Mid-Life Crisis

After watching last Friday’s video a few times I thought about how ironic it is that a man should be made to feel infantile, or “less than responsible” for indulging in his own wants. For certain a surprise sports car purchase may be an extreme example, but sometimes over-exaggeration is necessary to illustrate a larger point. That larger point is the nature of defacto personal and social control women exercise over men. It’s part of the feminine Matrix to think that ‘responsibility’ should be uniquely framed in what best serves the feminine. We literally don’t know any other way to interpret it most of the time.

When a man begins to ‘go rogue’ the feminine imperative has many pre-established social conventions to mediate this. Obviously designating ‘responsibility’ to serve the feminine frame is the social control, but there are other powerful conventions that the imperative uses. One of these is the Myth of the Mid-Life Crisis.

A lot of hokey comedies have been produced covering mid-life crises. Usually the main characters are cast as overweight schlubs trying to recapture their by-gone days. In real life men are ridiculed, usually around age 40, for losing their mojo and acting ‘irresponsibly’ or ‘erratically’ in some silly gesture of reclaiming his independence. However, this masculine shaming hides a more desperate latent purpose for the feminine.

The SMV Crossover

The most stereotypical mid-life crisis occurs for a man around age 40. It’s important to remember that a man’s SMV really begins to peak between 38-42. It’s at this point that men have the best chance to truly unplug from the Matrix; and it is also at this point that the Threat of a man becoming self-aware of his now fully developed SMV has it’s greatest urgency for women to repress him from realizing it. Even life-long blue pill men generally come to an understanding that their wive’s SMV has dropped and their own SMV is greater. For the first time in his relationship history, he faces the Cardinal Rule of Relationships from his own perspective – women need him more than he needs women.

The feminine imperative has come to expect this awakening. In decades past, before there was a formalized Game, before there was the connectivity we have today, the feminine imperative relied upon social controls that limited a man’s becoming aware of his SMV. Through pop-culture and mass media men were taught to expect this ‘crisis’, even enlisting men to promote the idea. However, the imperative cast the ‘crisis’ as irresponsible and juvenile. It relied upon the time-tested shaming of masculinity in the hopes men would self-regulate when the time came that his SMV outclassed that of the women in his life. So we got hokey movies, and ridicule of men wanting to trade-up their wives for ‘trophy wives’.

Mid-Life Awareness

Probably the most common story I experienced when I did peer counseling back in Nevada was the disillusioned married guy. Most of these guys were professionals, mid to late 30’s and all their stories were the same; “I feel like I’ve done everything anyone ever expected of me for the past 10-15 years and I get no appreciation for it.” These guys “did the right thing” and either their wive’s were unresponsive to them or they still viewed these men as a “fixer upper” project that they were constantly working on.

This experience is what helped me to better understand the myth of the Mid-Life Crisis. Men, in most western culture’s do in fact experience a mid-life crisis, but this isn’t due to the trivialized and oft ridiculed by pop culture reasoning. Women, and feminization, would have us believe that men experiencing a mid-life crisis need to buy a sports car or divorce their wives in favor of a ‘trophy wife’ due to some repressed need to recapture their lost youth. This of course fits into the feminized myth that men are egoisitic, simple creatures and masculinity is infantile in nature, but this only serves to reassure women that they “still got it” at 40.

The truth about men’s mid-life crises isn’t about recapturing youth, it’s about finally understanding the trappings they’ve been sold into through their 20’s and 30’s and coming to terms with that often horrible truth. Some men do in fact buy the sports car, get the new hottie wife or act in some fashion that appears reckless and irresponsible. This isn’t due to infantilism, but rather new understanding of their own position as men. They’ve “lived responsibly” for so long and for so little appreciation that when that true realization is made they feel the need to move. They’ve become respected, put in the hours, the sacrifice, the censoring of their own views. They realize now that they’ve sold off true passions in favor of maintaining what others have told him was his responsibility – whether it was his choice or not. And all for what? A fat wife? A shrew? Maybe even a fantastic marriage and a wonderful family life, but also a nagging doubt about not seeing enough of the world by 40 because of it.

I worry about men who don’t come to this crisis, these are the men who are truly lost. These are the guys who remain life long AFCs, happy in their ignorance.

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Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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8 years ago

[…] was almost always paired with the ‘infantile and ego-bruised’ man’s mid-life crisis, selfishly attempting to recapture his youth in a sports car and a new ‘bimbo’ […]

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[…] Artículo de Rollo Tomassi, The Rational Male […]

Marco
Marco
7 years ago

As a teen entering adulthood two decades ago, I was always recalcitrant toward feminist dogma. However, due to the powerful influence this farce has over society and my “blue pill” need to conform at the time, I played along. It was only as I approached my late 30’s, that I experienced a renewed anger towards the oppressive regime we know as feminism. Now, at 42, I consider myself “redpill aware”; and yet I somehow managed to shamefully attribute mid-life crisis to the blessing of discovering the truth. I’m happy to learn that my “childish” and “irresponsible” mid-life crisis is nothing… Read more »

Elinor
7 years ago

Sorry to barge in guys but I really feel that as a woman and a wife, we are automatically blamed for being a liability, dependent, demanding and ungrateful. And this naturally gives an excuse for the man to detangle himself from us. So you don’t call it mid-life crisis- you call it freedom from responsibility. I understand the pressures men and women have with the need to provide but to just get tired of it after 25yrs does not justifying buying a porsche and looking for yourger women (which actually for most cases turn into more of a liability!).

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7 years ago

[…] In Mid-Life Crisis I offered that this contrived “crisis” really isn’t rooted in a man’s yearning for his younger days, but rather his coming to the realization that his SMV and peak potential put him into a state of awareness that he could actualize things he previously thought weren’t possible for him. For many men this is the first time in their lives that they really have the introspection to understand the harsh Red Pill truth. […]

FordSVT
FordSVT
7 years ago

Thanks for the Red Pill awakening too. Had mine 2 years ago.!
My Dad-hopeless Blue Blue/no hope/never got it.
Me-not a chance. Thx to these sites I’m a better man/Leader/Captain and human being

Dee
Dee
6 years ago

You’re an ass!
Try being the wife in this situation.
All “men” think the mid life crisis is bullshit because they can’t or won’t admit that they’re childish behavior comes out of nowhere and affects everyone around them.
Don’t like the possibility of a “controlling” wife? Do the female of the species a favor and stay single.
No man should comment on this until they’ve been “the wife” to a man who changes for the worse overnight and destroy a family.
Ass……….

YOHAMI
6 years ago
Reply to  Dee

Dee, go fuck yourself

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[…] women’s interests, not men’s interests. It’s why we laugh about the man’s mid-life crisis without actually understanding what it is or even why it occurs. Our understanding of it is shaped […]

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[…] Mid-Life Crisis – The Rational Male – The most stereotypical mid-life crisis occurs for a man around age … the myth of the Mid-Life Crisis. Men, … the mid life crises western people go through. […]

c
c
5 years ago

Maybe taking care of a family and being a husband and father is not a responsibility but a gift. Younger women often get bored and sports cars are expensive to maintain.

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[…] appointed role at some point in their lives. Whether it’s Red Pill awareness or coming to a mid life crisis epiphany, men get ‘woke’ in some respect. The few who don’t are men whose existence […]

Bren Mack
Bren Mack
4 years ago

Wow….obviously a lot of angry men commenting. I really hope you enjoy your lonely old age, because if you don’t change your “self indulged’ pompous miserable attitudes, that will be your future… Food for thought. You will,discover that the family you build everything around will be the most important thing on your death bed….but guess what…they won’t be there for you. Very sad isn’t it….just think about it….

SFC Ton
4 years ago

Wow I reckon these bitches taught us a lesson…….

UtahMan
UtahMan
4 years ago

I’ve just recently started reading this blog and bought the books. I’m trying to remove the blocks that led me to where I am now… Unfortunately I have come to the realization that I am extremely beta.. I’m working to improve myself as the serial monogamy I have been so willing to accept in my life has pushed me to being a lonely just turned 41 beta with little prospect. Misspent youth in a marriage that left me in debt and taking care of my kids. I think this blog and the books have shown me a lot of what… Read more »

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