Mid-Life Crisis

After watching last Friday’s video a few times I thought about how ironic it is that a man should be made to feel infantile, or “less than responsible” for indulging in his own wants. For certain a surprise sports car purchase may be an extreme example, but sometimes over-exaggeration is necessary to illustrate a larger point. That larger point is the nature of defacto personal and social control women exercise over men. It’s part of the feminine Matrix to think that ‘responsibility’ should be uniquely framed in what best serves the feminine. We literally don’t know any other way to interpret it most of the time.

When a man begins to ‘go rogue’ the feminine imperative has many pre-established social conventions to mediate this. Obviously designating ‘responsibility’ to serve the feminine frame is the social control, but there are other powerful conventions that the imperative uses. One of these is the Myth of the Mid-Life Crisis.

A lot of hokey comedies have been produced covering mid-life crises. Usually the main characters are cast as overweight schlubs trying to recapture their by-gone days. In real life men are ridiculed, usually around age 40, for losing their mojo and acting ‘irresponsibly’ or ‘erratically’ in some silly gesture of reclaiming his independence. However, this masculine shaming hides a more desperate latent purpose for the feminine.

The SMV Crossover

The most stereotypical mid-life crisis occurs for a man around age 40. It’s important to remember that a man’s SMV really begins to peak between 38-42. It’s at this point that men have the best chance to truly unplug from the Matrix; and it is also at this point that the Threat of a man becoming self-aware of his now fully developed SMV has it’s greatest urgency for women to repress him from realizing it. Even life-long blue pill men generally come to an understanding that their wive’s SMV has dropped and their own SMV is greater. For the first time in his relationship history, he faces the Cardinal Rule of Relationships from his own perspective – women need him more than he needs women.

The feminine imperative has come to expect this awakening. In decades past, before there was a formalized Game, before there was the connectivity we have today, the feminine imperative relied upon social controls that limited a man’s becoming aware of his SMV. Through pop-culture and mass media men were taught to expect this ‘crisis’, even enlisting men to promote the idea. However, the imperative cast the ‘crisis’ as irresponsible and juvenile. It relied upon the time-tested shaming of masculinity in the hopes men would self-regulate when the time came that his SMV outclassed that of the women in his life. So we got hokey movies, and ridicule of men wanting to trade-up their wives for ‘trophy wives’.

Mid-Life Awareness

Probably the most common story I experienced when I did peer counseling back in Nevada was the disillusioned married guy. Most of these guys were professionals, mid to late 30′s and all their stories were the same; “I feel like I’ve done everything anyone ever expected of me for the past 10-15 years and I get no appreciation for it.” These guys “did the right thing” and either their wive’s were unresponsive to them or they still viewed these men as a “fixer upper” project that they were constantly working on.

This experience is what helped me to better understand the myth of the Mid-Life Crisis. Men, in most western culture’s do in fact experience a mid-life crisis, but this isn’t due to the trivialized and oft ridiculed by pop culture reasoning. Women, and feminization, would have us believe that men experiencing a mid-life crisis need to buy a sports car or divorce their wives in favor of a ‘trophy wife’ due to some repressed need to recapture their lost youth. This of course fits into the feminized myth that men are egoisitic, simple creatures and masculinity is infantile in nature, but this only serves to reassure women that they “still got it” at 40.

The truth about men’s mid-life crises isn’t about recapturing youth, it’s about finally understanding the trappings they’ve been sold into through their 20′s and 30′s and coming to terms with that often horrible truth. Some men do in fact buy the sports car, get the new hottie wife or act in some fashion that appears reckless and irresponsible. This isn’t due to infantilism, but rather new understanding of their own position as men. They’ve “lived responsibly” for so long and for so little appreciation that when that true realization is made they feel the need to move. They’ve become respected, put in the hours, the sacrifice, the censoring of their own views. They realize now that they’ve sold off true passions in favor of maintaining what others have told him was his responsibility – whether it was his choice or not. And all for what? A fat wife? A shrew? Maybe even a fantastic marriage and a wonderful family life, but also a nagging doubt about not seeing enough of the world by 40 because of it.

I worry about men who don’t come to this crisis, these are the men who are truly lost. These are the guys who remain life long AFCs, happy in their ignorance.


98 responses to “Mid-Life Crisis

  • taterearl

    Well in that case…I’ve unplugged about 10 years early. I look forward to having fun in my early 30s.

  • Wald

    Would you advocate then, getting married in your late 30s, early 40s, as that is when one would be most aware of his SMV, and therefore can make the best choice in who to marry?

    ["The appropriate age for marriage is around eighteen for girls and thirty-seven for men." – Aristotle]

  • muscleman

    Anything that’s a large deviation from the norm (unplugging) will be viewed as a crisis. And it is a crisis – for women. Like a child realizing stomping their feet no longer gets them candy, women realizing they don’t have the same control they used to is a terrifying thought.

    I believe the purpose of the community at large is to make this ‘crisis’ happen sooner rather than later, which is what’s behind not committing to any woman until you’ve matured – this way you have plenty of time and opportunity to find yourself, see the matrix, and realize your own worth much sooner than your natural SMV peak would dictate.

  • Good Luck Chuck

    Even aside from the feminine angle, people are conformist creatures. Anything that deviates from the standard script is subject to question.

    If I were a recently divorced former mini van driving soccer dad people would take a lot more interest in me buying toys and fucking younger women, but since I am a single businessman who has been driving sports cars and banging younger women since forever, people don’t even bat an eye when I date women in their 20′s and buy a motorcycle at age 40.

    If you maintain a high SMV and thumb your nose at societal expectations your whole life you get a free pass.

  • M3

    Anytime men do anything without thinking of how it will help/affect/benefit a woman.. it’s squandered effort, a waste of resources.

    At least according to most women.

    The new rules of the matrix, build yourself up while we have fun at our best, then lock us down just as you’re entering your best while we’re fading fast, and don’t you dare think of entertaining your options now that you got them you filthy pig. Won’t someone please think of the children?!?!

    Ps- nice pic. fast car and slender midriff in jeans ftw. belly button piercing means she’s pretty much dtf.

  • Martel

    Chuck perfectly one of the Matrix’s greatest ironies. If you live in the Matrix but recognize it as being the Matrix, you benefit from it far more than its architects.

  • Xavier

    I think I’ve become aware of this in my early 20 when I was seeing all thoses guys at work married to ugly fat women when the could easily score a nice 6 or 7 without much game at all. Now Im almost 30, still spinning plate and having so much fun in my life. Doing sports, making money and always fucking a nice chicks.

    Most friends and guys at work don’t get it. Only thing Im wondering is the best age for having childrens cause I’m starting to want some…

  • ar10308

    Interestingly enough, what a woman will spend on designer heels and purses from the age of 20 up to 40, could get you one hell of a sports car.

  • Days of Broken Arrows

    Great piece.

    The way we define things with words marks them beyond what they intrinsically mean (i.e. calling something “hate speech,” etc.). So the very phrase “mid-life crisis” was devised to make male transitions into late adulthood seem negative.

    Why was this done? What was the agenda? I think you’ve nailed it. What we need to do now is come up with another phrase that redefines this transitional period in a man’s life. Any ideas? I was thinking something along the lines of “cashing in,” or moving on up.

    Midlife ascension?

  • Emma the Emo

    I’ve seen a few of those. It’s when the man starts to get anxious and feel like he could have gotten a better woman (those I have seen do it). Woe to the wife who has a husband experiencing it.

  • FuriousFerret

    ‘Woe to the wife who lets herself go and blows up into a land whale’.

    Fixed it for you.

  • Martel

    Of course we never talk about the female midlife crisis.

    They were about twenty years too early, but Faith No More’s song “Midlife Crisis” was written about Madonna, who seems to be going through her own midlife crisis of sorts lately. All the flashing and obnoxious statements, and nobody gives half a shit anymore.

    “Look at me!” No heads turn. Looks like a crisis to me.

  • Dillon

    Doing “the right thing” and expecting appreciation is a very bad business move, no matter if you get appreciated or not.

    Because even when someone shows appreciation, its just to encourage you to continue doing the acts that benefit them while thinking of you as a chump in the back of their head. Its a trap and the bait is your desire to be appreciated.

    You are just getting scammed because of your own weakness.

  • Nick

    Go figure, what the fem matrix calls a “crisis” is in fact an “awakening”! Thank God that I swallowed the red pill at 28. At first I was kicking myself for having wasted over a decade on being a beta chump, but now I see I’m still years away from hitting my true potential. And o irony of ironies, by going through this “crisis” so much earlier, I’ll better understand women, learn what I want and if I get married my wife will be that much happier for it because she’ll know who’s boss! (my favorite quote from a girl about my approach, since I started learning game, “that’s boss, you’re boss”, may it be so for many men..)

  • Hopeless Romantic

    “After watching last Friday’s video a few times I thought about how ironic it is that a man should be made to feel infantile, or “less than responsible” for indulging in his own wants. For certain a surprise sports car purchase may be an extreme example, but sometimes over-exaggeration is necessary to illustrate a larger point. That larger point is the nature of defacto personal and social control women exercise over men. It’s part of the feminine Matrix to think that ‘responsibility’ should be uniquely framed in what best serves the feminine. We literally don’t know any other way to interpret it most of the time.”

    No, for married men its uniquely framed in what best serves THE FAMILY.

    For men who want to live irresponsibly they have the choice of not becoming fathers. That’s what abstinence, condoms and vasectomies.
    are for.

    Once you make that leap into fatherhood, all bets are off.

    [Unfortunately Hypergamy doesn't end after fatherhood. You really need to read these posts: The Feminine Reality, Fem-Centrism and The Feminine Mystique]

  • Ballie

    I’ve been through that, when I got divorced 5 years ago @ 50. Was a hell of a coaster ride. Before I was an AFC, found SoSauve and the Manosphere and it all changed. Before I swallowed the “Red Pill”, I did some self destructive behaviour……… Well, losing your family, house, dreams, etc. Tends to do that.
    Now, 5 years later, my life has stabilised. I have my own business and have cut out any uneccessary expenses that a family demands. Become a born again batchelor – with a lady friend, that I see on the weekends.
    I have a lot of friends, in their 50′s who have either been divorced, or never been married and don’t either need or want a women.
    The “mid life crisis”, I believe is as you say. A man realises that he has spend the best time of his life chasing the illusion of your “American dream” which has proved to be futile. His kids are grown up and flown, his wife does not want him (and he does not lust after her either!!).
    Any way, our supposably “crisis” is a fraction what they go through when they experience menopause (which I call “Mad cow” decease). Maybe they like to project their crisis to men as well – the so called “Manopause” which is a lot of bullsh*t.
    Wish I could afford the young blond and the Porsche though….

  • Emma the Emo

    FuriousFerret,
    I wish it was that simple, but some women are unlucky and their efforts to stay thin and young don’t pay off anyway (one guy I knew did this, and when switching women, didn’t even trade up… Lol, he didn’t think far enough, he could date women half his age.. wasn’t some celebrity either). But I think that’s just bad luck.

  • IrishFarmer

    The problem with a mid-life crisis isn’t the effect it has on women, but about what’s going on internally in the man.

    For some, the mid-life crisis is a way of trying to make up for lost time. In this sense, the problem isn’t that they’re having a crisis, but that they feel they lost that time.

    If a man has accomplished nothing truly glorious in his lifetime (yes, glorious), and he has had the means (if he’s middle to upper-middle class then he has the means) then the problem is that he really did waste his male potential. If possible, men need to start buying the sports cars in their 20s, start learning instruments and trying to write music in their 20s, start their own business in their 20s. Start and lead a family in their 20s. How much of a mid-life crisis can you really truly have at 40 when you’ve used your potential as best you could have?

    So, I disagree. I still think that a mid-life crisis is a problem, but it’s a problem for the men. It is years of regret as you say, but the problem isn’t to embrace the crisis, rather to not waste your youth drinking and accomplishing nothing.

    By all means, drink and accomplish nothing, but do it only during the downtime you have between actually using your male potential to its fullest.

    So I still think a mid-life crisis is a warning that something went awry in your youth. But I don’t know, I haven’t hit my mid-life crisis point yet. I started buying sports cars and learning instruments and starting a business in my early to mid 20s, and I don’t plan to stop moving forward anytime soon and I’m not 40 yet so we’ll see….

  • Hero

    I read something interesting (can’t remember where) that said a mid-life crisis is really a fertility crisis with the other partner.

    This would support your post, Rollo. When the woman has become undesirable by getting fat or old or going through menopause then the man has a mid-life crisis.

    Sounds about right to me.

  • Grit

    Do you see self-censorship for 40 years as requirement for 40 year marriage? Dads are guilty by association: they made their beds with a tacit acceptance of feminism/ the feminine imperative. Do dads accept that their daughters are going to have some douche’s penis inside her?

    My father is right in there. He has been suffering sleeplessness, restlessness, and unhappiness at his age. I took the red pill and have no delusions. I have no money, but i have no delusions. He has lots of money and delusions- lots to lose by accepting a reevaluation of his SMV.

    Overall, it makes millenials more mature then the previous generation. I wouldnt hesitate to teach my sons about game. I wouldnt hesitate to passively teach them dark triad traits. My father has been silent his whole life toward his sons in that respect.

  • 3alpha

    Church….. Once you disconnect and see the patterns that bio mechanics portray, your world gets easy, both personal and professional. Corporations are organisms too, and define the underlying structure..masculine or feminine, then either use emotion or reason to overcome its corrollary. 37 and I nail 23 like its 33. Well fed on corporate fear. Life is soooooo sooooo good.

  • Alpha_BetaSpectrum

    What’s to be said about the female mid life crisis, I hear those are killers for men?
    What with the hormones and rewriting history… I’m only 28 but its best to be knowledgable, to thwart off future upheaval.

    [The Wall is women's mid-life crisis]

  • Dreamer

    The last sentence – shouldn’t it say rather than “happy in their ignorance” but something more of “quietly suffering” or “lives in quiet desperation”. If the man lives on happily, then the value of awakening is moot. If he is sacrificing dreams, censoring personal views, giving up true passions, and etcetera, then he is not likely to be living happily.

    Rollo, its brings two questions.

    First, my understanding is you are still under 38 or 40 or something. You realized your SMV and set a deal for what you want rather than realizing you been living for everyone else’s (or the feminine). Does that mean you avoided it because you never sacrifice what you really want for what the feminized society regularly trains people? Or will the crossing/ed of the SMV leads to new implications to your life?

    Second, is application. Your recognition is not what society explained the crisis as something selfish and something to mock because the desire is egotistic and simple in nature. Rather than the true complexity and depth that actual exists and the desire to finally go what is truly desire or at least what is closest to his reach.

    If the crisis is partially stems from living responsibly – or in other words – living to what everyone else expects than what one desires, then how is that best applied? How does one know if a certain path is truly the path truly desired than merely sacrificing it for what is expected? There must be a better overarching principle. Honestly, it seems sometimes the only answer is pure contrarian and refusal of marriage. Obviously it is missing the point to be contrarian just to be so. And I think there’s more to it than just never marrying as some takes from the manosphere.

  • anon

    Another generous serving of refined and forbidden knowledge pertaining to a higher plane of existence. Over time I have come to regard this manosphere blog above all others for the keen insight and relevant topics. Hats off.

  • Hopeless Romantic

    Grit,
    “I wouldnt hesitate to teach my sons about game. I wouldnt hesitate to passively teach them dark triad traits….. Do dads accept that their daughters are going to have some douche’s penis inside her?”

    With douches like your sons running around, they have to accept it.

  • Hopeless Romantic

    ” In decades past, before there was a formalized Game, before there was the connectivity we have today, the feminine imperative relied upon social controls that limited a man’s becoming aware of his SMV. Through pop-culture and mass media men were taught to expect this ‘crisis’, even enlisting men to promote the idea. However, the imperative cast the ‘crisis’ as irresponsible and juvenile. It relied upon the time-tested shaming of masculinity in the hopes men would self-regulate when the time came that his SMV outclassed that of the women in his life. So we got hokey movies, and ridicule of men wanting to trade-up their wives for ‘trophy wives’.”

    As someone from a family oriented culture that is looking in on all this from the outside, I wonder where, if ever, the children come in? Do men who trade up for trophy wives take their children to live with him and the trophy wife as step mom in their home? Does he even care about his kids at all? How does it work exactly?

  • Rollo Tomassi

    Be less concerned about wealthy 40 somethings dropping everything and waltzing off with ‘trophy wives’ and be more concerned about the 80%+ of women filing for divorce, taking the kids and walking away with cash & prizes. They’re much more common.

  • Martel

    I’m not married, but for any future wife, I propose a deal:

    I won’t abandon you for a trophy wife and will do my best to consider your welfare. In exchange for this, don’t become a lardass, pay attention to my needs, and don’t try to subject me to anything even closely resembling the castration of a thousand cuts. If I can afford a fancy toy, I’m getting it.

    In short, if I’m going to stay with you when hotties twenty years your junior are coming on to me, it’s going to require more than just a sense of moral obligation or guilt.

    I will love you with everything I’ve got, but I will love you MY way for MY reasons under MY values as defined by MY God. I don’t owe you squat. You might still get it, but you’d best be grateful.

  • FuriousFerret

    @Hopeless Troll,

    I have many co-workers that put their children at the center of everything in their lives. These guys are some of the biggest pussy losers I have ever met. They live through their children because they are spineless and are failures. They are usually fat, gluttonous and boring. They lack respect from others and themselves.

    The great irony is that this whole arrangement backfires on them. You lead by example, as the ultimate male authority figure they are teaching their sons to be giant pussies. Many times, their own sons resent them for being the losers that they are. It’s a common occurence for the majority of teenagers to be embrassed by their old man. When their old man is awesome and not a magina, this guy is held in respect with his own son and his sons friends because it’s an increasing rare occurance. I always remember the cool dads and looking back they were traditional masculine men, they just weren’t a lot of them.

    If you want to have a stable good family, the man should be strong and be king of the house. Just as any good king, he should have displays of power and status symbols as long as it is prudent to his household. This includes sports cars. When a strong central masculine presense is felt the whole family begins to become more orderly and functions at a higher level.

  • Alpha_BetaSpectrum

    lol, @FuriousFerret I agree kids are important but can not be the center of your universe. just as women. Lord knows when those kits grow up you certainly won’t be the center of theirs. This coming from someone with 3 kids

  • Hopeless Romantic

    “In short, if I’m going to stay with you when hotties twenty years your junior are coming on to me, it’s going to require more than just a sense of moral obligation or guilt.”

    The average male will never experience hotties twenty years junior to their wives coming onto them. As for the rest of it, it does sound like monogamy is a strain, for both spouses. Why not just open marriage? That way you can have your cake and eat it too. Win/win.

    “It’s a common occurence for the majority of teenagers to be embrassed by their old man.”

    In your culture perhaps. There are lots of cultures where kids love and are proud of both their parents and even love hanging out with their family, but I will say this, if the parents are old enough to be mistaken for grandparents, there is some embarrassement there for the kids.

    “I have many co-workers that put their children at the center of everything in their lives. ”

    At least its good to hear that there are some westerners who know how to function minimally as parents. From my perspective most people west of the Kazakhistan shouldn’t even entertain the idea for a nano second.

  • Martel

    “The average male will never experience hotties twenty years junior to their wives coming onto them. As for the rest of it, it does sound like monogamy is a strain, for both spouses. Why not just open marriage? That way you can have your cake and eat it too. Win/win.”

    The average male, no. However, here in our disintegrating society, it is each man’s duty to become an alpha. As a beta, no matter how wonderful your beliefs may be, you won’t be able to enforce them, and you’re right about the women. If you’re an alpha, you will have younger women coming onto you. I’ve barely stepped into this red pill stuff and it’s happening to me already.

    As far as open marraige goes, I know it’s rough and that no society has ever been perfect, but 1 man/1 woman marraige has been the only thing that’s ever come close to working. Polygamous societies are horribly violent and unstable (no women for any lower status man). Serial monogamy may turn out to be even worse; it’s still too early to tell where we’re headed.

  • The Other Jim

    “I feel like I’ve done everything anyone ever expected of me for the past 10-15 years and I get no appreciation for it.”

    That’s another thing most women don’t get. The amount of individual and cultural discipline it takes to produce men who do “all the right things” eg get married, support the family, fidelity, interest in fatherhood, etc. is tremendous. These traits don’t just happen naturally, it takes a lot of cultural pressure and discipline to make men take up these traits within their civilization. In fact, if men don’t take up these traits you really don’t get anything resembling what we’ve seen come out of Western Civilization.

    That and it also takes tangible and social incentives for men to take up all of these responsibilities. Now that women have discharged their own responsibilities and discipline due to Feminism, hypergamy, female controlled birthing, etc. they have in essence destroyed the incentives for men to do “all the right things”. If all of that is off the table, then so is the cultural pressure for men to keep on doing what they’ve been doing by being good hard-working fathers.

    Absolutely amazing how telling and damning it is for women to not realize what they’re throwing away. Hypergamy doesn’t care about civilization and social stability either.

  • Hopeless Romantic

    “As far as open marraige goes, I know it’s rough and that no society has ever been perfect, but 1 man/1 woman marraige has been the only thing that’s ever come close to working. Polygamous societies are horribly violent and unstable (no women for any lower status man). Serial monogamy may turn out to be even worse; it’s still too early to tell where we’re headed.”

    Those aren’t open marriage. Open marriage is where the spouses put the togetherness of their own family first but allow each other to see other people outside of it. It looks at the collective family unit above the happiness of just either individual spouse. The family home is the hearth, the fort, the stabalizing factor around which the individual spouses spin and from which they gain their support and strength. But they are not naive enough to think they can only have feelings for just one person their entire life and they are not shamed for having those feelings. We can love our kids equally even though they are all different, can’t we? Similarly we have the ability to love or have romantic feelings for others besides our spouses while still loving our spouses.

    Open marriage is also not just about sex. There are platonic relationships outside the marriage also.

    This is a much better model than then sneaking around cheating and then having to divorce when caught, thus breaking up the family.

    Open, honest, happy families is what we should be idealizing. Not an unrealistic notion of one-itis.

  • Hopeless Romantic

    “That’s another thing most women don’t get. The amount of individual and cultural discipline it takes to produce men who do “all the right things” eg get married, support the family, fidelity, interest in fatherhood, etc. is tremendous. These traits don’t just happen naturally, it takes a lot of cultural pressure and discipline to make men take up these traits within their civilization. In fact, if men don’t take up these traits you really don’t get anything resembling what we’ve seen come out of Western Civilization. ”

    Jim’s right. I see this in my own culture where wife and family (extended, not just nuclear) provide men with a safe haven in an otherwise exciting yet chaotic environment. The home and family in it provide a place of comfort where we can relax and breathe easy.

    Maybe the West doesn’t see home and family as haven because outside the doors of their home there is not much chaos so they don’t need a haven of stability and certainty. Its not necessary for you to cling to your family, you will float and not sink whether you do so or not. For many people around the world though they sink without the stability and social networks their family provides for them.

  • The Shocker

    hahahahaha i just came up with the greatest neg ever. When a girl adds you on facebook, ‘like’ a picture of her from YEARS ago back when she was younger and hotter lol

  • Hopeless Romantic

    In addition to what Jim says it might be genetic. If you look at all western European countries and the white anglo or white euro global diaspora, these are people that just do not do family, “he/she’s just not that into it”. Even a 100 years back they were clamoring to break away and go somewhere else, where their families were not and start a “nuclear family” of a very few people of their own. The nuclear family was kind of like a bridge between the very large extended family and what they *really* wanted – to just be alone and independent.

    I mean, you can try to change things but genetically they just might not have evolved for family very well.

  • Vae Victus

    @Shocker et al:

    No man should be on Facebook, it is the female echo chamber.

  • jlw

    One caveat: There is no SMV crossover if you are short, ugly and poor with any measure of standards.

  • XXX

    Personally, I believe that the problems we have with “mid life crises” has to do with the fact that men and women live too long now. Men worried that their missus will get old and fat ? nah, not when she would have been long dead, probably from childbirth. Men worried about not being able to pull young cutie pie chicks with their balding pates and bulging tums ? nah, not when they would have been long dead – probably from war or war wounds.
    When people faced and accepted their own mortality, they experienced their immortality through their children and grandchildren, and were happy for that. Now that people are living longer, having fewer if any children combined with the “me” attitude, it is hardly surprising to see middle aged (and beyond) men and women trying to extend their mortality through never ending youth and the activities that come with it – yes, I mean sex.

  • littlepdog

    The actual scientific cause of mid-life crises is the menopause of one’s spouse. The fancy cars and new toys are attempts by the husband to attract a new, younger, fertile woman. It can happen to any man regardless of how old he is. Look it up.

  • reviewmyonlinedate

    I don’t think people have mid life crisis’ anymore. People who are currently in their 40′s and 50′s. Are having the hardest time right now. When they were growing up, society was telling them how to live then and how to live in the future. Now society is telling them to live a totally different way than what they were told growing up. People are very confused about who they are. Hence, they’re in one life long identity crisis and not just a mid life crisis.

  • Stig

    This is my truth. It’s probably your truth too, and if you don’t recognize it as such it may be you are just arriving at the critical point a little bit later.

    No one could have put it better than that Rollo.

  • Hopeless Romantic

    ” The fancy cars and new toys are attempts by the husband to attract a new, younger, fertile woman.”

    Fancy cars and new toys speak to nothing other than the fact that we’ve got a man here who watches TV, follows pop culture, and is putty in the hands of Big Corporate.

    OK, I concede that’s your average American male.

    (Female lurkers: travel, expatriate, there’s a whole wide world of interesting men out there who come from actual cultures – you know those quaint things Americans study about at universities? Yeah those.)

  • Mark Minter

    I’m starting to use Microsoft Word to compose comments. I recommend it. Not only does it spell check, but also it does syntax and semantic checking. Perhaps I can compose better comments. I get so into what I am writing emotionally, I will hit the “send” button a little too early when I should have proofread more. I fucking hit it and scream “Yeah, Take that!! you bitches. There’s a new motherfucking sheriff in town now. HA!!!!” So Word does checking on the fly and maybe I can seem a little more literate.

    I have to concur greatly with this post. I have felt that the whole Mid-Life Crisis thing was bullshit, at least from the explanation that is so generally accepted by both, men and most especially, by women.

    I read an article some years back where the author was saying that men would experience something in mid-life, a profound depression, possibly due to first realizations of mortality, that you can begin to actually sense the finite nature of life, that you can actually visualize yourself dying. And he ended the article with a warning to men approaching this age “The black dog is on your trail.” Wikipedia says, “the Black Dog is regarded as a ‘portent of death.’” I think all that is a little strong. But it shows the societal buy in to the whole idea of Mid Life Crisis.

    But this post by Rollo is as good an explanation and as strong a factor as any fear of death or need to recapture youth, to show you still have it. The notion of the Mid Life Crisis is another Femcentric rationalization exercise to shame you into getting back in line. You need to Man Up and Be A Man.

    I get into spats from time to time with my ex-wife, usually in emails. I had one this week. There hasn’t been one in while and this was the first one since I got extremely Red Pill aware and I struck for the jugular in retaliation. The response I got back was so typical in Female Shaming. At first I reacted to it emotionally, and then I just called up the Red Pill. If I had wanted to I could have retaliated with an explosive response. So shaming is exactly those justification, rationalization, and defense mechanisms that women employ to criticize and impugn that which goes against the behavior that they expect and demand from men. It infuriates them when you pull back the curtain and the shaming doesn’t work anymore.

    But thanks to this blog, women can’t pull my chains like they could before. And I can certainly yank on theirs.

    I constantly comment on the idea of a new paradigm, the whole underlying set of filters and rules by which you emote, judge, act because the paradigm that you have if bullshit and works against you. These topics like Middle Age Crazy are exactly those concepts that you need to reform.

    Let me first set some basics. In 2002, I was 47 years old. I was married, two kids, house in Louisville, Colorado, which is an upper middle class suburb of Boulder or Denver, however you wish to look at it. My house was valued at 589,000 at the time of the divorce. We filed income tax on $250,000. I worked in software and she worked as a gas broker, a trader like a stockbroker. We had two young kids, European nannies, 3 cars. Everything revolved around the kids, weekend and weekday activities. I had the kind of credit where you could walk into a dealer, sign a piece of paper, and walk out with a new car. And I was fucking near insane with frustration and anger. I did everything you were supposed to be doing. I get jammed in comments about “your beta ass”. I was doing what you were told by the world that you should be doing. And I wasn’t just standing around saying “Yes ma’am” all of the time. But I did often trade peace for a lost position. So what would have been the alternative in the situation, jacking her ass over every issue, standing my ground all the time? And the rest was just habit, social convention, those things that men do because the world says that men should do them. And we fucking do them because we are good and decent motherfuckers.

    Today I live alone. I earn a fraction of what I did back then. Women are practically absent in my life. I have no desire to enter into any sort of LTR with one and unless some remarkable change in fortune occurs then I do not foresee having another one. Because I have no women in my life after such a long time of having them in my life allows me to see the sacrifices that a man has to make in order to have one in his life. It takes so little for me to be happy without that stress of women, their demands, what it takes to get them and keep them.

    The difference in me now and then is remarkable. I am genuinely much, much more content today that I was then and by any external judgment of my life today compared to back then, I would easily be considered a failure. I am healthier, much less angry, and in a far better mood most of the time. People would have described me as angry back then and many that read my comments today would say the same. But I don’t feel that way. I feel strongly about creating a new consciousness in men about the reality of women, and of Femcentric society (Femcentric gets a spell checker red line underneath it. It still doesn’t exist as a word yet).

    So there is anything that a reader should take from this blog and from the Red Pill is it is “You make a tremendous sacrifice by entering in a Long Term Relationship with a women. And that sacrifice is far greater than you are conditioned to believe. You give your freedom, your effort, your heart, and I can tell you, a tremendous amount of material and financial resources and assets.”

    And I can also tell you emphatically. IT WILL GO UNAPPRECIATED. IT IS EXPECTED. IT IS DEMANDED. IT IS THE PRICE OF EVEN SITTING AT THE TABLE.

    Now, eventually many of you will get to where I am at, where that circuitry that causes to you desire and wish to have women in your life gets fucking fried, where you cross the line that that last betrayal, that last bullshit selfish bitch, that last episode of dealing with them that will make you choose that it is better to be without them.

    Or you can find The Middle Way. And I use that Buddhist term for a reason. Buddhism isn’t a religion. Buddha wasn’t a god or a prophet. He was a dude with an idea that came to him after living life as a rich prince then rejecting that, he lived as a poor beggar monk.

    And these are the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism:

    -Life is suffering

    -We suffer because of our desire and craving

    -There can be a cessation of suffering: it is the remainderless fading away and cessation of that same craving, the giving up and relinquishing of it, freedom from it, nonreliance on it.

    -There is the way leading to the cessation of suffering: it is the Eightfold Path; that is, right view, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness and right concentration.

    Now substitute the word “suffering” with “suffering because of women” and there you have the end to your suffering.

    And the Eightfold Path is Game.

    So I said this before. Let me get a little technical. There is the real and there is abstraction. The way you deal with abstraction is to create a frame with an underlying metaphor, a comparison to another thing that might be real or to a subsequent abstraction. If I would say “Freedom”, it would evoke an entirely different to a liberal as it would in a conservative and thus, they have no common ground to find agreement.

    So this post shows that some abstractions like “Mid Life Crisis” gets stacked on abstraction, which is further stacked upon more abstractions like “obligation”, “responsibility”, “maturity” and you look at any of those words and see a Femcentric influenced abstraction in each of them.

    And that is why I continually preach that the LTR is no good for you. You cannot trust that the abstractions in your head will not fail you at some time and cause you to accept treatment and expectations that you should not, to make decisions or take actions that you should not.

    The LTR is a game that even if you even if you don’t lose, you still lose. You have been so conditioned not to see what you have lost, and not to see the true price that you have paid, are paying, and will pay.

    It all starts when you are boy and it carries on your whole life. You are herded like cattle into male situations that you believe are what you should do. Both the carrot and stick are used against you to push you and keep you into those situations. It is point of pride for men that most STEM university degrees are earned by men. And those degrees require greater effort, dedication, thought, and capability than others. And I would argue that many of those men are pushed into those degree programs and they complete them because they feel they have no other option. While I was going to engineering school and I would get fed up with the work, the pressure, the not seeing the ground on the way to take a final because my head was scooping from studying and staying in the highest level of abstractions possible, I knew I had no other choice. If I ever left then the money pressure from women would push me right back into it. There would always be that ubiquitous question from them, “What do you do?” I never had another alternative; at least I was conditioned to believe that. The thought of not finishing would make me sick to my stomach with fear. And everything I did from what I ate, to how I dressed, the music I listened to, to the cars I drove was all based and driven by some Femcentric notion that I would be judged worthy or not by women.

    And fuck you. Don’t you fucking “beta ass motherfucker” me. Every one of you has to admit the same fucking thing.

    You don’t have to go there. You don’t have to do it. Follow Game Buddhism.

    So I say this over and over. Until you gain the right consciousness, to understand which values in your head are conditioning from the Femcentric Female Imperative, then rely on Game, the fundamental and basic rules of game. Learn to approach. Learn to give yourself options other than the LTR. Walk on relationships readily and promptly. Never submit. Never marry. Never be afraid to leave and do leave. Set a 90 day limit. Then get the fuck out.

    With time, education, exposure, awareness, and true contemplation, the real will make itself apparent from abstract conditioning. Or you can just go along with scam like you have been taught to do.

    You are the prize. Your freedom and sanity is the price you will pay for an LTR. You are the one making the real sacrifice and let me tell you, it is a great sacrifice that you make. I have made it and I no longer choose to make it. And by not making it and seeing the benefits of not making it, then I can tell you that it truly is a great sacrifice that you will make if you enter into an LTR with a woman.

    She does you no favor and she really favors you by not picking you.

    Fuck women. In every sense that phrase entails.

  • themaraudingmongol

    “but also a nagging doubt about not seeing enough of the world by 40 because of it.”

    And this is the fear that every young guy should be afraid of.
    Not the fear of failure, or rejection, or poverty, or whatever.

    This.

    Thanks, Rollo.

  • FuriousFerret

    Well Word fucked you this time Mark.

    It posted your essay twice in a row.

    In seriousness that’s probably a good idea, because this comment box seems to screw up your sense of grammar and proportion.

  • Hopeless Romantic

    Mark, gaming women and sleeping around actually results in the suffering that Buddha talked about. Its not a middle path at all.

    On the other hand although I don’t know the specifics of your situation I can agree with the gist about being happier alone without the strife that a romantic, whether married or not, relationship brings with it by force of its very nature.

    As a woman I experienced a lot of stress and anxiety in a LTR, not least of which was wasting time and spending hard earned money on things like waxes. Beyond grooming, hygiene, healthy eating and regular exercise there isn’t much more that any human, male or female, should have to invest in their looks. Its all excess and waste beyond that, yet there is pressure on us to shave, tweeze, wax, etc. And the waxing isn’t just under the lower half of the legs anymore, if you get what I’m saying.

    Now that I’m free of having to invest excessive time and money in such shallow things, I have never been happier or more pleasant to be around.
    Even other men comment to me on my personality telling me what a joy I am to be around. Now no doubt if I were in a relationship with any one of them he would then nag me about stray eyebrow hairs, natural under arms and even my glorious pelty bush as talked about in the Dear Woman parody video, pressuring me to spend time and money getting rid of all of that. And to what end? And for what?

    Basically that’s the mid life crises western people go through. Reaching middle age and realizing you wasted your time and money on superficial bullshit like waxing (whether its your nether regions or your car).

    If you’re going to go all Eastern Wisdom on us here, Mark, take it to its limit. Detach from samsar and attain moksha.

  • The Shocker

    Wtf are you talking about dont be on facebook are you all fucking troglodytes. Female echo chamber wtf. You go on facebook to check out body shots of girls you meet to make sure they’re hot. Accept friend request, look for bikini pics. Tell girls thats how you use facebook. You can whip out your phone in a bar while you’re talking to a girl and say, hey add me real quick i want to see a bikini pic of you, i cant tell if you’re hot. Female echo chamber hahaha r your balls female handwarming devices Lol

  • YaReally

    “First you have to know…not fear, KNOW…that someday you’re gonna die.”

    I won’t have a mid-life crisis because I already live my life the way I want, for myself, and I’m on my path. Once I swallowed the red pill I stopped trying to live the life society told me I should live.

    If you life your life with no regrets, settling down becomes a conscious choice rather than an unexpected cage.

    Incidentally this is also part of how I set up Open Relationships with women. I tell them I’m not done with this stage of my life yet and I need to get it out of my system so I’m not the balding fat old man buying a Ferrari and macking on 20yos at 45 lol a LOT of women, especially in this Eat Pray Love day and age where they’re encouraged to do exactly that, are very understanding of this viewpoint and a number of then will actually try to wait for you to be done with it and decide to seriously settle down…

    Whether that’s a fool’s errand on their part or not depends on the individual guy and whether he wants to settle one day or not, I choose to be honest and tell them I don’t see it happening anytime soon because I don’t like to lead them on and waste their man-finding years as they approach The Wall (the 25+yo girls)…that’s just mean.

  • BC
  • Dillon

    @Hopeless Romantic

    Actually it may be you who is misunderstanding “Eastern wisdom”.

    No time that you spend doing what you want to do is wasted.

    If one spent much effort and time on waxing, pimping the car or sleeping around because one felt like it, it was the right thing to do at the time. It was not bullshit at all. When one grew out of it and didn’t feel like doing it, to continue doing it is foolish. Now it becomes bullshit.

    Same concept can be applied to relationships. To stay even if you don’t feel like being in it anymore is foolish, no matter what.

    Furthermore it is also foolish to think that eastern societies are somehow more ethical, moral or smart to shun independence and embrace family structure. They do it because that’s what works for them. You gotta have family and friend safety net to survive over there. Not in the west because the state takes care of the safety net so we can all be free and independent. When eastern communities gain western style safety net they start becoming just as atomized as us, like Japan.

    No way is better or worse, it just is and comes with its own pros and cons. Once all consequences are analyzed one must do what one thinks will work for one’s own best interest at any given place and time.

  • xsplat

    Ya, spinning a man returning to the dating market as a “crisis” is quite the political maneuver. Women act as if they are each a rep for the pussy union, and as if every event that impacts them is a political discussion. I swear they have a hive mind and can tune in to each others propaganda messages wirelessly.

    Man: Damn, that 16 year old is hot.
    Girl: You’re a pedophile! You want to fuck her, don’t you! Shreak! Shreak! Shreak!
    Man: Jeesus, what do I have to do to shut you up? No! I don’t want to fuck her. Just shut up already!

    Man: I’m finally coming into my own, and I’m getting bored hanging out with this old broad, day after day. I need me some fresh tang. I need a new romance. That waitress has an that needs attention.
    Girl: You’re being immature! A man your age should put to rest all those feelings, and focus on being old. Don’t forget – you’re OLD! Old, old old old old. Don’t act anything but old. And you’re old.
    Man: … Oh ya? We’ll see how old I am.
    Girl: Shreak! Shreak! Shreak!

    Men don’t have any crisis. At some point or another, we simply realize that we want to get back into the dating market. It can happen in our twenties, thirties, forties. Sooner or later we realize that it’s never too late, and we are never too old, and we just start dating again.

  • xsplat

    The funny thing is, that many women have a higher socio-sexual score than do men. That is to say they want long term monogamy less than men.

    On our forums we notice these differences in men’s sexual strategies. There are the men who prefer to pump and dump, the men who prefer to spin plates, the men who prefer serial and parallel monogamy, and the men who prefer lifetime monogamy. These are are different socio-sexual predispositions – how comfortable we are without commitment when we fuck.

    Some guys prefer more commitment than does the average women. The low socio-sexually oriented men are the family men, whose main problem in the dating market is keeping a girl as long as he wants. For him, divorce is the main threat to his life and sex strategy.

    But other guys are more about the “mid-life crisis”, or in better words, about perpetually feeling that they are prone to being back on the dating market. They never really settle down. They might act settled down, but they always feel that one foot is still on the gas pedal, and on the dance floor, and on that business trip away from the missus. One foot is never growing old, and is always up for a little something.

    That there is a shift in attitude between being in or out of the dating market happens most strongly after guys have been pussy whipped for a while. For the more socio-sexually liberal guys, you don’t notice it as much – they always seemed like players. A guy cutting loose after being a diligent family man is going to feel the friction of his competing interests more than a Don Draper. Did Don ever have a mid life crisis? No, he just had a life.

  • D-Man

    Click the link in the above post: the banner ad is for a jewelry company. It shows a picture of a diamond ring with the copy:

    She is my Everything

    The Center of my Universe

    …they’ve even trademarked the phrase “The Center of my Universe”…

    C’MON MAN!

    This is what we are talking about, the level of brainwashing.

    It’s normal in our society to condition men to be expected to forfeit the very CENTER of their UNIVERSE, for fuck sake?

  • Will

    @D-Man

    “She is my Everything

    The Center of my Universe”

    In other words She/Woman is the Mans God/Deity.

  • OlioOx

    to Mark Minter:

    I posted somewhere else not long ago “Attention Mark Minter! Read Esther Vilar’s The Manipulated Man” etc. But now I see it’s totally unnecessary for you to read it; you’ve lived it, realized it, and now nothing in that book would be new to you at all. For laughs you might want to skim through it to see how a German-Argentinian woman in 1971 voiced all that you learned the hard way about marriage:

    http://www.2shared.com/document/FNyulwEI/Esther_Vilar_-_The_Manipulated.html

    – your new interpretation of Buddhism deserves to be quoted all over the internet and I suspect it will be. Here is a gratuitous edit for your consideration:

    *************************************************************************
    Mark Minter and Buddha present: ‘The Way of Game’ or ‘Game Buddhism’

    These are the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism:

    -Life is suffering [because of women]

    -We suffer because of our desire and craving [for women]

    -There can be a cessation of suffering [because of women]: it is the remainderless fading away and cessation of that same craving, the giving up and relinquishing of it, freedom from it, nonreliance on it.

    -There is the way leading to the cessation of suffering [because of women]: it is the Eightfold Path; that is, right view, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness and right concentration.

    -The Eightfold Path is Game.

    ********************************************************

  • OlioOx

    Off topic but I’m in a jam, could anyone help me? For some reason, I’ve been trying for months, I cannot post anything to Chateau/Heartiste/Roissy blog; there is no ‘moderating’ response, anything I try just disappears; and all my emails go similarly unacknowledged. Could someone with a pipeline to Roissy and his gang ask why OlioOx is given the Extreme Automatic Shitcan Filter?

  • Marcellus

    Monkeys have a “midlife crisis” too. The matrix is strong…

    http://www.pnas.org/content/early/2012/11/14/1212592109

  • chrisdavies09

    ^^^ I already posted the monkey story a few comments previously. But thanks anyway.

  • Tam the Bam

    Alpha_BetaSpectrum:
    “What’s to be said about the female mid life crisis, I hear those are killers for men?”
    Seems it’s finally been deployed … as an excuse for an unavoidable compulsion to adultery and pedophilia.

    “Neely, meanwhile, told police the 16-year-old boy kept asking her for sex. Noting “midlife crisis” feelings, Neely thought if she had sex with the teen he would stop asking.”
    If she what? … he would wha-a-at??
    “Yeah, well I didn’t even like the kid, so it doesn’t count. Well not the first few times anyway. He made me do it yeronner.”
    Comedy gold, the hamster has truly roared.

  • anonymous

    Men experience midlife crisis when they no longer attract
    female attention. It’s not a trap; it’s a loss.

  • itsme

    As a woman

    this whole time, i thought hopeless romantic was a troll. but this makes sense too.

  • Joseph

    I love the aristotle quote. Here is one for explaining politicians and feminism.

    “A tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion. Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler whom they consider god-fearing and pious. On the other hand, they do less easily move against him, believing that he has the gods on his side. (V.1314b39)”

  • Hopeless Romantic

    “Off topic but I’m in a jam, could anyone help me? For some reason, I’ve been trying for months, I cannot post anything to Chateau/Heartiste/Roissy blog; there is no ‘moderating’ response, anything I try just disappears; and all my emails go similarly unacknowledged. Could someone with a pipeline to Roissy and his gang ask why OlioOx is given the Extreme Automatic Shitcan Filter?”

    Olio, did you ever, even once, say anything remotely positive about Black men? If so you’ll be banned for life. Its happened to several female commenters there. Roissy has major Freudian penis envy.

    If you are, for whatever psychological reasons, really jonesing to post at Roissy’s, just use an anonymous proxy. There are several for free on the internet. They will change your IP and then you can post, post, post away, mi mate.

  • Hopeless Romantic

    “First you have to know…not fear, KNOW…that someday you’re gonna die.”

    This fact is taught to children in all the major Eastern wisdom traditions. Probably why those cultures don’t have has many issues with aging and why elders are respected. It seems in the West, North America especially, old people are nada to you guys and you are trying to make up for being unpopular dorks in college at 50. Weird. The last time I talked about being high school was probably my first year of college, and the last time I talked about college was probably when the year after I graduated. Yet the Manosphere is full of old dudes talkin’ about high school and college, still hating on the jocks like 4 decades later.

    GET OVER IT.

  • Hopeless Romantic

    Dillon,
    “Actually it may be you who is misunderstanding “Eastern wisdom”.

    No time that you spend doing what you want to do is wasted.”

    > Can you qoute me which Upanishad you got that from?

    “If one spent much effort and time on waxing, pimping the car or sleeping around because one felt like it, it was the right thing to do at the time….

    Same concept can be applied to relationships. To stay even if you don’t feel like being in it anymore is foolish, no matter what. ”

    > This is not Eastern philosophy at all. Its hedonistic, anti-family, materialistic, fatalistic mindless Western dribble, cooked up by a lost people with no direction or grounding whatsoever which a few may have repackaged as “new age feel good motivational” nonsense.

    “Same concept can be applied to relationships. To stay even if you don’t feel like being in it anymore is foolish, no matter what. ”

    And that right there ^^^ is precisely why your children grow up so unhappy, selfish and confused. Their parents don’t put them first but rather put their own feeeeeeeeeewings ahead of even the well being of their own kids!

    And you wonder why your culture is so fucked up?

  • OlioOx

    Hopeless,

    Thanks for the advice, I believe your account of things is correct. I’d finally started to wonder why no opposing points of view that are ever worth reading appear in the Chateau. The only non-orthodox comments allowed are silly ones, or written by eloquent clowns like Matt/KingA, and the entire comment game there is therefore run for one purpose only: To provide entertainment for Roissy and his staff.

    It’s a shame, because I like to play the devil’s advocate, but people will run their blogs the way they want to. If I had a popular blog, I don’t know if I’d be man enough to withstand repeated shellackings by people who expertly destroyed my arguments. But I can’t see what Roissy is so afraid of; he actually posts nothing that cannot be well defended and argued, inflammatory style notwithstanding.

    Anyway, back to the matter at hand: What is this particular culture of yours that manifests these ‘family values’ you speak of? Are you writing to us from the bosom of that culture’s national home, or rather from an enclave in another nation?

  • gregariouswolf

    Mid life crisis is largely pop psychology. People have crises, obviously. Crises of faith, of identity.

    If a guy is 40-50 and buys a Porsche, he probably would have bought a Porsche when he was 27 but could not afford it. The same goes with an attractive female companion, girlfriend, or wife. What he wants at 45 isn’t significantly different than what he wanted at 25. Only his capacity to attain it.

    Being told he is shallow or immature or going through a phase is a way to shame him into conforming to societal expectations.

    This post spoke to me, thanks RM.

  • jsr

    Curious if you, Rollo, would be willing to contact me via email for a personal question.

  • Rollo Tomassi

    leave me an email address to respond to in the comments on the ‘About’ page.

  • xsplat

    Olio, Roissy used to delay, delete, and even edit my comments on his forum, and I’ve heard of him delaying and deleting other guys too, including Dalrock. He’d get in a conversation with me, then edit and delete my replies. And his responses in the comment section can be strangely snarky.

  • OlioOx

    X, nothing wrong with snarky responses; nothing wrong with the worst most reprehensible responses possible, really, is there, as long as one’s comment appears as one sent it. But the other information you’ve just given me is disturbing. I suspect all is not well in Roissy’s head; the pattern is emerging of someone who has something eating him hard, and whenever anyone grazes the sore spot, he retaliates by destroying that person (in a blog-admin kind of way.)

    I wonder what unresolved problem he has? Hopeless has an idea, as you saw above, that might be part of it. Doesn’t explain the rejection of my kind of comments though.

  • Dillon

    Hopeless Romantic

    > Can you qoute me which Upanishad you got that from?

    No, you do your own homework. (look under “letting go of result of action”)

    This is not Eastern philosophy at all. Its hedonistic, anti-family, materialistic, fatalistic mindless Western dribble, cooked up by a lost people with no direction or grounding whatsoever which a few may have repackaged as “new age feel good motivational” nonsense.
    And that right there ^^^ is precisely why your children grow up so unhappy, selfish and confused. Their parents don’t put them first but rather put their own feeeeeeeeeewings ahead of even the well being of their own kids!
    And you wonder why your culture is so fucked up?

    Sorry but I have first hand intimate experience with eastern as well as western kids. Eastern kids are no less unhappy, selfish or confused than the western ones.

    Western culture is as fucked up as eastern culture, just in a different way because of different choices having been made.

  • TOMTOM

    Mark Minter – you are a legend. And a cult figure on the RooshV Forum. Check it out! You are the best writer around. And I agree with you 100% about the wimminz.

  • TOMTOM

    Here is one of the threads discussing your excellent writing:

    http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-16629-page-1.html

  • Hopeless Romantic

    Dillon,
    “No, you do your own homework. (look under “letting go of result of action”)”

    A complete misinterpretation of niskama- karma-yoga.

    Seriously sometimes I think you people should just stick to Christianity.

  • Chuck Hammer

    Mark Minter
    You make a tremendous sacrifice by entering in a Long Term Relationship with a women. And that sacrifice is far greater than you are conditioned to believe. You give your freedom, your effort, your heart, and I can tell you, a tremendous amount of material and financial resources and assets.”…….And I can also tell you emphatically. IT WILL GO UNAPPRECIATED. IT IS EXPECTED. IT IS DEMANDED. IT IS THE PRICE OF EVEN SITTING AT THE TABLE.

    I’ve been married for 24 years. A couple of years ago I said to my wife that she had never thanked me, not once, for the many millions of dollars I have made and spent supporting her. Her response? A blank look. It wasn’t so much that she didn’t want to thank me, more it had never occurred to her that this was something for which thanks might be due.

    To be fair, her father and stepfather, uber beta providers both, set her a very good (bad) example. To her, money is just something men automatically create. They leave the house in the morning and return every day with their pockets stuffed full of cash. She doesn’t question that money will always be available, sort of like electricity when you flick the light switch.

    She works and early in our marriage she did contribute her (somewhat) fair share to our joint expenses. Her commitment to equality gradually faded until we reached a point where she works largely only to support her interests, primarily her horse(s). I pay for everything else, including her income taxes. [When my kids were young I spent about $300,000 on eight years of full-time nannies.]

    My wife is not a bad person and has been a good mother but I’m very, very tired of being a public utility. She has been so little help to me at crucial points in my life and career that I very seriously considered divorcing her twelve years ago. I didn’t as I love my kids.

    My kids are now either in college or close to it. I would love to be able to look back on our marriage with warm feelings as I remembered how she had supported me through thick and thin. I don’t. Instead I feel a vague resentment as she has been more or less just one more weight I have had to drag along in my 35 year effort to beat the universe into submission.

    I’m starting to think about what I should do with the 20 or 25 years I have left. Those thoughts do not include my wife. But I feel a little bit like a slave contemplating an effort to escape the plantation. After so long in chains, the terrain outside the walls seems foreign, forbidding. This is Stockholm Syndrome, I guess. I would sure like to find someone who knows where I can connect with the Underground Railroad.

  • James

    Thanks for your comment chuck.

    It scares the hell out of me and that is why I think I’ll stay single.

    Best of luck.

  • Hopeless Romantic

    Chuck Hammer, why didn’t you COMMUNICATE through the years your need for financial equality in your marriage? Silence means complicity. If you want something, voice it.

  • Wilf

    Hey Chuck Hammer I can really relate to your comment at 12:00 am. I’ve also been married 20+ years. And we have a couple of young children. Though our situations are different, I find myself seriously re-evaluating where I’m going with the rest of my life due to circumstances both before but moreso after my Red Pill awakening.

    It’s not easy. Thanks for sharing. I feel less alone, and am realizing there must be a lot of us over 40s and long-married guys facing some tough decisions.

  • Chuck Hammer

    Hopeless Romantic
    Chuck Hammer, why didn’t you COMMUNICATE through the years your need for financial equality in your marriage? Silence means complicity. If you want something, voice it.

    Go fuck yourself, bitch. Where did I say i did not communicate? Women are big children and my wife is no different. She figured out as the years passed that she didn’t have to contribute. What was I going to do? Stop paying the mortgage and the health insurance? What’s more, the law in the USA is very clear. Any financial obligations incurred separately by the wife, income taxes for example, are the husband’s responsibility to pay.

    I could have walked away from all of this but I love my kids and I would still have been paying all the bills. Hell, my wife’s stepfather is still paying alimony to a woman he divorced 40 years ago.

    My motto? It could be worse.

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  • AA

    Be warned, this is from the ‘evil’ Eve perspective. It seems that alot of the comments highlight women losing their figures and getting old. Is it possible that the men that are going through midlife crisis are actually projecting their own insecurities on their wives? From what I have observed – most couples eat the same meals – they are both usually overweight or healthy. So if the wife is a ‘fat slob’, what does that say about her husband?

    Also, please bear in mind the majority of younger women dating older men are after financial security, trinkets and gifts. Not all younger women are like this, though with alot of the misogynistic comments on the site – you would have to wonder at the logic of any woman (especially an attractive woman) endearing themselves to men who blame all their wasted years on their former spouse.

    A word to the wise: screwing a younger piece of a** in a brand new sportscar, isn’t going to make the reality of your mortality/inevitable death disappear… It might make it a little more palatable (temporarily) but that eventuality is not going anywhere.

    Perhaps existential and philosophical meditations will make it easier to cope with the reality that your dreams may never come true. You may die and never climb Mt. Everest – we all have to come to terms with that (men and women)….. If you can, skip the sportscar – go and spend the money to climb that mountain.

    Good luck and I hope a different perspective may help someone out on the site.

  • Nutz

    I know I’m late to the party, but I just wanted to throw this out there: the male mid-life crisis is actually a myth. What it is is typically a response to the dwindling fertility of the woman the man is pair-bonded with. What he’s doing is turning on the mate-attraction behaviors to draw in another fertile female. Studies have found that single men don’t have a mid-life crisis, largely because they never stopped those behaviors! Middle aged men with young fertile wives also don’t have what’s classically defined as a mid-life crisis. For every man who hits middle age and gets a sports car and taking up a risky hobby all of the sudden, there’s usually a wife or long-term girlfriend who’s fertility is coming to a close.

  • mickay

    Mark Minter! Thank You so much. Keep sharing your experience. Your experience teaches all the men what to expect in this system in which men are conditioned to lose their freedom for LTR with women, I took a red pill few years ago. Guess what! It is a very liberating experience for me. I am at peace myself. It has brought me a sense of security and stability in my life. Swallowing a red pill is the best thing that can ever happen to men. But sadly most of the men are still blinded by matrix with no hope of awakening and liberation.

  • theonemonk

    @mark Minter

    i see there’s folk here enlightened enough to see beyond “pride”. having pride for being herded into carrying backbreaking loads, doing triple the work, stressing out, selling your health. Do we really believe we’ll be more appreciated?

    having no expectations and not conforming to everyone’s expectations is a path to inner peace, that’s where the good stuff happens
    simplify your life
    when things are simple they’re easy to clean maintain and keep tidy
    you dont want knick knack collecting dust

    elegance and function. living spartan. goal: contentment

  • Killer Queen

    I read this I’m blonde and female aka as very stupid so I was completely confused by SMV is that the same as SUV only for men victims do some weird female matrix or should that be dominatrix. I love angry men … There something endearing about their impotent rage. Red pills do they making you shit .. Reading this has denfitely opened my.,,bowels

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  • Lynda Dykeman

    I would like to call it…selfish bullshit. Grow up. Not all wives are bitches and a drag. In fact, I would be willing to bet most men that go through this full tilt are nothing more than a man child with an easy going wife that they never appreciated. Here is your garbage bag..toss your life into it!

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