Memento Mori

sjfrellc hit me with this question from Monday’s post:

Rollo, what are your real “feelings” about this blue pill guy. Are you surprised that you couldn’t peer counsel him to come around to your perspective? Or are you frustrated that the Blue Pill Feminine Imperative and social conventions are like a black hole and sucked him in and wouldn’t let go?

Lets just be clear about something I’m not sure I’ve ever addressed before, I never expect any guy to come to a Red Pill perspective. I’m thankful guys find this blog, I’m glad I can help and my book and writing here is accessible, but I don’t expect men to accept any of it. If I expect anything it’s that the vast majority of men will resist even a passing reference to anything counter to their Blue Pill conditioning like a cornered animal. Most men are completely inured and dependent on an intergender social system and a set of rules they’ve been raised to believe is fair (if not grossly weighted in their own favor) and women are abiding by. They believe that contenting and satisfying a woman’s sexual strategy is a realizable life success.

I’ve always said unplugging guys from the Matrix is like triage, but this man was like reading last rites to a guy 10 years ago only to find out he hasn’t died yet. It’s no secret that I’ve personally known a man who hung himself and two more who swallowed bullets as a direct result of their inability to come to terms with their shattered hopes of an ideal Blue Pill life. It’s one thing to have men commit suicide because their ONEitis fears of losing “the best girl they’d ever get” leave them, but it’s quite another to watch a similar man waste away to the end of his life still grasping for the hope that in the last half hour of his life that Blue Pill goal might be realized if he’s only good enough.

I never expected him to unplug even then, but to see the guy still grasping at Blue Pill ideals because he utterly has no other frame of reference put the totality of a Blue Pill existence into perspective for me. I’m all about guys spinning plates, enjoying more and better sex with them or their wives, and certainly about adopting an Alpha mindset and behaviors that facilitate doing that, but it’s important to also remember that the importance of a Red Pill awareness has much broader implications. It can literally save your life.

Anyone wondering why I have a problem with purple pill advocates pandering to the sensibilities of their majority female readership (i.e. clients) by encouraging Blue Pill half-measures to men’s lives should keep that in mind.

When you become Red Pill aware you become more conscious of how the conditioning of a Blue Pill mindset predisposes men to frustration because Blue Pill idealism is really unattainable by design. You also become aware of how dangerous that frustration has the potential to be for men who can neither handle the Red Pill truth nor the constant measuring and failure to achieve Blue Pill goal-states he’s been conditioned to believe are attainable, and other men have.

That frustration can be dangerous to both himself and others, but that’s in the now. Precious few men in the ‘sphere consider the long-term consequences of the life of a man immersed in Blue Pill idealism, responsibility and promises that keep him grinding on until he’s reached the end of his usefulness to the Feminine Imperative.

“He was never much of a man…”

Since I started writing on SoSuave, and especially more now that I’ve detailed Open Hypergamy, I’ve had many guys relate a similar story about how their grandmother, mother or mother-in-law had just openly told him or his wife that her husband was never “much of a man”.

These women are all in their late 70s to early 80s and it’s like at that point all bets are off and what do they really have to lose by letting their daughters and granddaughters in on grandma’s words of warning about “settling” on a man? I’ve even had women readers relate how their own mothers confessed that there was a “just part of her she just could never share with a man like her father.”

These Alpha Widow confessions usually came after her husband was in the ground or had been delivered to the assisted living facility and too far gone to really register the gravity of her real estimate of him after living the better part of her life with him. The guys who relate these stories to me are Red Pill aware so their jaws dropping came with a little knowing expectation, but imagine how the Blue Pill husband of the daughter of one of these elderly women must process that confession. What mental contortions does a man need to do to fit that information into a Blue Pill mindset?

I think when a woman has nothing to really lose by copping to it is when they’re most comfortable with Open Hypergamy. This same comfort is becoming more common for younger women due to the social and personal security they’re ‘entitled’ to now, but for women who don’t really feel that security has solidified until their golden years this admonition and confession of Open Hypergamy almost seems like a relief to them. A relief in the hope that they’ve warned their daughters or granddaughters to opt for monogamy with an exciting Alpha lover/husband (no matter how perceptual) rather than regretting the ‘safe bet’ she made by settling on her Plan B man, her Beta-dependable husband she conveniently ‘found’ in her Epiphany Phase.

As women age towards their later years the urgency to warn younger generations of the sisterhood about the results of their hypergamous life decisions becomes more pressing. To be sure there’s a degree of desire to live vicariously through their daughter’s and granddaughter’s experiences, but more so this confession is for their own need of closure – a final coming clean about what was really influencing those past decisions and living (or not) with them. There comes a point when admitting the ugly truth feels better than worrying over keeping up the pretense of concern.

Far too many Blue Pill men (even young men) are terrified of living the life of the lonely old man. They imagine that if they don’t comply with the Feminine Imperative’s preset relational context of women that they’ll live lives of quiet desperation. I outlined this in the Myth of the Lonely Old Man – the threat point is one where men are encouraged to believe that if they don’t comply with women’s relational primacy they’ll endure a life of decaying loneliness into old age, unloved and devoid of children who’ll comfort them bedside as they peacefully pass into the next life.

What these Blue Pill men fail to realize is this is simply one more part of the feminine-primary fantasy they’re condition for. Do a Google image search for “end of life issues”, see all of those pictures of grandpa holding hands with wife and family in a clean comforting hospice bed saying his last goodbyes before he passes on? That advertising is the Blue Pill fantasy. In all likelihood you’ll die in an elderly care home, from lung fluid buildup, in the middle of the night with no one around or a complete stranger in the bed next to you. I understand that’s a depressing thought, but the truth of it is you’ll really have no influence in deciding how you’re going out at that stage, and hopefully that wakes you up about living a Blue Pill existence based on fear, compliance and appeasement till death do you part.

Put that into perspective with a man who wakes up to his conditions.

Die Alpha

Now before I get the predictable “not with my grandpa” stories, let me just say that you’ve got to put the generational differences into perspective.

When I published Empathy I figured I’d get some backlash from women in the oversimplified binaries I’ve come to expect. So before those same sputterings arise let me unequivocally footnote here that women are absolutely capable of a learned empathy and sympathy for men. However those sympathies, like genuine desire, cannot be negotiated for. Whatever your misguided concept is about how Relational Equity should merit a woman’s sympathy or respect, those are only valid and genuine when a woman freely gives them to a man she perceives as Alpha, never as something he’s due.

In every story you’ll hear about how the wife, kids and grandkids gathered around the family patriarch in the hours before he passed, understand that he was in all likelihood a respected dominant Alpha for most of his life. I want to add a bit of balance to the Blue Pill elderly I described this week, so let me also say I’ve known a handful of Men who died Alpha. These are the Men for whom a widow and his kids honor his memory once a year. They go to the gravesite because he was worth the cost of putting him in the ground instead of a cheap cremation.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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Sun Wukong
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Sun Wukong
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@theasdgamer Were I calling it only out for racism, I would agree with you. But I’m calling out the whole of what I’m seeing here because I’ve seen it over and over and over again. There’s a bunch of racist horseshit wrapped up in a bunch of conspiracy theorist horseshit, just like it’s always been. He’s not rational. He’s a fucking conspiracy theorist nutjob peddling racist horseshit as though it were truth. Twenty fucking years I’ve watched assholes like this show up and try to ruin communities with their horse shit. Fuck that. Pound them back in the rathole they… Read more »

Badpainter
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Badpainter
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anon – “Glenn, I’m a lawyer…”

That explains it.

Olderog
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Olderog
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This is going way too far.

Who cares if the lefties are all marxist nutters? Who care if there is a juicy conspiracy to rule the world?

None of this matters. Even if these things were true (and they are not) you could not change or influence any of this one tiny jot by bleating about it in a comment thread.

Breath through your nose and clean up your own life. Invest your time, your energy and your wealth in yourself first. Only then will you be able to make any kind of difference to the work whatsoever.

Glenn
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Glenn
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@ Anon – Shut the fuck up you moronic racist scumbag lawyer. It’s laughable for you to claim that using the term “racist” is blue pill. You are a racist in a Blue Pill world or a Red Pill one. And of course, you totally ignored my deeper comments on political philosophy which actually point out your errors in reasoning. Remember, you are the drooling moron blaming the current situation on Baby Boomers – my entry point in trying to correct your ignorant blather. Btw, what is it that’s ruining our society – Baby Boomers or Blacks or Jews? Hard… Read more »

yossarian
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Here I go with my two cents again…

The question is discourse not censorship.
When a conversation pertaining to a topic becomes hijacked to expound a completely different idea….
Should Rollo intervene and re-direct the conversation? I say “Fuck yes!”
Are all the subjects intertwined at some level? I say “Fuck yes!” again.
I’m already obfuscated. Thank you lads.

Glenn
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And oh yeah, I’m not open minded about discussing racism. That doesn’t make me intolerant of dialog, it makes me a civil, moral human being. There is no discussion to be had with racists and anti-semites, the only appropriate response is shaming, denigration and shutting them down. Anon – Listen to Rollo and go back to whatever rock you crawled out from under and keep posting on ROK or CH or Stormfront or Tom Woods or Ron Paul or Lew Rockwell or the zillion other places where cockroaches like you are allowed to wander free. Here? I stomp them. @… Read more »

TAnon
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@Glenn

“Most forums have two rules. 1 – No racism/bigotry.”

You forgot sexism.

Glenn
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@ Yossarian – “Are all the subjects intertwined at some level? I say “Fuck yes!” again” Uhh, no. Racism has nothing to do with any of the subject matter discussed here. It’s not “intertwined”. As for keeping the dialog on track and it being hijacked here, that happens all the time on this site and it’s quite interesting usually. It’s really a free forum in which you can go on tangents if you like. The community deals with that via feedback or just ignoring commentary that isn’t interesting. Discourse isn’t the issue. Racism and bigotry is. Even though SJWs have… Read more »

Glenn
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@ TAnon – And what’s your point then? That this should be a place where racists and bigots spray there hate just because radfems have gone off the deep end calling everyone a sexist or a racist or a bigot?

Wow, I wonder how many guys here are actual racists and anti-semites? Some crowd you’ve got here, Rollo, my opinion of this site is falling by the minute.

yossarian
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@Glenn

I think all things discussed here can be intertwined at a certain level. I was only trying to express my ambiguity pertaining subject matter on such a blog. What is not related? What should be banned? What is. ..? I have no clear answers.

I do think that racism is vile. I agree with you 100%. I was taken back by how easily things escalate on this and many other blogs. It is incredulous.

yossarian
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@Glenn

And, I am speaking about ideology. How certain conversations on “red pill” truths somehow get quickly involved in bigoted and racist concepts. The concepts that come up all the time…You know them so well.

I read the other blogs. I respect Rollo the most. It hurts me to see the blog get ugly.

Hobbes
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I’d like to offer my sincere thanks to Glenn, SunWukong, and Rollo as well s others who have stepped in here to call out the bigotry being spewed here. I am of latino heritage- Spaniards by way of Cuba. As it is I often feel a bit isolated as a RP man in a BP world, but when I come to these sites where men with I feel I have a commonality suddenly decide to start the hating of groups, I get to feeling even more separated from the world and country I have every right to be a part… Read more »

yossarian
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My thoughts exactly.
I would like to see a touch of “esprit de corps” among all of us gentleman here. We are all one my friends. Men.

Thank you Rollo for the new posting.

Tam the Bam
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Woah, chaps, just back from reordering the lives of countless millions of unsuspecting juveniles, and along with trying to lop off the old foreskin with sidecutters it’s been a hell of a day (c’mon, we’re talking potential World Domination here, a small price, Odin gave up an eye). Oh and starting WW1. Always slips my mind that one. I also dispute the identification with da GBFM. He may well be some sort of English Lit teacher, whereas Onan here is a self-confessed lawyer. When I was a little kid, part of my four-and-a-half-year old’s two mile walk back from the… Read more »

TAnon
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Let me give you some advice Glenn. Sperging out like that will not help your cause. There are lots of people who read this blog that do not post. Many of them have had their reality and belief system smashed by the things they read here and are probably in a state where they are questioning everything they have ever been told in their whole lives. While in this state who are they more likely to believe? The guy who says racial equality is also a lie just like gender equality or the guy who spergs out at the mere… Read more »

Glenn
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@ TAnon – You can go suck a bowl of dicks too. Fucking racist scum, you dare lecture me? I shit out a turd more morally respectable than you just a few minutes ago. “Sperg” out – what the fuck are you talking about? I’m no sperg, in fact I’m quite socially and emotionally intelligent and actually make a living communicating. I just have zero tolerance for racism and racists. And your whole ‘da menz are confused and tender after taking the red pill so why not let them hear about racism too’ is such imbecilic horseshit I kind of… Read more »

Sun Wukong
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@TAnon I think you understand this, but the mistakes everyone here displaying racial bigotry are quite simple: You’re driving away men who could use this advice by creating a “whites only” clubhouse, when those are men who could use the help just as much as you can. In doing so, you drive off potential allies in changing society for what many of us perceive as the better. While what we discuss here isn’t a movement in an explicit form, it is (as I’ve heard Rollo describe it in interviews) a “bottom up” change of society. Every man we bring here… Read more »

Forge the Sky
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Forge the Sky
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Fuck, what happened here?! This was a pretty good discussion for a while… I basically agree with Sun Wukong here, for the record. My tribe is the men around me, supporting me – the people who pursue goals congruent to mine, who will mutually fight and sacrifice for each other, who give and receive in equal measure. I can’t conceive giving a fuck what their racial background is if they fulfill those requirements. I haven’t looked into it at all, but I’m open to hard data on racial differences in various traits if they exist or if they don’t –… Read more »

girlwithadragonflytattoo
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@Sun Wukong

I’d say “Amen” … but you don’t pray!

Junior
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@Rollo – You may have covered this dichotomy previously… – a regular current affairs show on Australian TV called ‘Q&A’ recently discussed the ‘epidemic’ of domestic violence against women in Australia. Of course the entire show was based on skewed & unrepresentative data (two or three ‘surveys’ from the Australia Bureau of Statistics cited in conjunction with crime reports) that show only victimization of women, & not a single mention of any research into perpetration rates by women against men, while over 1700 peer-reviewed papers demonstrate equal rates of perpetration, at the very least. Nevertheless, what struck me was that… Read more »

rugby11
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rugby11
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Pain brought me into the red pill
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LasNbCddsmA

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