Unmarriageable

This week there’ve been a rash of articles all outlining the latest statistics about marriage in this decade. US marriage rates are at a 150 year low and, if you believe the all-female article writers, it’s of course men’s fault for failing to be marriageable. These articles are referencing a study published last week titled Mismatches in the Marriage Market and this study reveals large deficits in the supply of potential male spouses. One implication is that the unmarried may remain unmarried or marry less well‐suited partners.

That’s right gentlemen, you’re unmarriageable and the ladies want you to shape up. If you want to experience marital bliss – despite all the inherent personal dangers for men in today’s “marriage economy” – you must make yourself “economically attractive“:

“Most American women hope to marry, but current shortages of marriageable men — men with a stable job and a good income — make this increasingly difficult,” says lead author Daniel Lichter in a press release.

The stats don’t lie and they are pretty bleak. More women are enrolled in college than ever before and more are expected to enter through the middle of the coming decade. Now, a degree doesn’t guarantee a woman a job, and it says nothing about the majors and job sectors women prefer, but a college education does reinforce the idea that women are entitled to marry an economically attractive man who himself has an education and enough aspiration to make something of himself to become marriageable.

That’s some real shit right there and we’re not even half way through this post. We’ve gotten to the point where the truth of the past five decades is apparent; gendered politics has actively, openly, disadvantaged men in terms of education. Whether this hobbling of men is via educational dispensations (Title IX) or social conventions (divorce, child support, Duluth model feminism) the outcome is now unignorable.

In most western societies today there is a separate standard of justice that applies to women. Women are receive far fewer consequences and are sentenced much more leniently than men for committing the exact same crimes. These are easily proven statistics, but even when they are brought to light the gynocentric social order doubles down and justifies them because, women.

My intent here today isn’t to depress anyone. Neither am I drawing attention to this because I’ve made a new turn to the Men Rights Movement. No doubt there’ve been many article already written about the female hubris inherent in these revelations – revelations the Red Pill community has been pointing out for almost two decades now.

The manifestations of about 50 years of social changes produced by a feminine-primary social order are unignorable. Even mainstream media sources are finally seeing these stories as the red meat du jour for the masses now. A lot of the Red Pill principles and I and many other men in the Manosphere have been drawing attention to about intersexual dynamics are now coming to light in popular consciousness.

Aww Quit Complaining

Last year I delivered the State of the Manosphere Address, and in that talk I outlined the rise of what I saw as a new Gender War (or gender cold war). Naturally I was called a reactionary, and have been since described as “overly negative” even by the organization that asked me to deliver that speech. But yet, everything in that outline has come to pass in less than a year. Of course, the easy dismissal is to blame this on election year propaganda. More than one mainstream talkshow conservative has jumped on the Toxic Masculinity bandwagon, pointing out how the Left and mainstream feminism are one and the same.

However, there have been many swings of the political pendulum in the past 50 years. Conservative zeitgeists have contributed to the same feminine-primary social order that’s resulted in men being unmarriageable today. It’s just been good politics to appeal to the Feminine Imperative no matter what side of the political aisle you happen to sit on.

But I’m a man. I’m not supposed to be overly concerned with issues like this. As long as I’m measuring up to my Burden of Performance any marginal raising-of-awareness to truths like the ones above make me seem like I’m complaining. And that’s something men are never allowed to do. It’s a very effective way of silencing men. Get them to feel like they ought to silence themselves. Real men don’t complain.

Meanwhile, it’s Broke Men who are hurting American Women’s Marriage Prospects. My good friend Dalrock once wrote a series of post around the idea that feminism would be so much more successful if men would only cooperate with it. When women are unable to optimally complete their mating (and life’s) strategies it’s men’s fault for being uncooperative. It’s men’s fault when women’s life plans don’t come together as Sheryl Sandberg told them it would. It’s men’s fault when they won’t play the approved role they should when women hit their Epiphany Phase and their sexual priorities shift.

Confirming the Red Pill

If you needed a better illustration of the Solipsism inherent in women’s nature you’ll be hard pressed to find it on a bigger scale than the dozens of stories bemoaning the lack of marriageable men today. Furthermore, it goes to prove another Red Pill truth: as a man, women don’t care who you are as much as what you are. I’ve taken a lot of heat over the years over my assessment of how men and women have different concepts of love. Men love idealistically. I rarely get any pushback on that assertion, but when I layout how women’s Hypergamous natures predispose them to a concept of love based on opportunism men and women lose their minds.

Yet, here we are. Women enthusiastically proving my point for me without me having to do any heavy lifting. As women become more comfortable in Open Hypergamy we see this embracing of their nature proudly flaunted. Naturally women will double down on this.

Of course women don’t wanna marry no bum!

And then the Trad-Cons join the chorus,

It’s men’s fault they aren’t measuring up to being the men all women are entitled to.

There are dozens of studies that correlate divorce with women earning more than their husbands. In fact, women are reluctant to admit that they out-earn their husbands. Throughout the history of this blog I’ve shown the evolved reasons for this dynamic, but what the articles all dance around is women’s natural evolutionary desire for men who exceed them in all aspects. But because we’ve opted to believe in, and standardized on, social constructionism we lay all of that on “societal expectations” of men and women. In a future essay I’ll be defining how the cope of humans being ‘above it all’ in their evolved instincts is the root source of many deliberate misgivings about intersexual conflict. For now, understand that blaming any inconvenient intersexual truth on a nebulous “society” is the go-to rationale for a feminine-primary social order.

If only men would evolve and rise above what society foists on them we women would be happy” versus “Men need to accommodate women’s success by making themselves more ‘economically desirable’

And “Oh, but love is important too, *wink wink*.”

“Many young men today have little to bring to the marriage bargain, especially as young women’s educational levels on average now exceed their male suitors’,” Lichter says.

It’s interesting that some articles advocate for marriage as a “stabilizing force” in society, all while never (maybe deliberately) seeing the economic risks of disaster that the divorce industry incentivizes in women. There’s nothing stabilizing about promoting marriage between men you’ve deemed “economically unattractive” and women who feel entitled to a man who exceeds their Hypergamous expectations. There’s nothing ‘stabilizing’ about the incidence of divorce between couples where the man is unable to out-earn his wife.

Naturally we want to make this a ‘his‘ problem. He can’t get over the fact that she makes more, has more education, etc. He’s insecure in his masculinity and must feel threatened by Her success. Or it could be the fact that on an instinctual level he understands that it’s an evolved imperative for a man to provide for and protect his family. This is the fallacy of Rise Above It. No matter how enlightened and progressive we’d like to think we are nature drags us back to reality. It’s not a socially constructed problem – if it were it would be easily solved – it’s a human nature problem. Women reveal the true Hypergamous nature in articles like these. They want a man who they can naturally look up to, respect and admire. That’s the natural truth coming out, but they source the problem in a socially constructed fantasy that it’s men’s insecurities that are holding them back from completing women’s mating/life strategies.

Women don’t need to get married anymore. The average age of first marriage is hovering around 27 years old for most couples. Studies also show that more than half of young people in America don’t have a romantic partner. We’ve all but eliminated the Beta Bucks side of the Hypergamous equation for women. Open Hypergamy (and Open Cuckoldry) are the logical outcomes of this provisioning insurance we’ve made ubiquitous for women over the last 40 years. Yet, women still want to be married to a man who outclasses them in all areas of life. They feel they deserve that guy. Their hindbrain knows they do, but the nebulous society still encourages women to believe there’s never been a better time for them to be single. This is the message women are being fed as they complain about men’s not living up to being their “equals”.

Nearly half of working-age women will be single in 2030, a new Morgan Stanley study predicts, a demographic that will drive increased sales for companies in the athletic wear, cosmetics and clothing sectors.

The investment bank’s “Rise of the SHEconomy” report says 45 percent of working-age women between 25 and 44 in the U.S. will be single women in 10 years, Forbes reported.

Single women will drive the economy in the next decade and savvy businesses are already planning on exploiting this demographic. But yet it’s men’s fault for not being marriageable and/or avoiding marriage altogether?

Too many people think I’m down on marriage. Apparently 23 years of what most guys would consider an ideal marriage isn’t enough to convince them. Honestly, as an institution – socially enforced monogamy – I think marriage, based on evolved gender difference complementarity has been the foundation of the success of western culture. But maybe we’re at a turning point in human history where traditional marriage is left behind, replaced by feminine-primary polygamy with all its inherently violent risks. It seems we’re heading in a direction where we convince Beta men it’s in their reproductive interests to abandon their evolved need to be invested in their own paternity – and that attending to and raising the children of men that women selected before them makes them ‘better men’.

There’s a lot more to the anti-marriage reasoning than just the “losing half my stuff” arguments.

It really sucks for a guy like me who’s managed to make a Red Pill aware marriage work in spite of all this. Guys get confused. How can I be anti-marriage and still married? But it’s just that dichotomy that tells the you about the nature of what marriage has become for men today. The way we do marriage today has the potential to be the most damaging decision a man can make in his life. It may even end his life. But despite all that I still believe men and women are better together than we are apart. We still evolved to be complements to the other.

It’s the coming together and living together, and all the downside risks to men today that I have no solution for at the moment. Maybe it’s going to take a war or a meteor striking the earth to set gender parity back in balance, but at the moment there’s only a future of sexual segregation to look forward to.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

457 comments on “Unmarriageable

  1. “Because a good part of the “alphas”, or of the people with a strong need to picture themselves as alphas, finds it the best to do to reproach awoke men, telling them they are lazy, whiners, not real men and all, because (and here the feminine-primacy-boosting mantras are reinforced, as if they needed reinforcement) real men just face up to and take anything destiny, culture, the legal courts, and so on throw at them.”

    No. Not this. Real men don’t merely take anything thrown at them. Like Marines, real men adapt and overcome.

    “This is an attitude that prevents men from co-operating with their sex, associating, and getting any rebalance in the sex wars.”

    Very blue pill to think that top down action will help you directly or quickly. That ain’t happening any time soon, even if all men cooperated perfectly. You have to do what you can and work on whatever you have control over. Your will, your energy, your body, your mind. That’s what you can change. And that’s where social change begins, one man at a time.

  2. “I don’t know of any participants in the manosphere telling any average guy to get married.”

    If average were what it was 50 years ago, we could tell average guys to get married because it worked because average guys 50 years ago had balls and could do things like fix things and work on cars and lead well. But not today’s average guys.

    No, the message today has to be for average guys to improve themselves for themselves and worry about women later. Average guys have to become better than today’s average and relationship skills need to be developed. Marriage is still the best option if you want kids, but today’s average guys can’t do well in marriage. Relationship skills have to be developed through practice in actual relationships and that takes work.

  3. This article illustrates how hypergamy and female entitlement are alive and well. Feminism has taught women to be independent and to do nothing for the expressed pleasure of a man. Yet men are ridiculed for not living up to the female imperative and failing to provide women with what they are entitled to have. Do everything for women but don’t expect anything from them in return. Feed my hypergamous need you losers.

    The second graph is alarming. Especially now that approaching or looking at a woman can be considered a crime. Nice job ladies, way to go running off all of your potential suitors. Better get a good supply of cat food.

  4. “Total misrepresentation of Married Red Pill. MRP is becoming red pill aware after marriage.
    After being married. And wanting to stay married.”

    “Oh shit I am standing in a fire. Let me just stay right here even though I’ve now dispelled any and all illusions that this is beneficial for me whatsoever.”

    That is willingly and consciously remaining asleep despite being forcibly awakened. Peak blue pill. Also, F. At least the random blue pilled cuck can still believe in love and companionship and shit because Disney said so.

    Then you look at the ones who are allegedly alpha and red pill and whatever else and they act and post exactly like a goddamn female because the bitch brain is so strong in them they literally cannot be men anymore. It’s all emotional vomit, shame games, demanding we fill some lofty standard in exchange for nothing… were any and all of those comments written by a super sized afterthot I would not be surprised in the slightest. Fun fact for you – alphas are secure in their position and rarely posture over it. It’s the betas that are constantly starting a conflict. Me? I’m pointing and laughing at a bunch of bitch brained tradcucks that think they’re red pilled and taking bets on how long it takes before they realize they are living an even bigger lie. They’ll have 1-2 token kids (or assuming they’re not virtue signaling only 5-10) who will be stolen and abused by a single mother and will become good little corrupted consumer golems in the now broken family. Meanwhile even shitposting on the internet influences more minds and makes more people think like you than that. Failed influence over a small number < successful influence over a large number. Best part? I’m just saving men’s lives here, the whole spreading a mindset thing is purely incidental.

  5. I’m getting bored of the blue pill controlled opposition, so in closing:

    1: PUAs are dancing monkeys giving females what they want and validating and amplifying their progressively worse doubling down on the bad behavior. They’re also merchants very intimidated by anyone who realizes that spending a few thousand on a class and a few hundred on clothes and a few dozen on drinks and whatever else is still buying sex and at significantly over market price at that.

    2: TradCucks are also part of the problem by being a bunch of pussy apologists who will happily pay for Pretty Princess’ mistakes and take pride in being used and discarded. Truly you are goyim. Also, your Monkey Dancing (not the same as being a dancing monkey because this is physical posturing instead of sexual) impresses no one, not even the female who no doubt shittalks you every time you turn your back.

    3: Females aren’t blameless of course and truly are a special kind of stupid. Imagine being a criminal and having a huge demographic that gets off on being victimized and still fucking that up. Just show males what they wanna see and most will deceive themselves. Even if you show them some evidence you’re a crook they’ll still fall for it. Show them enough though and the illusion breaks, only those willfully castrating and deluding themselves will still go along with it along with much posturing they are in control.

    PS: Pussy is cheap as free, quit worshipping it.

  6. This article illustrates how hypergamy and female entitlement are alive and well.

    Yes it does. That is the nature of Hypergamy. Hypergamy=entitlement. The want for better.

    Feminism has taught women to be independent and to do nothing for the expressed pleasure of a man.

    Yes it has. So what? It is En Force, currently. Why would you invest in that and give your energy of anger, bargaining or depression. That is only you in IT’S Frame. It’s energy depleting. So what have you done about that except think about it? It is a numbers game, haven’t your heard. That is what En Force is all about.

    Yet men are ridiculed for not living up to the female imperative and failing to provide women with what they are entitled to have.

    If you get ridiculed, what are you going to do about that? Believe the ridicule? Withdraw. Not go forth and do your thing?

    Do everything for women but don’t expect anything from them in return.
    Why would one do that? Human relationships are made of exchanges. Your statement is a strawman. It’s not a thing

    Feed my hypergamous need you losers.

    You against them. You feel like a loser? Tell us about it. Do something about it.

  7. I’m perceiving Anon’s definition of a TradCuck as someone that took something from him, so he projects a TradCuck is miserable in his choice.

    TradCuck’s are are a problem, because why? Not everyone winds up in rehab like Jordan Peterson did last week. Because of Red Pill, not Blue Pill.

    What is a TradCuck, btw?

    Someone that has a wife?

    A married guy?

    Someone that decided to do something he wanted to do?

    Co-parents with really cool, autonomous, good children?

    Any other guy than Anon?

    What?

    And wtf is a goyim here? Define it, here. I have no idea.

    And don’t think the anyone that is married is Blue Pill by default hasn’t been brought up by losers on the internet before. Are you 18 years old? If you are older you might be somewhat retarded in your growth of mindset. You should evaluate how you are doing, periodically.

    I actually suspected Anon wass Coolio with a new avatar name. But maybe not. Coolio wasn’t angry. This guy is. And he’s not even debating how things ought to be. Just ranting on how he percieves they are through black pill or opaque lenses.

    Good luck with that.

  8. “It’s all emotional vomit, shame games . . .”

    Yeah. I was hoping for some entertainment from you, but in the end this is all I got before you flamed out. Bummer.

  9. Fun fact: Blacksmiths use fire a lot and somehow generally manage to avoid getting burned badly. Anon needs to head over to the smiths and tell them that they need to find new work.

  10. ….demanding we fill some lofty standard in exchange for nothing…

    Hypergamy doesn’t care. Except that you have something to exchange for inter-sexual dynamics.

    You might even want to be attractive.

    You might even want to tell your adult son:

    https://dannyfrom504.com/detinennui32s-advice/

    The following is an excerpt from a more comprehensive, detailed Red Pill Parenting advice summary for 18 year olds. Needs exponentiality based on age. Multiply X10 for each decade if it feels simplistic for you. Do read the article in the link. Written by one of the greater content providers in in the manosphere back in 2011. It’s old. Your son can do better. Without so much noise going around these days. This is the keep it simple stupid version. Note that KISS means “keep it simple stupid”, rather than “keep it simple, stupid”.

    Ten things Men Can Do Right Now to Improve Their Attractiveness

    1. If you’re in a bad relationship that’s going nowhere, end it right now. And then do not talk about her to any woman. If you need to bellyache, do it with a male friend.
    2. If you’ve just ended a bad relationship, don’t rush headlong into another one. Be alone and unattached for a while.
    3. Hit the gym. You will feel better, look better, and boost your testosterone levels.
    4. Buy one new outfit that looks good on you and that you feel comfortable in. New shirt, new slacks, new shoes. Or, if you’re so inclined or your profession requires it, get a new suit, dress shirt and tie. Then give away to a local charity one old outfit that you no longer wear or that you can’t wear any longer.
    5. Do something you’ve never done before, either alone or with a friend. Then talk about it to the next woman you see. (Make sure your chosen activity is legal and can be discussed in mixed company.)
    6. Find one new male friend who understands Game. Sharpen him, and let him sharpen you.
    7. Make conversation with the women around you. Move beyond “How are you?” “Fine.” Say something else. Change it up.
    8. Pay attention to details: Your nails. Your haircut. Stray eyebrow or nosehairs. Your teeth. Your breath. Deal with them.
    9. Take a road trip to someplace you’ve never been before. Then bring it up in conversation to the next woman you see.
    10. Clean your house/apartment and keep it picked up.

  11. Sjf

    Anon’s ” definitions ” we’re for shit. His stats were made up.

    What’s odd is that he garnered a little support here, even while jabbing at Rollo and everything else. After 2 or 3 screeds from him everybody should have saw through him like wet toilet paper.😂

    But incels need outlets too I guess. Like.sentient said, 4 Chan spilling over.

    no sharks were harmed

  12. And for a bit of masculine inspiration:

    Yesterday Sandy Cortmann buddy jumped onto Ginkel Heath outside of Arnhem, the Netherlands. Cortmann is a survivor of that meat grinder known as Operation Market Garden. Cortmann is 97 years old.

  13. …. But writing styles are like finger prints.

    Anon sounded stylistically similar to someone that posts here, as did ” coolio “.

  14. Be kind to Anon.:

    Easier done if he would define his motive. Or end goal, purpose and mission. The minimum requirement of a manifesto, which often goes without saying–before the manifesto is manifest.

    Wait, though, you’re not talking about Elliot Rogers’ are you?

    If so, I’ll take all I said back. And remand him to his mother’s love.

  15. …. But writing styles are like finger prints.

    Anon sounded stylistically similar to someone that posts here, as did ” coolio “.

    I agree it seemed like a sock puppet.

  16. “…. But writing styles are like finger prints.

    Anon sounded stylistically similar to someone that posts here, as did ” coolio “.

    I agree it seemed like a sock puppet.”

    Lmao he’s not Scribbs (notice lack of ‘hb9’ talk). All angry MGTOWs just talk/write alike.

  17. You can say what you want about Anon but I think he has a point.

    To those who don’t get what you guys are doing it looks like a bunch of capitulation and it shouldn’t be that way.

    In his mind, a woman that mouths off should be fearing a backhand. But make the backhand illegal and she stops fearing the backhand.

    It’s frustration and it’s a feeling of powerlessness that comes from knowing that despite what you do to make yourself someone she wouldn’t do that to, women have the option of disrespecting you just to see what your response to that is.

    It’s a sad thing. Alot of these guys are remembering women who they interacted with when they were young and she was a stupid kid who didn’t know what words and actions can cause another person to do.

    Then they perceive older people who are in a similar situation but coming at it from a totally new angle but in their own minds it’s more of the same.

    “She has the right to act like a stupid cunt. Nobody gives a fuck what I think or what I do once I make the mistake of showing anger and a willingness to flip this stupid table.”

    “She gets to develop social skills, I get to develop tolerance for humiliation.”

    And so forth.

    I don’t think these people want to actively shit on Red Pill. I think they just don’t want anyone to forget about the backhand or that our lives used to be about different things not 100 years ago.

  18. If you’re not very careful and take precautions against it you might end up learning something new every day. Today I learned that Rollo follows my favorite Native American motorcycle road racer. If you aren’t familiar with him, here’s an on topic sample:

  19. @Anon is angry, it’s a legitimate place to be especially for a young male, I have hope for him. Young people have been handed an economic/cultural/society/sexual shit show at large here in the USA , anger is a good response to it. I felt much the same when I was introduced to the red pill , eventually the possibility exists for moving on to a more constructive mindset, but anger comes first, I get it. Anon, you have good opportunities once the anger phase passes with the right mindset.

    I wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss some of what he posted, yes it’s not “positive” but much of it does jibe with what I see everyday, it’s a shit show even in “MC/UMC” land. Going by Rollo’s definition of “cuckcold” my neighbor to the right and my neighbor to the left both qualify , another just moved away who lived in front, he took in a late 40s woman with two troubled male teenage kids and just bought her a house. This is not some internet bullshit, I see it everyday. Money/workouts/muscles is also not the sole answer , I have a workout partner who is most likely a millionaire and he is caught up with a “kid” and “wife” from Southeast Asia drama, this is not a weak guy when it comes to working out as some of the stuff is pretty extreme we do. I could go on and on with actual firsthand information but everyone here gets it.

    There are multiple redpills as @Blax stated, as others have stated extrinsic motivation vs intrinsic motivation is important and it’s a long way of saying mental point of origin. A lot of the red pill community thinks they are their own mental point of origin but I suspect a lot of them are still extrinsic motivated especially tradcons and any religious community by definition. Anon was hinting at this and it’s an important point to consider.

    Are you your own mental point of origin ?

  20. On the income discussion, I had a single mom dental hygienist who was coming hard for me, good looking, it started playful on her part then she more wrapped up as time went on, I was just amusing myself didn’t have any expectations.

    She wanted to know what I did for a living, I always told her I washed and vacuumed cars. She knew it was bullshit but she liked the fact I wasn’t going to play the income game with her either way, testing. I was at a table with another group of guys and the waitress asked us what we did for a living , I responded we bag dog food for a living laughing, she understood straight away my point but almost all the guys got annoyed because they just don’t get it.

    Never discuss money/resourced/jobs with any woman including your wife , if she wants to fuck she will fuck regardless of who you are, if she doesn’t it’s her loss.

  21. Single, childless women who work
    – buy more stuff
    – buy more expensive stuff
    – buy more expensive stuff regularly

    Invest in wine, cat food, shoes and birth control companies, they are gonna make a killing.

  22. “Money/workouts/muscles is also not the sole answer , “

    and PUA game won’t keep you from getting dumped either…and if you get dumped as a PUA you’ll get dumped in a marriage…which puts you at risk in a marriage of being frivorce-raped…you need to keep hand…which means that you need to enforce your boundaries when a woman tests them…which means that you can’t be insecure…which for most guys means fixing their self-image and accepting their masculinity as a good thing…and you need solid relationship skills if you are to have a happy relationship…and it’s controversial, but I would argue that you need to be able to train a woman (at least so far as eliminating bad habits that she has acquired–especially Girls’ Night Out)

  23. Something I know something about (at least in retrospect), and something many get wrong. The question comes up, “Should I get married?” The answer is if you want to, and if you can find a wife to marry.

    An interesting way of thinking about marriage, came from a video series I recommended some time ago from a very entertaining content creator called ChroniclesOfJudah 144, “The Difference Between a Wife and a Concubine”. I know common-sense sounding advice like vetting and they’re all just girls are popular here, but I found his arguments, from a christian scriptural perspective persuasive, as a non-religious person, adding some depth to the secular discussion, that there were basically two types of women, wives and concubines. He makes these distinctions and points:

    How a woman conducts herself (W or C)
    How you are compelled to treat her (W or C).
    A concubine will bring disruption into your life.
    A wife sees how to fit into your life and make it better.
    A wife has to respect the masculine principle.
    A wife has to be loyal.
    A wife has to be willing to sacrifice.

    Conclusion, “But, if the Lord does bring somebody into your life that actually is concerned with your happiness and can appreciate you as a person then you have to reciprocate.” (Muddled quote from the author, but basically you would be stupid not to take what the Lord has given to you.)

  24. Weird, @Anon is living his life and gave good analysis. What he didn’t refrain from, sadly, is taking shots at the OMGs here. Sure he’s angry. It’s actually a healthy response, as long as one moves forward from it.

    @Blaximus, you asked on the thread up if anyone here has gotten worked over by the state. Yes (but does it matter if anyone HERE at that moment we’re victims of it?) And even if one doesn’t go through to court-mandated settlements, the threat of court and the state are ever-present in the background or foreground of all relationships in the workplace and at home. I know you know this.

    And of course, those lawyers must get paid for all the haggling and lead-up before the court case arrives. Many men zero themselves out long before they make it to court. My journey is a case in point.

    Men are able to do what they want to do. An integrated man makes choices and adjustments without getting defensive/angry about it.

    No, I’m not integrated yet lol

    Just a quick question: do any of the OMGs here pop over to married red pill reddit? I like their stuff, sure your guys’ vibes would be very welcomed there. Happy you’re here though.

  25. Just Beers

    “Weird, @Anon is living his life and gave good analysis.”

    So the guy who lives alone, makes less than $50k a year, lifts, plays video games and jerks off to porn is the credible source of wisdom on women?

    K…

    I saw a probable virgin who can’t get a girl to touch his pee pre making a necessity a virtue.

  26. Beers

    I don’t read married red pill Reddit. TRM is the only community I regularly read.

    The only time I ever consider the ” threats ” of marriage is when I read someone talking about the threats of marriage. Imo/ime, there are many ” threats ” out in the world, and there always has been. Part of going from an infant to a man is facing threats and figuring how to deal with them. That’s the difference between a boy and a man at the core.

    Re: angry anon taking shots…😂 his ” shots ” are small caliber and really don’t matter in the big picture. He’s touting his coping strategy rather than his ability to deal with perceived problems like a boss, lol. If you face the world expecting failure constantly, your reward will be failure. It’s simple.

    As far as courts and ” the system ” and the threats, yes I have run the legal gauntlet a couple of times, but never because of a woman.

    The moment I came to ” Jesus “: standing before a judge at age 18 in traffic court ( traffic court!!!!!! ) getting berated by the dude on the bench. He says ” (( I )) could lock you up for 90 days of I want to. It depends on how I feel and what I want to do with you. ” . I didn’t have a lawyer because it was traffic court and I only had a ticket for passing a school bus ( after the driver waved me around, a cop 3 cars back sped up and pulled me over, claiming he didn’t see anybody wave me around ). Then the judge threatened to suspend my license for 6 months. what the fucker didn’t know was that I was licensed in 2 states…..

    After reading me the riot act, he finally decided to hit me with a 200$ fine, and he threw my license at me from the bench, hitting me square in the face.

    I’ve already spoken here before about having more guns pulled on me by police, along with threats to ” blow your fucking head off/brains out “. When younger this happened yearly.

    2 lessons learned early in life: 1) don’t ever trust the system not to fuck you whether you’re right or wrong. 2) understand your rights. 3) akways, always, always have funds to be able to adequately defend yourself, and vet lawyers.

    It’s not just divorce. If that’s your only ” problem “, that’s not as bad as the random shit that can happen at any time. LOl, most guys never think about it until it actually happens to them, like that poor dude in Vegas a few years ago in the hotel begging the cop not to shoot him before the cop lit him up. I bet he never thought of that in his wildest dreams.

    I was divorced ( initiated by me ) and the state didn’t fuck me. My ex didn’t demand anything. When didn’t use the courts to ” take my shit “. 2020 will mark 23 years in my current marriage. I’m not under ” threat ” that my wife will use any state agency against me because she trusts the state as much as I do.

    I.vetted for that btw.

    So I think it is possible to be with a woman without being afraid she’s going to do something awful to you eventually. But, I have seen guys that were 100% clueless get assfucked by the courts, and I could see it was going to happen years before it did. These guys made every single mistake Rollo has outlined here at TRM and in his books and videos.

    Yes, I don’t really listen to any guy that hasn’t ever been married speculate on what it means by pointing to failure. I don’t listen to guys that fear women ( or men ).

  27. I’m not a supporter of ” organized religion ” per se, because it seems to weaken many men instead of giving them strength.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DenXW2iHC9Y

    It’s unpopular to tell men to ” be a man “, and imo any ” church ” that doesn’t address these things isn’t worth a damn.

    Idk, what is it about things being easy that’s appealing over the long term?

  28. JB

    I pop over to MRP reddit, but only infrequently. I came to it when I was three quarters or more up on the learning curve of my Reconstruction. I had already read and understood most all of the sidebar material. I never contributed for a number of reasons. One is I could never come up with a good user name (kidding…), I already knew most of the steps of dread and didn’t need to go beyond about level 5 (which most competent men shouldn’t need to go beyond) and then later found that the vernacular and ideas were somewhat limiting when one is/you are reconstructed (falling back into process, vs. going beyond formulaic process and cheat codes). I found that I just needed to stick to the script and keep going beyond that. It became repetitive (which is sometimes good).

    So I endorse their stuff and think all of it is good. An excellent resource to fill in blind spots.

    Also, the forum format is better for discussion on individual points and needs. And you can private message users which can be a great resource (to make friends or enemies).

    I have heard that they are pretty hard on newbies that just don’t get it, or don’t want to swallow the red pill. And ban them for asking stupid questions. Similar to drumming out Anon for being living-a-masculine-life on retarded mode, they just ban guys that don’t follow Rule Zero.

    Some of us in real life have integrated red pill and game to the point that it is more natural than procedural, and at that point it becomes less adversarial with our wives in terms of all dread all the time. Dread is an early tool, then it is less necessary. Saying this would be criticized for being purple pill or worse. But it is less adversarial and more healthy in my opinion. It really is getting to natural and organically good relationship with inter-sexual needs being met, and then I daresay going beyond that. But every man an every relationship is different, so one has to make his own executive decision and not be shoe-horned into others’ frame or way of action. (This paragraph is not meant to be a criticism of anything even if it implies MRP reddit likes to stick in hard mode.)

  29. With regards to marriage and the divorce rate, for a more aware red pill man that knows himself the divorce rate should be dramatically lower and if there is a divorce it will most likely be initiated by the man. If you want to get married and have kids you should go for it, it is a worthy goal if you have it, but in order to be successful it will not be what you see on TV/Media or that of your friends or even what Rollo & Company advocate.

    Marriage is not the boogeyman some make it out to be especially if you are red pill. If you walk into it with your eyes closed and believe in all the love bullshit and follow the rest of the herd, yeah you are going to get fucked. If you let your guard down and rely upon religion/society/culture/family to enforce the marriage you are fucked in the USA.

    If you keep your eyes open are aware and provide value in the form of leadership/security if the woman is even decent aware value will be there. There are no guarantees in life but if you don’t take risk you will gain little.

  30. “I’m not a supporter of ” organized religion ” per se, because it seems to weaken many men instead of giving them strength.”

    Organized religion has come to be dominated by a single branch of Religion, the Personal Savior religions. They are so dominant that most people today cannot even conceive of Religion in any other terms. “God is love,” and all that happy horseshit. They’re actually relatively new and first arose about 2500 years ago and before then the idea of a “loving god” would have been viewed as some sort of insanity. The hardness of everyday life stood against the idea. Any god showing any sort of favor to man in general was generally depicted as being tormented by other gods.

    Having a mental point of origin in a savior is inherently a bit weak.

    Note that the fictitious god Crom, invented for the barbarian warrior Conan, is the antithesis of a personal savior. Not the enemy of, not Satanic, but the antithesis. At best he doesn’t give a damn (as it were) about your existence and at worst will snuff you out as an annoyance. Better you should take care of things yourself than call on him for assistance, as that would only make your situation worse.

  31. @SJF

    “Dread is an early tool, then it is less necessary. Saying this would be criticized for being purple pill or worse. But it is less adversarial and more healthy in my opinion.”

    More dread brings more drama. You need more drama at the beginning of your self-improvement turnaround and occasionally after that. Or you can go out constantly like I do and the wife learns to live with it and drama diminishes. So if dread stays at a constant level, drama will decrease over time.

    @foxguy

    “With regards to marriage and the divorce rate, for a more aware red pill man that knows himself the divorce rate should be dramatically lower and if there is a divorce it will most likely be initiated by the man.”

    +100

    Risk from divorce is far lower if a man is red pill (prudent–understands the risks of divorce and women’s inclinations). And has some competence at relationship game (skill based on wisdom).

    And if you followed Blax’s link about millennials and divorce, you find that divorce has dropped 15% for them from their elders for comparable length of marriage.

    Trigger warning: Bible

    @Blax

    As regards religion ™, I’m sure you know your Bible. I’m sure you’ve read the following:

    “I, wisdom, dwell with prudence, And I find knowledge and discretion.” Prudence is about recognizing risk and acting accordingly. Anon was about recognizing risk, which is fine. I had no disagreement with him about that.

    But Anon was all about fear and trembling about marriage because The State ™. It’s the fahr! Here again, the Bible has something to say:

    “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” That commandment applies to men considering entering marriage, with the expectation that the man has some relationship game (aka “wisdom”).

  32. as we speed headlong into Open Hypergamy, the old “divorce rape’ threat is going to go away…

    A tale from The Front:

    At an upscale lounge, on a Sunday night. So kinda quiet. Do my “Bar Posture” thing next to a girl sitting on a stool, she has two guys to her left on stools she is chatting with. So after a few minutes I get the arm tug and the open. Start chatting with her. She’s on a a “road trip” taking three weeks travelling across the country. Tells me she makes money online. I ask her if she is a cam girl… OMG!!! arm punch Squeeeee!!!

    Turns out she is an Instagram “influencer” who despite a relatively low 30K followers, she is pulling in low six figures. She has a couple deals with a few mega corporates, like Pepsi. Fell into this and quit her job.

    She’s just turned 30. Has been married three years. Her husband is 15 years older than her. She tells me she is leaving him. He has no ambition. After they got married he just started hanging out on the couch, watching more TV, playing games. Cut back his hours at work. Low energy… I explained to her he probably has Low T and could get a supplement… No matter.

    No kids. So she told him recently that she is leaving. No divorce. Just left. Been a few months now, she’s living in a married GF’s guest house. Now she out on this road trip. And looking for dick. Did I mention the looking for dick part?

    I ask what her husband is doing, wait for it…

    wait for it…

    He’s back in their former home, watching her cats… she say’s he thinks she is just going to come back one day.

    Punchline – did I mention she was a 6 face, with a large gut? [too large to bang… smh]

    Going forward, women will have live in house husbands, and go fuck alpha’s when and where they want to. And come back home to clean laundry, a hot meal, cat care… this is what it looks like.

  33. ” . . . women will have live in house husbands, and go fuck alpha’s when and where they want to.”

    That will be a minority. The majority will have alphas who make booty calls when they are wanted and a number of orbiting choreplay husbands who are rarely and pseudo-randomly allowed into the house, like a slot machine that pays off in sexual attention. Just enough intermittent reinforcement to keep them coming back to mow the lawn.

  34. To my mind, there are few options to returning the western world to a stable structure, and none of them are pills someone would willingly take. In fact, humanity does not seem to be evolved to persist with stable social structures. That could be due to hypergamy, but it almost doesn’t matter. The western world was not designed to survive the unbelievable levels of success it has enjoyed. But all other systems are not designed for success. Humanity’s choice seems to be either choosing a society that restricts women’s choices (Islam, ancient Christianity); Or one that grants full equality under the law, succeeds brilliantly for a time due to freedom and social flexibility, and then self-destructs because too many women on seeing the success the men are having, abandon the biological necessity of them giving birth and properly socializing young children.

    Humanity is seemingly at an evolutionary decision. We can’t have nice things because then women want all of them to themselves and will demand the nation-state taxpayer pay for them. And we cant have societally codified restrictions on women in general because then you live like the most backward nations in the Arab world and stagnate as a species.

    If we’re still having trouble with this kind of nonsense, just imagine how boring we look to aliens visiting.

  35. Sentient
    Is TRM the new Chan hangout?

    There was a mini-flood of screeching MGTOW that dropped into Dalrock’s comment section earlier in the month. It’s died down now, perhaps some of them have drifted here.

    A lot of them seem to be somewhere on the autism spectrum; the severe binary thinking that shows up in their emotional rants is one obvious clue, the near total inability to calibrate to anyone else is another clue.

    The inability to engage in simple verbal communication using logic is another clue.

  36. kfg
    Feminist feelings based “conference” eliminates conferencing:

    If only such badges worked that way in real life. I’d be “red-badged” in several venues all the time. So much more useful than the venerable No, I will NOT fix your computer T-shirt, which is too domain specific.

  37. @kfg re: looking toward a transcendent being as one’s MPO

    My ex is a 12-stepper, and used to use consulting her “higher power” as an excuse to do whatever she wanted, and to not taking responsibility for her decisions. In my eyes, it falls right into the innate solipsism theme.

    If anything blew apart my relationship the most, it was my outwardly expressed disdain for irresponsible behavior re: one’s autonomy and how that spilled over into the raising of our son. And if one is all into “higher power” and “mysterious ways” it’s an effortless step into ignoring one’s own role.

    @Blaximus, thanks for your response. I lacked both funds and stoicism when my world changed abruptly. It was the latter that cost me the most, however. Thanks for sharing your experience.

    @SJF my friend reconstructed his own marriage via the MRP sidebar and general lurking. As you indicated could be the case, he had to ameliorate hard mode after a bit… and things are going well for him and his family.

  38. “The inability to engage in simple verbal communication using logic is another clue.”

    Anon is repackaging stuff into alleged wisdom and understanding. In a bitter and biased way. (not that there is anything wrong with being in that stage for him. Right now. ) And not all of what he was saying was worthless to others in his situation. But wisdom and understanding are at a higher level and can be formulated in any number of ways. Just like the fact that there are 400 to 4000 Religions. (Notwithstanding the fact that religions are ideologyy based, rather than praxeological based on the study of human nature.)

    Based on The Trivium method of Thinking and Learning:

    In order formulate generalizable schematics and disseminate red pill praxeology (rhetoric and wisdom) in the manosphere that wisdom should be based on collected facts and logic.

    Based on:

    INPUT(Grammar, Knowledge): Gathering data from an eclectic array of sources withhout pre-judging it. Answers Who?, What? Where? When? (raw data).

    Anon’s raw data was obviously cherry picked and non-universal. (not my experience, not Blaximus’ experience). Same as the debates of 2016, where YaR. skewed the facts of raising kids after a PUA career. (based on speculation)

    Then,

    PROCESSING (Logic, Understanding). Comprised of 3 basic sub-steps: Filtration, Correlation, & Analysis. This enables us to learn Why?

    Then

    OUTPUT (Rhetoric, Wisdom). Speech and Action based upon the knowledge that one has gathered and understands. This is How</> Knowledge and Understanding are propagated so that real and positive change can be created.

    So even though facts can be put together and processed, the output can be skewed into MGTOW, INCEL, Black Pill, Blue Pill or Red Pill or God Pill based on the input and then skill of logic.

    This same process is used by the PUA community and the Red Pill content providers in a good way to put out good rhetoric and wisdom

    Sometimes on sect gets the grammar and logic wrong according to the opinion of another sect. To each his own. And good luck out there, based on good personal understanding and wisdom. Everyone’s experience of reality is different, until there are some commonalities.

    It’s not intentional group think or ganging up here to drive someone away. It’s a by product of discussion and debate. So have good rhetoric, guys.

  39. @JB

    Russell Brand’s revised 12 step program, 2017:

    1. Are you a bit fucked?

    2. Could you not be fucked?

    3. Are you, on your own, going to ‘unfuck’ yourself?

    4. Write down all the things that are fucking you up or have ever fucked you up and don’t leave anything out

    5. Honestly tell someone trustworthy about how fucked you are.

    6. Well, that’s revealed a lot of fucked up patterns. Do you want to stop it? Seriously?

    7. Are you willing to live in a new way that’s not all about you and your previous, fucked up stuff? You have to.

    8. Prepare to apologize to everyone for everything affected by your being so fucked up.

    9. Now apologize. Unless that would make things worse.

    10. Watch out for fucked up thinking and behavior and be honest when it happens

    11. Stay connected to your new perspective

    12. Look at life less selfishly, be nice to everyone, help people if you can.

  40. Rollo wrote above: “…as a man, women don’t care who you are as much as what you are…” and I came across that expression in the rationale male books I and II. I need to break this down to nuts and bolts: If woman cares (more) of WHAT I am, then I am a tool / means to an end for her to realize her goals, to provide for her whatever needs. If so, what’s the meaning of the WHO in sentence above?
    Rollo? Anyone?

  41. “No, I will NOT fix your computer”

    Did I build it for you? If yes, give me a hundred and fifty bucks and go to the back of the line. Be aware that it might take a while, but don’t worry, I’ll get it sorted for you.

    Did “HP” build it for Walmart? If yes, give me two hundred and fifty bucks and go home. I’ll take it out in the woods and shoot it for you.

  42. Anon may be burying himself under piles of verbiage, but two points do stand out for further consideration: 1) Feminism paradoxically has set MEN free, and 2) Women are foolishly kicking an own-goal by undermining the institution of marriage.

    Regarding Rollo’s chart on college attendance, I’ll add that women may also someday be sorry they’ve gone all in on higher education — as students and as academics. Between the crippling tuitions, spurious research and ridiculous rhetoric, the college bubble looks ripe for a big bust.

  43. Rollo wrote above: “…as a man, women don’t care who you are as much as what you are…” ….If woman cares (more) of WHAT I am, then I am a tool / means to an end for her to realize her goals, to provide for her whatever needs. If so, what’s the meaning of the WHO in sentence above?
    Rollo? Anyone?

    “Who” has no meaning.
    You gotta remember, her life is a made-for-television drama starring her. Much like it was when she was playing dollhouse and teaparties at age 5.

    It’s Lifetime – Television for Women!

    Who you are is utterly irrelevant.
    What you are, what you look like, what you wear, what you drive, what you provide, what status you represent that will ultimately shine well upon her (and cast shadows upon her female rivals), and how you treat her/make her “feel” is both EVERYTHING and the ONLY THING!

    Even if how you treat her, and how she feels from that, is just plain terrible and awful.
    That’s is everything.
    Who you are as a man. Your dreams, your wants, your goals & objectives, your strategy & tactics in order to achieve those goals, your journey, setbacks, hardships, lessons learned….she would just as soon wipe her ass with all that stuff. Unnecessary gobbledeegook irrelevant to the plot! Throw it out.

    Her: Hello-ohhhh???, this is, like, MY drama and MY show!!!???

  44. “1) Feminism paradoxically has set MEN free,”.

    This is something that I believe and stated herein before, but as pointed out in this blog, men always have the “burden of performance” to contend with. Has feminism really set men free from that? How much does a man owe his society to keep carrying that burden? The myth of equality free’s men at first glance from the burden of performance, yet women still hold men to it covertly. If you are carrying on to impress women, female validation, or to be attractive to them, you as a man are not free of the burden, as seeing how you carry it is part of female vetting.

    However, lots of guys are rejecting the burden of performance – they are not economically attractive to women and maybe they don’t care about that one bit. Not espousing MGTOW or anything, but even trad-con guys dump of these new-age guys freed of the burden of performance.

  45. The burden of performance for a man has very little to do with society ( besides not slaughtering lots of folks ).

    Please, for the love of Crom, leave ” society ” out of your calculus.

  46. Even if you crawl off into the woods to be a solitary mountain man, the rabbits you need to keep you alive are not going to set their own snares.

  47. A man has a ” burden ” just from being born male. Even if there aren’t women around for thousands of miles. It ain’t about them.

    Let’s say your a farmer raising chickens for your own personal use ( meat and eggs, yum.) And a wolf shows up almost nightly to raid your hen house and abscond with a chicken every night.

    No women in your farm.

    What are you, as a man, supposed to do about this? Do you sit by until the last chicken is gone?

    Or you and your buddies are out in the woods and you’re set upon by a grizzly bear. The best grabs one of your pals. There’s 5 of you. Should everyone else run away screaming?

    Or you see a.car on fire with the driver trapped inside, and 2 guys trying to free the driver ( male or female ). What are you, as a man, supposed to do? Whip out your phone to record the incident?

    Men are supposed to make things happen, big or small things. Unless one is very old or disabled, the burden is supposed to remain. Being ” free ” means being like most women.

  48. “1) Feminism paradoxically has set MEN free, and
    2) Women are foolishly kicking an own-goal by undermining the institution of marriage.

    So what are you going to do about it to accomplish your inter-sexual goals?

    I’m reiterating what KFG analogized about.

    I don’t believe Anon stated whether he was satiated with his strategies. Or that they will always play out well as a risk strategy.

    It’s one thing to be stuck in analysis, awareness and stasis. And it pays to have a payout at the end of your strategy.

    It’s another thing to have a good action plan for what your goals are. And not all men need the same goals.

    You don’t want to be stuck in a Nassim Taleb-ish “fat tail” situation which is pejoratively/figurative what happened to Corey Worthington in the original post picture.

    Fat tails are not a good risk strategy, whether playing to win, or playing not to lose. The alliterative definition of a fat tail (Taleb-wise) is “an abnormal agglomeration of angst.”

  49. Pinelero,
    These days my burden of performance is to myself and myself only, society has little to do with it anymore. Once you adopt this mindset you will be very free but the catch is that underlying foundation society provides is gone and it makes things tougher short term but with the possibility of true mental freedom.

    As to women, who cares , they can’t appreciate it anyway, use them and move on.

  50. “Being ” free ” means being like most women.”

    Being free means choosing and pursing what YOU want to do with your life. Not on what you should/supposed to do. That’s living your life on other people’s expectations. #beta.

    ….Won’t stop other people for tryin’ shame you tho.

    OMG = “lol @ banging old women”.
    PUA = “lol @ banging bar sluts”.
    MGTOW = “lol @ playing with yourself”.

  51. @J

    “lol @ banging old ladies”

    There’s truth and misunderstanding here. First, there’s married goggles so that you see the girl you’re banging as she was when she was young. Then there’s the light’s out impact on eyes and wrinkles go away when a girl is lying on her back. Sure, it’s a fantasy. But if it makes you happy….

    “lol @ banging bar sluts”

    lol, I don’t ever recall calling girls PUAs bang “bar sluts”…they’re just girls…but I do recall asking PUAs to come clean about how often they get dumped or how often they have to dump a girl because she’s wanting a LTR or getting bitchy

  52. @ Blaximus–If young men could tell the difference between a whore and a housewife, Rollo could probably shut down this blog and work on the next problem.

    As endlessly discussed, young women are emboldened to dress, act, and speak like whores. Young men are encouraged to accept this as normal behavior–be supportive, encouraging and non-judgmental. So, how, with all this camouflage could a young man be expected to know the difference?

    @ All, Marriage works for some men. TL/DR for most.

    Even, some of the Old Married Guys seem to be fuzzy on the details of wife versus concubine. Now, as I have said before, I married a unicorn. This will sound stupid, self-serving and braggish; but facts are facts. Here is an example of unicorn or if you prefer wife behavior. Before I begin, I would like to preface this by saying that we are not in financial straits, but were there previously in our marriage, and that impacts on all purchasing decisions. Don’t try this unless you married a wife and not a concubine. Hell, I don’t know for sure as I have only been married once and do not plan to do it again.

    Old Married Man Story Time:

    The band on my wife’s engagement ring broke. We went to a jewelry store to see about a repair. I know that this is important to her, and so, I didn’t discuss or place any monetary restrictions. To fix the existing band would cost about $1X. ($1X is roughly equal a several nights out eating and drinking.) To buy a new setting would be about $3X, with many of the settings were $4X and up.

    She was looking for me to direct her decision. I refused—telling her that I wanted her to be happy. She got all girly and excited like we were shopping for the original ring. She seemed to settle on the $3X setting. I told her to go ahead. She told the jeweler that she would have to think about it and we left. I questioned her and she said, “No way in hell am I spending that much money on a ring setting.”

    We ran more errands and ended up in a department store. They happened to be having a jewelry sale. She saw a 3-diamond ring priced at $1.5X. She has always wanted a 3-diamond ring to celebrate our 30th—which is coming soon.

    She said that she was being stupid, she didn’t need the ring and the money could be better spent on something else. I asked her, why, since she wears it everyday. After much hesitation, she allowed me to buy the ring for her—actually, we bought it together, as all of our finances are merged with only separate retirement accounts as is the law.

    She then, sort of justified it saying that the price of the ring was like, less than ten cents a day for the time we had been married.

    The next morning she told me, in semi-panic, that the ring had to go back, and she didn’t know what she was thinking. I asked her if she liked the ring—”Yes.” I told her that unless she didn’t like the ring or it was broken, it wasn’t going back.

    Later on, she even told me that she had post-purchase priced shopped and the price was still the lowest available.

    So, all is great, right? Well yes and no. She’s happy. OK, that’s great. But… She admitted that she would have been happier, if I had (1) decided to buy the ring picking the style without her knowledge or input (2) presented her with the ring on our actual anniversary date.

    I did have an answer. I told her that for our sixtieth anniversary, I’ll get her a ring with six diamonds.

    Post Script: In our many years together as married people do, we have said some terrible things to each other. One of the most hurtful things I ever, stupidly, told my wife was that during our long-lasting financial trouble, I wondered if, since it appeared that we were financially cursed, we might have been better off starting over with different partners. She was quiet for the rest of the day. I never said anything quite that stupid again.

  53. @theasdgamer

    “there’s married goggles so that you see the girl you’re banging as she was when she was young.”

    You’re the second guy to mention this “married goggles” phenomenon to me. But I wonder if its something some guys have while others don’t. What would explain guys cheating (or being very tempted to, but ultimately deciding not to go through with it, because honor or whatever) on their wives with younger attractive girls?

    “how often they have to dump a girl because she’s wanting a LTR”

    Its inevitable. Usually after 6 months. Sometimes sooner. sometimes later, depending on how often you guys see each other, and how much boyfriend qualities you start demonstrating etc. But If its an LTR (there goes that “doing what you want” thing again), then you don’t have to dump her lol.

  54. I stopped by over a cup of coffee to see if anything worth reading has popped up in the last couple of months.

    It’s amazing to see all you people are still on here complaining about the same old stuff.

    Regarding some of you thinking other people are masquerading as me on here.

    Not possible.

    There is only one Coolio – and I am The One.

  55. I might have to start my own blog.

    I could call it something like “The Beyond Rational Male for Extremely Superior Human Beings”.

    The only problem with that is there’s only been about ten of us on the planet since the beginning of time, and the other nine spent their whole lives trying to catch up to me.

  56. I don’t believe I’ve seen/read anything about the complaints regarding the wage gap. Apparently compensation has increased in equality. You got your wish girls.

  57. If-I-Fell
    To fix the existing band would cost about $1X

    Problem solved right there. Why all that other drama necessary?

  58. There’s a lot more to the anti-marriage reasoning than just the “losing half my stuff” arguments.

    When I got divorced I didn’t lose anything, I was poor at the time. But my ex-wife immediately re-married within 3 months of the divorced being finalized. We were separated for a year which means she must have met her new husband within that time.

    He was older than her and she was nearly 40 I’d heard he was over 60 with 2 grown children who immediately suspected she was a gold-digger because he was very wealthy.

    My ex-wife wasn’t in it for the money. She was in it for the “status” of being desired by someone…..anyone.

    When we were together she dressed like a housewife. When we separated it was short skirts, heels, make up and hanging out with younger hotter friends….if ONLY she’d been like this when we were together.

    I now only meet and bang girls in their 20’s. When I see my friends now in their mid to late 40’s happy they could get a SDL from a MILF or another “age appropriate” girl I think of fishing with dynamite.

    It takes a lot more personal effort, working on yourself, knowing and understanding your own strengths and getting that inner confidence to approach a hot 24 year old and be able to pass off the inevitable barrage of shit-tests about your age.

    In a recent situation the youngest in my rotation is 23 and a professional writer. She’s much more mature than other girls her age even though she still dresses like a volunteer in an animal shelter. But “boys” her own age bore her. She tells me they’re not a challenge.

    She doesn’t understand “shit-tests” she just says she likes a guy who can “handle my nonsense”. In every situation I make everything I get her to do as HER idea even though I’m clearly leading the interactions on my terms….because obviously she doesn’t know what she likes and wants.

    Masculinity as many of you may remember it…is dead in 2019. It’s been replaced by a kind of supplicating, nervous, self-effacing “modern man” or some sort of cliched douche bag chad.

    But it takes work on my part because from their standpoint they want an older guy, they don’t want an “old man”. This one asked me if I’d be ok with her introducing me to her friends—a shit test.

    “Sure” I said.

    “What???” she replied. I knew that by not getting all cocky and funny and shrugging it off it would confuse her.

    “I’m always down for a drink if you’re buying” I smiled.

    Then I went into my terms of how this would work IF it ever does happen. As this banter went on it was clear this was a shit-test that her “Friend” put her up to because “she’s always concerned about the guys I go out with and wants to introduce me to someone nice”.

    Me: “Go for it…”

    Her: blah blah blah

    She’s now dressing better, researching all my pop references becoming much more of a sophisticated tease.

    Girls in that age range WANT you to lead and be the decision-maker. They don’t make much money so it requires finding things that are interesting but that don’t cost much money—in other words being resourceful which is another masculine trait that “boys” no longer possess.

    Everything is on MY terms but with the idea that they thought of it…

    So this idea of “unmarriageable” really is a situation where the boys of today lack the emotional toolbox to deal with girls their own age and those girls are giving up on marriage or going for dudes like me who they know they won’t marry but will get that emotional connection they crave without the drama.

  59. “Was the picture in the post of Cory the Alpha Buda?”

    Yes. He settled for less than his potential. But then again, maybe he didn’t do the work to have potential in the first, second and last place. Or stick to his purpose and mission. But he sure was cool at one time. The back story is probably interesting. Who knows? Does it apply to you? What are you going to do about it?

    If so, can we revisit what it means to be Alpha?

    No. That would be like beating a dead horse. Corey doesn’t change the discussion. He was a one trick pony. A good pony at a point in time. And his wife had had hypergamous choices. She chose him. He committed.

    And his neck tats are probably a Tell, too. He was probably always looking for external validation. Faking the Alpha Buddha Frame.Well, not really faking, he was the man during and after his big party. So, what happened subsequenty. So what?, doesn’t invalidate Alpha, until it does:

    https://therationalmale.com/2011/10/20/alpha/

    And it proves Coolio’s point. Comes here dick swinging on a male discussion site. Wants validation for being the best, without providing bona fides about who he is, what he has accomplished, and what he plans to do every four years… He’s the best, until he isn’t. We’ve seen this script before… Or can even have a male discussion with other guys. Can’t even banter. Just lectures on how he is the greatest. Good luck with that. But not the best guy to hang out with at the bar and swap notes about the discussion at hand. Because he has his hand in his own pocket, not even giving actionable advice, except, you know, be like him, the best-est, problems solved, easy peasy…

  60. “Men love idealistically. I rarely get any pushback on that assertion, but when I layout how women’s Hypergamous natures predispose them to a concept of love based on opportunism men and women lose their minds.”

    Women love opportunistically. I’d argue that men also love opportunistically. The feeling of idealistic love comes from scarcity mentality mixed with blue pill conditioning.

    Roissy wrote: “A man loves a woman until she gains 50 pounds. A woman loves a man until he loses his job and goes unemployed for months on end.”

    The concept of idealistic love is part of the Matrix. If we try to define what idealistic love means, we might find that the concept doesn’t even make sense.

  61. Novaseeker
    improvement and the state of “males” or men all needs reflection and a porn improvement, Dancing and fitness and gym all help me with that.

    According to TERRY GASPARD

    1.Wait until you’re at least in your late 20’s to tie the knot.
    2.Select a partner who you have both chemistry (physical and intellectual) and compatibility with (share interests).
    3.Discuss expectations for your relationship with your partner on a regular basis.
    4.Learn good communication and repair skills to manage conflict. All couples experience conflicts but leaning to bounce back and repair hurt feelings is crucial for a couple’s long-term success.
    5.Practice forgiveness by giving sincere apologies when you hurt your partner and accepting them when you are feeling wounded. This will go a long way to heal from small and larger infractions when they occur. Not all hurtful actions are done on purpose, sometimes people simply make mistakes.

    Kevin a Thompson approach

    Assuming that some people don’t struggle in marriage. I call this the “Instagram effect.” People only post the best pictures on Instagram. They wait for the best moments, take a series of pictures, and then post the best one. In every picture, both spouses are happy and in love. Yet the pictures often lie. No marriage is perfect. Nobody is without issue or fault. Even the best marriages have tough days and contentious issues. Successful couples endure those moments and work through them. Sadly, when we think other people have perfect marriages and don’t have to work on their relationship, it tempts us to not work on our relationships. Every good marriage requires good work. (See the Book: Friends, Partners & Lovers–What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work)
    Spoiling kids at the expense of the family budget. We want our kids to have the best. One of the great joys of parenting is providing experiences for them that they enjoy. However, many parents do not have the ability to tell their children “no.” They continually provide things for their kids that are not necessary and that greatly restricts the family’s budget (as well as the time they spend together). Telling our kids “we can’t afford it” feels like failure. We think we have let them down. Yet telling our kids the truth is vital to good parenting. They may not appreciate it at the moment, but it will help teach them good financial stewardship in the long-run. Money might be complicated, but it really can be narrowed down to these simply 85 words.
    Ignoring the spiritual component of marriage. Do you want to hurt your marriage? Stop attending church. It seems disconnected, but there is a direct connection between spiritual involvement and marital satisfaction. I regularly notice that as couples stop serving in their church and then stop attending worship, they are more likely to get divorced. It doesn’t happen overnight, but slowly over time their relationship struggles. This happens for many reasons, but one of the main connections is the fact that marriage has an eternal purpose. God designed marriage. It helps us better know Him and it helps us to make Him known. When we ignore the spiritual component of marriage, we hinder our marriages. (See: Let God Guide Your Marriage)
    Not intentionally surrounding themselves with strong examples. They say one of the greatest indicators of whether or not you will gain weight next year is whether or not your friends gain weight. Our friends greatly influence us. It’s true in weight and it’s true in marriage. Far too many couples never consider that divorce is often contagious. They fail to see the role their friends play in their own marriage. One of the greatest things you can do for your marriage is to surround yourself with others who take marriage seriously, work to improve their relationship, and model a strong marriage. In part, this may be why distancing yourself from church or small groups hurts your marriage. Oftentimes, the church is a great resource to meet other couples who value marriage. Every married person would greatly benefit if they were in regular contact with others who have strong marriages. It would challenge and encourage them resulting in a better relationship. (See: Every Couple Needs a Couple)

    An Another Note
    https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/02/13/8-facts-about-love-and-marriage/

  62. theredpillnewb

    “Was the picture in the post of Cory the Alpha Buda? If so, can we revisit what it means to be Alpha?”

    You’re probably just confused about what you think “Alpha” means…

    Alpha is as Alpha does… when one stops acting ‘Alpha” one ceases to “be” Alpha. Alpha is not a cliff vesting, or a certification that attained once is forever, like a college degree.

    Cory was Alpha because he displayed Alpha traits… when he stopped doing this, he stopped being Alpha. It’s a continuous recertification… File under B for “Burden”…

    [what “Alpha” is… https://newlyaloof.wordpress.com/2016/12/02/sentients-dynamic-passionate-authentic-framework/ ]

    OG Cory… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=968yNvFiVH0

    And yes that Leila is so bangable…

  63. @ Rugby

    Your mental point of origin and frame…..

    Is best for your and her frame. She will be grateful and thank you in order for her best interest. Make order out of chaos for yourself, and enjoy the mystery of the feminine. It ensures complementary-ness. Otherwise your post begs for equalism. That is not normal order. It makes you and her neutered. Don’t do that. It is boring. And things will go downhill, until flat-ness. Order + mystery = liveliness with masculine/feminine polarity and preserves the erotic component in an LTR. A necessary component, which is implicit in a STR. Unease is normal in relationships. So get comfortable with that. And resolve cognitive dissonance, that is the way of the red pill, coming out of blue pill and AFC-ness.

  64. Speaking of making order out of chaos. That was Jordan B. Peterson’s purpose and mission. And so he worked on that to tame the demons in his head. Over and over. And it worked for a while. Until something happened. And then chaos ensued. And he tried to medicate it. And then got hooked on cheat code medicines. And then ended up in rehab. (Not that there is anything wrong with that.)

    But you can’t have all order, all the time. You have to have the strength, courage, mastery and honor to face uncertainly. And make peace with marriage or un-marriage.

    Cognitive dissonance: the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change.

  65. SJF
    I know action over words i was joking with the GIF’s thing. Been dating this women in a way but my frame is weak and my mindset could use some updates in the when i find the image links ill shoot you over where i was in the mouth of June.

    Palmasailor
    Was pulling an all night shift the girl im interested in wants to climb mt rainer with me. Not sure i can get married i love women and we need them to copy are genes but it seems women want marriage more than men because they can use the law and faiths of the culture to their advantage.

  66. @SJF

    You must see the irony here. The guy we’ve been calling the ALPHA BUDDAH turns out to be a beta loser with zero game. At a minimum there is some rich irony to this.

    Because let’s be honest….we all see the irony that the male romantic interests in Eat Prey Love and Stella Got Her Grove Back turn out to be frauds using the old hags for their citizenship.

    So a little bit of self reflection and a good laugh is deserved at least!

  67. @Rabbi

    What you’re describing is simply society placing limits on a woman’s natural hypergamous nature. The orthodox jewish community shuns promiscuity and jewish women know that doing so would ostracize them from their friends and family. There is tremendous pressure placed on orthodox jewish women to get married and have children young. Where I live it is common for them to be married between the ages of 17 and 20 and have children immediately. Given this, there is no opportunity for young women to ride the cock carousel or even optimize for Alpha Fucks and Beta Bucks. Plus, their options are limited because they are not even presented with a boy their rabbi and parents don’t pre-approve. So yes, orthodox jews are getting married.

    Would I want to be an orthodox jew? Jesus Christ no! 🙂

  68. Theredpillnewb

    “The guy we’ve been calling the ALPHA BUDDAH turns out to be a beta loser with zero game.”

    It should serve as a cautionary tale. Not a big mystery that someplace along the line Corey was no longer the MPoO for Corey.

    Divorce courts have been full of the formerly Alpha. Emphasis on formerly. Ever see what happens when the HS Jock gets the homecoming queen and they get married?

    [File under Betaization]

  69. https://therationalmale.com/2019/09/19/unmarriageable/comment-page-3/#comment-281924

    @constrainedlocus

    Thanks for breaking it down. That sounds about right, every woman is a star in her own TV show where everybody else is a cast for her own benefit. On global level you have a matrix of TV shows manipulating Men and other women and the reason the matrix hasn’t collapsed is because of blindness of Men to sacrifice everything for a occasional “cookie for a good boy”.

    G

  70. The JBP rehab left me thinking that no man is truly immune to hardship, he seemed to have most of his stuff sorted out.

    Just goes to show the journey is never complete for a man.

  71. Some of us are blaming modern men for women’s marital rancor. No. The problem is that masculine agency –as well as the requirements for its healthy evolution — has been institutionally devalued for some 50 years. As soon as you develop the dexterity to piss standing up, the village starts lecturing you about toxic masculinity. Girls are better listeners — they are our nation’s real leaders. Wouldn’t it be nice if they were in charge instead of those mean boys? Enjoy your Disney, kids! THIS one is about a super smart and funny girl and a super dumb and daffy boy. She’s a princess — HE has to prove himself to HER. On and on and on.

    Then come the state-sanctioned stimulants that bombard your kid’s limbic system with cortisol and brute-force compliance. And you’d better make sure he takes them religiously; otherwise, we can’t guarantee his continued enrollment in our prestigious institution. (Trust me, I’ve been there myself. But who wouldn’t scribble dicks on their desks after having to study Susan B Anthony AGAIN.) My mom agreed to medicating me, but it wasn’t her fault. Like most women, she’s susceptible to moneyed consensus. She was worried about her son because three men in suits told her there was a problem. She was only trying to do what’s right, in spite of herself.

    Highschool and college address the kinks that the aforementioned couldn’t. It’s an aquarium of buzzword bukkake juices — so grow sperm gills or drown. You have to sit through HOURS of parlor games SJW professors invented to convince themselves of their own intelligence. You’re expected to regurgitate their opinions on command. Less incisive students (if they haven’t already) buy into it; meanwhile, the more perceptive ones often lose hope. They resign themselves to living in a world of self-censorship, self-flagellation, and self-abnegation. With a feigned smile. But that’s okay. It doesn’t have to be authentic

    I have to stop myself from laughing when I hear 55-year-old people telling 25-year-old men to “buck up.” “Get your ass in gear — I did it in my time. Yeah? Well, in regards to “bucking up,” I suspect that gravity is a little stronger today than 40 or so years ago, if you know what I mean. That’s not to say a man doesn’t warrant the rare fire under his ass; typically, though, that’s something earnestly delivered by his compatriots. Sans the boomer sanctimony. Oh, delivery me lord from sanctimony. It is the weapon of our enemies and men should never use it.

  72. @Gorgeous George

    WHO = your personality, quirks, likes/dislikes, favourites, feelings, thoughts, dreams, fears, happiness, doubts

    She doesn’t care about all of that. She might pretend to be interested, but only as a way to make you ask her what shes interested in, which is what she really cares about.

  73. @foxguy

    Nobody here ever really liked JBP except rugby. He was like a seam busting on the misandric titanic. He only dated his wife, she has bigger arms than him, and he was handing advice out like Good’n’plenty on Halloween.

    There’s Successful alpha, Unsuccessful alpha, Successful Beta, and Unsuccessful Beta.

    There’s also the rest of the status hierarchy and the many geeks that claim it doesn’t exists.

    You can have a thought that can be the thought of an alpha. But you can fail to become such an alpha.

  74. @foxguy

    “She wanted to know what I did for a living, I always told her I washed and vacuumed cars. She knew it was bullshit but she liked the fact I wasn’t going to play the income game with her either way, testing. I was at a table with another group of guys and the waitress asked us what we did for a living , I responded we bag dog food for a living laughing, she understood straight away my point but almost all the guys got annoyed because they just don’t get it.”

    Nice. Well done.

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