Memento Mori

sjfrellc hit me with this question from Monday’s post:

Rollo, what are your real “feelings” about this blue pill guy. Are you surprised that you couldn’t peer counsel him to come around to your perspective? Or are you frustrated that the Blue Pill Feminine Imperative and social conventions are like a black hole and sucked him in and wouldn’t let go?

Lets just be clear about something I’m not sure I’ve ever addressed before, I never expect any guy to come to a Red Pill perspective. I’m thankful guys find this blog, I’m glad I can help and my book and writing here is accessible, but I don’t expect men to accept any of it. If I expect anything it’s that the vast majority of men will resist even a passing reference to anything counter to their Blue Pill conditioning like a cornered animal. Most men are completely inured and dependent on an intergender social system and a set of rules they’ve been raised to believe is fair (if not grossly weighted in their own favor) and women are abiding by. They believe that contenting and satisfying a woman’s sexual strategy is a realizable life success.

I’ve always said unplugging guys from the Matrix is like triage, but this man was like reading last rites to a guy 10 years ago only to find out he hasn’t died yet. It’s no secret that I’ve personally known a man who hung himself and two more who swallowed bullets as a direct result of their inability to come to terms with their shattered hopes of an ideal Blue Pill life. It’s one thing to have men commit suicide because their ONEitis fears of losing “the best girl they’d ever get” leave them, but it’s quite another to watch a similar man waste away to the end of his life still grasping for the hope that in the last half hour of his life that Blue Pill goal might be realized if he’s only good enough.

I never expected him to unplug even then, but to see the guy still grasping at Blue Pill ideals because he utterly has no other frame of reference put the totality of a Blue Pill existence into perspective for me. I’m all about guys spinning plates, enjoying more and better sex with them or their wives, and certainly about adopting an Alpha mindset and behaviors that facilitate doing that, but it’s important to also remember that the importance of a Red Pill awareness has much broader implications. It can literally save your life.

Anyone wondering why I have a problem with purple pill advocates pandering to the sensibilities of their majority female readership (i.e. clients) by encouraging Blue Pill half-measures to men’s lives should keep that in mind.

When you become Red Pill aware you become more conscious of how the conditioning of a Blue Pill mindset predisposes men to frustration because Blue Pill idealism is really unattainable by design. You also become aware of how dangerous that frustration has the potential to be for men who can neither handle the Red Pill truth nor the constant measuring and failure to achieve Blue Pill goal-states he’s been conditioned to believe are attainable, and other men have.

That frustration can be dangerous to both himself and others, but that’s in the now. Precious few men in the ‘sphere consider the long-term consequences of the life of a man immersed in Blue Pill idealism, responsibility and promises that keep him grinding on until he’s reached the end of his usefulness to the Feminine Imperative.

“He was never much of a man…”

Since I started writing on SoSuave, and especially more now that I’ve detailed Open Hypergamy, I’ve had many guys relate a similar story about how their grandmother, mother or mother-in-law had just openly told him or his wife that her husband was never “much of a man”.

These women are all in their late 70s to early 80s and it’s like at that point all bets are off and what do they really have to lose by letting their daughters and granddaughters in on grandma’s words of warning about “settling” on a man? I’ve even had women readers relate how their own mothers confessed that there was a “just part of her she just could never share with a man like her father.”

These Alpha Widow confessions usually came after her husband was in the ground or had been delivered to the assisted living facility and too far gone to really register the gravity of her real estimate of him after living the better part of her life with him. The guys who relate these stories to me are Red Pill aware so their jaws dropping came with a little knowing expectation, but imagine how the Blue Pill husband of the daughter of one of these elderly women must process that confession. What mental contortions does a man need to do to fit that information into a Blue Pill mindset?

I think when a woman has nothing to really lose by copping to it is when they’re most comfortable with Open Hypergamy. This same comfort is becoming more common for younger women due to the social and personal security they’re ‘entitled’ to now, but for women who don’t really feel that security has solidified until their golden years this admonition and confession of Open Hypergamy almost seems like a relief to them. A relief in the hope that they’ve warned their daughters or granddaughters to opt for monogamy with an exciting Alpha lover/husband (no matter how perceptual) rather than regretting the ‘safe bet’ she made by settling on her Plan B man, her Beta-dependable husband she conveniently ‘found’ in her Epiphany Phase.

As women age towards their later years the urgency to warn younger generations of the sisterhood about the results of their hypergamous life decisions becomes more pressing. To be sure there’s a degree of desire to live vicariously through their daughter’s and granddaughter’s experiences, but more so this confession is for their own need of closure – a final coming clean about what was really influencing those past decisions and living (or not) with them. There comes a point when admitting the ugly truth feels better than worrying over keeping up the pretense of concern.

Far too many Blue Pill men (even young men) are terrified of living the life of the lonely old man. They imagine that if they don’t comply with the Feminine Imperative’s preset relational context of women that they’ll live lives of quiet desperation. I outlined this in the Myth of the Lonely Old Man – the threat point is one where men are encouraged to believe that if they don’t comply with women’s relational primacy they’ll endure a life of decaying loneliness into old age, unloved and devoid of children who’ll comfort them bedside as they peacefully pass into the next life.

What these Blue Pill men fail to realize is this is simply one more part of the feminine-primary fantasy they’re condition for. Do a Google image search for “end of life issues”, see all of those pictures of grandpa holding hands with wife and family in a clean comforting hospice bed saying his last goodbyes before he passes on? That advertising is the Blue Pill fantasy. In all likelihood you’ll die in an elderly care home, from lung fluid buildup, in the middle of the night with no one around or a complete stranger in the bed next to you. I understand that’s a depressing thought, but the truth of it is you’ll really have no influence in deciding how you’re going out at that stage, and hopefully that wakes you up about living a Blue Pill existence based on fear, compliance and appeasement till death do you part.

Put that into perspective with a man who wakes up to his conditions.

Die Alpha

Now before I get the predictable “not with my grandpa” stories, let me just say that you’ve got to put the generational differences into perspective.

When I published Empathy I figured I’d get some backlash from women in the oversimplified binaries I’ve come to expect. So before those same sputterings arise let me unequivocally footnote here that women are absolutely capable of a learned empathy and sympathy for men. However those sympathies, like genuine desire, cannot be negotiated for. Whatever your misguided concept is about how Relational Equity should merit a woman’s sympathy or respect, those are only valid and genuine when a woman freely gives them to a man she perceives as Alpha, never as something he’s due.

In every story you’ll hear about how the wife, kids and grandkids gathered around the family patriarch in the hours before he passed, understand that he was in all likelihood a respected dominant Alpha for most of his life. I want to add a bit of balance to the Blue Pill elderly I described this week, so let me also say I’ve known a handful of Men who died Alpha. These are the Men for whom a widow and his kids honor his memory once a year. They go to the gravesite because he was worth the cost of putting him in the ground instead of a cheap cremation.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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M Simon
Guest

I just signed off with the fm tonight with “I need to find another woman to make you hot for me.” — “It doesn’t work anything like they taught you in girl’s school, does it?.” (I have been RPing her) She: “No it doesn’t”

Is This Thing On?
Guest
Is This Thing On?

The problem with unplugging guys from the FI driven matrix is that the blue pill dream isn’t really unreasonable. It’s just unrealistic. It’s easy to hold on to that fantasy simply because it really isn’t too much to ask. It’s just never going to happen.

Badpainter
Guest

Is This Thing On – “It’s easy to hold on to that fantasy simply because it really isn’t too much to ask.” But it is “too much to ask” because the fantasy assumes women are something other than what they are. The fantasy assumes reasonableness, and reciprocity neither of which exist in women as primary traits. The fantasy assumes you’re a person to her, an independent agent with human qualities. It assumes collaboration, cooperation, complimentarity, and even negotiation. None of which exist. The reality is adversarial if not hostile, andif you’re not the master then you’re the slave. At best… Read more »

GeneralBangz
Guest
GeneralBangz

Can we ban M Simon from this blog I have true fears he is mentally deranged.

LiveFearless
Guest

“Die Alpha… a woman’s sympathy or respect, those are only valid and genuine when a woman freely gives them to a man she perceives as Alpha”~Rollo Tomassi Alpha must be a constant… a habit as consistent and frequent as breathing. That Man never loses frame. From Frame Iron Rule of Tomassi #1 Frame is everything. Always be aware of the subconscious balance of who’s frame in which you are operating. Always control the Frame, but resist giving the impression that you are… frame is not power… frame is who’s ‘reality’ in which you choose to operate in… Frame is fluid… Read more »

tsotha
Guest
tsotha

What mental contortions does a man need to do to fit that information into a Blue Pill mindset? Easy. He thinks “Well, she’s from a different generation. My wife isn’t like that.” I think the generational excuse is the go-to excuse for blue pill guys. “Things are different now. A man can’t expect to find a wife who’s been bedded by less than 20 guys.” “Things are different now. A strong man lets his wife spend the day with her tatted up biker ex, because in our generation relationships are all about trust. Not like the old days.” “Things are… Read more »

tsotha
Guest
tsotha

Incidentally, am I alone in not giving a tinker’s damn about what happens to my body after I’m dead? Or who remembers me? Are we animists, that we think our soul will last only as long as people remember us? If the Christians are right God doesn’t care if you remember me. If the atheists are right, none of it matters anyway.

SD1786
Guest
SD1786

This post offered an intriguing glimpse at the dichotomy between mental reactions to the red pill. At one end, we have suicide. I would argue these men experienced the red pill, but their brain simply couldn’t handle its new reality, so it popped. This makes me wonder if an experience in itself is what compels a man to eat the licorice, or if it’s the knowledge derived from an experience that delivers the wish to be deep-sixed. At the other end, we have the protracted defeat. The blue pill ’til deathbed elders exemplify an instance where suicide is never considered,… Read more »

SFC Ton
Guest

I’ve had two troopers eat a gun. Both because they couldn’t deal with their wife whoring around while they were down range. One called his whore…. I mean wife and shot himself while arguing with her on the cellphone. People said oh what a poor girl to have a hateful man do that to her. If the army really gave a fuck about about troopers killing themselves they would sew wives vaginas shut while the men are down range. Or bar married men from service. And make training more brutal to weed out the week but mostly sew vaginas shut.… Read more »

gregg
Guest
gregg

“every story you’ll hear about how the wife, kids and grandkids gathered around the family patriarch in the hours before he passed, understand that he was in all likelihood a respected dominant Alpha for most of his life.” For hundres of years we played the stupid game – who is better nice guy and provider, ´cos, ehm…we were told that, yes, this is what women wanted. Now we play another stupid, numb game – who is better aplha, cos…ehm, it is obvious that now women want this. If women tomorrow want us to shit our pants every morning as a… Read more »

Jetxo
Guest
Jetxo

Nice post Rollo, Yes I am realizing how hard is to provide redpill advice to other men. Two years ago I was in the same spot. I remember very well the day when I could not deal with the cognitive dissonance any longer. I finnally splited up with my Borderline gf and was having some beers with my new flatmate on the roof of its Barcelona apartment. This guy that fucked his share of women, he is a poacher and will go for any chance, he was telling me how he fucked many married women, engaged, with boyfriends, etc. I… Read more »

Leiff
Guest
Leiff

Concur with Badpainter. Blue pill fantasy is silk purses and sows ears. Not going to happen. A fraud being perpetrated on men for the benefit others.

M Simon
Guest

GeneralBangz February 20th, 2015 at 2:57 am Why do you think I’m deranged? I have been schooling the fm on RP since I started going with her 40 years ago. She is to the point where she actually likes it as opposed to fighting with me about it. And why does she like RP treatment? It gives her vtingles. She does complain about having to change her panties too often. So there is that. But compared to the other women in her age cohort she feels she is doing way above average in the sex and relationship dept. My point?… Read more »

theasdgamer
Guest

@ Gregg

Now we play another stupid, numb game – who is better aplha, cos…ehm, it is obvious that now women want this.

Some people find biology so offensive. Non-reproduction of the unfit.

M Simon
Guest

gregg February 20th, 2015 at 6:35 am Better slaves to the FI? That is one way of looking at it. But if you want family, children, then you are in reality a slave to them. Keeping the woman in line is just part of providing for them. Children were a conscious decision on my part. What is gratifying to me is that your attitude is less likely to be represented in the next generation. All three of my boys are RP. The daughter? Well she rebels at the very thought. Amusing. But she knows. I expect her to wake up… Read more »

M Simon
Guest

theasdgamer
February 20th, 2015 at 8:01 am

Much more succinct than my 8:13 am It bears repeating:

Non-reproduction of the unfit.

God Damn You Cypher
Guest
God Damn You Cypher

What is “RP” again? I read the book but I can’t remember for the life of me what it could be abbreviating. Role Play???

God Damn You Cypher
Guest
God Damn You Cypher

Oh wait……Red Pill? So in this instance it means they understand what really purchases intersexual connection for them and maintains it for their own sake or let it rot away at their own peril. Right, thanks.

theasdgamer
Guest

M Simon Thank you. Elegance is desirable. And alpha. I unexpectedly found myself bonded to a married broad who gamed me by dancing with me a lot. This created oxytocin in me and she was continually doing stuff to get me to look at her (like playing with her hair) so that I would bond to her. She wouldn’t chat with me much so her game caught me by surprise. Likely wanted to avoid platonic complications and just wanted to bang. I now have to avoid her for a few months until I get over the addiction. Loading...

Bromeo
Guest
Bromeo

The longer a man waits to take the RP the harder and more dangerous it becomes. If your in your 20’s and 30’s, its probably the prime time to accept RP tenants, but when your in your 40’s and 50’s, especially if your married with kids, its too late. You have literally spent half your life in the matrix, you will die during triage.

Matatan
Guest
Matatan

” Bromeo on February 20, 2015 at 8:55 am The longer a man waits to take the RP the harder and more dangerous it becomes. If your in your 20’s and 30’s, its probably the prime time to accept RP tenants, but when your in your 40’s and 50’s, especially if your married with kids, its too late. ” That’s bull. Of course the younger you become RP aware the better, but becoming RP aware at 45 is better then dying blue pill. Sure, I can’t undo the beta stuff I did in years past, but I can stop repeating… Read more »

Nathan
Guest
Nathan

Men idealize womenbc she is his new god.

The idiots that left their religion substituted one god for God.

Nature abhors a vacuum

thedeti
Guest

“I never expect any guy to come to a Red Pill perspective. **** I don’t expect men to accept any of it. If I expect anything it’s that the vast majority of men will resist even a passing reference to anything counter to their Blue Pill conditioning like a cornered animal.” Currently, most men learn of RP perspectives because something happened in their lives to get them there. Most men get here because there was an event that shook them to their very cores. For most, it’s that ‘good wife’ in his “ok” marriage blindsiding him with divorce papers and… Read more »

BigAl
Guest
BigAl

Something else that had me thinking, are women really even capable of mourning? All this loyalty and hypergamy stuff started to make me wonder if its all just a big show…

M Simon
Guest

Note my comment here:

http://discussion.theguardian.com/comment-permalink/47838440

Then note the rest. Fascinating.

Is This Thing On?
Guest
Is This Thing On?

I think they mourne their loss. If a man who is providing either her AF or BB needs, and he suddenly dies, then they feel the vacume and are sad because of the loss. I have no idea if they actually feel empathy for the dead.

thedeti
Guest

• “the fantasy assumes women are something other than what they are. The fantasy assumes reasonableness, and reciprocity neither of which exist in women as primary traits. • “The fantasy assumes you’re a person to her, an independent agent with human qualities. It assumes collaboration, cooperation, complimentarity, and even negotiation. None of which exist. The reality is adversarial if not hostile, andif you’re not the master then you’re the slave. “At best you’re a thing of depreciating value. And unlike those shoes that were worn once and kept forever, you will be disposed of when you’re no longer fashionable.” All… Read more »

Atticus
Guest
Atticus

Bromeo on February 20, 2015 at 8:55 am The longer a man waits to take the RP the harder and more dangerous it becomes. If your in your 20’s and 30’s, its probably the prime time to accept RP tenants, but when your in your 40’s and 50’s, especially if your married with kids, its too late. ” You’re wrong on this. The difficulty with swallowing the RP in your 40’s and 50’s is when you look backwards. If only I knew this shit before; how different my life would’ve been. When you look forward, the RP is empowering. The… Read more »

Jetxo
Guest
Jetxo

Thedeti February 20th, 2015 at 10:18 am “I think the hardest part of unplugging and the thing that most men struggle with is learning to live for yourself. After a lifetime of serving others: your country, your parents, your kids, your wife, your boss, your church; it’s hard to figure out what you want. There is no plan. Everything you’ve been “trained” for is gone.” Spot on. After a period of adjustment this is where I am now, it is finally working out but to be honest this was the hardest part for me, Getting sex with hb´s was comparatively… Read more »

girlwithadragonflytattoo
Guest

“The fantasy assumes you’re a person to her, an independent agent with human qualities. It assumes collaboration, cooperation, complimentarity, and even negotiation. None of which exist.” From a beta perspective, this is true. For a man that she actually respects (alpha qualities), it changes everything in how a woman relates to a man. Respect changes everything. Badpainter, honestly, why continue thinking in a scarcity mentality that it’s unattainable (or that only an elite few attain it). The reality is that men don’t want to see that they can change things for themselves… they’d rather blame women for being innately hypergamous… Read more »

Atticus
Guest
Atticus

@girlwithadragonflytattoo: “The reality is that men don’t want to see that they can change things for themselves… they’d rather blame women for being innately hypergamous than do the hard work of being a man she’d respect.”

Pre-RP i would’ve agreed with this. Now I just laugh. Enough chuckling though, I have to get back to the hard work of being man women can respect.

girlwithadragonflytattoo
Guest

Yes… Belle de Jour. Or Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina.

Atticus
Guest
Atticus

Your point is escaping me. Are you saying you’re putting in the hard work to be a woman men can respect? If so, you may want to choose a better role model than Anna Karenina.

The Lone Planet
Guest
The Lone Planet

From one cage into another.

[All the world is jails and churches]

Badpainter
Guest

@ girlwithdragonflytatoo I get it. It’s all my fault. Here’s the problem with your point if view: nothing I, or any man, can do will be enough to buy/earn your respect. If we seek that we will not get it. So my life must be built without consideration for your kind, or for your kind’s feelings. I either will or will not be worthy of whatever it is y’all have to offer. Frankly at this point I don’t care if I qualify. Since y’all won’t be around to help in the building process then I am less than impressed when… Read more »

Forge the Sky
Guest
Forge the Sky

The heart of all this is: in a woman’s mind, humans have three genders. Women, alphas, and betas. The problem is, it’s difficult to distinguish between the latter two as there are no clear biological markers; a few un-fakeable traits like height and muscularity give an indication, similar to how long hair tends to indicate a woman, but not infallibly so. But women have different relationships with them. To women, betas are friends, helpers, co-workers, employees, servants; unless related by blood, they are practical beings only. There is no romance to them. They are useful, fun, maybe even someone to… Read more »

Ang Aamer
Guest

@girlwithadragonflytattoo: “The reality is that men don’t want to see that they can change things for themselves… they’d rather blame women for being innately hypergamous than do the hard work of being a man she’d respect.” agree with those here (and rollo) it’s binary either FI/Hypergamy is hardwired into Females or it is not. Since at Rollo’s place we all accept the Red Pill and it’s full implications… your statements are not helpful. Bad advice given with noble intentions is still bad advice. I “could” be nice and give condescending responses that you are a “good girl” for point a… Read more »

Augustus
Guest
Augustus

Like some of the guys here, I took the red pill later in life ( age 53). I can attest to the fact the it takes a long time to fully embrace the red pill philosophy and to kill your inner beta. I’m still working on removing the beta from life support at age 57. Beta he may be, but he’s a tenacious SOB.

Something about this post reminded me of an old Supertramp song. Check out the lyrics:

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/s/supertramp/take+the+long+way+home_20133849.html

Ang Aamer
Guest

Great post Rollo, I enjoyed it. The first Red Pill experience I ever had was I High School. A friend of mine had a Dad who lost his well paying job in the oil industry. His dad was out of work for over a year (industry downturn no jobs). His wife (my friends mom) served the dad with papers right after Christmas… lovely lady she was. Anyway this lesson sunk deep with me. At that moment I realized that a woman’s ‘love’ is conditional. And no silly thing like Marriage will stand in the way of a woman exercising her… Read more »

sgtted
Guest
sgtted

They believe that contenting and satisfying a woman’s sexual strategy is a realizable life success. One doesn’t even need a RP frame to critique that BP assumption about having a happy, satisfying life through external means. Mentally ill people search for external things to make them internally happy. The science shows that it isn’t possible. No one else can “make” you happy, but yourself. The BP “Happy wife = happy life” construct is a fatally flawed viewpoint that seeks inner happiness through external things, which is impossible. Anybody that seeks externalities to “make themselves happy” is most likely mentally ill… Read more »

sgtted
Guest
sgtted

Any woman looking for a man to “make her happy” is a mentally ill person to be avoided at all costs.

Atticus
Guest
Atticus

Somehow women always manage to derail the train of thought (I know I participated). I am really curious how the 40-50+ guys have dealt with the lack of a mission after unplugging from the FI. Jetxo said above it was the hardest part for him. Work doesn’t mean so much anymore. I already beat everyone I golf with and I don’t want a motorcycle.

sgtted
Guest
sgtted

I already beat everyone I golf with and I don’t want a motorcycle.

Enter golfing tournaments and find others that CAN beat you and play against them. “Lack of mission” comes down to being an internal problem seeking an external solution.

thedeti
Guest

Dragonfly: YOu need to realize that this: “The reality is that men don’t want to see that they can change things for themselves… they’d rather blame women for being innately hypergamous than do the hard work of being a man she’d respect.” translates to this: “You all HATE women. You are all just bitter losers who can’t get laid. You should have chosen better women. It’s your fault for not ‘just getting it’. You should have been able to figure it out all on your own, with no help from anyone.” Moreover, there’s no reason why any man should do… Read more »

10x10
Guest
10x10

Rollo, You keep referring to the “feminine imperative” as if feminism is somehow independent of Leftism. It is not. Also, you keep describing in detail how the “feminine imperative” wants to condition “men”. That is incomplete. The “feminine imperative”, ie the Left, does not want to just condition “men”. No. It wants to condition WHITE MEN. That is the ultimate target of its actions. There is no separating “sex realism” from “race realism”. This attempt by Manosphere bloggers to just deal with feminism as if it were independent from the Left’s broader war against white, non-leftist, traditionalist culture is futile… Read more »

Atticus
Guest
Atticus

@sgtted “Lack of mission” comes down to being an internal problem seeking an external solution.

I’m not sure I understand that. If I zone out and meditate all day, is that internal or external? My point was 50 years of blue pill/FI conditioning sucks, but it does have the benefit of giving your life purpose. What do you do when the purpose is gone? I get that the purpose was shit (except for my kids), but what?

Hobbes
Guest
Hobbes

I think Gregg makes a very salient point that everyone seems really intent on glossing over. The dance to be “alpha” can be as much of a trap as the dance to be a “better beta”. As Rollo says, the man who works for her respect automatically loses it. I know people will answer that they don’t alpha up for her, but for themselves, but I would wager that is as often a lie we tell ourselves in order to achieve some form of internal consistency. It’s like women who get breast implants and diet religiously who then say “I… Read more »

Augustus
Guest
Augustus

Atticus, I understand what you’re talking about. I know one mission I still have is being a good father to my grown kids (ages 25 and 22). They still want my ear and my advice. Agreed on the work thing. It’s just a way to make money but I derive no fulfillment from it. So I try to maximize the money I make and minimize the time and effort. Which leads back to a mission and purpose for myself only. I’m revisiting desires and interests that I never fully developed as a young man. So, in some ways I’m starting… Read more »

Sun Wukong
Guest
Sun Wukong

@Rollo Thanks for continuing to refuse to get sucked in to the left/right dichotomy that infests the rest of the manosphere. While politics are a tool of the FI, they are not the FI. Like any other special interest group, feminists will use whichever party furthers their goals at the moment regardless of that party’s other policies. I would really appreciate if the ‘sphere in general would get the political chest beating out of their head and focus on the problem at hand, but the vast majority of the place devolves in to ranting against “leftists”, “Marxists”, and in extreme… Read more »

Bromeo
Guest
Bromeo

“Pussy is a byproduct of Alpha, not its purpose – you know that, all women know that.”

Great quote.

Atticus
Guest
Atticus

@augustus “Perhaps not a “life mission”, but things I’m interested in just for me.” I know. I in the last year I’ve run a Tough Mudder, bought a bike and did a 100 mile overnight. I already lifted, but I doubled down and got to 11% body fat. Hell, I took guitar lessons (my Mom) for 6 years when I was young; but hadn’t played in 35 years, I bought one and have practiced every day for six months. My son’s friends came over when I was playing and said “wow” you’re really good. Nothing seems enough though. Banging chicks… Read more »

SFC Ton
Guest

I am 44 & my mission statement has never changed; make the world my bitch, but what I don’t understand is not wanting a motorcycle…..

Make yourself, being a sovereign man and your quality of life your mission.

Not giving a flyingfuck about women is a great way to be knee deep in pussy. Throw in some light hearted chauvinism and it’s on.

Badpainter
Guest

Re: mission It turns out I’ve always had a mission. I have until recently been distracted, at least mentally, by the blue pill need to find an “approved” mission that would please others. In short I seek to be a Great Painter, and a more productive sculptor (I am already pretty good at that), pursue my various geeky interests without shame or need of external approval. Now I just need to find a way to monetize that and all will be right with my world. If that attracts women fine, if not no great loss. What I won’t do is… Read more »

Bromeo
Guest
Bromeo

So when females grow and mature during their 20’s, get smarter and are able to better understand themselves more in terms of how beta’s and alphas operate, obviously by getting pumped and dumped by alphas and friend zoning beta orbiters. Then wouldn’t they all avoid alphas all together in their late 20’s or epiphany phase and actively hunt beta’s to settle down with because its guaranteed provider ship and very low risk? Does that basically mean the alpha would need to let beta traits slip up in order to game this age group, and if you want to stay alpha… Read more »

CrabRangoon
Guest
CrabRangoon

These end of life posts have been great Rollo-something many MGTOW guys like myself think about from time to time. I’ve always maintained that the fantasy of having all your loved ones gathered around your bedside during your last breaths is simply that, a fantasy. Most all of us will die alone as you described. Everyone in my family that has passed has ended this way. Some during the night in nursing facilities, some just at home. It’s another make believe vision that people use to enforce the “lonely old man” myth you’ve also talked about. Thanks for the great… Read more »

Sun Wukong
Guest
Sun Wukong

@bp

I don’t know if you’ve ever posted any of your work here, but I’d be interested in seeing it.

Sun Wukong
Guest
Sun Wukong

@Bromeo

All women are vulnerable to alpha. The epiphany phase occurs specifically because alphas tend to have a particular age range since that’s where most women are their most attractive. The epiphany phase occurs because a woman’s attention from alphas begins to fall off. She will still take one in a heartbeat if the opportunity presents itself, no matter how old she is.

bradford
Guest
bradford

@Atticus For those here who are Christians, learn to serve God in some capacity. This should be our focus in life anyway. When we do this the rest falls into place and we store up eternal rewards. Part of the BP man’s problem is that he has focused on serving his wife/family/country instead of following the course he was created for; serving and glorifying God. I know this from my own bitter experience. This was Adam’s sin. He listened to and deferred to/served Eve rather than serving/obeying God. We were created to serve, but we must serve the right master… Read more »

Atticus
Guest
Atticus

Alright Ton. If you can break your buddy from beta, then maybe I need to rethink the motorcycle thing. I ridden one three times in my life and wrecked it or crashed every time. I always thinks I’m better than I am. That’s been a blessing and a curse.

kuchak
Guest
kuchak

sgtted:

“The BP “Happy wife = happy life” construct is a fatally flawed viewpoint that seeks inner happiness through external things, which is impossible.”

Man, I would hear that spouted all the time by co-workers, like it was Newton’s Law of Gravity or something. It would always make me wince.

Atticus
Guest
Atticus

Bradford. I appreciate your comments and I understand. As a Roman Catholic (never missed mass for my first 44 years) that did nothing for me. We now have a communist, Islamo appeasing pope, nancy boy Pope. Enough. If God’s out there, he checked out of this planet a long time ago. Serving God is not what it’s all cracked up to be.

Hobbes
Guest
Hobbes

On Missions- I have struggles with that as well. But just a thought I chew on: sometimes I wonder if this whole mission thing is not just part of the FI training. Women are huge on the whole “work as life fulfilling” crap. Every woman I know has this philosophy that work is their purpose, etc. It’s a very Oprah concept that work will be the center and crux of their lives. Which makes sense since most women, like Oprah, will never marry. I wonder if being RP and coming to the conclusion that we are probably not going down… Read more »

Atticus
Guest
Atticus

@Hobbes I think, traditionally, men have had missions that were always a response to necessity. War, profit, religion- if you look, you realize that men rose to these things and took on “missions” because they had to. The world imposed it on them, survival, nature etc. That makes sense. But what gets you out of bed, ready to kick the world’s ass everyday? Used to be taking care of the family, but I did that. I have more money than I need (half as much as I used to), but don’t know what to do with it. I’ll eventually figure… Read more »

anon
Guest
anon

“If I expect anything it’s that the vast majority of men will resist even a passing reference to anything counter to their Blue Pill conditioning like a cornered animal.” This. I have a blue pill “conservative” friend who’s even a natural alpha with women, and even he is so far down the matrix on things like feminism. He’s naturally charming and does well with women (so he lacks any incentive to have any bitterness, admittedly), but he does not come close to understanding women or the reason for his success. He staunchly defends leftist ideas like socialism, sees no racial… Read more »

anon
Guest
anon

Another on point post, and yes, of course, the generational difference is key. Gen X men–at every stage of our lives–have not enjoyed what “Greatest Generation/WWII” generation (our grandfathers) had. Yes of course, most of us will die alone at age 83 without a loving woman with us, and many without children. These betas (I have several friends in this category) are involuntarily childless; they cannot find a woman to marry them and give them children. Other things my grandfather got that Gen X usually does not get: that loving women who held his hand as he took his last… Read more »

anon
Guest
anon

10X10 great comment. Some of us get it. We are trying to figure out what to do. YKW has so much power right now. They control the media, government, banking, money, law, business, and now even our (former) right to free speech. See the founder of javascript, who was forced out because he gave a few dollars of political speech money in his own time to a cause that was agreed with by 65% of voters, marriage is one man/one woman. A normal white male cannot even express normal views using his real name without risking his livelihood. Loading...

Hobbes
Guest
Hobbes

@atticus- well thats it, isn’t it? Men were designed to find and create the family and then that was the mission until death- his family. The crisis now is that either men never marry because they realize women are not worth it, or they get married -inevitably divorced- then even family becomes a sort of side project- it matters, but it isn’t a mission anymore. So here we are trying to figure out a mission, where there is none to be had. What gets me up in the morning excited? nothing. I get up, and get stuff done, and try… Read more »

Dr. Jeremy
Guest

It is particularly difficult to get a man to change his belief system when he is faced with actual, or potential, death. This is outlined in something called Terror Management Theory. Essentially, to guard against the fear of our mortality, we develop symbolic worldviews to give our lives meaning, direction, and purpose. When we are reminded of that mortality, we “double down” on believing in that worldview, as a way of finding meaning in how we have used our limited life time, and attaining a sense of symbolic immortality in that process. Given that, a man with a blue pill… Read more »

sgtted
Guest
sgtted

What do you do when the purpose is gone? Find another one. Keep searching until you do. One that makes you happy, as opposed to someone else. You mentioned you have relearned the guitar and are impressive. Take that to the next level and find a band; playing solo is fun but playing with a good group is 10X (or more) the fun. I’m retired from the two main missions of my younger life: the Military and raising kids to be solid adults. Now I’m focusing on those things that I put aside to do so. I’m now running a… Read more »

girlwithadragonflytattoo
Guest

@Badpainter – “So my life must be built without consideration for your kind, or for your kind’s feelings. I either will or will not be worthy of whatever it is y’all have to offer. Frankly at this point I don’t care if I qualify. Since y’all won’t be around to help in the building process then I am less than impressed when y’all want to benefit from my creation when it’s finished. I might just get your respect but you will forever have lost mine, as well my ability to give much of a damn about y’all as people.” Yes,… Read more »

sgtted
Guest
sgtted

I guess my mission now is learning to be my own master, to be truly mentally free from the confines of BP and societal expectation.. to become my own center of reference. This is key. Externalities won’t do the job. So now, so ingrained is this pattern of thinking established in us, that we feel empty when we simply think of waking up in the morning, playing golf, fishing, working out, traveling etc etc. It’s not enough to simply enjoy our lives because we’ve been taught that we have to be more than that. If you have a “service” itch… Read more »

Sun Wukong
Guest
Sun Wukong

@Dr J Good to see ya, man. I actually ran right up against what you’re talking about when I first came out to my mother about abandoning religion. She’s got an extremely high iq (higher than mine) and can occasionally be convinced by rational arguments showing logically sound points. I had come to my decision at 23 through the same logical process I later learned Epicurus had. It is a very logical disproof of the gods proposed by basically all modern religion. She saw it, understood it, and accepted that it was reasonable. I could tell that she suddenly realized… Read more »

Not Born This Morning
Guest
Not Born This Morning

Rollo,

Thank you for “sticking to your guns”. You really have a solid pit bull grip on it and your ability to explain the truth from different angles is excellent. Your revelations have true integrity. The net results of peoples behavior and comments prove that.

For just a few bucks, a man can read your work and if he is really paying attention and is honest with himself the results are priceless. Just being aware changes everything and there is no slipping back into the muck. We live only once. No man should pass this up.

sjfrellc
Guest
sjfrellc

” ……I’ve known a handful of Men who died Alpha. These are the Men for whom a widow and his kids honor his memory once a year.” My mother was overjoyed my father died in his sleep 13 days ago. He was only in bad mental shape for less than a week before. It was their wedding anniversary. It was also his mothers birthday, she had lived to be 93. He lived to be 83. As you saw in the comments a couple essays ago, I alpha’d him up in my eulogy to him. Some random disjointed thoughts. I feel… Read more »

TAnon
Guest
TAnon

@Rollo & @10×10 I hope I live to see the day when a political party that actually encompasses the reality of the RED PILL on women. I doubt they would ever gain power in the current context even if it were to happen as their platform would have to more or less remove crap like ‘womens’ rights’ and ‘gender equality’ completly and replace it with actual constraints. Also, I often think men are they’re own enemy. The only real thing stopping men from creating a social order to accomodate their own sexual strategy is other men. Women could not do… Read more »

kobayashii1681
Guest

“Pussy is a byproduct of Alpha, not its purpose – you know that, all women know that.” – Rollo

G.E.M!!!!

Hobbes
Guest
Hobbes

@sifrellc- No need to feel bad for anyone, that’s not what this is about. Your post kind of makes my point- when younger we all have a “purpose” and it’s easy to find- get laid, get married, develop a career, etc. When younger I never lacked for motivation (actually don’t lack motivation now, really, what we were talking about was a “mission”).. But as I theorized, eventually the family, the kids become the mission, and that has a way of freeing a man up to other things now that his “purpose” is set- i.e. fatherhood, husbandhood, etc. What happens, is… Read more »

sjfrellc
Guest
sjfrellc

All my life I realized that there was a lot of what I call “in-between” time in your life. While commuting, while waiting for others, in between TV commercials. In between dates. On days off. In between getting laid etc. In all that in between time I always used it to pursue hobbies and passions and to make myself better. But I had the temperament to be highly introverted and seek intellectualism over everything. We used to work 120 hour weeks in medical residency. We fit 5 years of experience into three years. I’m 53 and fit an extra 15… Read more »

sjfrellc
Guest
sjfrellc

Sorry, the paragraph after Meyers-Briggs INTJ type should be in quotes.

M Simon
Guest

The fm was going out last night. Me: “And don’t forget to bring back a cute girl for me.” She: “I hate it when you talk like that.” Me. “But it makes you hot for me doesn’t it?” She: Laughs. Silence (with a smile).

M Simon
Guest

So if/when I find myself with a woman, or women willing to attach to my life

You don’t want a “willing” woman. You want one who is gagging for it. One who can’t help herself. One who wants you no matter what.

See my: 8:41 pm

Tilikum
Guest

Rollo,

You are a patient and kind guy. I understand wholly how the manosphere is built for Betas and benevolent Alphas give WAY more that I ever would just so these guys may have a shot at mating rights, but damn dude.

How long can some of these guys comment and comment and comment and never learn? How do you stand it? You have the patience of a SAINT.

zip
Guest
zip

@ Atticus ” If I zone out and meditate all day, is that internal or external? Understand the dialectical principle: whatever you do internal has stark influence on your outer world and other way round. but don’t intermix the levels: Like @gregg described it: most of us seek for outer solutions where there is inner pain. The recent inner conflicts are for sure caused by outer events, but they can’t be solved by re-staging and re-inscenating the same events again and again and again. A rational male knows that it can be only solved by himself. Therefore meditation is the… Read more »

Jack LeBear
Guest
Jack LeBear

“BigAl

February 20th, 2015 at 10:01 am

Something else that had me thinking, are women really even capable of mourning? All this loyalty and hypergamy stuff started to make me wonder if its all just a big show…”

Only if they’re getting paid for it.

“In Honoré de Balzac’s landmark 1835 novel Le Père Goriot, the title character’s funeral is attended by two professional mourners rather than his daughters.[2] ” Wikipedia Professional Mourners

“Rent A Mourner

Rent A Mourner can supply professional, discreet people to attend funerals and wakes.”
http://www.rentamourner.co.uk/

M Simon
Guest

zip
February 20th, 2015 at 8:56 pm

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear.

bo jangles
Guest
bo jangles

These are quality posts, things rarely talked about in the manosphere. I know my own grandfather found love only in his seventies (his first wife was hell on wheels). She was one of the most empathetic women and he had known the hell of war being a fighter pilot. And in their nineties walked hand in hand. When she died he died shortly there after, didnt want the help of his family, clearly didn’t want to live. I also went through something recently with a Ukrainian girl, and I was impressed with her toughness. Few men go through something where… Read more »

Yollo Comanche
Guest
Yollo Comanche

……so if I don’t know of a reason to live, I could choose to die? I’m not suicidal, but It’s suddenly very reassuring to know that if i ever get sick of this shit, and I’ve gotten LOTS of shit, I could totally choose to off myself and all I’d be leaving behind are some people who think they’re better than me for sticking it out longer. I feel like my mind needs to be such that positive attributes need to primarily serve me if I’m going to pursue their development. If I can really live my life however I… Read more »

M Simon
Guest

anon
February 20th, 2015 at 3:27 pm

Legal marriage is an institution of the state. The key word is “legal”.

The man-woman thing is the least of your problems. The real problem is divorce.

M Simon
Guest

anon
February 20th, 2015 at 3:03 pm

Socialism didn’t destroy the family. No fault divorce did. And the “conservative” anti-communist right went along with it. Fools or dupes? Some choice.

SilvrBk
Guest
SilvrBk

@Rollo.. I wonder that even after this, how can you be not against monogamy? I know that you advocate men not making monogamy their ultimate goal, but if this is the level of empathy (or lack of it) on the other side, why not go the other way altogether? What should the man then do, after his SMV declines beyond his peak (say at 39)? I guess i’m still processing the red pill, but increasingly i feel like cipher from matrix (Again, you’ve mentioned that in your earlier posts as well) – more informed but more powerless. You mention, that… Read more »

Yollo Comanche
Guest
Yollo Comanche

@bo jangles As long as that harder life you talk about doesn’t involve you being less “alpha” then you should be ok. Remember you can’t say “we” when we’re talking about women, because when you say “we” it involves appreciating male sacrifices which is impossible unless it’s taught them. But I know how easy it is for a woman to make “sacrifices” for an alpha. My sister would catch 3 buses to be with her old flame. And she still talked about him even when she was six years into her marriage with her current husband. Let’s not dress up… Read more »

sjfrellc
Guest
sjfrellc

@Tilikum Maybe Rollo can elaborate on the numbers of men that eyeball his blog, but don’t participate in the comments section. I suspect that 85% of the viewership doesn’t participate here. Mainly because 85% of men aren’t good at intellectualizing. Most men pride themselves on not being intellectual. For the last 100,000 years, do you think that evolution would program men to think rather that have strength, courage mastery and honor in a tribe prior to the Agricultural Age? No. 85% of men are programmed, hardwired and feel strongly about not being intellectual. Do you really believe that 10,000 years… Read more »

YaReally
Guest

I’ll provide the scumbag perspective on it: People will rationalize anything to avoid having their world view shattered. Whether it’s the mom who’s convinced that her angelic son couldn’t possibly have stuffed that other kid in a locker at school, or whether it’s the feminist who’s convinced she’s a victim no matter how good she has it, or whether it’s society refusing to acknowledge that a woman can be just a shitty person like men, religious people, moon hoax conspiracy people, etc. If their reality is invested and built around a belief system and you challenge it, they will fight… Read more »

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