Alpha Widows

As today’s Purple Pill Manosphere tries to sort out what it wants to pick and pull from ideas the Red Pill has been debating for decades now it requires a lot of deliberate misdirection of the old concepts they struggle with. This is actually nothing new. If you look at any of the exchanges I had with Aunt Giggles (Susan Walsh ret.) or various notables from the golden years of this blog you’ll recognize the pattern – Distort the premises of the concepts that conflict with your ego-investments, straw man them, then offer some redefinition of what they ‘really’ mean.

One of these maligned concepts is the phenomenon of the Alpha Widow. I’ve written extensively on this idea for well over a decade now. I’m fairly certain I even coined the term back in my SoSuave days. Back then Alpha Widow was a designation we used to describe a woman’s tendency to become fixated on an Alpha lover she had in her Party Years and still pined for him into her 30s or 40s after marriage. We didn’t just pull the idea out of our asses back then. We came to it because of the overwhelming number of married or LTR men who reported that their wife or girlfriend were pining for old lovers they thought were “the one that got away” or they left them to pursue a new relationship with an old flame.

Back then it was just a useful reference, but it quickly became such a predictable and confirmable phenomenon I thought it deserved more investigation. I mentioned Alpha Widows in The Slut Paradox but it was around this time that Roissy (Heartise) had proposed a simple maxim: 5 Minutes of Alpha Trumps 5 years of Beta. That’s when I decided to look deeper in my own short essay Five Minutes of Alpha. With a Red Pill Lens I began to see this Alpha Widow narrative played out in popular culture. Katy Perry had a song out then called The One That Got Away and it accurately described everything that goes into making an Alpha Widow.

What is an Alpha Widow?

To understand the phenomenon of the Alpha Widow we must look at women’s evolved mating strategy – Hypergamy, a woman’s intrinsic desire to balance the best quality sexual/reproductive male with the best provisioning/parentally invested male. Since a woman’s mating strategy centers on quality in a long term partner(s) women tend to focus on ideals in men. The imperative drive for mate quality extends to both sides of women’s Hypergamous equation; the best genetic, sexual experience and the best long term security potential. Only women are Hypergamous, and Hypergamy never seeks its own level – it is always seeking a better-than-merited exchange in SMV compared to her own. For more information on this concept read False Equivalencies.

When a woman misses the opportunity to consolidate on a confirmed, high SMV (sexual market value) male that man becomes the new standard for what she believes she can attract as a potential mate.

“I’ve had an SMV 8 guy before so in the future no man below an 8 will be my optimal choice.”

Even if a woman’s perception of her own SMV isn’t realistic her Id wants what it believes it can get.

The setting of a mating strategy metric in men is largely a subconscious process for women, but, more often now, high-ego women do consciously acknowledge that one man does (or doesn’t) meet the SMV benchmark of a previous lover. As women have become more comfortable in embracing Open Hypergamy, amongst their girlfriends, on social media, they will readily debate this SMV metric of past boyfriends. The Alpha Widow dynamic is no secret among women. Usually this involves women bemoaning the lack of “eligible” men in their lives when their prime SMV years are behind them. Please note that eligible implies an entitlement to a man who would be an ideal.

This qualification process is a constant for women, and it’s a complement to mens’ Burden of Performance. Women’s Hypergamous filtering process evolved from an Existential Fear of pairing with any man beneath her own (self-perceived) SMV and risking her life on a bad reproductive bet.  The worst existential prospect for a woman is to have her mating strategy superseded and controlled by that of a suboptimal man. 

The flip side to this dynamic is that, evolutionarily speaking, a woman’s subconscious cannot afford to miss out on an optimal Hypergamous pairing. If a woman’s Existential Fear is to be forced to reproduce with a lesser man, the next fear is to lose or miss out out on the opportunity to consolidate on monogamy with a high SMV man. When I talk about how a woman will make rules for Betas, but break rules for Alphas this is the root of that principle. 

As such, a man who exceeds a woman’s SMV, and creates a benchmark of her ‘personal best’ ideal male to breed with and parentally invest with, makes a significant impact on her psyche; sometimes in the long term. When a woman has had this man – one for whom she has genuine, organic desire for – but she cannot consolidate on him (i.e. lock down in monogamy), this represents a critical loss of the ideal Hypergamous/Reproductive/Life strategy option. Mentally this is what a woman will strive in some way to recreate with subsequent men in her life – a return to that ideal state.

This then is the basis of the Alpha Widow:
A mental fixation on the man who made the most significant impact upon a woman as her Hypergamous ideal.

The Fantasy Ideal

Usually this male ideal is an actual man from her past with whom she had some sort of relationship with, but not always. Sometimes the fantasy of that ideal will make a mental impression and sometimes a brief, seemingly insignificant, encounter with an ideal man may be enough to imprint on her psyche. 

Five Minutes of Alpha Trumps Five Years of Beta.

Sometimes the smallest brush with an ‘alpha’ male is enough to trigger the ‘what if?’ possibilities of consolidating on a guy like that. This might be one-night sex, the one guy in the foam cannon party on spring break in her wilder college years, or even just a missed opportunity to fully develop a hoped-for connection at a social gathering. The ‘Missed Connections’ forum on Craig’s Lists are filled with these regrets. All that matters is that the guy, knowingly or not, instilled a sense of Hypergamous urgency that she just knew represented a prospect for consolidating on that ideal.

An Alpha Widow can also be ‘widowed’ from the fantasy of her ideal male. This is fairly common among women who marry early in their Party Years. Most feel like they missed out on having made a good Hypergamous choice (or had it made for them by circumstance or social pressures). That missed opportunity leads some women to be widowed from the fantasy of an Alpha who would have been a better choice. Thus, an ideal Alpha mental model is what she pines for. An interest in romance literature is usually exaggerated in this type of widow. The formulaic stories are a form of vicarious fulfillment of an unrealized Hypergamous ideal. I should also add, this this widow, when married, is a prime demographic audience for divorce porn fantasies.

In any of these instances what’s at issue is the fact that women’s mating strategy always moves them towards a “better-than-merited” SMV exchange and a psychological fixation on the man, or the type of man who best embodies it. It’s as if a woman’s Id is imprinted with the model of the optimal Hypergamous pairing (evolution-wise a life or death proposition) and believes that only in recreating it will that male again save her life. This is the source of that unconscious pining.

Social Enabling of the Alpha Ideal

In 2019 it has never been easier for a woman to explore her reproductive options with an ever-increasing pool of potential Alphas from which to be widowed from. Since the Sexual Revolution western cultures have done little else than facilitate women’s mating strategies. In terms of “sexual liberation” the goal has always been to ensure provisioning and support – the Beta Bucks side of Hypergamy – in order to give women the impression that they have an indefinite window of time in which to find their optimal Alpha man. We see this reflected in the age of first marriages getting older and older. And in the age of social media women take for granted that they can remain sexually viable if not indefinitely, then at least as long as a man would. This facility exacerbates the Alpha Widow effect.

Women will fixate on the “one that got away”, but today we have social conventions in place to pander to that predictable insecurity in women. In fact, there are numerous industries that now thrive on exactly this.

Ladies, will you ever find your soulmate? Our Life-Coaching, our 12 step plan, our positivity training, our magic personality test will help you find him today.

I should add here that the very concept of a soulmate began with women pining for their bygone ideal man. That ‘One’ is much easier to justify cheating with, or agonizing over, if you mix in the metaphysical to aid in rationalizing it. The popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey and Eat, Pray, Love also find their root in the Alpha Widow dynamic. Popular culture tells women they are entitled to that ideal soulmate; and the only way they can remain true to themselves, the only way to live their best lives (even the life they believe God meant for them), is to pursue the ‘ONE that got away.’

The Plan B mating strategy is another social convention that forgives women of the consequences of pursuing that Alpha ideal while concurrently holding on to her next best male option. And lastly, the ongoing normalization of a female-initiated Polyandry is also a social convention predicated on allowing women to hedge their Hypergamous bets with respect to finding that Hypergamous ideal mate.


The following are a couple of the more common misconceptions critics like to presume is meant by “Alpha Widow”. For the most part these are attempts to straw man the phenomenon with no real interest in how anyone came to understanding the dynamic. 

Alpha Widows are the result of “players” who fiendishly used these poor impressionable women before they left them high & dry

Blue Pill conditioned White Knights in particular use this to build their own heroic narrative around women. Of course, not all women are victims of the Alpha they were widowed by. The first part of this misconception is the presumption that no woman would volunteer for her own widowing; the second is that an Alpha “Player” was implicit in his motives to thoroughly imprint himself upon her. The truth is that any seduction requires a willing participant (Art of Seduction, Greene) and in accordance with women’s mating strategy women will eagerly participate in their own seduction. These are Alpha Widows, not rape survivors. 

The misconception is that the woman being widowed was somehow traumatized by her former lover. The truth is that the more positive the experience was for her the more impactful the widowing is likely to be. If women didn’t think fondly of the “one that got away” she wouldn’t be an Alpha Widow in the first place. The emotional despair some women feel over that Alpha is usually the result of having missed pairing in the long term with a better prospective man than the lesser man she settled on by necessity. 

This is an easy misconception for most Blue Pill men to follow along with because often enough women will refer to their ‘asshole ex boyfriend(s)’ as the man (men) who was responsible for her being damaged. Women in their Epiphany Phase will usually incorporate into it some narrative of their having been used by the Bad Boy Jerk who came before the Nice Guy Beta they found it necessary to settle on. This damaged narrative then locks in with a woman wanting to “do things the right way this time”. Women will often use this narrative as a failsafe to excuse their hesitancy to be as sexually available to the Beta as she was with the Alpha she was widowed from. So, you get a Saving the Best situation for the Nice Guy in the relationship and he’s apt to believe her claims of being damaged by the asshole who had her before he did.

Self-righteous Beta men love this damaged by the Player narrative because it allows them constant opportunities to prove to his woman how positively different he is compared to the asshole Alpha she’s still covertly pining for.

• “Alpha Widows” are just men making shit up and thinking the worst of women because they’re bitter and burned.

Yes, it is entirely possible that despondent Incels may exaggerate the phenomenon of the Alpha Widow to rationalize their giving up on women. This still doesn’t invalidate phenomenon. This misconceptions is generally dropped by critics of the Red Pill who’d rather attack the source than have to address a concept that rattles their comfortable Blue Pill understanding of women. That said, I understand how it might be convenient to disqualify the concept based on the bitterness of the individual piecing together why his wife or girlfriend still seems to be having a relationship with her ex even if just in her head. Self-loathing Incels will then use this as an excuse to give up for the same reason they believe Hypergamy is this insurmountable obstacle to their connecting with juice they don’t want to bother squeezing for.

For the record, no, not all women turn into Alpha Widows. All women are Hypergamous, but buffers and learned self-control have historically been the checks and balances needed to protect against this Alpha Widow dynamic. The problem is that these buffers are popularly considered sexual repression of women today. Women simply wont police the worst aspects of their mating strategy and any interference, personal, political or social, that would prevent a woman from exercising her Hypergamous sexuality is viewed as misogynist, sexist repression.

Statistically women with more sexual partners have a higher incidence of divorce and find it more difficult to form healthy attachments in LTRs based on their partner count. Men do not appear to follow these stats or dynamics, why?

Because men and women have different evolved mating strategies and priorities. Men, it appears, have a much easier time compartmentalizing the sex act and separating it from the emotional aspect women apply to sex. Men’s obsession with pornography is a good illustration of this, but it is reflective of the differences in our evolved mating strategies developed in our ancestral past. Men found it necessary to breed quickly and then move out – ejaculate and evacuate.

However, in a social order where Hypergamy is unbuffered women have more access to more men and have more opportunities to be imprinted by Alpha men while in their peak fertility years than in any other era before. This abundance of reproductive opportunities, and a lack of any social stigma or moral reservations are putting women into a position where their Blue Pill husbands turn their denial into hate for the ‘Players’ who violated and ruined their ‘soulmate’ before he came into her life. They refuse to acknowledge that in most cases his girl eagerly chose to give herself to the man she told her husband was a ‘Player’ from her past.

Blue Pill married men have the hardest time accepting the idea that their wives may be Alpha Widows for a man that came before them. They struggle with the possibility their wives gave a part of themselves to a guy that they’ll never experience, so denial and anger becomes their ego’s protection.

They throw shade at the men who have the Game to seduce women (who enjoy the seduction as well) because they “ruin women for great guys like him”. Thus, they turn it into a moral issue for those men or a personality flaw because it absolves their wives of their modern mating choices.

– Illustration, Stefan Schmidtz

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

440 comments on “Alpha Widows

  1. There are no confident greater Betas. Greater beta asserts he knows some Alpha and chooses to be less than he could be. For ego integrity sake that guy must be self-sadistic and happily so.

    Alpha in their Alpha. Same for Betas.

    It’s all or nothing.

    A Beta knowing how he might be as Alpha and what he’s missing as he presently exists puts him at a crossroads.

    Remain static and die accepting he failed himself…or…become Alpha.

    Consider: knowing about the matrix while living in it and happily submitting to it’s limitations literally can not happen with a modicum of sentience.

    I know happy Betas. They are fully immersed in their Beta-fueled narrative and succeed in that world.

    I know zero happy greater Betas. They’re conflicted. These guys are easier to red pill convert.

  2. Greater Betas won’t tie women up. He’ll ooze indecision. No woman wants that guy in charge.

    Betas will, if ordered to, I guess, and then they’ll want to be tied up and be ok as she empties his wallet and steals his skateboard.

  3. “It appears that Victoria’s Secret has gone and done it; they’ve hired a trans model.”


  4. The voice always gives it away.

    Lots more than that, when you see them around actual women. Telltales abound: height, size of hands and feet, size of head, width of shoulders, prominence of wrist bone, adam’s apple (if they haven’t had it shaved), lack of hips (unless they have had implants there) and so on. It’s really not hard to tell one apart from an actual woman if you see them with actual women. It’s when they are isolated from actual women that guys can get confused. In real life that almost never happens, and trans women are not that hard to spot in most cases (yes, there are the oddball cases where you’re dealing with someone who was a guy who was 5’3″ and super-petite to begin with, and can kind of pass as a girl, but they’re not common because as we know, the number of men that small is tiny).

  5. @Nova

    Ok. Lets assume that he got his adam’s apple shaved off, got hip implants, short and is isolated from women. My point was that, as soon as you started talking to it, all those things he did to deceive people, become irrelevant, because the voice always gives it away.

  6. clearly a girl…

    Listen to the transexual talk in the clip I shared above.

    You just know when you hear it. Well at least I do.

  7. “The prevalence of suicide attempts among respondents
    to the National Transgender Discrimination Survey
    (NTDS), conducted by the National Gay and Lesbian
    Task Force and National Center for Transgender Equality,
    is 41 percent, which vastly exceeds the 4.6 percent of
    the overall U.S. population who report a lifetime suicide
    attempt, and is also higher than the 10-20 percent
    of lesbian, gay and bisexual adults who report ever
    attempting suicide”

    Don’t be fooled that trannies are bullied into killing themselves. That excuse is a poor-me cop-out and more externalization of a self-inflicted purposelessness by trannies and the mental health industry that doesn’t want to treat these queers. Self-loathing brings trannies to committing crimes against nature in the first place. More of phony embracing of sexual deviancy is the irony of the APA reclassifying once disorders into, well, orders.

    Demanding acceptance of trannies is no better than demanding countenance of alcoholism. Both celebrate disorder and that kills people apparently mostly by their own hands. Up is down.

  8. IRL

    Wow, thanks man.

    As far as the gatherings go, yeah I’m still participating when time permits, but my initial plan was to groom some younger guys to take over and keep it going. It’s grown beyond my capabilities and available time, and it seems like going forward, it will require funds.

    That’s why I watched the whole 21 convention thing with such interest, because Rollo was my inspiration to try and tackle something like this in the first place.

    We have speakers, cops, lawyers, District attorneys, mayors, judges, business people, professors – and it’s getting ever more difficult to schedule everyone. My initial plan involved connecting young men with all of these people, and that part has been working out amazingly well.

    Kinda like Rollo though, I’ve run afoul a little bit with some of the other speakers ( but we’re working through it…I think ). Just a difference of opinion, like when I asked that the young men take control of where they live, arm themselves if necessary, and protect their loved ones – or when I advocated for ” snitching ” by explaining that If a guy is selling drugs or committing larceny, it’s not ” snitching ” unless you’re in cahoots with him.

    Lol, I got reamed for that one but it blew over.

    But this is a younger man’s game and territory ultimately. Some of the young men still come to my home to talk, or for bar-b-que.

    Tenatively the next ” talk ” was scheduled for sept. but it’s starting to look more like late oct.

    We’re trying to bring some fresh blood in, and we’ve reached out to Native Michael B Jordan to speak ( as a surprise speaker to avoid movie groupies overrunning the venue ). Corey Booker has been rejected a couple of times already, lol, but it seems unavoidable as Rutgers would probably give us an auditorium gratis. I’m not a fan of Corey, and he knows it, as I meet every mayor of my city and ” get to know them “. Booker got to a point where he hated seeing me, lol. But this is how shit gets complicated when you try to ” grow “. Booker has no real message for 17-30 year old men that they can use, but he can get us stuff/venues with his name and political position.

    So, I’m really hoping Michael B Jordan comes through, lmao.

  9. Telling a transwoman from a real woman:

    Number 1 telltale sign: Hands. Always ask to look at and see her/his/its hands. Check for a 2/4 digit ratio.

    When the fingers are placed immediately next to each other and laid flat on a flat surface, the index finger on a biological male is almost always markedly shorter than the ring finger.

    Do the same with a biological woman, the index finger is either the same length as the ring finger, or index is longer than ring.

    Second telltale sign is height. Third is lack of hip flare. Fourth is width/breadth of shoulders.

  10. Ok, how could you know if your wife, fiancee or girlfriend is an alpha widow?
    Is there a set of actions related to this case or what?

  11. I think the number one come is her level of desire for you.

    If you’ve dated a bunch of women and have had desire sex, and you run into a woman that has sex with you ( as a wife or gf ) and there’s a lack of urgency or a notable building of desire, there’s probably a distraction, or she’s not mentally capable of ” bonding ” for some reason.

    That reason could be the guy she can’t forget and is.holding a level of desire for still.

    I’d guess the easiest clue would be her mentioning ” him ” along with the absence of heightening desire towards you.

    A lot of guys don’t see this because many men haven’t had desire sex. We focus on the end results ( p in v ) and not the process, so we tend to miss a lot until later ( or until she cheats or transforms into an all out harpy ).

  12. When did this become a trans blog?

    Elsewhere, “Rollo Derangement Syndrome” is spreading in full force. Just mentioning his name causes beard bros to turn into Triggly Puffs.

  13. Pat Campbell works with Rollo, but also promotes Bitch Muscles on Twitter.

    Donovan Sharpe is part of the watered down RMG, but still calls Rollo “The Godfather”.

    Sean T Smith does not agree with Rollo, but gets along with Rich Cooper and his ideas.

    Is loyalty even a thing now a days?

    I could never trust somone who is also in bed with my enemy.

    Rollo and Bitch Muscles are now on opposite ends and have these snakes in the middle pandering to both sides.

    This is very disturbing and will not end well for anybody. It is a clusterfuck.

    1. @Incubus it’s unfortunate, but some people have to be bitten by the rabid dog before they’ll choose not to pet it again.

  14. @Incubus

    I do’t think it’s a cluster-fuck. It’s a cluster of fucks.

    Back when everyone used to think they could work a shitjob for 30 years, get married and die, guys did things a certain way.

    Now people running business are trimming fat based on their biases. They have the right to do that. Their mileage will vary.

  15. ” running a business ” is very very different than it was in the past. Lots of people like ADJ littering the landscape.

    College and business schools were hijacked 30 years ago, and dumb things like loyalty and integrity were scrubbed from the curriculum.

    Corporations are people my friend.😁

  16. Incubus

    Rollo is in a precarious position… Almost.

    I say almost because in the end the truth always outs. However that does not mean money.

    Rollo’s had to go through a lot with these fuckers and now suffer the ignominy of watching his creation be ripped of by hyenas. It’s going to be a tough battle.

    (One Mystery failed at with his creation btw. And the other R’s as well…)

    Best wishes to RT.

    1. Everything I predicted in this talk has come to pass. And every person at this table has been either responsible for it, or played party to it, or pretends to be ‘neutral’ about it. But I was correct, and most scattered like roaches when the lights come on. I’m a forgiving man, but I don’t forget a slight.

  17. @Blax

    I wish more guys would hold desire sex up as a metric for success instead of “N Count.” Desire sex is the ultimate barometer, and can happen regardless of “N Count” being 1 or 100.

    Really, almost all of TRP can be boiled down to desire sex. Once a man experiences it even once, the standard is set. If desire sex starts dwindling, up the Game, up the Dread. Try to get it back with this particular woman (only if you want to), and if that fails, who cares? Let it go and find it with someone else. Anything less than 100% desire is not worth your fuckin’ time and is degrading yourself. As well as a total waste of energy.

    The attitude of “If you’re not 100% into me, you’re not worth my fuckin’ time” is so powerful. It isn’t vindictive or egocentric. It’s just a statement of fact. There are a lot of deep lessons in that kind of Mental Point of Origin.

    Ultimately it comes down to knowing your worth, knowing what you want, and knowing that settling for less is complete fucking bullshit and a waste of what little time you have left on this earth.

    Rollo’s written before about how sex is a need. I would declare further that:

    DESIRE sex is a need. Specifically. And having Desire Sex as a part of your Frame automatically puts women in your frame, as you’re the one screening them. If they aren’t up to your standards, they might as well not exist. Game is required, of course, but when you hold “Genuine Desire” as a prerequisite for anyone wanting to have continued interaction with you, you will no longer waste time squeezing without getting any juice.

    …Any more than you’d spend time looking at an empty shelf in a grocery store and wishing that what you wanted would appear on the shelf, instead of just leaving and going somewhere else to get what you want.

    Anyway, when you mentioned desire sex, and how most guys don’t know what it’s like, that was a lightbulb moment for me, big time. I don’t think desire sex is talked about enough. I hear way more about N counts and HB scales than men building a Frame where desire sex is the only kind of sex they’re interested in having.

    This attitude extends to everything else too.

    Less time worrying about achieving whatever in the outside world. More time consciously thinking of what you want to allow from the outside world into your world.

    I’ve made the mistake many times of attempting to achieve things in the outside world without any remote clue about what I was willing to accept into my world. No standards or requirements or prerequisites or anything at all. Cart before the horse. Not good. Foundations first.

    Not having desire sex on the radar is a huge problem for a lot of guys. A main problem, even. Symptomatic of every other issue a guy could have. Having it as a requirement is quite a step away from that.

    Enjoying all the comments as usual. Also, you’re my kinda guy Blax. Reminds me of my dad in a lot of ways. Different, but very similar in the work ethic and handyman stuff. The only real male role model I had once said he thought every man should know how to weld. I have yet to learn. Would certainly be handy.

    My thing is small stuff. I have no patience for big projects, but jewelry sized, fine, detailed kinda stuff, I am all over that. I suppose all our brains can just be wired differently. I’ve been brainstorming of more projects I could do. Gotta push beyond my comfort zone. Lots of skills to build, lots of fun to be had. Sometimes you just have no idea you would ever desire a particular skill until you start learning it.

  18. @Rollo:

    I have seen that episode two times to date and I am amazed at the accuracy with which you predicted how things will play out. And the snakes were plotting against you right at that table as you were speaking.

    I posted the above comment to check if you and others here are aware of the games these “neutral parties” are playing.

    I am not worried about AJAC, Bitch Muscles or George “Twink” Bruno. At least they have openly laid out their stupid and vile intention that they want a share of that luractive JBP lost Boys and Mattew Hussey love coach business market. As you rightly pointed out, Post Wall, single, middle income women have deep pockets and will shell out thousands of dollars to see someone who will make them feel good.

    Bitch Muscles and team know they cannot fight or defeat the Femenine Imperative which has manifested in every aspect of our lives with Red Pill truths. They now want to get a slice of the JBP “lost boys” market share and the Matthew Hussey “aging spinster” market share. And they think the best Pill that will work for both demographics is the Purple Pill.

    None of the speakers Bitch Muscles has lined up can take on either JBP or Mathew Hussey. Men will pay to listen to JBP becuase he has a proven track record of 25 plus years as a clinical psychologist. And women will pay thousands of dollars just to be in the presence of Mathew Hussey, he is the darkest shade of blue, yet women will give him a pass becauose of his big arms, broad shoulders, blue eyes, healthy hair, smile and charming personality.

    Blue Pill Men are not interested in paying money to listen to an aged divorced hair stylist on how to have positive outlook in life. And women are not interested in paying thousands of dollars to see Pat Stedman who looks like an incel and a school shooter.

    I agree with Palma, you have handled yourself impeccably well and your silence has done untold damage to your detractors. I will not mention Bitch Muscles or other snakes in the comments again.

    @Palma: Great analysis. It does look like the begenning of the end of commercialisation of Red Pill. That is why everyone, and their mom and their dog is running back to the plantation to be a Blue Pill Love Coach again.

  19. @TheMarquis

    I just wanted to say thank you for the ideas about activities with my son.

    I’ve found a weekend Jiu-Jitsu class near us and my son and I will be checking it out together soon with a view to joining up and training together, just like in the Warrior Kid.

    I’m thinking of making it a weekend tradition for us to do that – or some other activity – and then go for breakfast and have Man Talks.

    That’s awesome, man.

    Props for getting yourself and him into something like that. Lead by example. Make it important and make it constant in your lives, come rain or shine.

    Mind you, you’ll hear “I don’t want to go today” every now and then. Mom may chime in with “he’s only 7, let him play, you push him too hard, you’re insensitive”. He may even jump on that bandwagon (because least resistance). It’ll be a great opportunity to show him that men don’t buckle.

    From The Warrior Kid:

    I don’t worry about motivation, because motivation comes and goes. It’s just a feeling. You might feel motivated to do something, and you might not. The thing that keeps you on course and keeps you on the warrior path isn’t motivation. It is discipline. Discipline gets you out of bed. Discipline gets you onto the pull-up bar. Discipline gets you to grind it out in jiu-jitsu class. If you do those things only when you are motivated to do them, you might do them only fifty percent of the time. Sure, it’s nice when motivation is there, but you can’t count on motivation. You have to rely on the personal discipline you develop. Like you said: Discipline equals freedom. Got it?

  20. @Sentient:

    SURPRISED?? No, not at all. I have lost count of how many of Clintons’ “associates” and “friends” have committed “suicide” or died in an “accident”.

    I think Hillary can now come out and announce that she is running again.

  21. Incubus

    Yeah. Guy on “suicide watch” since 7/23 hangs himself in jail.

    OK then… Suicide watch means throwing a rope in the cage and observing?

    Well at least he didn’t shoot himself in the back of the head six times…

  22. Super shady character. I wished he’d have gone to trial, but dead is dead.

    He had thousands of pictures and cds. Seems like an open and shut case. Maybe they’ll prosecute his gf now.

    I.wonder should his headstone read ” when worshipping young girls goes wrong “.

  23. @Sentient: There are reports saying that Epstein claimed he was assauted on 7/23, yet he was put on suicide watch.

    Everybody knew this was coming. A lot of high profile people have made trips to his infamous sex paradise island.

    I guess you are right, the best way to treat a person on suicide watch is to leave rope in his jail cell.

  24. Epstein had more his fill of illegally young ones. The powers that be needed him gone, due to spillover impact on people who indulged with him, but less piggishly, so he’s gone. I don’t mourn his passing, but I also am not so naive as to see it in isolation from the web of very powerful and influential people who needed him to be gone long before he could sing.

  25. “I’m a forgiving man, but I don’t forget a slight.”

    I have a daughter who is big on spite and bitterness. She lives with trash in the yard and tall weeds around her house–she raises rats and mosquitos. (Lots of cats and barn swallows in the area.) Her awesome family went to check on her and make sure she was Ok and she ran them off despite her family being warm and friendly. She’s such an awesome success!

    Better to answer a slight with gentle mocking and let it go. Being able to forget is a blessing.

  26. What’s the Clinton murder count up to now?

    A bazillion jillion. 😆

    I have a conspiracy theory on the conspiracy theory.
    I suspect the real number is under 20, but they’ve purposely added 200+ more so those become lost in the confusion and they can easily discredit reasonable inquiries.

  27. Ever notice how difficult it is to find an old television interview where Hillary called Clinton’s accusers bimbos and such? I’ve seen it a couple of times, but it’s never up more than a half day as far as I can tell.

    Move along people.
    Okeedokee. 😆

  28. The news anchors at Clinton News Network coveted the Jeffery suicide by casually mentioning that he has died and called an “expert” to talk about the open cases. The “expert” said crimanal cases will close and civil cases will continue against his estate. And not a word was spoken about the buzarre circumstances he died under.

    Yes, it was literally “move along, nothing to see here … look there … Orange man bad”.

    Even staunch Democrats see the bias in reporting and i am sure many will walk away from the party and abstain from voting.

  29. @Rollo

    “This abundance of reproductive opportunities, and a lack of any social stigma or moral reservations are putting women into a position where their Blue Pill husbands turn their denial into hate for the ‘Players’ who violated and ruined their ‘soulmate’ before he came into her life.”

    Yeah, the ‘soulmate’ doesn’t stimulate desire like high SMV males do. But low SMV males are rationalizing their lack of attractiveness with this kind of nonsense.

    However, in a sense, alphas ‘ruin’ women. Women with N counts > 1 have a more difficult time bonding with men (because they are alpha widows and find their beta partners unattractive?) and women with high N counts tend to have more difficulty getting pregnant because of STD damage.

  30. “Yes, impactful is a word, but it’s likely to annoy at least some of your readers.”

    It is in the printed Shorter Oxford English Dictionary, 6th edition. Personally I don’t care for it, but at least it’s not as offensive as “irregardless.” I also note that about 25% of the standard English language didn’t exist before Shakespeare, Marlowe and that lot pulled it out of their lexigraphical arses so that the words could be included in the greatest works of English literature.

    By the logic I will also note that before 1755 there were no English words, but Johnson didn’t invent the English language, he reported it.

    We’re not frogs or wool scarves. We have democratic control of the language.

  31. Hmmmm. So the choice is to be a guy who creates alpha widows or to have some other guy do it. Gosh, I’ll choose being a ‘Widow Maker’. Hehehe. While you guys flail about on your keyboards, i’m out making widows. Made another new one for sure…

    Ya gotta fuck a woman out. She’ll come back wet the next time. You can see it in their eyes, they actually resent how much they want you after a while. They resent what you’ve done to them. But if my other choice is to be the beta schlubb she mercy fucks once a quarter? Or after a half a box of wine? Nah, I’d rather cut my fucking dick off than be that loser.

    1. I am the music maker and I am the dreamer of dreams.

      I’ll make my own words when none present themselves.

  32. “Why do you keep asking me that?”

    Testing you by your answer or lack thereof. You seemed like you’re aiming at entertaining people by wearing big feet and a red nose and wig.

    I’ll give the biologically correct answer to my question:

    A man’s no. 1 mission is to spread his seed…to not become a Darwin Award winner…to reproduce in such a way as to strengthen his genetic line and ensure that his offspring have the same mission…reproducing as much as is feasible…’K’ reproduction strategy…I’ve seen ‘r’ and it tends to die out…’K’ can do the same if a man isn’t on his biological mission.

    STDs threaten a man’s reproductive mission–whether in himself or in his partners.

    The #1 problem facing America biologically-speaking is that we are failing to reproduce. What are the significant factors in America’s reproduction failure and what can we do in our own personal lives to mitigate the damage to our nation?

    Take care of our bodies and be careful whom we bang and whether we use condoms. Better a girl who is genetically and reproductively healthy than a girl we need to use a condom with.
    Acquire resources to support our offspring.
    Look/screen for partners who are reproductively healthy to bear our offspring.
    Acquire skills we need to rear our offspring. This will mean having solid relationship skills because an LTR will be essential.
    Don’t abort our offspring. Duh.
    Make sure our daughters prioritize children over careers.

    The U.S. is more ‘r’ oriented than ever, yet it is a reproductive failure. Evolutionarily speaking, ‘r’ doesn’t work for humans, based on the U.S. example (or any western nation). So we men must opt for a viable ‘K’ strategy if we are to fulfill our biological mission. Beta ‘K’ strategies don’t work, but alpha ‘K’ strategies work.

    J’s PUA strategy of not having kids and acquiring and passing on STDs to partners is aiming at becoming a Darwin Award winner.

    Rollo helps ‘K’ men by providing wisdom for men to use to up their game and relationship skills–he supports on points 4 and 6 (I believe). But Rollo only addresses part of the problem. It’s an important part and sufficient for any man. This reproduction-failure elephant is too big for any man to consume by himself.

    Note that none of my argument has anything to do with morality–just with biology.

  33. @Solitary Cyclist

    I don’t see anything the quote that implies hitting the wall, it looks like a mix of typical female man-shaming combined with a religious appeal.

    Also I do not understand what this means:
    what would happen if Israel (A) came to know you right now?

    To me, Israel is a country bordered by Egypt, Jordan, Syria and Lebanon. This statement makes no sense.

  34. Isra-el; the wrestler with God, grandson of Abraham, patriarch of the Israelite nation (not country), hence also the patriarch of the Judeans and Levites.

  35. @kfg
    Already knew that…and the sentence still does not make sense, perhaps there is something missing. For sure Solitary Cyclist is better at English than I am at any other language.

  36. Novaseeker
    Telltales abound: height, size of hands and feet, size of head, width of shoulders, prominence of wrist bone, adam’s apple (if they haven’t had it shaved), lack of hips (unless they have had implants there) and so on.

    Much of that is valid, however more and more I am seeing 20-something women with hips noticeably narrower than their shoulders. Just last weekend on travel I briefly talked with a rather pretty brunette woman who had narrow hips, broad shoulders and visible biceps / triceps / traps. There could be any number of reasons for this, but some number of teens and 20’s women have a masculine physical frame. So those “tells” are not a reliable as other things such as hands / feet / voice. IMO.

    Of course, living in flyover it doesn’t really matter. The one mentally disturbed man locally who decided to wear a dress is 6’0″ and covered in ink. No way he’s fooling anyone except maybe himself.

  37. deti
    Check for a 2/4 digit ratio.
    When the fingers are placed immediately next to each other and laid flat on a flat surface, the index finger on a biological male is almost always markedly shorter than the ring finger.
    Do the same with a biological woman, the index finger is either the same length as the ring finger, or index is longer than ring.

    Except when it isn’t. Yeah, that digit ratio seems to be a fairly good proxy for exposure to T in utero, but it doesn’t necessarily track to trans. A couple of lesbians I’ve known had masculine digit ratios. A woman in my social circle who has 3 of her own children also has a masculine digit ratio & a low alto voice near the tenor range.

    The digit ratio thing is nonbinary, the distribution is continuous. I recall a pretty bright, very feminine engineering grad student who was good enough with numbers — she had a digit ratio of 1:1 – both those fingers the same length.

    Second telltale sign is height.

    The alto woman is 5’9″, she’s taller than her husband.

    Third is lack of hip flare. Fourth is width/breadth of shoulders.

    See reply to Novaseeker. 20-something women with wider shoulders / narrower hips are not common but they exist.

    Trans give themselves away in lots of different tells, but several are not 100% sure things. In my corner of flyover it’s not an issue anyway — people with that bent tend to move away.

  38. A man’s number one mission is survival.

    Followed by steady and consistent improvement from birth ( crying and shitting ).

    ” reproduction ” isn’t a mission. Most men don’t reproduce. Fuck Darwin, inconsequential.

    Anything having to do with women is never a man’s ” mission”, complementary not focal, adjust frame accordingly.

  39. So, Blax, do you think you will live forever? smh

    “Fuck Darwin, inconsequential.”

    “Fuck biology, inconsequential.”


    ” Most men don’t reproduce.”

    says who?

    you should read Ecclesiastes some time–other people have followed your line of thinking without satisfaction…

    “Anything having to do with women is never a man’s ” mission”, complementary not focal, adjust frame accordingly.”

    “Anything having to do with biology is never a man’s ” mission”, complementary not focal, adjust frame accordingly.”


    …first world thinking of the sort that leads to extinction…self-improvement is secondary to biology…self-improvement should lead a man to reproductive success…

    …when you’re old enough to be a grandfather, your thinking may change a little…things become clearer when your offspring don’t have children…and are too old to have children…

  40. @Blax

    People who don’t reproduce leave no legacy and no lovely kids to teach how to make an even larger legacy.

  41. @ palmasailor @@Disgruntledearthling

    “I, for one, am getting pretty sick and tired of this female-dominated shit on Netfucks and elsewhere”

    !!!!Spoiler Alert!!!

    Black Mirror, Striking Vipers

    Two black, male friends “we’re not homosexuals, but we like to have sex together”, addictively engage in cybersex within a virtual reality video game with the more Alpha of the two taking the submissive role as the female. Meanwhile, to appease the wife, the married guy sets up a schedule to exchange the game controller with his wife’s wedding ring, to allow his wife to go to bars and fuck Alphas in real life. The wife is portrayed as the victim. Sounds fair in a female dominated culture.

  42. It seems Disney is working on a reboot/sequel to The Rocketeer, with sex and race swapping. The Nazis no doubt to be swapped for middle American “fascists.”

    One obvious problem springs to mind: you cannot replace Jennifer Connelly, so I suppose that will be the trans role.

    Speaking of which, I note that Labyrinth was produced by Lucasfilm, which Disney now owns. You sure as shit can’t replace David Bowie (not to mention Terry Jones and Jim Henson) as well, so I suppose it’s inevitable.

  43. I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
    litanie contre la peur

  44. “While I work with middle and increasingly upper middle-vibration men, Rollo works with low-vibration ones.”

    I was vibrating at such a high level I had to read TRM to get my feet back on the ground and my head out of the clouds.

  45. If you don’t survive, you don’t have a shot at reproducing.

    Most men don’t reproduce. Why is that?

    Does this mean that they have failed?

    Survival is more than breathing.

  46. kfg
    It seems Disney is working on a reboot/sequel to .The Rocketeer, everything.

    Di$ney gets full copyright to their reboots / reworks / sequels / mutilations. That copyright extends to everything downstream from the movie.

    Listen to the great, wise, Yoghurt…

  47. theasdgamer – Blaximus is correct on this one – I would just take his position that is set on the negative space and move it to the positive space by saying that a man’s number 1 mission is not to survive but to THRIVE – once the thriving is manifested in his life then he procreates, in fact I would argue that evolution wants to procreate the best seed. In fact I think the mindset being discussed is that of beta versus alpha. Anyways a beta based mindset is fine, no hate, but a man’s first goal is to thrive then the rest becomes.

  48. “Porfirio Rubirosa was a Dominican diplomat, race car driver, soldier and polo player. He was an adherent of the dictator Rafael Trujillo, and was also rumored to be a political assassin under his regime. Rubirosa made his mark as an international playboy for his jetsetting lifestyle and his legendary sexual prowess with women. Among his spouses were two of the richest women in the world. […] married five times, but never had any children”.

    Lmaooooo what a total dead-end chode

  49. @blax

    Can you elaborate on your statement “most men don’t reproduce.” Based on my experience, most men in my grandparent’s, my parent’s and my generation have married and had kids, with only the extremely oddball ones getting left behind.

  50. “Di$ney gets full copyright to their reboots / reworks / sequels / mutilations.”

    Purchased properties may not give them all the strings, but the current wave of creative bankruptcy at Disney began with their own properties, and the original The Rocketeer is likewise a Disney production.

    This isn’t simply a rights acquisition project, it’s a Disney Ministry of Truth project. Building a new Disney that has always been the original Disney.

  51. Keeping Clown World clowney…

    Remember these guys getting sued by these gals?

    Well now they are getting sued by some “guys”

    “Jones Day doesn’t just allegedly discriminate against women, according to a new gender bias lawsuit filed against the firm this week. A married couple who worked as associates in the firm’s prestigious issues and appeals practice after clerking on the U.S. Supreme Court say the firm’s parental leave policy is unfair to men.”

  52. kfg

    This isn’t simply a rights acquisition project, it’s a Disney Ministry of Truth project.

    I was thinking more of $tar War$ than the Rocketeer, but it doesn’t make much diff.
    Because Di$ney is now “All your legend are belong to us”. For reasons.

  53. Sigma

    “Can you elaborate on your statement “most men don’t reproduce.” Based on my experience, most men in my grandparent’s, my parent’s and my generation have married and had kids, with only the extremely oddball ones getting left behind.”

    For what it’s worth, today not having kids isn’t considered ” oddball ” at all.

    And if the trend continues, it will only get worse.


    When you say my Gen-gen-gen-gen-generation ( sorry had to do it ), how old are you ( if you don’t mind )?

    The pic Sentient posted of Eddie Murphy with his team, Eddie and I are the same age.

    Maybe I should’ve stated the Most Men currently, or in the last few generations don’t reproduce. Also, I’m talking about ” western ” society, specifically about the U.S.. Birthrates have been on the decline fairly steadily over the past 50+ years, and from what I can see it’s gotten worse in just the last 20-25 years.

    In my great grandparents time, I’d surmise the average size in my family was 8-12 kids per married couple.

    In my grandparents time, the slacking started, lol. the number slipped to around 5-9/10.

    In my parents time, not many had more than 4-5.

    But having children was looked upon differently then.

    The first lasting blow was dealt by feminism. It’s destructive to the family structure.

    The second blow was economic. Over the last 20 years it’s become harder and harder for the average man to have and raise a family economically. So the pool gets smaller.

    The third blow is the path that society has taken, and the negative effects it’s had on men in general, younger men specifically. ” Adulthood ” keeps getting delayed further and further out. Masculinity has been targeted for dismantling. Youngsters are generally too self absorbed and trapped in fake, fantasy world(s) to further their genes meaningfully.

    Which brings me to what I see today broadly.

    Most males don’t reproduce. In the future, a majority will not in the west. Even ” immigrants ” stop in great numbers after 1st-2nd generation native born. ” westernization ” includes ” responsible parenting “, re: waiting until you’re 40 to try and have kids.

    Every day ( outside of my immediate and closest social circle ), I see more ” non-fathers ” than fathers. In my dept at work, where there are 125 men, there are 30 ” dads “, and let’s say the average age falls around 35-40. And it’s a pretty good sampling of all kinds of backgrounds with one singular thing in common.

    So my response was to asd’s silly claim that reproduction is a man’s number 1 mission, or whatever he said. If it was ” biological “, then what the fuck is happening?

    And none of tis takes into account the falling testosterone of men in general, which is a whole other thing that also helps explain why ” biology ” may have been sabotaged and obliterated.

  54. “Porfirio Rubirosa was a Dominican diplomat, race car driver, soldier and polo player. He was an adherent of the dictator Rafael Trujillo, and was also rumored to be a political assassin under his regime. Rubirosa made his mark as an international playboy for his jetsetting lifestyle and his legendary sexual prowess with women. Among his spouses were two of the richest women in the world. […] married five times, but never had any children”.

    Never heard of this guy until you mentioned him here.


    That only holds sway with a miniscule portion of the population.

    I like this guy

    because he’s alive right now.

    Guys don’t need to have offspring/children, but it’s not a bad idea if one is into ” legacy ” and ” being remembered ” over generations ( if you put in a decent effort ). Bilzerian is Bilzerian because of his Dad. He wasn’t created in a lab. Well…..steroids, hgh, and god knows what else aside .

    But most of the m en I know don’t know who Bilzerian is. 90% of men I know that are from the DR don’t know ( or care ) who Porfino is.

    His ” legacy ” is a memory. That memory is going to fade faster than it would if he had descendants. He’s already an obscurity.

    Among his spouses were two of the richest women in the world. […] married five times, but never had any children

    Let this sentence sink in for a moment.


    Rafael Leónidas Trujillo Molina (/truːˈhiːjoʊ/ troo-HEE-yoh, Spanish: [rafaˈel leˈoniðas tɾuˈxiʝo]; 24 October 1891 – 30 May 1961), nicknamed El Jefe (Spanish: [el ˈxefe], “The Chief” or “The Boss”), was a Dominican politician, soldier, and dictator, who ruled the Dominican Republic from February 1930 until his assassination in May 1961.[2] He served as president from 1930 to 1938 and again from 1942 to 1952, ruling for the rest of the time as an unelected military strongman under figurehead presidents.[Note 1] His 31 years in power, to Dominicans known as the Trujillo Era (Spanish: El Trujillato), are considered one of the bloodiest eras ever in the Americas, as well as a time of a personality cult, when monuments to Trujillo were in abundance. Trujillo and his regime were responsible for many deaths, including between 20,000 and 30,000 Haitians in the infamous Parsley massacre.[3][Note 2][Note 3]

    During this long period of oppression and death, the Trujillo government extended its policy of state terrorism beyond national borders. Notorious examples of Trujillo’s reach abroad are the unsuccessful assassination attempt in Caracas against Venezuelan President Rómulo Betancourt (1960), the abduction and subsequent disappearance in New York City of the Spaniard Jesús Galíndez (1956), the murder of writer José Almoina in Mexico, also a Spaniard, and crimes committed against Cubans, Costa Ricans, Nicaraguans, Puerto Ricans, as well as United States citizens.[6]

    The Trujillo era unfolded in a Hispanic Caribbean environment that was particularly fertile for dictatorial regimes.[Note 4] In the countries of the Caribbean Basin alone, his dictatorship was concurrent, in whole or in part, with those in Cuba, Nicaragua, Guatemala, El Salvador, Honduras, Venezuela, and Haiti. In retrospect, the Trujillo dictatorship has been characterized as more prominent and more brutal than those that rose and fell around it.[8]

    The sheer longevity of Trujillo’s rule makes a detached evaluation difficult. His 31-year tenure brought the country a great deal of stability and prosperity, more than many living Dominicans had previously known. The price, however, was high—civil liberties were non-existent and human rights violations were routine…..

    and blah blah blah.

    7 children.


  56. a few things:

    Novaseeker, I was looking for a review of The Anatomy of Female Power and stumbled upon your old blog. Do you still post your own stuff someplace? And what do you think of the past decade since you wrote that review? Seems on point to me.

    A question for All: is unplugging so difficult for so many men because they never fully left their own mothers? And does a mother’s love for their sons trick men into thinking that this same love is on offer with the “right girl?”

    Just some thoughts. Thanks for the site, the insights, and the support.

  57. Just Beers

    ” mother’s love for their sons ”

    What is this thing you speak off? My observations – this love extends as far as it reflects back positively on the mother. Look at Jesus mother for example.

  58. “A man’s no. 1 mission is to spread his seed…to not become a Darwin Award winner…to reproduce in such a way as to strengthen his genetic line and ensure that his offspring have the same mission…reproducing as much as is feasible…”

    Beta male provider game who became red pill aware later in life and is trying to rebrand himself as “alpha provider” because of his own ego investment. Keep reassuring yourself that you’re saving western civilization, bro. Dont get your feelings butt hurt if other men dont validate your life decisions.

  59. Having kids mostly doesn’t have anything to do with a ” genetic line ” the way many guys like to think that it does.

    It sounds noble though.

    just extending a pile of dna/genes is fairly meaningless. what will your offspring do? What can you give them ( besides money if available )?.

  60. @just beers

    I think what sucks the most for guys trying to unplug is basically that to some order of degrees they find out how powerless they are. Then they feel daunted by what they realize they have to do to fix that. So rather than try to fix that, they cling to some vestige of the false reassurance that was given to them by parents, well-meaning or otherwise, who were likely just as horrified at what modern life has become as they were of what society(Those other fuckers) now expects(hopes) them to tolerate. Except the women. They knew all along to trivialize and gaslight their boys was the entertaining option, but resented the possibility that they might be responsible for engineering the worthlessness of their own children.

    And nobody is allowed to talk about it or else they end up admitting that they aren’t in control of their own lives. That is, they aren’t equipped to deal with being born to cowardly people. That’s probably the worst part. Soon as a queef realizes he’s up against a real fight he finds he’s wanting the contingencies and maneuvering that a more informed version of himself might have made. Never mind if they would have never made such choices at the time because they were too entitled and lazy, or too cowed by their own cowardly families.

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