Red Pill Monthly

As I mentioned in the prior comment thread, I’ll be testing out a once a month(ish) livestream podcast with Niko Choski for a while. This talk is meant to be an informal discussion of topics I go into on The Rational Male, as well as what’s trending in the manosphere. It’s also to give guys an opportunity for some feedback and exchange in the live comments.

Some of my regular readers may be wondering why I didn’t advertise this first trial more and the answer is I wanted to use this one as a test to see the initial response. I’ll be promoting future livestreams more aggressively, but I knew this one would be less than polished. I deliberately tried to keep it to an hour to make it more digestible, but we did go a little over to answer questions.

In this cast we discussed my article on The Red Pill balance and how a Red Pill awareness is not just vital to a man’s personal development with women, but how it can help in various other aspects of his life. We discuss the differences of that Red Pill perception in the MGTOW community that Niko has recently divided himself from.

You can of course comment on the YouTube feed, but I’m going to take open comments here about what you thought of the discussion and even my engaging in a once a month talk like this. I expect more than a few from the MGTOW communities will find there way here, but I’m more interested in what you thought about the idea of us doing this.

I’ve been asked for a while as to why I don’t just do a solo podcast myself, but I don’t really like to do things off the cuff with regard to what I write and explain. I prefer to approach things from all angles in my writing before I hit the publish button. That said I do see the value in a discussion like this when it’s about topics I’ve already covered or perhaps something going on in mainstream society or the ‘sphere.

So let me know what you think. The comment thread is open so if you want to tell me it’s a bad idea, fine. If you like it, great. If you want to chime in on any of what we discussed feel free to.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

47 comments on “Red Pill Monthly

  1. Rollo could you and Niko speak on the effects on trauma and the awakening of the red pill awareness?

  2. “In this cast we discussed my article on The Red Pill balance and how a Red Pill awareness is not just vital to a man’s personal development with women, but how it can help in various other aspects of his life. ”

    Remember, that the blue pill metaphor is about how people (or sentient machines if you’re watching the movie-LOL) are trying to manipulate your perception, and your mental model of the world so that, you labor under the illusion there is no alternative to doing things that benefit them, or their social order- instead of you.

    Taking the red pill is a metaphor for shucking off your set of implanted illusions, and deciding gaining an understanding of objective reality.

    Of course, this extends to all areas of life- not just women.

    In fact- the manosphere conceit that taking the red pill is a metaphor about women, without taking a man’s (or a woman’s) entire life into account, is intellectual failure writ large.

    in fact, many men can’t even begin to apply the red pill metaphor to their interactions with women until they’ve discarded their illusions about bigger issues.

  3. Iron Rule 1 is Frame is Everything.

    This abstract concept of Frame is hard for many beginners to grasp. I still struggle with it after some months of reading up on Red Pill.

    I’d like Rollo and Niko to discuss Frame in-depth in one of the episodes.

    One contributor in MRP has a strong series of posts with his point of view, in case anyone reading my comment is interested:

  4. Rollo, do you have a SoundCloud? That would be a great way to post, as I can listen without keeping my screen on (yt).

    I’m sure iTunes can work great for iphoners too.

    Looking forward to hearing this.

  5. Hey Rollo I appreciate all you do and have learned much from your essays. I’m recently unplugged and have enjoyed this blogger: Illimitable Men. You may want to add him to your blogroll as he does really quality work. Looking forward to listening to you and Niko (football first for me today).

  6. Enjoyed discussion very much I listened to this while rebuilding a nail gun.It is a good format w/Niko seeking clarification and Rollo giving it.Looking forward to next months edition.

  7. I think many confuse the male ‘burden of performance’ with the act of ‘qualifying oneself’ to & ‘earning the affection/love/respect’ from female society as summarized by the Blue Pill stereotype of the male as a ‘human doing’ (valued only for his utility) & the female as a ‘human being’ (valued for her female parts); hence the Red Pill idea of male disposability & the ‘pussy pass’.

    Embracing the Red Pill & MGTOW perspective, then, would entail the conversion (diversion) of the male ‘burden of performance’ to exclusively male ends for personal (and self) enrichment, leaving the greater female collective to struggle along with fewer male servants & diminishing returns because Equality:

    Neither Men nor Women are entitled to the other gender’s resources unless they have been freely given, according to an ongoing process of Affirmative Consent, wherein all pre-existing patriarchal contracts, traditions, responsibilities & obligations are considered null & void.

  8. Hi Rollo, i liked it very much.
    Please continue with that.

    As IAS said it before, i would also like you to have a talk about frame!

    Thanks and cheers

  9. @IAS

    I actually don’t think that series of posts zeros in on what frame is at all. It’s good advice but it’s basically just masculine self-improvement 101. Once you have all his steps in place it will make being in your frame more appealing, sure, but that’s not the same as the frame itself.

    I just made a short post about the difference between frame and power here:

    Frame isn’t value. Frame isn’t attractiveness. Frame isn’t power. Frame is how you see the world and how you react to inputs from it based upon that. Your frame is ultimately determined by the way you’d react to any given circumstance. Someone yells at you – do you see that as an attack and get mad? Or do you see that as childish and react with amusement? Or do you see it as a source of desired tension to sexualize and escalate? Or do you see your role as a diplomat or supplicator, so you crumple and apologize? All of these reactions would tell you a bit about what your frame is. It’s not just reactive though – it also involves the way you pursue goals, and which goals you pursue.

    The stronger your frame is, the more consistent your reaction to similar inputs will be. A strong frame is resistant to peer pressure – like ‘she cries when I yell at her so I’m going to apologize and back down instead.’ Or ‘everyone thinks being a doctor is cooler than being a forester so I’m going to pursue that instead of what I really want to do.’ A weak frame is always tossed about by what is easy or what other people expect/want from you. A strong frame creates a vivid personality, a person very uniquely themself. From the post I linked, think of the lone gunman who follows no-one’s rules but his own.

    Frame is similar to what we sometimes refer to as ‘personality’ – as in, ‘Joe sure is a strong personality.’

    Doing things that you like is how you develop frame. Or if you don’t know what you like bc you’ve always just done what everyone else does, doing a bunch of stuff till you find out. Not lifting weights and reading books.

  10. Thumbs up on the idea of a once a month livestream with Niko. Your vantage point with Niko’s new stance in the Manosphere will create good dialogue for people looking to self improve and have better frame in personal/social/work relationships.

    My favorite part of the livestream was discussing Burden of Performance and it’s tie to the male experience. I eat healthy, workout and dress well to create my best persona, which are all factors that translate into my confidence to give my best performance.

    In regards to future topics, I understand your advice and mindset is given as a steer in the right direction rather than a yes or no on what decision to choose. There has been little discussion on prenuptial agreements for men who choose to take that plunge. Men need to hear they must protect their ability to make money and future earnings.

    Another topic for discussion are suitable careers for women being considered for LTRs. I’d personally give a thumbs up to careers that highlight feminine qualities such as nurses, teachers, working with children with learning disabilities, etc. Would appreciate some light shed on these topics.

    My pledge brother started me on being Red Pill educated after I graduated college in 2010. I attribute a lot of my success to you in regards to how I hold frame in social situations and the importance of having a mental point of origin with women. I became a reader of the blog prior to my current relationship. I’ve read both of your books as well. I’ve instilled the values of my relationship being complementarity based rather than societal default of being egalitarian. Thank you for all you’ve written and I look forward to future content.

  11. @Forge the Sky

    SJF, told me some of what you just explained about what frame is.

    So let me put it another way. Is my “Frame” basically nothing more than how I see myself? Where see means what people see me doing in regards to the way I; treat myself and others, feed, educate, spend my time, who I bother talking to, what my goals are, etc?

    If what I guess is true, then, isn’t my Frame a tool for how I filter through people who I come in contact with in my life?

    And if THAT’S true, then how is Frame not power, or at least a form of power? I can change who I see myself as and it absolutely DOES change the outcome of events. Not as many as I previously hoped since I’m not the best actor yet, but when I “change”, people notice that. So how can frame not be a form of leverage?

    Is it because Frame always seems to start as an obstacle to integrating Red Pill truth? If so than I can see how Frame is really more like a big forest on my path to self-actualization that I need to learn to manage.

  12. Hey Rollo,

    Sure, I’d love for you to go and have a chat and a Q&A on the monthly.

    It was fun to hear some people defending the MGTOW as a sole answer to their problems with women and society.

  13. Rollo,

    I missed mostnofntne first part of it but was glad to have heard what I did. Especially thought the part about burden of performance was good because some guys in the chat didn’t get it and perhaps that is an opportunity for further discussion.

    I don’t know much about Niko so was good to learn about him.
    Really like the chat in general and that you use YouTube. There is a lot of potential engagement using the questions from chat during the live show.

    Looking forward to more shows and always appreciate your exemplary efforts!

  14. ” . . . how is Frame not power, or at least a form of power? ”

    A wrench is always a wrench, but it is only a lever when you apply it to an appropriate bolt.

  15. I thought the part where you discussed men becoming Red Pill aware, but scared to use it was an awesome segment of the podcast. I think it was near the end of it.

    It’s weird because a lot of Red Pill transitioning is in-field practice whether it’s with women, friends, work, or family. You have to learn to internalize it instead memorizing or reciting shit you listen to or read about.

    Rollo, you should have a post where you just ask the readers to suggest questions for you and Niko to discuss. Take the top 5 questions/topics brought up and roll with it. I wouldn’t mind hearing you discuss more of the War Brides phenomenon with regards to the Muslim invasion in Europe. I remember a while back in conversation threads you briefly discussed it. I would love more input on that subject from you, and I would like to know what Niko thinks of that as well. I’m not MGTOW, but he seems very rational and the 2 of you could be very good together agree or disagree.

    It was a rough podcast, but I think it has potential once you guys polish it up a bit.

  16. @kfg

    Thank you. Maybe my rush to assume it was what caused me to miss the point in the first place.

    Everything where it should be.

  17. kfg’s the only dude I know who is unambiguously better at analogies than me.

    Yollo, it’s true that you’ll tend to be more effective with a strong frame. But that’s because frame allows you to apply power in a more diciplined and consistent fashion, rather than rashly or capriciously.

    If your frame also is based upon solid information about how the world works (i.e. you’re pursuing attainable goals in an effective fashion rather than goals based around virtues or concepts not naturally occurring), then you also increase the efficiency of your power.

    Consistency, efficiency, discipline….y.

  18. On Frame Game & Power
    PUA frame is much like a picture frame in that it is either rustic,polished,antiqued or intricately carved to ad value to the painting and appeal to the viewer.The artist exercises his power in both producing the painting and choosing the proper frame.In maintaining his frame he the PUA chooses the venue for entertainment,food,sex.If she doesn’t like gravy in her salad he uses his power to send it back.Or risk losing frame.If he asked her where she wants to go or what she wants to do he immediately loses frame.If she doesn’t like the venue or other choices there is no sell better luck next time.This frame is fine tuned to fit the man and his comfort zone ie: blue shirt sets of the eyes these shoes make him tall it all ads value to his image.What he says and does while it should be natural this and everything above can be adjusted to appeal to the current target market,although making adjustments is non conducive to a LTR.

    LTR or married game is like the structural frame of a building assembled to support wind shear ,snow load,and live load.While also supporting the power system,interior,and exterior coatings etc.If the power is improperly installed in the frame picture a bunch of extension cords stretched all over the place getting kicked loose overheating a fire hazard.Power needs to be installed and used properly with respect for cover load and location of use.Disrespectful use of power is a fire hazard.LTR or married game should also include all the aspects of PUA frame to be successful.Thus LTR frame is harder LTR game is easier with practice and LTR power requires tact and finesse.

    Relationship frame game and power are like business PR.A company providing a service requires a frame to operate in.As do his vendors that generally have more power than the service company that they supply their product to mainly due to overhead capital and network or larger frame.While the service industry has the power of choice in vendors it must show respect for the vendors frame or risk getting put on the back burner or cut off from their product completely.My RP view of this would place the woman in the position of service and man in the position of supplier or vendor.Not equal but both necessary to one another for survival as neither can be expected to support this much frame game or power on their own while running on real time.

    A good friend of mine is an artist,he has work in high end galleries all over the country.One time he received a small check from a gallery and when he called to ask they had sold someone elses painting on the contingency it had to be in his frame.Fuckin talk about mad,his painting pulled out of his frame and put in storage.Even worse his own handcrafted frame on someone else’s painting.fucking posers.But that is the marketplace.

  19. Hey Rollo as a big fan I’d love to ask a question/ propose an idea, if it’s not
    too much hassle to get back.

    What is your opinion on attainability I have been reading articles that explains
    women will look for men slightly higher value then them but they will not go for
    a man who’s value is too high and out of there reach, at the risk there ego will
    be stung by there rejection, so they “auto reject” these men and justify there
    reasons to themselves to protect there ego, even if mating with these men would
    optimise hypergamy. Would love to know your opinion and greatly appreciate a
    response, here’s an article explaining it better:

  20. Good points on the discussion. On the burden of performance: 50yr old meth addict in prison. Jolting. I think that even beats being a beta buck doctor who commits suicide at 50 after waking up?? Or not. It depends.

    Everything in that discussion is “old”, but is new food for thought.

    Thanks to Rollo and Niko for taking the time.

  21. Rollo,

    I’m really excited to listen to another podcast with you – i’ve heard you on christian mcqueen and tom torero. Any chance you guys could make your way into the apple itunes podcasts??

    Love your work and thank you for changing my life bro!!

  22. Really good podcast, Rollo. And a particularly great RP introduction to suggest for recently-awakened men who are reading challenged or who balk at the sheer amount of material on TRM. lol

    Like several others here I had no idea it was a live event, though.

  23. Rollo, What about a Podcast about applying RP and Game in a professional context?

    Would be very nice to hear that, because that what i think is one of the most important challenges in a man’s life.


  24. Having eyes recently open to these lines of thought. And still finding my way through. I am open for any detail oriented line of reason on these matters. We all know truth is the first casualty in any warfare. Mental , social or physical .

  25. I enjoyed hearing you two talk about varying issues and i look forward to what the future brings to the discussion. It look me a few minutes “maybe i missed it?” until i could discern who was talking to who.

    As newly red pill aware and having just terminated my abusive marriage, i would like to see some sort of hierarchy of general red pill awareness topics for guys who might not know anything at all about red pill or the manosphere. When i first got turned on to this whole thing it was because i stumbled across a website that was talking about shit tests and in that article i encountered many abbreviations i didn’t have an idea of the meaning for. Further investigation brought me here and i’ve read every article in the “best of” series. I continue to reread articles so the info sinks in. Ultimately you will decide how encompassing these video talks will be. You could easily take everything in your blog and talk about it on video and in a way i hope that you don’t, as reading something and listening to it, are two different ways of acquiring information.

    I continue to look forward to reading your work.

  26. @camarowoes

    I highly recommend you start by reading at least the “Best of Year One” posts first, then feel free to ask questions.

    If you haven’t read Rollo’s books yet, they’re also ‘required reading’ for the newly unplugged man.

    Also suggest you put the following books into your queue…

    ‘No more Mr Nice Guy’, by Robert Glover
    ‘The Way of Men’, by Jack Donovan
    ‘The 48 Laws of Power’, by Robert Greene

  27. Hey Rollo, this isn’t about the post but about your books.

    Have you thought about converting your books to audiobooks and uploading to audible? I’d love you have The Rational Male in audiobook form. It’s not too expensive if you opt for revenue-share and use ACX to self-publish on audible.

  28. Rollo,
    It appears that you may have a stay at home wife. Do you think this would be a requirement or major factor in enabling a successful red pill marriage? I can’t see how a husband and wife, earning similar amounts, could fool themselves into thinking the husband is the mental point of origin. Income disparity between the spouses is essential to a redpill marriage I suppose, do you agree?


  29. @Mike: there are married couples where the wife earns more than the husband and the man could still be his own mental point of origin.

  30. So I’d have loved to listen and comment, but apparently the podcast doesn’t work on iPad-just like the MID seminar didn’t. Maybe a disclosure was-is warranted?!

    Random thought-is Stokholm Syndrome just another word for hypergamy?

  31. @Mike

    Perhaps the essay linked below will give you some perspective. (And as always, read the links.)

    And perhaps read Rollo’s second book. Sexual Market Value figures into the equation. And income fits into a man’s Marriage Market Value depending on a woman’s station in life. Her station in life as described by Rollo’s 2nd book. And of course, why get married if not to have a more stable situation for children? A woman with children with either an alpha or beta male certainly changes the equation as her firmware needs safety and provisioning for the children. And Marriage Market Value figures into that, esp. in the upper middle class. And here is where a Blue Pill mindset will get a man into trouble. (Just as Dean, the character in the movie Blue Valentine.)

    And the human brain can pretty much fool itself into thinking just about anything. Ever hear of Game?

    “………. SMV doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Men may have an Alpha dominance established only to have it knocked back down after failing a particularly bad shit test. He may rate lower or higher depending on a social status that’s in flux. A woman must find ways to cope with an ever decaying SMV once she reaches her SMV peak and begins her decline towards the Wall. Childbirth and rearing, weight gain, satisfying a security need, and many other factors may also accelerate this process.

    What I’m going to do here is propose a general outline for SMV disparity based on the ratio between both sexes. Before you read my outlines, keep in mind the Cardinal Rule of Relationships: In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least. The overarching concept here is that the person in the relationship with the superior sexual market value will at least be perceived by the person of lesser value to need them less than the other. If it is established by concrete social proof that one person is of higher SMV than the other, it’s usually an accepted reality of that relationship, but bear in mind that it is the fluctuating perception of SMV that has more influence on the attachment and strength of that relationship.

    Finally, from a feminine perspective it’s important to remember that Hypergamy is a game of perceptions, testing, confirmations and retesting new perceptions. This process has a pronounced effect on SMV evaluation, which is then influenced by a woman’s own self-perceptions.”

  32. Great podcast. Rollo contrasts Red pill vs. “MicNows” or something? WTF is that? Also, Hi-Perg-Ah-Me. Not Hyper-Gamy – as I originally thought as well.

  33. I was thrilled to hear you speak. I am 57 years old and I recently divorced after 23 years of marriage and it completely turned my view of the world upside down. So, thanks Rollo. You have spoken to me.

    I just wish you were more courageous. Niko is a nice guy, and has his perspective, but he is not on your level. I wish you would share your breath of fresh air with a larger community, test it in the world that has something really smart to say, and is willing and able to put your views in a different frame. I believe the exchange of ideas is fundamental to humanity.

  34. I would like to see a downloadable version via soundcloud, itunes, or some other format so I can listen on the go and not be tethered to a computer

  35. @Rollo (or anyone else for that matter)
    I don’t have exactly the same problem as they guy in the podcast who says that he’s failing to become aroused by women, but I can sort of understand what he means, and it would be something you might want to explore in later posts.

    TL;DR version: for the newly red pill aware man, what are women good for besides sex/physical intimacy? What does he have to hope for and look forward to upon meeting a woman? If a woman is incapable of loving a man in the way he wants her to love him, why wouldn’t he just pursue his own dualistic strategy by buying a dog for companionship and saving up for top-shelf hookers?

    Presumably you enjoy Mrs Tomassi’s company, have good conversations, do interesting and fun things together from time to time?

    I’ve been vaguely aware of the reality of the red pill for a long time, and so even though I only stumbled across the Rational Male blog last year, I haven’t really had any trouble accepting it. And overall my game and frame control has improved a lot, and in many ways I’m doing a lot better in this ‘new reality’.

    However, I’m struggling with my actual motivation for meeting women. I don’t really have approach anxiety anymore, I’d been running both day and night game for a couple of years. I wouldn’t say I subscribed to the soulmate myth completely, but tended to think of women as being the purveyors of sugar and spice and all things nice.

    But now, I struggling to see the value of a woman besides being a warm place to stick your dick. This guy with whom I go sarging has sensed my lack of enthusiasm, and calls it ‘approach apathy/indifference’. For a long time I believed that I was failing with women because of my own shortcomings, despite being fairly tall, good-looking, intelligent, successful and having a range of interesting hobbies. Nothing I did would ever seem to be good enough to win a woman’s affection (unless she was significantly and obviously lower SMV than me).

    Now I’ve realised that (apart from needing to adopt more alpha traits) I’m pretty much fine the way I am. And that I’m actually dealing with spoiled, vapid, hypergamous ‘princesses’ who are getting through life by virtue of having a vagina. So many are deeply uninteresting, with cookie-cutter views on politics, music, philosophy, and a propensity for inane gossip. Sure, they travel, but I’ve realised that a lot of this has to do with getting laid.

    Some PUAs describe sarging as a process of picking up rocks in the hopes you’ll find a precious stone. For me, however, it just feels like wading through a giant ocean of shit looking for a $5 note. Probably one of the stages of red pill acceptance, but I’m kind of stuck right now.

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