When men can be convinced to participate in women’s social conventions half their work is done for them.
One of the surest indicators of an AFC-beta mindset is the automatic presumption that anything remotely critical a man would say about women, or the feminine, is by default, equated with misogyny. All a man need do is open his mouth, in the most objective way he can muster, about anything critical of the feminine and he’s instantly suspect of sour grapes. He must’ve been burned, or is bitter and on the verge of desperation just for even a passing mention of some critical observation of women’s incongruent behaviors.
What an amazingly potent social convention that is – when a man will censor himself because of it on his own. The most successful social conventions are ones in which the subject willingly sublimates his own interests, discourages questioning it, and predisposes that person to encourage others to participate in it.
“You’re just bitter because you got burned by some bitch in the past and your misogynist ideology is just your way of lashing out.”
I hear this a lot from both men and women. It’s an easy response to parrot and it’s very useful. It foists the responsibility of confronting one’s critical ideas back on the man, all while shaming him for forming an ideology based on what he (and now a community of many other men) confirms by observations. It’s like a JBY (just be yourself) response; it sounds right, everyone uses it to the point of cliché, and it misdirects and discourages any further critical analysis.
This is a feminine social convention that’s in the same vein as shame. Any guy that has a point about the feminine, no matter how valid, can always have his argument poisoned because he’s a guy, and most guys are frustrated that they aren’t getting laid, and this is his petty way of venting. When men can be convinced to participate in women’s social conventions half their work is done for them. In presuming a default state of male misogyny, it implicitly denotes a default state of ‘correctness’ or blamelessness of the female. In other words, you’re guilty and must prove innocence.
The protector dynamic has evolved into a beta breeding methodology. It’s like a Darwinistic version of Cap’n Save A Ho – so at the slightest critical word about a woman it’s, “See how quickly I come to a woman’s defense? What girl wouldn’t want a great protector like me? I’m unique. I’m not like those bitter ‘other guys’ so your best emotional/sexual/parental investment would be coupling with me as evidenced by my example.” Of course that isn’t their conscious, cognitively recognized reaction, but it is the subroutine that’s running in their unconscious. When this psychological schema is a practiced breeding methodology it becomes second nature; so much so that when ANY opportunity arises to display it (even under the conditions of anonymity), the guy snaps to attention. It’s really a Beta attempt to DHV (display higher value), and in and of itself it’s not necessarily a bad impulse,it just that it’s used to further a feminized social convention.
Whiners and Losers.
“Game Blogs, PUAs, MRA guys, they’re all a bunch of whiners who’d rather kvetch about feminism and real or imagined wrongs than just get up and get along.”
There is no going back.
NEO: “There’s no going back now is there?
MORPHEUS: “No. But if you could, would you really want to?”
One dynamic I encounter from guys who’ve experienced the ‘community’ in varying degrees is a desire to go back to their previously comfortable, ignorant bliss. The reality they become exposed to is too much to bear and they spit the red pill back up. They want to plug themselves back into the Matrix.
No person both frightens and disgusts me more than one who understands truth, but willfully opts for denial. It’s not the desire to do so that disgusts me, I understand the desire, it’s that there is no going back. Even if you never read another post or blog and regressed back to your old ways, you’ll still make the associations, see the signs of what others have analyzed in your own periphery, in women’s and the world’s behaviors and motivations, and you’ll be reminded (even if subconsciously) of that truth, or at least the uncomfortable push to get at the truth. You will only get what you’ve gotten if you keep doing what you’ve done.There is no going back now. Don’t wish it were easier. Wish you were better.
There comes a point of conflict (or revulsion if you want) after a guy has been unplugged from the Matrix long enough where he begins to doubt himself and what he’s seeing go on around him. All of the gender dynamics and the complex, but discreet, interplay between the sexes that’s been such a mystery for so long starts to become apparent to him. The Neg Hits he never would’ve dreamed of attempting in his AFC days become so predictably reliable at sparking interest that it becomes depressing. A backhanded compliment shouldn’t work; it goes against everything any girl has ever told him will endear him to a woman, but once he musters up the courage to experiment, he finds that they do.
What’s depressing isn’t that a well delivered neg, or C&F, or harnessing the attractive Alpha Asshole energy could actually generate sexual interest in women, it’s the principle behind them – the reason why they work – that prompts the internal conflict. Are women, generally, more like this than not? So a guy experiments a little more, and tests other theories, and discovers that with some minor variations, yes, for the most part the principles are valid if not predictable. This then becomes a real tough pill to swallow, especially when you consider ideas like the ruthlessness of feminine hypergamy. It’s very despairing, almost nihilistic, to a man fed on a steady diet of the flowery tropes of feminization for the better part of a lifetime. It’s very hard to measure oneself up and adjust to a new understanding of how women operate. He can’t reconcile what he’d been told and conditioned to believe before (the soul mate myth, pedestalize her, just be yourself, etc.) with this new paradigm. So either he learns to live with this new understanding, benefit from it and grow into a new role for himself, or he rejects it and vilifies it wholesale.
“Women are really not as bad as these misogynists, these bitter, burned men would all have us believe. They’re shallow and soulless to think women are all out to get them. They over-analyze everything when they should all just be themselves and let fate or some divine force pair them up with their soul mates. I pity them, really I do.”
I’ve heard all of these regressive rationales from boys as young as 14 to men as old as 75. It’s a comfortable ignorance to believe that things are just unknowable and beyond one’s control or efforts to really understand. And to make matters worse, there’s a long established system of social conventions ready to reinforce and affirm these rationales; ready to reinsert him back into the Matrix and tell him he’s unique and special (“not like other guys”) and will be rewarded with female intimacy for rejecting it.
Yeah, except they wont be rewarded but exploited.
The problem is compounded because there are some legitimate misogonysts who show up in the blogosphere. There is a difference between seeing the truth about women and labeling all of them malicious succubi that some dudes don’t get. Those who can’t grasp the nuanced truth about women help arm the knights with their misogynist charges.
The philosophy behind Game deconstructs 2000+ years if Civilization. When you say “Matrix”, you mean Modern Civilization. Game shows us that despite our proud of being “rational animals” we are still beasts when it comes to mating, dominance, etc. Some people’s eyes hurt! People who criticize game are defending the Matrix, i.e. Civilization. Game is good on individual level. But a society made of dominant aggressive alphas would not succeed. USA is the greatest nation because of the super-betaness of people who built it. See “The Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism”, by Max Weber. Cooperative moral betaness is… Read more »
Dangerous minds for dangerous times.
Nice post. I think there is a lot of overlap between the respect we have for the mystery of nature today and what you have been saying. It seems to me that in the past human ability to control nature was viewed much more positively, what do you thinkl?
“No person both frightens and disgusts me more than one who understands truth, but willfully opts for denial.” Stockholm syndrome – do not be too severe. “Are women, generally, more like this than not?” What is really frightening, upsetting, amazing, you choose the description, is the real contrast between these pre wired answers and the perceived complexity of a human being. IE, women respond to these simple commands, so are they so simple? are they so shallow? there could be a difference between a woman and a programmable microwave owen? And more, what is frightening, could be really correct fall… Read more »
Here’s a question for you- when you grow up being led to believe that women are sugar and spice and everything nice just to get your balls handed to you on a chopping block when you get older, how does one reconcile the desire to be in the company of a beautiful, magical creature with the knowledge that said creatures are actually ruthless mercenaries who are incapable of love as we know it? If I harbor any misogynistic tendencies they would most certainly come from the inability to fully reconcile my desire to be in the physical proximity of that… Read more »
“How does one reconcile the desire to be in the company of a beautiful, magical creature with the knowledge that said creatures are actually ruthless mercenaries who are incapable of love as we know it?”
Fuck ‘n chuck, Good Luck Chuck.
And when that gets old?
This is why my plan is to relocate to another country where the culture has better control of women.
I can handle knowing what women truly are at their core. What I can’t handle is the idea that I will have to spend the rest of my life playing a daily game of offence and defense just to make up for the lack of control that is inherent in a feminized society.
I appreciate your idea of moving abroad. It’s what I did and it improved my life. But I imagine that you will again discover many unpalatable traits harbored by women in any country you move to. The problem with having rosy expectations is that it takes longer for the rose tinted glasses to clear up, and the process of them clearing usually involves a lot of frustration. Even hate. You may have to go through the whole process over again – just in a different country – is what I’m saying. The girls in other countries tend to eat up… Read more »
Exactly. They are not angels anywhere. You might get sex easier due to your foreigner status, but you´ll find the deal breaks somewhere else.
Thanks, Rollo, for so accurately describing the internal conflict that comes after first successfully applying game principles. Truly, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing! I think this is specifically a dangerous thing for the more sensitive man: You’ve used your new knowledge to pick up an attractive girl, because of game she treats you better than other girls have in the past, you become intimate, after intimacy you let your guard down–such a nice girl will appreciate the real you! Then the sucker punch of her suddenly distancing herself. Now you have the internal conflict of wanting to be… Read more »
My experience is that experience leads to inner re-organization. Positive feedback of successfully managing women leads to reconsider, or re-manufacture, or re-organize who you are. It’s the simple day to day positive re-enforcements of positive feedback that alter our personality such that we internalize being good managers of women.
To begin with you need to articulate attractive behaviors, but after positive feedback occurs during many interactions you internalize these behaviors and they are your new personality.
A boxing trainer of mine puts it this way:
Learning skills leads to competence.
Success with those skills leads to confidence.
I have some competence and confidence in some areas of dealing with women, that came from practice. I think I have skills in the area of LTR that are above average enough that I have a desire to help to pass some of them on. But I’m very interested in broadening out my skill set, and find it fascinating the skills others practice. And of course a great deal can be learned of the human condition and human psychology from interacting on boards that talk about dealing with girls. I have to say that the habit of flipping around all… Read more »
I agree, it is very valuable for men to consider and experiment with these mental constructs. We often see comments from the manginas that say something like “Game feels like manipulation of women”. But what they are not taking into account is that women are actively encouraged to “better their relationship” and “change their man”. The only advice men generally hear is the standard therapist parroting “share your feelings” and “compromise”. Men, in general, are behind the ball. My life has changed dramatically with thanks, in many ways, to Game and the Manoshpere. Discussing and sharing these ideas is important.… Read more »
Rollo Tomassi No person both frightens and disgusts me more than one who understands truth, but willfully opts for denial. I have seen too much of this by Spearhead posters for too long. Universally branding all females as “evil” is the John Brown-Cotton Mather school of cloistered thought. The knee-jerk girl hate reminds me of the odd dude sidling up next to me at a club, having observed my success/rapport with hot females…and suddenly the more he opens up his mouth, the more he dribbles creepjuice on the night. Such broad strokes of hatred are purely emotional – a woman’s… Read more »
@ Firepower, interesting point about emotions. It is more manly to have control over them, as opposed to making melodramatic rants against women.
But the quotation, “No person both frightens and disgusts me more than one who understands truth, but willfully opts for denial”, is addressing men who know the truth about hypergamy and choose to ignore it. You seem to be suggesting that the quote is aimed at hardcore misogynists.
I believe the title of the post, ‘Bitter Misogynists,’ is ironic.
From a woman’s perspective, I’ve wondered if the fast escalation to sex filters out a lot of emotionally competent women. I think that if you’re considering a long term relationship with a woman you gained through PUA methods, you might want to test the waters by switching into beta gear. If she runs screaming into the night, she doesn’t have the emotional maturity for a life long commitment. Nobody should have to be “on” all the time. And yes, I realize there is a contingent out there that feels that inner game encompasses all, but honestly, that’s not going to… Read more »
Being ‘on’ all the time is simply internalizing that state as your personality. In fact if you feel anxiety or some sense of pressure to “act” in a way that’s ‘off’ or ‘on’ you haven’t internalized it.
Right. ON is the default state. If you only turn it ON to handle women, you´re doing yourself a disservice.
Game is not an internal thing that you switch on every time you want to bed a woman. Game is not just sex, it’s a mindset, is the best self you can be, anytime, anywhere, whoever you’re with, it defines you’re identity as a man. What is the definition of an “emotionally competent woman”? Are they supposed to be the ones I “should” consider for a LTR? Why should I even consider starting a LTR? If there were such women, would they consider a LTR with an AFC? Should women consider putting weight on at the beginning of a relationship… Read more »
No one is saying that you should start an LRT. I think it would be naive to think that there are men in the PUA community who are not interested in an LRT. There are different reasons that a man may choose to learn these skills. I also think that there are going to be men on various points of the bell curve when it comes to alpha. There are those who who can internalize, and those who will have varying degrees of success. This is true of just about anything in life. Yes, I would suggest filtering. Should women… Read more »
I agree with most of what you’ve written, but there’s this straw-man argument that you’re either learning and using routines and buying PUA programs or you’re a wussy waiting around for fate to hand you what you want.
There are a LOT of strong, attractive, successful men who don’t know any of these routines and never set foot in the PUA community. How can that be? Perhaps the real key to success with women lies in something other than “learning game.”
These are the “Naturals”. Game is a dissection of these guys behavior. And PUA is an attempt to put that to practice.
“One of the surest indicators of an AFC-beta mindset is the automatic presumption that anything remotely critical a man would say about women, or the feminine, is by default, equated with misogyny.” I think lumping all 3.5 billion women on the planet into one group and then criticizing that group–as if all of them were exactly the same–is entirely irrational. It’s not the criticism of specific women that bothers me, it’s the criticism of “woman” that does. It’s just as lame as those Cosmo articles that tell women that “men like the chase” or “men lie about X” or “men… Read more »
Hello Mr Mangina. Nice to see you around here. Protip: Feminism is a movement of hate and female supremacy.
@Thumpy Given your blog and your own history that you have described in your blog, I’m rather surprised at your stance about misogyny. You are keenly aware that gender-based behaviors in regards to sexuality are quite predictable. This general predictability is the foundation of Game, something that you advocate. So, there are blanket statements. Of course it should be further refined from “all woman are like that” to “enough women are like that”. For Red Pill men, women are not the enemy, but quite often an adversary in the context of sexuality. There is a nuanced difference between enemy and… Read more »
I’ve heard the same BS spouted by women more than I care to think about. My response is always the same – recognizing reality isn’t a response to anything other than seeing the world as it is, rather than as others want it to be. The Feminist mind-set is, in many ways, the logical extension of the Liberal mind-set – a refutation of reality and a desire to embrace a more acceptable fantasy. Women aren’t the “adversary” that they like to see themselves as, Men practice Game (either knowingly, or as a natural) because they love women and want to… Read more »
[…] experience about how they conform more to this idealization than to the “silly caricatures of bitter misogynists” online, this triggers an internal conflict for men. Men want to believe that the exception […]
You frame my mindset accurately. I’m having trouble accepting, let alone loving, what I am realizing women are. It saddens me that women seem to respond so well to my shitty, dismissive behavior. I want to treat them with respect, loyalty and love, and get the exact same in return. Of course, I see that this is a fantasy. Though I still hope… Maybe my expectations, whatever caused them, are too high. Maybe I just saw one too many Disney flicks as a kid. Maybe, if I always knew about hypergamy and the dishonesty of society, I would be fine.… Read more »
Wow, you’re only 16, and I’m experiencing a similar thing at 23. You’re lucky to learn this stuff so young. Trust me. You’ll be a better man for it when the time comes. Don’t worry about this shit right now, I know how hard it can be, but just go out and focus on school, sports, reading, experiencing new things, get a job, expand your mind (if you know what I mean…just not too frequently), learn self-control and self-discipline so you don’t end up where I am. And while you’re young, girls will come to you if you focus on… Read more »
[…] Bitter Misogynists I outline the facility with which our fem-centric socialization will label men as […]
[…] worth in a women once her..what’s it called..sexual market value declines…it just strikes me a scarily misogynistic..like some creeped up from of American Psycho shit and it makes me scared for our […]
[…] 1. Denial – Still Plugged -In: “These game guys are a bunch of clowns, there’s no way this works on women. Women aren’t stupid. What a bunch of misogynists.” […]
[…] we could debate the social implications of women defaulting to the easy epithet of ‘misogynist’, but that’s an old post for me. You know the more I pick this apart the more I have to […]
Harkat, Anony, I hear ya both. Imagine being 30yrs old before learning these things. Being so plugged in that *every* attempt with women flamed out in spectacular fasion. I’m glad for you both that you get to read this early. Fwiw this is the blog that brought me out of Harkat’s depressive state. What is understood can be acted upon and it is still possible to enjoy the company of women after it all. 2c from a first time comment.
Harkat, Anony, John the Apostate, I hear your 16, 23, 30 and raise you to 54. You are lucky to have this knowledge so young. Harkat, the good news is that, just as there are men who have learned to control their impulse to jump any young thing in a skirt, and are better for it, so there are women who understand their own hypergamy and want something more out of life than the carousel. Your knowledge will help you to identify such women.
[…] and they acknowledge the basics of it. I addressed this in The Bitter Taste of the Red Pill and Bitter Misogynists, but the simple version is that what’s being outlined for red pill men seems too hopelessly […]
You’re a freaking genius! Love your perspective, and look forward to all of this new found information enriching my life! Thank you brother!!!
This is actually the first article that resembled my experience. When I decided that being the good guy always got me shit, I started trying to be more of a dick to women and yes it worked. The problem was that when I would like a woman I would naturally revert back to the good guy again and they would get bored. Plus I too realized the extreme hypergamous nature of women. Now I’m reluctantly MGTOW. I like having sex with women, but I don’t like women. The fact that being a good honest caring person is not enough for… Read more »
From the post: “What’s depressing isn’t that a well delivered neg, or C&F, or harnessing the attractive Alpha Asshole energy could actually generate sexual interest in women, it’s the principle behind them – the reason why they work – that prompts the internal conflict.” Rexx: you said, “I like having sex with women, but I don’t like women. The fact that being a good honest caring person is not enough for them truly sickens me. Since when did maintaining a relationship require so much manipulation. It’s just not my style. So fuck’em!” Be careful that you don’t get sucked into… Read more »
[…] hinting at here goes a little further beyond the perception of a Red Pill aware man being “bitter”, and into the social dynamics that center on creating and interpreting him being such. The danger […]
[…] I’ve been writing in the manosphere for so long now that the same predictable straw men arguments and out of context quotes have become de rigueur now. Any objective observation of women’s sexual strategy by a man is always synonymous with misogyny. […]
I started reading about a week ago and only recently got to this post and it’s mention of nihilism. That’s exactly the point I got to after reading the first half dozen of the posts I clicked through… what’s the fscking point if they’re so easily and predictably motivated? The point of intergender dynamics for me right now is to fix me. I’m very good at late to LTR game (not perfect but picking up great tips from TRM). However, I have an extreme approach phobia. By hell or high water, I’m going to fix it…
Curious thing. My experience around MRA’s and TRM specifically has leveled my personality so, that I’m rather pleasant, less wayward, more patient and a better dad, husband. A happy warrior. Women like me more at work although I’m less HR friendly, but still polite and know the score.
People are wont to judge themselves by the friends they make, have. Judge a person on their enemies. That’ll tell you more of his mettle.
Cool. Thanks for the link.
[…] presumption of any man who might be critical of anything pro-female for sometime now, but the Bitter Misogynist narrative needed some freshening up to remind women and men about their duty as responsible […]
You all make it sound as if the sexual strategies of women are innately a bad thing, because they put men at a disadvantage.
If you define morality after what benefits yourself, then you do not have the higher ground.
Do you all also rally against female spiders and mantises for eating the males after sex? Are they evil?
@Gokka, read more, comment less, you’ll thank me for it:
All right. Thank you.
So I read it. My thought remains: it appears as if people here vilify Hypergamy et cetera as being evil. Because some men are losers in that schema, I suppose. Meanwhile, we observe with appreciation how other species go by their mate selecion games. “See how the walrusses fight, and the winner mates with the females. This ensures a strong offspring” Morality should not be self-serving. Morality is doing what is best – for the group, for loved ones, for the advancement of society – even if it penalizes oneself. Only then does the group move forward. Robot Law Zero.… Read more »
My thought remains: it appears as if people here vilify Hypergamy et cetera as being evil.
Then you either are not reading with care, or thinking at all. Try again.
[…] • “Alpha Widows” are just men making shit up and thinking the worst of women because they’re bitter and burned. […]
[…] Kaynak: Bitter Misogynists […]
[…] Kaynak: Bitter Misogynists […]
[…] http://therationalmale.com/2011/10/25/bitter-misogynists/#comment-978 […]
[…] Denial — Still Plugged -In: “These game guys are a bunch of clowns, there’s no way this works on women. Women aren’t stupid. What a bunch of misogynists.” […]