The Rational Male is a rational and pragmatic approach to intergender dynamics and the social and psychological underpinnings of intergender relations. The book is the compiled, ten-year core writing of author/blogger Rollo Tomassi from therationalmale.com. Rollo Tomassi is one of the leading voices in the globally growing, male-focused online consortium known as the “Manosphere”. Outlined are the concepts of positive masculinity, the feminine imperative, plate theory, operative social conventions and the core psychological theory behind Game awareness and “red pill” ideology. Tomassi explains and outlines the principles of intergender social dynamics and foundational reasoning behind them.
Perhaps the definitive work of gender dynamics for this generation – Clayton Long
About 4 years ago I watched a TV ad. Ad was about a fat boy (male in his 30) crying in his bed calling for his mother, because he was sick. At the same time his wife was standing beside, looking pity and giving him an advertised pill. I sat there with only one thought: ” what the hell.” That night I watched only ads. I was shocked with what I found. Almost every ad had the same concept of crying, weak or somehow passive man and woman in dominant role. I couldn’t fully comprehend the stuff I was seeing at that time. And so it began.
I wanted to understand. I wanted to know why. I wanted to know if I’m the only one or am I just going crazy. I’ve been in serious relationships, in playful, I had ONS, but when I tried to understand and rationalize my behavior and behavior of other people around me, I failed to make the correct order out of it.
This book in particular, was one of the first semi-serious evaluations I read about this topic. It helped me to structure my thoughts and understand my own actions, as well as people around me. For me it was like reading in the native language I knew when I was a kid, but then lost overtime, and when I started reading again, the language came back to me, and I could fully understand and enjoy the full power and passion of it, even more comparing to when I was a kid.
However, there is a downside. The downside comes not from the book itself, but rather from us and our own ego. Unintentionally we were set up that way that when you read the book, and you have your own “aha” moment, people tend to go from one extreme to another. They feel burned, they feel like they were lied to their whole life, and so their first reaction is anger, its irritation, its generalization of facts and actions of other people. Yes, it is necessary period of any workout, including mental, and its called pain period. At that point your best bet would be to lean back, observe, learn, and look around, and then, when you are calm, your anger is gone, and you are ready to act, do it as an adult. Do it as someone who has learned a new knowledge, someone who is in position of power, and got an absolutely unique ability to look from other perspective of view. Because now you do.
This is not a good or a bad book. This book is rationalization of male thoughts. You will understand what was happening in your high school, you will see now how come your wife left you after so many years of amazing marriage, you will see how your girlfriend could cheat with that tattoed punk, you will understand why your mother was sometimes acting not like your mother, you will see why your co-workers/classmates/ friends and family behave that way with the opposite sex, and you will laugh, cry, giggle, and will have this small smirk on your face., as you know this whole joke and you are the only one who can understand it. Embrace, prepare, and be ready to act.
All men have to navigate the sexual marketplace and relationships with women throughout their lives, and most men instinctively want a more sophisticated understanding of how that market really works. At least I always have. Unfortunately the modern media is so terrified of offending women and losing the marketing cashflow associated with them, it’s become aggressively anti-male to the detriment of the average guy. Most men spend their entire lives perceiving the gender power dynamics around them almost as white noise, with no real ability to tune into what’s actually happening in their interactions. Many men perceive their own gender and even themselves to be unworthy of the respect, dignity and options our society is so desperate to guarantee for the average woman, without really understanding why they feel this way.
The Rational Male is an easy to digest set of essays that essentially tune men into the real dynamics of the sexual marketplace, and the cultural/political forces surrounding it. It’s easy to see when reading it that the author’s primary intent is to educate the average guy about his potential, options, leverage and best strategies when interacting with women. It’s particularly valuable because it does an excellent job of explaining women’s sexual and relationship strategies, and some of the most common social conventions used to leverage guys into acting against their own best interest in their relationships without them even realizing it.
If you read and appreciated books like Men on Strike by Dr Helen Smith or The Myth of Male Power by Warren Farrell, you will probably enjoy this book as well, because although they cover different subjects they frequently touch on similar themes.
Some of the most interesting writing for me was on the topics of female hypergamy, the nature of Alpha and Beta men, the typical guys belief in relational equity, women hitting the wall, and the changing power dynamics between men and women as they age. It’s all easy to understand and digest, whilst still prompting the reader to think in a variety of directions about the connections and consequences of the ideas put forth. In short, it’s stimulating and energetic writing and I’ve never come across anything quite like it before.
It takes great courage to write a book like this in today’s PC culture, but it felt to me as though the author really had the best interests of the average guy in mind when he wrote it. I also felt he was very honest in his communication. I really appreciated that, and I’m recommending this book to all my guy friends. Keep up the great work Rollo, looking forward to the next one.
I’m going to cut right to the chase here. This is THE book for the man who wants step out of ignorance and embrace the truth about women and relationships in the world we currently live in. Most dating, sex, and marriage advice books are pretty old hat and seem to ignore the biological and behavioral processes that are rooted within women and turbocharged for better or worse (usually worse) due to the nature of modern societies. This aspect of relationships is highly relevant to the male, but is usually ignored to their own detriment.
Rollo presents the current landscape of relationships between men and women based on how they function in reality, not the common fantasies fed to you by mothers, family, churches, and the media. Some people will not be ready for these ideas and will prefer to live in a state of ignorance.
Whether you are married, dating, or simply hooking up, this book will splash you with a cold dose of reality that every man who prefers not to go through their life on one leg will desperately need to hear.
If you are at all interacting and dealing with females, then there is a HIGH likelihood that you are currently majorly screwing something up. Your happiness, your life, your net worth, your sex life, and especially your children are or will be at stake in this massively one sided world between men and women.
As a side note, it is a deceivingly long book based on the page numbers – the type is fairly small compared to most books I’ve gotten through amazon.
– Nuje Shanoya
This book has by far encapsulated more honest truth about the dating scene than any advice or self help book I’ve read thus far. I’d argue that, in a culture that seems to prevail the “Women are mysterious/you can’t figure us out” myth, that this should be prerequisite reading for men, because it’s common sense and logical approach to these subjects is a remarkably fresh breath of air.
– The Silver Serpent
This book has been more enlightening to me as a young adult more than any life experiences I’ve ever had in the years since I’ve become a young adult.
Tomassi doesn’t sugar coat anything and gives the hard reality that underlies the problems, expectations, difficulties, trials and everything in-between men and women and how they relate to each other. It would be difficult to imagine that there is anything that he says in this book that is actually controversial, rather reactions against it are more due to the fact that almost everything he has to say isn’t politically correct. Reading this might make you somewhat disillusioned about women if you’re a guy like me who previously used to believe that men and women were equal with each other or that they should always be treated nicely in any and all situations.
This entire book is nothing but an exposition about how female behavior manifests itself, and what this means if you happen to be a male. Some might view this more along the lines of a PUA book, and certainly almost everything he’s written can be applied to that end in mind, but all of our behavior is oriented towards us getting what we want out of a certain set of circumstances. He expounds on notions of female hypergamy, and female solipsism, women’s sexual market value, and useful guidelines for men to follow to avoid future mishaps and disasters that may arise in the course of a relationship.
My whole life I somehow felt that something was wrong with me feeling inadequate as a man. I now have the knowledge of what led to this feeling. For that I am deeply grateful. It is our duty to spread the truth and practice in order to become better persons and men. Thank you Rollo Tomassi.