End of Life Issues


I had an interesting experience this weekend with a man I used to do peer counseling with almost ten years ago. The guy’s wife had heard I’d moved back to northern Nevada and asked if I’d spend some time with him as he’s been suffering from cancer, and honestly, he’s in death’s waiting room. He’s late 70s now but when I first started counseling the guy at university he was one of the tougher men I knew in trying to expose to what’s now the Red Pill.

He’s never really accepted the fundamental truths and for literally his entire life he’s been struggling with the frustration that Blue Pill men all do when they simply don’t understand that the set of books they believe women – particularly older women from his generation – should be playing fair by. It was particularly disheartening to listen to him still complain about his wife’s lack of sexual interest in him.

For her part she’d completely checked out of anything intimate with him beyond the perfunctory duties of being civil with her husband years ago. As his illness has progressed he’s become less mobile and more resentful of her indifference to him. From my perspective, coming back into this story after almost ten years, it struck me how a Blue Pill conditioning solidifies into a man’s life in his later years. Revealing the Red Pill truths as to what’s brought him to where he is now is almost too cruel to torture him with, and honestly he wouldn’t accept it.

I’ve always advocated that unplugging men from the Matrix is like triage, save the men you can, read last rites to the dying. For those who don’t come to terms with the Red Pill and the true nature of the realities of the sexual marketplace at least there’s some hope that eventually they will experience something similar to what the Red Pill defines for them and they’ll have pause and insight to reconsider those truths. That’s the bitter taste of the Red Pill – there’s no going back once you start to see the behaviors and relate them to Red Pill principles.

I read guys on the TRP subreddit forum who are newly unplugged who really have a tough time coming to terms with that new reality. They get pissed off, they want to cling to the “it’s not really that bad” or “not all women are like that” conditioning and throw their hands up in disgust with the Red Pill and move on.

Only they can’t. Four months later they come back to the forum after having a woman behave exactly as the theories predicted they would. There’s a manosphere saying that women hate the Red Pill because it more reliably and accurately predicts human behavior than feminism ever has. That Red Pill awareness and predictability is tough to shake for guys who want to go back to the comfort of believing there’s still hope for them in a Blue Pill world.

This Old Man

I realize this is going to get depressing here, but it’s important to consider the totality of what a lifetime of Blue Pill ignorance represents to a man at his end. There are going to be men who will never accept Red Pill truths. They will never make the connection that the rule book they think everyone is working from is a plan with the intent of consuming him all the way to his death-bed. For whatever reason anything counter to their preconception of how women and men ought to relate to one another simply doesn’t register for them.

I’ll continue with my story about this man, but before I do I think that for anyone to have a complete understanding of how what we call Red Pill awareness affects our lives as men we need to consider how that awareness plays out across the span of our lives. Red Pill awareness, what I call positive masculinity, and the counter to a social order founded on the Feminine Imperative is still in its infancy. Some guys want to characterize it as a return to what was once conventional masculine ideals, and while I think that has some merit things simply aren’t going back to what men romanticize they were with women.

In the ‘sphere there’s a particular focus on how men can get the desired results they want in their personal and intimate lives by applying what Red Pill awareness helps them to reasonably predict. That’s fine for PUAs, maybe MGTOWs, and in the meantime MRAs will channel the parts of the Red Pill they do accept to increase awareness of men’s issues. But all of these branches and all of their interests are applied in the now.

My father died from complications of Alzheimers in 2010. My brother and I had him provided for in an assisted living facility for the last year of his life and it got to the point he couldn’t recognize either of us or his grandchildren. It was very difficult to watch my Dad who was a brilliant man, but a life long Beta, decay to a shell of himself. However even while suffering from memory loss, he was still clinging to the behaviors his Blue Pill conditioning taught him would make him appreciated by the other women in the facility.

My Dad taught me the meaning of the Savior Schema throughout most of his life – if that post seems poignant to you it’s because I learned it well from my old man. His ‘dating’ methodology was always based around a strategy of what he could do to better solve, buy or otherwise alleviate the problems a woman had in the hopes that a reciprocated appreciation of it would result in intimacy. The old set of books, he had them memorized.

I mention this because even with his mind addled by dementia some part of his subconscious still expected old women, women he had no idea what their names were, to reciprocate their love and intimacy for doing their gardening or fixing something for them. He couldn’t remember my name, but he could remember being slighted by women not giving him a kiss or patting him on the back ‘for all he did for them.’

This is just one example of the extent and consequences of Blue Pill conditioning. Using Red Pill / Game to pick up or live a better life with women, or extending that awareness to other aspects of one’s life is commendable and a betterment to a man’s life, but appreciating that betterment is incomplete without acknowledging the consequences of what a Blue Pill life path looks like.

When I agreed to spending most of my day with this man I had a kind of idealistic want to create a memorable time for him. He’s still pretty together mentally, but physically the guy can’t walk for more than 30 yards without getting winded. I took him out to the casinos, he hung out with me and some of the guys I snowmobile with, we drank good bourbon and I had hoped he’d get out of this self-pity by just doing something different for him.

He wouldn’t have it. All he could talk about was his resentment of his wife’s treatment of him “after all he’d done for her over the years”. He’ll be gone inside a year or two and he complains about Blue Pill frustrations as if there’s a chance he might live a better life in the future.

Last April I lost one of my most prized greyhounds to osteosarcoma. He was only 8 years old so it was kind of tragic, but I’d had him x-rayed and caught the signs early enough to manage his pain for an extra month before the pain was too much for him. Literally the day I had him put down, to the hour before, he insisted on going outside to walk in the grass and breath the air, he leaned on me like greys do, but it was an acknowledgement of him knowing it was his time. That dog took the last train home with more dignity and self-awareness than this man will.

I’m not a big fan of Abraham Maslow and his hierarchy of needs, but I do accept his concept of having ‘peak experiences’. I think there is a Blue Pill presumption that those peaks are only peaks if they include their ONEitis girlfriend or wife along there to experience it with them. This is a tragedy because it disqualifies those fantastic life experiences (even stressful ones) because that Beta want of a mutually shared love precedes the capacity to recognize those great peaks.

It is important from a larger meta-life experience to understand just what the implications of a Blue Pill existence are and rise above them. Red Pill awareness isn’t just about getting better and hotter women, it’s about living a better life – when you’re 22 and 92.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

144 comments on “End of Life Issues

  1. Was waiting for a blog post this comment would fit the theme of:

    This post seems to sum up how the life a blue pill beta runs.

    Was wondering if you could do a post in the same vein of the Preventative Medicine series about men.

    I’m 27 and while I don’t feel an overwhelmingly strong urge to have children now I imagine I might later on.

    Another interesting observation as an younger adult, I feel like it was much easier for me to desire casual sex than it is now. I find myself having to work harder to get myself out after women and prefer honing my craft (I work in the technology industry) and I have to fight tooth and nail with my beta male hamster to keep from getting too attached and getting oneitis once I get what it feels is a somewhat optimal prospect from spinning plates whereas earlier in life I would have just been like fuck it.

    I feel like it also may be different for men who were more alpha younger where as I was more beta.

    My more alpha friends in my generation have by and large bent to the feminine imperative and married or have long term relationships that the women will almost certainly soon try to clamp down and turn into marriage.

    Is this social programming or is this similar to the way women’s subconscious and primal sexual strategy agenda changes with age?

  2. Reblogged this on Livefearless and commented:
    Why am I using my real name for the project, it’s because of posts like this by Rollo Tomassi. The truths and true science he and his vast research has discovered is the only hope for the concept of marriage between two people, and it’s the only hope for the literal long-term health and survival of most men that choose to be in a loving relationship with a woman.

  3. @enlightenedself

    Maybe the more alpha friends you refer to were, like myself, mostly alpha–but with a healthy dose of solid beta, “Old Book” training. Read Rollo’s “Domain Dependence.” Take a man like what you describe out of his power domain in some way, and he’s ripe for succumbing to the FI social order’s “expectations” of him. I’ll write in detail about my experiences later in this thread about my personal story.

    This particular post really hits me in a deep place. Very well done, Rollo.

  4. First – powerful – great read. This is ironic for me if I may share – there was death in the small county where I grew up recently – my Mother called – she started on about my ‘Godparents’ who are trying to outlive each other. She is 88, he is 90 – Far as they go, my Dad told me this story in the early 1980’s when I was in college had a serious girl, then another girl problem… my Godfather in the early 70’s was choking on the blue pill, went out of town meeting in Florida for two weeks – caught dirty dick – came home, gave it to his wife. My Dad in an effort to have a conversation about sexually transmitted diseases used my ‘Godfather’s problem’ as an example. So the last 45 yrs the poor bastard has been emasculated, retreated into his garden, but still worked his ass off and provided for his wife (doesn’t work) and their two children including college, and is now wasting away, waiting to die or outlive the bitch. My Mother doesn’t even like her, but there is this devotion to those she grew up with – even though they have nothing in common. When I was a young boy I even knew they were fucked up. It all looked perfect on the outside. I have to believe these miserable lives were byproducts of religion and public shame from the times.

  5. At what point do you think it becomes too late for a man to take the red pill? Or does it vary depending on the man’s age and circumstances?

  6. It doesn’t matter what your age–get busy digesting the Red Pill. It’s an ugly and unpleasant process, so the faster the better. As the post above illustrates, better to take “that last train with dignity” than to die in ignoble compromise believing a terrible lie.

  7. Being red pill and accepting death when a life was well lived and not crying at a funeral seem to to go hand in hand. Being blue pill and having unresolved issues in life or death and crying at a funeral seem to go hand in hand.

    Freenortherner’s essay, Die When You are Done, although rambling like Rollo’s essay above, has germs of truth.


    I helped put my father in the ground yesterday.

    I decided to speak in the funeral service for my father for the sake of me, my mother and my brothers. I worked hard and did 25 revisions of my talk, ran it by my mother. Took out all the negatives and then plied my wife’s English teacher with wine for two hours to make sense of it and cut and simplify it–and she applied well the 4th Law of Power, Always Say Less Than Necessary.

    I didn’t shed a tear for my dad, red pill truth. He was good at being a man up until 1975. Then he became a “Good Man”. Notice the timing. That is when equalist feminism took hold. He lived life great as an INTP, non-judging person, while I had an INTJ judging persona.

    My father lived a full life and died on his expiration date. Not too soon, not too late. His mind was good till the last three days.

    Odd thing he died on his wedding anniversary of around about 58 years (he was 83), a date I totally forgot until during the funeral. Another cousin at the funeral said that the day he died was also his mother’s birthdate (she died at 93 Y.O) On the way home from the funeral in the worst white-out snowstorm possible, my wife related that her dad died on the same day as his wife’s birthday, which ended up as an odd scene on the dual tombstone.

    My words at the funeral:

    Thank You Father xxxx Thank you xxxxx Church and all who have joined here today for this ceremony to celebrate, respect, bless and remember the life of xxxxxxxx, my Father.
    I’d like to say a few words about my Dad:
    Yogi Berra said that the game is 90% mental and the other half is physical. We’ve all felt that at times.
    Well my dad never got the memo.
    He lived as if life were 140% mental.
    He valued knowledge above all else. He sought out patterns and logical explanations for anything that interested him.
    Dad grew up poor and lost his father at a young age. In his adolescence and young adulthood he found out that he, The Thinker, had a way out of those two misfortunes.
    He was encouraged by a Catholic xxxxxx nun to attend college. He was convinced by a friend to go to Dental school which he financed by working as a pharmacist.
    Dad was a self-made man who excelled at thinking and his intellect supported a long life of passions, supported a family, and allowed him to master his finances and to retire from work while he was still young enough to live life to the fullest.
    Because of his value for education, we were educated at two of the best schools xxxxxx had to offer. xxxxxx and xxxxxxxxx. And then he supported us in our college educations and professional schools. For him knowledge was key, but he never lectured to us. He did his best to give us a great education and the tolerance and freedom and resources to acquire it.
    Throughout our childhood, adolescence and adulthood, if we wanted to learn from him about how to be a good man all we had to do was watch what he did.
    I still remember my first memory of dad. November 24th, 1963. Sunday.
    I was 2 ½ years old. I sat in the new-to-us xxxxxxx avenue living room (we just moved in in September that year), eating donuts and watching President Kennedy’s funeral caisson travel from the White house to the Capital with the rider less horse and the only sound low drum beats. It was a 12 inch red plastic TV. I remember Dad was calm cool and collected that day. He and Mom and Jeff and I were ensconced in what turned out to be our ideal house, in our ideal neighborhood watching the aftermath of a tragedy. Despite the national grief and the political turmoil of the 60’s, I remember the feeling of comfort and security my Dad provided. That was the tone he set for my brothers from then on.

    Raising 4 boys was difficult. But Dad had the courage to provide plenty of adventure in the 1970’s.
    I saw Dad’s ability to keep a cool head in the face of a difficult complicated plan when in 1971 Dad packed 4 boys from ages 6 to 12 and his reluctant wife who was skeptical of the impending trip in a 1967 Chevy Impala and traveled the western United States.
    For a whole month. 5000 miles
    His TripTik travel planner took us to the Grand Canyon, Disneyland, Orange County, San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge, The Redwood Forest, Yosemite, Salt Lake City, the Grand Tetons, The Rockies, Denver and the Great Plains, Mount Rushmore and of course the Corn Palace in Mitchell, South Dakota. (couldn’t miss that). We saw all the major western landmarks all in one big epic journey.
    Even after 3 flat tires, winter camping conditions unprepared for in the mountains of Yellowstone and the lack of laundry service my father never lost his patience or his resolve to complete the journey for him and his family.
    His many other travel adventures for us in the 70’s, when we were adolescents, demonstrated, to me, his Courage to explore and made our lives richer from then on. With him we visited New England, camped and fished in remote northern Canada, the Great Lakes, and Smoky Mountains. Washington D.C. Pretty much explored the whole country.

    There is nothing he couldn’t master if he tried. And he tried. Dentistry, photography, beekeeping, trap and skeet shooting, stock investing, gardening, golf, carpentry, oil painting, real estate investing and so on. In all these hobbies he didn’t just want to participate, he wanted to master them.

    Dad had honor among his friends. And he readily sought out friends to discuss ideas with. He liked others for their minds and abilities, not their status in life or their possessions. It wasn’t easy to become good friends with him but if there was a common interest and a common train of thought, he sparked an instant connection. And those connections were numerous in his life. His stock picking club, his Little Flower Men’s club, golf buddies, trout fishing club buddies, master gardener club, the UTMC pastoral care volunteers. He had tons of friends. He was a good friend to many.

    My father- in- law, An Artist, lived a great wonderful life by looking for happy accidents to occur in his artwork and paintings.
    My dad, however, lived his life by the adage: Seriously, don’t let accidents happen to you. Nothing was happy about an accident. Master your outcome. Arrange it before-hand.
    Despite their different outlooks on how things come to you in life, both great men shared a common philosophy of life that is best expressed through an excerpt from a Christian blogger named Freenortherner:
    Live to struggle for your mission, struggle to live for as long as you are able to advance your mission. Then allow yourself to die. Don’t drag it out, don’t fight it; go to the grave knowing you gave your all for what mattered to you.
    That is when you should die, when you can rest peacefully knowing you have done everything you could and there is nothing more to do.

    Our families are grateful to have had him as our patriarch.
    We love him and he will be dearly missed.

  8. Not the faster the better, but the earlier the better. No one is saying you have to digest all of the unpleasant truths in an evening and deal with the depression it inevitably causes within a day.

    You can’t live your life ignorant of yourself and expect to have any satisfaction. Red pill truths are supposed to reveal the realities of some of your (all of our) own base motivations, and in doing this inform your decisions and future behavior well enough that you don’t end up 94 years old and still clinging to lies.

    Watching someone die when they’re clearly self-aware is sad because you’ll miss them.

    Watching someone die when they’re still clinging to bullshit is sad because they missed out.

  9. @Retrenched

    I’d say that while there’s no such thing as “too late” for TRP, there’s almost always “I wish I had known sooner.” I know that’s certainly my case at 38. Woulda saved me a lot of heartache and pain.

  10. @Sun

    True enough. Try it at 48. I’d love to have those ten years back in an RP frame. That’s why I always advocate for faster. Earlier is better, but faster is often a necessity for late comers to the real game.

  11. You know? I hate the Red Pill for waking me up to just how consumed I had been. But I’m grateful I woke up in my 28th year of life.

    These bitches would have NEVER let me have my life the way I wanted it.

    After reading this article all i can say is thank you Rollo. My future looks disjointed, but I’m finally putting the pieces together.

  12. Maybe slightly off topic, (is hypergamy ever off topic?) but here’s a website that gives you a glimpse into what women desire.

    The website essentially keeps track of convos from handsome guys to girls on Tinder and the results are, well…let’s just say, I’m sure you guys will get a kick out of this:


    I’ve seen this type of stuff before but this really takes the cake. Women completely disregard most of your inadequacies if you fulfill her alpha fucks pre-requisites (namely,good looks).

    It blew my mind how the guys on that page would fuck up heavily, and at times, essentially run anti-game and still pull the girls numbers. Now obviously, all numbers won;t lead to bangs but it’s the desire these women show that really drives the point home here. There’s a lot of insight in that website if you read between the lines.

    When a girl withholds her sexual best from you, she knows exactly what she’s doing. I believe it is women who are really the rational sex in many ways and men tend to be the idealistic sex. Rollo has covered this before but I’m afraid the extent to this is probably much more deeper than we would imagine…

  13. I was so lucky to have been RPed by the first GF at age 18. I have never had to be resentful or consider it anything other than gravity or electromagnetism.

    I can still get the fm juicing with a few choice words, “Be my doormat.” I’m 70. Heh.

  14. By adopting the Red Pill and being a guy who “gets it”…Girls are now much more up front with their own “needs”…I just had a girl I’m banging text me: “I wanna fuck”….this was unthinkable for me 5 years ago or more.

    It wouldn’t have made sense that a girl I know and have been banging but am otherwise indifferent to would just text. The next time we saw each other, she brought me a little gift…

    Women come and go in my life now. Some I like more than others but the concept of “oneitis” is slowly fading as I stop my Blue Pill thinking that there’s a “special one”. The idea there is a “one” out there… was preventing me from fixing myself.

  15. BTW for those of you interested –> you should look up what cannabis can do for cancer – high CBD, high THC oil. Or what it can do for Alzheimer’s.

    And for others – better than Viagra. Provided you have the dominance to create interest.

  16. I’m only 30 but I can really identify w this article. At times I’m in a zone and I only seem to care about myself and my own things and this is where I find myself in my own alpha state but I find it really hard for me to maintain this state. And its the beta-ness that really seems to take over most the time. I feel I’m getting better but its coming through trial and error and for as much as I have read these articles I can’t seem to make them stick in real life situations, much like the old man who after years of counseling still has a blue pill disposition. Even if I agree w the articles while I read them or even if I have already seen the behaviors red pill predicts in my own situation, I still for the life of me find myself baffled in many situations w my girl and how to handle myself in those situations. Anybody else feel the same way, or have any solid advice on how to naturally culminate myself into a more “aware” man? Its as if my own emotions take over completely no matter the amount of knowledge I manage to pick up in these red pill discussions.

  17. migs
    February 16th, 2015 at 2:29 am

    You have to loose respect for women. Read “Surely You are Joking, Mr. Feynman” and the chapter I believe is “You Just Ask Them.”

    If you can maintain your RP you may eventually find one who is willing to give up her self respect to be with you. To be totally submissive. But you have to train them for that. It takes time. It is the opposite of “oneitis”. On the female side it is “bestitis” – she has found the best possible man she can find. At least in her mind. And she will submit to hold on.

    “Lets go on a girl hunt. I feel like some new pussy.” “Yes, Dear. I want you to be happy.”

  18. I caught a glimpse of an old facebook message from my last girlfriend and noticed her last name had changed. My my learned instinct being to pace around and consume myself with the possibilities of whether she still thought of me or not,I force myself to stay up and work for an extra hour on a project. reading this post couldn’t have come at a better time, I thank you for reminding me that’s struggling against my maladapted blue pill patterns is a fight worthy of continuing

  19. The sufficiently intelligent men who are presented with the red pill, but still chose the blue one, to continue using the Matrix movie terminology = are called “ciphers”. I have no sympathy for contemporary ciphers whatsoever, but I’m not so harsh on those who were products of different times. Because the old men of today came up of age in VASTLY different America… one that was much more aligned with that thought, and those kinds of doing things.

    The end of life issue is a microcosm of universal human condition, and the most brutal question that humans ask themselves: What is the point of it all? So at the end of human life you want to feel some notion (however flimsy) that it was all worth it. The last thing a dying man wants to hear is that bitches are sluts, that love is a joke, and that everything is an illusion.

    Ultimately, however, the death itself IS the ultimate red pill.

    But everything else is a hope (a luxury that dogs don’t have), and hope is an ultimate blue pill.

    So unless you blow your brains out with a shotgun, do not think that you have a choice.

  20. Sad story. I guess it’s better late than never when it comes to discovering red pill truths, but the swallowing I guess gets harder the older you are. I mean, imagine being 75 and discovering that you’ve managed your marriage the wrong way your entire life. There literally is no time anymore to do anything about it. That’s though. I’m 45 and I sure wish I had known this 20 years ago. But at least I.have some quality time left on this earth to apply this knowledge to my advantage. And of course I will be passing this on to my sons. But I don’t think I’ll rock the boat with my father, who is 74. He seems pretty OK as far as I can tell, but I’d hate to see him in a depression over this, without any real options to remediate it.

  21. In my early 30s right now and as my friends all settle down I get pretty much no end of “don’t you want someone who loves you unconditionally forever” and “you’re going to die alone” etc.

    Thing is this:

    1) There’s no guarantee living the good BP beta life will have anyone there for you at the end of your life. I’m pretty sure Hugh Hefner the socialite playboy is going to have a LOT more love around him on his deathbed than Bob the accountant who’s wife divorced him and turned his kids against him (or died before him) and they’re busy with their own lives and can’t be bothered to check in on him more than once a month after they ship him off to the old folks home to sit there watching Wheel of Fortune day in and day out with a bunch of old people the majority of whom wasted their life sitting on a couch watching TV working some shitty job they hate instead of going out and living life.

    2) If you take care of your body you can be pretty damn healthy into your old age. I’m getting more into healthy eating and exercise these days as I fully commit to living the PUA life till 45 minimum. Van Damme is 54 and in better shape than I’ll ever be.

    And I mean look at this shit:


    I tried a Tai Chi pattern for fun a little while ago and I was surprised that it actually forced me to use some muscle (lots of squatted thighs and holding your arms up and out unsupported through the whole thing) and focus on balance and rotate my limbs through full ranges of motion etc. Like no wonder those old Chinese people doing this shit daily are often pretty mobile, they’re getting a decent daily workout that involves keeping their joints mobile and limber. I’ll probably take it up when I turn 45.

    Throw in a healthy diet of lots of raw foods and tea and shit and social acceptance of exercise (like in the comments for that video: “I wish it was more like this here. In my efforts to exercise in public the vibe I get is like I am perceived as doing something inappropriate,or causing a spectacle, or asking for trouble, or showing off, or being immature. Even when there is a pull-up bar at the park people act like it is something outrageous,bold or even menacing to see someone exercising with any vigour. This should change we should have outdoor public exercise stations at all parks big and small and encourage people to use them. “) and that video isn’t that crazy a surprise.

    Meanwhile this is our kids:


    Who become this.


    Those are my fucking PEERS. Those are what people think of when you say “mid-30s”. That’s why girls are always shocked at my age and put me at around 28 max. Because I don’t look or act like these guys. I can’t even relate to these guys.

    And then we’re shocked we end up like this:


    We just treat our bodies like shit over here. Abuse the fuck out of them and then spend our old age useless. I would bet any one of those old chinese people exercising in the park has a more interesting social life with friends/loved ones than anyone in that nursing home pic.

    3) I look around at the people I know and I am CONSISTENTLY on a day to day basis, overall happier than any of them…often by SIGNIFICANT amounts. Like they may have a good day or two every month or so, less frequently if they’ve been married for a while and are 35+…but that’s just a Tuesday to me. I love my life and see nothing but awesomeness in my future. To me everyone else just seems various degrees of miserable and dissatisfied and frustrated with their lives. Most of them are off purpose, most of them are living the lives other people pressured them into living, most of them know they’re not happy but don’t know how to fix it or don’t have the strength of will to go through the pain period of fixing it…everyone is just walking around in scarcity and lower-consciousness thinking.

    I will take 60 years of day to day happiness and joy and adventures and awesome memories socializing and meeting women and making friends with the risk of a few years of loneliness toward the end when I’m too senile to remember anyone visiting me anyway, than a lifetime of slavery, misery and frustration and dissatisfaction complaining over beers and wings with my other fat unsatisfied buddies as we sit on the couch watching the superbowl eating pizza with the dice roll chance of someone coming by to “do their duty” making idle chit-chat for an hour before ditching me for another month when I spend 10 years crippled over helpless being wheeled around from the TV set to the greasy buffet in an old folks home.

    Every guy, when he hits 30, should be required to look up all the hot girls and all the guys they remember from high school on Facebook/etc. and see what they’ve become. The women will all look brutal, despite being only 30 like them, and the men will all be working shitty jobs, fat, sadness in their eyes, no goals or ambition, etc.

    If someone wants me to take up the Blue Pill life, then they’re gonna have to show me examples of dudes who are killing it living that life. ’cause from where I’m standing, even in my early 30s I am living a more exciting life than 90% of the guys my age and if one of them and I both keeled over tomorrow, he would have at best his wife who can barely even stand him at his funeral and a couple of her friends he’s gone to brunch with (’cause he’s not allowed to hang out with his buddies anymore, he ditched them for her or she told him he’s not allowed to hang out with them anymore), and I would have a dozen girls who all wish they could have been my GF, a bunch of random dudes from my social circle who liked hanging out with me, and a few good bros-for-life that know me better than a wife who’s love is based on the condition that I never share my problems or fears, would ever know me.

    But hey, maybe I’m just rationalizing. What I really need is a feminist or blue pill guy who can’t get his wife to fuck him to tell me what will REALLY make me happy. lol

  22. Its never too late, ever. I took it a year ago nearing 29 and am so fucking glad. as i approach 30, i start seeing as a helter skelter scramble by women to settle by the “magic” age of 30 and a certain amount of men feeling under pressure too.

    Side note: Someone sold a great myth to society that 30 is the magic number to settle and have kids, esp. to women. The blog on the myth of the biological clock comes to mind.

    I can only speculate that if i was still blue pill I might have felt this pressure too. In my idealistic dreams i wish i could awaken more men in my circle, but there drowning in Blue Pill ideas, too invested in it to unplug and would reject any facts I’d show them.

    My younger brother is someone I’d like to awaken, and i know, like me he’s seen his own share of what I’d call ‘disturbances in the matrix’ but like me earlier and probably most men, he hasn’t pieced them together (joined the dots) or questioned them enough to see what lies underneath.

  23. Rollo, great, and deep post.

    Two things stuck out to me, re: my own RP awareness the last 10 years or so (I’m mid 40s):

    1. My formerly RP father, whose life tracks like Don Draper/Madmen, fully absorbed the blue pill mid-1970s,when I was a child. He is in his mid 70s now and still doing everything he can to keep my mom, happy. Hard to believe they started off as bible thumping Southerners who came of age in the late 1950s. He is a shell of himself, but seems to have convinced himself that it’s the “right” life for him–she’s happy, so it must be. He literally has to “check” with her on communications from me and my brother (we are estranged from them, mostly).

    2. Re: Work: Whether there ever was one set of books, or two, or an “old” set, or the ONLY set, RP philosophy branches out even into work. I’ve seen guys at the end of their careers, who, like the dying man, think there will be some “payoff” for their hard work…some promotion, or recognition, that if ONLY they stay that extra weekend to work, or do this or that project, they will get the petty promotion. Instead, even when dealing with other men (PARTICULARLY Betas), they (MGT) will go out and “bang” the other guy (giving HIM the promotion). I don’t suggest that folks don’t strive to be all they can, or to achieve, but NEVER put your stock in work, any more than a woman, because ultimately, she/they will let you down and there will be no reciprocation or lamentations at your loss or moving on.

  24. “He’ll be gone inside a year or two and he complains about Blue Pill frustrations as if there’s a chance he might live a better life in the future.”

    That one hit me in the face. Great post Rollo.

  25. @Miggs – “Anybody else feel the same way, or have any solid advice on how to naturally culminate myself into a more “aware” man? Its as if my own emotions take over completely no matter the amount of knowledge I manage to pick up in these red pill discussions.”

    In my experience, emotional and instinctive redpill behaviors lag behind intellectual understanding a fair degree. For me, by about six months more or less. Earlier than that, I could resolve things and say redpill truths but it always came across as incongruous because I couldn’t really ‘live up to’ them yet.

    The lag time can be measured from the time you are first called to apply something. So, for instance, when I first found the RP I was in a relationship where the girl’s sexual interest in me was sporadic. It took me about six months to congruently act more attractive, even though I understood what I had to do about six months before that.

    When the relationship ended, I talked redpill about it – about how I saw I needed to only allow people in relationship with me if they added to my life, and were actively trying to be there – but still found myself needy and pining for 6-8 months afterwards. Still see her sometimes, and predictably since I finally got past it my charisma and presence affects her strongly, where no degree of faking it before could have.

    I don’t think there are any shortcuts, really. You just need to be sure you’re exposing yourself to situations that require you to practice.

    I’ve also found it useful to plumb out potential reasons why I may have been so BP in the first place and re-think early relationships and how they affected me. You can’t change your past but it can be fruitful to reprocess it.

  26. Rollo takes the dying man out and he wouldn’t have fun… “All he could talk about was his resentment of his wife’s treatment of him “after all he’d done for her over the years”.

    For me, that was the hardest part of internalizing the red pill. I’ve read Rollo’s “Appreciation” post at least ten times. Even more than the way woman love (or don’t love), that fundamental inability to appreciate the endless, tedious, little shit things we do is what drove me nuts. It seems totally opposite to basic humanity; how difficult is a heart felt “Thank you, I appreciate it”.

    From Rollo:


    “I think what most men uniquely deceive themselves of is that they will ultimately be appreciated by women for their sacrifices. Learn this now, you won’t. You can’t be because women fundamentally lack the ability to fully realize, much less appreciate the sacrifices a man makes to facilitate her reality. Even the most enlightened, appreciative woman you know still operates in a feminne-centric reality. Men making the personal sacrifices necessary to honor, respect and love her are commonplace. You’re supposed to do those things. You sacrificed your ambitions and potential to provide her with a better life? You were supposed to. You resisted temptation and didn’t cheat on your wife with the hot secretary who was DTF and ready to go? You were supposed to. Your responsibilities to maintaining a marriage, a home, your family, etc. are common – they’re expected. They are only appreciated in their absence.”

    I’m still coming to grips with that, but if any Blue Pill man can truly accept it; you’re almost home.

  27. @YaReally

    “What I really need is a feminist or blue pill guy who can’t get his wife to fuck him to tell me what will REALLY make me happy”

    Had a new middle manager above me tell me that I needed exactly this after he decided to start a philosophical debate with me. To quote him after he became flustered with my having thought very deeply about the subject already: “You need to find a woman so you won’t have so much time to think about this shit.”

    I already had no respect for the guy because he’d already invoked the condescending “You won’t understand till you have children of your own” canard (fuck everyone that ever uses that argument), but then to posit Oneitis as the solution to the “problem” of my philosophical thoroughness is Blue Pill Extreme.

    It is quite literally using marriage as an excuse to let yourself go mentally as well as physically. Disgusting.

  28. Powerful post, Rollo… It truly does amaze me how some men will just never get it. So sad. I’m so grateful that my brother did, I don’t think I could bear watching him go through life like I’ve seen other beta friends do (the self-pity, the constant “need” of a woman to complete them or make their lives great). It’s just so hard to accept that some will go to their death bed still “not getting it.” 🙁

    I guess the counter to it would be women who “Just Don’t Get It” … that to be attractive to the best men, they must put in effort, make themselves as attractive as possible, lose weight (go against the cultural fat acceptance aspect of feminism), and learn how to be appealing to men. I’m watching women who are still stuck in a (I guess) blue pill kind of thinking of “he should love me for ME! I shouldn’t have to “LOSE weight” ( insert: wear lingerie, learn to be appealing, stop being a slut… etc etc etc) – how dare anyone think that!”

  29. ‘I guess the counter to it would be women who “Just Don’t Get It” … that to be attractive to the best men, they must put in effort, make themselves as attractive as possible, lose weight (go against the cultural fat acceptance aspect of feminism), and learn how to be appealing to men. I’m watching women who are still stuck in a (I guess) blue pill kind of thinking of “he should love me for ME! I shouldn’t have to “LOSE weight” ( insert: wear lingerie, learn to be appealing, stop being a slut… etc etc etc) – how dare anyone think that!”’

    Women have their own delusions of what makes women attractive to men. Feminism has taught women that achievement and education in women matter to men.

    Thermonuclear Truth Bomb: To all women: No man has ever gotten a chubby because a woman has a masters degree from Harvard. Men don’t give a shit about a woman’ achievement or education. If she is ugly, a Harvard degree will not make up for it (on the other hand, it can for a man to some degree). Women are projecting: They find this quality desirable and attractive in a man, and assume men find this quality arousing in a woman as well.

    Too many women think that they can date and run their lives like men until they are 29, and then decide to pick exactly the man they want to marry. Not gonna happen. A woman at 30 years old absolutely will not pull the same men that she did at 20. There is a small fraction of women aged 20-24 that “get it”, is on her A-game with her girl-game, and are on their kamikaze mission to lock down the exact man that they want for marriage. An older 30+ women will not be able to butt heads with a younger woman like this no matter how much education and achievement the older woman has. A younger woman is like a drug to a man, and she can turn any man into jello, and no way can an older woman do this in the same way. Too many women waste the prime years of their lives of maximum appeal (aged 28 – 25) on men that they really don’t like or could get commitment from. Then when they are older, they have to settle for a man, instead of picking the exact man that they want.

  30. ” His ‘dating’ methodology was always based around a strategy of what he could do to better solve, buy or otherwise alleviate the problems a woman had…”

    We have an evolved instinct to do that, probably both by sexual selection and reproductive success selection.

    “… in the hopes that a reciprocated appreciation of it would result in intimacy. ”

    This is the mistake.
    It is a result of this over grown cerebral cortex that makes us tell ourselves all kinds of silly things about why we do what we do.

  31. Jack LeBear: “This is the mistake.
    It is a result of this over grown cerebral cortex that makes us tell ourselves all kinds of silly things about why we do what we do.”

    Good observation. The appreciation gambit is really a form of projection of masculine tendencies onto women, as well as a rationalization for doing what we feel compelled to.

  32. I saw my grandpa die over a two year period. He gave me his wings from WWII before he went downhill. It was a nightmare. He didn’t know who anyone was and was shitting everywhere, etc., cycled through tons of caretakers because he was abusing all of them, either physically or verbally (usually both) and they wouldn’t tolerate it.

    I’ve been into health and nutrition for as long as I can remember, but there’re no guarantees. There are people that smoke and drink into their 90’s and have few health problems, and other people that never over-indulged in anything that die in their 60’s or earlier.

    As Warren Zevon said…

    “some get the awful, awful diseases
    some get the knife, some get the gun
    and some get to die in their sleep
    at the age of a hundred and one

    life’ll kill ya, that’s what I said
    life’ll kill ya, and then you’ll be dead
    life’ll find you wherever you go
    requiescat in pace: that’s all she wrote”

    I have the power to help people with the skills that I have, but I can only help people if they let me. The skills I have are completely useless if I don’t use them. And some people have no interest.

    Even after finding this blog, it took me some additional horrible experiences for it to “click.”

    Just knowing about The Red Pill isn’t enough. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.

    I don’t blame myself for not ‘wising up.’ I don’t even know if I could have. I had to get LJBF’d harder than I ever had in my life by a girl I had ONE-itis for to wake up.

    That snapped me out of it. For whatever reason it was the straw that broke the camel’s back. And I never looked back after that.

    Having Red Pill knowledge helped that process a lot. I don’t think I would’ve changed so much if it wasn’t for the fact that I had TRP on hand by the time I got LJBF’d.

    I remember obsessively scanning this blog and the book for everything on ONE-itis, especially everything on “friendships” I could find.

    I was obsessed. Completely. It’s bizarre looking back on it because I was completely utterly obsessed with this girl even after she rejected me, and now I don’t care.

    It’s like I was another person. Once she LJBF’d me it was like a switch went off in my head, and then TRP REALLY started sinking in.

    I don’t know what other guys are like. Some can go through divorces after being treated like shit for years and years and still not be receptive to TRP.

    I do think planting the seed is worthwhile. Like I said, if I didn’t have any Red Pill knowledge…I don’t think I would’ve recovered.

    Ironically red pill knowledge wasn’t enough to keep me from getting LJBF’d — it wasn’t enough to make me just stop talking to her. I had to get some cold hard rejection to get it through my head.

    I can’t even believe the personal transformation I’ve gone through. A lot of that owed to TRP.

    I can write about my past experiences but I feel like I’m writing about another person entirely. It’s kind of bizarre.

    Anyway, yeah. I’m focusing on saving myself. I’ve directed only a couple people to this blog. I didn’t direct a couple other people I considered directing here because my personal analysis of them was….they wouldn’t be able to handle it.


    I feel like I’m still spitting up water after almost drowning, in a way. A huge sense of relief lately after TRP is finally sinking in, but still wiped out from how much damage the blue pill was causing me. I’ve been in recuperation and rebuild and reinvent mode.

    Especially considering where I’m coming from, and all the shit I’ve gone through, I’m taking time to focus completely on myself. I’ll worry about helping other guys when I’m healed myself. Best to lead by example IMO. Even if you’re not intending to teach, you’ll teach.

    We’ve all known ‘that guy’ that we wished we were. If you make yourself into that guy you’re an inspiration by default.

    I’m personally enjoying my newfound freedom. Just the peace of mind of being free from ONE-itis and other delusions about women. I feel like I’m a free man within the safety and privacy of my own mind. Before I felt like a slave to my brain.

    That shouldn’t be taken lightly. I think a lot of men miss that. Forget women for a minute. Completely. Even getting laid. Just forget it. And focus on how great it feels to actually feel free. No woman pulling the strings and making you dance like a puppet. You’re free to do what you want.

    Again…that shouldn’t be taken lightly. The value in that can’t be put into words.

  33. Thanks Mr. Tomassi! I just discovered your writing a week or so ago, am choking on the RP but will get it down. (62 years old – 6 years post-divorce) For however much time is allotted to me, I intend to live fearlessly and set an example.
    Thanks also to all of you commenters. If my experiences merit it I hope I can share them as generously and coherently as you have and be equally encouraging. Pardon in advance if an earlier version of this comment posts due to my inexperience here…just consider me twice as grateful.

  34. In a case like this, I don’t see the regret of wishing I knew sooner if the red pill finally takes hold this late in life, as worse than the resentment for how things should be and how they are that a man like him will take to the grave. It would actually be much better.

    You’re never too old to learn is true. With a situation like this, there just may not be time to for some understanding to sink in. Which wouldn’t do any more harm or cause any more anguish than he’s already carrying for someone who’s well aware of limited time, but can’t get past his resentment with how things turned out with his wife for the sake of enjoying that limited time.
    No matter what kind of problem a man has had, what could have puzzled or frustrated him, even if getting a solution to that problem is no longer practical, there will still be an appreciation for being shown a solution to it. Or some insight to dealing with it. No matter where or how long after, men always appreciate a “at least now I know” moment.

    A little levity. In sifrelk’s comment-“Freenortherner’s essay, Die When You are Done, although rambling like Rollo’s essay above, has germs of truth.
    Was the comma supposed to go right after “rambling”?

  35. Enlightenedself:

    Getting married is not, by itself, “blue pill”.

    The point of the post is, at least to me, that you live the life YOU want. Knowing the truth (i.e. red pill) enables you to identify what you want and what it will take to get it. You then decide if you want to do those things that will get you what you want.

    So, getting married isn’t blue pill. You marry when you want, in the way you want, to a woman who meets your requirements, in a marital relationship that gives you what you want/need/desire as well as well as gives those things to her. Or you don’t marry. That’s red pill.

    Getting married is only blue pill if done for the wrong reasons – to a woman who isn’t what you want. Because she wants to. Because you don’t want to be alone. Because you think it’s the only way you’re going to get sex. Because you think you should. You remain in a marriage that doesn’t meet your wants/needs/desires. You remain in a marriage where your needs take a backseat to everyone else’s needs all the time. That’s blue pill.

  36. @Tony232

    “All or nothing or they walk.”

    No. They walk if you give them everything. They walk if you give them nothing. They walk if you half ass it. Hypergamy doesn’t care how much you give. If she’s gonna walk, she’s gonna walk. This is why outcome independence, while really tough to learn, is so important to men. You have to not give a fuck about the long term results with a woman and just get what you can while the gettin is good.

    My ex that dumped me over two years ago was the last bitch that hurt me by bailing. I’ve had a couple since I started spinning plates that bailed on me, and I dropped all the plates I was spinning as of a few weeks ago. I didn’t care what happened or how they reacted. If one would have gone full out psycho, I have a lawyer and a gun; I will react with the force required to protect myself legally and physically. Emotionally I am untouchable. Part of it is from RP lessons, and part of it is from being burned enough times to instinctively distrust all women.

    It is possible to remain outcome independent, even in an LTR. Just because some men can’t comprehend doing it themselves doesn’t mean it isn’t possible or desirable.

  37. Yes, a new comma should have been inserted after “rambling”. I’m not very good at being articulate.

  38. @Tony232
    That video was fucking cringe-worthy. I watched his vids and just have a constant cringe-face planted on. If anyone wants to see what “incongruency” looks like, listen to this guy talk about “getting those pussies” and “clits on your tongue” holy hell lol

    I like MGTOW but I think MGTOW needs more Luimarcos who are bridging the gap between killing it with exercise/career and learning enough Red Pill to date without getting attached or only allow relationships on their own terms and understand how the dynamics change when you have a kid or legal contract or make her your only focus where she knows you can’t easily walk away from her. But a lot of MGTOWs refuse to even look at that kind of stuff and just immediately write it all off as “pussy begging”.

    This is the exact guy who would make fun of PUAs and call us all guys supplicating to the power of pussy and chasing it and we’re all gonna get hurt and be sad and bla bla and you have to lie to get women because women won’t stick around in a relationship where you aren’t settling down (because he and other MGTOWs either haven’t TRIED that or if they have they’ve done it in that spergy MGTOW way of “I DON’T WANT ANY COMMITMENT IF U ARENT OK WITH THAT THEN FUCK OFF” instead of a smooth slick rapport/comfort way that a good PUA does where you ease her into accepting it without lying by showing her from the start that you can see other women and still make time for her if she deserves it).

    Thing is if you want people to follow your lead, then you gotta’ be someone they want to be. I don’t think I could spend ten minutes in a room with this guy without backing out slowly cringing (skip to 22:55 for a shitshow):


    This guy looks just miserable. A lot of MGTOWs on YouTube sound just seethingly raging under the surface. I listen to them because I like a lot of MGTOW concepts (a lot of it aligns with PUA/MRA/etc.) but some of them I just can’t listen to because I picture a guy like this just raging in his basement, or the reverse a happy asexual jolly out of shape type dude who’s just checked out completely from interacting with women.

    “Pussy obsessed” or not I would much rather be around guys like this:





    Here’s some lower energy guys:



    Hell here’s a 50yo PUA coach:


    Who put out inspiring messages like this for men instead of these weird hopeless angry basement rants:


    Ya some of them have faggy vibes lol but it’s healthy to be out socializing and interacting with women. As long as you understand the dynamics at work that cause one-itis and avoid the pitfalls, it’s fine. Pitbulls are fine dogs to own if you understand what you’re doing to minimize the risks.

    Hell, Tyler has 2 cute kids and a long-term Primary GF with no legal marriage contract, and is not only out banging other girls with full permission but his GF has 3-somes with him. Will he get burned down the road? Maybe. But if he’s gonna end up as depressing as the guy in that video is at 50, I’d rather have Tyler’s memories to keep me warm at night than this angry guy lol

    Who’s having more fun in life in general? This guy who’s putting out angry rants in his basement about how evil women are, or guys who are like “ya girls can be trouble but I set the type of relationship I want and move on if she doesn’t fulfill that deal, no big deal there are plenty of other girls out there as long as I don’t let my value drop Hypergamy should keep her around and if not I can choose from a hundred other girls who’d love the chance to be my GF if she bails.”

    MGTOW needs guys like Luimarco to make MGTOW look cool/fun/admirable, they shouldn’t be shitting on him. Ya he needs some schooling in how to avoid LTR problems and how to smoothly make a casual “live in separate apartments, no marriage” arrangement work long-term…but like, MGTOW should either incorporate a bit of PUA game into it, just enough to be able to interact with women and set the frame of a relationship and adhere to it without letting their emotions overrun logic, or lay off guys like Lui who aren’t terrified of being in the same room with women.

    If I’m some 18yo kid and I watch the videos above and look at the pitches from PUA and MGTOW, which guys would I rather be hanging out with? Who looks like they enjoy life day to day? Who seems like a good influence? Who’s mindsets do I want to have when I’m 50? Who seems like they’re going to end up miserable on their death bed and who seems like they’re going to look back on the adventures they’ve had with a smile from ear to ear?

    I like MGTOW in general, and I’m glad men are making a choice to bail from the plantation, but I think the “no women at ALL!!!” mentality is going to hold it back. MGTOWs don’t need full PUA knowledge but personally I think if they promoted a few articles about how one-itis and Hypergamy and purpose affect LTR attraction and handling shit-tests in LTRs etc, they would be a lot more appealing to young men looking for guidance who don’t want to just shut their boners down and be asexual like some of these older MGTOWs have.

  39. “Red Pill awareness isn’t just about getting better and hotter women, it’s about living a better life – when you’re 22 and 92.”

    My father is desperately blue pill, he also has the old set of books memorized, and he is very obviously angry that he isn’t rewarded with the respect and intimacy from my mother, that he expects, and thinks he deserves. Watching him with my new red pill world view has been sad, but also instructive.

    As a married man, my goal isn’t to get women, but it is to live a better life.
    I often find myself flipping between the blue pill and red pill mindset, but hopefully this will decrease with time. I am learning from the lessons I see in my father and others like him, I no longer expect the old set of books to be an effective strategy for me.

    Whenever I find myself choking on the red pill, all I have to do is look at the relationships around me and see how accurate the red pill predictions are; it doesn’t take away the bitter taste, but it does remind me to get busy accepting the truth and to focus on enjoying my life with myself as the mental point of origin.

  40. Also here’s a fucking GREAT post about LTRs:


    I haven’t read the whole thing but what I’ve skimmed I agree with. This is the kind of stuff MGTOW needs where it’s just the basics and some warnings stripped down to let guys know how to safely have women in their lives on their own terms and what pitfalls to look out for (like how voluntarily giving up the ability to leave them means you lose your power so if you want to have kids with one you have to look into how to make that work by upping your dread game and staying high-value etc.).

    As long as you follow the rules you can have long-term relationships with women that are safe. You don’t have to get legally married or move in with them or promise monogamy if you don’t want to (all of those things restrict your ability to leave which is your only power in an LTR), those are all voluntary things men decide to do. Kids is the only thing that unavoidably locks you down and takes away the power to leave.

    If MGTOW had a brief guide like that, it would probably be more appealing an option to young men. It would be like a condom, where you can say “look I know you’re not gonna shut your dick off, you’re gonna get involved with girls, so here’s a guide to do so safely.”

    But as long as MGTOW is so vehemently against PUAs that knowledge is never going to make a crossover.

  41. Years of ground combat and I have seen some fucked up shut but the worse thing I have ever seen is a wife’s hostility toward her husband while cancer ate him up from the inside out.

    Marriage is all Blue Pill. Once you understand what family courts can do to you on a man choking on blue pills would take that legal ball and chain

  42. “because that Beta want of a mutually shared love precedes the capacity to recognize those great peaks.”

    Damn that hurt. I’m still smarting from an episode I had yesterday where I nearly divorced my wife because she had basically told me in between the lines she was getting ready to experience sex with other men in a few years. I crumpled up what she said and threw it out the window of my mind by realizing it was in my power to thwart her–but only if I emerged once again and again and again into Alpha State.

    What hurt so bad is the realization that I had drifted right back to my Blue Pill state over the last year or so. I’m a pretty solid Red Pill man, a comfortable 8 and born fairly Alpha, and I’ve had a wonderful 7~ years with my gorgeous, feminine, solid 8 wife. But like all men (except for Chad Thundercock) if I’m not careful, I will drift back into a Blue state like a man grows fat and bleary from too much drink. And she will see it immediately. As we know from the Red Pill, it is in her very bones to spot the Beta.

    No man is safe but Chad. The rest of us need to watch our own backs like hawks OUR ENTIRE LIFE or we will REVERT. So I here I was, catching myself pining, absolutely aching, for the shared intimate love I have with my wife ONLY WHEN I’M IN SOLID ALPHA STATE and which was now dissipating like my breathe into the air. That’s the only time your love is going to be your true love, boys. For moments–never for life.

    I believe in Unicorns because my wife is one, no self-congratulating whatsoever–but the Unicorn State is eternally temporary, fleeting, like a beautiful dream you hate waking up from. What I forgot, at the risk of losing it all, is she is only in the Unicorn State when I am in my Alpha State. The moment I slip, get comfortable and cozy and tender even when she doesn’t deserve it, the Unicorn is GONE and she is right back to the Eternal Hypergamous Ice Queen. She is again, Just Another Woman.

    That’s what hurts most of all boys: if your love turns out to be just another scheming siren, it is nobody’s fault but yours. Unicorns can be caught and corralled when you are at the top of your game–but they can never be truly owned.

    All the best to you Mr Tomassi

  43. I really appreciated this article. Being in my late 50s I find that most of the websites in the ‘sphere focus on the young men (no complaint about that): how to get into the panties of that young hottie, and such. Articles like these show that the Red Pill is so much more. I lost my father when I was still firmly planted in the Blue Pill world. I would like to see more articles by and about men in their later years: how they have applied the Red Pill lessons, and what it has meant to them after spending most of their lives in the Blue Pill world. I feel this article touched on those deeper meanings for us older guys.

  44. “For her part she’d completely checked out of anything intimate with him beyond the perfunctory duties of being civil with her husband years ago”

    Women shuts down emotionally for two reasons :
    1, when a man is losing his job.
    2,when a man is losing his life.

    Ps #2 comes with life insurance $$$.

  45. Would a woman stops having sex with a dying alpha man?

    How do a sick dying woman feel about sex with a surviving husband?

  46. “I believe in Unicorns because my wife is one, no self-congratulating whatsoever–but the Unicorn State is eternally temporary, fleeting, like a beautiful dream you hate waking up from. What I forgot, at the risk of losing it all, is she is only in the Unicorn State when I am in my Alpha State. The moment I slip, get comfortable and cozy and tender even when she doesn’t deserve it, the Unicorn is GONE and she is right back to the Eternal Hypergamous Ice Queen. She is again, Just Another Woman.”

    There really are no unicorns… just Palominos (that almost give the illusion of it), as your statement just realized in itself.


  47. I remember the exact day I swallowed the Red Pill without knowing it…. 8 years ago at age 46. I grew up raised to be the nice guy. When I dated women in my younger years women looked at me as serious material, not ONS. Good job, stable, good father etc.. After 2 divorces and being extremely beta trying to do what ever it took to save those marriages, as I didn’t want the kids to go through divorce garbage like I had as a kid. I had always hoped to find the one, the last one, the no matter what, we’ll be together one…

    So I was dating a gal for 1 1/2 years after the 2nd divorce and was remodeling the house myself, when I asked her to move into the family home…. Her response “only after you get this and this and this done, then we’ll see….” It made the needle drag across the record that was playing in my head. WTF? Conditions? Hoops to jump through? Seriously? I had tried to be that guy who wasn’t going to fail again and it was that exact moment that I hit a brick wall, thinking who are you to put conditions on me? I had just took a huge leap of faith again and she pulled the net out from under me. …and that’s when it hit me, AWALT! It killed my blue pill ways forever..

    Needless to say that relationship ended soon and ever since, I have been unable to see any woman the same. While I’ve dated many gals, it’s like I now have Red Pill / AWALT radar in my brain. I can spot that shit coming a mile away and I kill it without hesitation with an extra twist as I drive my spear through it..

    Different than your dad, now I can’t take anything coming out of a woman’s mouth or her actions at face value. Some days I don’t care, other days, I wish that I didn’t have that power, as the Truth is bitter sweet.

  48. @Robert What?

    Read some Ian Ironwood Kindle books esp. the Manosphere one. And Athol Kay’s stuff. Sure Athol is Purple pill, but he helped me. I was red pill all along and once I eliminated beta, I regained the rudder.

    Read Dalrock.

    My story is: 53 y.o. married to a +2 or +3 wife for going on 25 years. Red pill from the start. Lost the rudder for a long time. Gained it back. MBTI INTJ type: Believe anything is possible. The J (judging) means I think people are lazy stupid and unskilled, and unable to accomplish things they should.

    Red pill. Outcome independence. DHV. Social proof. Soft Dread. Get rid of your manly vices. Have a goal. A manly mission besides your regular job. I. E. pursuits and hobbies (good ones). Have a job that matters, keeps you alive and you excel at. Have fortitude. Be willing to continue your missions despite tough going. Work out and lift weights like your sex life depended on it. Be a man. Have strength, courage, mastery and honor. Realize your will be taxed (including psychic taxes) until you die. And that is O.K. if you have enough fortitude to be honest and pay them. Always be performing, but realize the trick is to make your “always be performing” act as effortless as possible.

    Red pill and game= being better at being a man. Be the best. Game is not trickery it is internalized self-actualization to make yourself perform as good as possible.

  49. Rollo,

    I always wanted to ask you (for us in late 40s and over) does AF/BB apply to women in their 40s who are pre/post menopausal ?
    What happens to the sexual duality in women 40s 50s?
    With your dying friend (and there are lots of older men who complains about the lack of sex) is it because of being blue pill or her menopause?

    1. I’d have to say his complete blue pill acceptance of his life. Seriously.

      I know a lot of guys who’ll say their wives are still after it even after menopause. And considering the spike in venereal disease among seniors:

      I’m inclined to believe them. His wife has always been frigid with him and basically married him as a Plan B provider after her first marriage (this is number two for them both) fell apart, but her ex was Alpha and split from her.

      I’d say it’s mostly this guy’s Beta-for-life tract.

  50. Mr. T.

    As a corollary question, the scales were removed from my eyes when it has only made clear to me that Rollo’s Menstruation is Your Friend essay in the past 6 months has reactivate my bedroom (dead bedroom>alive bedroom). Also the Beta Tells essay has made me realize how in light of the ovulatory cycle how my red pill re-affirmation has been successful. She likes me. She really likes me.

    Red pill question: what happens to the urgency or l lack there-of after menopause? Is it a free-for-all, or is there lack of urgency? If I only knew years ago what I know now. 25th marriage anniversary coming up with her 50th birthday a couple months from now. She is still very attractive and a genuine good person. The best woman I know (besides a my good mom).

    No matter what any anyone might say, I just haven’t had a bad life, a non-homogeneous neighborhood ever, bad parents, bad siblings, bad wife, bad parents, bad work profession. If anything my battle in life is to control my vices and be a better man.

    My father was good at being a man up until 1975-1979 my high school years. He was Don Draper without the good looks. Thereafter he became a Blue Pill Good Man. But since my mother was a saint and stood by him because of duty, he never suffered a blue pill fate.

    Beware the the excellent mother. She loves her offspring unconditionally. If a man isn’t good at being a man he can easily fail to understand Rollo’s Rational Male advice. The more old, old school the females were (My paternal grandmother and my own mother) the less blue pill equalist-feminist they were.

    This past week, my mother admitted that when we were young in the late 1960’s she had equalist-feminism desires but my father sublimated them.
    And I think she realized he was right in a Captain/first mate schema. They generated wealth in the Captain/first mate model and everything turned out as he had planned. Good.

  51. Rollo, what are your real “feelings” about this blue pill guy. Are you surprised that you couldn’t peer counsel him to come around to your perspective? Or are you frustrated that the Blue Pill Feminine Imperative and social conventions are like a black hole and sucked him in and wouldn’t let go?

    Rollo are you an INTJ, Meyer’s Briggs type?

    Finishing and editing a book takes fortitude. I have an acquaintance doing the same. It’s tough. But what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Be Good.

  52. Regret is an extraordinarily powerful emotion when it happens at or near the end.

    Somehow I think the refusal to set aside the blue pill that late in life may be connected to avoiding the feeling of regret.

  53. sjfrellc
    I wasn’t questioning Rollo’s rational male advice. In fact , discovering his blog was the best thing that happened to me.

    Since I was a boy I saw and knew women have ZERO loyalty or love to men.
    women love and fuck opportunistically.
    I believe that to be the truth of what women are AND accepted it. Reading this blog was a vindication.

    When there is no more menstrual cycle what replaces the duality?
    How genuine is sex for pre/post menopausal women do they fuck to feel wanted/sexy or (as usual) opportunism.

  54. M Simon is right about losing our respect for women. Since boyhood we’re indoctrinated into pleasing and seeking the approval of women, e.g. mothers, teachers. We’re taught to treat them special and respect them just because of their gender. Yet we would never give another man our respect so freely. It really comes down to women needing to earn our respect. In my observations, men with sisters treat women differently. Since they’ve grown-up with womens bs and manipulation they’re more adept at recognizing it, and never put women on the same pedestal that some of us do. For men without sisters, it’s like learning street-smarts…it’s much harder, you’ll suffer more, and take longer when learning as an adult. But at the same time, consciously choosing to alter your patterns of respect for women will be, along with empowering and rewarding, a fun interplay to observe.

    Also consider that people try to meet others expectations. No woman consciously wants to be treated poorly, so if you treat her with respect she’ll live up to your expectations with you, all the while putting out for another guy. Why would she risk losing the respect and value that you give her, which nobody else does, by having sex with you. As I tell my friends, even a slut will act like a lady if you treat her that way.

    Enrique432 stated “He is a shell of himself, but seems to have convinced himself that it’s the “right” life for him–she’s happy, so it must be.”

    This reminds me of the phrase, “happy wife, happy life”. You shouldn’t subordinate your happiness to hers, adults are responsible for their own happiness. If she’s unwilling to be responsible for her own happiness, then she’s a child and should be treated as such.

  55. @Appreciation: “Men making the personal sacrifices necessary to honor, respect and love her are commonplace. You’re supposed to do those things. You sacrificed your ambitions and potential to provide her with a better life? You were supposed to. You resisted temptation and didn’t cheat on your wife with the hot secretary who was DTF and ready to go? You were supposed to. Your responsibilities to maintaining a marriage, a home, your family, etc. are common – they’re expected.
    ***They are only appreciated in their absence***.”

    Powerful story about a pityful man – not kicking somebody already on the ground, that could have been a future me if it wasn’t for teh migthy intarwebz. 😉

    I try to keep things simple – the last sentence of the the above quote contains the solution:
    They are only appreciated in their absence.

    Realizing this was (for me, personally) very hard – but it contains something worth far more than appreciation: FREEDOM.

    Right now, I do not expect women to perform ANY basic, decent or kind deed, much less show a *genuine* emotion in that way.
    This includes all women, no matter if 20-year-party-slut or, whatever, “good granny grandmum”.

    The results are -of course- spectacular.
    Not necessarily in laying (although it helps) – but in the way that a giant burden is lifted after one overcomes the initial shock that nobody gives a rat’s ass about you in a genuine emotional, selfless way.

    The really strange thing about it is this:
    As soon as you really and fully have entered the Void and have freed yourself from these expectations – it really crakes even the most hardened sluts up…they mobilizie all semblances/mimikry of genuine emotion or human warmth to try to make you leave that position of calm rest in your inner space.
    But -again, of course- the only thing you do is stare on in some kind of wonder or curiosity.

    For me, that is true inner freedom – and I guess this kind of freedom is sought out in a lot of those approaches to inner game that focus on “self-awareness”, “Zen”-stuff, “meditation” etc.
    It’s all really a quest for the void, of being free from ties that are/were evolutionally useful, but individually harmful. And this harmfullness can now play out because of the current rules of engagement in today’s society.

    Hypergamy doesn’t care about the need for appreciation – the Void doesn’t care for hypergamy. It doesn’t care at all (not even about the female vessel that acts as the carrier and signalling/communcation device of the hypoergamous information), it just is.

  56. Wow. Harsh read but well done, as always. It seems there must be a teetering point in which you simply can’t make a change that would render your lifelong emotions invalid. You have to dance with the one that brought you. If a guy pedestalized and supplicated all his life then he kind of has to go out under that illusion or the regret will be so overwhelming.

  57. @Sun Wukong

    I always enjoy your comments (no homo)

    You made the comment that the RP would have saved you a lot of pain. I can certainly say the same thing though in a different way, I think.

    But to me, the RP has just rendered all those memories of oneitis, pedestalization ‘pain’ into a comedy in retrospect. So I no longer even see it as pain. I regret the wasted time but any old pangs of emotion are just silly to me. I realize now how deeply programmed and false so much of my life was in regards to women and interacting with people in general. It certainly has me on the lookout for other areas too. My point is that the pain is erased. Because I realize it was mostly me creating some castle in the sky based on whatever collage of Disney, Hollywood, music lyric or F.I. images that I was able to co-opt into my own silly chimera. I just laugh at it all now.

    I understand the regret of wasted time (I have that in droves) but how has the RP altered your memories of ‘pain’? It seems like you could have an interesting thought or two on that.

  58. I’m just glad weed is legal now because when I’m that old I will go down in a blaze of glory. I’m not going to lay there and contemplate shit. No thanks.

  59. “M Simon is right about losing our respect for women.”

    The thing is:

    “Women” is just a made-up word that is connected to hundredes upon hundreds of semantic links – so far even the feminists (in their focus on the disproved, but still interesting Sapir-Whorf-Hypothesis) are right.

    These links, associations and word-fields are SOCIALLY reenforced for all the reasons every PUA/manosphere reader knows/has read up: Value of eggs / reproduction as central power factor for any group of humans, etc.pp. (Everybody done their homework? 😉 )

    What we see when we:
    a) create a social space where women are free to act on their hard-wired instincts
    b) take away all exterior control of females’ social and sexual behaviour
    c) Western society
    is that [women] are not even /[human]/ in the sense that the adjective is used in everyday life today (–>equalist faulty thinking/related concepts here and elswhere).

    Please consider that I don’t talk about strict, empirical/scientific biology, (of course they are part of the same species, many similarities etc.pp.) but about that which counts, that is social performance and expectations in everyday life for the average person WITHOUT strict and direct control.

    The universalist category “human” masks a LOT of preconceptions in the west.
    And these preconceptions MASK what women really socially are:
    Signalling and execution devices/carriers for the hypergamy signal.

    In our history in the West, the picture we make of [humans] is literally stuffed full of MORAL preconceptions like
    1) “being nice” (–>all democatic approved literature about personal development, uotpias that are today considered “scoring” in verbal games like “human rights”)
    2) being reciprocal in relationships (–>all democratic approved education plans, psychology, development of children..)
    3) being a rational actor (justice, laws, economic theories that govern our whole thinking…)

    Women are [humans] in the same way as a toddler – everybody who has been around children for some period of time knows that they are VERY good at getting what they crave (talking about “want” is not applicable because no significant thought is involved) by using irrational (but gouged & useful) signals that make those better prepared to deal with the physical world and empirical reality (=men/grown-ups) do/get them what they crave.

    Toddlers are [human] – but because the functional capability between [toddler] and [humans] is too great, nobody (except for the most deranged advocats of the Frankfurt School) would get the idea to treat them as the template of [human], e.g. listenting to them or do as they say: The template is the rationally-acting (or at least trying to) man.

    The same applies to women: They send a barrage of verbal and non-verbal signals, but these signals should not be considered “true” signals – but instead garbled, deliberatly irrational, tainted signals that are meant to trigger a “search & execute” routine in us men:
    1) “Oh, woman signals hair flip and sits next to me for the second time – perhaps her irrational craving is to mate with me, perhaps she craves attention and exchange of verbal cues that reenfroce her self-image. I will decide and not fall into the preconceived mechanisms.”
    2) “Oh, the toddler screams – does it want the choclate bar or is it the diapers? I will decide and not fall into the preconceived mechanisms.”
    3) “Oh, woman frowns and crosses her legs without similing or exaggerating the gesture – no double bluff – no mating, move on.”
    4) “Oh, toddler giggles – no need to pay further attention, disregard/filter, activate “.

    Ergo: Listen/consider for relevant signals, but disregard the mimikry of a proper, reciprocal personality.

    Again, we arrive at tried and true methods of game…yet again…

  60. Could be the best post ever on RM. Seldom see a Manosphere blog post that shows the natural end result of the blue pill. Sure, causing panties to drop is a big benefit of the RP, but ideally the RP should make your life better in every way. I’ll be re-reading this post whenever I need a good reminder.

  61. AC in TX:

    Wow. You have a wife of 8 years who basically hinted she’s getting ready to off load you and have sex with other men “in a few years”.


    If I were you, I’d see a lawyer today. Her mindset isn’t likely to change, I’m afraid. If she is talking to you and hinting openly at you about it, she’s getting ready to leave you. I’d seriously consider ending it now, and first. At the very least, I’d confront her head on with it. I’d let her know very clearly that you know exactly what she was hinting at. I’d let her know if she ever did so it would be the immediate end of the marriage and that divorce is always, always on the table.

  62. what he could do to better solve, buy or otherwise alleviate the problems a woman had

    Men solve problems – so when a woman brings a problem it is his natural tendency to try to solve it. I learned long ago that it is a waste of time and effort – show her that you listened, then have sex with her. That way your time isn’t completely wasted. In advanced training, you learn how to turn her “problem” into your advantage since almost all of them center around a man – women love to complain, it is how they bond…. Use it to your advantage.

  63. @melmoth

    I always enjoy your comments (no homo)

    Unrequited homosexual crush on me noted, sir.

    I understand the regret of wasted time (I have that in droves) but how has the RP altered your memories of ‘pain’? It seems like you could have an interesting thought or two on that.

    I’d say you and I view the past a bit differently. Not saying either is “wrong” or “right”, but it’s definitely different. A little over 10 years ago, I looked back on a lot of the pain in my past and realized that if I wanted to love the person I was now, I had to accept my past since we are quite literally the sum of our past experiences.

    That meant not regretting my past choices no matter how bad they were. It makes us who we are today whether it’s a realization we had 5 minutes ago or abuse we faced 20 years ago. To regret my past is to regret who I am, and to regret who I am is to not love who I am. So it’s not regret about the experiences I went through really.

    It’s more an acknowledgement that the person I was back then faced all this with clinically diagnosed manic depression and an abusive history, creating a lot of pain in the process. To deny that it was incredibly painful to him is also to deny part of what made me who I am today. It hurt. A lot. The hurt is what drove me to seek even more answers. The hurt is why I began to see RP truths on my own before finding the community. The hurt quite literally drove BP thinking out of me. To deny that would be to deny part of what brought me to this point, and if nothing TRP is about reality right? That pain was real pain that the younger me faced. I ain’t gonna deny what he went through for the scars (physical and emotional) I bear proudly.

    Some of it I can look back on now and laugh, absolutely. Especially the first truly psycho bitch I dated in college. The relationship ended with her (an Army reservist with access to guns) talking about shooting herself, then shooting me, then taking me out to the middle of nowhere, shooting me so I’d bleed slowly and could watch her shoot herself. No shit, that was an exact conversation my 19 year old self had to deal with before sprinting terrified out the door to get away from the bitch forever. That shit’s as hilarious as now as it was terrifying at the time.

    But even in that I have to acknowledge the pain to see where I grew and how it shaped me. I can laugh about the fact that I watched hypergamy first hand as every single time I really thought about a future with a woman, she left with another man. A couple times even with close friends of mine. Every time I went full beta and let her know I cared, hypergamy kicked in and off they went. But I also have to acknowledge that it’s the pain of those losses that brought me here. Otherwise why bother with the difficulty of changing my view on life, right?

    I don’t regret that I took the path I did, but I do wish I was further down the path than I am right now. TRP when I was younger would have gotten me down it quicker, and I’d probably be enjoying more success than I am right now. I wouldn’t replace any of the experiences I’ve had, but it would have been nice to have somebody really explaining what was going on to me so I could get through it quicker.

  64. 447, those are excellent points. I’ve just begun the path of overcoming my indoctrination, and have come to a similar, though much less defined, conclusion regarding these “post-pubescent toddlers”.

    I know realize that a woman will never be my equal, and rather than seeking an equal relationship, I need a partner who is compatible. Compatibility is an old notion that the feminist fight for equality has caused us to forget. When two people are equal they’re likely to butt heads, but since the basis of compatability is inequality, it allows for less conflict and greater reward for both partners. In other words, equality pits two people against each other, whereas compatibility promotes teamwork.

    It’s kind of like your other comment regarding expectation. When each partner is able to validate themselves, they won’t seek external validation from others. Like you said, it’s a one-ness with the self that liberates oneself from being outcome dependent, but it’s a level of maturity that most of us will never reach.

  65. Paulo,

    Indeed, I happened to have been raised in a family with a proto-feminist mom (was too old already when it got kickin’…was busy cooking and cleaning and having babies in the early 60’s), and a feminist sister, which drove me and my brother crazy. That sister went on to become a pretty big Ivy League Feminist that rubs shoulders with the big libs…sickening.

    Anyhow, watching her ply her craft as a young boy/man in the 70s and 80s taught me early, how to be wary of women…along with watching my mom’s psy-ops on my dad and us boys. I think Dad just free-based the blue pill because for their generation, staying together was more honorable than living a life of liberty and independent thought and action. Once over the hump (into their later years), I assume they reconnected as spouses in a way.

    Women, watch what they do, if not to you, other men–not what they say. Seems my co-workers who are a generation younger than me (I’m Gen-X), seem to get this already, and don’t by the BS. Much less white knightedry.

  66. (Begin quote)
    thedeti on February 17, 2015 at 10:42 am
    AC in TX:

    Wow. You have a wife of 8 years who basically hinted she’s getting ready to off load you and have sex with other men “in a few years”.


    If I were you, I’d see a lawyer today. Her mindset isn’t likely to change, I’m afraid. If she is talking to you and hinting openly at you about it, she’s getting ready to leave you. I’d seriously consider ending it now, and first. At the very least, I’d confront her head on with it. I’d let her know very clearly that you know exactly what she was hinting at. I’d let her know if she ever did so it would be the immediate end of the marriage and that divorce is always, always on the table.
    (End quote)

    I second “thedeti” completely. She’s showed her hand. This is her way of absolving herself from guilt because she can now tell herself that “I told him”. This isn’t a warning to shape-up from now on, she’s not considering her options, she’s told you what she’s already decided…and, that what she’s going to do. Think of it like this, how long has she been thinking about this before she decided to finally tell you…she’s already convinced herself and you’re not going to change her mind. She didn’t approach you to discuss your relationship, and how things can be worked out or improved. She’s not seeking resolution, she wants out.

    A long time ago I came to the realization that once a woman brings up an end to our relationship in any way, that I would immediately end it myself to prevent my own heartbreak. A woman hinting at breaking-up/divorce has already thought about it over and over, talked about it with her friends/family…and we are the last to know. By the time we finally find out about her thoughts, in her mind the relationship is already over. She’s not going to risk her position (safety-net) by telling us about it before she’s made a decision. And, once her decision is made it’s best that we make a pre-emptive strike to minimize our damages.

    We have to remember that unlike us, women plan relationships. Most go from the security of one man to another. In her mind, your wife has told you the relationship is over, and now she’s doing the logistics to find another man before leaving you…or worse, staying, but cheating on you.

    If it’s your decision to end the relationship, you’ll be less likely to suffer heartbroken depression. You’ll also be in a better frame of mind to plan financial separation. If you’re unsure what you want to do, at least take the precaution of getting a back-up girl so you’ll be ready to move on when the inevitable happens. You want to do this before she leaves because you won’t reek of desperation, and you’ll make a better choice in selecting her replacement.

    Wish you the best on the road ahead.

  67. Mr. T, sjfrellc

    The menopausal women I have had experience with were plenty horny, wanted AF as well as BB and did the usual hypergamous behavior. AWALT. They did not seem to cycle AFBB on a schedule that I noticed.

    It seems that some women are more strongly Alpha seeking than others. I suspect a genetic component since I knew a mother and daughter who were both strongly Alpha seeking, as well as a pair of sisters. There may also be a racial aspect. Two Korean women I have known were more strongly AF seeking hypergamous than average. They often have big tits – an alpha attracting flag. Korean women also seem to be more hot passionate temperament like Latin women.

  68. Folks, understand that if your wife has hinted about divorce, or you have even considered it, she’s already done some legwork on it. Secondly, NEVER EVER show your hand (unless tactically advantageous), meaning, you don’t ANNOUNCE to her ANYTHING. Stay calm, document, record (check out if it is lawful to record discretely in your state) and understand ALL THAT, particularly if you have kids, is just protection and defensive tactics.

    You have almost zero leverage in a divorce, except to counter with everything you have (as she will), DO NOT WHITE KNIGHT UP, and follow a good attorney’s advice. This can mean literally not paying a SINGLE bill for the house, car, etc, and NOT LEAVING YOUR HOME (thus the need to record to protect yourself from false allegations).

    Understand that you telling her “it’s over” or you are going to divorce her, is NO KIND of threat or worry to her. Google the now, 15 year old advice given famously on DadsDivorce.com…called “The LIST”, which lays it all out.

  69. Yea bro beat her to the punch and kick when she is down

    You win fights with surprise and violence of a action, find a lawyer who will go to war for you, make a good plan and attack 1st.

    That woman who “loved” you will make ISSI hajjis look like teddy bears when she hits the divorce court

  70. It’s hard to say whether cluing older guys in is a good thing. I say this as someone who didn’t really “get it” until his early 40s (now pushing 50).

    I still can’t decide whether RP was good for me or not. As soon as I opened my eyes and realized what really motivates women (as opposed to professed motivations), I lost interest in them entirely. I know it’s pretty common for new RP guys to go through a period of… well, grief, I guess. For all the time and effort they wasted playing by the woman’s fake rule book. Me, though, I feel like I’m pretty much done with them.

    I guess some guys adjust to change better than others.

  71. @tsotha

    Me, though, I feel like I’m pretty much done with them.

    I guess some guys adjust to change better than others.

    Trying to figure out how being done with them is worse than the alternative of continuing to suffer through the pain of not knowing. OK, it’s not the ideal outcome we aim for, but it’s an improvement.

    Possible outcomes from worst to best after being exposed to The Red Pill:

    – Complete denial. (Sadly, the vast majority of cases)

    – “Accept” Red Pill, but continue trying to live by Blue Pill books, continue getting fucked over as a result. (Purple Pill)

    – Become disillusioned with women, avoid them. (MGTOW)

    – Become outcome independent prize for women, get laid easily, get hurt no more. (Red Pill Player)

    Really, you could do much much worse.

  72. Think I just heard the FI anthem on the radio (K. Michelle – Love ‘Em All):

    Maybe one day I’ll settle down
    But for now
    I’ll just play around
    And I’ll make them feel good
    That’s how I get ’em
    Making all feel special
    Then I’ll forget ’em
    So I won’t hurt
    I keep a lot of them
    And I love them all

    Want me like the rest
    I’m continuing not giving my best
    They say I move too fast
    Going man to man
    Always holding a new hand
    Why can’t they understand
    Sex is irrelevant
    Just a game in my head,
    I’m playing and I’m winning

    ‘Cause they think I love ’em
    But I love ’em all, love ’em all ye-yeah
    I need another one to get over the other one
    Another one, ye-yeah

  73. Outstanding!!!


    There is a movie called Summer School. I cannot remember the actors name, but one of the H.S. students (male) was always sleeping in class. The teacher asked him why (the H.S. student was natural RP). The student said, “Do you ever wish you knew in H.S. what you know now?” The teacher said, “yeah.” The student said, “I do.” The kid walked away and the teacher said, “I hate that kid.”

    I went through all the stages of RP awareness. I am whole heartedly teaching my son RP, and my wife hates it. My dad was an Alpha, me probably not so much. My dad always thought I was trying to compete with him. It’s so funny because my son is 16 and for the last 3 years, he would tell my wife I was always trying to compete with him. He is lucky though, he has girls almost fighting for his attention. You can see from afar he is AMOG. I hate and love him for that at the same time. I was an amatuer PUA younger, but beta for my wife. Since reading so much on yours and other sites, game is coming back and I my wife is finally getting clingy to me which has not happened in years.

    Just a thanks.

  74. Thanks for another excellent post Rollo.

    My father also died (at 76) a blue pill addict.

    “M Simon is right about losing our respect for women.”????

    Women should never be respected from a blue pill perspective. In fact that’s not respect, it is expect….

  75. Great story and very similar to me own. My father died last year, it was a huge learning experience and I gained a lot of perspective during his brutal three week terminal decline in a hospital bed. It was right after I fully accepted how women and men are instead of letting TV, the junk mainstream media, and lying women tell you how they want the reality to be. My father and mother used to fight a lot, my father would stand up to my mother in his 30s and be unrelenting in not letting her get her way. This declined in a decade to him makes concessions as to not to have to deal with the screaming but just the nagging which he could take. Then in his golden years, he would constantly apologize and do anything, just so not to hear her nag. Women really do enjoy breaking the spirit and resolve of men. The last few weeks when he was helpless and in extreme pain and barely able to walk, she would still bust his balls for little things and demand apologies from him. As someone who took the red pill so to speak, it was a reminder of the harsh reality of men being just utility and that once that is used up, you are not only useless to a women, but an annoyance if you’re still around. The idea that you should get married so that you can have a women who will help you in your golden years is laughable. I believe the women who give this false argument know it’s bullshit themselves. My sister and I fought to keep my father going while my mother kept telling us it was over and that it was costing us too much money to keep him alive. My father did end up getting better initially and came home for two weeks. In the last week of his life when he want back into intensive care, I spent time examining the other patients, I learned that wives never come alone to visit their husbands like in the movies, but if you were a good father, your kids and relatives will visit you. I see wives as nothing but a financial and mental burden and only worth it if you really want kids, which I do, but not at the extent that I’d go through what my father had to. The tail end of your life is brutal and unhappy and there is no way to avoid the suffering. So I’d say enjoy the prime years as best as you can and don’t take them for granted. I’m willing to be most men at the end of their lives who do suddenly get it and come to terms with reality and stop living in denial wish they switched places with a man who never had to deal with a wife.

  76. @tsotha: “I still can’t decide whether RP was good for me or not. As soon as I opened my eyes and realized what really motivates women (as opposed to professed motivations), I lost interest in them entirely.”

    I know that many sites/commenters deny that or try tp ridicule it – but I don’t agree.
    Just forgetting about the whole problem and, if that is possible locally –> escorts or masturbation are alternatives on a spectrum:
    One end of the spectrum is to learn game and go spinning, some might just implement some measure of game, others might drop out of the game and focus on other stuff.

    If that solution is a good solution for somebody – just do it.

    It has the added benefit of denying attention and help to women, which can never hurt in the age of ultra-coddeling females.

    Ridiculing men for that is ridicoulus in and of itself – it just repeats the FI-ideal that men always must perform something to be validated.

    When true emotional connection is out of the picture (and it is –> hypergamy) the only remaining question is how you get your nut off in a way that is pleasing enough and not too troublesome.

    Dropping out is not my way, but it definitly is a way.
    (And I don’t agree with Rollo that you “can’t quit b/c women everywhere” etc.pp.)

  77. “When each partner is able to validate themselves, they won’t seek external validation from others. Like you said, it’s a one-ness with the self that liberates oneself from being outcome dependent, but it’s a level of maturity that most of us will never reach.”

    Hmmh, perhaps it is maturity – I rather think it is a completly dysfunctional behaviour (close to dark traid) that acts a a “hack” on hypergamy.

    Because it DOES get you women indirectly (as we know, the more dark traid –> the more they react with their vaginas) – but only because of our current social and histroic enviroment (overcoddeling, female hypergamy out of control, seeking ever new highs of input to contain it like a drug addict).

    In a functional world (or just a world in contact with reality and physical sensations), every women would warn her freinds and sisters AWAY from a guy that shows this…because it means you don’t care about her at all.

    That is the flip-side of the hypergamy script:
    As soon as you beat it, you get pussy – but you don’t give shit about women anymore. That is a necessary condition -because without that condition, you can not hold this position internally.

    Simple example: My GF just just left in her car (as everything, of course paid for by her) – perhaps she has a crash and dies/goes in hospital. I don’t wish for that, but I couldn’t care less. Not out of spite or anything like that – I just know what she REALLY is.

  78. So what do you think this main failure was? Not to learn from his mistakes? A refusal to change? Lack of courage? Incidently the research I’ve been doing it looks like silicon is an essential nutrient(it and boron seem so strongly to be essential, just no one seems to be able to figure out exactly what they do). Silicon (silicic acid) seems to limit the uptake of aluminum, and humans ingest less and less as they age. They’ve already shown very conclusively areas where water is treated with aluminum have much higher rates of alzheimers.

  79. I totally get the red pill turning a man off from women. Immorality does that to a lot of men and women are immoral from any masculine perspective of the word.

    Even success in the SMP comes at a price and I have exited the SMP to go my own way for a spell pretty regularly over the last 8-10 years. Even when I was married I enjoyed a high ops and training tempo as it was a welcome break from domestic life. Lots of us did

  80. @Sun Wukong

    Very good and interesting stuff in there and it’s appreciated. It sounds like you went through quite a lot and it took quite a lot of nerve to share that with us here. I hope you can keep progressing. I remain the Pres. of your fan club.

    Yeah, your experiences are different than mine but all aspects of how and why people shift from blue to red is worth knowing. One way it helps is that it just furthers the understanding of how much we were all led on so adeptly by the F.I. For me, the RP has helped to clean out a lot of cringeworthy moments and hellish mental sets that were basically entire eras of my life. I can extinguish almost any ill, old feeling by knowing that I was just operating under some very misguided expectations. It might seem like a bit of cop-out but not really. It’s just really me going, “Yeah that was all fucked up. Just live the day. Right now. Fuck the old narratives.” It feels good.

    My whole framework was one of trying to figure out what people wanted, the final carrot of course being ‘the one’. Oh shit, it all makes me sick. However, a lot of that insanely complex overthinking, projection, pedestalization, self-analysis–whatever you want to throw in there–is what led to my current mind, which I think isn’t susceptible to boredom, at least, and that’s worth a lot. If you’re thoughtful enough to be on here, writing stuff and learning then you’re in a good place.

    I have an old hometown acquaintance/friend. Good looks. He was always kind of cold, very mature and above it all. Knew enough to work hard in high school and he started dumping money in the market at probably age 16. If he had to do it through his dad or something, I don’t know. Anyway, he hit some stocks in the nineties. He became a home town broker. I think he’s a Warren Buffett type, like, ‘Duh, just go blue chip consistently. Who can’t see that?’ Anyway he’s the guy we probably all would be if we could ‘go back’ ‘knowing what we know now’. Got chicks, started investing early, picked a lucrative career and hit it hard. He seemed to have all the 55 year old’s wisdom, naturally, and from day one. I’m sure he held frame with his wife etc. I can’t see him being a supplicator. Never. I think he was enough wise enough to pick a girl a few SMV pts below him. He always got girls and never seemed to pedestalize them. He was getting laid by 15 etc. Anyway, here’s the kicker; He’s as dull as dishwater. Certainly not dull as in stupid. I just mean there’s no flair. I also don’t mean he has a dull personality. He’s fine to talk to, charismatic. But I mean he’s hardly the type who would have wanted to wander around in Cuba or go trekking in Nepal or even read a book. His life and how he lived it so cleanly left him with no real character marks. Fiction would mean fuck all to him. If he does even read, he certainly reads about investing. Getting on a plane to some exotic land would have no spice for him at all. The moral is that a lot of the mistakes, pain etc adds to your capacity to be interested in this world. Of course it adds character. Everyone knows about the ‘building character’ aphorisms. But some fuckups and pain along the way actually builds your brain, I think, and allows it have interesting takes. That’s how I try to look at all that misguided drama I concocted to try to navigate the FI, though I had no idea that’s what was going on.

  81. @Elias

    What a story. I agree with you that you shouldn’t live your life in such a way that your passing will be some wonderful, joyous time for you, ‘after a life well-lived!’ with your oneitis by your side. As if she won’t be sitting there thinking, ‘Just die, asshole!’ The death rattle is going to suck regardless. Investing 40 years of living in a certain, compromised way so that the last two weeks of coughing, sputtering agony will be some kind of bow-tie to a cozy narrative is a bad, bad gamble. There’s no payout is there? Just live life as you currently want it to be and worry about the death rattle when it comes. There’s no guarantee you get to even make it to the dementia age anyway. If I get there without accident I will be so deep into weed once I know it’s over. I had to repeat myself there. I’ll take a two-month fog of marijuana even if I’m alone over 40 years of F.I. supplication to ensure the death rattle has some other drooler sitting there watching TV with me.

  82. @SFC Ton,

    Your bit about the soldiers regarding ‘high ops’ training as a relaxing break from marriage is pretty telling. (I’m understanding you right,yeah?) Anyway it reminded me of a buddy who was a golf pro at a course about two and a half hours from Seattle. I went out there once and he got me on. I noticed that everyone seemed to be from Seattle (you can just tell, plus I golfed with and talked to a few), meaning a 5 hour round trip just to golf. This includes ferry boats, long, narrow drives etc. Everyone knows it rains out there and those narrow, dark, tree-lined roads are stressful. Yet, he told me that most of their golfers came from Seattle on Saturdays. It was a nice course but didn’t outshine the Seattle courses or maybe a dozen or more courses in between by too much if at all. I asked him how they got all the Seattle golfers to come from so far away. I’ve never married and he was married at that time, miserably married of course. His answer was something I never forgot. He said that the Seattle guys came all that way on Saturdays to buy themselves five extra hours away from their wives. Not fun hours either. It’s not like they’re hiding off in a strip club or something. I mean just sitting on a ferry for an hour, driving down monotonous tree-lined roads–all better than their constant wars. He was dead to nuts serious too. He looked at me like “Dude, just wait.”

  83. @447

    Good points and some great advice. I am a serial expat and I’ve noticed over the years that the women who I know are most hostile to me (white American women) are also the ones who are the most vehemently opposed to me going overseas and enjoying my life. You’d think they’d want me to GTFO if I’m so unappealing to them but it’s something different with them. They hate the breach of the F.I, even if it’s done by men who have no value to them. I thought that fit in with some of your takes.

    Also, you point out the irony of women starting to come along once you no longer value them that much. A guy just can’t win. One of the dullest nights of my life was a whirlwind tour of Bangkok strip clubs. I decided not to indulge beforehand for some reasons of my own. But that wasn’t why it was dull. It was the wide open access to hundreds of beauties. All there for a trivial price. I guess P4P has all different kinds of things to discuss. Maybe TRM is not the place. But though the girls were literally on a pedestal, the figurative pedestal was gone. They were mere flesh and the psychological value was nil. Weird irony. If women caused so much pain that a guy is driven away and then learns to stop pedestalizing, then the next time he does get a woman the whole magical powers his mind used to attribute to her are gone. It’s kind of the conundrum of the whole PUA world. Devalue women and then here they come.

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