Blue Pill Trauma

Something I’m asked a lot is,…

“How do you unplug a guy from the Matrix? All of this Red Pill awareness about intersexual dynamics has radically changed / saved my life for the better!  I want to let my friends, my brothers, my dad, know about how this knowledge will help them in their relationships, with the women their involved with, and dealing with women in life in general.

This stuff is SO IMPORTANT. But I run into such resistance from even my close friends and family. What can I do? I want to give these guys your book and discuss it rationally with them. I want to pass on this awareness like you encourage, but it’s like they’re just unwilling to see the truth. They don’t even want to talk about it. They just want to persist in doing shit that’s frustrating them and dealing with women from a blue pill perspective. Rollo, how do I help my brother?”

There was a time when I was a moderator on the SoSuave forums when we would discuss exactly this question. The frustration of knowing that your brother or your best friend could be living such a better life if only they would open their eyes and see how they’ve been trapped in a way of thinking about intersexual relations that they were conditioned to accept from a very early age. Believe me, I still get frustrated today. I see stories about how a guy like the one in the discussion above here is on the verge of despondency or suicide because they’re unable or unwilling to consider anything outside the box that the Blue Pill will allow for.

That’s a pretty serious thought. Blue Pill conditioning, and a guy’s capacity to break away from it, is literally a matter of life and death. Now, imagine you’re a Red Pill aware man and you have the experience of seeing your best friend or brother’s descent into relationship madness only because his ego-investments in the Old Set of Books wont permit him to think any other way. They’d rather put a noose around their neck than reconsider their investments in how things ought to be between men and women.

She’s My Everything

We’re going to come back to this question later in this essay, but now I’d like you to have a look at the IM exchange I had a reader make me aware of on Twitter this week. I apologize for the resolution; the tweet was deleted not long after I commented on it and I had to rely on screen captures. What you’re looking at here is an exchange between a very invested Blue Pill guy and the thought process guys like this typically go through when the woman they’ve made their ‘everything’ wants them gone. There’s a lot going on in this and I wanted to parse it out here. When you’re Red Pill aware for any length of time it can sometimes be confusing to see the thought process that Blue Pill conditioning predisposes a guy to. The Red Pill Lens is one of the gifts (and curses) of having unplugged, and internalizing the awareness can make us somewhat confused or jaded to the experiences of guys who are still plugged in and trying to make their blinded understanding of intersexual dynamics work for them.

“Can this guy really not see why this girl wants to get away from him?” From a Red Pill perspective we might think this guy is an idiot for not seeing what he’s doing. It’s plain as day for us so their must be something wrong with him, right? Usually, the only thing wrong is that these guys’ Blue Pill conditioning has limited them to understanding their situations from that old set of books – the rule set that they believe (like a religion) that ‘quality women’ acknowledge and play by too. Lets try to put this jadedness aside for a moment.

[…] I can’t take my mind off of you no matter what I do and yesterday I literally cried for an hour in my room because I didn’t know what to do. I just really need you in my life and it kills me to know that I have messed our relationship up,…

This kid’s (it reads like he’s an adolescent) whole exchange is riddled with self-incrimination. This is an intrinsic part of Blue Pill conditioning – the guy is always at fault in any break up. Even with his now ex’s admission of her own complicity in their split, he’ll have none of it. If a relationship, a marriage, fails it is always because a guy wasn’t invested enough; even if she cheated on him the Blue Pill conditioned mind will only accept his complicity in her looking outside the relationship. I should also add that this is an integral part of the Promise Keepers mentality as well as the ‘Oprah-Marriage Counselor Approved’ notion that “relationships take a lot of work” and it’s always a man’s responsibility to qualify himself for a woman’s intimacy by maintaining that work.

As a result, the Blue Pill mind automatically defaults to self-blame and looks to find ways to negotiate some kind of new work-program that will ‘fix’ the ‘broken’ relationship he somehow caused. Blue Pill conditioned men are still men, and as such they default to the deductive reasoning that we’re largely predisposed to. So in that Blue Pill state it seems like logic to look for solutions that will put the relationship back together again. This is how Blue Pill men’s minds work; they have a set of (Old Books) rules they believe everyone is, or ought to be, playing by and since he also believes the lie of coequal agency (blank-slate) between men and women he thinks a woman’s desire and intimacy can be deductively bargained with.

He realizes his failing and will be sure to correct it. But that’s not how all this works. In fact, it’s this very acknowledgement that only reinforces this woman’s decision to leave him. Hypergamy is rooted in doubt, and it turns out he is as Beta and optionless as her Hypergamous hindbrain suspected. His reaction to her confirms it.

[…] how can you just cut me out of your life so quickly? I want to make things better and work on our relationship because I know what it can be, why don’t you want to work on it?

I’m trying to avoid most of the clingy emotional shit in this exchange. Blue Pill guys will pepper in their emotive state even in the best of times in a relationship, but when they’re facing a break up, that’s when all the stuff he’s been taught about vulnerability being a strength turns into a huge liability for him. Not to mention it disgusts the woman leaving him.

Here we see the standard Blue Pill bewilderment over why this woman he’s deeply invested in can so casually blow him off and move on. Isn’t she playing by the same rulebook he’s been playing by since he learned to dutifully put women as his mental point of origin? I linked my War Brides essay in his quote above because this is the nuts and bolts reason as to how women can, and often do, move on so quickly. It is literally part of women’s preinstalled mental firmware to have the capacity to turn on a dime with their emotions.

Next he makes the Blue Pill appeals to Relational Equity and declares his willingness to ‘work on the relationship’ in order to fix it. In a breakup this ‘work on the relationship’ narrative works against women; particularly if the guy they’re leaving is overly invested in equalism. He’s been taught that “open communication is the key to any healthy relationship®” so he’s confused as to why his coequal ‘soul mate’ wouldn’t want to work on things and patch it up. When things are good the ‘work on things’ narrative is a benefit for women getting the things they want, but when she wants to leave a Blue Pill guy (usually because she wants to open herself to better Hypergamous options) it’s a leash around her neck. Why doesn’t she want to ‘work on the relationship’?

This is really what defines his outlook on this breakup, but he can’t see that it’s what his Blue Pill conditioning has embedded in his ego. He is incapable of interpreting his situation in any other way.

So, yeah, it gets worse. Now we discover that this guy has done exactly what I explained most Blue Pill men do when they define themselves by their ego-investments: the Blue Pill kills their capacity not to just achieve their dreams, but to have dreams or ambitions at all. We have a guy whose dreams center on being the “perfect boyfriend”; the guy who’ll literally do anything to make it work. A ‘good relationship’ is his highest aspiration, so when that woman isn’t playing her part – playing by the ‘do anything to make it work‘ rule set – the response is usually to find fault in himself, because to find fault in his ‘soul mate’ is to question the whole Blue Pill mental apparatus.

But still, she won’t play ball, so there are 3 possibilities: The first and go-to reason is that he must’ve fucked something up somehow. The next is that there’s something wrong with her because she’s not playing by the same rules he was conditioned to believe women play by. And lastly there’s something wrong with his entire ego-invested Blue Pill outlook on the whole rule set. That last one is the most difficult and unlikely conclusion a guy will ever come to.

Out Come the Knives

More often than not this is the stage at which the woman involved begins building her defenses against the attacks her ex Beta boyfriend is lobbing at her in an effort to explain why “working on the relationship” isn’t solving his fear of having to be single (and optionless) again. You’ve got a Blue Pill conditioned guy who believes he’s done everything by the books and is now very confused that his commitment to ‘making it work‘ hasn’t earned him the Relational Equity that any coequal, co-rational, woman should count towards his value to her. Whatever he did that was ‘wrong’ should be paid for by that equity. And anyway, the rules clearly state that open communication and negotiation are what’s expected from her too, right?

Only, that ‘equity’ isn’t protecting him from a Hypergamy that can’t afford for her to spend a minute longer with him. But he doesn’t know this, so, like any deductive Beta he pleads his case and this is what sets off her defensiveness.

Even the sweetest, most unassuming wallflower of a girl has her ego intimately linked with Hypergamy. Optimizing Hypergamy is her Darwinistic prime directive in life. So when just the notion of her being forced to compromise that optimization looks like a possibility she rebels with the intensity of a survival instinct level of self-preservation. There was a time when social controls were expected to buffer the worst exploits women would use to optimize Hypergamy. Arranged marriages, social and religious conventions, peer pressure, etc. were all, in some part, a means to controlling this survival instinct, gut level anxiety – and instituting a degree of control over Hypergamy by men and society.

Today, in our post Sexual Revolution dystopia, the idea that a woman might be personally or socially expected to compromise her Hypergamous stakes in life is met with that reflexive, feral, survival instinct. This is why women bristle at the idea that they might ever need to “settle” on Mr. Good Enough once they reach their sexual market expiration date. It’s like telling their hindbrains that they need to consider spending the rest of their lives invested in children that aren’t as good as they might be had they held out a little longer. Hypergamy bets a woman’s life on a future with a given man, so yes, it’s very muck a survival instinct.

All of this gets compressed into the hostility a woman feels when a ‘lesser man’, one confirmed to be unworthy of that lifetime bet, essentially tells her she wrong for betting on him and then removing her bet. That feral response comes at him full force, but only after she’s absolved her complicity in playing along with his Blue Pill paradigm. She needs to be able to explain to her ego that she did try to ‘let him down easy’ before she ripped off the bandaid in one go. Now he’s “crazy”, “needy”, has “mommy issues” is “insecure” and various other rationales as needed to keep her ego blameless for what she really knew was his dedication to the Blue Pill.

He’s Blue Pill, but He’s Crazy

I’m sure there are men and women alike reading this and thinking, well, this guy is genuinely disturbed. Maybe he’s just an Incel who made good for a while and then his codependency surfaced and she wisely ejected from the relationship. That seems like an obvious take, but I’m going to argue that all Blue Pill conditioned guys are this guy. That life-long conditioning plays on men’s innate Idealism and fosters exactly his way of thinking. When women are your conditioned Mental Point of Origin, rearranging your life to accommodate “working on the relationship” is a natural progression. Getting Zeroed Out is a lot easier when you’re taught to believe that you literally cannot live without a woman.

Finally, we come to the point where this guy – maybe the friend you’ve been trying to unplug before something like this happened – is confronted with staying the course, self-righteously accepting his dumping and clings even more so to his Blue Pill Lens on the world, or he develops some introspect and confronts the idea that his outlook on the set of rules he’s been playing by is not valid. The most common way men find the Red Pill community is via an experience like this. Unfortunately, it often requires a significant life trauma to shake the sleeping man awake, but having your outlook on intersexual dynamics challenged is the only way most men will ever be open to anything contradictory.

When men ask me, “Rollo, my friend, brother, dad, are heading towards something awful, how do I get them to realize they need to unplug?” I have to say wait for the right time. There are some guys who will make this transition on their own and all it might take is your handing him my book and talking about it. There are some guys who will come to it because what they’re doing isn’t bearing fruit in their personal lives and they become Red Pill aware because circumstances pushed them that way. But most men are Betas. Most of them have lived through an extensive conditioning that put them right where this guy is, and most of them will fight you tooth and nail for trying to convince them they were raised the wrong way.

It’s sometimes just easier to ghost on these men, but what do you do when it’s your brother who White Knights at any opportunity in spite of being run through the machine of a Blue Pill social order?  My best advice is to wait for your moments. A lot of people will tell you that it’s manipulative to lay the Red Pill on a guy who’s at his most vulnerable, but it requires a stripping away of all the Blue Pill pretense and mind-fuckery to really make a cogent case and unplug the guy.

I would always advise that you stay honest, open and forgiving of the guy. Most likely he’s told you how fucked up or misogynistic your world view is in his White Knighting efforts in the past. It’s like he ridiculed you for thinking you could ‘educate him’. You have to let that go when you make your case for Red Pill awareness. It would be better to ghost him than to be vindictive, gloating or tell him “I toldja so.” Let him tell you you told him so when he thanks you later.


As an aside here I need to draw readers’ attention to just how vulnerable this shit makes Blue Pill, Beta mindset men to the predations of what I call “Success Porn” brokers. One of the most fucked up outcomes of understanding how Blue Pill idealism affect men is the desire to capitalize on this weakness by Purple Pill life-coaching hacks. One in particular is RSD’s (Real Social Dynamics) new “get me a girlfriend game” program that, in my opinion, plays directly on this hopeful Blue Pill “make it work” idealism.

“Life Coaches” see this neediness as a perfect niche to sell Blue Pill dreams back to guys who want to cling to their Blue Pill security blankets in Red Pill awareness. How miraculous would it seem to think you’re Red Pill savvy enough to make all your old Blue Pill dreams – the ones you went through hell to disabuse yourself of – come true. Hacks like this are too happy to ruin your life for you in rekindling that fantasy as long as you buy the premier edition of their “program”. Caveat emptor.

 

451 comments

  1. Totally agree with the assessment that all blue pill men are this way. If you really buy into blue pill beliefs of open communication and relational equity – a “sudden” break up is incredibly devestating.

    I can definitely understand where he’s coming from – because that’s how it “feels”. And – as all good blue pill men – feelings are reality right?

    Hopefully he can find some red pill truths to help him in his recovery.

  2. unfortunately, i think that men are becoming more blue pill over time.

    the oldest boy who used to be my son, got married a year ago. i recently found out that he has added his wife’s maiden name to his, in a hyphenated “hers-his” format.

    he’s a public school teacher, so i guess he’s bought in to the liberal/anti-patriarchy mindset.

    pansy…

  3. Rollo, I´m curious why you categorize RSD as being blue pill. They have released videos recently where they say things like ¨The more beautiful a woman is, the more depraved and degenerate her boyfriend will be (due to hypergamy)¨ and talk about how telling girls that you have STDs and multiple baby mammas will actually increase her attraction for you due to preselection. They talk about how being a ‘fuckboy’ (massive disagreeable douche) is a great strategy if you want sex with attractive young women. These seem like raw truths that are the very opposite of blue pill. Do you believe that having a girlfriend itself is now blue pill, and that it is not realistic to have a positive, mutually beneficial relationship with a woman? Are you fully MGTOW at this point, or do you still see any value at all in gaming women to have sex and relationships with them?

    What I´m asking is this: Does merely teaching guys how to get girlfriends automatically make RSD blue pill in your eyes, or is there something about the way that they are doing it that is blue pill? If the latter, can you actually point to something they have said that you find objectionable? I always thought you supported teaching guys game so they could have options with women, so I´m a little confused if you have indeed moved to the belief that having any kind of relationships with women at all is now blue pill. If that is your belief, what options are left for men? Prostitution or sexbots? To say that all relationships with women are now hopeless to me seems overly cynical and pessimistic. I know from exeprience that it is still possible to meet women, game them, and have mutually beneficial relationships.

  4. ” … I´m curious why you categorize RSD as being blue pill…

    Lmmfao till I shart my pants.

  5. Poosykilla

    RSD teaches, among other things, the pedestalization of random assed chicks.

    The options that are left for men are the exact same one’s that men have been born with ( Ballz and Brains and Brawn ).

    Anything, and I mean ANYTHING that teaches a man to make any woman a ” mission ” or a reason for doing anything is something men need to divorce themselves from asap.

    Pussy on the brain via encouragement is less than weak. Faking shit to impress women into bed is for kids/teen boys – not grown ass men.

    ANy grinning fuckwad that espouses that shit is a DEEEEEPPPPPP shade of Blue. Bluer even, than most AFC betas.

  6. Rollo,

    See, this shit here burns muh nuts.

    The guy – pussykilla, seems like he cannot fathom how to have a ” relationship ” with a female outside of PUA teaching, even the bullshit pedestal/ Laughing boy crap. All of the fucking essays here, and some dudes just cannot get it, or have been so hypnotized by some boot camping Svengalis that everything else just doesn’t compute any longer.

    Fuck!!!

    Aggra-fuckin-vating.

    Okay. Woo-Saahhh.

    I’m done.

  7. Dude, I´ve probably had way more successful relationships and fucked way more women than you have. Though I suppose from your MGTOW outlook, that makes me ´blue pill´. Before I had ever even heard the term ´the game´ I had multiple long term relationships going on simultaneously. I´ve lived with two girlfriends in the same house and probably had more three ways than you even have notches. Why? Because I´ve always had a high sex drive, and I always put effort into making sure I had access to enough pussy to keep me satisfied. I improved my skills over the years through hard work, the same way I improved other areas of my life. Though I have never bought an RSD product or taken a bootcamp, I have taken some of their ideas over the years and added them to my own system for picking up women, the same with Rollo´s blog. That being said, I agree that they have plenty of woo-woo self help concepts and pure marketing BS mixed in with their legitimate ideas.

    So what do you do? Fuck your sexbot? And you think that makes you superior to guys who can actually go out and get women? So you´ve made up some bitter philosophy which rationalizes your own failure with women, so you can look down on men who actually succeed with them? You´re no different than a feminist. I´ll continue to fuck attractive women using whatever means works, and you can continue to jerk off to cartoons or whatever the fuck you do.

    Here´s a little reality for you: Men have a biological need for sex, the same way they have a need for food, shelter and other things. If your need is not met, you will suffer. You must do the work that it takes to meet your needs. If you succeed, you will be infinitely happier. You SHOULD make meeting your needs as a human being a goal in your life. If you can´t get enough food to feed yourself, you’re god damn right that should be a goal. The same with sex, having friends, or any other basic need.

    Because you cower in fear and are afraid to do what it takes to face the challenge of life, your needs go unmet, and you are miserable. You try to take it out on someone like me who rises to the challenge, but I don´t give a shit – I´m getting laid. I don´t give a shit about your philosophy that rationalizes being a loser. Throw as many academic terms at it as you want – you´re just a male Andrea Dworkin.

  8. By the way Blaximus, you´re the exact type of person that should study RSD, Rollo, or anyone else who gives game advice. If you actually watched one of their videos, you´d notice that one of the first things they, or any other game teacher, advises is to take women off the pedestal. Half their videos are them clowning on modern women, talking about how vapid and childish they are, how stupid their lifestyles are, how they eat shitty food and don´t do exercise, and hit the wall by 30. Anyone who actually goes out an interacts with hot women – trust me, they won´t have them on a pedestal for long. It´s actually hard not to slide into cynicism and become a blatant misogynist. But women do have positive qualities as well, and there are good ones out there. Don´t give up. Force yourself to go out and get over your mental haze. When you are not only getting laid, but actually have positive, intelligent women who support your goals in life and help you achieve them, believe me, it´s worth it.

  9. ” Dude, I´ve probably had way more successful relationships and fucked way more women than you have…”

    Srlsly?

    You don’t come here often huh?

  10. Ohhhh, okay.

    How about this here _ You’re right, I’m wrong, and I have no clue what the hell I’m talking about.

    If only I’d gone out more in life. If only I still went out. If only I could die going out and hanging out. We can go out forever and ever and ever and ever... Nothing is more important.

    I’m ashamed, because I’ve wasted 57 years on this earth, and I still don’t know shit, don’t have a clue what Game is, and I no longer suffer through RSD videos ( yes, I have watched quite a few …buuutttt you weren’t here for that..).

    Again, you’re right and I’m misguided.

    Please, continue with your queries/theorem.

  11. Holy shit! Can it get any worse than this? How old is this turd?

    GROW THE FUCK UP JAKE!!!

    DO YOU HEAR THIS? GROW THE FUCK UP!!!!

    “……I can’t talk to them about it. And I just cant seem to talk to my family about this because for the first time in our relationship I don’t care what anyone else thinks about us.”

    Those words reveal A LOT about what is really going on in Jakes mind and his real motives whether he is honest about them or not.

    First, he is intentionally hiding something about the “relationship” from his friends and family. Whether he has ever divulged it to them in the past or not makes no difference. He doesn’t want to discuss it with them. Why? because he knows or fears they will tell him things he doesn’t want to hear! He doesn’t want to hear the truth about his “relationship” from outside observers, or from Sabrina.

    However, HE absolutely knows the truth about it! How the hell else would he be able to make the decision to avoid hearing it!!!???

    Second, his entire verbally vomited diatribe of infantile diarrhea is nothing but extremely pathetic impotent GAME played at the most infantile immature ineffective level imaginable. He keeps referring to a relationship that no longer exists undoubtedly and very stupidly expecting that she will be roped back in by that tactic combined with garrulous verbose expressions of extreme helplessness.

    For Gods sake, no girl wants to be banged by an infant! Or! thinks one is capable of supporting her!

    HELLO!!!

    This is so fucking basic.

    WHAT A FUCKING SISSY!!!

    He needs his ass kicked…HARD!

    Jake is not having and did not have a “relationship” with Sabrina. Jake has a relationship with a fantasy that Jake made up in his own mind and projected on to Sabrina. His grossly repulsive whiny sick clingy begging proves to anyone with a shred of common sense that he is little more than a putrid extremely annoying pestering parasite. Sabrina would justifiably and most likely be relieved if Jake committed suicide and would undoubtedly feel strongly that she absolutely made the right decision to dump him!

  12. That´s all you got Blaximus? A little whiny sarcasm, and you capitulate? I find it sad, but most men are like you. I see it all the time when I go out. I´ll be talking to a girl in a group with a couple other guys. For a while, they´ll try to hang on in the conversation, but I just keep cutting off their conversational threads, talking louder, and redirecting the girl´s attention to me. It usually only takes about fifteen minutes before they become demoralized and sulk away. I guess most men just don´t have the stomach for a fight anymore. Soon as things heat up, they´re looking for an out. Oh well, more pussy for me.

  13. PUA is for poser sissys who want everyone, especially themselves, to believe they are not sissys. You can’t put wings on a pig and expect it to fly like an eagle. There is no fuck by number. The universe did not make fuck that way. Thank God it didn’t. It would be boring impotent limp dick sissy fuck.

  14. Any reasonable-sounding comment/question/argument containing these 3 trigger words:

    “RSD”
    “beautiful women”
    “using game in a sentence having anything to do with bedding said beautiful women”

    will be met with former pussy slayer, Blax, predictable reaction.

    To Blax, any man spending any fraction of his day thinking about strategies/tactics/frames you want to set in an interaction, the way you dress/approach/talk/touch/look at a girl, like Blax once a upon a time spent his time thinking about, is putting women on a pedestal

  15. Oh, God, I cringe reading this. I cringe hard. My hope is that all it takes is one for this guy. Mine took two marriages detonating and I still have traces of that Blue Pill that appear unbidden at the oddest of times like bad PTSD memories.

    I do know that getting divorced-raped the first time and cucked the second still wasn’t enough to re-wire me despite my delving in RP. It took a third woman acting really badly to finally let the old set of books fall into the fire. That one was actually the hardest because I actually walked out on her and left her in a hotel room never to look back.

    Every subsequent woman whether it was a ONS or something longer, has been kept at an emotional arm’s length. The result is many nights alone but a huge growth in my business, professional accomplishments, and just plain happiness.

    Here’s what’s happening now: The young guys who work for me observe the comings and goings of the various women in my life because I live where my business is and ask me questions. I drop “hints” about RP to them in the form of Socratic dialogue. I point them to TRM and other related online resources and we often talk while working side-by-side. What they’re intrigued by is my DGAF attitude.They’re interested in what I have to say about women because the only thing they think about is pussy and cars. We discuss arcane concepts like the 2/3 rule, hypergamy, the menstrual cycle and how it shapes behavior. We discuss SMV and mating strategies and most importantly, we discuss why men fall into the trap of “oneitis”. We always talk about self-development. One young man actually left (on good terms) to start his own business and we frequently talk and text about business-related issues. Almost never about women.

    What happened to this guy happened to me…..twice. I survived and learned and was pissed off for a long time but I’m reasonably calm now.

    Thanks for this post, Rollo. I needed this.

  16. Funny.

    Lets you and Blaximus fight.

    Blax will stay discussing things for 4 seconds.

    RSD just doesn’t get it because they are selling, selling and always being closing successfully.

    They don’t have time to invest in developing pussy chasers into Red Pill masculine men.

    You can kill pussy all you want but pussy is a complement to your life not the focus of it.

    RSD is selling you on making it the focus of your life. But until it is not. You seem healthy, even if you haven’t given any of your fucking demographics.

    No one here is saying pussy is not good and releasing from constraint. It’s fun as hell.

    Blue Pill is somewhat Apha masculine clinically retarded. Half the man you want to be.

    Funny, I never see stuff in PUA about tribal masculine behavior without pathological groupthink. I see pathological groupthink in RSD PUA.

    Thanks for diverting the OP which I didn’t read cause I don’t do Blue Pill.

    You might get a lot of benefit out of Red Pill Awareness is you didn’t pre-suppose what it is about.

    I didn’t watch all of this, but the following link is and answer to your question about what Rollo’s beef is about what RSD comes about lately.

    RSD is masculine lite. Masculine polarity with women and complementarity with women is better than else.

    Welcome to to the Bonobo Masturbation Society, though, Pussy Killer. We give you a Participation Award, you fucking stud.

    What else you got?

    Rollo’s RedPill brand is unique. You should check it out. It might be a tool in your tool box one day.

    After you get done bragging about how much you got in life.

    What’s your Castle like? How’s it’s foundation look like. What are you going to be doing in 10, 15, 20 years.

    Us old guys are watching you.

  17. In that last comment, forgot to post this at the 29:25 mark.Rollo’s answer to Pussy guys question.

    https://youtu.be/8-jOW9IH2Sk?t=1767

    I don’t think Rollo explains it well, though so don’t take it as something that you accept as real.

    RSD stuff is consumable if you take it for what it is. It is not Red Pill. It has a lot of potential harm in a Blue Pill way for men that are not Alpha masculine. Some of us prefer real, as opposed to a bill of goods. We’ve lived an Anti-fragile inter-sexual masculine life and realize some foibles one might encounter. So the big beef is mostly buyer beware. You can’t manufacture some shit.

    If the original questioner Pussy guy is alpha masculine and slying it forever for a lifetime and never getting zeroed out, or fucking up with relationship game with women, then he is asking a question, that is begging the question, under the guise of a logical fallacy. Using the premise to support itself.

    If he is so self confident and is slaying it, he doesn’t need to ask the question. Or doesn’t need to be right now, right here.

    Take your Adderall, study and relax. If you don’t like it here? Leave.

  18. I do not believe that anyone but oneself can determine what the focus of one´s life should be. That is a deep philosophical question which no pickup company, blog or online movement can answer. The beauty of life is that everyone is free to find their own meaning. Personally, I don´t care what any ideology tells me a man ´should be´. I live for myself and my own internal satisfaction, so I am unconcerned if my life meets some standard someone else invented.

    That being said, there are plenty of useful ideas on this blog. I have never seen relationships as a goal in and of themselves; they are more like something you will need to have as you go about achieving your goal – similar to wearing clothes or living in a house. I was always clear to the women in my life that my true passion was achieving my goals for myself, and that I would allow the women to come along with me for the ride, provided that they helped me achieve my goal and didn´t slow me down.

    But what if I decided that getting pussy was my ultimate goal? Why not? Who is to say what truly matters in life? Meditate in a cave, start a revolution, make tons of money, be the toughest motherfucker who can beat anyone up on the streets, compose a beautiful song. Or spend your time doing PCP and looking at the stars. I´ve tried them all on one day or another, and I´m sure I´ll keep finding new meaning as I age. I don´t claim to have a castle or be ultra successful. I do have a lot of experience with women, simply because I´ve always had a high sex drive and needed constant new pussy to not go insane – but that was not due to some ideology, simply my biology.

    I´m still trying to substantiate the criticism of RSD here – so what you are saying is that RSD doesn´t spend enough time teaching men about other meaningful things to do with their lives, other than getting women? To me that criticism makes sense if RSD is seen as a general philosophy of life, instead of just a pickup company. But if it´s just a pickup company, then of course they spend all their time teaching men to pick up women. That´s their job. Your personal trainer at the gym spends all his time teaching you how to build muscle. Maybe the problem is that people are looking to RSD to give them some deeper meaning, and forming some kind of movement around it, when in reality it is just a company which teaches a specific skill (picking up women) to a specific end (having your sexual/social needs met).

  19. “As a result, the Blue Pill mind automatically defaults to self-blame and looks to find ways to negotiate some kind of new work-program that will ‘fix’ the ‘broken’ relationship he somehow caused. Blue Pill conditioned men are still men, and as such they default to the deductive reasoning that we’re largely predisposed to.”
    https://soundcloud.com/rugby118/chief-and-cortana-halo-1-to-halo-4
    Cortana was the girlfriend who left.
    https://www.windowscentral.com/history-cortana-microsofts-digital-assistant
    Color BLue

  20. @PussyKilla

    “I´m curious why you categorize RSD as being blue pill”

    He said they were “purple pill” guys that PLAYED into mens BLUE PILL idealism.

    For example the very first words on the get me girlfriend page
    “STOP GETTING DISRESPECTED, GET A MODEL GIRLFRIEND,
    AND MAKE HER STAY WITH YOU FOREVER!”

    The “MAKE HER STAY WITH YOU FOREVER” (and ever and ever and never be apart) part is the epitome of the blue pill mindset, and is what gets guys.

    Does that answer your question ?

    There also other stuff if you read down the page words like “perfect” and “Long distance relationship” are also red flags.

  21. I think the criticism that RSD is pumping people up with tons of empty marketing hype is actually a much more substantial criticism. A lot of their content is just ra-ra marketing BS. You have to sift through that stuff to absorb the useful stuff that they contribute. They put out valuable content about the game, but unfortunately I think that they believe it is necessary to surround that content with a bunch of CLICK HERE TO BECOME THE GOD OF YOUR DREAMS shit to make people notice it. A lot of it does fall into the unrealistic promise category, but the general idea that you can greatly improve your skills with women through hard work is a legit idea. No online product or ´secret trick´ can do it for you, but online info can help somewhat – this blog is also a good example of info that can be useful when dealing with women.

    I still don´t see why wanting to get a girlfriend is itself beta/blue pill. It´s defintely true that no online product can guarantee you get a girlfriend. But how is wanting a girlfriend itself blue pill? If you want to work on other areas of your life, and have some great Red Pill Masculine Achievement like writing a great novel or starting a business, then having a girlfriend is a great way to ensure your needs are met while doing it.

    So what would Rollo say guys should do instead of having a girlfriend? Doesn´t he have a wife? Isn´t that almost the same thing?

  22. Your comment speaks for itself. He linked to his “purple pill” which answers your question.

    Of course, seeing how you keep parroting the phrase, “mutually beneficial relationship” I’d suspect you are guilty of this as well, just as I was when I was newly unplugged. The hardest part of unplugging is accepting that being in a relationship is never “mutually* beneficial. That is blue pill thinking my friend.

    Best case scenario: You will benefit only slightly, while she benefits a lot. That’s if you are truly red pilled and know what you’re getting yourself into.

    The only reason you should ever be in a LTR is if a woman shows you through her actions you are her best optimized ideal she can attain. Meaning she has stepped into your frame and is willing to play by your rules. I’d even add you should be prepared to begin a family with her soon afterward. Her instincts will begin injecting doubt shortly after becoming exclusive, but children will help assuage that. They are a huge distraction.

    Also, keep in mind, she always has the capacity to go feral and turn on you should she sense or find a better prospect.

    I myself took the bet and started a family with my best plate. It’s constant work, but I manage to keep my game tight enough to keep her in check as a dutiful housewife. However, I would say it’s a far cry from being mutual. More like a sacrifice.

    Hope this helps.

  23. More Axes, I agree that a lot of that marketing copy is silly BS. RSD seems to use the same generic internet marketing formula for every email they send out. It´s pretty annoying. I skip past all that stuff and try to home in on the actual content between the marketing slime.

  24. Well we can keep careening from Apex fallacy to Nadir fallacy.

    Pussy Killa.

    You seem fine.

    You really want to come in here at a seven year old blog, with a legacy. And Shit Test?

    Rollo’s Red Pill brand has a legacy. It has a knowledge base. You want to come and offhand question it? maybe you should understand your question.

    Red pill is questioning your beliefs and experiences. It is a LIminal Space with Liminal Space tactics. Questioning your former self and not having a plastic bubble protecting your ego investments. It’s a fucking learning space. Without denial, anger, bargaining or depression.

    Acceptance of how hypergamy operates, not how it should be.

    You sound fine for yourself.

    But you might want to keep an open mind regarding PUA. There is absolutely nothing wrong with PUA. Nothing wrong with taking Bruce Lee info from RSD. Take the good as it helps you. PUA informs Red Pill. Red Pill is understanding.

    If you are solid disregard RSD criticism here. Legitamitely.

    The issue becomes Children Playing with Dynamite, which is part of the RSD trap:

    https://therationalmale.com/2011/09/22/dream-girls-and-children-with-dynamite/

  25. You’re good, pussy killer. No harm, no foul up intil a woman fouls up your life.

    Keep in mind, you are not here to misunderstand what is going on here. You are here to understand Red Pill awareness. Which is a large tool box for intersexual performance. PUA has similar tools. They tend to be limited.

    You don’t want to flame out at some point.

    One of my posts got erased by me.

    But the gist was: imagine if you direct your life and she complies. There is nothing wrong with that. The opposite is Blue Pill.

  26. Fuck Alinsky

    ALINSKY: … if there is an afterlife, and I have anything to say about it, I will unreservedly choose to go to hell.

    PLAYBOY: Why?

    ALINSKY: Hell would be heaven for me. All my life I’ve been with the have-nots. Over here, if you’re a have-not, you’re short of dough. If you’re a have-not in hell, you’re short of virtue. Once I get into hell, I’ll start organizing the have-nots over there.

    PLAYBOY: Why them?

    ALINSKY: They’re my kind of people.

    Don’t be a Dick.

  27. So far I have lost all the friends I’ve tried to unplug.

    They’ve been in sexless / nominal rationed sex marriages.

    Often very successful traditionally masculine longstanding friends that I got on with well, went skiing and sailing with on boys weekends over years and years.

    I gave them the Rational Male and they stop returning my calls.

    I suppose they’re just too far gone or haven’t been forced to confront it yet.

  28. Actually thinking about it I’ve known more than one proper hard bastard that was totally blue pill.

    They could kick the shit out of all the men in the pub at once but show them a woman and they’re a total ‘yes dear” pussy.

  29. “So far I have lost all the friends I’ve tried to unplug.

    So stop trying. Not everyone can desire to fight in fight club.

    “They’ve been in sexless / nominal rationed sex marriages.

    They are in Deida Stage II

    50/50 ism. Buffers and self-limitations.

    http://www.masculinity-movies.com/articles/the-three-stages-of-david-deida

    DD 2: The working girl and the sensitive flow boy
    The cultural emergence of this stage started in paralell with feminism and the gender equality movement. In the 2nd stage, people seek to become more integrated human beings. The emergence of DD2 has lead to women embracing masculine values and opportunities, becoming tougher amd more independent, and men have embraced feminine flow and emotions, becoming more open and relating. Where people acting out of a first stage moment seek approval through their possessions and appearance, people in a second stage moment want to be appreciated for what they can do. Value is primarily determined by internal properties of the self.

    The 2nd stage is very concerned that things should be done the right and proper way, and considers it important not to rock the boat too much. We gladly accept people’s boundaries, even when they wish we didn’t, and try not to escalate conflict. In intimate relationships, the tension of polarity often disappears and is replaced by a withholding of depth, often felt as repulsive by both partners. In societies, second stage is expressed as an aversion to conflict and an almost suffocating political correctness. You’re not allowed to judge or rank people, and everybody agrees to disagree.

    The second stage individual is generally stuck in a perpetual self-improvement cycle that seems to lead nowhere, as the development often goes away from our true nature as opposed to towards. Happiness always looms on the horizon, but never quite arrives.

    They are dullards. They, by default are unhappy and unlucky.

    “How can you have the pudding if you don’t eat the meat?”

    You are a smart man PalmaSailor. They are children.

    “Often very successful traditionally masculine longstanding friends that I got on with well, went skiing and sailing with on boys weekends over years and years.”

    So they became Betatized and turned into pussies because they don’t know there’s a manosphere and Red Pill Awareness. Sue Them. Post haste.

    “I suppose they’re just too far gone or haven’t been forced to confront it yet.”

    It’s a dirty business and most can’t make it through Triage.

    You are trying too hard sir.

    Did you ever hear of the Pareto Principle?

    Your reference experiences are telling you something.

    Bottoms up buddy.

    Save your own ass and parent your kid well.

  30. In a masculine tribe?

    Fuck not ranking or judging.

    It s part of the territory.

    Don’t not rank or judge your bottoms up buddies.

    But be prepared for a lot of fucking washouts.

  31. @SJF

    I’m going through a hard patch on the kid front at the moment.

    He should by now be taking the journey to see me on his own but his mother is disabling him so he’s refusing to do it alone. This is bullshit.

    I’ve told him to man up as I’m not doing the running anymore and he needs to make some effort and get his arse on the train. Temporary brick wall on this right now.

    He’s not had much adversity in his life so a bit won’t do him any harm.

  32. So there are two schools of thought on how I’m handling this and they’re directly conflicting

    One set of friends broadly think I’m an asshole and I should appease and do ANYTHING necessary just to see him – any scrap I can get – this group have lost access to their children or their children are 30 year old man children that still wet the bed

    The other set – one in particular said draw a hard boundary, or you’ll turn into your sons bitch, he’ll lose all respect any you’ll lose him. – this set have access to their children and often the children have moved in with the dad even though the court awarded them to the mother. One guy went through it with all 3 of his children. He had to be the man, draw the boundary and one by one all his kids came to him.

    I think this is what needs to be done

  33. People resist the Red Pill mindset because they correctly see that it is not compatible with human reproduction. It might work for frogs, who lay thousands of eggs and abandon them to their fate, but when you plant buns in oven, you perforce become deeply invested in the owner of that oven.

    Civilization worked by making women property and apportioning them out the bravest and most productive men in exchange for battles won and taxes paid. In Christendom, women were always free to refuse marriage, but their other option was to be locked in a convent until menopause, so most “chose” to marry from a shortlist of men pre-screened by their fathers, and stay married.

    Now civilization “works” by importing millions of low-IQ third-worlders and printing money to pay for their welfare benefits. Half of white children have daddies in prison, because the men who DGAF about laws or women are the men who breed, despite their lack of “free time”.

  34. @Dave

    Lobsters are the most red pill fuckers you can get.

    They fight it out for territory and the winner has the females present themselves to him for mating. The rest don’t reproduce.

    They’ve been around for 300 million years and so far that strategy is working for them as a species.

    The Red Pill is just understanding that it works that way for humans too.

    Civilisation is a veneer, an illusion. Real mating habits continue despite of this and Red Pill is a recognition of that.

  35. @PussyKilla – welcome to TRM. We need more men coming from your perspective especially since YaReally and Scray left. You’re wrong about Blax (or his background rather) but you’ll learn that over time if you keep hanging out here.

    I agree mostly with your points about RSD and I’m still not clear what Rollo finds objectionable about them and I’ve been here since the earliest comments about RSD. As for as I’m concerned the new self help pathway they are on to increase their market size and diversify from PUA is BS but the core PUA teachings – especially the videos till about 2015ish (even current ones from Jeffy and Todd who has now left) are solid. I have some more subtle issues with them that I posted some weeks ago on the PUA thread but those are more nuanced- I will link to it when I’m not on my phone.

    @j – I think you misunderstand Blax. He really does not think about PUA stuff consciously at all. It’s internalised at such a deep level he’s not even conscious of it. It’s as if someone tried to tell you in excruciating detail and made a video on YouTube about “how to walk”. You’d just be like “that’s so try hard- why are you over thinking it – it’s just walking – put one foot in front of another and just do it!” But walking is a actually a complex skill that takes babies a full year of effort to learn. That is pretty much Blax with PUA – no wonder one hour of Todd on opening comes across tedious and pointless to him. It’s like an hour of video on the precise angle you need to lift your foot off the ground to take a step forward.

  36. In my view, much of what RSD and other PUA coaches teach is a set of behaviours, hacks and tricks for a man to become more appealing to women during the female carousel stage and to notch up as many lays as they can.

    In many ways, PUA is a small subset of the Red Pill and quite often the gateway to Red Pill and MGTOW.

  37. There’s an RSD chat group here in Liverpool UK.
    I joined it and was thoroughly entertained by how they put pussy on a pedestal.
    Lots of blue pill mindsets on there just with a few PUA “tools” in their pussy worshipping armoury.
    A few of them got laid but never seemed to be able to keep a girl around.

    It truly was “children with dynamite “ dream girl scenario played out and they had no idea what the problem was so off to watch the next RSD video.

  38. Got into a chat with one RSD guy who was talking about the benefits of “getting in state” or “getting amped” before going out so he could approach FFS.

    I told him to “ just be a MAN they’re only fucking girls! “. Apparently that doesn’t work according to RSD mythology.

    Well no shit if you’re a pussy worshipping beta clown it won’t ! But I said be a MAN didn’t I?

    Being a man is Too Hard apparently.

  39. Reading that exchange reminds me of my own Blue pill beta days.

    There are a few times since then I’ve relapsed but then learned and recovered.

    Keeping grounded is important. The neediness and need for validation that comes with trying to save a sinking relationship is like a drug.

    But I’ve managed to overcome it with sometimes hilarious results.

    A plate I was banging suddenly wanted more. I just ignored her. So she sent an ultimatum text that we wouldn’t see or fuck each other until I made up my mind about her.

    I never replied. She sent mental and sent a beta needy text which I also ignored. Then she flamed out and I think blocked and deleted me.

    Felt good. My blue pill beta safe would have been worried. I found it funny.

  40. Anytime you criticize PUA or RSD, J will predictably attack the commenter.

    J is a one trick pony and only comments on game or defending RSD or PUA.

  41. @Rollo: a very compassionate break down of this guy’s breakdown. Perhaps he’ll read it and, more importantly, digest it.

    Ghosting is the best course of action; not everyone can build their own Matrix.

  42. A lot of it does fall into the unrealistic promise category, but the general idea that you can greatly improve your skills with women through hard work is a legit idea

    Legit, but you don’t make bucketloads of cash telling people that they can get what they want via hard work. So RSD markets quick fixes. I’m not saying that all their content is a quick fix–just some of the marketing I see.

    The “keep your girlfriend” mantra is Blue Pill because it reinforces men’s low self-esteem. This tells men that they have to “keep” a girlfriend. This is because so many suckers, er, RSD customers get pumped and dumped. The customers are looking for a gf, and are able to get laid with a desirable girl, but eventually she tires of their pedestalization and pandering and dump them.

    A Red Pill approach would emphasize a man’s masculine identity necessarily leading to a man gaining self-respect and self-confidence leading to women chasing those men.

    There is an element of relationship work suitable for alphas–alphas have to manage the relationships in their groups, and that includes managing their relationships with any girlfriends they have. So, through a Blue Pill lens, that would be called “keeping” their gfs.

  43. I told him to “ just be a MAN they’re only fucking girls! “

    Another version of my maxim, “Pussy is just pussy.”

    Being a man is Too Hard apparently.

    Brainwashed. These guys have a lot of emotional, ego investment in pedestalization of women and devaluation of men from cultural/educational brainwashing, which they apply to themselves. The brainwashing program is reinforced for years and years and years. It takes a huge effort to even see the brainwashing program (more like a whole lotta pain will maybe open a man’s eyes!), much less to combat it and remove it.

    Unless you have removed that program yourself, you won’t understand its power and ability to confuse a man and blind him.

  44. Once again, there is no magic or tricks to having sex with women. They are the opposite sex. Why do you think they are here in the first place? What is the reason?😁

    Sure, a guy can ” learn ” to imitate real make behaviors, but at some point it has to be expanded, defined and internalized. Full stop. Straddling the fence because ” pussy ” is the wrong path to take.. Get your mind right lest you wind up like the dude in Rollo’s essay.

    As far as our goes, I admit that it serves a purpose for a small segment of males, but a lot of what’s taught out there is fostering blue pill mindsets.

    If a man is newly able to start banging women where before he could not, it’s an opportunity to learn about women beyond sticking your sick in them. Otherwise it’s like the many people I know who’ve driven cars for decades and have no clue at all how they work, not even in a rudimentary level. Wasted opportunity.

    So even the accomplished pua will find himself assed out when he tries to enter any form of relationship with a woman, because he believes he can ” game ” his way through it. He will learn the hard way that his level of Game is lacking long term.

    While banging chicks, lots of players profess that they don’t need to know how chicks think and feel beyond getting their panties off. This is the height of self delusion, but guys can’t see clearly with pussy juice in their eyes and in their brains. It’s a form of mental illness.

    Game them apart and break them down so you can understand. Maybe you’ll get into something longer term, maybe you won’t, but stop wasting the perfect opportunity out of fear and extraordinary laziness.

    Time will always reveal. Watch the out guru over time as he ” slips ” into some kind of relationship and is promptly dismantled by it. I’ll resist pointing out any examples…😂

    It’s not all that hard to understand women unless you’ve bought into too much blue. The good news is that this can be remedied.

    If your not lazy or afraid 😨

  45. I think you misunderstand Blax. He really does not think about PUA stuff consciously at all. It’s internalised at such a deep level he’s not even conscious of it.

    Blax would do well to use the velvet glove rather than the hammer to get his point across. Draw the newbie into a discussion that leads him into questioning his beliefs rather than unload a ton of bricks onto his head.

  46. Hey !

    I came here because my brother gave me the link to RM, after a divorce with two daughters. I read all the stuff for almost 2 Years and really enjoy the comments. In this time, I try to man up. It is not easy. I am 44, raised by a single Mom and employed in the public Sector, so not much Alpha Mojo.

    I spare you the unplugging process. However, after the first shock I tried out some new behaviour a watched closely. Never bevor in my I live watched how ideas and theorems “functioned“ so exact in reality. I worked out more, watched my posture and started with martial arts. I try to improve my game, but I am only able to get 95 % of my Dates via Internet.

    I spin Plates, but it is hard, because mostly the persistent are HB 5-6 which are sometimes nice to fuck, but nothing for public. If they are going up to 7-8, it is only short time affairs. I get kicked or they want to get more serious and I kick them.

    Last year I have found for me a 10. With all the fucking warning signs, she is a full out Cluster B slut … but I love this women. I read about BDP, Cluster B, Co-dependency and sociopaths. I tried all kind of game tactics, but im not a natural alpha and somebody wrote here „ You cannot game crazy“. I know she should be the lowest of my plates, but in the honeymoon phase, it was deepest experience I ever had with a woman. When she flakes and comes back as rebound the sex and the talks are the best. When we are in Public every human being is positive affected from her charisma, my children … and even my cold-hearted bitch of an ex.

    Everything looks pale in comparison. In between I had STR and ONS and now I have some kind of LTR with an 8 years younger HB 8.5. However, it is all fucking boring. Nothing reaches my Heart and when there is only a glimpse of hope to hook up with my old onietis Cluster B I would throw all my plates away in a msec.

    I like woman. After some field experience. I can interpret SOA and escalate mostly on first Date a kiss, touching and with no Anti Slut defence a bang. Its hurts me, but it does not matter if the woman has a PhD. or is a low class single mom. They are all the same, when they want to fuck. No „good“ girls or quality women out there. Now I reached the point, when I really fed up. I cannot forget my cluster B onietis and lost utterly all respect for Women, because when you mention some stuff they always say „ No, every Women is different I would never do this or that. “ In addition, I know, with the right alpha they would do everything.

    Therefore, what is the point anymore? The true beauties and hotties are only passing by. Your game skill will grant a few more or less bangs and bye. With the other stuff is no connection. It is as if I am an „alpha widower“, every plate makes me less bondable and burns my illusions…I became slowly what I despise, slutty.

    Sure I can build my mental point like improve, dress well, learn new skills, be successful in the job etc. but it feels hollow without am deep connection with a woman I want and who will set my heart on fire. All I women I see are sluts or are boring as hell. Falling in love with a woman is it really a blue pill Illusion or is it hardwired?

    I am tired and missing the fucking one women… and RP gives no hope or better perspective. Therefore, fucking around when the T-level is high and follow your own dreams. What a lonely shit. Is there no between or another perspective.

    Sorry for spelling, I am no native Speaker.

  47. Disgruntled

    Lol, you may be right, but I’m old and not all that good at the whole internet thing ( don’t tell my bosses ) so I ” talk ” to these young cats the same way I talk to young cats standing in front of me. If they can take something away from what I tell them, it’s all good. If they can’t or refuse, it’s equally as good. Some have to learn the hard way. I too was like that at one point.

    How newbs fire me out just a little but because they have been semi brainwashed. They were unable to do a thing, then they learned to successfully do that thing, so in their minds they’ve conquered all aspects of the thing or deem other aspects as superfluous and unnecessary.

    ….but you still hear the faint ” gf ” mentions in the background. You still hear ” keeping them around ” quietly mentioned. Searching for the next trick or abbreviated group of words to unlock that passage.

    Danger danger.

    So yeah, I’ll hammer from time to time, especially when challenged about ” not banging 9’s ” or some stupid blue pilled pedestalizing shit like that. As yareally used to say, lurkers are always reading along, so maybe some of them will just get it.

  48. Watch the out guru over time as he ” slips ” into some kind of relationship and is promptly dismantled by it.

    https://julienhimself.com/about/

    In 2015, Julien Blanc started his own company: JulienHimself and has shifted his teachings toward personal development and life-enrichment.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BldYLQiAXm2/?hl=en&taken-by=julienhimself

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BlaqBDJgYtM/?hl=en&taken-by=julienhimself

    https://www.instagram.com/p/Bj-KpGKA297/?hl=en&taken-by=julienhimself

    Well Julien is certainly slipping into “some kind” of relationship. Be careful of tagging along.

  49. @Walawala

    Things are going great with me in LTR. It’s healthy with me and my wife and I cultivate tribal guy friends. But I’m introverted by choice and only need a few guy friends at a time. The ones I have now I would pick over and over in a zombie apocalypse game.

    I have a good buddy that is red pill and single and not into relationships. He has Game skills. We were out the other night at the cigar lounge with another acquaintance that is a self assured/attractive guy. Bot the other guys were 61 y.o.

    There is a dearth of girls to pick from. I was trying to think of ways that would be best to cultivate a crowd to choose from. Kind of like the problem Silver Fox is having: lack of choices of choice girls.

    The one guy not my friend was running into a scenario where he liked a woman, but she didn’t trust him. Kinda in a scenario where: “Nothing is more threatening yet simultaneously attractive to a woman than a man who is aware of his own value to women.” He wanted to enter a relationship, she wanted to fuck him (and I presume did recently, call him up for booty call style) but didn’t trust him after a lot of on and offs between other relationships of his and hers.

    So he’s on the prowl by is currently a little slacking off, neglecting to work out/lift weights as normal, and neglecting playing guitar and practicing. He figures he should go to karaoke bars more.

    Do you have a model for poaching or cultivating girl choices for this demographic of men. Meetups, bars, D.J.ing?

    I had a model for getting guy friends going back 10 years ago. It doesn’t translate to getting girl choices for these guys.

    That’s not really a focused comment/question, but you get the gist. Just wanted to draw you out. If you were looking for plates to spin today, how would you go about it? I hear its tough out there.
    Tactics? Social circle? Lone wolf? In not a target rich environment?

    (lol both guys are wealthy and not zeroed out after three marriages each. They were patting themselves on the back for that.)

  50. Palma

    I’ve told him to man up as I’m not doing the running anymore and he needs to make some effort and get his arse on the train.

    You might challenge him and reinforce that challenge with a story from your youth, some adventure you had and leave off with an endearing “I thought you were made of the same stuff”. It needs to be endearing otherwise it’s too easy to overwhelm him [My dad is an asshole]. At the same time have some good stuff going on that he is going to miss if he doesn’t come. Carrots AND sticks, levers AND pulleys.

  51. The only reason you should ever be in a LTR is if a woman shows you through her actions you are her best optimized ideal she can attain. Meaning she has stepped into your frame and is willing to play by your rules.

    Have Hand and never lose it.

  52. SJF

    He wanted to enter a relationship, she wanted to fuck him (and I presume did recently, call him up for booty call style) but didn’t trust him after a lot of on and offs between other relationships of his and hers.

    Your friend’s problem here is she is playing her rolodex for exclusivity as he’s shown his hand he is ripe for it.

  53. With regard to RSD, or game coaches, are they always bad? While I suppose it’s possible to go from blue pill beta to red pill thundercock in 24 hours, it’s very rare. Usually, unplugging is a process. I don’t know about the rest of you, but here was my process:
    1. Strip away my mistaken beliefs about how women are.
    2. Read a bunch of stuff about what women are actually like and what they want.
    3. Try to become a guy that women want.
    4. Realize that, holy crap, this stuff works.
    5. Come to the realization that a goal of becoming a guy that’s attractive to vapid shallow creatures is not really a fulfilling life goal.
    6. Trying to become the guy I really want to be.

    It seems to me that RSD/game books help a guy get up to stage 4, which is pretty damn far along the unplugging process. This is especially true because the real “hump” to get over is merely getting to stage 1.

  54. @SJF If you were looking for plates to spin today, how would you go about it? I hear its tough out there. Tactics? Social circle? Lone wolf? In not a target rich environment?

    I live in a city with tons of women. I meet women or have met women: at latin dance nights, on public transportation, online, at events.

    Where I meet them is less important the game I run on them. This is not something you can “teach” a guy, he truly has to want to do this on his own.

    I have younger friends who only bang MILFs—because it’s fishing with dynamite for them. But could they pull the 20 year olds I’m banging? They claim the don’t want to.

    It’s how you carry yourself. I tried a little experiment.

    I coached a girl in my Latin Dance Class on improving. She was ok looking, but a bit dumpy…not worth the drama of a social-circle bang.

    So I just coached her without gaming her—and she had no additional interest in me beyond practicing. She started chasing after some provider type.

    So yes, you have to show sexual intent from the start or you end up with nothing. And when I don’t run game….nothing happens.

    There are no accidents. I make it happen or I don’t. If I get blown out it’s better than not doing anything IF… I truly want to bang the girl. If I’m just ok with practicing my moves—nothing happens.

  55. Tyler

    SO PUMPED to release this. Julien and I recorded it in 2015 – Julien was just coming off of #juliengate and I was just coming off of a horrible break up. We were both a mess at the time lol. Amazing to see how far we’ve been able to move forward. This is one of my fav vids we’ve done of all time. Hope you enjoy it! TONS more to come. This is just the beginning of a huge backlog of content I put my heart and soul into. Have fun! -Tyler

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPz4iJLGt5c&lc=UgzPkKAE_U_pguVxt7R4AaABAg

    Note the clip is from 2015… RSD jumped the shark on pick up.

    [PS and yes the infield is a good game clip, which follows core MM principles… lol]

  56. Curaitis

    “Therefore, what is the point anymore? The true beauties and hotties are only passing by. Your game skill will grant a few more or less bangs and bye. With the other stuff is no connection. It is as if I am an „alpha widower“, every plate makes me less bondable and burns my illusions…I became slowly what I despise, slutty.

    Sure I can build my mental point like improve, dress well, learn new skills, be successful in the job etc. but it feels hollow without am deep connection with a woman I want and who will set my heart on fire. All I women I see are sluts or are boring as hell. Falling in love with a woman is it really a blue pill Illusion or is it hardwired?”

    You can’t achieve Blue Pill results with Red Pill Awareness. So don’t try.

    You have these observations. Trust your gut. Think about how things are, rather than how they ought to be. And then go out and control your reality.

    The Gloss is Off. (sorry for the second language, I just made that up on the fly)

    You can control your mindset and your attitude and how you approach life. If you are having problems with that, get a mentor. And learn more and more about Red Pill here.

    And for gods sake don’t despise yourself. That’s the greatest trick the devil of the Feminine Imperative ever devised. You can be you. And be healthy at doing what your heart wants to do. Stop listening to those birdies on your shoulder (Umm, sorry, again, for the idiom.) They are wrong.

  57. So what you are saying Walawala is that a target rich environment, desire and mastery are key ingredients. Both these guys are skilled, but engaged in life, work and hobbies. Their energy investment needs to be more efficient. My bias is that investing in red pill guy friends can only benefit also (if they can be found).

  58. @SJF

    Thanks for your reply. By the way “The gloss is off.” is also a german proverb. Mostly used when women get 30. 😉

    Yeah, it was a cozy in Blue Pill Matrix. It is sometimes no easy to do the things my guts says and what somekind implanted Morale / Feminine Imperative utters.

    Two years of unplugging and still so much to learn about Frame and Game.

  59. @Curaitis

    I tried the German language once for several years. I’m one of the best students I know and it was too difficult for me. Mainly because I grew up all left brained.

    I visited Germany for a month in 1977. It changed my life. It made me realize that if life in America was a Game. I was going to play it damned well.

    And I did.

    Like Walter White in Breaking Bad. I think: “I Won…..”

    And the Red Pill has put The Gloss on That.

    Two years is just a start. Give it two more. Desire it and master it. It works like a charm when properly applied.

  60. @Sentient

    Thanks

    I’m working on all that. It’s a bit push / pull. He’s not worried about the journey but his mother has put a bullet in it / possibly has outright forbidden it and thats the problem. She’s petrified that if (when) he gets wings he’ll clear off completely. But theres no talking to her; she’ll lose her shit and I’ll be painted as the bad guy.

    He needs to get to the point where he wants to see me so badly that he does it regardless – which may be some time.

  61. When I was blue pill, I thought all the “pickup” and “game” stuff I “glanced” at was just asshole tactics. Not until I read Heartiste’s “Relationship Game Week Dave From Hawaii” post did it click. It showed real-life simple examples of how dudes in relationships F it up. That was the post that did it for me, so Google it then send it to the dudes you want to unplug. May help them too. I then found TRM and was sold on Red Pill for life.

  62. Palma

    Well he needs to know it’s OK to stand up to mom now and then. Mom’s are always going to try and keep boys from danger. I’ve had to coach my son to stand up to his mom on a few things, basically told him I had his back but he needed to push back. Valuable skill and opens their eyes to the nature of women.

  63. @SJF Investing time with Red Pill friends is time well-spent. But in my experience my two Red Pill friends are always so busy slaying pussy and doing their own thing they’re not so available.

    Basically, I’ve learned most guys don’t want to adopt the Red Pill, they feel guilty for even indulging in these ideas and beliefs that society around them has drilled into their heads is evil, hateful, mysoginistic and will land them in jail if they make a move on a woman.

  64. RSD just posted a video on YouTube “Witness incredible traumas WOMEN have caused: How to spot toxic personalities (BPD and Sociopath)”. It is 88 minutes long.

    They can’t take the heat when Rollo calls them out as “Purple Pill Hacks”. I have not watched it, but I bet they have taken the talking points from Red Man Group episode on Dangerous Personalities …. but tempered down with blue pilled ideas.

  65. “She’s petrified that if (when) he gets wings he’ll clear off completely.”

    That day will come. When it does he will be in a Liminal Space

    When it does he needs to investigate what he was taught wrong and not have a safety protective bubble around him.

    You’ve done that with your life Palmasailor. You have reference experiences of that. Investigating your past beliefs and reference experiences and not having a safety bubble around you and then penetrating the world.

    Read Dave Gray’s book Liminal Thinking. It is short, simple and sweet. It gives process to liminal thinking. You can actually save time and just look at his six principles and nine processes by Google searching for that.

    The nine practices of liminal thinking can be summarized as three simple precepts:

    1. Get in touch with your ignorance.
    2. Seek understanding.
    3. Do something different.

    Sentient mentioned using a story. That is practice #8 in liminal thinking:

    “8. Make sense with stories. If you give people facts without a story, they will explain it within their existing belief system. The best way to promote a new or different belief is not with facts, but with a story.”

    That’s why Field Reports are so illustrative. My red pill buddies and I, in real life, constantly tell stories, field reports. Acta, NonVerba is a visual story. Like watching a play.

  66. @Blaximus, yep, especially the KFC example that I’ll post here:

    ““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““

    I changed our relationship dynamic after learning about game.I stopped always asking her what she wants and started being decisive while playing up the mysterious angle.

    Here was a typical scenario back then:

    HER: “I’m hungry.”

    ME: “What do you want to eat?”

    HER: “I don’t know…”

    ME: “How about McDonalds?”

    HER: “I dunno.”

    ME: “How about Taco bell?”

    HER: {shrugs}

    ME: “KFC? I know you really like the original recipe chicken dinner…”

    HER: “well yeah…”

    ME: “OK, great, let’s go!”

    Drives to the KFC drive-thru.

    ME: I’ll have the Zesty Crispy Chicken Wrap…what do you want, honey?”

    HER: “I don’t want to eat here.”

    ME: “What? I thought you said…”

    HER: “I never said I wanted KFC.”

    ME: “But…what do you want then? Whatever you want, just let me know, and we’ll go there!”

    HER: “It’s too late, you’ve already ordered here.”

    ME: “Fine then. So what do you want?”

    HER: “Nothing, just take me home. I’ll figure out what I’m going to eat later. {Said in a grouchy tone}.

    ME: “Why do you have to be like that?

    HER: “Be like what? I never said I wanted KFC!”

    ME: “Well what do you want then?”

    HER: “Don’t worry about me already! Just get YOUR food and take me home!”

    ME: “I’ve asked you how many times to tell me what you want and I’ll take you there! Why do you always have to act like this?”

    HER: “Act like what? Nevermind already! It’s obvious you don’t really care about what I want…it’s only about what you want! I didn’t want KFC and yet you’re trying to make like it’s all my fault just because I don’t want to eat here! I never wanted to eat here in the first place!!!!”

    ME: “$*%^(YT@#($)(#&!!!!!”

    Same scenario, now:

    HER: “I’m hungry”

    ME: “So am I. Let’s go.”

    HER: “Go where?”

    ME: “You’ll see.”

    HER: “C’mon, tell me…”

    ME {Rolling my eyes and turning away from her, getting ready to head out with or without her.}: “Are you gonna sit here and play twenty questions like a spoiled little princess or are you gonna come along and eat with me?”

    HER {Now she starts getting ready to go.}: “C’mon…why don’t you tell me…”

    At that point, I could take her to a fine-dining restaurant or McDonalds, it doesn’t matter.

    What mattered was that I passed her shit test and played the role of the ‘provider.’

    I stopped treating my wife like I was an enslaved sycophant willing to do whatever the goddess desired and started treating her like the kid sister with the backhanded compliments, light-hearted teasing, and over-the-top sarcasm to deal with her shit-tests…all within the “frame” of subconsciously reinforcing the notion that I’m attractive to other women.

    For another example, I remember one instance where we went to a dinner party, and there was a, beautiful, blond girl that was a friend of a mutual friend, and it was the first time we met her. Her and I hit it off immediately on a conversational level.

    After the dinner, on the ride home she started in…

    “So tell me, is _______ better looking than me?”

    Now the reality is that why yes, she was…and we both knew it. (Turns out, she was a former swimsuit model…)

    I was scared to death to admit this to her. I immediately and reflexively lied to her. She became infuriated.

    “Why’d you keep talking to her all night long? Where you attracted to her? Don’t lie, I saw you looking at her while you were talking!”

    I uncomfortably whimpered “Well, she was sitting directly across from me all night long…”

    Needless to say, the conversation continued to escalate in that vain, with her continually getting angrier and angrier as she played the role of hostile interrogator, and I, the hapless idiot husband, caught doing something wrong…trying to squirm out of the pending punishment.

    She “dominated” this conversation from the beginning, she set the frame and I unwittingly relinquished my backbone.

    Eventually it turned into a full blown argument as I got angry at her for getting angry, because in reality I had done nothing wrong but have the temerity to have conversation with a beautiful woman at the same dinner table.

    Contrast that with how I handle a similar incidents now, after I had figured out the underlying dynamics behind why we would always get into those types of fights and arguments…

    (generic paraphrasing of a typical situation}

    ME: “Of course she was talking to me! Most beautiful women do! That’s EXACTLY why you married me! What lady can resist these?” (Thrn I would just flex my biceps and like I’m the world’s baddest man…all with a smirk on my face.)

    HER: She rolls her eyes, chuckles and responds, “Yeah right…no woman would want you if you were the last guy on earth.”

    ME: “That’s not what your {name of her best friend} said the other night when she was begging me to kiss her…”

    HER: {giggling} “You’re so silly…”

    In other words, I learned to turn those “shit tests” into playful banter with a subtle frame of reference (treating her like she’s the “younger sister w/ cooties” instead of the goddess who I’d be most fortunate if only she’d let me kiss her feet), rather than address them at face value. In short, learned to “lead the conversation…i.e. “dominate.”

    I used to tell her the typical lies of a cowed and fearful married man that is the ubiquitous caricature of men in today’s feminist warped mass media… “No honey, I ONLY have eyes for you! I promise! I don’t even LOOK at other women!”

    In retrospect, I can’t believe I spent YEARS protesting innocence and begging her to not get upset, and never realized that taking that tact ALWAYS resulted in bad feelings and “relationship problems.”

    At the same time, I reinforce the notion that I’m desirable to other woman (remember – no one wants to go to the club that is empty…everyone wants to get in to the one with the line around the block.)

    And I tell you, I really REALLY felt silly and ridiculous when I first started acting like that whenever the shit tests came up.

    Now, it comes to me like a second reflex.

    “““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““`

    The money line is “no one wants to go to the club that is empty…everyone wants to get in to the one with the line around the block.”

    So, our traumatized Beta that’s the subject of this post, which one is he? Yes, he’s the empty club his girlfriend doesn’t want to go to. Don’t be an empty club.

  67. From the essay:

    “most of them will fight you tooth and nail for trying to convince them they were raised the wrong way.”

    When you carefully observe, this is the most common response from these guys, it’s interesting to see it’s a very natural response as if it’s hindbrain programmed or something. In my IT workplace our my team consists of 9 individuals , 7 guys and 2 women. The 2 girls are Indian and so are 3 of the guys, one of the Indian girls who is at best a married 4 in her thirties has the entire team on lockdown including our boss and the other girl ,the only exception is myself. It’s pretty amazing to watch and frustrating from a red pill lens when I think about it, never seen nothing like it, seen beautiful girls dominate but never to such an extent as this 4, it’s crazy.

    Also of interesting note, the most susceptible to her are the 3 millennial new college guys, they crave her attention at a visceral level. I tried to unplug and drop hints to the most “red pilled” one of the three and he took the information but I think he resented me for it, he desperate wants to get the 4 bedded and is the definition of children with dynamite, but doesn’t understand her game is way above his. Meanwhile in the next section over there is a legit 8 European girl but they won’t go after her for some reason but will go after the 4, crazy.

    The 4 will give me signals here and there but I mostly keep my distance, don’t see anything positive coming from it as I am not attracted. The problem with RSD and this pickup stuff is that it doesn’t protect you from a woman like this 4 whom are very manipulative and might let you get the bang as they are playing a longer game. The only antidote to this type of manipulation is to be your own “mental point of origin” in all areas of life, anything short of that is playing with fire.

    There are no shortcuts.

  68. One observation.

    I would argue that even if youre Red Pill aware, but are not following the RP principles effectivelly, leading, gaming, frame control etc .. and she leaves, its still clearly your fault rather than hers, its not just a blue bill occurance.

    I reckon either way, unless shes a bi polar freakshow, its always the mans fault when a relatonship goes south. A woman only reacts to what her man projects, essentially bein a mirror.

  69. Newly

    One of the hallmarks of dumb fuckery I engaged in when I tried to be more ” feeling ” and ” inclusive ” in my first marriage included the endless ” what would you like to eat hiney? ” shit.

    Traditionally, I would go out to eat or eat at home, and wifey had to just go with it. Occasionally I’d ask something rapid fire like ” I feel like eating at The Stuft Shirt you dfeel like eating at the stuft shirt it sounds good, let’s go… “. When we were out I’d order her food and drinks because eating was just something we had to do that day, but the main course was conversation and vagina tingles.

    Sometimes we can mistakenly see deferment as showing love to a woman. After all we are bigger and stronger, so we tend to mentally and verbally submit thinking she’ll appreciate the gesture – or even recognize it. Nah, it turns her stomach, and idgaf how much they may protest to the opposite.

    We are the ” romantics “, and we’re best served by recognizing this and getting control over those urges. We cannot defer under most circumstances. We can achieve this without miscalibrating ourselves into unbearable asshole territory ( although every so often ” asshole ” may be just what the doctor ordered ).

  70. It’s interesting to see how all encompassing being your own mental point of origin can be. There’s really no mystery after that.

    In this case he’d never be this beholden to her validation nor would he be so confused as to where he should spend his energy.

    I was having a beer with acquaintance last night and he was telling me about this girl, his ONE. She moved away, started fucking some guy who beats her, moved back, got back with my acquaintance and after 2 months cut it off cause she’s still talking to the guy who beat her.

    Two things shocked me. He’d been in this emotional roller coaster for 14 years AND would take her back if he could. His answer didn’t change even when I suggested he not allow her near his house, pension, career etc…

    Some people will need to destroy themselves before they unplugg.

  71. “Today, in our post Sexual Revolution dystopia, the idea that a woman might be personally or socially expected to compromise her Hypergamous stakes in life is met with that reflexive, feral, survival instinct. This is why women bristle at the idea that they might ever need to “settle” on Mr. Good Enough once they reach their sexual market expiration date. It’s like telling their hindbrains that they need to consider spending the rest of their lives invested in children that aren’t as good as they might be had they held out a little longer. Hypergamy bets a woman’s life on a future with a given man, so yes, it’s very muck a survival instinct.”

    And combined with this is the princess syndrome; brainwashing by Walt Disney, religion and our culture for the past few generations that conditions both men and women to think women are realitively morally superior special little cupcakes. Feminism itself is partly founded on the idea that women are more ethical and moral than men, that they have been oppressed by men because they aren’t “equal” to men ie the same as men. An over arching but subtextual foundational ideal of feminism is the idea that women know best and they are now finally “correcting” the “inequality” after tens of thousands of years of “oppressive evil male patriarchy”. The entire delusional paradigm is built upon extremely fucked up distortions of what both men and women really are. But, there sure are a considerable number of people, both male and female, who, on a conscious level, believe the crap. And, many who know better are tolerating it.

  72. … If you were to ask my wife today, she’d tell you I’m an asshole😂 she had to be put in check yesterday and her feelz are bruised. She’ll live and she’s just been reminded that I don’t like repeating myself.😂😂

    I’d get the key phrase that got her was ” your job is to stfu and listen “. Point driven home with index finger firmly pointing against granite counter. The clint Eastwood” talking through gritted teeth ” thing just organically happened.

  73. back to rollo’s excellent post – perfect example of why “open communication” and “baring your soul” in a relationship never work for a man

    it’s a macro shit test – a man communicating his vulnerability to a woman will counter-intuitively engender distrust, distain and disgust in the woman requesting that “communication”

    a man must always refuse to engage in girltalk

    the game never stops, never forget it

  74. “When men ask me, “Rollo, my friend, brother, dad, are heading towards something awful, how do I get them to realize they need to unplug?” I have to say wait for the right time.“

    But these guys, family, and friends are the worst to try to bring to the light. Family has too many other entanglements and if a friend is beta, them you probably are also,beta. Birds of a feather flock together. There is a certain amount and type of respect that a non family member or stranger receives simply by not being associated in those ways. This is why psychological counselors do not treat their own family. Counseling and good advice gets twisted into an opinion war more often than not. This is why Rollo’s blog and others are so good. They provide objectivity. Rollo has no stake in any betas life who comes here. He just has a stake in observing and telling the truth.

  75. Isn’t the first axiom of unplugging “Show don’t tell”?

    What’s the point of going through laborious conversations with someone deep in blue pill idealism?
    Especially if you’re with a bunch of friends and you’re the only one unplugged. That’s like swimming upstream with ankle weights.

    Rollo’s on cue with this. You need to plant the harpoon when they show their underbelly, the ‘cruel to be kind’ sort of therapy.

  76. “@SJF Investing time with Red Pill friends is time well-spent. But in my experience my two Red Pill friends are always so busy slaying pussy and doing their own thing they’re not so available.”

    When the one red pill buddy comes around that resonates with you, you’ll have no doubt. Look at the resonation in Rollo’s Red Man Group. It is fun as hell.

    I had to get comfortable over the last 10 years with men ghosting, or not resonating, and me not getting the opportunity to have a buddy. Just like chicks. A lot slide through your fingers. It same as spinning plates. A lot crash to the ground. You have to know that going into the process.

    It was good I was not needy for friends. It’s harder for extroverts. I did it (got a tribe) first in the deer habitat community, in a male only space. I had good experiences with that and used the process in acquiring Red Pill buddies. Much harder in acquiring Red Pill buddies, because of the important element of not talking about Fight Club.

    I’m in a Liminal Red Pill space. That is why I have pressure of speech, right now. But things are good for me. Peak experiences In The Zone, with Flow are happening. It’s not about ‘Process’ anymore. Just like it was never about process for Blaximus. RSD is all about process.

  77. “Life Coaches” see this neediness as a perfect niche to sell Blue Pill dreams back to guys who want to cling to their Blue Pill security blankets in Red Pill awareness. How miraculous would it seem to think you’re Red Pill savvy enough to make all your old Blue Pill dreams – the ones you went through hell to disabuse yourself of – come true. Hacks like this are too happy to ruin your life for you in rekindling that fantasy as long as you buy the premier edition of their “program”. Caveat emptor.“

    Yes, and those words MAY help SOME (a few) really unplug. But why do they seek out and buy these scams? It is not possible to use red pill awareness to make blue pill dreams come true. They will never come true no matter what. It’s the impossible dream. The red pill man knows blue pill dreams will never come true, so he never wastes his time and energy trying to use the red pill to make blue pill dreams come true. Red pill awareness is defined by exactly this. Anything else is blue pill illusion.

  78. He’d been in this emotional roller coaster for 14 years AND would take her back if he could. His answer didn’t change even when I suggested he not allow her near his house, pension, career etc…

    Some people will need to destroy themselves before they unplugg.

    He has feeeeelz. Gee, I wonder why so many women generally despise men. And when they run into one who won’t let women walk all over them, those women will chase them from here to kingdom come.

    Gamer Maxim: Enforce your boundaries.

  79. @Blaximus, Yeah, I did the meal thing too. Even with ex girlfriends long before the wife. That’s why when I read it, it clicked so hard for me. That example broke through my buffers that game was just asshole advice. I didn’t understand “game” at that moment, I didn’t understand kino. I didn’t understand IOI’s, but I did understand that I had been F#cking up unnecessarily.

    Another analogy that did it for me was an analogy I read about how girls and game were like a kickball game. Imagine playing kickball against a team that sucked and you ran up the score 80 to nothing effortlessly. That would be no fun to play. So with pretty girls, if you fawn all over them, do whatever they want, and prove to be an easy pushover, it’s no fun for her in the same way.

  80. newlyaloof
    When I was blue pill, I thought all the “pickup” and “game” stuff I “glanced” at was just asshole tactics. Not until I read Heartiste’s “Relationship Game Week Dave From Hawaii” post did it click.

    You aren’t the first, last or only man to have benefited from that essay. It is a step-by-step, a mini-diagnostic, a true story, a “you can do this too” help piece all in one. Drop by his blog, “hawaiian libertarian” under the name “Keoni Galt” sometime and thank him.

  81. Rollo in the OP
    <A lot of people will tell you that it’s manipulative to lay the Red Pill on a guy who’s at his most vulnerable, but it requires a stripping away of all the Blue Pill pretense and mind-fuckery to really make a cogent case and unplug the guy.

    Because a man who is blue-pilled gets dopamine hits from his beliefs, he’s in a sense addicted to that mindset. Just as an alcoholic can be talked to endlessly with no results until hitting rock bottom, most blue pilled Betaized men have so many buffers, so many rationalizations, so many deflections that they can’t / won’t face up to reality until something very bad – such as an imploding marriage – is right in their face.

    It isn’t manipulative to drop The Glasses on a man who is hurting, it’s mercy. It’s like saving a man who is drowning, he’s fighting the water, he’s getting hammered by the waves, he doesn’t know where to turn – hand him that life ring, get him dried off.

    Sure, a constant drip-drip of red pill truth over time can – may – might – get into a man’s head and clear up his mistaken beliefs. But really blue pilled men will fight against that truth until the water is over their head and pulling them down to the bottom.

    Even then, not all can be rescued from the FI. Unfortunately.

  82. “When men ask me, “Rollo, my friend, brother, dad, are heading towards something awful, how do I get them to realize they need to unplug?” I have to say wait for the right time.“

    I was the poster child for this.

    My 1st wife’s branch swing nearly unmade me and what was my response? Yep, double down.

    It took the 2nd failing in similarly spectacular fashion for my paradigm to be utterly smashed. Common denominator was me. I had to rebuild myself from the ground up and TRP was my guide.

    A man must have his paradigm completely shattered… all the way down, especially including the BP foundation. There must be nothing left to rebuild from, no old illusions to hold on to.

    If all you’re interested in is a pump and dump. It takes little effort to trick a woman into believing you have actual value and, for that purpose, RSD and it’s ilk fill that niche. Just understand that it’s nothing more than ‘lipstick on a pig’. TRP is not Oz where the Wizard hands you a diploma and you’re now instantly a genius, Nothing of true value is gained without sweat, blood, and sacrifice.,, and ‘Oz’ is the fantasy they sell.

    Whether your end goal is monogamy or a harem, you must actually have value… there is no shortcut.

  83. “A man must have his paradigm completely shattered… all the way down, especially including the BP foundation. There must be nothing left to rebuild from, no old illusions to hold on to.”
    That resonates deeply I never appreciated myself until losing the parts that hurt and killed me.

  84. I know one guy in my personal life that I can seriously see cracking some time in the future.

    He ist blue pill to the core, like literally the bluest of blue. And he ain’t the brightest either.
    He is fifty, divorced, has two grown sons. His wife kicked him out for good some years ago and ever since then he’s trying to get a woman, any woman, as if his life depends on it (which, in his world view, it does).

    But he can’t. He’s physically unattractive with zero game, a huge fat fucker, loud and overbearing and honestly not the brightest. I think he might have a learning disability, maybe even be a functional illiterate (can’t tell for sure). He works some menial job and whenever women come near him he amogs every other male in the most cringeworthy way imaginable while simultaneously wight knighting like his life depends on it (which in his view, it does) … he is like an overgrown autistic child who does forever not get why everybody is repulsed by him.

    Yet I see him suffer for real, even more so through a red pill lense. As the years pass and no woman, no matter how unattractive and post wall, becomes reachable, his lifelong blue pill conditioned old set of books shaped worldview collides more and more with an perspective of old age in loneliness and desperation and he gets edgier and edgier, more desperate and more cringeworthy.

    I wish I could say something positive about him. He is actively trying to approach woman,
    that’s something. But it’s so utter desperate and out of complete scarcity that it’s like watching
    a train wreck. I can’t stand witnessing it (and him) more than two or three times a year max.

    With any other guy I’d think about maybe sending him an anonymous email with some links
    to red pill readings, signed “a friend”. But with this guy, I’m not even sure if he’s really able to read properly. And I AM sure that if I’d try to tell him some red pill truths, he’d not only violently reject it verbally, shittalk me to everybody and hate me forever, I think he might even physically attack me since so much pain and suffering is now attached to this “whole woman thing” for him.

    I don’t know. I see this man suffer and the answers to his problems are there. But there is no way, literally zero way to communicate it to him. It’s tough.

  85. @Rollo

    Believe me, I still get frustrated today. I see stories about how a guy like the one in the discussion above here is on the verge of despondency or suicide because they’re unable or unwilling to consider anything outside the box that the Blue Pill will allow for.

    That’s a pretty serious thought. Blue Pill conditioning, and a guy’s capacity to break away from it, is literally a matter of life and death. Now, imagine you’re a Red Pill aware man and you have the experience of seeing your best friend or brother’s descent into relationship madness only because his ego-investments in the Old Set of Books wont permit him to think any other way. They’d rather put a noose around their neck than reconsider their investments in how things ought to be between men and women.

    that^^^ desperation is actually almost a precondition for RP acknowledgement/acceptance… at least by men that have had any ‘success’ of following the BP system of relationships…

    i covered some of this in those ‘looks matter/don’t matter’ discussions, but the basic concept of men clinging so hard to the social construct (in this case the FI/BP value set…) that they won’t even consider alternate ‘possibilities’… is actually wired in… as an evolved trait… = feeling ‘shame’ as a defense mech against potential group banishment…

    https://www.cep.ucsb.edu/papers/2016Sznycer%20et%20al_Shame%20tracks%20devaluation%20across%20cultures_PNAS.pdf

    the fact that it’s wired in makes it harder to address… bc the man’s firmware system is actually working properly… it’s just that the value set/social construct is corrupted…

    Finally, we come to the point where this guy – maybe the friend you’ve been trying to unplug before something like this happened – is confronted with staying the course, self-righteously accepting his dumping and clings even more so to his Blue Pill Lens on the world, or he develops some introspect and confronts the idea that his outlook on the set of rules he’s been playing by is not valid. The most common way men find the Red Pill community is via an experience like this. Unfortunately, it often requires a significant life trauma to shake the sleeping man awake, but having your outlook on intersexual dynamics challenged is the only way most men will ever be open to anything contradictory.

    see above… the crisis creates the opportunity…

    When men ask me, “Rollo, my friend, brother, dad, are heading towards something awful, how do I get them to realize they need to unplug?” I have to say wait for the right time.

    the potential downside to this approach is that you might miss your window… and the man ‘doesn’t make it’…

    There are some guys who will make this transition on their own and all it might take is your handing him my book and talking about it.

    i think when this^^^ happens/can happen, that THAT man is not identifying with BP/FI as completely as a man who is/has gotten some ‘success’ from FI/BP (‘old set of books’…)…

    sooo, the first step in unplugging a man is to assess his value set…

    if he is MGTOW, he is more likely to just accept the book/talk without any pushback/ghosting…

    if he is solid BP (= has had some ‘success’ at following the BP paradigm, and now things just aren’t ‘working’ anymore…like they are ‘supposed to’…), then it’s likely he won’t be open to hearing anything about TRM/RP… and will ghost you if you bring it up as a full-on RP slap to the side of his head… (unless he is in crisis mode at that point…)

    sooo, for THOSE men you have to be more subtle (expect it to take more time/effort on your part…)… and slip that tiny point of that wedge of RP reality in softly and surely… you basically are trying to create ‘enough’ cognitive dissonance to open the possibility for change… but slowly enough that you avert a crisis…

    you will have to just start making ‘innocent’ comments about ‘other situs’… similar to HIS situ, but just further enough along in the expected cycle of what RP will predict that he will go through… if he doesn’t change his BP/FI behaviors… and then let him make the connections on his own… once what you said happened in that story actually happens to him…

    and you can have the ‘answer’ (RP truth) as being something the guy’s ex-wife ‘confessed’ in a moment of candor… but which was too late to save THAT guy… and then just let your friend/brother’s subconscious work on THAT… bc having the ‘secret’ come from a girl makes it ok for your friend/brother to accept…

    rather than coming from a ‘misogynist asshole’ like that Rollo dude on the internet…lol

    good luck!

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