Emotional Differences

The following was from a reader’s comment exchange I had back in March. I wanted to add this here before I move on to the Rational process, because it think it encapsulates a lot of the (often misguided) presumptions we have when it comes to the primary importance we apply to our Emotional process. As I mentioned last week, for millennia now we’ve elevated our Emotional process of interpreting our reality to mythical importance. So insaturated is this importance in our personal and cultural being that to even question it seems sacrilegious. We are literally born into a dependence on emotions for our own survival. That is part of our earliest development, but the conditioning that gives rise to the primacy of emotionalism is layered onto us for the rest of our lives. Emotionalism is the religion that we’ve fashioned from our Emotional interpretive process.
Women practice emotional manipulation and men practice emotional detachment. It’s been a game playing out for thousands of years. Somehow the roles got scrambled in the last century. Things will balance out one way or another in the coming future.

What’s been popularized in our social consciousness as ‘emotional detachment‘ is not a manipulation tactic of men. Men’s mental firmware processes emotion differently from women, but because we live in a feminine-primary social order we’re conditioned to believe that the way women process emotion is the “correct” way for men to process them as well. I made the point a little while ago in another essay that what we think is men’s incorrect way of communicating with other men is really men’s natural way of communicating. I’d linked to an article in the Boston Globe about the problem of “lonely middle aged men” and how they don’t do communication and friendship like women do. Men’s natural, general, indifference to their emotional state isn’t a bug, it’s a feature of our mental firmware.

This isn’t to say men don’t get lonely or share the same emotional states as women, but it is to say that men do emotions differently than women. We are naturally predisposed to prioritize information above emotion; the Instinctual and Rational processes come before emotion in our interpretive process. I can remember early on in my marriage when I would talk to a buddy of mine on the phone and then abruptly just say “see ya” or hang up. He knew I’d call him back to relay whatever info we were discussing sooner or later, but my wife thought something was wrong. “Is everything OK with Ray?” she’d ask, and I said “Yeah, why wouldn’t it?” She explained that she thought my ending the call like that was rude or that we’d had an argument. She was used to long drawn conversations with girlfriends or her sister and then ending them by some confessions of how much they would miss each other or some other meaningful way.

She thought my way of communicating was wrong, but this is how men interact with each other – say what you mean, mean what you say and get to the point. This was also the presupposition of the Boston Globe article and many other posts; men do communication wrong, men do emotion wrong, and therefore they must be conditioned to do them correctly. That is to say, like women do.

Men lack the hardware and the firmware to do this, but they are conditioned to reflexively respond as women do from the earliest age. Thus, when a man processes emotion naturally it appears he’s not “feeling” correctly or isn’t “emotionally available” to female-correct sensibilities. In this context a man doing emotion as his innate predispositions compel him to seems like he’s deliberately playing out some ’emotional detachment’ game. But rather than accept that men and women are different and deal with emotions in different ways our egalitarian Blue Pill conditioning makes us presume the man is being inauthentic.

“He’s not really that way, it’s an act, or he’s just withholding his emotions to hurt a woman.” This is the rationale that female-correct society has to resort to because accepting that men evolved to process emotions differently would also mean that men and women are not the functional “equals” that blank-slate equalism is founded on. Thus, their emphasis is to pathologize this emotional detachment and make it one more negative aspect of maleness in need of a ‘cure’.

I think your comments are pertinent and you brought good rational arguments. However they are along the lines of “that’s how we are, men and women”, that’s how we evolved and we can’t do anything about it because it’s in our DNA and our mental programming. Feminism is marching on the fact that we’re born equal, even if there are obvious biological differences. Yes, women emote more and have the means to be greater emotional manipulators. But men can learn the so called feminine behaviors (The so called Game actually involves this and I noticed some of the PUAs mentioning that it’s the bisexual men who are actually the greatest players) and women can also learn the so called manly behaviors (there are a lot of examples especially in our current society). Is it good, is it bad? Hard to say. The thing is that the family is an artificial construction that helped our civilization flourish and it’s been lately systematically destroyed due to what you’re calling feminine primary social order.

Evolution is a continuous process and my opinion is that it’s either people will somehow transcend their biology (see AI or some kind of other conscious evolution) or after some “dark” times of men being more like women and women more like men the things will come to the previous “normality” of feminine women and manly men.

Human beings will not transcend their own evolution, they will adapt with their environments, but they will not be removed from its influences. We’ve been force fitting and conditioning men to be women for the past five generation. We presume that the feminine is the correct, unitary way that humans should be. We call that egalitarian equality, but what it comes down to is adopting a universal correct mode of being and it’s founded on feminine/female control of what is right and wrong – at least for the time being.

However, this force-fits boys and men into an unnatural state they never evolved for and all because the feminine is the presumed correct gender norm that we base equality on. We’re all expected to be equally female. What has that got us in those past five generations? A male suicide rate five times that of women. Boys prescribed sedatives for acting like boys instead of ‘correct’ girls. I can go on.

The fact remains that you and many others of your mindset believe that evolving or being in control of that process only progresses if boys and men “transcend” their biology and think like correct females. It is the height of new agey metaphysical woo woo hubris to expect one sex to behave counter to its 100,000 years of evolved nature and become like the other to accommodate what it thinks should be correct. This is the crux here; the feminine-primary social order we live in today is predicated on the infallibility of the female experience, however, this experience is only validated if both men and women are prioritizing women’s Emotional process as a way of interpreting the world.

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Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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rugby11
rugby11
4 years ago

Oscar
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tmv19uq95j8
Good point
“I liked this piece up to a degree, but the author is quite judgemental:” Not sure what to do about that but look into my own behavior.
I’m not unique in the evolution of my species. All i must do is re create a biological component of my DNA.
Do you Garden?

SJF
SJF
4 years ago

The thing is, we can’t just get rid of our outdated defenses, because we can’t be without a means of understanding and interacting with our world – and that’s what we use our defense mechanisms for. Rather, the tricky thing about it is that we need to displace it with some other process that is useful to who/what/where we are today. These are not easy things to achieve, but they are worthy of our focus and effort. The liminal space that SJF keeps referring to is the “place and time and circumstance” (space-time continuum?) that allows us to be open… Read more »

SJF
SJF
4 years ago

@Rugby and Marelius One of the biggest stumbling blocks is those Walls in front of you. Those walls are Resistance. Your job is to make those walls lower, so you step over them like they are small, not huge and insurmountable. Clinging to old subconscious beliefs is a cry for returning to safety when you meet Resistance. Steven Pressfield talks about resistance in the beginning of his book Do The Work: About This Book This book is designed to coach you through a project (a book, a ballet, a new business venture, a philanthropic enterprise) from conception to finished product,… Read more »

Blaximus
4 years ago

@ Oscar Lots to unpack in that article/link. I went to high school with what I consider to be a ” real ” white nationalist, and he was nothing at all like the current crop of angry, frustrated trolls claiming the same today. We actually got to be very good …friends(?) … I guess that is what you could call it. We ate lunch together and smoked in the smoking area ( yeah, southern high schools used to actually have smoking areas. Tobacco country.). We had much different views, and areas of complete agreement, and we got to understanding each… Read more »

boulderhead
4 years ago

SJF you have some pepper in your fly shit.

marelius
4 years ago

boulderhead sized resistance…

SJF
SJF
4 years ago

Heheh,

Just trying to pick the fly shit out of the pepper for Rugby and Marelius.

Sentient
Sentient
4 years ago

blax

He didn’t hate anybody. He just didn’t want to be forced to live around, work around or have to associate with anyone that wasn’t ” white “. Lol, he didn’t really give a shit about any other ” race ‘ because his allegiance was to his own.

This was the landscape for 100 years until forced integration, affirmative action and open immigration laws, among others, changed things. It was the last period of high prosperity for both races.

Gee – almost as if there was a plan or something?

rugby11
rugby11
4 years ago

SJF https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hzGmsEkjbw About to head out and help out with a Shakespear play. Will go back over your post when i get back. “O, why should wrath be mute, and fury dumb? I am no baby, I, that with base prayers I should repent the evils I have done: Ten thousand worse than ever yet I did Would I perform, if I might have my will; If one good deed in all my life I did, I do repent it from my very soul.” ― William Shakespeare, Titus Andronicus Mens performance over womens (Apperantly men played women’s part’s back when… Read more »

Blaximus
4 years ago

Sentient

My bro. : )

Some things had to change. The devil is in the degree and the resistance.

I will agree that there were some forces that took advantage of the situation, for larger nefarious purposes though. No doubt about it.

SJF
SJF
4 years ago

How do you feel about your life? Is it everything you wanted it to be? If not, why not? What do you think is your biggest obstacle? What would you like to do in the future? What do you think you need to do that? Can you connect the dots to create new opportunities? –an exercise from Dave Gray in Liminal Thinking.

Blaximus
4 years ago

Is that an open question?

rugby11
rugby11
4 years ago

SJF https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qB9sYGZJdbs How do you feel about your life? Much Work needs to be done on fiance and relationship to self Is it everything you wanted it to be? If not, why not? No (Because i haven’t changed the root problem. What do you think is your biggest obstacle? Bad habits (Masturbation and internet) What would you like to do in the future? Own boss travel and left heavy shit. What do you think you need to do that? Gym membership and Rugby team Can you connect the dots to create new opportunities? Fiance yes relationships to self than other… Read more »

The Solitary Silver FoX
The Solitary Silver FoX
4 years ago

@ SJF A very well constructed precis with an abundance of very useful information. We should all be grateful for the time you have invested in sharing this with us here… “The universe is not indifferent. It is actively hostile…” Ain’t it the truth. But it can also seem very indifferent too. For an innovative creative as myself i have felt this hostility (resistance) for many years. And what i am now feeling is that as i forge a new sound in electronic music at age 52 there is resistance from some people in the industry who seem to prefer… Read more »

SJF
SJF
4 years ago

The Solitary Silver FoX “But as i am now consistently producing music of a high quality, and i believe it will only be a matter of time before i break through and make a name for myself…” Your mostly indomitable style is going to get you nearly where you want to go. Keep going. It’s an interesting analogy to carving out what you want to to musically to having a farm. When I got my farm, at first it was just on a whim. And as I spent one or two days a week disappearing there to get away from… Read more »

SJF
SJF
4 years ago

and here’s coked up hypomanic Julien giving a book review of Steal Like an Artist. At least listen to the first ten minutes:

https://youtu.be/xTkN8BQqv1M

And the author of the book:

https://youtu.be/oww7oB9rjgw

SJF
SJF
4 years ago
SJF
SJF
4 years ago

Rooster, by Alice in Chains The title comes from Alice in Chains guitarist-songwriter Jerry Cantrell’s father. “Rooster” was his nickname in Vietnam, where he fought in the war. The elder Cantrell wouldn’t talk about the war, so Jerry crafted the lyrics based on what he thought where his father’s feelings and experiences, told from his perspective. The song is about resilience, as the soldier get sent off to war, leaving a wife and child behind. He watches his friend die, and does his best to stay alive. They come to kill the Rooster, but he won’t die. Like The Drama… Read more »

Oscar C.
4 years ago

@rugby11 Cool dude, he seems to be a great person to talk to. I gave you the link because I thought you might relate to it, even if at the end the author toes the mainstream line with the usual boilerplate. However I think it is necessary to read different takes to avoid the echo chamber effect. Well, I don’t garden, and I sort of regret it because I grew up in a small village and could have learnt it easily. Anyways I am getting more and more interested in having regular contact with nature so I might start in… Read more »

j
j
4 years ago

Fun https://twitter.com/BotchSpec/status/994787482087710724 “Having a life” is how people explain why they don’t do anything fun with their friends except eat and have drinks. “Want to …?” “Well, yeah, that sounds great, but unlike you I have a frickin’ life.” For most of my friends these days, “a life” is a wife and kids, but for some of them, it’s just a house, or pets, or even a job. Strangely, “a life” never stops them from having dinner with you or meeting for beers after work. It just stops them from doing anything that requires energy or planning. It’s got to… Read more »

Blaximus
4 years ago

People, not just men or married men, get into ruts. A lot of folks are afraid or just mentally lazy, or physically lazy. The ruts become this:

comment image

Blaximus
4 years ago

….f%ck.

Rut become this:

http://viajeropeligro.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/gran-ca%C3%B1on.png

And now, a video for those so inclined.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ijufb_zj5_E&w=1280&h=720%5D

Blaximus
4 years ago

” .. Whatever the majority is doing, I’m going to do the opposite. “.

O.B.I.T.
O.B.I.T.
4 years ago

Good post Rugby

MARCUS ANDRONICUS: Why dost thou laugh? it fits not with this hour.
TITUS ANDRONICUS: Why, I have not another tear to shed:”

The Solitary Silver FoX
The Solitary Silver FoX
4 years ago

@ SJF My property is really just a lifestyle property rather than a farm as i have only have poultry for eggs, no other domestic animals. It has been an interesting journey (that we can both relate to) that i have mostly enjoyed and grown from. It has only been since last Xmas that my agreeable solitude (i do have friends around but live alone for the most part) turned to loneliness. Nothing stays the same of course and here i am. Making music is what is keeping me from sinking into the depths of despair, so it works well… Read more »

SJF
SJF
4 years ago

Silver Fox

Ironic that your avatar name contains the word Solitary.

I predict that you are going to climb out of your despair state. Dopamine from music isn’t actually something that just gets you a rush. It’s a chemical that stimulates a man to seek more of a rush. It’s not an end. It is a beginning.

Keep pushing. Vet the women you meet for being Feminine. There’s energy to be extracted from them there feminine women. Next masculine women.

Good Luck!

The Solitary Silver FoX
The Solitary Silver FoX
4 years ago

@ SJF Yes, having had my heart temporarily pulped by a masculine woman recently (The Serpent) i really do seek a feminine woman, for sure. Not too girly girl, but feminine & submissive, nonetheless. I do see the irony in my moniker, but at the time i was into being TSSF & was considering writing a blog about it. But i’m over that now, the solitary part, and am happy enough just being The Silver FoX instead. Things will shift. They must. But to facilitate that i need to focus on my goals and what i have control of: my… Read more »

SJF
SJF
4 years ago

“Things will shift. They must. But to facilitate that i need to focus on my goals and what i have control of: my thoughts, speech and actions. And making music inspires me more than anything else. That’s the spirit. You have ultimate control over that. In other words: you get to choose how you feel about things. The thing is Layne Staley got stuck in a solitary rut. I find that when I’m in a rut I default to going with 9 other things to work around that rut. Maybe music, weightlifting, reading non-fiction books, landscaping, hunting, any one of… Read more »

The Solitary Silver FoX
The Solitary Silver FoX
4 years ago

Another Beta man’s career in tatters over very lightweight, snowflake feminist accusations…

https://www.theage.com.au/entertainment/books/why-i-m-uneasy-about-this-chapter-in-the-metoo-revolution-20180511-p4zeoh.html

The Solitary Silver FoX
The Solitary Silver FoX
4 years ago

@ SJF Glad that your life is going well. You’ve been honest with yourself and are surfing a sustainable high. You’ve created the right mindset and a good world to live in. You’re a fortunate man to have a good woman in your life who is also committed to you, not to mention your kids… I find myself now paying for my past mistakes whilst living (what i thought at the time) the good life. Could never commit to any one woman so played the field with success over the years, never had a kid. Dropped out to the bush… Read more »

rugby11
rugby11
4 years ago

SJF
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiD6bnqpJDE
Life continues… Embrace what we have build what we don’t have. Mature in solitude along the way.
“Like The Drama That is Rugby:” I’m no Drama I’m an unfinished Action flick.

O.B.I.T.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyWEypmgpEA
Its performance Art…
Man up damn it… Grow up
Been putting myself back in part. What i do have control over and what i don’t.
Nigthmares back in their place with laugther.

BeHolldd
Shakespear’s black pill
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dg4kTDBvCbk
Aaron, the Moor (Mass destruction to the cultural madness of death and infliction on others who bear no ill will on the course of their own story’s.

The Solitary Silver FoX
The Solitary Silver FoX
4 years ago

@ palma

Yes, it is time to redeploy, and i’m trying to make it happen…

scribblerg
scribblerg
4 years ago

Ya gotta fuck ’em into submission. Women will run wild unless they are properly dominated by men. What we’ve got now is most women running amok cuz they are not properly domesticated. And given their upper hand in sexual selection, they can and do dominate us socially. In this case by imposing their sense of emotions upon us. There is a level of game that is purely sexual, purely about our viscera, not our words or analysis. Owning a woman sexually, this alone makes her entire being submit to you, even if she’s a blithering SJW. It throws sand in… Read more »

anon
anon
4 years ago

“This is your culture and no men is protesting!”
Thank you for the story about Uzoamaka, Pose-as-friend.

By coincidence, I represent an organization that provides funding for all varieties of posers.
Many generous corporations provide funding for our research, and we currently have about 20 million dollars awaiting distribution once we find a trustworthy local partner to receive the money into their bank account who will accept a 10 percent commission for their assistance.

Sentient
Sentient
4 years ago

“The world is literally dying for wise male leadership and social dominance. ”

This.

It’s really true. Both women and men. But it doesn’t mean they still wont put up a struggle against you. It’s just that you can see behind their eyes they are holding onto hope that they are wrong. So there is an opening. Their self doubt is activated way way down deep. And in that opening you can win them over.

Sentient
Sentient
4 years ago

Fox

Take some trips man. Start the process by hitting some low key tourist spots. Stay in cheap housing and just get into a mix of new people. No place uptight.

O.B.I.T.
O.B.I.T.
4 years ago
theasdgamer
4 years ago

By coincidence, I represent an organization that provides funding for all varieties of posers.
Many generous corporations provide funding for our research, and we currently have about 20 million dollars awaiting distribution once we find a trustworthy local partner to receive the money into their bank account who will accept a 10 percent commission for their assistance.

Oh, I have too much money, I’ll deposit $10k with you sight unseen.

anon
anon
4 years ago

“Oh, I have too much money, I’ll deposit $10k with you sight unseen.”

THANK YOU. WE ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO DOING THIS BUSINESS WITH YOU AND SOLICIT YOUR CONFIDENTIALITY IN THIS TRANSACTION.

theasdgamer
4 years ago

THANK YOU. WE ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO DOING THIS BUSINESS WITH YOU AND SOLICIT YOUR CONFIDENTIALITY IN THIS TRANSACTION.

I think you’re a phony. Your spelling is too good.

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
4 years ago

“I started crawling out of my hole and I tried to state that I came to Red Pill out of inspiration and aspirations, rather than desperation and frustrations. I had lied to myself there, and he had me dead to rights.) And then I came to my senses.”

One hits not the bottom of life but of his ego. If life went on without shocks of disallusionmemt who would ever know or attain their potential?

scribblerg
scribblerg
4 years ago

@Solitary – I saw Alice in Chains at the Hammerstein Ballroom in NYC this past Monday night. As a fellow musician and guitarist, well, what can I say? Layne Staley was great in his day and they were a huge band. But this was a 2500 seat house and wow, did they send it. Still crushing it. Fucking rowdy crowd. I was on the floor and well, lets just say I migrated towards the rear…I’ll fuck a 23yo, but I won’t mosh with one…

frank632
4 years ago

Debate FaceandLMS!!!

O.B.I.T.
O.B.I.T.
4 years ago

So I see these comments and call up some Alice in Chains on YT to broaden my musical knowledge, and the Up Next column has more AIC, a few other things I’ve listened to before … and a Jordan Peterson lecture?

I swear, the guy is everywhere

O.B.I.T.
O.B.I.T.
4 years ago

And by the way has anyone ever seen Rollo and Henrik Ostergaard in the same room?

https://youtu.be/JEeNG8l_AnU

The Solitary Silver FoX
The Solitary Silver FoX
4 years ago

@ Senient “Take some trips man…” That’s the plan, my man. My most recent trip to the city to play an event was great, meeting new people including some lovely women, catching up with other women i’d previously fucked (who still like me), getting some new fans for my music, having fun… Over the next month i’ve got a pretty busy social calendar (for me), booked most weekends, playing a married new friend’s (who i fancy but will let her lead anything that might happen) party and going to the the main performance of a stage show featuring a track… Read more »

rugby11
rugby11
4 years ago

If life went on without shocks of disallusionmemt who would ever know or attain their potential?

Damn good read

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoQvbDROucQ

Man ive learned so much at times i wonder if i could meet everyone here in person.

SJF
SJF
4 years ago

“I started crawling out of my hole and I tried to state that I came to Red Pill out of inspiration and aspirations, rather than desperation and frustrations. I had lied to myself there, and he had me dead to rights.) And then I came to my senses.” One hits not the bottom of life but of his ego. If life went on without shocks of disillusionment who would ever know or attain their potential? If one proceeds Without Skin in the Game, he gets lazy. If he gets overly intellectual and submits to the curse of intellectuals: That they… Read more »

theasdgamer
4 years ago

@SSF

Looks like you are implementing your plan. Kudos.

The Solitary Silver FoX
The Solitary Silver FoX
4 years ago

@asd

Yes, it’s time i shook the monkey off my back and stopped indulging negative thoughts and focused on gratitude and positive thoughts and actions. Just getting back into ‘A Complaint Free World’ by Will Bowen which is a recommended book which is helping. If i don’t make it happen, no-one else will, so i appreciate all the honest feedback from y’all here…

permeance
permeance
3 years ago

Clean your reality.

rugby11
rugby11
3 years ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdpuaCWCQ8g
Species and selection

Heath
Heath
3 years ago

Once again you hit the nail on the head especially for me. I been accused of being cold, a jerk, or “you are of the devil” by women. And one wonders why I emotionally detached so easily. So with that said, masculinity has been attacked or labeled something ‘other’ and I know this from first hand experience in my workplace when I am detached and it freaks out a few of my female co-workers and assistant managers who are women.

h2orocks3000
h2orocks3000
2 years ago

@rollo – its important to put your views on emotion into a certain context.

h2orocks3000
h2orocks3000
2 years ago

rollo, its important to put views on emotion and men in a certain context. in our modern society we have basically, created a culture that disconnects us all so deeply from ourselves. there are tribes in africa who do a solid job of creating kids with secure attatchments to their parents where as in the U.S. at best we only ever have 50% of kids securley attatch to the parents. the function of the Prefrontal Cortex is the function of a secure attatchment. on top of it, the way we live is so divorced from the tribal communities of our… Read more »

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