The following was a timely question by SoSuave member “OnTheWayUp”;
Just wanted to find out: who do you talk to about aspects of game with off this site? I’m talking here about “game” in the broadest sense of the term, so pick-up, but also self-esteem, how to keep a relationship healthy, the roles of men and women in society etc.
My experience with voicing the views advocated on here in public has nearly always been negative. I have 3 – 4 good male friends who are interested in pick-up (one has read the Mystery Method, for example), and they love it. But these friends are the exception rather than the rule. My parents (beta dad, controlling mum) think my attitude towards women is sexist and my opinion of ONSs “disgusting.” Just about everybody I know subscribes to the Disney/ soulmate view of relationships, and some of my contemporaries (I’m 21) are even starting to settle down and get married. God help them. Talking to girls in bed about what they find attractive in a man is interesting, if only to see the extent to which they delude themselves, but ultimately counter-productive, since a woman (tacitly) expects a man to know how to express his sexuality.
Can we as men ever talk about these things in public? What are your experiences?
Before I begin, let me say that I think it’s encouraging to see such an insightful question posed by so young a Man.
Every random chump within earshot of your conversation about Game, about your ‘changed’ way of seeing inter-gender relations, about your most objective critical observations of how women ‘are’, etc. – understand, that chump waits everyday for an opportunity to “correct” you in as public a way as he’s able to muster. That AFC who’s been fed on a steady diet of noble intent, with ambitions of endearing a woman’s intimacy through his unique form of chivalry; that guy, he’s aching for an opportunity to prove his quality by publicly redressing a “villain” like you for your chauvinism. Even under the conditions of relative anonymity (like the internet), he’ll still cling to that want of proving his uniqueness just on the off chance that a woman might read his rebuff and be fatefully attracted to him.
This is the bread and butter of the White Knight beta. It’s best to assume that most guys who pick up on just your Game vibe, to say nothing of overtly talking about it, are going to side with the feminine imperative by default. For practitioners of Beta Game (which is to say the better part of 90% of guys) this is an organic opportunity to identify with women and engage in the same shaming conventions women use without the fear of having it seem contrived.
Now this is the mechanics of it, but the rabbit hole goes deeper than that. For the Beta Game that our noble white knight is so invested in to work, he depends on an assumed system. He depends upon reaffirming his assumed understanding of how to best achieve a woman’s intimacy (sex). He must reaffirm that presumption BY defending it and looking for opportunities to show he adheres to the feminine imperative (or the version of the imperative he’s been taught to believe). His Game, his ego-invested identity IS literally dependent upon that system. So not only is he defending his Game and his ego, be he’s also defending the social architecture that makes his Beta Game even possible.
You see, when an AFC clings to the mental schemas that make up an AFC mindset it requires a constant need for affirmation and reinforcement, particularly in light of a glaring lack of verifiable success with women while clinging to, and behaving in accordance with the mindset. AFCs are like crabs in a barrel – once one gets to the top to climb out another drags him back in. The AFC needs other AFCs to affirm his blatantly obvious lack of success. He needs other AFCs to tell him, “don’t worry just be yourself” or “she’s just not a quality woman because she can’t see how great a guy you are.”
So when an AFC finally does get a second date and then finally does get laid it becomes the ultimate validation for his mindset. “See, you just have to be a patient nice guy and the right ONE really does come along.” This is when the self-righteous phase begins and he can begin telling his PUA friends that Beta Game does work, and he’s “getting some” now without all the Positive Masculinity claptrap. In actuality he rationalizes away all of the conditions that lead up to him getting the girlfriend and the fundamental flaw that he’s settling for a woman “who’d fuck him”, but this doesn’t stop him from claiming a moral high ground. His long wait is over and he’s finally hit White Knight pay-dirt.
Who cares what other guys think?
Are people really concerned with how other guys are doing, or are they just feeding their ego so they can be seen as smart and right about something?
Thanks for the reply, Rollo, and I appreciate the compliment. Love the blog generally: I’ve been into pick-up for about a year and a half now and still think this and SS are the best resources online. To Y: I care. I care that so many of my otherwise successful friends, friends who have a very good degree, are sporty and otherwise socially able, so many of these friends delude themselves time and time again when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex. I care that my best friend is considering following his gf to Japan, when he knows… Read more »
Good attitude and keep that frame. I’m much older than you but I can say with complete honesty that, had someone (friend or acquaintance) even pointed out alt.seduction.fast in 1996, my life would’ve taken a much better direction.
I’d be a fool and a liar to say you won’t meet far more resistance than acceptance.
But I firmly believe you will soon have at least one friend/acquaintance that will feel indebted to you for having improved their lives immensely.
Rollo, love the site brother. I’ve been engaged in Game for six years now (I’m 28), and the benefits of this knowledge are astounding. If you get a chance, read this link a close female friend of mine sent me:
Yeah, I know. Embarrassing. This is a perfect example of the Governor’s husband emasculating himself, and letting the wife run the relationship.
I’ve been in this scene for quite a long time and I tell you the best way to unplug other people is to live as an example.
I have younger family members who are now what you would call naturals. I never mentioned game or wierd acronyms… I never lectured them. I just spoke from experience and they could see how I lived was working.
If you get your own house in order others will naturally follow your lead… if you have to convince others then you’re not really living it yourself.
“The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know”
People fear change and the unknown. Taking the Red Pill represents a leap into the unknown and many guys – following a feminine, risk averse life strategy – will simply be unable to take the risk.
Worse, emotional pornography ravenously consumed by women reinforces the whole White Knight, Prince Charming narrative of “romance” and this social expectation has been imbibed by two generations of men. It’s blue pill kool-aid for chumps.
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