End of Life Issues

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I had an interesting experience this weekend with a man I used to do peer counseling with almost ten years ago. The guy’s wife had heard I’d moved back to northern Nevada and asked if I’d spend some time with him as he’s been suffering from cancer, and honestly, he’s in death’s waiting room. He’s late 70s now but when I first started counseling the guy at university he was one of the tougher men I knew in trying to expose to what’s now the Red Pill.

He’s never really accepted the fundamental truths and for literally his entire life he’s been struggling with the frustration that Blue Pill men all do when they simply don’t understand that the set of books they believe women – particularly older women from his generation – should be playing fair by. It was particularly disheartening to listen to him still complain about his wife’s lack of sexual interest in him.

For her part she’d completely checked out of anything intimate with him beyond the perfunctory duties of being civil with her husband years ago. As his illness has progressed he’s become less mobile and more resentful of her indifference to him. From my perspective, coming back into this story after almost ten years, it struck me how a Blue Pill conditioning solidifies into a man’s life in his later years. Revealing the Red Pill truths as to what’s brought him to where he is now is almost too cruel to torture him with, and honestly he wouldn’t accept it.

I’ve always advocated that unplugging men from the Matrix is like triage, save the men you can, read last rites to the dying. For those who don’t come to terms with the Red Pill and the true nature of the realities of the sexual marketplace at least there’s some hope that eventually they will experience something similar to what the Red Pill defines for them and they’ll have pause and insight to reconsider those truths. That’s the bitter taste of the Red Pill – there’s no going back once you start to see the behaviors and relate them to Red Pill principles.

I read guys on the TRP subreddit forum who are newly unplugged who really have a tough time coming to terms with that new reality. They get pissed off, they want to cling to the “it’s not really that bad” or “not all women are like that” conditioning and throw their hands up in disgust with the Red Pill and move on.

Only they can’t. Four months later they come back to the forum after having a woman behave exactly as the theories predicted they would. There’s a manosphere saying that women hate the Red Pill because it more reliably and accurately predicts human behavior than feminism ever has. That Red Pill awareness and predictability is tough to shake for guys who want to go back to the comfort of believing there’s still hope for them in a Blue Pill world.

This Old Man

I realize this is going to get depressing here, but it’s important to consider the totality of what a lifetime of Blue Pill ignorance represents to a man at his end. There are going to be men who will never accept Red Pill truths. They will never make the connection that the rule book they think everyone is working from is a plan with the intent of consuming him all the way to his death-bed. For whatever reason anything counter to their preconception of how women and men ought to relate to one another simply doesn’t register for them.

I’ll continue with my story about this man, but before I do I think that for anyone to have a complete understanding of how what we call Red Pill awareness affects our lives as men we need to consider how that awareness plays out across the span of our lives. Red Pill awareness, what I call positive masculinity, and the counter to a social order founded on the Feminine Imperative is still in its infancy. Some guys want to characterize it as a return to what was once conventional masculine ideals, and while I think that has some merit things simply aren’t going back to what men romanticize they were with women.

In the ‘sphere there’s a particular focus on how men can get the desired results they want in their personal and intimate lives by applying what Red Pill awareness helps them to reasonably predict. That’s fine for PUAs, maybe MGTOWs, and in the meantime MRAs will channel the parts of the Red Pill they do accept to increase awareness of men’s issues. But all of these branches and all of their interests are applied in the now.

My father died from complications of Alzheimers in 2010. My brother and I had him provided for in an assisted living facility for the last year of his life and it got to the point he couldn’t recognize either of us or his grandchildren. It was very difficult to watch my Dad who was a brilliant man, but a life long Beta, decay to a shell of himself. However even while suffering from memory loss, he was still clinging to the behaviors his Blue Pill conditioning taught him would make him appreciated by the other women in the facility.

My Dad taught me the meaning of the Savior Schema throughout most of his life – if that post seems poignant to you it’s because I learned it well from my old man. His ‘dating’ methodology was always based around a strategy of what he could do to better solve, buy or otherwise alleviate the problems a woman had in the hopes that a reciprocated appreciation of it would result in intimacy. The old set of books, he had them memorized.

I mention this because even with his mind addled by dementia some part of his subconscious still expected old women, women he had no idea what their names were, to reciprocate their love and intimacy for doing their gardening or fixing something for them. He couldn’t remember my name, but he could remember being slighted by women not giving him a kiss or patting him on the back ‘for all he did for them.’

This is just one example of the extent and consequences of Blue Pill conditioning. Using Red Pill / Game to pick up or live a better life with women, or extending that awareness to other aspects of one’s life is commendable and a betterment to a man’s life, but appreciating that betterment is incomplete without acknowledging the consequences of what a Blue Pill life path looks like.

When I agreed to spending most of my day with this man I had a kind of idealistic want to create a memorable time for him. He’s still pretty together mentally, but physically the guy can’t walk for more than 30 yards without getting winded. I took him out to the casinos, he hung out with me and some of the guys I snowmobile with, we drank good bourbon and I had hoped he’d get out of this self-pity by just doing something different for him.

He wouldn’t have it. All he could talk about was his resentment of his wife’s treatment of him “after all he’d done for her over the years”. He’ll be gone inside a year or two and he complains about Blue Pill frustrations as if there’s a chance he might live a better life in the future.

Last April I lost one of my most prized greyhounds to osteosarcoma. He was only 8 years old so it was kind of tragic, but I’d had him x-rayed and caught the signs early enough to manage his pain for an extra month before the pain was too much for him. Literally the day I had him put down, to the hour before, he insisted on going outside to walk in the grass and breath the air, he leaned on me like greys do, but it was an acknowledgement of him knowing it was his time. That dog took the last train home with more dignity and self-awareness than this man will.

I’m not a big fan of Abraham Maslow and his hierarchy of needs, but I do accept his concept of having ‘peak experiences’. I think there is a Blue Pill presumption that those peaks are only peaks if they include their ONEitis girlfriend or wife along there to experience it with them. This is a tragedy because it disqualifies those fantastic life experiences (even stressful ones) because that Beta want of a mutually shared love precedes the capacity to recognize those great peaks.

It is important from a larger meta-life experience to understand just what the implications of a Blue Pill existence are and rise above them. Red Pill awareness isn’t just about getting better and hotter women, it’s about living a better life – when you’re 22 and 92.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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Zeroday
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Wow. That’s some potent stuff there. Good read

enlightenedself
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Was waiting for a blog post this comment would fit the theme of: This post seems to sum up how the life a blue pill beta runs. Was wondering if you could do a post in the same vein of the Preventative Medicine series about men. I’m 27 and while I don’t feel an overwhelmingly strong urge to have children now I imagine I might later on. Another interesting observation as an younger adult, I feel like it was much easier for me to desire casual sex than it is now. I find myself having to work harder to get… Read more »

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[…] In a way, this relates to this post. […]

LiveFearless
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Reblogged this on Livefearless and commented:
Why am I using my real name for the project, it’s because of posts like this by Rollo Tomassi. The truths and true science he and his vast research has discovered is the only hope for the concept of marriage between two people, and it’s the only hope for the literal long-term health and survival of most men that choose to be in a loving relationship with a woman.

The Diplomat
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@enlightenedself

Maybe the more alpha friends you refer to were, like myself, mostly alpha–but with a healthy dose of solid beta, “Old Book” training. Read Rollo’s “Domain Dependence.” Take a man like what you describe out of his power domain in some way, and he’s ripe for succumbing to the FI social order’s “expectations” of him. I’ll write in detail about my experiences later in this thread about my personal story.

This particular post really hits me in a deep place. Very well done, Rollo.

John Nelson
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First – powerful – great read. This is ironic for me if I may share – there was death in the small county where I grew up recently – my Mother called – she started on about my ‘Godparents’ who are trying to outlive each other. She is 88, he is 90 – Far as they go, my Dad told me this story in the early 1980’s when I was in college had a serious girl, then another girl problem… my Godfather in the early 70’s was choking on the blue pill, went out of town meeting in Florida for… Read more »

Retrenched
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At what point do you think it becomes too late for a man to take the red pill? Or does it vary depending on the man’s age and circumstances?

The Diplomat
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It doesn’t matter what your age–get busy digesting the Red Pill. It’s an ugly and unpleasant process, so the faster the better. As the post above illustrates, better to take “that last train with dignity” than to die in ignoble compromise believing a terrible lie.

sjfrellc
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Being red pill and accepting death when a life was well lived and not crying at a funeral seem to to go hand in hand. Being blue pill and having unresolved issues in life or death and crying at a funeral seem to go hand in hand. Freenortherner’s essay, Die When You are Done, although rambling like Rollo’s essay above, has germs of truth. http://freenortherner.com/2012/09/06/die-when-youre-done/ I helped put my father in the ground yesterday. I decided to speak in the funeral service for my father for the sake of me, my mother and my brothers. I worked hard and did… Read more »

Jeremy
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Not the faster the better, but the earlier the better. No one is saying you have to digest all of the unpleasant truths in an evening and deal with the depression it inevitably causes within a day. You can’t live your life ignorant of yourself and expect to have any satisfaction. Red pill truths are supposed to reveal the realities of some of your (all of our) own base motivations, and in doing this inform your decisions and future behavior well enough that you don’t end up 94 years old and still clinging to lies. Watching someone die when they’re… Read more »

Sun Wukong
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@Retrenched

I’d say that while there’s no such thing as “too late” for TRP, there’s almost always “I wish I had known sooner.” I know that’s certainly my case at 38. Woulda saved me a lot of heartache and pain.

The Diplomat
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@Sun

True enough. Try it at 48. I’d love to have those ten years back in an RP frame. That’s why I always advocate for faster. Earlier is better, but faster is often a necessity for late comers to the real game.

God Damn You Cypher
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You know? I hate the Red Pill for waking me up to just how consumed I had been. But I’m grateful I woke up in my 28th year of life.

These bitches would have NEVER let me have my life the way I wanted it.

After reading this article all i can say is thank you Rollo. My future looks disjointed, but I’m finally putting the pieces together.

Karl
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Maybe slightly off topic, (is hypergamy ever off topic?) but here’s a website that gives you a glimpse into what women desire. The website essentially keeps track of convos from handsome guys to girls on Tinder and the results are, well…let’s just say, I’m sure you guys will get a kick out of this: http://tinderrage.blogspot.ca/ I’ve seen this type of stuff before but this really takes the cake. Women completely disregard most of your inadequacies if you fulfill her alpha fucks pre-requisites (namely,good looks). It blew my mind how the guys on that page would fuck up heavily, and at… Read more »

M Simon
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I was so lucky to have been RPed by the first GF at age 18. I have never had to be resentful or consider it anything other than gravity or electromagnetism.

I can still get the fm juicing with a few choice words, “Be my doormat.” I’m 70. Heh.

walawala
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By adopting the Red Pill and being a guy who “gets it”…Girls are now much more up front with their own “needs”…I just had a girl I’m banging text me: “I wanna fuck”….this was unthinkable for me 5 years ago or more. It wouldn’t have made sense that a girl I know and have been banging but am otherwise indifferent to would just text. The next time we saw each other, she brought me a little gift… Women come and go in my life now. Some I like more than others but the concept of “oneitis” is slowly fading as… Read more »

M Simon
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BTW for those of you interested –> you should look up what cannabis can do for cancer – high CBD, high THC oil. Or what it can do for Alzheimer’s.

And for others – better than Viagra. Provided you have the dominance to create interest.

migs
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I’m only 30 but I can really identify w this article. At times I’m in a zone and I only seem to care about myself and my own things and this is where I find myself in my own alpha state but I find it really hard for me to maintain this state. And its the beta-ness that really seems to take over most the time. I feel I’m getting better but its coming through trial and error and for as much as I have read these articles I can’t seem to make them stick in real life situations, much… Read more »

M Simon
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migs February 16th, 2015 at 2:29 am You have to loose respect for women. Read “Surely You are Joking, Mr. Feynman” and the chapter I believe is “You Just Ask Them.” If you can maintain your RP you may eventually find one who is willing to give up her self respect to be with you. To be totally submissive. But you have to train them for that. It takes time. It is the opposite of “oneitis”. On the female side it is “bestitis” – she has found the best possible man she can find. At least in her mind. And… Read more »

M Simon
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I should add that the “girl hunt” will make her very hot for you. She wants to out compete the other girl even before you find her.

cunfuuzed
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I caught a glimpse of an old facebook message from my last girlfriend and noticed her last name had changed. My my learned instinct being to pace around and consume myself with the possibilities of whether she still thought of me or not,I force myself to stay up and work for an extra hour on a project. reading this post couldn’t have come at a better time, I thank you for reminding me that’s struggling against my maladapted blue pill patterns is a fight worthy of continuing

Pervert from a high school playground
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The sufficiently intelligent men who are presented with the red pill, but still chose the blue one, to continue using the Matrix movie terminology = are called “ciphers”. I have no sympathy for contemporary ciphers whatsoever, but I’m not so harsh on those who were products of different times. Because the old men of today came up of age in VASTLY different America… one that was much more aligned with that thought, and those kinds of doing things. The end of life issue is a microcosm of universal human condition, and the most brutal question that humans ask themselves: What… Read more »

Pervert from a high school playground
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Matatan
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Sad story. I guess it’s better late than never when it comes to discovering red pill truths, but the swallowing I guess gets harder the older you are. I mean, imagine being 75 and discovering that you’ve managed your marriage the wrong way your entire life. There literally is no time anymore to do anything about it. That’s though. I’m 45 and I sure wish I had known this 20 years ago. But at least I.have some quality time left on this earth to apply this knowledge to my advantage. And of course I will be passing this on to… Read more »

YaReally
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In my early 30s right now and as my friends all settle down I get pretty much no end of “don’t you want someone who loves you unconditionally forever” and “you’re going to die alone” etc. Thing is this: 1) There’s no guarantee living the good BP beta life will have anyone there for you at the end of your life. I’m pretty sure Hugh Hefner the socialite playboy is going to have a LOT more love around him on his deathbed than Bob the accountant who’s wife divorced him and turned his kids against him (or died before him)… Read more »

kobayashii1681
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Mmm….mmm…mmm!!!

kobayashii1681
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Reblogged this on 254MGTOW and commented:
Deep…”A prison….for your mind!”

Ra Sputin
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Its never too late, ever. I took it a year ago nearing 29 and am so fucking glad. as i approach 30, i start seeing as a helter skelter scramble by women to settle by the “magic” age of 30 and a certain amount of men feeling under pressure too. Side note: Someone sold a great myth to society that 30 is the magic number to settle and have kids, esp. to women. The blog on the myth of the biological clock comes to mind. I can only speculate that if i was still blue pill I might have felt… Read more »

enrique432@gmail.com
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Rollo, great, and deep post. Two things stuck out to me, re: my own RP awareness the last 10 years or so (I’m mid 40s): 1. My formerly RP father, whose life tracks like Don Draper/Madmen, fully absorbed the blue pill mid-1970s,when I was a child. He is in his mid 70s now and still doing everything he can to keep my mom, happy. Hard to believe they started off as bible thumping Southerners who came of age in the late 1950s. He is a shell of himself, but seems to have convinced himself that it’s the “right” life for… Read more »

hoellenhund2
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Off-topic: I just found out the Spearhead is up and running again, and has turned into a predictable pile of tradcon crap.

Brave New Man
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“He’ll be gone inside a year or two and he complains about Blue Pill frustrations as if there’s a chance he might live a better life in the future.”

That one hit me in the face. Great post Rollo.

Forge the Sky
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@Miggs – “Anybody else feel the same way, or have any solid advice on how to naturally culminate myself into a more “aware” man? Its as if my own emotions take over completely no matter the amount of knowledge I manage to pick up in these red pill discussions.” In my experience, emotional and instinctive redpill behaviors lag behind intellectual understanding a fair degree. For me, by about six months more or less. Earlier than that, I could resolve things and say redpill truths but it always came across as incongruous because I couldn’t really ‘live up to’ them yet.… Read more »

Atticus
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Rollo takes the dying man out and he wouldn’t have fun… “All he could talk about was his resentment of his wife’s treatment of him “after all he’d done for her over the years”. For me, that was the hardest part of internalizing the red pill. I’ve read Rollo’s “Appreciation” post at least ten times. Even more than the way woman love (or don’t love), that fundamental inability to appreciate the endless, tedious, little shit things we do is what drove me nuts. It seems totally opposite to basic humanity; how difficult is a heart felt “Thank you, I appreciate… Read more »

Sun Wukong
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@YaReally “What I really need is a feminist or blue pill guy who can’t get his wife to fuck him to tell me what will REALLY make me happy” Had a new middle manager above me tell me that I needed exactly this after he decided to start a philosophical debate with me. To quote him after he became flustered with my having thought very deeply about the subject already: “You need to find a woman so you won’t have so much time to think about this shit.” I already had no respect for the guy because he’d already invoked… Read more »

Tony232
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Women want it all or nothing, or they walk:

Ryan
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How you stay out of the retirement home, start now…
http://youtu.be/vv2-74OfI0k

girlwithadragonflytattoo
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Powerful post, Rollo… It truly does amaze me how some men will just never get it. So sad. I’m so grateful that my brother did, I don’t think I could bear watching him go through life like I’ve seen other beta friends do (the self-pity, the constant “need” of a woman to complete them or make their lives great). It’s just so hard to accept that some will go to their death bed still “not getting it.” I guess the counter to it would be women who “Just Don’t Get It” … that to be attractive to the best men,… Read more »

Tony232
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‘I guess the counter to it would be women who “Just Don’t Get It” … that to be attractive to the best men, they must put in effort, make themselves as attractive as possible, lose weight (go against the cultural fat acceptance aspect of feminism), and learn how to be appealing to men. I’m watching women who are still stuck in a (I guess) blue pill kind of thinking of “he should love me for ME! I shouldn’t have to “LOSE weight” ( insert: wear lingerie, learn to be appealing, stop being a slut… etc etc etc) – how dare… Read more »

Jack LeBear
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” His ‘dating’ methodology was always based around a strategy of what he could do to better solve, buy or otherwise alleviate the problems a woman had…”

We have an evolved instinct to do that, probably both by sexual selection and reproductive success selection.

“… in the hopes that a reciprocated appreciation of it would result in intimacy. ”

This is the mistake.
It is a result of this over grown cerebral cortex that makes us tell ourselves all kinds of silly things about why we do what we do.

Forge the Sky
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Forge the Sky
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Jack LeBear: “This is the mistake.
It is a result of this over grown cerebral cortex that makes us tell ourselves all kinds of silly things about why we do what we do.”

Good observation. The appreciation gambit is really a form of projection of masculine tendencies onto women, as well as a rationalization for doing what we feel compelled to.

Softek
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I saw my grandpa die over a two year period. He gave me his wings from WWII before he went downhill. It was a nightmare. He didn’t know who anyone was and was shitting everywhere, etc., cycled through tons of caretakers because he was abusing all of them, either physically or verbally (usually both) and they wouldn’t tolerate it. I’ve been into health and nutrition for as long as I can remember, but there’re no guarantees. There are people that smoke and drink into their 90’s and have few health problems, and other people that never over-indulged in anything that… Read more »

longgone
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Thanks Mr. Tomassi! I just discovered your writing a week or so ago, am choking on the RP but will get it down. (62 years old – 6 years post-divorce) For however much time is allotted to me, I intend to live fearlessly and set an example.
Thanks also to all of you commenters. If my experiences merit it I hope I can share them as generously and coherently as you have and be equally encouraging. Pardon in advance if an earlier version of this comment posts due to my inexperience here…just consider me twice as grateful.

Water Cannon Boy
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In a case like this, I don’t see the regret of wishing I knew sooner if the red pill finally takes hold this late in life, as worse than the resentment for how things should be and how they are that a man like him will take to the grave. It would actually be much better. You’re never too old to learn is true. With a situation like this, there just may not be time to for some understanding to sink in. Which wouldn’t do any more harm or cause any more anguish than he’s already carrying for someone who’s… Read more »

thedeti
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Enlightenedself: Getting married is not, by itself, “blue pill”. The point of the post is, at least to me, that you live the life YOU want. Knowing the truth (i.e. red pill) enables you to identify what you want and what it will take to get it. You then decide if you want to do those things that will get you what you want. So, getting married isn’t blue pill. You marry when you want, in the way you want, to a woman who meets your requirements, in a marital relationship that gives you what you want/need/desire as well as… Read more »

Sun Wukong
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@Tony232 “All or nothing or they walk.” No. They walk if you give them everything. They walk if you give them nothing. They walk if you half ass it. Hypergamy doesn’t care how much you give. If she’s gonna walk, she’s gonna walk. This is why outcome independence, while really tough to learn, is so important to men. You have to not give a fuck about the long term results with a woman and just get what you can while the gettin is good. My ex that dumped me over two years ago was the last bitch that hurt me… Read more »

sjfrellc
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Yes, a new comma should have been inserted after “rambling”. I’m not very good at being articulate.

YaReally
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@Tony232 That video was fucking cringe-worthy. I watched his vids and just have a constant cringe-face planted on. If anyone wants to see what “incongruency” looks like, listen to this guy talk about “getting those pussies” and “clits on your tongue” holy hell lol I like MGTOW but I think MGTOW needs more Luimarcos who are bridging the gap between killing it with exercise/career and learning enough Red Pill to date without getting attached or only allow relationships on their own terms and understand how the dynamics change when you have a kid or legal contract or make her your… Read more »

David W
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“Red Pill awareness isn’t just about getting better and hotter women, it’s about living a better life – when you’re 22 and 92.” My father is desperately blue pill, he also has the old set of books memorized, and he is very obviously angry that he isn’t rewarded with the respect and intimacy from my mother, that he expects, and thinks he deserves. Watching him with my new red pill world view has been sad, but also instructive. As a married man, my goal isn’t to get women, but it is to live a better life. I often find myself… Read more »

YaReally
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Also here’s a fucking GREAT post about LTRs: http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2w2ine/longterm_relationship_game_theory_a_beginners/ I haven’t read the whole thing but what I’ve skimmed I agree with. This is the kind of stuff MGTOW needs where it’s just the basics and some warnings stripped down to let guys know how to safely have women in their lives on their own terms and what pitfalls to look out for (like how voluntarily giving up the ability to leave them means you lose your power so if you want to have kids with one you have to look into how to make that work by upping your… Read more »

SFC Ton
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Years of ground combat and I have seen some fucked up shut but the worse thing I have ever seen is a wife’s hostility toward her husband while cancer ate him up from the inside out.

Marriage is all Blue Pill. Once you understand what family courts can do to you on a man choking on blue pills would take that legal ball and chain

AC in TX
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“because that Beta want of a mutually shared love precedes the capacity to recognize those great peaks.” Damn that hurt. I’m still smarting from an episode I had yesterday where I nearly divorced my wife because she had basically told me in between the lines she was getting ready to experience sex with other men in a few years. I crumpled up what she said and threw it out the window of my mind by realizing it was in my power to thwart her–but only if I emerged once again and again and again into Alpha State. What hurt so… Read more »

Tony232
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There are many stories indicating that many, if not most, women do not actually orgasm during sex. If true, then why are young women so promiscuous these days? Are they just trying to find partners that they do have orgasms with?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/12/16/no-orgasm-with-partner_n_6310856.html

Robert What?
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I really appreciated this article. Being in my late 50s I find that most of the websites in the ‘sphere focus on the young men (no complaint about that): how to get into the panties of that young hottie, and such. Articles like these show that the Red Pill is so much more. I lost my father when I was still firmly planted in the Blue Pill world. I would like to see more articles by and about men in their later years: how they have applied the Red Pill lessons, and what it has meant to them after spending… Read more »

Mr T.
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“For her part she’d completely checked out of anything intimate with him beyond the perfunctory duties of being civil with her husband years ago”

Women shuts down emotionally for two reasons :
1, when a man is losing his job.
2,when a man is losing his life.

Ps #2 comes with life insurance $$$.

Mr T.
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Would a woman stops having sex with a dying alpha man?

How do a sick dying woman feel about sex with a surviving husband?

girlwithadragonflytattoo
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“I believe in Unicorns because my wife is one, no self-congratulating whatsoever–but the Unicorn State is eternally temporary, fleeting, like a beautiful dream you hate waking up from. What I forgot, at the risk of losing it all, is she is only in the Unicorn State when I am in my Alpha State. The moment I slip, get comfortable and cozy and tender even when she doesn’t deserve it, the Unicorn is GONE and she is right back to the Eternal Hypergamous Ice Queen. She is again, Just Another Woman.” There really are no unicorns… just Palominos (that almost give… Read more »

Intrepid1
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Intrepid1
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I remember the exact day I swallowed the Red Pill without knowing it…. 8 years ago at age 46. I grew up raised to be the nice guy. When I dated women in my younger years women looked at me as serious material, not ONS. Good job, stable, good father etc.. After 2 divorces and being extremely beta trying to do what ever it took to save those marriages, as I didn’t want the kids to go through divorce garbage like I had as a kid. I had always hoped to find the one, the last one, the no matter… Read more »

sjfrellc
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@Robert What? Read some Ian Ironwood Kindle books esp. the Manosphere one. And Athol Kay’s stuff. Sure Athol is Purple pill, but he helped me. I was red pill all along and once I eliminated beta, I regained the rudder. Read Dalrock. My story is: 53 y.o. married to a +2 or +3 wife for going on 25 years. Red pill from the start. Lost the rudder for a long time. Gained it back. MBTI INTJ type: Believe anything is possible. The J (judging) means I think people are lazy stupid and unskilled, and unable to accomplish things they should.… Read more »

Mr T.
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Mr T.
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Rollo,

I always wanted to ask you (for us in late 40s and over) does AF/BB apply to women in their 40s who are pre/post menopausal ?
What happens to the sexual duality in women 40s 50s?
With your dying friend (and there are lots of older men who complains about the lack of sex) is it because of being blue pill or her menopause?

sjfrellc
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Mr. T. As a corollary question, the scales were removed from my eyes when it has only made clear to me that Rollo’s Menstruation is Your Friend essay in the past 6 months has reactivate my bedroom (dead bedroom>alive bedroom). Also the Beta Tells essay has made me realize how in light of the ovulatory cycle how my red pill re-affirmation has been successful. She likes me. She really likes me. Red pill question: what happens to the urgency or l lack there-of after menopause? Is it a free-for-all, or is there lack of urgency? If I only knew years… Read more »

sjfrellc
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Rollo, what are your real “feelings” about this blue pill guy. Are you surprised that you couldn’t peer counsel him to come around to your perspective? Or are you frustrated that the Blue Pill Feminine Imperative and social conventions are like a black hole and sucked him in and wouldn’t let go?

Rollo are you an INTJ, Meyer’s Briggs type?

Finishing and editing a book takes fortitude. I have an acquaintance doing the same. It’s tough. But what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Be Good.

Random Angeleno
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Random Angeleno
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Regret is an extraordinarily powerful emotion when it happens at or near the end.

Somehow I think the refusal to set aside the blue pill that late in life may be connected to avoiding the feeling of regret.

Mr T.
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Mr T.
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sjfrellc
I wasn’t questioning Rollo’s rational male advice. In fact , discovering his blog was the best thing that happened to me.

Since I was a boy I saw and knew women have ZERO loyalty or love to men.
women love and fuck opportunistically.
I believe that to be the truth of what women are AND accepted it. Reading this blog was a vindication.

Rollo
When there is no more menstrual cycle what replaces the duality?
How genuine is sex for pre/post menopausal women do they fuck to feel wanted/sexy or (as usual) opportunism.

Paulo
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Paulo
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M Simon is right about losing our respect for women. Since boyhood we’re indoctrinated into pleasing and seeking the approval of women, e.g. mothers, teachers. We’re taught to treat them special and respect them just because of their gender. Yet we would never give another man our respect so freely. It really comes down to women needing to earn our respect. In my observations, men with sisters treat women differently. Since they’ve grown-up with womens bs and manipulation they’re more adept at recognizing it, and never put women on the same pedestal that some of us do. For men without… Read more »

Mr T
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comment image

“Chokmah
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“Chokmah
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That is one motherfucker of post, right there Rollo. Kudos.

447
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447
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@Appreciation: “Men making the personal sacrifices necessary to honor, respect and love her are commonplace. You’re supposed to do those things. You sacrificed your ambitions and potential to provide her with a better life? You were supposed to. You resisted temptation and didn’t cheat on your wife with the hot secretary who was DTF and ready to go? You were supposed to. Your responsibilities to maintaining a marriage, a home, your family, etc. are common – they’re expected. ***They are only appreciated in their absence***.” First: Powerful story about a pityful man – not kicking somebody already on the ground,… Read more »

melmoth
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Wow. Harsh read but well done, as always. It seems there must be a teetering point in which you simply can’t make a change that would render your lifelong emotions invalid. You have to dance with the one that brought you. If a guy pedestalized and supplicated all his life then he kind of has to go out under that illusion or the regret will be so overwhelming.

melmoth
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@Sun Wukong I always enjoy your comments (no homo) You made the comment that the RP would have saved you a lot of pain. I can certainly say the same thing though in a different way, I think. But to me, the RP has just rendered all those memories of oneitis, pedestalization ‘pain’ into a comedy in retrospect. So I no longer even see it as pain. I regret the wasted time but any old pangs of emotion are just silly to me. I realize now how deeply programmed and false so much of my life was in regards to… Read more »

melmoth
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I’m just glad weed is legal now because when I’m that old I will go down in a blaze of glory. I’m not going to lay there and contemplate shit. No thanks.

447
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447
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“M Simon is right about losing our respect for women.” The thing is: “Women” is just a made-up word that is connected to hundredes upon hundreds of semantic links – so far even the feminists (in their focus on the disproved, but still interesting Sapir-Whorf-Hypothesis) are right. These links, associations and word-fields are SOCIALLY reenforced for all the reasons every PUA/manosphere reader knows/has read up: Value of eggs / reproduction as central power factor for any group of humans, etc.pp. (Everybody done their homework? ) What we see when we: a) create a social space where women are free to… Read more »

TheLastCoyote
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Could be the best post ever on RM. Seldom see a Manosphere blog post that shows the natural end result of the blue pill. Sure, causing panties to drop is a big benefit of the RP, but ideally the RP should make your life better in every way. I’ll be re-reading this post whenever I need a good reminder.

thedeti
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AC in TX: Wow. You have a wife of 8 years who basically hinted she’s getting ready to off load you and have sex with other men “in a few years”. Nope. If I were you, I’d see a lawyer today. Her mindset isn’t likely to change, I’m afraid. If she is talking to you and hinting openly at you about it, she’s getting ready to leave you. I’d seriously consider ending it now, and first. At the very least, I’d confront her head on with it. I’d let her know very clearly that you know exactly what she was… Read more »

Just Saying
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what he could do to better solve, buy or otherwise alleviate the problems a woman had Men solve problems – so when a woman brings a problem it is his natural tendency to try to solve it. I learned long ago that it is a waste of time and effort – show her that you listened, then have sex with her. That way your time isn’t completely wasted. In advanced training, you learn how to turn her “problem” into your advantage since almost all of them center around a man – women love to complain, it is how they bond….… Read more »

Sun Wukong
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@melmoth I always enjoy your comments (no homo) Unrequited homosexual crush on me noted, sir. I understand the regret of wasted time (I have that in droves) but how has the RP altered your memories of ‘pain’? It seems like you could have an interesting thought or two on that. I’d say you and I view the past a bit differently. Not saying either is “wrong” or “right”, but it’s definitely different. A little over 10 years ago, I looked back on a lot of the pain in my past and realized that if I wanted to love the person… Read more »

Paulo
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447, those are excellent points. I’ve just begun the path of overcoming my indoctrination, and have come to a similar, though much less defined, conclusion regarding these “post-pubescent toddlers”. I know realize that a woman will never be my equal, and rather than seeking an equal relationship, I need a partner who is compatible. Compatibility is an old notion that the feminist fight for equality has caused us to forget. When two people are equal they’re likely to butt heads, but since the basis of compatability is inequality, it allows for less conflict and greater reward for both partners. In… Read more »

enrique432
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Paulo, Indeed, I happened to have been raised in a family with a proto-feminist mom (was too old already when it got kickin’…was busy cooking and cleaning and having babies in the early 60’s), and a feminist sister, which drove me and my brother crazy. That sister went on to become a pretty big Ivy League Feminist that rubs shoulders with the big libs…sickening. Anyhow, watching her ply her craft as a young boy/man in the 70s and 80s taught me early, how to be wary of women…along with watching my mom’s psy-ops on my dad and us boys. I… Read more »

Paulo
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(Begin quote) thedeti on February 17, 2015 at 10:42 am AC in TX: Wow. You have a wife of 8 years who basically hinted she’s getting ready to off load you and have sex with other men “in a few years”. Nope. If I were you, I’d see a lawyer today. Her mindset isn’t likely to change, I’m afraid. If she is talking to you and hinting openly at you about it, she’s getting ready to leave you. I’d seriously consider ending it now, and first. At the very least, I’d confront her head on with it. I’d let her… Read more »

Jack LeBear
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Mr. T, sjfrellc The menopausal women I have had experience with were plenty horny, wanted AF as well as BB and did the usual hypergamous behavior. AWALT. They did not seem to cycle AFBB on a schedule that I noticed. It seems that some women are more strongly Alpha seeking than others. I suspect a genetic component since I knew a mother and daughter who were both strongly Alpha seeking, as well as a pair of sisters. There may also be a racial aspect. Two Korean women I have known were more strongly AF seeking hypergamous than average. They often… Read more »

enrique432
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Folks, understand that if your wife has hinted about divorce, or you have even considered it, she’s already done some legwork on it. Secondly, NEVER EVER show your hand (unless tactically advantageous), meaning, you don’t ANNOUNCE to her ANYTHING. Stay calm, document, record (check out if it is lawful to record discretely in your state) and understand ALL THAT, particularly if you have kids, is just protection and defensive tactics. You have almost zero leverage in a divorce, except to counter with everything you have (as she will), DO NOT WHITE KNIGHT UP, and follow a good attorney’s advice. This… Read more »

SFC Ton
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Yea bro beat her to the punch and kick when she is down

You win fights with surprise and violence of a action, find a lawyer who will go to war for you, make a good plan and attack 1st.

That woman who “loved” you will make ISSI hajjis look like teddy bears when she hits the divorce court

tsotha
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It’s hard to say whether cluing older guys in is a good thing. I say this as someone who didn’t really “get it” until his early 40s (now pushing 50). I still can’t decide whether RP was good for me or not. As soon as I opened my eyes and realized what really motivates women (as opposed to professed motivations), I lost interest in them entirely. I know it’s pretty common for new RP guys to go through a period of… well, grief, I guess. For all the time and effort they wasted playing by the woman’s fake rule book.… Read more »

Sun Wukong
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@tsotha Me, though, I feel like I’m pretty much done with them. I guess some guys adjust to change better than others. Trying to figure out how being done with them is worse than the alternative of continuing to suffer through the pain of not knowing. OK, it’s not the ideal outcome we aim for, but it’s an improvement. Possible outcomes from worst to best after being exposed to The Red Pill: – Complete denial. (Sadly, the vast majority of cases) – “Accept” Red Pill, but continue trying to live by Blue Pill books, continue getting fucked over as a… Read more »

Bromeo
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Bromeo
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Think I just heard the FI anthem on the radio (K. Michelle – Love ‘Em All): Maybe one day I’ll settle down But for now I’ll just play around And I’ll make them feel good That’s how I get ’em Making all feel special Then I’ll forget ’em So I won’t hurt I keep a lot of them And I love them all Want me like the rest I’m continuing not giving my best They say I move too fast Going man to man Always holding a new hand Why can’t they understand Sex is irrelevant Just a game in… Read more »

jeff
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Outstanding!!! Rollo, There is a movie called Summer School. I cannot remember the actors name, but one of the H.S. students (male) was always sleeping in class. The teacher asked him why (the H.S. student was natural RP). The student said, “Do you ever wish you knew in H.S. what you know now?” The teacher said, “yeah.” The student said, “I do.” The kid walked away and the teacher said, “I hate that kid.” I went through all the stages of RP awareness. I am whole heartedly teaching my son RP, and my wife hates it. My dad was an… Read more »

Not Born This Morning
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Not Born This Morning
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Thanks for another excellent post Rollo.

My father also died (at 76) a blue pill addict.

“M Simon is right about losing our respect for women.”????

Women should never be respected from a blue pill perspective. In fact that’s not respect, it is expect….

Elias
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Great story and very similar to me own. My father died last year, it was a huge learning experience and I gained a lot of perspective during his brutal three week terminal decline in a hospital bed. It was right after I fully accepted how women and men are instead of letting TV, the junk mainstream media, and lying women tell you how they want the reality to be. My father and mother used to fight a lot, my father would stand up to my mother in his 30s and be unrelenting in not letting her get her way. This… Read more »

447
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@tsotha: “I still can’t decide whether RP was good for me or not. As soon as I opened my eyes and realized what really motivates women (as opposed to professed motivations), I lost interest in them entirely.” I know that many sites/commenters deny that or try tp ridicule it – but I don’t agree. Just forgetting about the whole problem and, if that is possible locally –> escorts or masturbation are alternatives on a spectrum: One end of the spectrum is to learn game and go spinning, some might just implement some measure of game, others might drop out of… Read more »

447
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“When each partner is able to validate themselves, they won’t seek external validation from others. Like you said, it’s a one-ness with the self that liberates oneself from being outcome dependent, but it’s a level of maturity that most of us will never reach.” Hmmh, perhaps it is maturity – I rather think it is a completly dysfunctional behaviour (close to dark traid) that acts a a “hack” on hypergamy. Because it DOES get you women indirectly (as we know, the more dark traid –> the more they react with their vaginas) – but only because of our current social… Read more »

bo jangles
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So what do you think this main failure was? Not to learn from his mistakes? A refusal to change? Lack of courage? Incidently the research I’ve been doing it looks like silicon is an essential nutrient(it and boron seem so strongly to be essential, just no one seems to be able to figure out exactly what they do). Silicon (silicic acid) seems to limit the uptake of aluminum, and humans ingest less and less as they age. They’ve already shown very conclusively areas where water is treated with aluminum have much higher rates of alzheimers.

SFC Ton
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I totally get the red pill turning a man off from women. Immorality does that to a lot of men and women are immoral from any masculine perspective of the word.

Even success in the SMP comes at a price and I have exited the SMP to go my own way for a spell pretty regularly over the last 8-10 years. Even when I was married I enjoyed a high ops and training tempo as it was a welcome break from domestic life. Lots of us did

melmoth
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@Sun Wukong Very good and interesting stuff in there and it’s appreciated. It sounds like you went through quite a lot and it took quite a lot of nerve to share that with us here. I hope you can keep progressing. I remain the Pres. of your fan club. Yeah, your experiences are different than mine but all aspects of how and why people shift from blue to red is worth knowing. One way it helps is that it just furthers the understanding of how much we were all led on so adeptly by the F.I. For me, the RP… Read more »

melmoth
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melmoth
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@Elias What a story. I agree with you that you shouldn’t live your life in such a way that your passing will be some wonderful, joyous time for you, ‘after a life well-lived!’ with your oneitis by your side. As if she won’t be sitting there thinking, ‘Just die, asshole!’ The death rattle is going to suck regardless. Investing 40 years of living in a certain, compromised way so that the last two weeks of coughing, sputtering agony will be some kind of bow-tie to a cozy narrative is a bad, bad gamble. There’s no payout is there? Just live… Read more »

melmoth
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@SFC Ton, Your bit about the soldiers regarding ‘high ops’ training as a relaxing break from marriage is pretty telling. (I’m understanding you right,yeah?) Anyway it reminded me of a buddy who was a golf pro at a course about two and a half hours from Seattle. I went out there once and he got me on. I noticed that everyone seemed to be from Seattle (you can just tell, plus I golfed with and talked to a few), meaning a 5 hour round trip just to golf. This includes ferry boats, long, narrow drives etc. Everyone knows it rains… Read more »

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