Well another year has come and gone. I generally view the end of August as my year marker for The Rational Male. I didn’t add a page for year 4 since I’m not sure I want to clutter up the top of my blog layout with links pages, but I may yet combine the best of years 4 and 5 into one page.
A lot has happened in this span, I began the Red Pill Monthly talks with Niko Chosky. I still think I sound like a nasally teenager when I hear my voice, but the feedback has been nothing short of amazing on these so I believe we’ll continue with them for the foreseeable future.
Right after my year 4 best-of I did my first liv appearance in Vegas with Christian, Goldmund and Tanner Guzy at The Man in Demand Conference. I’ve discussed doing another one with Christian McQueen and we’re looking into venues for 2017. This was just an overwhelming experience to meet up with my readers in person, do the talk and have dinner at Sinatra’s. This was the first time for me to do an on premise event and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a nervous wreck the night before, but every guy in attendance just impressed me to no end and the whole thing was something I’ll remember for the rest of my life.
I went through the process of having the audio mastered (courtesy of Sam Botta) to make it available via DigiRAMP for anyone to get a hold of now too.
Probably the biggest TRM news of 2016 was the release of the audio book of The Rational Male. It was a long time coming, but I think well worth the wait. I’ve come to believe that a book needs a time to mature into what its overall reception will be. The Rational Male book continues to sell very well and my focus has always been on emphasizing the printed book above all else since I feel that medium is the best to spark discussions and pass along to men who need it at the right time. That said, Sam Botta convinced me that men listen to books more than they read them so I thought the time was right and he’d just gotten back in the saddle so to speak after his debilitation in a hit & run car incident.
The book has exceeded any expectation I ever had for it and I still receive emails and tweets about how it’s changed men’s lives in the best possible way. The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine is also doing far better than I’d hoped if not eclipsing the first book. Sam and I are now in the process of doing the audio for TRMPM and I expect it will go live in early 2017.
The blog traffic continues to grow too.
As most readers know, I do very little self-promotion for TRM and I only advertise the book on the TRP reddit forum and posting occasional Amazon reviews on Twitter. I always want the the message of this blog and my work to be relayed by the men who read and contribute to it. I’m a believer in the bottom up plan for improving men’s lives and ultimately the social order we find ourselves. I’m glad to see men passing on what they learn here. I’m happy to be able to focus on my ideas and have men spread the word for me.
I’ve done art direction and brand management for over two decades now. It’s what I do for a living so it wouldn’t be a stretch for me to convert TRM into a similar commercial success, but that’s never been my goal. From the outset I wanted to just do what I do and talk about the ideas I’ve come to or the dots I’ve connected. That isn’t to say I don’t appreciate making a little money from it, but I’ll never compromise my message to sell more books or start a Patreon site.
I’ve had guys tell me I should quit my day job and write full time, but I’ve never really needed to be an author for my livelihood. I do quite well for myself and not being beholden to being an official author allows me the freedom to do what I do without the concern of having to write ‘for’ anyone. I know there are guys whose schtick is to treat their writing like a product and they tell you to write for what your audience wants to read, but I think this inherently compromises the authenticity of the real message.
My goal isn’t to sell books, it’s to genuinely change men’s lives for the better with the tools and truths I present in my work. The Rational Male isn’t a ‘product’ for salesmen to sell, it’s a collection of ideas that, really, we’re all responsible for authorship of. Ideas are a hard thing to suppress, and they last far longer than the men who conceived them.
Honestly, when I started this blog back in 2011 I never imagined it would grow into what it’s become today. I have some plans now to do a site redesign. I’ve never really focused on the look of the blog, I just poured myself into its content, but I think after 5 years I’ll freshen the look up soon. I’m also in the middle of the first round of edits for my third book, the working title being The Rational Male, The Red Pill. That may change, but the primary focus will be on defining what the Red Pill is from an intersexual dynamics perspective. As a matter of policy I generally refrain from being too prescriptive for individual men to apply their Red Pill awareness, but in the new book I’ll break this rule and provide some generally applicable ways to live in a Red Pill paradigm.
Red Pill parenting and family interactions in a feminine-primary social order will feature prominently. Yes, it will include selections from the blog again, but with each I’ve added what I believe are general solutions to Red Pill problems, plus more new content.
Well, that’s it. I continue to be humbled by the response and reception of The Rational Male and I want to extend my true gratitude for everyone’s input, participation, reading my ideas and helping me do what I do – even the critics and detractors make me a better Red Pill author. So here’s what I thought represents the best posts from year 5.
Let me know what your favorites were in the comments and let me know how TRM has helped you as well.
With much gratitude,
Rollo Tomassi
Interviews
The Feminine Imperative
Parenting
Red Pill / Game
Positive Masculinity
Hypergamy
Social
I’ve just been watching todd’s stuff and I’ve seen how he’s flipped numbers that have been cold for weeks, sometimes months. so I want to try practicing stuff like that. even if it gets me nowhere, it will still help improve my text game (which I am still not so great at now lol)
@walalala
IF you have no contact with these girls there is no “magic” ping text for them.
disagree!
like i said…i have had ZERO FUCKING CONTACT WITH A CHICK FOR OVER HALF A YEAR and suddenly we met up and fucked and fucked until she wanted to DTR, and then stopped, and now i only get at her once in a blue moon
6 months is the longest its been for a conversion, but ya….you really just never fucking know.
@kfg I don’t give a shit about the chicks. I don’t give a shit if I never see them. I am interested in their numbers SOLELY to practice text game. I think that is some of the disconnect here. Some guys are thinking I’m like “man, I really liked x chick, how can I get her back” whereas I am really thinking more technically “my text game kind of sucks. I’ve got all these cold numbers in my phone. I can use these numbers to practice text game.” So I am thinking about the NUMBERS and the opportunity to PRACTICE… Read more »
@scray
thanks
could you give a few examples of being light-hearted and funny? like give me a run through of how you’d ping a girl. . .then ping again a little later. . .then ping again. . .and then when she responds, how you work that into a meetup.
its just that unlike in person gaming, I have VERY LITTLE experience texting, so example texts help me out A LOT.
@Hank:
“So I am thinking about the NUMBERS and the opportunity to PRACTICE that they represent.”
This I understood perfectly.
“could you give a few examples of being light-hearted and funny?”
This I do not understand at all.
It doesn’t sound half so much like you are trying to learn how to calibrate with women as it does like you are trying to learn how to calibrate with humanity.
@kfg light hearted and funny **IN TEXT** I can do that just fine in person, but it is a whole different animal thru text. Did this with the blakc girl who texted me. I was being my usual self-amusing, jokey, C&F self . . .which works in person since she can see my body language that I am just messing with her and I can see her body language and calibrate off that. But thru text she can’t get a read on me, so what works in person in text is just confusing and weird for her. I need to… Read more »
Hank I’d say your sense of humor is pretty dark and weird (not that there’s anything wrong with that, I’m pretty similar there), so just keep in mind that stuff is very hard to convey over text. Like see yareally in the comments of the previous post (I think) about his experience with how texting has evolved in the last few years. Even playful flirty stuff can be SO EASY to misunderstand that the girl would rather not risk talking to a weirdo, than take the chance on a cool dude. My “light-hearted ping” stuff: when I’m out walking around,… Read more »
Great read
https://smile.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0789496518/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1473876423&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=superflirt
Hank
The mere fact you are reluctant to consider ditching these numbers should inform you of your state.
You are precluding even the possibility of simply going out and getting a bunch of new ones.
Think about why that is?
Scray
I would say the biggest part of “just be cool” advice is to have an abundance mentality. Which Hank is no working on…
Just be cool…
Hank
Ditching a bunch of numbers because you are confident you can get new ones sounds like it will be an entirely new skill for you to develop.
[…] post, but I’ll foreshadow a bit with this; sifting through one of his usually long comments, this bit from YaReally stuck with me (emphasis […]
@kfg “Ya Really has spun off into planning how to use Red Pill knowledge to achieve Blue Pill Ideals.” This is more for the 90% who want that lifestyle and will TRY to get it even WITH a shitty plan with bad odds stacked against them in a lopsided legal agreement. Like, the reality is guys don’t have any other idea how to successfully have and raise kids, so they’re going to keep walking to the slaughterhouse. They’re not going to just all NOT reproduce. We’re going to see more and more women Eat Pray Love them, as the stats… Read more »
PART TWO, don’t worry you’ll all be rid of me when I’m no longer sick and have other shit to do again lol: @Trent Lane God I look forward to when I see your name pop up during this discussion lol “Because all we have now, as a theoretical example, is guys like Gene Simmons and (maybe/probably) other celebrities” We have other examples if you go out and look for them, like befriending people in swinger/alt scenes, but like, you won’t know Mike and Jessica from up the street who have an open relationship and are raising a nice kid… Read more »
@Ya Really: “We’re going to see more and more women Eat Pray Love them . . .” Then they are hosed. ” . . . let’s figure out a better system for them that has better odds of them not ending up working 2 jobs and living in their car to support their ex and her new boyfriend in his former house.” Never be named as, and thus never be acknowledged as, the father. Otherwise they may end up thinking that living in their car while holding down two jobs was the Good Old Days. When a woman names you… Read more »
“I WANT to find the flaws in the plan so we can fix them . . .”
Having a child.
@kfg Right, there’s no 100% flawless system that’s going to have ZERO risk, to have a kid is bringing on risk by default. We just need a system with the lowest POSSIBLE risk. “And divorce is a trip to the amusement park compared to family court and child support.” Like ya, for sure, I don’t think anyone would disagree with that, and even without legal marriage you’ll have to deal with family court if you two separate. But 1) having dread etc on your side VS legal marriage will make it easier to keep her attracted and 2) family court… Read more »
” We just need a system with the lowest POSSIBLE risk.” Don’t be named as the father. ” . . . you’ll have to deal with family court if you two separate.” So the whole you can “just walk” thing is right out the window. ” . . . we should educate men to EXPECT to go to family court at some point . . .” This is the same as educating them that they will be hosed at some point. ” . . . prepare in advance for that (collect evidence that you’re the better caregiver etc from day… Read more »
@yareally “If you weren’t able to demonstrate Brad Pitt level value to her when you initially interacted with her then you don’t have the high value to her to get away with this. It doesn’t matter how much value you ACTUALLY have, what matters is how much value she THINKS you have.” The problem with guys that emulate high value instead of being high value, is that incongurence slips in. You: When are you free? Her: Not at all, I’ll text you if something cancels Real high value guys are doing lots of shit besides sarging and Internet debating with… Read more »
anon: “”Look at a guy like Tucker Max; incorrigible player gets locked down with a kid and utterly redesigns his personality to fit into his wife’s narrative.” Ya, wouldn’t it have been better if instead of fitting into his wife’s narrative he had a strategy to avoid legal marriage and still be with his girl and kid?” That was his strategy. I’m not even sure he’s married now (he got engaged several months after his kid was born). Is that the sort of longterm success story men should aspire to? You should sell Amway. “Don’t you want to be rich?… Read more »
“The risks of other partners to any pltr set up is not well understood by the proponents. Dopamine and oxytocin are powerful behavior modifiers and the link to attraction as well as pair bonding. How rational can a male be on drugs?” “Rules for thee, not for me.” Seriously… I have to deal with my own guilt, and I come here and get a fucking daily dose of it…. Here of all fucking places. Sentient of all fucking people. smh. Rollo, Sentient, and Blax are here doing the shaming while all three of them have exactly the pLTR’s that YaReally… Read more »
Facts= shaming is blue pill language.
Facts are facts.
@ Andy
Again, condolences on your failed, diviorce raped marriage.
I am sure you will find a solution.
My solution id the same as it has always been. No pearl clutching. I have always said a man does not ever have to get married. Most men should never get married. Men can do whatever they want.
sorry if you take offense to that.
I dont mind unmarried guys that dont have 1 kid brainstorming.
I support men doing whatever they want to do.
I dont support constant whining and complaining.
Do what you want.
“I dont mind unmarried guys that dont have 1 kid brainstorming.”
I don’t mind either, but they need to realize that having a kid and being a father is an “all in” event.
And exactly what they are all in for.
Or “squish,” just like grape.
“(collect evidence that you’re the better caregiver etc from day one)” LOLOLOLOLOLOL Hang on a minute while I spray Lysol to rid the air of the rainbow farts on that suggestion. Field Report: Courts don’t give a FUCK. I can share the gross details, but really they don’t care. Momma just needs to look sympathetic. You can have an Excel spreadsheet that documents everything with finances, schedules, missed school days and all sorts of shit. Momma can just scribble shit down on a scratch pad and submit that. I shit you not, that happened with my divorce case. Doesn’t matter… Read more »
“This. Got some hugbox going on here from the old guys using this place as a social club instead of a place that could help create legitimate change for men and future generations of men.” I call bullshit on that. Utter bullshit. Ya, who does this site belong to? The owner gets to the rules, tone and tenor. Rollo has stated many times it’s a hot kitchen. If he has a problem with the old guys like you do then he can handle it by banning them etc… The fact that this is NOT a just PUA site makes it… Read more »
Quite a gamma meltdown Yareally. Enigmatic, truculent and disingenuous.
How does that shark look from up there Fonzie?
Yeah a cubic zirconia can be had for little cost and no risk of loss, but if what you value is a diamond it ain’t the same. No matter how hard you bleat about it.
And Andy. Don’t be a fool and a pussy… You are not a victim. You do what you want, you live with that. You were not swindled and are not being hustled. LOL.
Andy
Do you know what happens when a pair bond is broken? Have you fucked other girls yet?
Do you understand what bond and break even mean? Why these chemicals even work the way they do?
“I support men doing whatever they want to do.” lol, no you don’t. You’ve been trying to hold me back from fucking day 1 that I was here. Admit it. You know it’s true. I’m working past all these limiting beliefs and you and other guys are out here reinforcing them. People I look up to… It’s disappointing. You have great advice sometimes, but you need to you embrace the fact that there are gray areas in ALL AREAS OF LIFE and stop judging. Especially when you YOURSELF are participating in a gray area that you’re actively shaming against. You… Read more »
“Do you know what happens when a pair bond is broken? Have you fucked other girls yet?
Do you understand what bond and break even mean? Why these chemicals even work the way they do?”
Dude. I have been in love many times. I wish I could see the vision of me you guys have in your head…. lol.
While raising children with one girl?
Somebody get Andy a box of kleenex.
Look, Im not on a high horse. Read yourself man… ” im not complaining…” The a second later, ” im complaining…”.
If I cant offer you ANY advice as a married man, then scroll. Stop complaining. If you believe Ya is offering you great advice that I as a married man cannot, DO WHAT YOU WANT.
Hugbox….yeah right.
In the age of tech anything can be recorded and used against you at just about any time. That quickie piece of strange in Vegas can turn into not to quickie extortion. Alternately, you’re looking for a unicorn mistress who doesn’t care that you’re married and just wants the thrill of the rut! It’s so very 2016. But, oops…women who go for married family men aren’t usually ones with better character so they’re probably lying about not caring, or looking to exploit you (sure, NAMistressesALT, but it’s more the rule than the exception…hey, you might get lucky but luck isn’t… Read more »
“While raising children with one girl?”
No. Do you think maybe that plays into some of my guilt? Hmmmm? Maybe that’s 99% of it…. Jesus. Thanks for the positivity, encouragement and trust.
” . . . you’re looking for a unicorn mistress who doesn’t care that you’re married . . .”
No, you are looking for one who wants you to be married, because that makes you “safe,” i.e. you will be discrete and won’t go all boyfriend on her.
@hank could you give a few examples of being light-hearted and funny? sending gifs is always a good thing…. “:)” “Payday today” “Just heading to work” just put a funny caption for them. but generally 2016 is the golden age for building value and comfort through text. back just like 4 years ago it wasnt as easy to send image files, audio, etc. through text. if she responds with some kind of ‘you don’t give up do you’ or ‘lol you’re still texting me’ or any shit like that, just http://replygif.net/i/430.gif be creative. I create gifs of myself all the… Read more »
@Blax @All
“If I cant offer you ANY advice as a married man”
If you believe Ya is offering you great advice that I as a married man cannot”
Well there’s the discord
@ Andy
Can you give me a brief update of your situation? I’m out of the loop and don’t know what’s going on in your relationship at the moment and would like to know, if you don’t mind.
Andy
Guilt? Guilt he says… So you need some third party’s permission or absolution for YOUR choices and actions?
Wow… KFG is right go back and read Y1.
They’ve been avoiding answering this shit trying to distract with semantic battles for 8 pages because there IS no good answer. Because their reasoning is based on feels and FI-social conditioning that they didn’t realize they had until we started asking questions and now they’re trying to deal with the cognitive dissonance. These guys are still clutching to the madonna/whore FI-based complex. @SJF “I finally have my eyes opened so much more than even yesterday in regards to red pill awareness.” You are more concerned with convincing everyone here that you’re growing than actually growing. I hated every minute of… Read more »
@YaReally women’s cushy HR jobs remain. Who needs HR when there’s no more H to manage? The only thing that will keep it from hitting women as hard is that they’ll still be able to fall back on their womb if they’re young enough. I really think the result will just be upper tier dudes having increasingly larger harems, soft (perhaps hard?) reinstatement of polygamy, and a de facto return to patriarchy as those men gain tremendous amounts of power. I suspect it might ultimately look a lot like a lot of the middle east minus the whole deserts and… Read more »
kfg: “No, you are looking for one who wants you to be married, because that makes you “safe,” i.e. you will be discrete and won’t go all boyfriend on her.” In every family I’ve seen adversely impacted by adultery (many), not a single one of them went into it believing they would be “indiscrete”. Okay, to be perfectly honest several of them WERE indiscrete (but not indiscrete to the level YR has asserted can be pulled off effortlessly) but most weren’t. Murphy’s law applies. Look at Petraeus. Broadwell had everything to lose but she went bunny boiler when she thought… Read more »
comment in moderation, help me rollo!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_f6qFBQD9U
“Hey… wasn’t me.”
I am with @Andy, @KFG and @YaReally on this issue. I am very surprised at some of the comments at play here, from guys with massive Frame and Red Pill experience from which I have learnt a lot. @Sentient: I really hold you in high regard and you gave me specifically good advice more than once… I don’t even get your objections, you are basically doing part of what @Andy wants to do and @YaReally is using you as a positive example of what could work (like, your exact situation minus the legal marriage). @KFG: Spot on that the flaw… Read more »
@redlight The problem with guys that emulate high value instead of being high value, is that incongurence slips in. lol no it isn’t. there is OBJECTIVE high value shit, and then there are just a billion little SUBJECTIVE things that vary from chick to chick. a young professional will AUTOMATICALLY get like….let’s say +50 for most chicks, but let’s say a particular chick is into the rocker scene. well for her a rocker dude gets like +85. so the young professional has the wider spread for chicks and being attractive, but at the same time, it’s more general. this is… Read more »
“Does anyone here really believe that you have to put your kids first in order to be a good father?” Second surest way to fuck up your kids that I know of. Call it benevolent abuse. Kids need to know that they are cared for, but they also need to be raised to understand that the world is by and for the grown ups. They will get their own when they grow up. When this was the standard model, kids strove to learn and mature. A father’s job is to aid and direct that striving (and he is better than… Read more »
@Scray
“if i roll into a bar and start carousing and laughing and having fun with the people there, women WILL TAKE NOTICE…and they will FIND A WAY TO GET NEAR ME just LIKE they would if they thought I were MM good-looking or whatever.”
You got it wrong dude, it’s because they saw you playing volleyball outside
IAS
Or you can use my exact situation to point out you can do what you want with legal marriage.
See?
Do what you want to do. Don’t operate based on fear. Men lead women follow.
That is the issue. Who are you?
@Klem
oh word?
@IAS “I am very surprised at some of the comments at play here, from guys with massive Frame and Red Pill experience from which I have learnt a lot.’ I see the problem that is arising is partly, the OMG’s are knowledgeable from experience that raising children is hard. Part of the problem is that others want hacks to get around the hardness. It is perfectly acceptable to not have children. If you want to have children you have to compromise your self to some degree without compromising your core or your purpose. And that compromise extends to your relationship… Read more »
lol….
“Look at Petraeus. Broadwell had everything to lose but she went bunny boiler . . .”
That is the failure mode of the model. All models have failure modes. That doesn’t mean that the model is not the idealized case.
“Guilt? Guilt he says… So you need some third party’s permission or absolution for YOUR choices and actions?” @Sentient Guilt trips and shaming from people I used to look up to is different. Or at least it did up until now. That’s okay. Moving on. “Do what you want to do. Don’t operate based on fear.” Soooo, why exactly are you spreading fear? @IAS I’m beginning to think that beta male shaming is a hard wired thing that these guys just haven’t yet brought into their conscious brain. All this talk about “average” guys can’t do that. This shitty logic… Read more »
http://www.tmz.com/videos/0_lzz9vbcb
I’m beginning to think that seeing male shaming in this discourse is ridiculous. Feeellliiinnggss…nothing more than feeeelllliiiinnngggsss….. What you need to do is UNDERSTA…you know what, some of you dudes just refuse to see any other side of anything that does not line up with..whatever the fuck it is that you’re talking about. Fear. ” Ohh, I’m not afraid. Stop shaming me!!!”. Advice that I’ve given you, that made sense at the time, doesn’t make sense now…why exactly? ( trick question. I already know why. I’ve been reading along the whole time..) ” My relationship is fine. Fine won’t cut… Read more »
@scary
If you revolve around her schedule, you are the guy carrying your girlfriend’s purse at the shopping mall. Low value guys ask when she’s free since their schedule has nothing more important than her.
SW…before Murphy there was….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pmBC_CrQS4
🙂
@ kfg I really don’t get where a lot of this understanding about ” being a father/parent ” comes from. The only conclusion I can logically reach is that many men have the FI version of fatherhood and parenting tattooed on their brains. IME, No one comes before the man. Everything proceeds FROM the man. This goes for gf’s/wives to kids. Put wives/gf’s or kids BEFORE yourself, and you are an FI paved road to ruin. ” but Blaximus, this is hard. Who wants to go through any of that stuff? ” Agreed. No one has to. That is a… Read more »
@sentient @yareally @scray @othergrain @pua “You are precluding even the possibility of simply going out and getting a bunch of new ones.” Did I not say I was STILL going out to the mall. Lol, you can walk and chew gum at the same time. This is what I mean when I say you aren’t really the best at teaching. no hate here. but you have to have the ability to think the way other people do, understand their situation, and take that in consideration when giving advice. You have to be able to calibrate it to their situation and… Read more »
@YaReally Sentient Blaximus and the marriage gang Still have 100 plus comments to go to fully catch up just on this thread (and I haven’t even started on the latest post) – how do you guys go so fast?? But I wanted to write this before this thread got stale on the assumption nothing radically new has been said in the last 100 comments lol. I’m not going to go through all the arguments again – I want to try and understand something deeper. First I gotta say guys – and I say this with the best will in the… Read more »
@ You’re basically suggesting that choosing monogamy in and of itself is beta and it’s always alpha to have your options outside because you have sexual desires and can have your cake and eat it too yes I am. beta – supplication. most people have NO REASON FOR DOING MONOGAMY BEYOND ‘DUUUUR CAUSE YOU SHOULD’ ‘DUURRRR THE MYSTICAL MAJESTICAL HONOR OF DOING HARD STUFF’ it’s no different than betas talking about being nice to women ‘DUUUR THE MYSTICAL POWER OF DELICATE WOMYN!’ there IS NO GODDAMNED CAKE. MONOGAMY = NET NEGATIVE. NO POSITIVE. that is what you DON’T GET. But… Read more »
@ Culum Jesus. Where the hell have you been for 8 or 9 pages? And for the record, I don’t do beta speak. #whateverthefuck. ” I’m not going to go through all the arguments again – I want to try and understand something deeper. First I gotta say guys – and I say this with the best will in the world cos I love you guys and the community here – YaReally has won this argument. His logic is impeccable and he has rationally responded to every point made to him. Now that said I am trying to hone in… Read more »
@blax @culum main thing I see in things like this is that the older guys grew up in an era that was completely different from what has arose more recently. Its almost as if they grew up in a different country, with a different language and customs than our own. So when it comes the very personal issues like this on marriage (which older guys value a lot) its like having a Chinaman and an Englishman trying to discuss quantum physics. . .with neither understanding the other’s language. I personally think it would take a LONG ASS TIME to bridge… Read more »
@ hank holiday I agree. Nice perspective. I would be willing to even concede that my idea concerning marriage are old and outdated, IF it could be actually field tested ( I see you Yareally )by guys doing the things I think make marriage viable. Not just jumping in blindly and hoping for the best. Not thinking marriage in itself is an answer to any issues they may be having. Not thinking marriage will somehow just magically sort itself out. And especially NEVER looking to the woman to help you understand, or guide the marriage. You only ever get the… Read more »
@Culum Struan “First I gotta say guys – and I say this with the best will in the world cos I love you guys and the community here – YaReally has won this argument. His logic is impeccable and he has rationally responded to every point made to him. ” <3 Logic over feels. @Blaximus "I would be willing to even concede that my idea concerning marriage are old and outdated, IF it could be actually field tested ( I see you Yareally )by guys doing the things I think make marriage viable." Same question since page 2: For what… Read more »
I was in a 43 year marriage. I was true blue beta through and through. Tried to keep wife happy, but there was no pleasing the woman. We both did a Sterling weekend in the 90s to gain some insights. It helped for a while. But eventually her true colors came out and she blew up the marriage. She wasn’t happy. So she’s having her Eat Pray Love experience. From it all, I’ve come to believe there’s no pleasing some people. They will be as unhappy as they choose to be. So I started dating. The dating experience has hugely… Read more »
John
The difference between Wife 1 and Girl X now is because of the difference in YOU. Said another way how do you think you would act if you only met Wife 1 now, now that you have the wisdom and experience?
You are now a different kind of lion tamer and will get different results…
The legal non feeelz based contract is not relevant to this phenomenon.
Good luck.
@Andy i’m still skimming, trying to catch up, but i get sucked into actually reading the comments…go figure…lol…and i don’t really have that much time…but i saw your comment on being guilty… so, i;m making some time to address this… first, don’t feel guilty for trying to work through your situ… that’s the FI pushing on you… but also don’t let the anger/frustration in the ‘sphere’ push you the other way… my recommendation is ALWAYS to do your best to actually SEE what’s in front of you…lol… good, bad, ugly, hot… reality ‘is’… just see it… then given your goal,… Read more »
@habd
Thanks. I don’t feel guilty anymore. I guess they actually helped in a sense. The whole thing just made me realize that I’d rather lose it all that not try for everything. My fucks given quotient has shrunk to zero. I have a plan, and am executing on it. Not haphazardly or anything, but… truly, I am literally incapable of giving a fuck about anyone other than myself at this moment.
@HABD – thank you that last mega post was fascinating. Ten pages in and still some really new insights which make perfect sense to me – agree 100%.
Bit busy now but will come back later today for some final thoughts on this thread – then I need to move to the next thread.
Andy
” The whole thing just made me realize that I’d rather lose it all that not try for everything”
Nice.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FE_2VEWvEH8
All in. You watched The Gambler yet?
kfg Depends on how many 1st Marines we’ve got left after the poor bastards who were frozen into their mummy bags because it’s 30 frickin’ below out and the zippers are made out of metal got slaughtered. Yeah. Met an old man on a deer hunt once. He was a Korean War vet. In conversation one night he mentioned that even decades later, he never zipped his sleeping bag shut, just couldn’t do it, and told us why. He’s probably not around to teach that lesson to younger men anymore. Sure, there were men in Korea who did zip up… Read more »
@ HABD Thank you. Stellar as usual. ” Talking past each other” – as AR post another errant ” Man Up ‘ meme. I’m not going to keep belaboring ( the hopelessly lost ) point about my ghetto references, but I was trying to illustrate that we already have the model that some guys here were trying to figure out how to achieve. But my observations were treated as ” The Ghetto “, when the meat of the thing was not understood at all. I am convinced that I must need writing classes. The situation in the ghettos STARTED almost… Read more »
” Destroying social structures sometimes have unintended consequences that can’t always be foreseen.”
… I forgot to add ” ask the FI “.
“… I forgot to add ” ask the FI “.
Yes.
“I am literally incapable of giving a fuck about anyone other than myself at this moment.”
…was pretty much the plot of the movie Bad Moms.
Bye.
Blax
“It devolved over generations. What is there now was NEVER the original intent.”
Yes it was.
Nihilism= the failure mode of the model “self improvement”.
Anonymous Reader
” “Eh, just zip up your sleeping bag, I did and nothing bad ever happend to me, besides, if danger happens you’ll Man Up! to meet it”.”
So KFG’s example of having his knife on him merits no comment from you? Do you think THAT lesson has been imparted?
Sentient Wassup brother… What I mean is, when the state fucked everything up initially, the men trying to find the workaround did not ever intend for things to end up like they are now. These men thought they were finding ways to beat the system, when the answer actually was not to be involved in the system in the first place. When they just accepted the dictate of The State, and then decided to try to get around it after the fact, things slowly went to hell because each generation that followed had no idea of the original intent. They… Read more »
Blaximus The situation in the ghettos STARTED almost exactly like what Ya is outlining. The state made marriage untenable by outright STATING a man CANNOT be in the HOME with his own children if benefits were being received. The men then found workarounds, and the biggest was ” don’t ever marry in the first place “. Then the state made it worse by applying Affirmative Action largely to women, so that black women were more employable than black men, with the state as their backup “daddy”. I’ve seen this in person. The same dynamic is playing out today in the… Read more »
Blax – i here you. I have no wish to see another New Cuckistan established in the rest of the world still clinging on. Amazing that guys are advocating to be de facto cucked… have their resources spent on raising other men’s kids (resources that will be extracted at gunpoint via state if not volunteered), and other men raising their kids. If you are in the wizard class of game/status to secure a monogamous (female to male) relationship with multiple concurrent partners who bear your children. Good on ya bro. That is less than 1% of men. Meanwhile the rest… Read more »
@ AR Excuse me if I misinterpreted you before. ” The “don’t ever marry” cat is already out of the bag. Part of what’s been grimly amusing about this thread is all the earnest married men going on and on as though YaReally has influence but the larger economy, legal structure, social structure and FI is some theoretical construct. Marriage rates are already well in decline. In the Nordic countries it’s become the norm for couples to marry after the second child is born; it used to be after the first, but, well, times changed. So it’s like there’s a… Read more »
Correction: I was 2 when the march on Washington took place. Ooppsss.
And now for something completely different….
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5r5TD15vlQA&w=854&h=480%5D
what the actual fuck????
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EslJytoKaxw&w=854&h=480%5D
@blax yeah, on the one hand I sympathize with a lot of red pillers and whatnot for their disillusionment, but on the other hand, as a halfrican individual…or I guess quadroon (lol)….i’m kind of like YA…DOES IT SUCK WHEN SOCIETY SHAMES YOU FOR BULLSHIT? LIKE NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO IT’S WRONG? AND LIKE THE OTHER GROUP CAN DO NO WRONG NO MATTER WHAT? YA MAN, THAT’S ROUGH ISN’T IT? HOLY FUCK, AMIRITE? 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 what’s even funnier is that manosphere aligns with alt-right bullshit which inidcates TO ME that a lot haven’t taken any red pill,… Read more »
@ scray
What the alt-right doesn’t understand is that things aren’t really about race so much anymore. That’s sooooo 1960’s. Lol.
Meanwhile, while some men are still paying attention to the giant strawman riding a massive red herring, women and their benefactors are planning doom for ALL men or every hue.
I refuse to align the alt right with Red pill. If I’m wrong….well…shit. We’re even more fucked.
@blax
the alt-right doesn’t understand that the same bullshit that perpetuates modern feminism and FI is the same type of social conditioning that perpetuates racism and so on and so on and so on.
for some reason men can see through the bullshit ‘fem-science’ and whatever else in this instance, but when it comes to other sacred cows…oh ‘those are just the truffs!’
did you see the hateful 8?
love the last scene where the white dude and sam l jackson unite in realizing that it’s the white woman who’s the real bitch….laughed my ass off in the theater.
@ scray
Yeah, saw hateful 8.
Definite message there. thanks Tarentino!!!!
“for some reason men can see through the bullshit ‘fem-science’ and whatever else in this instance, but when it comes to other sacred cows…oh ‘those are just the truffs!”
Equalism is equalism… the alt right knows all about equalism.
11 pages and still going. A new world record!
And all done without stupid rhetorical games with bimbos and bots.
Okay final wrap up thoughts on this @HABD – Thanks again for the long post – some real insights to mull over on the in-group/social pressure thing wrt marriage among others @Blaximus – thanks, I’m trying to genuinely understand what is going on. I don’t know who is right and who is wrong, but if guys I respect are making a point that does not appear to compute I try to at least give it the benefit of the doubt and understand it. One point I’ll note is that this divide seems to be almost entirely on age lines, I’m… Read more »
“Nihilism= the failure mode of the model “self improvement”.”
The existential nihilists are correct, but so what?
The metaphysical nihilists just need a good, swift kick in the shin.
The moral nihilists are incorrect, which is kind of a big deal, because it just encourages the political nihilists to fuck shit up for everybody.
The good news is that Camus drafted a counterpoint to nihilism.
The bad news is that it’s absurd.
” . . . the answer actually was not to be involved in the system in the first place.” This is the bit that Ya Really seems to keep missing. The problem isn’t marriage. The problem is that marriage is one part of the system, and it’s the system you want relief from. Have a kid; you’re in the system. Boy howdy, are you in the system. “Smug UMC’s may want to consider that the real aristocracy does not work for a living. An income stream of 6 or 7 figures that comes from ultra skilled labor is still the… Read more »
@Culum Those are some great wrap-up thoughts. I thought the discussion was great. The scrums advanced the cause of conviction on either side. That matters–a guy cementing his thoughts. “One point I’ll note is that this divide seems to be almost entirely on age lines, I’m not sure why…” Did you consider that the younger line is trying to forge a new line of ghost riders in the sky with trepidation? Red eyed, PUA-hooved men thundering across the sky, chasing wild pussy and being berated by the spirits of damned OMG’s. OMG’s warning them that if they don’t change their… Read more »
The alt-right gets some shit wrong.
The alt-right also gets some shit right.
One of the things they get right is that there’s a ton of shit coming down the pipes, and if we don’t do something about it soon, the alt-right are going to be the reasonable sounding moderates.
And that’s something that nobody should want to see.
Culum One point I’ll note is that this divide seems to be almost entirely on age lines, I’m not sure why. It’s not marital status (Andy and IAS agree with YaReally and Andy even has kids), and it’s not even field experience with chicks really (Rollo and Blaximus and Sentient etc have lots of field experience both in the past and now although the first two are not actively seducing chicks) Age is not the common factor, happiness is… Andy and IAS are struggling. Blax, Rollo, SJF and I are not. And note no one has had a rejoinder on… Read more »
A POW lay dying in his cell, clutching a blanket. He refused to eat or drink anything, refused to respond when the other prisoners tried to give him a “pep talk”. He had simply decided to die, in a fit of depression. Well…one clear thinking inmate didn’t say, “hey, buddy, things will get better…” Instead, he said, “Hey, when you’re dead can I have your blanket?” Well, the depressed POW was so angry he decided he’d never die and give that guy the satisfaction of having his blanket. He did eventually live to get back home. True story. So…in the… Read more »
Culum
You can add (youngish?) Fleazer to the happy married list… sadly he has been away. Would have welcomed his comments on this.