Unmarriageable

This week there’ve been a rash of articles all outlining the latest statistics about marriage in this decade. US marriage rates are at a 150 year low and, if you believe the all-female article writers, it’s of course men’s fault for failing to be marriageable. These articles are referencing a study published last week titled Mismatches in the Marriage Market and this study reveals large deficits in the supply of potential male spouses. One implication is that the unmarried may remain unmarried or marry less well‐suited partners.

That’s right gentlemen, you’re unmarriageable and the ladies want you to shape up. If you want to experience marital bliss – despite all the inherent personal dangers for men in today’s “marriage economy” – you must make yourself “economically attractive“:

“Most American women hope to marry, but current shortages of marriageable men — men with a stable job and a good income — make this increasingly difficult,” says lead author Daniel Lichter in a press release.

The stats don’t lie and they are pretty bleak. More women are enrolled in college than ever before and more are expected to enter through the middle of the coming decade. Now, a degree doesn’t guarantee a woman a job, and it says nothing about the majors and job sectors women prefer, but a college education does reinforce the idea that women are entitled to marry an economically attractive man who himself has an education and enough aspiration to make something of himself to become marriageable.

That’s some real shit right there and we’re not even half way through this post. We’ve gotten to the point where the truth of the past five decades is apparent; gendered politics has actively, openly, disadvantaged men in terms of education. Whether this hobbling of men is via educational dispensations (Title IX) or social conventions (divorce, child support, Duluth model feminism) the outcome is now unignorable.

In most western societies today there is a separate standard of justice that applies to women. Women are receive far fewer consequences and are sentenced much more leniently than men for committing the exact same crimes. These are easily proven statistics, but even when they are brought to light the gynocentric social order doubles down and justifies them because, women.

My intent here today isn’t to depress anyone. Neither am I drawing attention to this because I’ve made a new turn to the Men Rights Movement. No doubt there’ve been many article already written about the female hubris inherent in these revelations – revelations the Red Pill community has been pointing out for almost two decades now.

The manifestations of about 50 years of social changes produced by a feminine-primary social order are unignorable. Even mainstream media sources are finally seeing these stories as the red meat du jour for the masses now. A lot of the Red Pill principles and I and many other men in the Manosphere have been drawing attention to about intersexual dynamics are now coming to light in popular consciousness.

Aww Quit Complaining

Last year I delivered the State of the Manosphere Address, and in that talk I outlined the rise of what I saw as a new Gender War (or gender cold war). Naturally I was called a reactionary, and have been since described as “overly negative” even by the organization that asked me to deliver that speech. But yet, everything in that outline has come to pass in less than a year. Of course, the easy dismissal is to blame this on election year propaganda. More than one mainstream talkshow conservative has jumped on the Toxic Masculinity bandwagon, pointing out how the Left and mainstream feminism are one and the same.

However, there have been many swings of the political pendulum in the past 50 years. Conservative zeitgeists have contributed to the same feminine-primary social order that’s resulted in men being unmarriageable today. It’s just been good politics to appeal to the Feminine Imperative no matter what side of the political aisle you happen to sit on.

But I’m a man. I’m not supposed to be overly concerned with issues like this. As long as I’m measuring up to my Burden of Performance any marginal raising-of-awareness to truths like the ones above make me seem like I’m complaining. And that’s something men are never allowed to do. It’s a very effective way of silencing men. Get them to feel like they ought to silence themselves. Real men don’t complain.

Meanwhile, it’s Broke Men who are hurting American Women’s Marriage Prospects. My good friend Dalrock once wrote a series of post around the idea that feminism would be so much more successful if men would only cooperate with it. When women are unable to optimally complete their mating (and life’s) strategies it’s men’s fault for being uncooperative. It’s men’s fault when women’s life plans don’t come together as Sheryl Sandberg told them it would. It’s men’s fault when they won’t play the approved role they should when women hit their Epiphany Phase and their sexual priorities shift.

Confirming the Red Pill

If you needed a better illustration of the Solipsism inherent in women’s nature you’ll be hard pressed to find it on a bigger scale than the dozens of stories bemoaning the lack of marriageable men today. Furthermore, it goes to prove another Red Pill truth: as a man, women don’t care who you are as much as what you are. I’ve taken a lot of heat over the years over my assessment of how men and women have different concepts of love. Men love idealistically. I rarely get any pushback on that assertion, but when I layout how women’s Hypergamous natures predispose them to a concept of love based on opportunism men and women lose their minds.

Yet, here we are. Women enthusiastically proving my point for me without me having to do any heavy lifting. As women become more comfortable in Open Hypergamy we see this embracing of their nature proudly flaunted. Naturally women will double down on this.

Of course women don’t wanna marry no bum!

And then the Trad-Cons join the chorus,

It’s men’s fault they aren’t measuring up to being the men all women are entitled to.

There are dozens of studies that correlate divorce with women earning more than their husbands. In fact, women are reluctant to admit that they out-earn their husbands. Throughout the history of this blog I’ve shown the evolved reasons for this dynamic, but what the articles all dance around is women’s natural evolutionary desire for men who exceed them in all aspects. But because we’ve opted to believe in, and standardized on, social constructionism we lay all of that on “societal expectations” of men and women. In a future essay I’ll be defining how the cope of humans being ‘above it all’ in their evolved instincts is the root source of many deliberate misgivings about intersexual conflict. For now, understand that blaming any inconvenient intersexual truth on a nebulous “society” is the go-to rationale for a feminine-primary social order.

If only men would evolve and rise above what society foists on them we women would be happy” versus “Men need to accommodate women’s success by making themselves more ‘economically desirable’

And “Oh, but love is important too, *wink wink*.”

“Many young men today have little to bring to the marriage bargain, especially as young women’s educational levels on average now exceed their male suitors’,” Lichter says.

It’s interesting that some articles advocate for marriage as a “stabilizing force” in society, all while never (maybe deliberately) seeing the economic risks of disaster that the divorce industry incentivizes in women. There’s nothing stabilizing about promoting marriage between men you’ve deemed “economically unattractive” and women who feel entitled to a man who exceeds their Hypergamous expectations. There’s nothing ‘stabilizing’ about the incidence of divorce between couples where the man is unable to out-earn his wife.

Naturally we want to make this a ‘his‘ problem. He can’t get over the fact that she makes more, has more education, etc. He’s insecure in his masculinity and must feel threatened by Her success. Or it could be the fact that on an instinctual level he understands that it’s an evolved imperative for a man to provide for and protect his family. This is the fallacy of Rise Above It. No matter how enlightened and progressive we’d like to think we are nature drags us back to reality. It’s not a socially constructed problem – if it were it would be easily solved – it’s a human nature problem. Women reveal the true Hypergamous nature in articles like these. They want a man who they can naturally look up to, respect and admire. That’s the natural truth coming out, but they source the problem in a socially constructed fantasy that it’s men’s insecurities that are holding them back from completing women’s mating/life strategies.

Women don’t need to get married anymore. The average age of first marriage is hovering around 27 years old for most couples. Studies also show that more than half of young people in America don’t have a romantic partner. We’ve all but eliminated the Beta Bucks side of the Hypergamous equation for women. Open Hypergamy (and Open Cuckoldry) are the logical outcomes of this provisioning insurance we’ve made ubiquitous for women over the last 40 years. Yet, women still want to be married to a man who outclasses them in all areas of life. They feel they deserve that guy. Their hindbrain knows they do, but the nebulous society still encourages women to believe there’s never been a better time for them to be single. This is the message women are being fed as they complain about men’s not living up to being their “equals”.

Nearly half of working-age women will be single in 2030, a new Morgan Stanley study predicts, a demographic that will drive increased sales for companies in the athletic wear, cosmetics and clothing sectors.

The investment bank’s “Rise of the SHEconomy” report says 45 percent of working-age women between 25 and 44 in the U.S. will be single women in 10 years, Forbes reported.

Single women will drive the economy in the next decade and savvy businesses are already planning on exploiting this demographic. But yet it’s men’s fault for not being marriageable and/or avoiding marriage altogether?

Too many people think I’m down on marriage. Apparently 23 years of what most guys would consider an ideal marriage isn’t enough to convince them. Honestly, as an institution – socially enforced monogamy – I think marriage, based on evolved gender difference complementarity has been the foundation of the success of western culture. But maybe we’re at a turning point in human history where traditional marriage is left behind, replaced by feminine-primary polygamy with all its inherently violent risks. It seems we’re heading in a direction where we convince Beta men it’s in their reproductive interests to abandon their evolved need to be invested in their own paternity – and that attending to and raising the children of men that women selected before them makes them ‘better men’.

There’s a lot more to the anti-marriage reasoning than just the “losing half my stuff” arguments.

It really sucks for a guy like me who’s managed to make a Red Pill aware marriage work in spite of all this. Guys get confused. How can I be anti-marriage and still married? But it’s just that dichotomy that tells the you about the nature of what marriage has become for men today. The way we do marriage today has the potential to be the most damaging decision a man can make in his life. It may even end his life. But despite all that I still believe men and women are better together than we are apart. We still evolved to be complements to the other.

It’s the coming together and living together, and all the downside risks to men today that I have no solution for at the moment. Maybe it’s going to take a war or a meteor striking the earth to set gender parity back in balance, but at the moment there’s only a future of sexual segregation to look forward to.

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Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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rugby11
8 months ago

It’s hard to compliment marriage/birth for ones-self…
https://www.instagram.com/p/BbymatLB4hb/
trust Frame and self composure

j
j
8 months ago

“She doesn’t care about all of that. She might pretend to be interested, but only as a way to make you ask her what shes interested in, which is what she really cares about.”

Kinda like how we pretend to care about all that stuff to get in their pants 😋

theasdgamer
8 months ago

“WHO = your personality, quirks, likes/dislikes, favourites, feelings, thoughts, dreams, fears, happiness, doubts

She doesn’t care about all of that”

…until she does…AFTER you have demonstrated high value…but she enjoys peeling the onion…so you don’t reveal too much about yourself too quickly…and you space it out…a layer at a time…while making sure that you continue to demonstrate high value…and you always retain some mystery…because high value men retain mystery…and a capacity for violence…

ht Ton

theasdgamer
8 months ago

Who gives a shit about Christina Perry? Who listens to her shit?

theasdgamer
8 months ago

“Kinda like how we pretend to care about all that stuff to get in their pants “

…young men who are new to high levels of testosterone, maybe…the older guys talk to girls to vet them…

…ever heard of setting a performance bar for girls? Testing them to see if they have any training? Testing girls to see if they are feral? Talking to girls to find out if they are drunk?

rugby11
8 months ago

Try or fail or fail and try
https://www.instagram.com/p/jqH1rvq3EH/
Taking Notes from the site,,,
https://www.instagram.com/p/XvwDP_K3MP/

If-I-Fell
If-I-Fell
8 months ago

@ Anonymous Reader “To fix the existing band would cost about $1X. Problem solved right there. Why all that other drama necessary?” The drama was absolutely necessary. I married a very unusual woman–but good unusual. She wanted a 3-stone ring. Female T-Rex needs to shop and get the best price. Wife feels she needs husband’s approval (multiple approvals) to make the purchase–which was sort of like me purchasing it for her. In fact, purchasing this on her own would made it meaningless to her. The combination of factors spiked her emotions. The general point was that all concubines and many… Read more »

theasdgamer
8 months ago

Yeah, there’s an impostor posting as if he were me.

bluepillprofessor
8 months ago

I felt and thought almost all of these things when I read that article. Sometimes I myself sometimes find myself praying for St. Meteor to bring back gender parity, or at least the cleansing fire that has been promised.

Perhaps one solution is to be more sanguine about sexual segregation? Unlike the feminine primacy of modern society, separating the sexes has increased and maintained productivity in many successful and long lasting societies.

Softek
Softek
8 months ago

Dark times indeed. Men and women both are too quick to judge men who have given up. There are plenty of men who are dead because for them, giving up meant committing suicide. Safe to say they are beyond caring what other people think of them at this point. Looking at “intrinsic motivation” as if it’s some kind of entity that exists in complete isolation from the environment…I disagree with that idea. Strongly. Survivorship Bias makes it seem like just because some men were able to overcome their circumstances, that anyone can do it, and if they don’t, the responsibility… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
8 months ago

Whoa.

Heavy.

Disagree with most of it, but heavy still.

Wondering if I should even wade in….

Cus, huh?

It’s not what you think it was.

Many things in life aren’t.

SJF
SJF
8 months ago

@Softek

What’s with the rant?

What are you trying to say in a couple sentences? What are you getting at? Tickets to other planets=escapism. What is happening on the ground with you Major Tom?

I take it your needs are not being met.

How can you work towards that end goal?

Do you need real guy friends?

Blaximus
Blaximus
8 months ago

BluePillProf “I felt and thought almost all of these things when I read that article. Sometimes I myself sometimes find myself praying for St. Meteor to bring back gender parity, or at least the cleansing fire that has been promised. Perhaps one solution is to be more sanguine about sexual segregation? Unlike the feminine primacy of modern society, separating the sexes has increased and maintained productivity in many successful and long lasting societies.” I want to ask you a serious question, no kidding around, and I’d appreciate a serious answer – thanks. I have a very hard time grasping what… Read more »

Yollo Comanche
Yollo Comanche
8 months ago

@Blaximus

My father admitted to me the other day what I always knew. That the reason he never supported anything I did was because he resented that I’d have an opportunity to live a different life than him.

How many other men have such a relationship with their fathers? Employers? Employees?

tucsonrazorbacks
8 months ago
Reply to  Softek

Excellent commentary and points. I’d add that not all of us were born with Alpha dads either. We make fun of George Douglas McFly, the father of Marty (Michael J Fox’s) character. But in reality, George may have been portrayed as a bonafide nerdy geeky goofball weakling, but in reality, his ability to become a providing engineer or medical technician may have been a valuable asset and attribute for surviving and living modestly upper middle-class. Education is good. And albeit he was no alpha male, he provided for his family and was seen as valued male, perhaps not high-value, but… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
8 months ago

“How many other men have such a relationship with their fathers? Employers? Employees?’

At some point it has to stop mattering. It’s a part of adulthood.

I love my dad, and he was a great dad, but around age 20-21, it didn’t matter to me what he thought about anything I was doing. Not out of a hateful feeling, but out of understanding that I had to stand on my own 2 feet and live my life because I couldn’t live anyone else’s.

SJF
SJF
8 months ago

@Yollo “My father admitted to me the other day what I always knew. That the reason he never supported anything I did was because he resented that I’d have an opportunity to live a different life than him.” How has this affected you? I pushed back against my father early. And he left me to my own devices. Which was a wise thing to do. We differed. But it wasn’t a problem. I almost made the mistake of doing the same to my son. Leaving him to his own devices. And he turned out fine. A guy shouldn’t let his… Read more »

SJF
SJF
8 months ago

“I love my dad, and he was a great dad, but around age 20-21, it didn’t matter to me what he thought about anything I was doing. Not out of a hateful feeling, but out of understanding that I had to stand on my own 2 feet and live my life because I couldn’t live anyone else’s.” Nice. I wasn’t able to go back and edit my last comment to say: I loved my father after 20-21. He was actually a great role model. The thing to do is to not have your father have bullshit expectations of you. Especially… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
8 months ago

Softek

Yollo Comanche
Yollo Comanche
8 months ago

@Blaximus

But our fathers aren’t supposed to be our adversaries. When they are, there is a cause. What is the cause?

Blaximus
Blaximus
8 months ago

“But our fathers aren’t supposed to be our adversaries…..”

Says who?

The ” cause ” is ” man “.

Men can do the most amazingly wonderful shit, they can also be the most nightmarish humans on the planet. It’s the nature of the beast.

You play the ball where it lies.

foxguy
foxguy
8 months ago

Softek, I feel you brother, I’ve been there some years ago. Intrinsic motivation is the real deal man, when you are intrinsically motivated things just flow. I’ll give you an example I am intrinsically motivated to exercise, for me exercise is a positive thing and it’s not hard at all. I used to be extrinsically motivated to go to my corporate job, I have been shedding all extrinsic motivation as of late and now it is excruciating to have to sit in a cubicle everyday, it’s draining.You need to search deep within yourself. You gotta apply a red pill filter… Read more »

SJF
SJF
8 months ago

“But our fathers aren’t supposed to be our adversaries. When they are, there is a cause. What is the cause?”

The cause is not your care. Just recognizing and ditching unhealthy fatherly expectations is your goal.

It could be poor ego investments of the father. It could be Oedipus complex.

It doesn’t matter.

A man must love his father and yet be
free of his father’s expectations and
criticisms in order to be a free man. –Deida

Blaximus
Blaximus
8 months ago

Yollo Thinking about what you’re saying. I don’t know if my father felt any kind of way about whether I surpassed him at anything in life or not. He gave me an immense set of life tools and just unleashed me. And, he did it while he was still a fairly young man. He’d challenge me, but I don’t see it as adversarial. From a young age I understood how he grew up/was raised, and I was a child of the 60’s when shit was changing at breakneck speed. At points we saw things very differently, but his attitude was… Read more »

Yollo Comanche
Yollo Comanche
8 months ago

@SJF My relationship with my father affected me profoundly because for the longest time I never got to be my own person around him. My mother constantly belittled me in order to try to keep me from abandoning her as I got older. He was the never-happy employer. “Huwhy cantcha dew anythang right???” “Hee Hee, he sure is wierd isnt he??? Haw Haw!…..hey hey wait come back I got more stupid bullshit to tell yew about ‘im!!!111” Then, as if nothing happened; “Hey son wanna go fishing?” Still-not-18: “Not really.” “Well gawrsh fuck it then, stay home.” It took a… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
8 months ago

Softek

“no history of positive influences, and no history of success, to just magically pull themselves up off the ground and become descendants of Don Draper?”

Draper’s mom was a prostitute who died birthing him. His dad was an abusive drunk, dirt poor farmer who died when he was six. His stepmother then moved to a brothel where he was raised.

His advice?

“I have a life, and it only goes in one direction: forward.” – Don Draper (Season 1, Episode 5)

Blaximus
Blaximus
8 months ago

Magic?

Magic is an illusion.

Sentient
Sentient
8 months ago

Yollo

“How many other men have such a relationship with their fathers?”

Haha. Well my dad resented me for much of my life, my birth was the death of his dreams and freedoms at 19. Growing up smarter, taller and better looking didnt help. Nor making bank more than him.

But we have a relationship now. It is what it is. He’s him and I’m me. As Blax says, once you are out of the house it really doesn’t matter at all. You have to do you at that point and move on.

Yollo Comanche
Yollo Comanche
8 months ago

Funny how Don’s backstory reads like a PUA’s DHV spike.

Yollo Comanche
Yollo Comanche
8 months ago

@Sentient

Hilarious. Not THAT hilarious. But hilarious.

theasdgamer
8 months ago

@foxguy & @softek “I’ll give you an example I am intrinsically motivated to exercise, for me exercise is a positive thing and it’s not hard at all.” not me…I am intrinsically motivated to sit on my ass and play chess…for me, chess is easy…but today I worked my ass off at the gym because I know I need it…in fact, I did five sets of deadlifts instead of my previous number, which was three. And I still did reverse extensions to exercise my lower back. Working my ass off. Literally. Then I took care of the baby, which always involves… Read more »

The Silver FoX
The Silver FoX
8 months ago

@ Softek “…If you really want to make a difference in mens’ life, you have to go out of your way to forge a connection with someone who needs it. Someone in your actual community who you can spend time with in-person, and make a real difference to…” Totally agree with you. That was an excellent, very brave post. Seems the point was missed by some long time commenters here, which surprised me. ‘The Way of Men’ by Jack Donovan is all about being in a gang of men and finding your place and earning respect. Everyone here should read… Read more »

j
j
8 months ago

“Growing up smarter, taller and better looking didnt help. Nor making bank more than him.”

funny. my old man actually has zero resentment toward me for having these qualities (blackpill: when your tall, good looking, and in shape with a good personality, people don’t really care that you’re not economically attractive). He proudly shows me off to his friends. But I figure its because your guys fathers were pure alphas. And hate the fact that someone is better than them.

SJF
SJF
8 months ago

Fox @ Softek “…If you really want to make a difference in mens’ life, you have to go out of your way to forge a connection with someone who needs it. Someone in your actual community who you can spend time with in-person, and make a real difference to…” Totally agree with you. That was an excellent, very brave post. Seems the point was missed by some long time commenters here, which surprised me. ‘The Way of Men’ by Jack Donovan is all about being in a gang of men and finding your place and earning respect. Everyone here should… Read more »

Yollo Comanche
Yollo Comanche
8 months ago

@Blaximus

Your father probably wanted to be a father. Mines just had nothing else to do once he got married. Everything just sort of happened to him, especially me having questions for him during life.

Blaximus
Blaximus
8 months ago

Facts.

theasdgamer
8 months ago

@SJF “Like he makes his hurdles be high, instead of low, mindset wise.” Yep. Making mountains out of molehills. Reading his screed almost made me want to slit my wrists. XD Very depressing, from a particular viewpoint. Thank God it’s not my viewpoint. I’m solo without male friends I see regularly, because of my temporary lifestyle. Waiting for Daughter Gamer to choose an employer so that we can sink roots instead of being gypsies or hebrews (“wanderers”). (DG has an interview tomorrow in our current location. Two offers so far from other prospective employers.) But our family is close, so… Read more »

Softek
Softek
8 months ago

@Palma I posted two extensive comments multiple times in response to your posts addressed to me but the blog ate my posts and they wouldn’t go through. I tried multiple times. Not my fault. But obviously there’s no way you could know that. I had one field report I never put up. I have issues closing. It’s like hitting a wall. Had a girl in my lap feeling me up and I just shut off. I didn’t feel anxiety at all. Just inhibition. Had a small routine I ran on her most of the night that seemed to work OK.… Read more »

TT
TT
8 months ago

@TheAsdGamer Women don’t live in the content. They live in the context. What they say actually doesn’t matter. Spoken language is a reflection of the conscious. The conscious is what your ego knows, or most likely what it imagines. The more deceptive someone (or some gender, or people) is, the more self-deceptive they will be, because deception without the aid of self-deception works very poorly indeed. The more self-deceptive someone is, the more their conscious diverges from their actuality. Women, except someone like the authoress of The Manipulated Man, are unable to be sincere even if they wish so. One… Read more »

Softek
Softek
8 months ago

@ SJF re: “whinging” Strange. Very strange. I was reading an article today that talked about men and complaining. Part of the article read like this: “But I’m a man. I’m not supposed to be overly concerned with issues like this. As long as I’m measuring up to my Burden of Performance any marginal raising-of-awareness to truths like the ones above make me seem like I’m complaining. And that’s something men are never allowed to do. It’s a very effective way of silencing men. Get them to feel like they ought to silence themselves. Real men don’t complain.” I am… Read more »

Softek
Softek
8 months ago

@ Silver Fox

Thank you. That really means everything to me. Your response gets at the heart of what I was trying to organize with my thoughts when I wrote that comment. I will listen to that podcast shortly. I’ve sifted through the text and that is exactly the sentiment I was trying to get at. I would agree that everyone should check that podcast out. It also dovetails perfectly with what Rollo has been talking about in these recent articles. Relevant. Extremely.

The Silver FoX
The Silver FoX
8 months ago

@ Softek I empathise with your dilemma of being able to game girls but then shut down when it’s time to close. Perhaps the issue might be that you’re putting too much pressure on yourself to “close” when really it’s the women who choose the men they fuck in the end. It’s often about just not fucking it up when you have spiked their interest. So if you’re having fun flirting and playing with girls as you’ve described, they seem to be interested in you, so just keep it chill and move them to your place or theirs and go… Read more »

Morpheus
8 months ago

Softek,

Do some research on the supplement Phenibut which is actually a drug in other countries. I’ve used it sporadically when I really want to turn any anxiety off. Warning, it can be addictive so you have to keep the use of it very infrequently. The YouTuber More Plates More Dates has some good vids on it.

Roused
8 months ago

@Softek Thanks for sharing all that. Sometimes it helps working through depression or anxiety to just unload. Better to unload here with guys than to unload a slug from the barrel of a gun, right? I’m happy for you that you’re getting some professional help. You have to start somewhere and it seems like you know what some of your issues are. More will become clearer as you move through the process of depression. I am no expert, but saw first hand what happened with my son who has gone from suicidal to holding down a job, enrolling himself in… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
8 months ago

Good stuff Roused.

rugby11
8 months ago

Softek https://time.com/4486812/wwii-kiss-photo-vj-day/ Yeah no man an island No matter how intense thing’s get something can be learned and appreciated about it. Age and men haven’t ever been easy but the struggle is a reflection of are self’s. Since when has it been easy? Yeah i know the suicide thing isn’t going down anytime soon and if anything thing’s are going to get more intense and stressful and perhaps harder to manage. But their is always choice and crafting an environment within yourself that you actually want to live in and express in the world of your own imagination. That’s one… Read more »

theasdgamer
8 months ago

@Softek

“But when it comes time to close it’s like a switch flips in my brain. I didn’t feel panic or anxiety at all, just like my body shut off.”

Try wargaming that situation in advance…first, the physical situation, second, what you would be feeling inside, third, the inhibition trying to shut you down, fourth, mental steps that you take to defeat the inhibition and push through, and fifth, how you would feel at the end of the night.

Softek
Softek
8 months ago

@ all Wow, thanks for all the support. I feel awkward accepting it but I appreciate it. In return I do want to do my best to become an inspiration and show that even with severe mental issues/hangups and shitty past experiences, a man can change his life into a Red Pill one and start getting some satisfaction. Thanks, I appreciate it, really. I got a good night of sleep last night which is also something I’ve been sorely missing. Even posting on here late at night was a mistake. I really have to commit to a sleep routine as… Read more »

kfg
kfg
8 months ago

“And the great problem, of course, with so many subjects of the arts and sciences is that obfuscation is part of the package. The most obvious example is sociology, which is like medieval theology. It can only be taught in Latin. At the moment you translate it, it becomes an absurdity.”

— Dr. David Starkey CBE

Sentient
Sentient
8 months ago

Softek

Any exercises, mental or physical, that can help, I’m all ears.

At MMSL this book was highly rated. https://www.risingmaster.com/lasting-longer-by-dr-sy-silverberg/

Essentially it’s about reflex control. If you can control your bladder to not piss yourself, you can control your ejaculation reflex.

Or just wear a condom…

On the jerking off bit. Jeez… seems like 80% of the manosphere is spending their time jerking off… Not a good look.

Blaximus
Blaximus
8 months ago

…. stop shaming Sentient.

lol.

Softek
Softek
8 months ago

@ Sentient Thanks. I’ll check that out. Used condoms 95% of the time, even in a monogamous relationship, still had the issue recurring, condoms didn’t seem to make any difference at all. In medical school they teach “Point and Shoot” to remember Parasympathetic vs. Sympathetic nervous system. There is something going on there. @ Blax The shame thing is interesting. I actually don’t think it’s helpful. The real key is having a shame-free mentality about sex. Masturbation is a result of shame and withdrawal that keeps men from having sex. No man would resort to masturbation if they truly felt… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
8 months ago

It was a joke.

Sentient
Sentient
8 months ago

We are in a post-shame environment. Shame goes hand in hand with self respect. we are in a post-self-respect environment.

Guys don’t respect themselves enough to stop jerking it instead of saying – damn it, I’m getting some or dying tryin’.

This “Better to plant your seed in the belly of a whore than spill it on the ground, and all that. ”

Not the issue. Onan was trying to cheat his brother’s wife out of inheritance if she bore a male from him.

Softek
Softek
8 months ago

@Blax

I had to re-read it. And then re-read it again.

I get it now. That it was a joke. I’m a little touchy I guess. Triggered flashbacks of nightmares about Jesus dressed up as Pinhead from Hellraiser nailing me to a cross and casting me into the lake of flames for accidentally arousing myself while taking a shower that one time.

He told me that after 2,000 years there would be the second cumming and I would be absolved of my sins though. Hope springs eternal

Softek
Softek
8 months ago

@ Sentient

I never thought of it like that before: that it’s about self-respect. Never thought of it like that even once. Interesting.

Blaximus
Blaximus
8 months ago

” drop your cocks and grab your socks ”

every drill sergeant that ever lived.

having a bad day
having a bad day
8 months ago

@Novaseeker (Blaximus bluepillprofessor) -27!!!?… (at the last time i checked… it might be different now…lol) wow, dude… did you touch a nerve or what?…lol i wasn’t going to address your ‘rant’ (which i thought was actually an interesting pov btw…lol), bc i’m tooo busy… but since Blaximus is ‘confused’ (lol), i will… just for pedantic thoroughness…and to help a brother out…lol this seems to be your main focus… “Sorry, but the problem isn’t women — the problem is men. Women are fine. Women have simply adapted to the changed culture and context — a context which allows women full reproductive… Read more »

theasdgamer
7 months ago

@HABD I have no problem with “shaming language” (which itself is shaming language, btw 🙂 ), because it’s just a swift kick in the pants to draw attention to a lack of performance, which kick so many men need. (I have to say that I envy Nova for pinching so many nerves.) “the current system… (as a creation of the aggregated hindbrains of all girls (the FI or feminine primacy))… has pushed ALL men into that ‘individual effort for success’ (AF) standard… even as most men have NEVER been able to do that… can you see how this is the… Read more »

theasdgamer
7 months ago

“I never thought of it like that before: that it’s about self-respect. Never thought of it like that even once. Interesting.”

Lol, your wooden skull is really thick. I’ve been pushing self-respect for years. Be glad to be masculine!

Don’t get mad, get better!

theasdgamer
7 months ago

Palma raises an interesting point about feeling despised by the system. The system by and large has been modified by SJWs for years…SJWs hate profits and despise businessmen…SJWs assume that businessmen are automatically corrupt and must be punished…and govt. lackeys are often SJWs…

…wonder how I feel about govt. employees, lol?

Yollo Comanche
Yollo Comanche
7 months ago

@Blax Before I forget.

“Says who?”

Says Scrooge McDuck and the rest of the quackers that pass wealth on to their children.

Just Beers
Just Beers
7 months ago

@SJF “Someone asked upstream about ditching his mother’s influence. Only if she was a bitch and not in his best interests…Otherwise not. If she had a true mother’s love.” That was me. I’m surprised by this response. It sounds like a pedestal position for the mother. Mothers in today’s culture, without a mooring in a healthy traditional/communal upbringing (read: a continuation of the healthy feminine) are pulled in all sorts of directions that are anathema to raising boys in particular, but children in general. As we’ve all learned, mothers are still women, and they have a tough time doing the… Read more »

Centuries
Centuries
7 months ago

“PalmaSailor -As a housekeeping point for any young lurkers I don’t want you to “give up hope” get nihilistic. Whilst the system won’t allocate you “success” it is there to be taken if you have the right mindset.” Nice! I believe that with the knowledge and power that one acquires when taking the red pill, that the doors to a level of potential success in all aspects of life become even extremely elevated. In these times of decline of male value and inflated female value there are much more low hanging fruit to take. Now are the times for those… Read more »

Centuries
Centuries
7 months ago

The burden of PERFORMANCE for a MAN has never changed it is hardwired into the each and every male that is born – and will never change – and is instilled to each and every man with extreme prejudice.

The burden of REPRODUCTION for WOMEN has never changed it is hardwired into the each and every female that is born – and is instilled to each and every woman with extreme prejudice.

foxguy
foxguy
7 months ago

@Palma Good positive message, I’m about to embark on the entrepreneurial journey myself. I have been toying with the idea of doing it for years, reading the books etc. I’ve realized as of late I was just kidding myself, my nice cushy corporate job has been keeping me nice and comfortable and will I have amassed more coin than the average it’s lulled me into a life of nice and comfort which is not good. I’ve produced some very good solutions in my time that would have made me millions by now but because I produced them for my corporation… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
7 months ago

Foxguy “I’ve produced some very good solutions in my time that would have made me millions by now but because I produced them for my corporation I got a couple of thousand in bonuses :).” Tread carefully. I’ve witnessed a few guys “throw off the shackles” and dive into starting a business with a suicidal bent. That’s not the way… Of the “solutions” you developed – did you identify the problem? The market size? The specific clients who purchased it? Did you have the skills and capital base to deliver through the whole sales cycle? Lot’s of guys are good… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
7 months ago

Foxguy My own example. After quitting college and getting married in my early 20s I took the first job that came along with no thought at all other than “paycheck”. Basically a sales job in a very down market firm. After four months I had restructured the group I was assigned to amd basically explained to the president he should shut it down. The product was shit and we would never make money. This is something they had going for two years. He was impressed with my analysis. I had no idea what I was doing other than parsing out… Read more »

foxguy
foxguy
7 months ago

@Palma and @Sentient

Thank you both, I appreciate it. I’ll post my responses on field reports as suggested by Palma.

Sun Wukong
Sun Wukong
7 months ago

The vast majority of these “women” are graduating in to jobs that will shrink or disappear as automation takes over. The vast majority of people I see working with me in fields that are directly building automation are men. I suspect there will be a hard flip of power that will make the screeching for UBI far louder, particularly with a “BUT MUH WAMMEN!” narrative angle being pushed. If they don’t get it just imagine the power those few men with paychecks will hold. Then imagine wielding all that power and staring at your fat, tattooed, loud-mouthed, boorish options for… Read more »

scribblerg
scribblerg
7 months ago

What I don’t understand are the men who marry more than once. It’s like breaking back into jail…

liz
liz
7 months ago

I know someone who has been married (and divorced) five times.
(not a punchline…or perhaps it is a punchline. True, at any rate)

Höllenhund
7 months ago

@Novaseeker I never said “man up and marry the sluts”, unlike our English interloper who is normally rather copiously uninformed, suggests. What I said was that it is true that most men today are poor marriage candidates, and that is simply the truth. They would be better marriage candidates if they were better men — that does not mean they need to get married. It does mean, though, that women’s complaint would shift from being about a lack of good men to being that men will not commit — and that, brothers, is a paradigm shift that actually shifts power… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
7 months ago
das monde
das monde
7 months ago

Researches show that female brains age slower, and pregnancy is good for smartness:

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/womens-metabolic-brain-age-around-three-years-younger-mens-180971425/

https://qz.com/590486/scientists-think-baby-brain-makes-you-smarter-and-more-organized-not-less/

So women do not have to be obsessed with education and career from early youth.

Novaseeker
Novaseeker
7 months ago

Would women react by improving their own value in the mating market? Is that what your argument basically is? Maybe they would and maybe they wouldn’t. It would certainly create different pressures on women if they experienced that there were plenty of well-qualified men around who were simply not interested in committing to them. The overall point, though, is that men are empowered rather than disempowered by improving themselves — whether they are interested in something committed or not. It simply gives a man more options, and that always tends to swing the power balance towards himself when it comes… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
7 months ago

👍👍

j
j
7 months ago

@blax

kfg
kfg
7 months ago
Höllenhund
7 months ago

@Novaseeker

It would certainly create different pressures on women if they experienced that there were plenty of well-qualified men around who were simply not interested in committing to them.

…and yet you state that “the problem isn’t women — women are being themselves”, “women are fine”, “women have simply adapted to the changed culture and context”. This doesn’t add up, and you know that. You also probably know that the apex fallacy has been discussed over and over in the Manosphere. I advise you not to fall for that fallacy yourself when it comes to women.

Blaximus
Blaximus
7 months ago

It’s an issue of reaction. People in general are reactionary.

Blaximus
Blaximus
7 months ago

@ J

My brother from another mother…..

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=A-KzhNURkzk

Sentient
Sentient
7 months ago

Blax

Good video.

That Cannon thing was very similar to how I left my first company. basically the investors, led by a devious partner, wanted to shackle me with golden handcuffs, but take a lesser role, and I said “nah”… and quit.

They did not see that coming. Like really could not even comprehend…

There is a line and you either live up to it or you don’t. That switch has to be able to flip.

Novaseeker
Novaseeker
7 months ago

…and yet you state that “the problem isn’t women — women are being themselves”, “women are fine”, “women have simply adapted to the changed culture and context”. This doesn’t add up, and you know that. How so? Man change and improve their prospects. The problem actually isn’t women. It’s what the men themselves are doing. Women will react or not — that’s their call. Generally speaking, the ones who react most adaptively will be successful, and the ones who don’t, won’t. And women generally tend to be reactive as well. So I don’t see how “it doesn’t add up” unless… Read more »

Höllenhund
7 months ago

@Novaseeker You said it yourself: What I said was that it is true that most men today are poor marriage candidates, and that is simply the truth. They would be better marriage candidates if they were better men — that does not mean they need to get married. It does mean, though, that women’s complaint would shift from being about a lack of good men to being that men will not commit If women are “fine” and well-adapted, all those self-improved, self-actualized men would commit to them. Right? But the reality is that you can look at any symptom of… Read more »

Höllenhund
7 months ago

@Novaseeker There was a time 25 or so years ago when the social changes were so new that it was reasonable to give men slack for not being fully caught up. There was a natural “lag” at that point, and there was no internet to go to for instant information. That isn’t the case today, and hasn’t been the case for more than a decade. For men today to be ignorant really isn’t a valid excuse at all — the information is all there, and it’s all hiding in plain sight. That’s increasingly not the case. Websites providing Red Pill… Read more »

having a bad day
having a bad day
7 months ago

@Palmasailor @HABD That’s a long post and I’ll have to read it several times but in first passing I’ll say this: I’ve believed for a very long time (30 or so years) that the system despises me. The only reason it even allows me to exist and function is so that it can tax me, and it does that reluctantly. It places regulations and controls over almost all activities and it only very reluctantly allows me any “freedom”. It would rather I didn’t exist at all. that ‘regulation’ and control (as well as the whole ‘criminal tax system’ where they… Read more »

kfg
kfg
7 months ago

“Gentlemen, in the little moment that remains to us between the crisis and the catastrophe, we may as well drink a glass of Champagne.”

Paul Claudel, shortly before his retirement from the French diplomatic corps in 1936, when he not only could see it coming, but could see no way it could be avoided.

having a bad day
having a bad day
7 months ago

@Palmasailor @HABD This stuff is good. Equivalent to snobbish french stuff about 6 times the price. Need to let it stand in the cold for the sediment to drop then bring it inside to warm up and decant carefully about 6 hours before drinking. https://www.waitrosecellar.com/top-12-fine-wines/chateau-musar Rumour has it that the missed vintages are because the stock was wiped out by bombings, apart from that it’s the perfect grape for the climate. And probably the right wine for the declkne as it’s used to adversity. Should be brilliant with long pork.. hmmm, that seems to be infused with just the right… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
7 months ago

Palma

Because Fuck You, That’s Why

thedeti
thedeti
7 months ago

If women are “fine” and well-adapted, all those self-improved, self-actualized men would commit to them. Right? But the reality is that you can look at any symptom of social dysfunction and degeneracy, and you’ll find that it affects men and women equally, but the effect on women is swept under the carpet. After all, when was the last time you heard anyone outside the Manosphere even mention the effect the widespread consumption of romance novels and other forms of emotional pornography has on the romantic expectations and behaviors of young single women? What about the rising rates of alcoholism and… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
7 months ago

Palma,

Lol, there’s no way ever that I’d believe that 20% of men got 80% of women.

Blaximus
Blaximus
7 months ago

Everyone is a sticking point in my mind. It’s a big world with a long history.

thedeti
thedeti
7 months ago

As i think about it, another thing that’s probably going to happen is that marriage in the way we understand it, with one man and one woman, going to the state and getting a marriage certificate and making it all legal, is probably going to go by the wayside, but that will be a gradual change. I see more and more men and women partnering up and doing serial monogamy their entire lives. Starter wives and husbands, then to second and third partnerings that aren’t real marriages. Or one man and one woman together for life with kids and house… Read more »

theasdgamer
7 months ago

“There is actually, there’s data somewhere that says something to the effect that everyone has twice as many female ancestors than male ones. So what’s the math on that?” Some men only have daughters. Sometimes many daughters. I have a granddaughter who has blue eyes. I don’t have blue eyes, nor do my wife or daughter. My granddaughter gets her blue eyes in part from my father, who had blue eyes. Obviously, my father and I both reproduced, despite me not having a son. If you only look at the Y-chromosome, you’re making a mistake. Don’t believe bullshit like “there’s… Read more »

theasdgamer
7 months ago

Hi deti! ” If you think you’re going to have a “traditional marriage” where you don’t have to do much to maintain it” There’s a lie that men didn’t used to have to maintain their marriage. Marriage has never been thus. It’s just that men were prepared by other men to be more manly and more attractive to women. And men did maintain their marriage by maintaining their manliness and enforcing their boundaries and not being insecure and flirting with their wives. Even betas used to do this. I encountered something a little peculiar. I asked a married woman to… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
7 months ago

“I encountered something a little peculiar. I asked a married woman to dance and her husband encouraged it. Then she started hitting on me and her husband was smiling as she danced close to me. It’s like he wanted me to bang his wife. I thought about it and wondered if maybe he has a porn obsession and can’t get it up to bang his wife because it takes porn to arouse him. So maybe he was looking for another guy to bang his wife so that he could bang her afterwards. Or maybe he just wanted to steal a… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
7 months ago

100 to what’s been said by Nova and Deti. I think another component in the problem with telling men that they need to ” self improve ” in any fashion, is that the men being told this can be clueless as to what that means, or how to go about it – even if you break it down for them ( ie: lift/be strong and healthy, stand up for yourself and avoid pussyism, wash your ass and comb your hair….etc). Many times, especially with males younger than 30, when you say ” be sexually attractive “, their minds go to… Read more »

Jon Anthony
7 months ago

Great post, Rollo. I agree that the sexual marketplace is definitely in for a rude awakening, but as history has shown us, very few societies can last longer than a few centuries. I predict that the US will see a huge drop in marriage rates, while the top 1% of chads reap all the rewards. We’re already seeing this, but I think it will get way worse. What will probably happen then, is that all of these young men without any chance at having a sustainable relationship will grow violent. This will create a breeding ground for civil war. Unfortunately,… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
7 months ago

” predict that the US will see a huge drop in marriage rates, while the top 1% of chads reap all the rewards. We’re already seeing this, but I think it will get way worse. The top 1%? are you sure about this? The top 1% will reap all of the rewards? Nah. That’s a stretch. “What will probably happen then, is that all of these young men without any chance at having a sustainable relationship will grow violent. This will create a breeding ground for civil war.” Nope. If there’s any impetus for a ” civil war ” (… Read more »

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