The Reconstruction IV

head_hitting

The Red Pill shows you the dark side of women. Not so that you will hate them but so you appreciate them for what they are, not what they’re not.

I think one of the harder aspects of the Red Pill for men who get awakened-while-married (or while monogamous) to accept is the disillusionment of their Blue Pill idealism about women confirmed for them in the behavior and mindsets of their wives. Breaking the Blue Pill ego-investments of single men who unplug is a difficult task, but their investment risk in women (real or imagined) they believe might make acceptable long-term mates is far less than a man who’s been married for more than 4 or 5 years.

For the single Red Pill guy with the option to simply walk away from a less than optimal situation, his conflict becomes one of potentials and weighing them against his Blue Pill ideals – ideals his unplugging should rid him of. His struggles is one about the “what ifs” and disabusing himself of the scarcity mentality that the Blue Pill has conditioned him for. While Hypergamy inherently instills in women a persistent doubt about a man’s quality, the Blue Pill instills in men a doubt about “quality” women’s scarcity and his capacity to find and maintain a ‘soul mate‘.

However for married men, with a considerable amount of emotional, social, financial and familial investment at stake in his marriage, there’s a natural resistance that comes in the form of denial. What’s tough is that, within this initial state of denial, a husband accepts the Red Pill truths about women and then has those truths confirmed for him by the woman he’s been sleeping next to for a number of years. All of the awareness about men and women’s differing concepts of love, the truth of women’s Hypergamously motivated opportunism, her confirming her open Hypergamy, all of the events that led up to his committing himself in marriage to her while he was still effectively Blue Pill – all of that gets confirmed for him when he puts into practice the concepts he learns from the Red Pill.

For all of the ‘anger’ that profiteering critics would like to wipe off on Red Pill thought, that anger finds its base in men’s confirming their own role in what was (or would’ve been) a life-long strategy for him to fulfill the dictates of women’s Hypergamy as well as the larger scope of the Feminine Imperative. When we put this into the perspective of a married man who unplugs, you can see why this is such a threat to the imperative. That man must reassess his life from the position of his being an unwitting participant in his Blue Pill conditioning, but furthermore, he becomes a constant caution, a warning, for men who have yet to make the same uneducated decisions he has.

There is nothing more depressing to me than to listen to a married man parrot back all of the tropes the Feminine Imperative has taught him to repeat about why he’s in the subservient role in his marriage. These are the guys who’ll laughingly tell single men how they must “clear everything with the Boss” before they are allowed (or will allow themselves) to participate in anything remotely masculine or self-entertaining. These are the men who prattle about their ‘honey-do’ lists, the men who count themselves fortunate to have such a ‘great wife’ who’ll allow him to watch hockey or football on a weekend. I wrote a more detailed post about these men in The Abdication Imperative.

These husbands are depressing to me because, in their Blue Pill ignorance, they represent the summation of their roles according to the strategies of the Feminine Imperative. They’ll gladly White Knight for their wives’ right to the Frame of their marriage (under the pretense of equalism). They’ll laugh and commiserate with other husbands sharing their position of powerlessness-but-with-all-accountability. They’ll chirp with funny little Facebook memes that share their ridiculous, married state, but for all of that acquiescing to their ‘fates’ what they really represent is the goal-state of men in the Feminine Imperative’s plan for their lives.

Men generally come to the realization of their appointed role at some point in their lives. Whether it’s Red Pill awareness or coming to a mid life crisis epiphany, men get ‘woke’ in some respect. The few who don’t are men whose existence literally depends on their not coming to terms with how the Blue Pill has made them what/who they are. The most common way for men to come into this awareness has been that mid-life epiphany, but in order for men to reconcile that awareness with maintaining a comfortable sense of self they become the men I describe in The Abdication Imperative. They really don’t know anything else but what the Blue Pill has created them to be, so they go into denial and add some self-deprecating humor to it to cope with the dissonance of knowing they’ve been played by the Feminine Imperative for the better part of their lives. So you get the ‘Yes Dear’ husbands; the men who realize the truth too late, but that same scarcity mentality forces them to go along to get along.

The rise of Red Pill awareness of intersexual dynamics on the internet has made for a community of men who find this denial distasteful. Rather than abdicate to the imperative and their wife’s Frame they look to the Red Pill and Game for a remedy to that state. Sometimes that’s getting their wives to have sex with them more frequently or they’re looking to better themselves in a Red Pill context to gain women’s (their wives’) respect. As I’ve mentioned many times before, the Red Pill represents a threat to the Feminine Imperative keeping men ignorant of their roles in women’s Hypergamous plans. Now that threat comes to fruition in the context of men’s marriages.

One way or another, men will become aware of their role, how that man goes about dealing with it is another story. Most (being Blue Pill) abdicate and accept their powerlessness in their relationships. It’s the other men who choose not to just cope, but to reconstruct themselves that the Red Pill will have answers for.

Break Up with Your Wife

Not too long ago in various comment threads on this blog readers had a discussion about how any marriage (at least in the contemporary sense) is always founded on a Beta status for the husband. I don’t entirely agree with that assessment, but considering how the large majority of marriages are the culmination of Blue Pill conditioned men fulfilling their role as cuckolded provider for women cashing out of the sexual marketplace it’s certainly an understandable presumption. I won’t elaborate too much on the particulars, but the very act of committing to a woman monogamously implies a man (even one with an Alpha persona) is leaning towards a Beta perception. Alpha’s don’t commit to anyone but themselves, Betas are eager to commit from necessity and scarcity. The act becomes the confirmation.

If we follow this binary logic, the only solution to a man’s condition within his marriage – the only way to institute a real change – is to reject and break that commitment. Personally, I have lived out what most men would envy in my marriage for over 20 years now, so the idea of leaving Mrs. Tomassi would only seem like a good idea if I weren’t satisfied sexually, psychologically and life-wise with her. But, as I always repeat, don’t use my marriage as a benchmark. There was a point where I needed to break up with her, if only by adopting my own mental point of origin above that of hers or women in general as my own Blue Pill conditioning would expect of me.

I mentioned in the beginning of this series that married (committed) men seeking to reconstruct themselves within that context ought to read the post for the Iron Rule of Tomassi #7:

Iron Rule of Tomassi #7
It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never as valuable as you thought it was.

I mention this as a starting point because when you’re making the decision to reconstruct yourself you must ‘do it for you’. Once again, any real change always beggars the question about who you’re really changing for. Nothing is an act of unguided, unbiased, self-initiated change – there is always some ancillary influences as well as consequences. This is the crisis of motive.

However, if you find yourself awakened-while-married and you want to remake yourself, know that this change must be for yourself and not for your wife. This decision to reconstruct your life, your persona, your belief set, etc., and reject what the Blue Pill has made of you must come as a result of making yourself your mental point of origin. This ‘new you’ precludes any consideration of your wife’s interests. It must be in order for your transformation to be genuine to both yourself and those who know the ‘old’ you. As I mentioned in the last installment, the likelihood of your wife accepting your new persona is dependent on what Frame you entered that relationship with as well as what you’ve surrendered of your self-respect to her.

This is the most difficult part for Blue Pill men wanting to reconstruct themselves. Their mental point of origin doesn’t change, they want to change because they want to be “more Alpha” for their wives, not themselves. The idea is to adopt just enough Alpha that their wives turn the sex spigot back on for them, but never really internalize the Red Pill to the point that is fundamentally changes who they are. Thus, it becomes an act not unlike newbie PUAs aping the behaviors of their mentors, but never internalizing the deeper meanings of why they work or making them part of ‘who’ they are as a person.

This is what kills a man’s reconstruction before it ever starts. That change must be a self-first proposition. Your Red Pill self-work must be intrinsically rewarding because there is absolutely no guarantee that a man’s wife / girlfriend will ever reimagine him from a different perspective. Particularly if that woman entered into that marriage/LTR because she’d hoped to maintain Frame indefinitely due to him abdicating to it.

You must become Red Pill aware for the sake of knowing the larger truth, internalize it and then apply it without the pretense of believing it can be used to achieve Blue Pill ideals.

With this in mind, you must presume that you are breaking up with your wife / girlfriend. It is far better to approach your reconstruction from the idea that the Red Pill you would likely have nothing to do with a woman like your wife. If you were single man, Red Pill aware and Game savvy, would you even approach your wife knowing what you do now about her personally as well as what you know about the Feminine Imperative and how it influences her?

Your reconstruction requires a radical shift that is only possible for you by breaking up with your LTR, at least in a subconscious respect. It is important to assess what, if anything, is worth rooting through garbage for. If you approach your reconstruction by first making yourself your mental point of origin, the next step is to assume you will be breaking up with your wife. It may never come to that, but this is the gravity with which a man must come to his reconstruction. The same reasoning I mention in Rooting through Garbage applies to your reconstruction:

Even if you could go back to where you were, any relationship you might have with an ex will be colored by all of the issues that led up to the breakup. In other words, you know what the end result of those issues has been. It will always be the 800 pound. gorilla in the room in any future relationship. As I elaborated in the Desire Dynamic, healthy relationships are founded on genuine mutual desire, not a list of negotiated terms and obligations, and this is, by definition, exactly what any post-breakup relationship necessitates. You or she may promise to never do something again, you may promise to “rebuild the trust”, you may promise to be someone else, but you cannot promise to accept that the issues leading up to the breakup don’t have the potential to dissolve it again. The doubt is there. You may be married for 30 years, but there will always be that one time when you two broke up, or she fucked that other guy, and everything you think you’ve built with her over the years will always be compromised by that doubt of her desire.

You will never escape her impression that you were so optionless you had to beg her to rekindle her intimacy with you.

It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. This is the same rationale you will need to adopt when you transition into a new Red Pill aware persona. This is necessary because once you’ve become aware there is no going back to that previous state of ignorance. You will know what can be possible with or without your wife/LTR.

Thus, it is important to zero everything out and treat your old wife as a new prospective woman. This perspective may mean she becomes someone not worth your effort, but it might also mean she likes the prospect of a new husband. This may mean she too will have to undertake some kind of transformation in relating to a Red Pill aware husband, or it might be that this is something she never foresaw. Dread works best when a man understands the Cardinal Rule of Relationships: In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least.

By adopting the mindset that you are breaking up with her you reclaim this power – you have nothing to lose and have no way of going back to unknowing the Red Pill awareness you have now. For single men I often point out that breaking up with a girl is one of the best ways to demonstrate higher value (DHV). The downside to that is that by the time you get to the point of leaving DHV isn’t what you really care about. For the reconstructing man, adopting the position that you are breaking up (or have broken up) harnesses some of this DHV.

Most women (wives) will interpret your new self-importance as some kind of phase or your reclaiming your independence (rather than her co-dependence) as some childish sulking behavior. Anticipate this. She will presume you’re ‘going your own way’ within the marriage to force her to fuck you more or to get her to comply with your Frame. This is to be expected, but watch what her initial reactions to your takeaway are. This will give you an insight into how she perceives you. If you’re predominantly Beta her response will be that you’re pouting or sulking by removing your attention. If she sees you as Alpha her response will be much more serious and you’ll get the “what’s wrong baby?” reaction. This is a good starting point in determining her genuine perception of you.

You will effectively be NEXTing your wife so be prepared for her post-NEXTing behavior-set (extinction burst behavior) in the same way you would if you dropped a plate. This will be a tough transition for men who have invested themselves emotionally in their wives. You’ll want to come back to that place of comfort, but always remember that place is one of disrespect and sexlessness.

Most men will go half-way in their reconstruction and this is usually the result of having played a game of relationship ‘chicken’. They have their bluff called because it was always a bluff to them – they never made themselves their mental point of origin so they go back to the safety of their Blue Pill disrespect. Their wives respond to the takeaway of their attention, but never really connect with being attracted to his new self-respect and self-importance. Once that woman even marginally steps up her sexual frequency – motivated by her wanting him to return to her Frame – the guy gets comfortable and wants to go back to his comfy wife while feeling validated by thinking he made a genuine change that she responded to.

You must go all the way. If you don’t, the next time you attempt to exercise your Red Pill awareness in the hope that she’ll accept the new you, you’ll be that much more laughable to her. In fact, you’ll only further cement her perception of your whiny Beta status. The first time it’s Dread, the second time it’s you being pissy.

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Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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EhIntellect
EhIntellect
5 years ago

Many, many posts ago a commenter declared his wife to be fully submissive, tending to his every whim, with alacrity and good cheer in her submissiveness. He was impugning the TRM narrative re:trying to tame women or such.

Kobiashii (I believe) pointed out that with such submission he’s vulnerable to cucking without constant mate-guarding. When submissive to such an extent, she’s submissive always. She’s his as long as he’s there, but another may serve her hypergamy just as well in his absence.

Being her best option at all times is the challenge, esp. so in a highly competitive SMP.

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
5 years ago

“when I asked her about him (“Who?”)”

She’s lying…you tipped your cards.

“…run to smart religious geeks who wear glasses”

I’ll stay away. Joke! Just kidding!

theasdgamer
5 years ago

@Sentient

Why does Mrs. Gamer mention Hands occasionally? Maybe she thinks that that will up her value in my eyes via Preselection. Mrs. Gamer just told me that some “gentleman offered to carry her bottles of water to the car.” She said that she declined. Maybe she needs drama. Just queried Mrs. Gamer and it’s about her needing a little drama. It could be that Mrs. Gamer mentioning Hands is a signal that I’m being too dickish.

theasdgamer
5 years ago

@Intellect

“when I asked her about him (“Who?”)”
She’s lying…you tipped your cards.

Nah…Mrs. Gamer would use the opportunity to create drama and she’s INTJ and well-trained about telling the truth. Old school.

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

ASD

You are cracking me up in this thread… well-trained about telling the truth

To tell the truth she must know it first… and we know emotion is the only truth to a woman.

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Maybe this? –]Niko_Choski 17 points 1 year ago I have not been threatened to be doxxed. I want to state that clearly here. But, like in the case of CS, I trusted the wrong people initially when I was looking for brotherhood within this community. I hope my trust is not betrayed. I think in general those people are happy I am gone either way. The state of MGTOW as it is right now, with people threatening to doxx, threatening in videos, speaking against each other’s views on how to live their own life, pushing for a cult with strict… Read more »

If-I-Fell
If-I-Fell
5 years ago

So, I was thinking to myself that I disagreed with part of SJF’s comment concerning his wife’s good husband list comment (last thread, Reconstruction 3): SJF “Reconstruction. My wife came by with this list. (Yes it’s kind of embarrassingly personal, but I don’t mind sharing if it proves a point or helps the process of opening someones eyes.) She wrote this out in some cute feminine handwriting on a notepad and tore the sheet out of the binder and handed it to me: What I Want: …” (6 part list—shit you were probably already doing, but without accolades.) So, my… Read more »

If-I-Fell
If-I-Fell
5 years ago

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

@Rollo: “. . . what happened to Niko Choski?” I’m afraid that I’ve been wondering if you were going to tell me. I would think the year ago stuff was something different, as they both came back (albeit with a lower profile) after that brouhaha, which was about Mr. Women Are Pure Evil Unless They’re My Daughter or Some Other Little Girl Because I Have A Daughter going after anyone who refused to agree that women are Pure Evil. CS was recently doxxed, but in an unrelated teapot tempest. Niko has updated his web site https://www.nikochoski.com/ as recently as January… Read more »

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

” . . . as recently as January 29. . .”

29, 27, it’s the idea that’s the important thing.

He seems to be active on mgtow.co by the content of the article. I’m not registered and not going to go digging for a service entrance right now.

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

All he has to say about it:

https://www.nikochoski.com/2017/01/19/manosphere-downfall/

Tom Kenobi
5 years ago

Is this going to be an on-going series? Seems like there should be at least a fifth installment. Either way, solid stuff. Thanks for doing what you do, Rollo!

Playdontpay
Playdontpay
5 years ago

Can anyone explain what DPA is? Can’t find it in a list of red pill acronyms. Thanks.

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
5 years ago

The Alpha triad: Dynamic, Passionate, Authentic.

theasdgamer
5 years ago

@Sentient

To tell the truth she must know it first… and we know emotion is the only truth to a woman.

To be sure, emotions tend to be dominant in most women…but Mrs. Gamer is INTJ and geeky and well-trained by Old School standards…I have seen her emotions make her cortex hamster a back-rationalization, but this is rare in her…my observations (and I AM a trained observer) are that Mrs. Gamer generally tells the truth as I conceive it to be. Maybe she’s a unicorn. So observations about her won’t help us understand most women.

@Play

Dynamic
Passionate
Authentic

theasdgamer
5 years ago

As I recall, the wife of Roderigo Diaz (El Cid) was considered an honorable woman and this was considered rare at the time.

walawala
walawala
5 years ago

@Culum We’ve all spent money we shouldn’t have. Three of my other plates all buy me gifts or cook for me so this last one was simply one I ghosted after she had a text melt-down.

I never feel great after these things but holding the line. The point of this is not to backslide.

I have been in a situation where I walked away…then back-slid. Big mistake.

A lot of relationship dynamics are counter-intuitive. The more you do…the less she appreciates.

anon
anon
5 years ago

“The Alpha triad: Dynamic, Passionate, Authentic.”

Apparently with the right mixture of DPA any and all women respond to his slap on her ass with an insuppressible, completely involuntary and spontaneous giggle. Much like the pillsbury doughboy when you press on his abdomen.
Hope I never encounter one. Sounds scary.
I’m sure I haven’t because AWALT…it’s science and shit. Look at all the empirical data.

Lost Patrol
Lost Patrol
5 years ago

@If-I-Fell This comment made me L.O.L. They end when the wife re-frames the incident without admitting wrongdoing and things return to DEFCON 1. Rollo’s entire reconstruction series, with the usual classic commentary, well – to call it thought provoking would be too much understatement. I’m still processing all of it. With apologies to Babe ‘Curly’ Howard: “I’m tryin’ to think, but nuthin’ happens.” Your comment captures many years of my married life. She was determined to establish and maintain control. I, despite being a blue pill beta poster boy, was enough of a hard head to resist all her efforts.… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

Playdontpay, DPA is Sentient’s codification of the Alpha triad. It may be necessary.
It is not sufficient, that’s been shown more than once.

As with anything else any man writes here, if it works for you, if it helps, then take it.
If not, then leave it.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

kfg, Rollo, looks like Niko is stuck somewhere in the unplugging process, and some number of militant MGTOW are maybe engaged in some massive “more MGTOW than you!” contest, using doxxing as a weapon. I think his idealism, his view of what ought to be, is getting kicked around by nasty reality, i.e. what is.

Looks like Huck Finn himself, an archtype of MGTOW, would not be welcomed by the more militant and pissy MGTOW’s now. Pretty stupid.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

Crosscommented with you, Rollo. “Invested in his girlfriend”, especially on the blue-to-purple pill terms that Niko has, would most definitely get him in trouble with the He-Man MGTOW Purity Po-lice.

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

Historical background for anyone who might be interested:

Policing MGTOW:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHKf4z01l5M

Policing Niko:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQ3tXcsOt_Y

He started threatening to dox men he felt were giving bad advice if they didn’t stop making videos and Niko had been in contact with him IRL, which left him pretty vulnerable.

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

@ Rollo and Anonymous Reader Is this a bad thing with Niko investing in a girlfriend at the expense of contributing to Manosphere? Do you have a judgment about that fact, or is Niko, merely choosing a path.(whether choosing a fork or blazing a path). LTR’s have intrinsic value. Even if they are good as it gets and then you move on. It’s not completion and there is always breaking through resistance. Something tells me that with his profession and mindset, he changed. And his professional pursuits across the pond (his profession) argues for more stability in a LTR (which… Read more »

Ella
Ella
5 years ago

You are so funny! This blog screams I need an emotional connection with somebody, but I’m so afraid that I razionalize everything to an insane level. Dude leave that shit, just feel it, do they break your heart? Try again, we are hard wired to belong, or keep this shitty blog and became schizo/paranoid.

dr zipper
dr zipper
5 years ago

^^^ I’m new here, is that a troll?

Novaseeker
Novaseeker
5 years ago

A new troll. Always so refreshing.

If-I-Fell
If-I-Fell
5 years ago

I cannot remember if this is a line from a movie or something I heard in real life. I think it was delivered by a senior non-commissioned army officer.

“From the moment they [women] emerge from the womb—they are the enemy.”

Does anyone know the attribution for this quote?

Ella
Ella
5 years ago

You need and are so afraid of woman at the same time that is amazing to see.
You spend hours planning all kind of “defense” that is going to ruin your life, in real life I feel sad for you any time I met a PUA, there allways that acting thing of you, over analizing everything… then you met a girl that doesn’t meet your PUA manual and you get obsessed.

kfg
kfg
5 years ago
Ella
Ella
5 years ago

Ohh, and to you corazón… you emerged from the womb of your enemy too? mommy’s issues are going to be resolved at the psychologist.

Blaximus
5 years ago

Hoboken??!!!??!!! Ooooooohhhh I’m dyin’ again!!!!!!

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

Novaseeker

A new troll. Always so refreshing.

Well, she’s obviously Concerned….

Ella
any time I met a PUA, there allways that acting thing of you, over analizing everything…

Not all PUA’s are like that.

Blaximus
5 years ago

NAPALT

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

I love the smell of NAPALT in the morning.

Ella
Ella
5 years ago

The womb: where your primal need to belong is developed.
Family: where that belonging is rooted
Women: where you reflect that need, if failed, you came hear, where you belong in a group with people with the same trauma.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

El La
The womb: where your primal need to belong is developed.

So what men need is a womb with a view? Or a womb of one’s own?

Family: where that belonging is rooted

Except when it isn’t, of course.

Women: where you reflect that need, if failed, you came hear, where you belong in a group with people with the same trauma.

Could you try to write that in English?

theasdgamer
5 years ago

@Ella

The womb: where your primal need to belong is developed.

Don’t go shakin’ your womb at me, sister.

Family: where that belonging is rooted

Single-parent headed by momma, single-parent headed by dad, two-parent-both-gay, two-parent-both-lez, the Village (People)…welcome to the modern Primal family

Women: where you reflect that need, if failed, you came hear, where you belong in a group with people with the same trauma.

Only if they wear my gang colors. And they have reefer and coke.

I love playing with trolls all night and making them rock-firm when daylight hits.

Ella, ellla, wannafella

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

Rollo I’m not saying that’s necessarily a bad thing, but I don’t think he could reconcile his MGTOW and then RP mindset with having an LTR/GF. That right there. Far as I can tell, Niko is no where near unplugged and he’s quite idealistic. The cognitive dissonance between an LTR and what MGTOW has become in recent years is really obvious. Plus since he’s somewhere in the unplugging stage, the easiest way to cope with the cog-dis is to just evaporate a lot of the MGTOW side of his life and pull way back from the red pill. It is… Read more »

theasdgamer
5 years ago

any time I met a PUA, there allways that acting thing of you, over analizing everything…

Trolls always gotta go anal. :/

Ella
Ella
5 years ago

@anonymisreader and the sweetty tiger
The only thing you need is to accept your need to belong and connection with a woman… well @tiger accepted it his way (with his anal, fella, need for love sugestions- yes beauty you are doing well)

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

“That’s a LOT of material to just disown because you’re ‘disillusioned’ with the manosphere.” I don’t know, but some of these British guys like the spoken word videos KFG posted @6:33 are kind of goofy, in a Brother’s Grimsby kind of way. Who ever that guy was, he wasn’t speaking of Agency with women. Niko doesn’t strike me a disillusioned. If anything, he seemed very grounded in his being like Goldmund. The whole reason to use the manosphere is to transform and to move on. Let me count the men (for the positive or the negative), Roosh, Athol, Pook, Shark,… Read more »

GW
GW
5 years ago

Bravo again Rollo!! Nailed it on the head. It was very, very tough for me during the transition period…many sleepless “uncomfy” nights alone in the same bed. If I hadn’t decided it was my way or the highway deep inside, I never would have pushed through. The tests are gut wrenchingly real when you are trying to alpha up within an LTR (14 year marriage in my case). While far from done (with what I want to accomplish), I am starting to feel comfortable that I have turned that corner now (with her anyways). She clearly understands who needs who… Read more »

Novaseeker
Novaseeker
5 years ago

The only thing you need is to accept your need to belong and connection with a woman… Ah, the old thing about power again. It always comes down to this with the FI. “You need this, so buckle down, boy, and come to the pussy, because we own you — you need us, and you’re fucked”. Well … no. We may want you, but we thrive when we pursue ourselves, and we get you along the way, as an “add-on”, an accessory to our own mission, which has nothing to do with you. If anything, women desperately need men. Without… Read more »

Culum Struan
Culum Struan
5 years ago

Posted with no further comment – an article in GQ about a class in King County (Seattle) that teaches johns busted in anti-prostitution ops to “cure” themselves by teaching them about the patriarchy..

http://www.gq.com/story/cure-men-who-pay-for-sex-end-prostitution

Ella
Ella
5 years ago

@novaseeker
It’s not about power it’s about balance, values and respect.
If you focus in who has the power you are going to loose cause you are not adressing your real need that is conexion and belonging.
If you where not affraid of that need, this whole Pua thing would not exist and be just self development staff.
read Maslow the need to belong is a basic need, if don’t address that, never going to go forward to the others (career, self development)

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

comment image?zz=1

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

comment image

Neglected to delete the tracker.

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

Women do not foster men’s sense of belonging, they try to destroy it, because while they are unequipped to understand it, they know it doesn’t include them.

insanitybytes22
5 years ago

“Roosh has already stated he’s given up on Christianity” Roosh is a good example of why I keep bringing up values, honor, integrity. So, so many men don’t have that, things we tend to take for granted. I wish Roosh well but he is an aging pick up artist, trying to pour women into the abyss of his soul as if it actually means something, as if that gives him his significance and identity. I can hear the ache in his voice when he tries to say, “I’m a good person.” So who is to blame for Roosh’s inability to… Read more »

If-I-Fell
If-I-Fell
5 years ago

Return to DEFCON 1… Oppps! I meant DEFCON 5 (lowest level) @ SJF As for winning the shit test. I did this by following the platinum rule and not by winning a verbal joust. SJF, if you have found a way to make your wife not shit test, my hat’s off. @ Old Married Guys, Long-Term Relationship Guys Just so other men know what this type looks like (unlike the Angelina-Jolie-Level Shit Test), here goes: An old male friend posted an invite on my wife’s FB (I don’t update mine) to a Superbowl party 40 miles away. She said, if… Read more »

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

:

Q.E.D.

@IB:

That whole “don’t throw me into the briar patch” thing doesn’t work for Br’er Fox. Dogs are not rabbits.

anon
anon
5 years ago

Roosh is failing in life because fuckin’ fine hoes isn’t a life plan.
It’s the result of a plan.

Lost Patrol
Lost Patrol
5 years ago

You are so funny!

At least Ella appreciates someone here for their sense of humor. I’m pretty sure it’s me.

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

If-I-Fell

Your great grandpa would have handled this about the same way… A few less words perhaps.

What’s ols is new.

insanitybytes22
5 years ago

“That whole “don’t throw me into the briar patch” thing doesn’t work for Br’er Fox. Dogs are not rabbits.”

I am not the one in danger being thrown in the briar patch. People like Roosh are, in fact he’s already there and he did it to his own self.

Br’er Fox needs to get off his high horse once in a while and accept that fact that he’s actually human and he has needs that extend beyond the sexual.

Novaseeker
Novaseeker
5 years ago

@novaseeker It’s not about power it’s about balance, values and respect. If you focus in who has the power you are going to loose cause you are not adressing your real need that is conexion and belonging. If you where not affraid of that need, this whole Pua thing would not exist and be just self development staff. read Maslow the need to belong is a basic need, if don’t address that, never going to go forward to the others (career, self development) Funny then how I am fairly close to the top of my career ladder, isn’t it? And… Read more »

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

” . . . he has needs that extend beyond the sexual.”

Q.E.D. Are you sure you’re on your own side?

rugby11
rugby11
5 years ago

Novaseeker
Mission first

pinelero
pinelero
5 years ago

New crop of female posters (FI agents) being chased around by the guys … again.

It’s the Siren’s call for you to go back to the male nest slave plantation.

insanitybytes22
5 years ago

“Relationships with women come along as you are pursuing your mission, they are not a core need.” Quite true, so frosting on your cake then. Funny how I say “need” and you automatically think neediness, the unmanly pursuit of complete dependence, total vulnerability. There are men within the ‘sphere who actually want relationship and connection with a woman and yet there is also all this shaming, doxxing, abuse, as if they are totally whupped, traitors to the cause, as if the most shameful thing they can ever do is to just admit that. That’s not healthy and Roosh is a… Read more »

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
5 years ago

“As people you need relationship and connection with your Creator” IB Herself, I could explain what this is about but not understand it for you. “It’s not about power it’s about balance, values and respect.” Translation: Respect me inspite of my insolence, expectant behavior, unearned companionship and oh, gimme the remote. Talking to Mrs. EhIntellect post work, wine glass in hand, at kitchen island. She’s reflecting how she sees the sexual-power dynamic, in public, everywhere, starkly now and she doesn’t know how to react sometimes. I listen, respond to questions, and this stuff is emotionally intoxicating to her. She asks… Read more »

Novaseeker
Novaseeker
5 years ago

There are men within the ‘sphere who actually want relationship and connection with a woman and yet there is also all this shaming, doxxing, abuse, as if they are totally whupped, traitors to the cause, as if the most shameful thing they can ever do is to just admit that. That’s not healthy and Roosh is a good example, he’s become a victim of his own ideology. But not here, though. Surely you noticed the massive dust-ups between the “YSGs” and the “OMGs” here in the last 6-12 months? The OMGs “won”, in terms of who stayed here and comments… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Playdontpay

Never mind Anonymous Reader… he keeps making claims like this but hasn’t backed up anything…

Here is the detail you seek…

https://newlyaloof.wordpress.com/2016/12/02/sentients-dynamic-passionate-authentic-framework/

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

“I could explain what this is about but not understand it for you.” Women cannot understand it. Their point of reference is the Women’s Circle. Liz comes close, because she tries and is in the right environment to do so, but she can only do so intellectually. She can’t feel what a man feels. It’s like quantum mechanics. It can be described empirically and certain predictions made based on that description, but what those empirical descriptions “mean” is beyond understanding. There is no point of reference with the phenomena. The Women’s Circle exists because women have a single, thus common,… Read more »

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

Quite the piece of work:

Blaximus
5 years ago

The 2nd video kfg posted above, the warning to Niko, I always have issues with guys that blather on in the fashion the speaker does. IMO, he sounds crazy as fuck with his horrifying absolutist diatribe.

If this is an example of the more militant side of mgtow, whatever Niko’s reasons for going ghost, it seems like the correct decision. I have a massive hard on for bullies.

Regardless, I wish Niko well. He’d benefit from RP before making ( more ) rash decisions.

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

” . . . his horrifying absolutist diatribe.”

If he were actually an absolutist it would be easier to deal with him. At least you’d know where he stands. But he’s actually BP to the core and White Knights ferociously. He’s one big, angry ball of doublethinking cognitive dissonance.

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

There is no Men’s Circle. There are Men’s Guilds. Small units bound together by common purpose. Brothers in arms.

RSD has now also started to call these groups “tribes”…

***https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2H2BfvX3v4

*** to kill link through…

theasdgamer
5 years ago

@Intellect

She asks if there’s a female oriented version of TRM.

Mary Kay cosmetics. Jezebel webmag. Seriously, Phyllis Schlafly did a lot of good work, going all the way to producing arguments aimed at getting rid of 1st stage feminism (women’s right to vote).

theasdgamer
5 years ago

Br’er Fox needs to get off his high horse once in a while and accept that fact that he’s actually human and he has needs that extend beyond the sexual.

Hamsterlation: You need a ReeLayShunShip.

Hamsterdefinition: “Human” = “Feminine”

Standard FI agitprop

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
5 years ago

The Audi comment thread is hilarious.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

Bites
Roosh is a good example of why I keep bringing up values, honor, integrity.

Parrots repeat words they don’t understand, too.

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

“RSD has now also started to call these groups “tribes”…”

I had originally typed in “Tribes” and then redacted it, for essentially the same reason I use the word “Guilds,” rather than the more common “Societies.”

“Tribes” and “Societies” have primary meanings which are inaccurate in context and I wish to avoid the ambiguity with the secondary meaning.

Jack Donovan chose to use “Gangs,” which is accurate, but less precise, because it does not imply purpose.

thedeti
thedeti
5 years ago

“If you ask my ex why she blew it up.. She would have 5 words for you.. “Because He Is An Asshole “Yes.. I was the asshole she wanted for 15 years, and now I’m the asshole she despises.” This is quite typical of women. At The Red Pill subreddit it’s called the “light switch” effect. It’s also part of women’s tactic of immediately rewriting history and creating the New Narrative for the relationship/marriage which she will tell herself to rationalize and hamsterize Why The Relationship Ended. The light switch effect is her ability to remove and erase all the… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

Sentient Never mind Anonymous Reader… he keeps making claims like this but hasn’t backed up anything… False. One counter example is sufficient to demolish a sweeping generalization, that is elementary logic. Men use logic, except when butthurt. Let’s try logic in lieu of further butthurt, Sentient? Counterexample: One more time, just for Sentient: It is quite possible to be dynamic, passionate and authentic but remain blue pill. I know a recently-retired military combat vet who is very dynamic, passionate about his life, and quite authentic. He also is so deep blue pill that I have heard him refer to his… Read more »

Prometheus
Prometheus
5 years ago

Update your copyright statement to reflect 2009-2017.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

Sentient

RSD has now also started to call these groups “tribes”…

Oh, is Jack Donovan now working for RSD? Or did they just reinvent the wheel again?

kfg [Audi commercial]
Audi doubling down on misandry and open gynocentrism may not work out quite the way they expect.

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Let’s try logic

Still waiting… Blue Pill and Red Pill are mindsets…. not equivalent to what I’ve said. The Alpha Triad is attractive to women, because… Alpha is attractive.

What you do with the attraction is totally different… this is the point you keep missing, for what purpose IDK…

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

deti
This is quite typical of women. At The Red Pill subreddit it’s called the “light switch” effect. It’s also part of women’s tactic of immediately rewriting history and creating the New Narrative for the relationship/marriage which she will tell herself to rationalize and hamsterize Why The Relationship Ended.

This conditional, rewriteable memory is a known feature. It is how the War Brides effect works in real time. Call it a vestige of the stone age, but it’s definitely an inborn trait. It can be a feature rather than a bug if used carefully.

Novaseeker
Novaseeker
5 years ago

The Audi comment thread is hilarious.

Haha, yes, apparently the focus groups were all in NYC and LA. Hilarious. Budweiser getting hammered, too. I love to see it.

thedeti
thedeti
5 years ago

“Men are people. As people you need relationship and connection with your Creator and you need relationship and connection with other people. Women actually play a significant role in men’s lives and to pretend as if you can just disconnect from the need for intimacy with women is to be deceived.” No. We WANT intimacy with women. We want and need sex and sexual release with women. But if the only way we can get those things is completely on a woman’s terms, then we can and will do without. I have done that before – been in a relationship,… Read more »

rugby11
rugby11
5 years ago

Prometheus Rollo
You could use ∞

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

Sentient Still waiting… Try reading. Blue Pill and Red Pill are mindsets…. Live a mindset long enough and it becomes a Way of Life. not equivalent to what I’ve said. Yeah, it actually is. You want to go down the neuroplasticity trail, or shall we stick with ordinary talk for now? Dynamic is a state of mind that in time can become a Way of being. I know dynamic men, many are blue pill. Look at businessmen, maybe in sales or product development: dynamic men who get stuff done, but who are totally whipped at home. Passionate is a state… Read more »

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
5 years ago

Authentic synonyms: genuine, real, bona fide, true, veritable.

None describe BP. BP is willful denial. True only in that man’s mind.

Agent P
Agent P
5 years ago

Light switch effect….

“I don’t even know you anymore, who are you?”

or, “You’re a narcissist!”

How many of us has heard that old saw in the midst of unplugging?

AKA, “why did you leave my frame? Fuck this sucks”

theasdgamer
5 years ago

@all

Part of IB’s problem reading Rollo and the comments is that she’s a cat trying to understand dogspeak. Also, she inherently doesn’t get why we dogs go around smelling each other’s butts, howling, racing in circles, barking at strangers, etc. We’re not curious about the latest little mouse tracks in the dirt, mole mounds, and we don’t like to climb trees.

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

I’m not missing anything, but you are. Perhaps the emotional investment you have in coming up with a three-letter term won’t let you see that it isn’t sufficient by itself?

Sufficient to what end… to attraction, as you agree it is… the rest is you preening around something else. “Authentic” carpentry? LOL Dynamism, passion and authenticity are actions, not a mindset.

theasdgamer
5 years ago

@Sentient

Is there anything in DPA that requires that a man have some understanding of women or that guarantees that he will have useful mating skills (at least naturals have mating skills, even if they don’t understand them)?

Some workable Game is required. DPA by itself isn’t enough. DPA builds value, but other things are required, like no Oneitis. Blue Pill thinking inhibits understanding women. Ton will tell you about lots of men he knows who are DPA but are clueless about women and get played by women.

Anonymous Reader is winning the argument.

SJB
SJB
5 years ago

As people you need relationship and connection with your Creator . . .

You do not get the joke starting in Gen. 2:18 passim to Jn 1:13.

SJB
SJB
5 years ago

: I cannot overcome the urge to bark at cats — perhaps I was born that way.

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
5 years ago

“I cannot overcome the urge to bark at cats — perhaps I was born that way.”

One of my better lifetime weekends was tagging along with my redneck friends and their shorthair Jaegerhund terriers, cleaning out barns of unwanted vermin, most entertainingly cats, raccoons. You’d think they were born that way…well yeah, they were.

These dogs were a sight to behold, ruthlessly killing all, never ceasing until they were satisfied with a job well done.

SJB
SJB
5 years ago

@EhIntellect: didn’t know about that breed; those are good looking dogs. Powerful, compact, and sleek.

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
5 years ago

I’ve seen one clamped onto a bears ass suspended 10 ” off the ground. Awesome. I see the name is Jagdhund terrier. The name I used must be a local colloquialism.

newlyaloof
5 years ago

@EhIntellect, In the past, I’ve seen some mutt terriers that certain farmers rent from professional vermin extraction teams. Those dogs are as muscular and big as they can be to still fit down the ground hog holes. And when they find ANYTHING, they are vicious without end. As you said, it’s something that, if you’re not used to seeing this level of violence, can shock you. I imagined that if these dogs ever happened to latch onto me, I’d have to kill them to get them to stop biting. Funny, the guys gave you the advice of not acting like… Read more »

TuffLuv
TuffLuv
5 years ago

@thedeti fuckin exactly

insanitybytes22
5 years ago

“And when they find ANYTHING, they are vicious without end. As you said, it’s something that, if you’re not used to seeing this level of violence, can shock you.”

So, when we create a culture that does not teach men about masculinity as a set of values, as a path of honor and integrity, it is women who often wind up becoming the rodents and vermin you are trying to exterminate from the barn. I have seen that level of violence many times and no it doesn’t shock me anymore, I wish it did.

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