Gynocentrism and the respondent efforts against it defeat this complementary cooperative need”
If the respondent efforts against gynocentrism (including TRP, which I believe you support) defeat the complementary cooperative need (which I believe you also support), doesn’t that create kind of a controversy? Are you suggesting something other than TRP as a better response to gynocentrism? Or am I not getting this right?
I did a lot of research a long time ago. The true nature of our sexual interactions is variable according to historical evidence and biological evidence.
Read here: http://www.nikochoski.com/2016/07/30/sexual-relationships/
“Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the comedian is the only thing that makes sense.”
– Edward Blake
I like that, and variations
“Once you realize what a fuck up everything is, being the fucker is the only thing that makes sense.”
It seems to me (so I would like to know if I am wrong), that:
A while back, it was thought that if a man was alpha, strong frame, game, fit, 12 levels of dread, and a boatload of other criteria, then he could successfully reproduce and raise his kids.
The current thinking is women are going to be women, which is more realistic but results in a quandary on any strategy for having and raising kids
And it isn’t all roses for girls. As soon as you hit puberty, you are at your peak. And then, before you know it, you hit the wall and psssh. All your great sexual experiences are behind you. You now have to get by on something other than your looks, but unlike, say, Steve in accounting, you can’t really get any better. The average girl hits puberty around 13-14. Guys will start hitting on her when she’s 15-16. Her fertility and beauty peaks roughly at 21-22. It starts declining at roughly 27, and the decline accelerates after about 35. She… Read more »
“Farrell posits that men and women need to make an evolutionary shift ”
“Aaaaand, you can stop reading right there.”
lol, it’s easy, just think clean thoughts…
“It wasn’t enough to just separate male and female cooperation, fem-centrism has made men’s compromise so bad that they must be made to despise their sex altogether. Men had to be made not only to accept their downside compromise but to feel ashamed for even thinking not to.”
This ties together a lot of the concepts and ideas for me very nicely.
I’m not really buying the whole “some catastrophic event will force a reset of society and everything will become better”. No, shit will just get worse and worse. And not suddenly. More like frogs in boiling water. Family law from a man’s perspective will not improve. Although fewer and fewer men will want to marry, there’ll always be enough fools signing up to this sentence. Family law will naturally move on from “marriage” to common law or de facto relationships; it’ll probably get to the point where you’re fucked the moment you move in and live with a woman, because… Read more »
Niko, I notice that even guys who have many of the external things like money, they wear trendy shit, they drive a nice car, they work out etc, the man has no dominant frame. This happens often.
I call them “blue pill alpha”. Or the “meat cow”.
It’s like he fails with women it’s cuz he didn’t have enough stuff.
Have you made a video about gaining and maintaining frame? I bet you have, so I’ll look for it.
But if you haven’t, please make one. And when are having another hang out?
A child doesn’t write all over the walls with permanent marker to go “Haha. Take THAT parents.” The kid goes “Oooh. I love to draw. I love fuzzy bunnies. So I am going to draw fuzzy bunnies ALL OVER THE WALL. Yay fuzzy bunnies.”
It’s normal for children and teenagers to do things solely to spite their parents, elders, teachers. They do that all the time.
“Roman Republic’s “bachelor tax””
see video on Brutus in comments of last thread, was no longer a republic at that point
@ Hank Holiday, I get what you were trying to say in your post and believe it to be true to an extent but there is a definite darkness to female nature that is undeniable IMO (just get into a relationship with a BPD woman or grow up with a stepmother or observe your female siblings or coworkers, etc., etc.). There is just NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. To be fair though, I think it comes out THE MOST on men that they perceive as being or acting “weak” and/or “beta” in some way or instance. I wonder if it’s some… Read more »
IM MAXIM #45: “Women are Machiavellian as water is wet.”
Never forget it.
I’m not really buying the whole “some catastrophic event will force a reset of society and everything will become better”. No, shit will just get worse and worse. And not suddenly. More like frogs in boiling water. There are historical precedents for catastrophic resets. Consider the Bronze Age Collapse, or the collapse of the Western Roman Empire, when minting, for example, has disappeared all over present-day Western Europe for centuries, the method for producing concrete was forgotten for more than a millennium, and cities were depopulated because agricultural production went into disarray and urban populations couldn’t be fed anymore. That’s… Read more »
The CDC tells us about the most common cause of PID (chlamydia), which can cause infertility in women (120k new cases per year in the US)… Most people who have chlamydia have no symptoms. If you do have symptoms, they may not appear until several weeks after you have sex with an infected partner. Even when chlamydia causes no symptoms, it can damage your reproductive system. tl;dr most women who have a disease which can make them infertile show no symptoms http://www.cdc.gov/std/chlamydia/stdfact-chlamydia.htm More text from the CDC for your reading pleasure…lol How can I reduce my risk of getting PID?… Read more »
Girls are very aware of their own sexual strategies and how they categorize guys they meet. One of my plates describes guys in one of her special interest classes as “non sexual” and “the teacher’s pet”. Her very blunt description is spot on when I met the guy and he was desperately trying to please every girl in the room but was regarded as “the mascot”. A 22 year old HB9 I was gaming 7 months back said she divided guys into “lover” and “boyfriend/husband”. She said a boyfriend could also be a lover but was very clear. She didn’t… Read more »
Family law will naturally move on from “marriage” to common law or de facto relationships; it’ll probably get to the point where you’re fucked the moment you move in and live with a woman, because she will be able claim she thought it would be “forever” after just a month. And given ageing Western populations, don’t think the government would prefer to financially maintain a woman when some man (or rather, patsy) can do so instead. I can definitely see that happening. Something like this is already rule of the land in British Columbia: “An unmarried couple who have lived… Read more »
@Colbert I don’t know if it is an innate darkness to female nature or if it just natural survival instincts that have become unbalanced and pathological in time. Women have evolved to be more manipulative and dishonest than men for the simple fact that, in evolutionary terms, they needed something to compensate for being physically weaker and more vulnerable. If you go back to times where life was generally nasty, brutish and short, if you had the misfortune of being born as a member of the physically weaker sex in such an environment then it is more than understandable that… Read more »
They might just bring in harsher child-support payments coupled with the outlawing of paternity testing. A mere accusation will probably become enough to prove paternity (apparently, the Russian model is already like this).
In France and Germany, paternity testing is only permitted with the written consent of the mother, or so I’ve heard.
“So we come to an impasse then. It’s likely it will require a traumatic social event to reset or redefine the terms of our present social contract to ever make monogamy a worthwhile compromise for men again. We can also contrast this ‘raw deal’ compromise against the Cardinal Rule of Relationships: In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least. It’s easy to think women simply have no need of men when their long-term security is virtually assured today, but fem-centrism goes beyond just separating the sexes by need. It wasn’t… Read more »
After absorbing this red pill and crumbling the walls in my mind, overcoming the belief that even a wife isn’t on my team and that a man I am the only support I can expect, I decided to try out some of the theory: Yeah, you want this, but I want a blow job. Somewhat surprised that wifey didn’t flinch at trading sex…. another piece confirmed. Yeah, you want x but I know I can’t make a deal with you where you get the benefits up front and pay off sometime later… no explosions of don’t you trust me? Just,… Read more »
The thing is that most women are energy vampires by nature. Hence the term ‘vamp’, which comes from vampire. They can only survive by consuming surplus male energy. Feminism is a vast societal form of this energy vampirism. This is one of those concepts which once you understand, you think ‘aha. Now much of life makes sense’. This partly explains the paradox that women often display a greater level of ingroup bias and cooperation than men do, and yet at the same time are often in bitter conflict with each other. For example, conflict between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law or between… Read more »
This energy vampirism largely explains why women have a need to beta-ize their men. Why, for example, you have mothers that feel the need to turn their sons into pathetic, simpering, useless mommies boys that no woman would have the slightest interest in. That way they are assured of an uninterrupted supply of energy that they can have for themselves, without the risk of it being taken by another woman. One of the best things you can ever do in terms of building confidence with women is to put as much distance as possible between yourself and mothers, sisters and… Read more »
@Hoellenhund, “Or female office workers get laid off en masse.” I wonder if this is kind of starting to happen. Microsoft held a massive culling about 2-3 years ago of 13,000. I’m from the area and wondered at the time if they had to do that in order to simply disguise the fact that they needed to lay off about 4 or 5 thousand human resource donut-eaters who make 95K a year making power point presentations on why rape is wrong or something. In order to lay off that many donut-eaters they had to cull at least twice as many… Read more »
@ Misanthropist, Spot on – and i agree with you. It’s just the way we (they) evolved. The superior “alphas” just seem to get that truth easier then the “betas” with the “beta” mindset probably from having red pill “alpha” fathers to raise and teach them about female nature. I find Mr. Jones from the Men’s Resource Organization on You Tube to be an interesting character. He is not homosexual but appears to have the natural genetic solipsistic mental wiring of a woman or that of a homosexual male and therefore is one of those rare HETEROSEXUAL males who just… Read more »
Energy vampires and tasty morsels – love that! It definitely resonates with my own experiences. Thank you for that! 🙂 ………. and hey, it’s nothing personal. It just is what it is.
A fool there was and he made his prayer (Even as you or I!) To a rag and a bone and a hank of hair, (We called her the woman who did not care), But the fool he called her his lady fair– (Even as you or I!) Oh, the years we waste and the tears we waste, And the work of our head and hand Belong to the woman who did not know (And now we know that she never could know) And did not understand! A fool there was and his goods he spent, (Even as you or… Read more »
Their solipsism doesn’t allow them to know (how very convenient but true) – great poem.
I’d think twice about wishing for an economic collapse. If there’s a such a collapse, our bluepill biased society means men will bear the brunt of the losses: just like they did in the last recession. Bluepill managers and female HR departments will ensure women are retained over men even if it means the destruction of the company. So ,more betas will be laid off, which in turn means more divorced men as the improvised Betabux’s get left by their women seeking new providers. This means things will get worse , not better.Instead of women submitting out of an economic… Read more »
@Colbert Thanks. The biggest problem is that few men really understand female psychology. In relation to homosexual males, it is not hard to see why a lot of women are attracted to homosexual men. Homosexual men typically have the same solipsism and self-centredness of women, but without the slightest sexual interest in women (and thus her pussy has no power over him). What’s not to love about that if you are a woman? I have noticed also that it is usually the women who are the biggest cunts that go ga-ga over the most obviously faggoty males. What you say… Read more »
As I’ve grown older and matured in my beliefs I see a lot of duality in things. The infinite versus the finite, light versus dark, Yin versus Yang, opportunistic conditional love versus unconditional idealistic love and so on and so forth. It only makes sense to me that there would be a polarity of light and dark between male and female natures. The universe seeks a balance. Does that mean that individual women are evil and individual men are good? I would say of course not – just there natures on Matatan’s bell curve of traits.
Blog PSA: My posting/commenting will be a bit sporadic in the coming week or two as I’m dealing with what will soon be the death of the man I mentioned in this post:
Not long after my night with Bowie, I got a call from some guy saying he was Jimmy Page. I knew it was a prank phone call. Led Zeppelin was the biggest rock band in the world. Why would Jimmy be calling me at home? But then, a couple of weeks later, Sable and I were at Iggy’s place where we found out that Led Zeppelin was staying at the Hyatt House. They had the entire ninth floor. On the way over, Sable said to me, “You keep your hands off Jimmy. If you touch him, I will shoot you.… Read more »
Sorry to hear about your friend.
“So ,more betas will be laid off, which in turn means more divorced men as the improvised Betabux’s get left by their women seeking new providers.”
As confirmed in recent research:
(discussion of this on r/TheRedPill as Bloomberg is censoring a lot of comments)
Regards Rollo it is my hope that we will find peace on the other side of this life.
@ wala Too many Blue Pill guys are limited by their own beliefs. I keep finding myself falling for women’s deceptions and doing my own backsliding into The Blue Pill. Case 1: 22 y.o. married woman I know who put on a sweet, innocent face goes dancing solo, showing lots of midriff, husband working at night, and she gets in my grill while we are dancing and chatting…never saw her showing much skin at a country bar where we met…I realize now that she was looking for BB prospects, so she dressed conservatively. Case 2: I misread signals in a… Read more »
Someone says that an alpha is a fatty who exercises. heheheeee… NOT. An alpha is not necessarily fucked up in he head either. Most alphas don’t even realize it, but they somehow know what the girls want and they dish it out freely. And it is not just about the sex. The girls want to take a ride with him. Girls will have a crush on a guy even in elementary school before she even knows what sex is. There is something about that boy that makes the girls drawn to him. A girl sees him go and she walks… Read more »
“MGTOW/PUA/ The Red Pill, are all the deductive responses to this normalization, but also, they’re a response to the proposition of the compromise that the Cardinal Rule of Sexual Strategies presents to men in today’s sexual marketplace. In all of these ‘movements’ the fundamental, central truth is that they all run counter to the presumption that men”
…that men what? Sentence fragment.
Sent from my iPhone
He isn’t talking about natural alphas. He’s insulting PUAs, calling them gammas LARPing at being James Bond to get a girlfriend.
The concept of alpha is not easy to define, but one can safely say it is not a fatty who exercises. But when you run into alpha, you know it.
While many traits can be added, I’ve found these three to be irreducible:
Dynamic, Passionate & Authentic
The Alpha Triad.
The concept of alpha is not easy to define, but one can safely say it is not a fatty who exercises. But when you run into alpha, you know it.
while many traits can be added, i’ve found these to be irreducible – Dynamic, Passionate and Authentic. The Alpha Triad.
@adsgamer You have to assume she’s giving an IOI unless proven otherwise.
Also, girls will give IOI’s based on a stimulus. Then you have to act on it or force an IOI from her and then act on it.
I’m long-gaming a few girls. I spike an IOI, then leave. Spike then leave. Remember girls are like cats….you can always pick up where you left off. Try to leave off on a place of mystery.
So he is dissing the PUAs because they decide to tone their alpha up and help other men to do the same? It is the choice of every alpha to keep the alpha up or to tone it down (or turn it off altogether). If an alpha willingly tones down his alpha, that is his funeral. Minimal sympathies. I believe PUAs are mostly trying to help alphas who have unwittingly been tricked into toning their alpha down or into turning it off.
Off topic So, just to offer some closure on my comments in the previous article and to not come off as a suave PUA (which I’m not) – A followup to previous description of my supper date which was preceded with 2 hours of great sex (well, for me anyways) was accurate. Funny thing though, was 2 days later I was ghosted and I finally was told I was dumped for being too old (57 she’s 39). My online dating profile puts me at 44 just to get by the filters. I tell my dates my true age on the… Read more »
The impasse gets more severe as you focus on younger demographics. For all the caterwauling about the Frat Boy Louts and Lad Culture, today’s college and high school men are now the Soft Boyss. They have truly absorbed the Open Hypergamy Blue Pill praxeology as a way of life. The Sandbergians do not comprehend how fully they have achieved what is likely to be a long-lasting victory. Western societies will soon reach a point where all men who had any direct knowledge and experience of pre-feminist social norms are all dead. The boys currently growing up don’t even know anyone… Read more »
(messy formatting follows in response to Redlight and XD) @redlight July 30th, 2016 at 3:34 am “A while back, it was thought that if a man was alpha, strong frame, game, fit, 12 levels of dread, and a boatload of other criteria, then he could successfully reproduce and raise his kids. The current thinking is women are going to be women, which is more realistic but results in a quandary on any strategy for having and raising kids.” Your first sentence was the old set of books. Men didn’t know any better so they were working on survival and replication.… Read more »
@wala You have to assume she’s giving an IOI unless proven otherwise. My problem is that my autism kicks in when a girl gives an unexpected signal and I get cornfuzed, lol. So, I figure it out the next day. I have to figure out some way to focus when a girl gives an unexpected signal…or maybe just expect all girls to give IOIs when I’m around. Girls are masters of deception, especially at appearing to be “good girls”. Part of what I need to do is not be taken in by girls’ deception and that should help me avoid… Read more »
“Girls will have a crush on a guy even in elementary school before she even knows what sex is. There is something about that boy that makes the girls drawn to him.” agree. I had my first girlfriend in fifth grade. I remember going to my grandparents house for thanksgiving dinner and my mom outing me and my entire family making fun of me. our first date was hilarious. I went to her house. We hung around outside, just walking around. neither of us knew what to do but we both wanted to be there. the next year we were… Read more »
“A while back, it was thought that if a man was alpha, strong frame, game, fit, 12 levels of dread, and a boatload of other criteria” … was the old set of books
Red Pill terms are not that old, and Blue Pill Prof’s book is recent. My question is not about what occurred a decade ago, but if the Red Pill has given up on fatherhood. In particular what are you going to tell your son, find a unicorn?
Sincere condolences. Stay strong.
In particular what are you going to tell your son, find a unicorn?
Son: Have hand… never lose it. Men lead, women follow. Have her busy with children. Stay at home wife and mother. Keep your game on point, and keep exploring your options. Pursue the Platinum Rule…
@Rollo Sorry to hear it. @fleezer “Ya would say my subcomms were solid. lol. how does a guy have good subcomms before he’s blown his first load? being the last one standing in bombartment? lol.” Yes. Just like kids playing and winning at sports and shit are more likely to carry themselves well and move with confidence etc. Plus your “competition” was fifth graders, you didn’t have to do much to have better subcomms than the herd. But hey, maybe you’re right, I’m crazy and really body language only starts to exist once you blow a load. There’s absolutely no… Read more »
Male/female sexual relationship is an instance of, what game theorists (in the economics sense) call, a prisoner’s dilemma. In a prisoners dilemma, you have 2 options: cooperate or defect. If both cooperate, then both receive a minimal reward. If both defect, both lose. These are the 2 “Nash Equilibria”. What’s interesting is when 1 cooperates and the other defects: the defector gets all of the spoils when the cooperator loses entirely. In a 1-off instance of a prisoners dilemma, where you’re never to interact with the other player again, the rational thing to do is defect. However, in an iterated… Read more »