I’m a psychotherapist working with couples, especially men who get left by their wives. I’ve studied your material for over a year now and the hypergamy stuff is dead on. I just wanted to share and maybe talk with you about the red pill rage that results — women love opportunistically yes, but many men who comment on your material are missing a component I believe. And it’s not one I’ve heard you allude to much either.. When a man isn’t pursuing his dreams and highest self, the woman oftentimes interprets that as a lack of love for her, as though continuing to stay competitive and strong in the world shows her that he is invested in the relationship. When men get lazy women actually feel discarded. The pain and the love is real – it isn’t so simple as jaded men think.. that women are blood thirsty gold digging monsters. The female design feels unloved and devalued when her man is not on fire for his own life..
I had this sent to me recently. It’s actually a pretty standard trope for Trad-Con women who want to justify their leaving a husband or having left an old lover/baby-daddy. They like to pretend they’re ‘red pill’ and so the only men who might qualify for their expired sexual market value will be Red Pill men who meet their new qualifications. One thing I’m seeing more and more of in this sub-section of the manosphere (really femosphere) is aged-out divorcé women who want to rebrand the ‘red pill’ to justify their unmarried, unpaired, state in the new sexual marketplace. As you might imagine, their solipsism gets combined with what they convert into a convenient rationale about what Red Pill men ought to be like. The lack of ‘real men’, real ‘red pill’ men is ostensibly why they’re still single – no man is actually ‘red pill’ enough to satisfy their hamstering and thus, it’s not they who have the problem, but rather the men who lack the balls to live up to those expectations.
If this sounds familiar – like maybe a feminist spouted off a version of it – you’re right. I wrote about this rationalization back in The Bitter Taste of the Red Pill:
Game-aware women – the ones who have been forcibly exhausted of all pretense of maintaing the illusion that Game is a lie – feel as though it’s owed to them, in their concession of Game’s reality, that Men should use Game to women’s benefit. Even to the last effort women still cling to the tools of a feminized acculturation;
“Yeah, OK, you got us, Game is really what women want, Hypergamy is the law of womankind, but now it’s your responsibility that you use it for the better benefit of society by molding a new breed of improved Betas to accommodate fem-centric monogamy. You owe us our security for having admitted to the grand illusion that’s kept you in thrall for so long.”
It’s an indictment of Game-aware women, and sympathizing men, that they should feel a need to delineate some aspects of Game into good camps (pro woman, pro feminized monogamy) and bad camps (manipulative, polygynous, male-centered). Even in the admission of the truth that Game has enlightened Men of, the feminine imperative still seeks to categorize the application of Game to its own end. That Men might have some means of access to their own sexual strategy is too terrible a Threat; Game must be colored good or bad as it concerns the imperatives of women and a fem-centric societal norm.
As the default, socially correct and virtuous concern, women have an easier time of this. As Game becomes increasingly more difficult to deny or misdirect for the feminine, the natural next step in accepting it becomes qualifying its acceptable uses. While hypergamy is an ugly truth, the characterization of it becomes “just how women are” – an unfortunate legacy of their evolution. However for Men, the characterizations of the harsher aspects of Game in its rawest form (contingencies for hypergamy) are dubbed “the dark arts”.
Red Pill Women – A Convenient Rationale
I wrote this back in 2012. Some of my earliest posts were about predicting exactly this phenomenon in the future. The more Red Pill aware a woman is – or I should say, the more she consciously acknowledges it – the greater the need will be to find fault in men for not living up to what they redefine as ‘red pill’ canon. The more widespread Red Pill awareness of intersexual dynamics becomes, and the more accepted it is, the more it will serve as an alibi for women trying to rebuild a life they destroyed themselves. It becomes a Red Pill man’s ‘duty’ to forgive their indiscretions and help them recover too.
Over the years Dalrock has gone into how women detonate their marriages as a result of divorce porn fantasies. I’m not sure he really dissects the aftermath of their divorces. And this is only one way in which women may find themselves single around middle age. In Preventive Medicine I detail how women go through at least to periods of crisis level Hypergamous doubt during a marriage. Women’s prerequisites for attraction (not arousal) shifts radically once she reaches the Epiphany Phase (29-31). She becomes far more compromising in terms of physicality in exchange for aspects of a man she finds desirable for long-term prospects of security. Whereas she may have only dated banged guys 1-2 inches taller than herself in her Party Years, now she’s willing to entertain the idea of banging dating a guy slightly shorter than herself so long as he has a capacity for success and provisioning for her.
This is an interesting phase to pick apart because it’s likely the first time in a woman’s life that she’s considering a relationship with a guy based on transactional sex as opposed to the prime directive of validational sex she’s been pursuing for most of her Party Years (18-26). For the first time her long-term attraction is based on different aspects of a man’s Burden of Performance.
During the Epiphany Phase a woman plays a complex game of internalized mental gymnastics. Her hindbrain understands that her sexual market value has been decaying for at least a couple of years prior to this conscious recognition of it. The enjoyment of the Party Years has to be weighed against the fact that she’s progressively losing the attention of the men she would like to have ‘enthusiastic’ validational sex with, and the necessity of a long-term security with a long-term partner. Thus, the rationalization engine kicks into overdrive. She must convince herself that the less exciting (arousing) but better provisioning guy who’s happy to have her at 30 represents the type of guy she ‘should‘ have been with all along.
This is a self-bullshitting contrivance of course, but in her mind the guy who she’s marrying or pairing long term with must be an example of a ‘good prospect’. This is when she does the self-conditioning of turning her necessity into a virtue. She was “so crazy in college, but now she’s matured and not like that anymore.” Or she’s “Getting right with God” or she’s “Learned her lesson in dating banging those Bad Boys” who’ve characterized her intimate life up until this point.
Those are the easy self-contrivances; what’s more difficult is convincing her hindbrain (that desperately wants the exciting validational sex with the Bad Boy) that the unexciting ‘Good Guy’ is really what’s best for her. This is where women like to rearrange what’s really important to them in a man.
This is the internal conflict that takes place in the Epiphany Phase, but what happens to the woman who never gets to consolidate on the ‘Good Guy’? For a variety of reasons (mostly overvalued evaluation of their SMV) more and more women find themselves ‘never marrieds’ and/or they follow the timeline in Preventive Medicine and find themselves divorced of their own doing. In either case, women still work through a similar series of self-rationalizations with respect to what they’re looking for, and what they feel they are entitled to, in a man around 38 to 45, sometimes as late as 50.
And this is where the Red Pill feeds that female entitlement schema. The logic goes like this:
If I’m a Red Pill woman and I agree with all of these Red Pill men who, despite all my misgivings, align with my (self-defined and sanitized) definition of what it means to be “red pill”, then these men owe it to me to unplug from their Blue Pill delusions and see me for the jewel in the rough that I really am.
I think the time a woman is most likely to discover she’s a “Red Pill Woman” is conveniently at the point in her life when she’s at her most necessitous. You will almost never find a girl of 22 who’d want to identify as a Trad-Con “Red Pill” woman – the incentives to do so simply don’t exist at this age. The fact that it is predominantly Traditional Conservative women who are either just pre-Wall or post-Wall, single-mothers, never married spinsters, divorcés or married-to-lesser-Betas who wish to redefine ‘Red Pill’ to use as a litmus test for the type of men they believe they’re entitled to is no coincidence.
Message to the ladies: Men don’t owe you shit. If you happen upon a man who shares your entitlement belief-set, a man willing to forgive your past indiscretions and marry you despite a ruthless marriage/divorce industrial complex arrayed against him, then thank whatever God you pray to and fuck that guy’s brains out to keep him happy, but don’t pretend it’s because either you or he is “Red Pill”. The fact that he would entertain the idea of a relationship with you disqualifies him from being “Red Pill”.
If you find yourself single, never-married at 38 and it “just never worked out for you” it’s time you look past your solipsism and find some real introspect. The problem begins and ends with you.
Love and Opportunism
Now, all that said, the ‘psychotherapist‘ who sent me this does have some legitimate points.
When a man isn’t pursuing his dreams and highest self, the woman oftentimes interprets that as a lack of love for her, as though continuing to stay competitive and strong in the world shows her that he is invested in the relationship.
First of all this is flat out false; I’ve written several posts that illustrate exactly this perspective. From Setting the Rules:
Once a woman understands the gravity and legitimacy of your purpose / passion, only then can she come to appreciate the significance of you foregoing or postponing the dictates of that purpose for her. She will never feel more important to you than when you (occasionally) lift her above that legitimate, verified purpose.
Women will never appreciate a relationship that is a Man’s greatest ambition.
That’s an old (obscure?) post I wrote some time ago, but the basic principle is that a man must be fearless in his pursuit of his passions both before and after he’s entered into some kind of committed exclusivity. In Acing the Test I point out that women tend to shit test for different things while single and when in an LTR. In a long term relationship these test are characterized by the need to quell the Hypergamous doubt that she paired with a guy who is, or has the potential for competency. In other words her Hypergamous hindbrain wants to know it made its best ‘bet’ on you.
And while that’s all fine and well, her hindbrain’s insecurity wars with the need for you to retain your ambition and your being emotionally available for her. When these two aspects come into conflict it is up to a man to retain the world, the Frame, he’s established in which she feels comfortable and yet uncomfortable enough to know he’s competent to be powerful in directing his own course in life.
When men get lazy women actually feel discarded. The pain and the love is real – it isn’t so simple as jaded men think.. that women are blood thirsty gold digging monsters. The female design feels unloved and devalued when her man is not on fire for his own life..
Again, this is a perfect illustration of the differences in the concepts men and women each independently hold when it comes to love. Men love Idealistically, women love Opportunistically and this quote spells this out in no uncertain terms – in fact it’s so ironic I’m not sure the woman relating this to me even realizes what she’s doing. Women intimately associate a man’s ambitiousness, his drive for mastery and power, his want for dominance, with her Opportunistic concept of love. She’s correct here, when men get lazy women feel discarded. However, this is because a man contenting himself with how things are and dropping all ambition confirms what her Hypergamous nature fears most – he’s really incompetent.
This is especially salient when a man trades his ambitions (assuming he had them) for a relationship with her. This reverses the Burden of Performance to her and as a result she feels unloved because her concept of love is founded on his capacity for competence. She feels unloved because opportunism defines her concept of love; and he only confirms his worthlessness by abdicating his Burden of Performance.
From Love Story:
Men are expected to perform. To be successful, to get the girl, to live a good life, men must do. Whether it’s riding wheelies down the street on your bicycle to get that cute girl’s attention or to get a doctorate degree to ensure your personal success and your future family’s, Men must perform. Women’s arousal, attraction, desire and love are rooted in that conditional performance. The degree to which that performance meets or exceeds expectations is certainly subjective, and the ease with which you can perform is also an issue, but perform you must.
A lot of this relates to the standard Mental Point of Origin conversation.
Blue Pill men are conditioned to think two things:
III. You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority
Forget all those romantic cliches of the leading man proclaiming his undying love for the woman who completes him. Despite whatever protestations to the contrary, women do not want to be “The One” or the center of a man’s existence. They in fact want to subordinate themselves to a worthy man’s life purpose, to help him achieve that purpose with their feminine support, and to follow the path he lays out. You must respect a woman’s integrity and not lie to her that she is “your everything”. She is not your everything, and if she is, she will soon not be anymore.
Rollo,
I have been following your twitter account, even though I hate twitter. I like your style of debate. You don’t argue with people, instead you make a point and then bitch slap them with a link to one of your posts.
The header pictures on your posts are hard hitting truth bombs in itself.
Thanks again for another masterpiece post.
TFM said he’s never read my material before. I don’t buy it. The guy uses EXACTLY the terms and vernacular I use. Honestly, I think he’s read a lot of my work, but he’s repurposed it to feed back to his MGTOW followers. And I guess that’s cool. It’s part of the price I pay for insisting that the Red Pill is always ‘open source’.
Even public domain content should be referenced. TFM could be trying to take Rollo’s work.
… not smart enough to pull that off.
What do women want? Beauty is the ultimate chick crack. It is the coin of the feminine realm, the power lusted for in the deepest chasm of their heart, and they will sell themselves to have it. The drive for this experience is primal.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5hBb8-n7zU
Women in Love
http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/4240
Ambition in Love
http://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.1005.276&rep=rep1&type=pdf
Blax – Considering winning and ambition in relation to women these days, bitches can take the wind right out of a man’s sails. He can be sailing along mightily and without being a beta, she can easily rob him of his motivation. Just by association with him she will hitch hike on his efforts, ride his wave. As she projects his success to claim her stake in it, he is robbed of his own personal fulfillment. Just by being associated with her, god forbid being legally handcuffed to the parasite, his success becomes hers and her claim to it (behind… Read more »
Higgs Boson
What do women want?
How many books on that would you like?
https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss/133-7445748-0215157?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=what+women+want
Most of them appear to be blue pill.
HIggs Boson
What do women want?
This book, on the other hand….
https://www.amazon.com/What-Do-Women-Want-Adventures/dp/0061906093/ref=sr_1_14/133-7445748-0215157?ie=UTF8&qid=1532478331&sr=8-14&keywords=what+women+want
” Yes, I agree with you there are other mediums of success untouchable by the bitch. However, the bitch is invading virtually every corner of every male space now in an attempt to be equal and to simultaneously disrespect and destroy masculinity.”
The one place she can never invade without your permission and cooperation – your mind.
Dear Anonymous Reader,
I just turned over the keys to the kingdom. My bad. Tell them they are beautiful until they become so self-enchanted you will get whatever you desire, in most situations. AWALT. There, I said it.
“What do women want? ”
The standard answer is ” who cares ?” lol.
My answer is ” Unabashed masculinity “.
Yeah, they like fantasy and shiny shit and rolls of dough, but you ever hear of a chick divorcing a wealthy guy that’s paid for her lifestyle? Does that happen? ( rhetorical as fuck )
Women cannot provide answers concerning what they want. The stuff they do happen to speak into existence is highly unreliable.
Higgs Boson
. Tell them they are beautiful until they become so self-enchanted you will get whatever you desire, in most situations.
Pretty sure there’s more than one book on my Amazon search above that teaches flattery plus pedestalization, so you’re way too late with that particular sky-blue pill.
The market is already saturated. Better luck with your next attempt.
Blaximus Women cannot provide answers concerning what they want. The stuff they do happen to speak into existence is highly unreliable. The second book referenced above is pretty good reading, in a journalistic, breezy way. It features a few studies, such as the Waterloo, CA. study that shows women always lie about their N, and are aroused at the lubricity level by pretty much anything sexual. There’s more to it than that, but those parts are standouts because the studies are not gonna be replicated and having the correct names / dates makes online search easier. I told the story… Read more »
New twist on an old email scam. “I know who you are and I saw what you did”…wasn’t that a movie?
https://krebsonsecurity.com/2018/07/sextortion-scam-uses-recipients-hacked-passwords/
Open my eyes this morning.
have i really ever you used them? Have i really learned how to swim?
Dear Anonymous Reader,
Polarity isn’t pedalistation. Is the experience of energy in masculine and femine form. It is happiness.
Higgs Boson
Polarity isn’t pedalistation.
Flattery is. Especially empty flattery.
The 1970’s called. They want you and your disco ball back…
Too bad vids don’t post well anymore. This would a perfect time for some Frank Zappa…
Ive been Red Pill aware for about 4 years now. My focus is my own life and its goals, with the desire to enjoy women on my terms. However in the last year I’ve noticed a change in my attitude as I deeply internalize the Red Pill Awareness of Hypergamy. Women do love opportunistically and only opportunistically so when a woman shit tests me, although Ive mastered passing it, it still leaves me with a sense of “who the f*** do you think you are. So I’ve passed your dumbshit test… now what? You figure that for now you’ve made… Read more »
Male-female conversation at its most useful serves to allow for various levels and durations of eye contact. Plus of course facial expression and body language. A light tone helps, but the eyes are really doing the talking.
There’s an Outer Limits where the lovely but treacherous Sally Kellerman asks an alien being how he can speak English. “I read your eyes,” he replies. “They tell me what the words mean.”
~ “win at life”… topic’s been covered multiple times already. One of my favorite takes is Train Spotting: Mark “Rent-boy” Renton: “Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suit on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday morning. Choose sitting… Read more »
get Chuck’s new book ‘Adjustment Day’ for a fresh take.
…that’s Chuck Palahniuk, the guy who wrote Fight Club.
I learned so much from this
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FqrC_h6n0YA
Red pill truths echo in the hallways of time.
On the topic of conversation with women (was it on this thread?), I could not agree more with Blax and Sentient. I have met plenty of really tedious women and also many that were great company outside the bedroom. Both the tedious women and the fun ones were spread across the age range. There probably were more women who were good company who were older, but not massively disproportionate (the sweet spot for me in terms of being good company seems to be epiphany age chicks – including my Epiphany Girl from a couple years ago that HABD always talks… Read more »
A much longer post than I intended to write, but I don’t come here too often so what the hell. I picked up this website about 6 months ago, I can’t remember how I discovered it, and as a new reader here I have some comments that are aimed at, and may be helpful to, the newbies and RP wannabes that lurk here. I write as a never married or engaged 51 year old with zero LTRs behind me, a serial entrepreneur who travels a lot, mostly in Europe, works while traveling and who picks up a free female guide… Read more »
Really enjoyable story Flashman Jnr. The key take out, which I fully agree with is, you put your mission first, led your great life and invited others to participate …. with a 3 month expiry date. And you sincerely believe in your mission, well done.
You know, it’s funny, I get so much shit about my life from my life long friends who are mainly still in my home town, but one night one confessed to me that it’s only because they are all jealous.
Some guys don’t like dancing. That’s fine, if they also don’t like music, because dancing is nonverbal singing. If you don’t have music in your soul, you won’t sing or dance. Some guys don’t like dancing because they suck at leading. Now that’s a problem. Men shouldn’t suck at leading. The good news is that leading is a skill and men can work at it to improve it and eventually it becomes natural to them and easy to do. So, don’t be a quitter. (Yeah, this is aimed at guys like Culum, but not only Culum.) Furthermore, women sometimes use… Read more »
I am not used to using terms like “dog language” or “cat language”. But it appears that these are quite popular with the commentariat here. Let me try to clarify my comments above regarding conversation using these terms. – A man MUST learn to speak “cat language” to be successful with women. – It is not a requirement for a woman to speak “dog language” to get my attention. It is out of character for women to speak “dog language”. – A woman speaking “dog language” is a manipulation to get a Man to give up his frame (Epiphany Phase… Read more »
A Man who insists that a woman should speak “dog language” to get his attention (ASD, I am referring to you), is setting himself up for a trap, because when he comes across a woman speaking “dog language” he will PROJECT the “ideals” of a dog on a cat. Thanks, you’re right, this can be a trap. Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and Blax was sucking at his mother’s tit, girls tried harder to please men. Japanese courtesans could converse intelligently on history, art, politics, and a variety of subjects. But men don’t insist on this any more. Men… Read more »
If you don’t father kids, evolution says that you’re irrelevant. If you have kids but you don’t raise your kids well (maybe abandon them), then they will become society’s problems. Wildly hypergamous girls and weak, sissified men.
Csharppoet “but what do you win… a hypergamous feral animal that will bolt the second you get ill, or your company folds, or some other debilitating life event. ” Well this up here is pure bullshit so no wonder your still asking questions… You need to understand hypergamy in context. Look into War Brides, Alpha Widows and Ride or Die girls for more understanding. You need to understand “high water marks”, latency and decay, and that those concepts exist for her as well… Hypergamy is not a constant function like breathing. It is a reflex to stimuli, like the Patellar… Read more »
“But you will almost certainly NEVER change your life to any material degree or reach anywhere near your full potential with the dead weight of an LTR or marriage around your neck.”
http://www.delightfulknowledge.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/trump-funny-face-628×356.jpg
I enjoy conversation with women and there’s no need to settle for an airhead. Women CAN be curious, observant and funny, just about different things than men focus on.
But the words are largely just pretext for the eye contact, the energy and other non-verbals going on. Sure tone is important, but the dialogue is just a prop, a filler, like the Latin dummy type in a page-design mock-up.
My big dog is a dog but in many ways she speaks cat — responding to tone, eye contact and physical cues rather than vocabulary.
Ok, Sentient, proclaim the benefits of an LTR.
“My big dog is a dog but in many ways she speaks cat — responding to tone, eye contact and physical cues rather than vocabulary.”
Both dogs and cats use visuals and vocalization in their languages. There is even a considerable amount of commonality in their languages allowing them to interact. The gazelle knows that when the lion crouches it’s time to get out of Dodge. The lion knows that when the gazelle pops its head up it’s getting ready to get out of Dodge.
That doesn’t imply that their languages are the same.
ASD
Relationships are not commodities. You don’t run out and procure one, regardless of duration.
They are all reflections of you.
Scratch a failure, and you’ll find a failure.
Laughing out loud…. Flashman Jr, virtue signaling (vir·tue sig·nal·ing :the action or practice of publicly expressing opinions or sentiments intended to demonstrate one’s good character or the moral correctness of one’s position on a particular issue….), men in the manosphere questioning the value of an LTR…. WTF? Sentient is spot on: Relationships are a reflection of you. And you do get to make choices. What is so hard to understand about the fact that every man is different. Can’t you just look around? Can’t you sense when your buddy is satisfied with his castle and his queen in his kingdom… Read more »
@kfg Right, there are all kinds of cues going on, as in a male-female conversation. A written transcript of the conversation would be useless or even cringe-inducing, because it doesn’t include the vital non-verbal cues taking place. Especially the mutual eye-contact. The written transcript of a male-male conversation might tend to speak more for itself — as an exchange of information with maybe some rapport-building or dominance cues. I like women who can speak man, but as people here have pointed out you should be cautious and not read too much into that. “Frolic in the surf of her emotions… Read more »
@SJF Relationships are a reflection of you. Sometimes true, sometimes not. People have agency and sin. You might be a great leader and people might still not follow. Can’t you sense when your buddy is satisfied with his castle and his queen in his kingdom and he’s not searching for answers? answers, as in, strange? lol I’m pretty damn spoiled. I see examples of men all around me in real life …because you ensured that you live in a bubble…I get out where the rubber meets the road…some people don’t live in a bubble and don’t have it all together…Blax… Read more »
Right now my relationships with both daughters isn’t good. One is because I enforced my boundaries. The other one is because Mrs. Gamer fucked up and alienated our daughter. So, are the bad relationships reflections on me or on them? Few of you are empty nesters, so you are clueless about this. Once kids move out, they can change from how you reared them. Your kids have agency–especially after they move out. And your SO can fuck up your relationship with your kids. Your SO has agency and you cannot prevent them from causing trouble, even with good game. You… Read more »
“And I guess I developed a skill at knowing exactly what I wanted a long time ago” “…and you win a virtue-signalling cookie…” I actually intended to virtue signal with that. Good examples are out there for men. If you look for them. If you want to model yourself, look at a good model of masculinity and success. Look to those men in real life that are good, masterful and have the virtues you like. You get to choose. ” So, are the bad relationships reflections on me or on them?” They are a reflection of them. They make these… Read more »
@ASD:
“Right now my relationships with both daughters isn’t good. One is because I enforced my boundaries. The other one is because Mrs. Gamer fucked up and alienated our daughter. So, are the bad relationships reflections on me or on them?”
Probably yes, because for years you indulged in the “dog language” of Mrs Gamer thinking she is SMAAART and she fucked it up for you.
@ASD and other commenters: Thank you for sharing your personal real life struggles / experiences. Some commenters here (including me) make off the cuff comments, like the one I posted above. But I have utmost respect for the regular commenters here, even though we might have minor disagreements.
Another virtue signal from me: I’m so fucking impressed with where my two children are at right now.
Talk to me again after they’ve been out of the house for fifteen years.
Incubus, tell me about your kids and grandkids.
Probably yes, because for years you indulged in the “dog language” of Mrs Gamer thinking she is SMAAART
Lol, one of our biggest problems was Mrs. Gamer’s feelings getting hurt when I said she was stupid for something. She has academic smarts and knows how to lay tile and wallpaper, so she has some practical smarts as well. But even practical physics like warm air rises and cold air sinks and air currents is beyond her.
Wow, that’s the ultimate blue-pill-guy-finally-wising-up song — but if he were really wising up he would save his breath and the song would be just one-fourth as long
@ASD:
“Incubus, tell me about your kids and grandkids.”
I am in my late 30s, never married and never been in an LTR, and no children. A couple of “failed” STRs in the past and for the last two years I only spin plates and don’t keep one around for more than two months.
After he’s moved on to spinning plates:
“Lol, one of our biggest problems was Mrs. Gamer’s feelings getting hurt when I said she was stupid for something.” I didn’t actually read the original post. But there is something to be said about a man putting on his oxygen mask first. And a man pursuing his his dreams and highest self. And using The 48 Laws of Power for the benefit of him, and downstream, her. https://www.tke.org/files/file/The_48_Laws_of_Power.pdf Law 33 Discover Each (Wo)Man’s Thumbscrew Everyone has a weakness, a gap in the castle wall. That weakness is usually an insecurity, an uncontrollable emotion or need; it can also be… Read more »
LTRs are the only practical way to an heir to your throne.
Again, reproductive advantage assumes reproduction.
@ ASD
“Talk to me again after they’ve been out of the house for fifteen years.”
Says the controlling patriarch who is befuddled how to top down manage his empire.
“Talk to me again after they’ve been out of the house for fifteen years.”
I’ve been living my life under the assumption that I’m not going to be alive in 15 years. And frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn what my kids are doing then. I gave them a springboard. They can do with it whatever they want. So far, they are a reflection, and mirror, my wife and I.
I like this virtue signalling gig….
EI, how long have you all been empty nesters?
So far, they are a reflection, and mirror, my wife and I.
So were mine when they were living at home. The rest of your talk is just trash.
ASD
“Right now my relationships with both daughters isn’t good. One is because I enforced my boundaries. The other one is because Mrs. Gamer fucked up and alienated our daughter. So, are the bad relationships reflections on me or on them?”
You.
Also still curious about the B.O.B. situation. Very odd. Anyone else have thoughts?
He also does AFC sitting in the garage about to suck start a Mossberg:
ASD,
You assume the script has changed for your speshul situation. It hasn’t.
It’s irrelavant where the kids, wife or whatever are at.
What is relavant is you. Are you acting or reacting re: the most significant parts of your life? Are you one step ahead or are things happening that diplease you and you’re not sure what to do?
SJF, you’ve been successful at creating a bubble that your kids live in. You’ve given them some advantages and that’s for the good. But can they handle adversity and living outside the bubble? Do they have experience living outside the bubble?
The idea that relationships are a mirror of you is nonsense. Your behavior is a mirror of you. And virtuous and valuable behavior can provoke envy and strife, which tarnish relationships. …48 Laws
Re this nonsense that bubbles are places without rubber on roads… Money is palliative not curative. And like many palliative treatments can quickly destroy the patient if used in excess or for too long.
Different roads and different rubber sure… But same old life happening regardless.
“And virtuous and valuable behavior can provoke envy and strife, which tarnish relationships.”
And yet people that know this also know how to find common ground and relate to people and disarm them…
Hmmm… Relating? Relationship? Go figure…
Tune in
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. “But can they handle adversity and living outside the bubble? Do they have experience living outside the bubble?”
We’ll see. They are going to have to. They’ve seen that movie with reference examples before.
In a Liminal Space rule no. 2 is break that bubble. They are in a super liminal space right now. I trust their instincts.
@kfg
Some similar thoughts from Y&T
https://youtu.be/92kCsKuG4Q8
Incubus – A woman speaking “dog language” is a manipulation to get a Man to give up his frame (Epiphany Phase Women and TradCons resort to this out of necessity). Or she may have been trained by her father, brother, husband, etc. to speak that way, speaking from personal experience. As a boy I was around a lot of military families (active, reserve, retired) and the older women knew their place in the hierarchy. Even now I know of mil-wives who can “speak dog” for communication purposes. Also I’ve known female academics who could “speak dog” because some man in… Read more »
…And just one more classic from Y&T, because
1) It’s surprisingly bitter about Love and Ambition
2) It’s as truly bad as only a bad 80s rock vid can be
https://youtu.be/zWrqI1FI4TU
@ ASD
What’s with all this DEERing and buffers?
“Do they have experience living outside the bubble?”
“Incubus, tell me about your kids and grandkids.”
“Few of you are empty nesters, so you are clueless about this. ”
“So were mine when they were living at home. The rest of your talk is just trash.”
My man, we know what’s up. We’re on your side. We want to hear you say what’s in your heart not your head and you can then move forward.
This isn’t about our children’s ages.
Learning to speak cat with ASD:
@EI I know you’re trying to help and I’m not DEERing. I have a plan. I wasn’t expecting projected hypergamy aka “mother-in-law” syndrome, so it blindsided me. The other daughter is a surgeon–very manipulative and controlling, like surgeons are, and she transgressed my boundaries. With the first daughter, I thought that it was just a cow-cow problem that would sort itself out and I just needed to maintain frame, but that isn’t the case. With the second daughter, I just need to maintain frame and continue to be affectionate, but frugal with my attention. I need to go see the… Read more »
Money is palliative not curative.
copper pot/clay pot fable
@AR: Great comment. In my experience women resort to “dog language” to evade responsibility, avoid shame, maintain the façade of “Madonna” image – and they use it only with men they are not sexually attracted to – fathers, brothers, boss, male “friends”, orbiters, potential “Beta Bucks” prospects and Beta husbands. “Cat language” is reserved for her “whore squad” and Alpha Males. A lot of blue pilled men are shocked when they finally see the feral nature of their Oneitis because she never spoke to them in “cat language”. Dog Language (Madonna) / Cat Language (Whore) Dog Language (Facebook) / Cat… Read more »
“Madonna and Whore are two sides of the same coin”
If I am an Alpha, she has no other option but to present the “Whore” in her to satisfy me.
If I am a Beta (and she is desperate), she will present the “Madonna” in her to extract commitment from me.
“manipulative and controlling” Oh yeah…only in so far as you let them. O.k. those who need to control are only as good as if they can keep all the balls in the air….usually by browbeating others into place. The money greases the behavior too. Oh btw female surgeons are chicks too and respond well enough. They do have more financial options and the dudes they marry overcompensate in a beta insecurity fashion for the outsized income the woman pulls…..even if the guy is a surgeon too as he is not by default the household leader. Lots of equalism going on.… Read more »
“This is what happens when parents become attached to their kids success beyond reproduction. If you care a lot about a child’s non reproductive success, and accordingly invest emotional and other equity into their careers….guess what? They’ll value that too and into the matrix they go.” Agreed 100% A parent should raise their children only with their “reproductive success” in mind. Raise the boys to be “masculine” and raise girls to be “feminine”. Unfortunately, now boys and girls in a similar way with egalitarian principles and the FI will ensure that overtime boys are emasculated and girls become more masculine.… Read more »
“copper pot/clay pot fable”
People learn (what to do/not to do) from social interactions- positive and negative feedback. A person with a high level of social intelligence will be particularly cued into this.
But social feedback is going to differ depending on one’s personal circumstance. There’s really little way to screen for this.
That’s why people who obtain fame/wealth/power often “get high on their own supply”.
They don’t have the same incentives or disincentives as other people.
Their “jokes” are always funny, positive reinforcement always available.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qj9MTcXHdlE
Illustrative.
“As Game becomes increasingly more difficult to deny or misdirect for the feminine, the natural next step in accepting it becomes qualifying its acceptable uses”
Rollo, your depth of understanding of women and womankind, never ceases to amaze me.
@EI Do you seriously think I don’t know all that? I don’t talk about daughter Gamer’s career. Her career doesn’t help her in our family. She’ll be making big bucks very soon and will be inviting Mrs. Gamer and me to events. I will decline and Mrs. Gamer will go. She will come over to visit and I will be a little affectionate to daughter and granddaughter, but will not give either much time. Mrs. Gamer, of course, will dote on the granddaughter. I will try to spend time with SIL. Daughter Gamer may try to block me. I’ll try… Read more »
ASD,
It’s like this. If you come off butt hurt about her success (not going to events), or you come off proud of her success, either way you’re emotionally invested in that success.
Buuut, if you come off non plussed about her success and yet relaxed, happy and esp. affectionate to the granddaughter, there’s only upside. Btw, no smark question, why box out the granddaughter? What she done? IMO all this is lowering yourself to their level.
Ever consider her inviting you to events as a tribute to you?
@EI
Granddaughter is a baby. She won’t miss me for a couple of years. I don’t want to give daughter Gamer a handle she can use.
Daughter Gamer will be free to come visit us, but I won’t benefit from her money. That’s a signal that I need to send to inhibit her attempts to manipulate me.
“nonplussed” means “confused.” I inferred that you meant “indifferent.”
Performance and Creation
“I know I am labouring the point but my brain is experiencing a dissonance when I read all this info from a married man and I read opinions sternly critical of MGTOW here. It’s like everything you guys say points to a bloody obvious conclusion, but then you go “no, it’s not like that; despite it all women complete you”. How??” @Handmade I have to say I agree with this statement. Although as Rollo has pointed out numerous times, we (as men) have no choice but to play the game. MGTOW to many is a fiction. Men pretending not to… Read more »
2.NORTH AMERICANinformal (of a person) not disconcerted; unperturbed. I’m convinced you’re holding onto the doorjamb as life drags you out of your soi-disant RP discotheque into your own liminal space. “I won’t go!!” says Grandpa ASD. Boxing out your daughter, relatives comes off sour grapes. You’re smarter than that. She’s leaving your sphere of influence and will take the granddaughter with her. Don’t be so sure either will be in your life if you don’t know this: Your life is rapidly coming to an end. Either you redifine how to approach your changing world or become the incredible shrinking man… Read more »
Boxing out your daughter, relatives comes off sour grapes. You’re smarter than that. She’s leaving your sphere of influence Lol, she and SIL are moving to my town to be close to us. They are looking at renting a house fifteen (!) minutes away. I was pushing for an hour away, minimum. Guess who is the most invested. I am careful to not appear sour grapes, but to make it clear that I won’t be dictated to or manipulated. I am warm, but not too available. I’ll be somewhat available as long as the event isn’t expensive. Doctor daughter (DD)… Read more »
Mrs. Gamer and I are scheduled to go out of town to visit relatives right after DD, SIL, and Mrs. Gamer drive into town. So I’m not “boxing off” relatives, but am busy with other relatives who invited us to visit. Just playing the courtier. And we attended a party given by other relatives this summer…went on a dinner train with a mystery theater where I was an actor…doing Improvisation (which helped my acting)…–so, no, I’m not just playing the dance game…I have discontinued some other social stuff (board games and ballroom dance)… …my activities and social connections are not… Read more »
Interesting read an sex and children and fashion and performance.
https://www.businessinsider.com/target-walmart-criticized-by-parents-over-inappropriate-clothing-2018-7
Patiently aggressive
@Waffles, if you’re still around Your question is where celebrity watching can be of value. Elon Musk first comes to mind. Rob Kardashian is another. Elon is rather a key example if you look around for the situations he’s been in and some of comments he’s made regarding women he’s been involved with. Alpha mindset is not a demographic is common saying. The red pill doesn’t gain more importance as your income rises. And a high income, nor even high status, will inoculate you from needing the red pill and game. If you personally have an income that is to… Read more »
Anyone have the best vetting stategy besides looking for a women who can do something that can not be repaid in return?
Not specific to this post, but every I read a comment that starts with “I’ve been red pill for …” my first thought is – if you are (really) red pill, you don’t need to announce it. Men who read the comments will be the judge – by the words you use (or if they saw you in person, how you carry yourself, how you address other people, how you act toward women, etc). Just like with most things in life – the facts will be revealed, you don’t need to state them like a lawyer in an opening statement… Read more »
….I’ve been red pill all muh life and didn’t even know it.
XD
Let the record show.
Water Cannon Boy “The red pill doesn’t gain more importance as your income rises. And a high income, nor even high status, will inoculate you from needing the red pill and game.” Long time no see bruh. Money. I actually hate money/fiat fucking currency, but alas it is a necessary evil in the manner that our current society is constituted. A man can be small, ugly, weak and stupid as fuck but millions will kiss his ass if he has enough cash. Cash= The Great Equalizer in a lot of people’s minds. I don’t even have enough ” lols ”… Read more »
…um… that’s ” dough “, not ” doe “. Leave the deer alone.
Rest well everyone
Ambition and obervation’s
Sniff…Blax killed…BAMbi
Tin Man America Sometimes late When things are real And people share the gift of gab Between themselves Some are quick To take the bait And catch the perfect prize That waits among the shells But Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man That he didn’t, didn’t already have And Cause never was the reason for the evening Or the tropic of Sir Galahad So please believe in me When I say I’m spinning round, round, round, round Smoke glass stain’d bright colors Image going down, down, down, down Soapsud green like bubbles Oz never did give nothing… Read more »
So what I was saying was that I never have seen a comment that started with: “I’ve been red pill for …”
My daughter is a self proclaimed feminist who hates men. I do not understand her thinking, in fact I find it quite insulting to me personally because if I have one thing I can point to in my life I am very proud of, it is that I gave my kids an outstanding dad. I met him at age 18, we married when I was 22. I had no history of attraction to or playing with bad boys. I was and still am very attracted to my husband because he has the best character of any person I have ever… Read more »