Mid-Life Crisis

After watching last Friday’s video a few times I thought about how ironic it is that a man should be made to feel infantile, or “less than responsible” for indulging in his own wants. For certain a surprise sports car purchase may be an extreme example, but sometimes over-exaggeration is necessary to illustrate a larger point. That larger point is the nature of defacto personal and social control women exercise over men. It’s part of the feminine Matrix to think that ‘responsibility’ should be uniquely framed in what best serves the feminine. We literally don’t know any other way to interpret it most of the time.

When a man begins to ‘go rogue’ the feminine imperative has many pre-established social conventions to mediate this. Obviously designating ‘responsibility’ to serve the feminine frame is the social control, but there are other powerful conventions that the imperative uses. One of these is the Myth of the Mid-Life Crisis.

A lot of hokey comedies have been produced covering mid-life crises. Usually the main characters are cast as overweight schlubs trying to recapture their by-gone days. In real life men are ridiculed, usually around age 40, for losing their mojo and acting ‘irresponsibly’ or ‘erratically’ in some silly gesture of reclaiming his independence. However, this masculine shaming hides a more desperate latent purpose for the feminine.

The SMV Crossover

The most stereotypical mid-life crisis occurs for a man around age 40. It’s important to remember that a man’s SMV really begins to peak between 38-42. It’s at this point that men have the best chance to truly unplug from the Matrix; and it is also at this point that the Threat of a man becoming self-aware of his now fully developed SMV has it’s greatest urgency for women to repress him from realizing it. Even life-long blue pill men generally come to an understanding that their wive’s SMV has dropped and their own SMV is greater. For the first time in his relationship history, he faces the Cardinal Rule of Relationships from his own perspective – women need him more than he needs women.

The feminine imperative has come to expect this awakening. In decades past, before there was a formalized Game, before there was the connectivity we have today, the feminine imperative relied upon social controls that limited a man’s becoming aware of his SMV. Through pop-culture and mass media men were taught to expect this ‘crisis’, even enlisting men to promote the idea. However, the imperative cast the ‘crisis’ as irresponsible and juvenile. It relied upon the time-tested shaming of masculinity in the hopes men would self-regulate when the time came that his SMV outclassed that of the women in his life. So we got hokey movies, and ridicule of men wanting to trade-up their wives for ‘trophy wives’.

Mid-Life Awareness

Probably the most common story I experienced when I did peer counseling back in Nevada was the disillusioned married guy. Most of these guys were professionals, mid to late 30’s and all their stories were the same; “I feel like I’ve done everything anyone ever expected of me for the past 10-15 years and I get no appreciation for it.” These guys “did the right thing” and either their wive’s were unresponsive to them or they still viewed these men as a “fixer upper” project that they were constantly working on.

This experience is what helped me to better understand the myth of the Mid-Life Crisis. Men, in most western culture’s do in fact experience a mid-life crisis, but this isn’t due to the trivialized and oft ridiculed by pop culture reasoning. Women, and feminization, would have us believe that men experiencing a mid-life crisis need to buy a sports car or divorce their wives in favor of a ‘trophy wife’ due to some repressed need to recapture their lost youth. This of course fits into the feminized myth that men are egoisitic, simple creatures and masculinity is infantile in nature, but this only serves to reassure women that they “still got it” at 40.

The truth about men’s mid-life crises isn’t about recapturing youth, it’s about finally understanding the trappings they’ve been sold into through their 20’s and 30’s and coming to terms with that often horrible truth. Some men do in fact buy the sports car, get the new hottie wife or act in some fashion that appears reckless and irresponsible. This isn’t due to infantilism, but rather new understanding of their own position as men. They’ve “lived responsibly” for so long and for so little appreciation that when that true realization is made they feel the need to move. They’ve become respected, put in the hours, the sacrifice, the censoring of their own views. They realize now that they’ve sold off true passions in favor of maintaining what others have told him was his responsibility – whether it was his choice or not. And all for what? A fat wife? A shrew? Maybe even a fantastic marriage and a wonderful family life, but also a nagging doubt about not seeing enough of the world by 40 because of it.

I worry about men who don’t come to this crisis, these are the men who are truly lost. These are the guys who remain life long AFCs, happy in their ignorance.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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taterearl
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Well in that case…I’ve unplugged about 10 years early. I look forward to having fun in my early 30s.

YOHAMI
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truth.

Wald
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Would you advocate then, getting married in your late 30s, early 40s, as that is when one would be most aware of his SMV, and therefore can make the best choice in who to marry?

[“The appropriate age for marriage is around eighteen for girls and thirty-seven for men.” – Aristotle]

muscleman
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Anything that’s a large deviation from the norm (unplugging) will be viewed as a crisis. And it is a crisis – for women. Like a child realizing stomping their feet no longer gets them candy, women realizing they don’t have the same control they used to is a terrifying thought. I believe the purpose of the community at large is to make this ‘crisis’ happen sooner rather than later, which is what’s behind not committing to any woman until you’ve matured – this way you have plenty of time and opportunity to find yourself, see the matrix, and realize your… Read more »

Good Luck Chuck
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Even aside from the feminine angle, people are conformist creatures. Anything that deviates from the standard script is subject to question. If I were a recently divorced former mini van driving soccer dad people would take a lot more interest in me buying toys and fucking younger women, but since I am a single businessman who has been driving sports cars and banging younger women since forever, people don’t even bat an eye when I date women in their 20’s and buy a motorcycle at age 40. If you maintain a high SMV and thumb your nose at societal expectations… Read more »

M3
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Anytime men do anything without thinking of how it will help/affect/benefit a woman.. it’s squandered effort, a waste of resources.

At least according to most women.

The new rules of the matrix, build yourself up while we have fun at our best, then lock us down just as you’re entering your best while we’re fading fast, and don’t you dare think of entertaining your options now that you got them you filthy pig. Won’t someone please think of the children?!?!

Ps- nice pic. fast car and slender midriff in jeans ftw. belly button piercing means she’s pretty much dtf.

Martel
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Chuck perfectly one of the Matrix’s greatest ironies. If you live in the Matrix but recognize it as being the Matrix, you benefit from it far more than its architects.

Xavier
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I think I’ve become aware of this in my early 20 when I was seeing all thoses guys at work married to ugly fat women when the could easily score a nice 6 or 7 without much game at all. Now Im almost 30, still spinning plate and having so much fun in my life. Doing sports, making money and always fucking a nice chicks.

Most friends and guys at work don’t get it. Only thing Im wondering is the best age for having childrens cause I’m starting to want some…

ar10308
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Interestingly enough, what a woman will spend on designer heels and purses from the age of 20 up to 40, could get you one hell of a sports car.

Days of Broken Arrows
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Great piece.

The way we define things with words marks them beyond what they intrinsically mean (i.e. calling something “hate speech,” etc.). So the very phrase “mid-life crisis” was devised to make male transitions into late adulthood seem negative.

Why was this done? What was the agenda? I think you’ve nailed it. What we need to do now is come up with another phrase that redefines this transitional period in a man’s life. Any ideas? I was thinking something along the lines of “cashing in,” or moving on up.

Midlife ascension?

Emma the Emo
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I’ve seen a few of those. It’s when the man starts to get anxious and feel like he could have gotten a better woman (those I have seen do it). Woe to the wife who has a husband experiencing it.

FuriousFerret
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‘Woe to the wife who lets herself go and blows up into a land whale’.

Fixed it for you.

Martel
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Of course we never talk about the female midlife crisis.

They were about twenty years too early, but Faith No More’s song “Midlife Crisis” was written about Madonna, who seems to be going through her own midlife crisis of sorts lately. All the flashing and obnoxious statements, and nobody gives half a shit anymore.

“Look at me!” No heads turn. Looks like a crisis to me.

Dillon
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Doing “the right thing” and expecting appreciation is a very bad business move, no matter if you get appreciated or not.

Because even when someone shows appreciation, its just to encourage you to continue doing the acts that benefit them while thinking of you as a chump in the back of their head. Its a trap and the bait is your desire to be appreciated.

You are just getting scammed because of your own weakness.

Nick
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Go figure, what the fem matrix calls a “crisis” is in fact an “awakening”! Thank God that I swallowed the red pill at 28. At first I was kicking myself for having wasted over a decade on being a beta chump, but now I see I’m still years away from hitting my true potential. And o irony of ironies, by going through this “crisis” so much earlier, I’ll better understand women, learn what I want and if I get married my wife will be that much happier for it because she’ll know who’s boss! (my favorite quote from a girl… Read more »

Hopeless Romantic
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“After watching last Friday’s video a few times I thought about how ironic it is that a man should be made to feel infantile, or “less than responsible” for indulging in his own wants. For certain a surprise sports car purchase may be an extreme example, but sometimes over-exaggeration is necessary to illustrate a larger point. That larger point is the nature of defacto personal and social control women exercise over men. It’s part of the feminine Matrix to think that ‘responsibility’ should be uniquely framed in what best serves the feminine. We literally don’t know any other way to… Read more »

Ballie
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I’ve been through that, when I got divorced 5 years ago @ 50. Was a hell of a coaster ride. Before I was an AFC, found SoSauve and the Manosphere and it all changed. Before I swallowed the “Red Pill”, I did some self destructive behaviour……… Well, losing your family, house, dreams, etc. Tends to do that. Now, 5 years later, my life has stabilised. I have my own business and have cut out any uneccessary expenses that a family demands. Become a born again batchelor – with a lady friend, that I see on the weekends. I have a… Read more »

Emma the Emo
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FuriousFerret,
I wish it was that simple, but some women are unlucky and their efforts to stay thin and young don’t pay off anyway (one guy I knew did this, and when switching women, didn’t even trade up… Lol, he didn’t think far enough, he could date women half his age.. wasn’t some celebrity either). But I think that’s just bad luck.

IrishFarmer
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The problem with a mid-life crisis isn’t the effect it has on women, but about what’s going on internally in the man. For some, the mid-life crisis is a way of trying to make up for lost time. In this sense, the problem isn’t that they’re having a crisis, but that they feel they lost that time. If a man has accomplished nothing truly glorious in his lifetime (yes, glorious), and he has had the means (if he’s middle to upper-middle class then he has the means) then the problem is that he really did waste his male potential. If… Read more »

Hero
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I read something interesting (can’t remember where) that said a mid-life crisis is really a fertility crisis with the other partner.

This would support your post, Rollo. When the woman has become undesirable by getting fat or old or going through menopause then the man has a mid-life crisis.

Sounds about right to me.

Grit
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Do you see self-censorship for 40 years as requirement for 40 year marriage? Dads are guilty by association: they made their beds with a tacit acceptance of feminism/ the feminine imperative. Do dads accept that their daughters are going to have some douche’s penis inside her? My father is right in there. He has been suffering sleeplessness, restlessness, and unhappiness at his age. I took the red pill and have no delusions. I have no money, but i have no delusions. He has lots of money and delusions- lots to lose by accepting a reevaluation of his SMV. Overall, it… Read more »

3alpha
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Church….. Once you disconnect and see the patterns that bio mechanics portray, your world gets easy, both personal and professional. Corporations are organisms too, and define the underlying structure..masculine or feminine, then either use emotion or reason to overcome its corrollary. 37 and I nail 23 like its 33. Well fed on corporate fear. Life is soooooo sooooo good.

Alpha_BetaSpectrum
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What’s to be said about the female mid life crisis, I hear those are killers for men?
What with the hormones and rewriting history… I’m only 28 but its best to be knowledgable, to thwart off future upheaval.

[The Wall is women’s mid-life crisis]

Dreamer
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The last sentence – shouldn’t it say rather than “happy in their ignorance” but something more of “quietly suffering” or “lives in quiet desperation”. If the man lives on happily, then the value of awakening is moot. If he is sacrificing dreams, censoring personal views, giving up true passions, and etcetera, then he is not likely to be living happily. Rollo, its brings two questions. First, my understanding is you are still under 38 or 40 or something. You realized your SMV and set a deal for what you want rather than realizing you been living for everyone else’s (or… Read more »

anon
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anon
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Another generous serving of refined and forbidden knowledge pertaining to a higher plane of existence. Over time I have come to regard this manosphere blog above all others for the keen insight and relevant topics. Hats off.

Hopeless Romantic
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Grit,
“I wouldnt hesitate to teach my sons about game. I wouldnt hesitate to passively teach them dark triad traits….. Do dads accept that their daughters are going to have some douche’s penis inside her?”

With douches like your sons running around, they have to accept it.

Hopeless Romantic
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” In decades past, before there was a formalized Game, before there was the connectivity we have today, the feminine imperative relied upon social controls that limited a man’s becoming aware of his SMV. Through pop-culture and mass media men were taught to expect this ‘crisis’, even enlisting men to promote the idea. However, the imperative cast the ‘crisis’ as irresponsible and juvenile. It relied upon the time-tested shaming of masculinity in the hopes men would self-regulate when the time came that his SMV outclassed that of the women in his life. So we got hokey movies, and ridicule of… Read more »

Rollo Tomassi
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Be less concerned about wealthy 40 somethings dropping everything and waltzing off with ‘trophy wives’ and be more concerned about the 80%+ of women filing for divorce, taking the kids and walking away with cash & prizes. They’re much more common.

Martel
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I’m not married, but for any future wife, I propose a deal: I won’t abandon you for a trophy wife and will do my best to consider your welfare. In exchange for this, don’t become a lardass, pay attention to my needs, and don’t try to subject me to anything even closely resembling the castration of a thousand cuts. If I can afford a fancy toy, I’m getting it. In short, if I’m going to stay with you when hotties twenty years your junior are coming on to me, it’s going to require more than just a sense of moral… Read more »

FuriousFerret
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@Hopeless Troll, I have many co-workers that put their children at the center of everything in their lives. These guys are some of the biggest pussy losers I have ever met. They live through their children because they are spineless and are failures. They are usually fat, gluttonous and boring. They lack respect from others and themselves. The great irony is that this whole arrangement backfires on them. You lead by example, as the ultimate male authority figure they are teaching their sons to be giant pussies. Many times, their own sons resent them for being the losers that they… Read more »

Alpha_BetaSpectrum
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lol, @FuriousFerret I agree kids are important but can not be the center of your universe. just as women. Lord knows when those kits grow up you certainly won’t be the center of theirs. This coming from someone with 3 kids

Hopeless Romantic
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“In short, if I’m going to stay with you when hotties twenty years your junior are coming on to me, it’s going to require more than just a sense of moral obligation or guilt.” The average male will never experience hotties twenty years junior to their wives coming onto them. As for the rest of it, it does sound like monogamy is a strain, for both spouses. Why not just open marriage? That way you can have your cake and eat it too. Win/win. “It’s a common occurence for the majority of teenagers to be embrassed by their old man.”… Read more »

Martel
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“The average male will never experience hotties twenty years junior to their wives coming onto them. As for the rest of it, it does sound like monogamy is a strain, for both spouses. Why not just open marriage? That way you can have your cake and eat it too. Win/win.” The average male, no. However, here in our disintegrating society, it is each man’s duty to become an alpha. As a beta, no matter how wonderful your beliefs may be, you won’t be able to enforce them, and you’re right about the women. If you’re an alpha, you will have… Read more »

The Shocker
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The Other Jim
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“I feel like I’ve done everything anyone ever expected of me for the past 10-15 years and I get no appreciation for it.” That’s another thing most women don’t get. The amount of individual and cultural discipline it takes to produce men who do “all the right things” eg get married, support the family, fidelity, interest in fatherhood, etc. is tremendous. These traits don’t just happen naturally, it takes a lot of cultural pressure and discipline to make men take up these traits within their civilization. In fact, if men don’t take up these traits you really don’t get anything… Read more »

Hopeless Romantic
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“As far as open marraige goes, I know it’s rough and that no society has ever been perfect, but 1 man/1 woman marraige has been the only thing that’s ever come close to working. Polygamous societies are horribly violent and unstable (no women for any lower status man). Serial monogamy may turn out to be even worse; it’s still too early to tell where we’re headed.” Those aren’t open marriage. Open marriage is where the spouses put the togetherness of their own family first but allow each other to see other people outside of it. It looks at the collective… Read more »

Hopeless Romantic
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“That’s another thing most women don’t get. The amount of individual and cultural discipline it takes to produce men who do “all the right things” eg get married, support the family, fidelity, interest in fatherhood, etc. is tremendous. These traits don’t just happen naturally, it takes a lot of cultural pressure and discipline to make men take up these traits within their civilization. In fact, if men don’t take up these traits you really don’t get anything resembling what we’ve seen come out of Western Civilization. ” Jim’s right. I see this in my own culture where wife and family… Read more »

The Shocker
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hahahahaha i just came up with the greatest neg ever. When a girl adds you on facebook, ‘like’ a picture of her from YEARS ago back when she was younger and hotter lol

Hopeless Romantic
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In addition to what Jim says it might be genetic. If you look at all western European countries and the white anglo or white euro global diaspora, these are people that just do not do family, “he/she’s just not that into it”. Even a 100 years back they were clamoring to break away and go somewhere else, where their families were not and start a “nuclear family” of a very few people of their own. The nuclear family was kind of like a bridge between the very large extended family and what they *really* wanted – to just be alone… Read more »

Vae Victus
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@Shocker et al:

No man should be on Facebook, it is the female echo chamber.

jlw
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jlw
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One caveat: There is no SMV crossover if you are short, ugly and poor with any measure of standards.

XXX
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XXX
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Personally, I believe that the problems we have with “mid life crises” has to do with the fact that men and women live too long now. Men worried that their missus will get old and fat ? nah, not when she would have been long dead, probably from childbirth. Men worried about not being able to pull young cutie pie chicks with their balding pates and bulging tums ? nah, not when they would have been long dead – probably from war or war wounds. When people faced and accepted their own mortality, they experienced their immortality through their children… Read more »

littlepdog
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The actual scientific cause of mid-life crises is the menopause of one’s spouse. The fancy cars and new toys are attempts by the husband to attract a new, younger, fertile woman. It can happen to any man regardless of how old he is. Look it up.

reviewmyonlinedate
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I don’t think people have mid life crisis’ anymore. People who are currently in their 40’s and 50’s. Are having the hardest time right now. When they were growing up, society was telling them how to live then and how to live in the future. Now society is telling them to live a totally different way than what they were told growing up. People are very confused about who they are. Hence, they’re in one life long identity crisis and not just a mid life crisis.

Stig
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This is my truth. It’s probably your truth too, and if you don’t recognize it as such it may be you are just arriving at the critical point a little bit later.

No one could have put it better than that Rollo.

Hopeless Romantic
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” The fancy cars and new toys are attempts by the husband to attract a new, younger, fertile woman.”

Fancy cars and new toys speak to nothing other than the fact that we’ve got a man here who watches TV, follows pop culture, and is putty in the hands of Big Corporate.

OK, I concede that’s your average American male.

(Female lurkers: travel, expatriate, there’s a whole wide world of interesting men out there who come from actual cultures – you know those quaint things Americans study about at universities? Yeah those.)

Mark Minter
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I’m starting to use Microsoft Word to compose comments. I recommend it. Not only does it spell check, but also it does syntax and semantic checking. Perhaps I can compose better comments. I get so into what I am writing emotionally, I will hit the “send” button a little too early when I should have proofread more. I fucking hit it and scream “Yeah, Take that!! you bitches. There’s a new motherfucking sheriff in town now. HA!!!!” So Word does checking on the fly and maybe I can seem a little more literate. I have to concur greatly with this… Read more »

themaraudingmongol
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“but also a nagging doubt about not seeing enough of the world by 40 because of it.”

And this is the fear that every young guy should be afraid of.
Not the fear of failure, or rejection, or poverty, or whatever.

This.

Thanks, Rollo.

FuriousFerret
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Well Word fucked you this time Mark.

It posted your essay twice in a row.

In seriousness that’s probably a good idea, because this comment box seems to screw up your sense of grammar and proportion.

Hopeless Romantic
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Mark, gaming women and sleeping around actually results in the suffering that Buddha talked about. Its not a middle path at all. On the other hand although I don’t know the specifics of your situation I can agree with the gist about being happier alone without the strife that a romantic, whether married or not, relationship brings with it by force of its very nature. As a woman I experienced a lot of stress and anxiety in a LTR, not least of which was wasting time and spending hard earned money on things like waxes. Beyond grooming, hygiene, healthy eating… Read more »

The Shocker
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Wtf are you talking about dont be on facebook are you all fucking troglodytes. Female echo chamber wtf. You go on facebook to check out body shots of girls you meet to make sure they’re hot. Accept friend request, look for bikini pics. Tell girls thats how you use facebook. You can whip out your phone in a bar while you’re talking to a girl and say, hey add me real quick i want to see a bikini pic of you, i cant tell if you’re hot. Female echo chamber hahaha r your balls female handwarming devices Lol

YaReally
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http://youtu.be/TfDVLsBXYcM “First you have to know…not fear, KNOW…that someday you’re gonna die.” I won’t have a mid-life crisis because I already live my life the way I want, for myself, and I’m on my path. Once I swallowed the red pill I stopped trying to live the life society told me I should live. If you life your life with no regrets, settling down becomes a conscious choice rather than an unexpected cage. Incidentally this is also part of how I set up Open Relationships with women. I tell them I’m not done with this stage of my life yet… Read more »

BC
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Dillon
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Dillon
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@Hopeless Romantic Actually it may be you who is misunderstanding “Eastern wisdom”. No time that you spend doing what you want to do is wasted. If one spent much effort and time on waxing, pimping the car or sleeping around because one felt like it, it was the right thing to do at the time. It was not bullshit at all. When one grew out of it and didn’t feel like doing it, to continue doing it is foolish. Now it becomes bullshit. Same concept can be applied to relationships. To stay even if you don’t feel like being in… Read more »

xsplat
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Ya, spinning a man returning to the dating market as a “crisis” is quite the political maneuver. Women act as if they are each a rep for the pussy union, and as if every event that impacts them is a political discussion. I swear they have a hive mind and can tune in to each others propaganda messages wirelessly. Man: Damn, that 16 year old is hot. Girl: You’re a pedophile! You want to fuck her, don’t you! Shreak! Shreak! Shreak! Man: Jeesus, what do I have to do to shut you up? No! I don’t want to fuck her.… Read more »

xsplat
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The funny thing is, that many women have a higher socio-sexual score than do men. That is to say they want long term monogamy less than men. On our forums we notice these differences in men’s sexual strategies. There are the men who prefer to pump and dump, the men who prefer to spin plates, the men who prefer serial and parallel monogamy, and the men who prefer lifetime monogamy. These are are different socio-sexual predispositions – how comfortable we are without commitment when we fuck. Some guys prefer more commitment than does the average women. The low socio-sexually oriented… Read more »

D-Man
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Click the link in the above post: the banner ad is for a jewelry company. It shows a picture of a diamond ring with the copy:

She is my Everything

The Center of my Universe

…they’ve even trademarked the phrase “The Center of my Universe”…

C’MON MAN!

This is what we are talking about, the level of brainwashing.

It’s normal in our society to condition men to be expected to forfeit the very CENTER of their UNIVERSE, for fuck sake?

Will
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@D-Man

“She is my Everything

The Center of my Universe”

In other words She/Woman is the Mans God/Deity.

OlioOx
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to Mark Minter: I posted somewhere else not long ago “Attention Mark Minter! Read Esther Vilar’s The Manipulated Man” etc. But now I see it’s totally unnecessary for you to read it; you’ve lived it, realized it, and now nothing in that book would be new to you at all. For laughs you might want to skim through it to see how a German-Argentinian woman in 1971 voiced all that you learned the hard way about marriage: http://www.2shared.com/document/FNyulwEI/Esther_Vilar_-_The_Manipulated.html — your new interpretation of Buddhism deserves to be quoted all over the internet and I suspect it will be. Here is… Read more »

OlioOx
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Off topic but I’m in a jam, could anyone help me? For some reason, I’ve been trying for months, I cannot post anything to Chateau/Heartiste/Roissy blog; there is no ‘moderating’ response, anything I try just disappears; and all my emails go similarly unacknowledged. Could someone with a pipeline to Roissy and his gang ask why OlioOx is given the Extreme Automatic Shitcan Filter?

Marcellus
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Monkeys have a “midlife crisis” too. The matrix is strong…

http://www.pnas.org/content/early/2012/11/14/1212592109

chrisdavies09
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^^^ I already posted the monkey story a few comments previously. But thanks anyway.

Tam the Bam
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Alpha_BetaSpectrum:
“What’s to be said about the female mid life crisis, I hear those are killers for men?”
Seems it’s finally been deployed … as an excuse for an unavoidable compulsion to adultery and pedophilia.

“Neely, meanwhile, told police the 16-year-old boy kept asking her for sex. Noting “midlife crisis” feelings, Neely thought if she had sex with the teen he would stop asking.”
If she what? … he would wha-a-at??
“Yeah, well I didn’t even like the kid, so it doesn’t count. Well not the first few times anyway. He made me do it yeronner.”
Comedy gold, the hamster has truly roared.

anonymous
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Men experience midlife crisis when they no longer attract
female attention. It’s not a trap; it’s a loss.

itsme
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itsme
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As a woman

this whole time, i thought hopeless romantic was a troll. but this makes sense too.

Joseph
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Joseph
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I love the aristotle quote. Here is one for explaining politicians and feminism.

“A tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion. Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler whom they consider god-fearing and pious. On the other hand, they do less easily move against him, believing that he has the gods on his side. (V.1314b39)”

Hopeless Romantic
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“Off topic but I’m in a jam, could anyone help me? For some reason, I’ve been trying for months, I cannot post anything to Chateau/Heartiste/Roissy blog; there is no ‘moderating’ response, anything I try just disappears; and all my emails go similarly unacknowledged. Could someone with a pipeline to Roissy and his gang ask why OlioOx is given the Extreme Automatic Shitcan Filter?” Olio, did you ever, even once, say anything remotely positive about Black men? If so you’ll be banned for life. Its happened to several female commenters there. Roissy has major Freudian penis envy. If you are, for… Read more »

Hopeless Romantic
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“First you have to know…not fear, KNOW…that someday you’re gonna die.” This fact is taught to children in all the major Eastern wisdom traditions. Probably why those cultures don’t have has many issues with aging and why elders are respected. It seems in the West, North America especially, old people are nada to you guys and you are trying to make up for being unpopular dorks in college at 50. Weird. The last time I talked about being high school was probably my first year of college, and the last time I talked about college was probably when the year… Read more »

Hopeless Romantic
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Dillon, “Actually it may be you who is misunderstanding “Eastern wisdom”. No time that you spend doing what you want to do is wasted.” > Can you qoute me which Upanishad you got that from? “If one spent much effort and time on waxing, pimping the car or sleeping around because one felt like it, it was the right thing to do at the time…. Same concept can be applied to relationships. To stay even if you don’t feel like being in it anymore is foolish, no matter what. ” > This is not Eastern philosophy at all. Its hedonistic,… Read more »

OlioOx
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Hopeless, Thanks for the advice, I believe your account of things is correct. I’d finally started to wonder why no opposing points of view that are ever worth reading appear in the Chateau. The only non-orthodox comments allowed are silly ones, or written by eloquent clowns like Matt/KingA, and the entire comment game there is therefore run for one purpose only: To provide entertainment for Roissy and his staff. It’s a shame, because I like to play the devil’s advocate, but people will run their blogs the way they want to. If I had a popular blog, I don’t know… Read more »

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[…] The origin of the mid-life crisis. […]

gregariouswolf
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Mid life crisis is largely pop psychology. People have crises, obviously. Crises of faith, of identity.

If a guy is 40-50 and buys a Porsche, he probably would have bought a Porsche when he was 27 but could not afford it. The same goes with an attractive female companion, girlfriend, or wife. What he wants at 45 isn’t significantly different than what he wanted at 25. Only his capacity to attain it.

Being told he is shallow or immature or going through a phase is a way to shame him into conforming to societal expectations.

This post spoke to me, thanks RM.

jsr
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Curious if you, Rollo, would be willing to contact me via email for a personal question.

Rollo Tomassi
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leave me an email address to respond to in the comments on the ‘About’ page.

xsplat
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Olio, Roissy used to delay, delete, and even edit my comments on his forum, and I’ve heard of him delaying and deleting other guys too, including Dalrock. He’d get in a conversation with me, then edit and delete my replies. And his responses in the comment section can be strangely snarky.

OlioOx
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X, nothing wrong with snarky responses; nothing wrong with the worst most reprehensible responses possible, really, is there, as long as one’s comment appears as one sent it. But the other information you’ve just given me is disturbing. I suspect all is not well in Roissy’s head; the pattern is emerging of someone who has something eating him hard, and whenever anyone grazes the sore spot, he retaliates by destroying that person (in a blog-admin kind of way.) I wonder what unresolved problem he has? Hopeless has an idea, as you saw above, that might be part of it. Doesn’t… Read more »

Dillon
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Hopeless Romantic > Can you qoute me which Upanishad you got that from? No, you do your own homework. (look under “letting go of result of action”) This is not Eastern philosophy at all. Its hedonistic, anti-family, materialistic, fatalistic mindless Western dribble, cooked up by a lost people with no direction or grounding whatsoever which a few may have repackaged as “new age feel good motivational” nonsense. And that right there ^^^ is precisely why your children grow up so unhappy, selfish and confused. Their parents don’t put them first but rather put their own feeeeeeeeeewings ahead of even the… Read more »

TOMTOM
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Mark Minter – you are a legend. And a cult figure on the RooshV Forum. Check it out! You are the best writer around. And I agree with you 100% about the wimminz.

TOMTOM
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Here is one of the threads discussing your excellent writing:

http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-16629-page-1.html

qld654
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Reblogged this on Château Oz.

Hopeless Romantic
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Dillon,
“No, you do your own homework. (look under “letting go of result of action”)”

A complete misinterpretation of niskama- karma-yoga.

Seriously sometimes I think you people should just stick to Christianity.

Chuck Hammer
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Mark Minter You make a tremendous sacrifice by entering in a Long Term Relationship with a women. And that sacrifice is far greater than you are conditioned to believe. You give your freedom, your effort, your heart, and I can tell you, a tremendous amount of material and financial resources and assets.”…….And I can also tell you emphatically. IT WILL GO UNAPPRECIATED. IT IS EXPECTED. IT IS DEMANDED. IT IS THE PRICE OF EVEN SITTING AT THE TABLE. I’ve been married for 24 years. A couple of years ago I said to my wife that she had never thanked me,… Read more »

James
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Thanks for your comment chuck.

It scares the hell out of me and that is why I think I’ll stay single.

Best of luck.

Hopeless Romantic
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Chuck Hammer, why didn’t you COMMUNICATE through the years your need for financial equality in your marriage? Silence means complicity. If you want something, voice it.

Wilf
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Hey Chuck Hammer I can really relate to your comment at 12:00 am. I’ve also been married 20+ years. And we have a couple of young children. Though our situations are different, I find myself seriously re-evaluating where I’m going with the rest of my life due to circumstances both before but moreso after my Red Pill awakening.

It’s not easy. Thanks for sharing. I feel less alone, and am realizing there must be a lot of us over 40s and long-married guys facing some tough decisions.

Chuck Hammer
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Hopeless Romantic Chuck Hammer, why didn’t you COMMUNICATE through the years your need for financial equality in your marriage? Silence means complicity. If you want something, voice it. Go fuck yourself, bitch. Where did I say i did not communicate? Women are big children and my wife is no different. She figured out as the years passed that she didn’t have to contribute. What was I going to do? Stop paying the mortgage and the health insurance? What’s more, the law in the USA is very clear. Any financial obligations incurred separately by the wife, income taxes for example, are… Read more »

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[…] previously described this phase as a parallel to men’s feminine-redefined midlife crisis. This is a precarious time for women, usually the years between 28 and 30, where she makes attempts […]

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[…] I wrote about the redefining of men’s mid-life awareness, Knight’s circumstance is the uglier side of […]

AA
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AA
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Be warned, this is from the ‘evil’ Eve perspective. It seems that alot of the comments highlight women losing their figures and getting old. Is it possible that the men that are going through midlife crisis are actually projecting their own insecurities on their wives? From what I have observed – most couples eat the same meals – they are both usually overweight or healthy. So if the wife is a ‘fat slob’, what does that say about her husband? Also, please bear in mind the majority of younger women dating older men are after financial security, trinkets and gifts.… Read more »

Nutz
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I know I’m late to the party, but I just wanted to throw this out there: the male mid-life crisis is actually a myth. What it is is typically a response to the dwindling fertility of the woman the man is pair-bonded with. What he’s doing is turning on the mate-attraction behaviors to draw in another fertile female. Studies have found that single men don’t have a mid-life crisis, largely because they never stopped those behaviors! Middle aged men with young fertile wives also don’t have what’s classically defined as a mid-life crisis. For every man who hits middle age… Read more »

mickay
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Mark Minter! Thank You so much. Keep sharing your experience. Your experience teaches all the men what to expect in this system in which men are conditioned to lose their freedom for LTR with women, I took a red pill few years ago. Guess what! It is a very liberating experience for me. I am at peace myself. It has brought me a sense of security and stability in my life. Swallowing a red pill is the best thing that can ever happen to men. But sadly most of the men are still blinded by matrix with no hope of… Read more »

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[…] Mid-Life Crisis […]

theonemonk
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@mark Minter

i see there’s folk here enlightened enough to see beyond “pride”. having pride for being herded into carrying backbreaking loads, doing triple the work, stressing out, selling your health. Do we really believe we’ll be more appreciated?

having no expectations and not conforming to everyone’s expectations is a path to inner peace, that’s where the good stuff happens
simplify your life
when things are simple they’re easy to clean maintain and keep tidy
you dont want knick knack collecting dust

elegance and function. living spartan. goal: contentment

Killer Queen
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I read this I’m blonde and female aka as very stupid so I was completely confused by SMV is that the same as SUV only for men victims do some weird female matrix or should that be dominatrix. I love angry men … There something endearing about their impotent rage. Red pills do they making you shit .. Reading this has denfitely opened my.,,bowels

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[…] Mark Minter, 2012. Reproduced from The Rational Male. […]

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[…] Mark Minter, 2012. Reproduced from The Rational Male comments. […]

Lynda Dykeman
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I would like to call it…selfish bullshit. Grow up. Not all wives are bitches and a drag. In fact, I would be willing to bet most men that go through this full tilt are nothing more than a man child with an easy going wife that they never appreciated. Here is your garbage bag..toss your life into it!

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[…] no such thing as a mid-life crisis for men. As Rollo very precisely explains, “mid-life crisis” is a feminine shaming term for the melancholy and restlessness a man […]

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[…] no such thing as a mid-life crisis for men. As Rollo very precisely explains, “mid-life crisis” is a feminine shaming term for the melancholy and restlessness a man feels […]

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