The Reconstruction III

 

I added this video today to illustrate a point, watch it carefully and with a Red Pill Lens. In this post-sexual revolution 2017 there is a strong want for the fulfillment of what I call the Old Books socio-sexual model goals. I’ll be impressed if you can stomach even half of the boilerplate ‘Man Up’ message in this video, but watch it carefully because it illustrates the dichotomy of a social order that’s been founded on feminine-primacy for over six decades now.

On a side note, I think it should be recognized that even ostensibly conservative thought leaders often toe the line for the Feminine Imperative more effectively than the progressives they attempt to disparage. I’m not going to riff on this video as I think most of my readers will understand the subtext being communicated here, but it’s an interesting exposé of the old books expectation of “doing the right thing”. Granted, it’s the same message of shaming men for exactly what I covered in Are You Experienced?  Only this time the shame for men comes from another man (we’re supposed to respect?) while he attempts to sell the same message that Sheryl Sandberg does in Open Hypergamy,… Be like Ward Cleaver (he’s a stud) and in time, nothing’s sexier.

When we consider that western cultures have consolidated on feminine social primacy, and a women’s-needs-first way of interpreting any social dynamic, things get a bit easier when you distill the intent down from a social scale to a personal scale. What’s being related in this video is the desire to socially, culturally, change the definition of what should be considered “sexy” by women in spite of all evolved arousal and attraction cues they’re subject to. The presumption this is based upon is that attraction is a social construct and therefor something that can be changed.

If a man does everything by the book, if he does everything right, if he accepts the responsibilities feminine-primacy expects of him, he can be considered an adult, and he can assume his chances of being considered ‘sexy’ by women and certainly his own wife.  In so accepting this definition of his burden of performance women will appreciate the equity he accrues in the relationship by investing himself in it.

From a Red Pill perspective we see this for what it is, the old books social contract that is still being sold to a generation of men who increasingly are seeing it for the life-changing lie it is. However, I’ll have you note the final summation of the video where men are encouraged to see adulthood as getting married, becoming a father and working hard to buy a home. I could argue that there are no June Cleavers left in the world or that getting married is a high-risk, low yield gamble. I could argue that becoming a father only makes a man fall in line with the ridiculous or hated caricature popular culture has made of them. I won’t even start on the risks of the housing market.

For all of this, the desire is still a return to a social contract wherein men are conditioned to believe that they will be rewarded for doing everything right. That old school notion has become the Beta bait of the past 3 generations.

As I mentioned in the last installment of this series, most men who are ‘awakened while married’ want to apply their Red Pill awareness in such a way that they might achieve this idyllic state that the guy in this video assures us is possible if we’d all just Man Up. Most married Red Pill (MRP) men are looking to save their marriages. They see it as a key to getting a woman to appreciate his investment in her, in their kids, in his marriage, his dedication to ‘doing everything the right way’,

Much in the same way that single Red Pill guys will (initially) focus on Red Pill awareness and Game in order to eventually connect with their Dream Girls, so too does the MRP guy. The difference being that he’s convinced he’s already married to his dream girl and the only thing between him and that ideal life with her is finding the formula to achieve the life-plan this video elaborates.

As I said before, most married men’s first intent when they unplug isn’t to divorce their wives, hit the clubs and spin plates. His first thought is “how do I get her to come around to appreciating me?” or “How do I get back to the kind of sex we had (or I think we could)?” I think it’s important for men, both Red Pill singles and MRP to disabuse themselves of the Blue Pill goals they think might ever be achievable with Red Pill awareness. I say this because it put that awareness into the perception of it being a cure to their problems. While it may seem noble to a newly unplugged guy to want to use his new superpower of Red Pill awareness for good (not for evil) and valiantly use it to do the right thing for his wife, his desire to do so is still founded in a Blue Pill conditioning that’s taught him he’ll be appreciated for it.

It may be that his new Alpha impression on his wife isn’t something she will ever recognize or accept as ‘the real him’. And while this frustration plays out in his marriage, he also sees the positive responses from women outside his marriage – women unfamiliar with his Beta past – who readily respond to the Game he applies. That new positive reinforcement with outside women contends with his wife’s negative reinforcement inside his marriage.

The following quote was part of a comment from ollieoxenfree in last week’s thread:

Who sees you as a viable long term option and is eager to please (in fact has pleased on many occasions) but is aware you may never reciprocate in kind. Will he waste his best years coveting something he may never have? Wouldn’t it be better to entertain a slightly lesser, suitor and be their top priority?

If a wife can no longer give of herself, does she still see fit to demand the level of investment as when she did? Can a man still appreciate the tacit approval his wife offers him, in not questioning his whereabouts when he’s engaged in an extramarital affair. Does she show affection and support in other ways?
The truth is most women under the influence of the Feminine Imperative don’t support their partners, nor cultivate an understanding with them in regards to the limits of their sexual capacity.

Men, for their part, like to think sexual intercourse with their partners, will always be available, given time and circumstance. The reality is, it isn’t.
Our biologies weren’t meant to tolerate these conditions. Especially with a woman who will constantly shit test you and emasculate you, in every conceivable way she can divine.

A woman will invariably condemn you for your weakness, but expect understanding for hers.

Common Experiences

There is a school of thought about being Red Pill and married that believes that getting a wife (or LTR girlfriend) to accept the ‘new you’ as being impossible. Things may nominally improve due to Dread working, but your new Red Pill marriage will never be what you want it to be because you have improved, she hasn’t and she never wanted you this way in the first place.

I don’t accept this assessment in its entirety, however I do see where this sentiment comes from. Most men who are awakened while married are men who followed the same script as the men I illustrate in Betas in Waiting. These are the men who have ‘done everything right’ for the better part of their lives. They cultivated themselves to be the perfect providers that Sheryl Sandberg would have women believe will be waiting for them when their looks begin to fade and it’s time to cash out of the SMP. These are the men who believe their hard work and perseverance is finally paying off with a women who now find him irresistible because he represents their salvation in long term security and parental investment.

Most women entering their Epiphany Phase are expressly looking for a Beta to take care of them now that the Party Years are coming to an end for her. They’re (ostensibly) done with the Bad Boys (something they had to ‘grow out of’) and now want to do things ‘the right way’. This, of course, suits a Beta in Waiting just fine because his Blue Pill conditioning has prepared him by expecting him to ‘do things the right way’ and to believe any woman wanting to do the same must be a Quality Woman.

These men believe their ship has finally come in, but because of this these men are often the most difficult to unplug. They have the hardest time with Red Pill awareness because in accepting it they must also accept that what led up to their marriage to that Quality Woman was also a result of their Blue Pill conditioning. A lot of their ego is invested in Beta Game and Blue Pill convictions, but also a forced-convincing of themselves that they did everything right and were rewarded for it.

This is why it’s a bitter pill to swallow when that guy’s wife drip-feeds him sex, or he discovers her sexual best was reserved for another man in her past, or she tells him she loves him, but she’s not in love with him. Even in the face of outright disrespect or his Beta confirmations of failed shit tests, he’ll still refuse to acknowledge his state. Often it’s only prolonged sexlessness (and even this is rationalized for a long time) that motivates him to seek the answers of Red Pill awareness.

The Beta in Waiting never had Frame before or during his marriage. In fact, it was just that lack of Frame that made him marriage material for his wife. He was never “Alpha” for her, and in his equalist mindset he believed this was what set him apart and attractive then.

So going from this very strong Beta initial impression to an Alpha position of dominance can be all but impossible – particularly if his self-confirmed status was that of being a proud Beta.

There are other men who’ll report having had an Alpha status prior to their marriage, but they lost it somewhere along the way. They were the Alpha backsliders who possibly entered into the marriage with a dominant Frame, but this dissolved as his wife’s Frame or insecurities about him came to dominate their relationship. I think this is likely the scenario that provides the most believability when a man becomes awakened while married, because it is a return to a prior impression (or one his wife had hoped he’d find) and therefor more believable when he does.

The ‘tamed’ Alphas are also the guys with wives who’ll try to actively minimize his Red Pill transformation. Their wives are simultaneously aroused by this rekindling of his Alpha dominance and fearful that he will come to see her as the failed investment she likely is for him. That may or may not be the actual case for him, but for her it will prompt possessiveness, surveillance and a control over how he’s allowed to ‘appropriately’ express this dominance – which in turn disqualifies it.

In the last installment of this series I will outline some ways in which a Red Pill man might go about internalizing this transformation, how that might manifest itself in an authentic way, and also the pitfalls to be aware of that can stifle it.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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Dave
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Thank you so very much. Thank you. Thank you.

In what seems an insane world, it is nice to know that I am not the crazy one. Not sure how I could have coped otherwise.

Awakened while married, and still struggling,

Dave

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Anonymous Reader
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The Beta in Waiting never had Frame before or during his marriage. In fact, it was just that lack of Frame that made him marriage material for his wife. He was never “Alpha” for her, and in his equalist mindset he believed this was what set him apart and attractive then. So going from this very strong Beta initial impression to an Alpha position of dominance can be all but impossible – particularly if his self-confirmed status was that of being a proud Beta. Getting a good pair of Glasses, taking the Red Pill, leads to a wail of “I… Read more »

Eric
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We all know good guys that qualify as “Ward Cleavers.” I guess I prefer the Ward Cleaver to the metrosexual or the hipster, but we know women don’t desire any of them. I’ve found most Ward Cleaver types to be fairly useless except as casual friends. They are too afraid to do what they want, because they believe the propaganda, even when their wives openly complain about how dull they are. Even open disdain from their wives will not make some of them change course. Unfortunately, organized religion often reinforces the same propaganda, making it even harder for guys that… Read more »

Major Styles
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I was talking to three business associates the other night: all middle-aged men, betas, dejected, and losers in the sexual marketplace. Yet still, they cling so desperately to the “old books” that you mentioned. It’s as if their entire identity is wrapped up in this fallacious school of thought. It failed them so many times….but next time! Yes, maybe next time!

It reminds me of the football fan of a losing team. They’re had 47 straight losing seasons. But by golly, next year is going to be different!

Not Born This Morning
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It is woman who is evolved or formed to serve man. Not the opposite as this Leave it to Beaver bullisit prppaganda sell touts. They could find this example analogy only in TV sitcom crap fantasy because that is the only place where it really endures. Only self denegrading cowards fall for this crap now.

Not Born This Morning
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Look at the narrator. Who would buy any idea of what masculinity is or should be from such a fat fuck plump dweeby wuss hair adapose anyway?

insanitybytes22
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Well Tomassi, you probably won’t be surprised, but I don’t like this post as much as your last one. In fact, I find this one to be biter, nihilistic, and devoid of hope. You do not say one positive thing about the whole institution of marriage,the societal and cultural benefits, or the fact that many,many men have indeed found joy and satisfaction there. “Things may nominally improve due to Dread working, but your new Red Pill marriage will never be what you want it to be because you have improved, she hasn’t and she never wanted you this way in… Read more »

kfg
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anon
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Well, I will say this.
June Cleaver seems to have a special place of contempt in the FI.
One won’t typically here these chants:
“I’m no Carol Brady!”
“I’m no Harriet Nelson!”
(insert other television mother/wife of choice).

The “I’m no June Cleaver” movement is where it’s at.

anon
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“One won’t typically hear”,
should’ve typed.

Not Born This Morning
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Matriarchal power is founded upon feminine sexuality. Men have always been the conquers, creators, protectors and providers, not women. Masculine sexuality is desired by woman. She can only bargain primarily by offering her sexuality, for she has little else to offer other than servile functions. Man posses both his sexuality and his far superior abilities to conquer, create, protect and provide. History tells the truth about the performance of both genders in case anyone cares to verify. Male sexuality, conquest, creativeness, protection, provisioning, these are all bargaining values only man can comprehensively offer to any significant effect. Man has far… Read more »

kfg
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“Man is notorious for overcoming his subgation . . .”

Perhaps the video would have had more of the desired impact if Jim Geraghty didn’t look like a man who couldn’t overcome a stern look.

Robert Kozanis
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Here is what I did to regain my alpha frame in my marriage. I bought a lakefront vacation home 20 minutes from my main residence. I rent out the front half and use the back lakeside portion as my”man-cave/ music studio. I spend 1-2 nights per week there by myself, ( or with a plate). The effect of “dread” really works. I am treated very well by my wife of 30 years these days!

Anonymous Reader
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comment image

Anonymous Reader
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SORSERIGOD aka CEO Nikolic aka something else

In today’s world…

…we don’t need insecure men flogging their own website in Rollo’s comments.

insanitybytes22
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May I say one more thing about the video? I too have discussed and commented on it pretty thoroughly. What ever else I think, Tomassi is quite right in his assessment of the video. Ward Cleaver is actually not a stud at all, he’s more like the kind of man that drives you to having an addiction to antidepressants and suicidal tendencies. Or perhaps just an affair with the milk man. June Cleaver is not content, she’s actually locked in her own Stockholm syndrome. Tomassi also nails it here, “If a man does everything by the book, if he does… Read more »

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insanitybytes22 at 4:37 pm There you go again. Living in a world of how things should be rather than how they are. You do not say one positive thing about the whole institution of marriage,the societal and cultural benefits, or the fact that many,many men have indeed found joy and satisfaction there. Nor will the manosphere say one positive thing about the institution. And you know that but continue to advocate for that which benefits the sisterhood and The Church. We get it/you. But we don’t accept the consequences of blindly adhering to the old set of books. Because of… Read more »

Water Cannon Boy
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They really can’t get over video games.
Bigger font is better.

Didn’t need to be that big, but it’s better.

SJF
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insanitybytes22 at 6:16 pm

Is this the point at which you get schizophrenic?

What would you have your son do with a woman?

Serve the Lord or have a slight bit of real power?*

*(Real Power (T.M.) is the degree to which a person has control over their own circumstances. Real Power is the degree to which we control the directions of our lives.)

Water Cannon Boy
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Ward Cleaver is actually not a stud at all, he’s more like the kind of man that drives you to having an addiction to antidepressants and suicidal tendencies.

And yet you are complaining about Rollo not saying something “positive” about marriage.

kfg
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Someone’s given up the boxed wine for the boxed cough syrup:

anon
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“June Cleaver is not content, she’s actually locked in her own Stockholm syndrome.”

Yes, that’s the general opinion of the FI…also, the OFA…I am on their mailing list (always know thy enemy).
Thanks.

Melmoth
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Geraghty and other “Man Up” trad-cons are just staving off their own subconscious regrets. They’re getting nagged by a fifty year old who hasn’t worked out in over twenty years (and man, did you see that 20 year old at the mall with her tits halfway out? OMG) Allowing that SRP life is a full, fair option that they could have taken just might rip them apart if they acknowledged it consciously—better to deplore the SRP life and file it away as unacceptable, for loser’s only. When things really get ratcheted up, just make a video.

fleezer
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“The ‘tamed’ Alphas are also the guys with wives who’ll try to actively minimize his Red Pill transformation.” ‘tamed’ alpha = beta you either do exactly what you want or you don’t and there is no way a woman could ever stop an alpha from doing anything why did I get married? I had owned girls before, but never with state approval. I mean, she changed her fucking name. think of how insane that is. it would be fucking awesome if american men had their own march… to the courthouse, where every married man filed for divorce on the same… Read more »

Not Born This Morning
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@Rollo – “These men believe their ship has finally come in, but because of this these men are often the most difficult to unplug. They have the hardest time with Red Pill awareness because in accepting it they must also accept that what led up to their marriage to that Quality Woman was also a result of their Blue Pill conditioning. A lot of their ego is invested in Beta Game and Blue Pill convictions, but also a forced-convincing of themselves that they did everything right and were rewarded for it.” There are two other factors that further intensifies such… Read more »

Not Born This Morning
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The ego investment becomes the apron or skirt for beta man to dry his tears, wipe his nose and hide behind.

rugby11
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“What’s being related in this video is the desire to socially, culturally, change the definition of what should be considered “sexy” by women in spite of all evolved arousal and attraction cues they’re subject to. The presumption this is based upon is that attraction is a social construct and therefor something that can be changed.”

Melmoth
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NBTM

Nice analogy there. A lot of the “Man Up” shamers are exactly that, clinging to the apron most tightly of all.

Mookie
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Betas In Waiting is the RM post that has woken me up the most, and this one adds more depth. Thank you. I will add one related observation: If you are in a rapidly escalating relationship with a woman that is more attractive than the average woman you’ve dated, this is a Red Flag. You will not want to admit to yourself that something could be wrong, but it is very wrong.

Boxcar
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@insanity
“In fact, I find this one to be biter, nihilistic, and devoid of hope. You do not say one positive thing about the whole institution of marriage,the societal and cultural benefits, or the fact that many,many men have indeed found joy and satisfaction there.”

Men are naturally driven to pair-bond with women (on this I agree with you, not Rollo). But modern marriage does not serve us well in accomplishing that goal. That’s not bitterness, it’s just reality.

Tarl
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Rollo, I’m definitely more interested in the “always was beta, never was alpha, trying to go RP” scenario than the “alpha who went beta and is trying to recover via RP”. In my case, always beta, so I am not trying to “reset to a prior impression” but trying to create an entirely new impression. Wife is not buying it so far, and it’s tougher than heck to stay out of her frame.

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Tarl, first thought: how many new things are you doing?

Boxcar
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@Not Born This Morning “Matriarchal power is founded upon feminine sexuality. Men have always been the conquers, creators, protectors and providers, not women… ” All of modern society is basically an enlargement of men’s role in providership, invention and social leadership. As you go on to point out, feminism is largely just responding to this, particularly with its sense of inadequacy. Follow Rollo’s “Are You Experienced” link, and you can see an example of feminists even envying men’s capacity to have fun (vs. women’s bourgeois materialism). The modern idea of ‘finding yourself through experience’ is within the male frame, at… Read more »

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@ boxcar

Should read Alphas have it good in modern society, betas are just slaves to the FI and thoroughly disposable slaves that can be “upgraded” at any time at that.

She will trade a beta in for a better option ( even if it’s just a better beta ) as fast as she will upgrade her smartphone to the latest model, in fact she will probably have fonder memories of her old phone until she becomes accustomed to the new “features” of its replacement.

thomasso75
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Great as usual. Looking forward to the last part!

Mineter
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I couldn’t help thinking during the video that the television show that most accurately represented Western families (even today) was “Married with Children”.

Playdontpay
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I have a friend who is a textbook beta in waiting who is currently devastated at the end of a 4 year LTR. It played out so predictably I’m actually surprised it lasted that long, he on the other hand “didn’t see it coming” , still loves her and can’t believe all the “relational equity” he believes he accrued counts for nothing in face of a better option arriving on the scene. She moved on so quickly his head is still spinning two months later. He is the living embodiment of the old set of books expectations, she is a… Read more »

pinelero
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The fact that IB doesn’t really understand or like your post only means how close to the truth it is. this is the most clear cut proof of the fI wailing over the unveiling of open hypergamy.

DisgruntledEarthling
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@IB
A man who “does everything right, does everything by the book,” is totally boring, not sexually appealing. Even worse, he thinks his own goodness means “he can assume his chances of being considered ‘sexy’” That’s what women actually mean when we say male entitlement. He believes he is entitled by virtue of his own “goodness.” We want men entitled by virtue of their own “badness.”

The curtain revealed…
And what is your complaint about what Rollo writes anyways? This little snippet is the basis of all.

rugby11
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Playdontplay

DisgruntledEarthling
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@Tarl

You’ll find lots of great advice here, and it will help, if you’re serious about turning things around and willing to walk away if it doesn’t.

Dizzle
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Likely he’s too old to unplug. You did the right thing by trying.

RICanuck
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Ward Cleaver was sexy in his place and time. June Cleaver never disrespected him, but did disagree with him when Wally and Beaver were out of earshot. “You were awful hard on the Beaver, last night”. What made Ward sexy was 10 years of economic depression and suffering when family formation was very difficult for most men due to lack of resources. This was followed by 6 years of war when most of the men were overseas or otherwise occupied in the military. When the war was over, North America was about the only place left unscathed. A man could… Read more »

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@ dizzle You are probably right @ 45 he’s too heavily invested in the FI. I managed it at 45 but it was a lot easier for me as I already had an n count of around 130+ and a marriage to a crazy Italian BPD chick behind me by that point. For me it was more a case of confirming what I already knew and joining a few dots on suspicions I had about women along with erasing some beta backsliding that occurred during my marriage to a crazy chick that had the money and looks to manipulate me… Read more »

Playdontpay
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@ rugby 11

Video won’t play says not available. What’s the synopsis?

rugby11
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Playdontplay
Man sleeps with another guys wife guy ends up blaming husband and beats him up out of his own home.
(Irony of blue and red in cinema)
kfg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EN2lyN7rM4E

Nate P
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This series really hits home with me. I was a beta going into my marriage as far as my old books beliefs, but alpha enough to have my wife enter my frame. Over the years I let her erode my frame and one day I looked around and felt like a stranger in my own home. By the time I discovered the red pill and regained my frame it was too late. I gave up too many little battles along the way. My dad (blue pill to the core) always taught me to “pick my battles” and I heard that… Read more »

Dizzle
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@ Play You and I are the same age and have a similar testament, except my BPD was Croatian, my N was 1 (I’m devoutly Catholic), and I got left by my oneitis a couple of years back. But then I got incredibly lucky that I had a redux last year – that took 20 years of bad behavior and condensed it down to two months. That woke me up. Suffice to say, the rest of my story is the same as everyone else who gets here – you either make it or you don’t. You can either show personal… Read more »

kfg
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“Ward Cleaver was sexy in his place and time.” Ward Cleaver was attractive. There was absolutely nothing sexy about Leave it to Beaver. Note that Ward and June Cleaver were born during WWI, in a farm town just outside of Cleveland, which they never moved away from. They both graduated college (the first in the their families to do so and which at the time put them in the elite), Ward majoring in philosophy. Married just before the war, which is the reason for the age gap between Wally and The Beaver, as Ward served with the Seabees. The Beaver… Read more »

rationalityf
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What is the position on an ex coming back into a man’s life and wanting to be friends? Is this just female primacy seeking emotional connection on her terms or is it the possibility of further shit testing to see if that man is the one for her? If a woman dumps a man due to Blue Pill conditioning is there ever any chance that the woman would welcome that man to be the Alpha (after the man understanding where he has gone wrong) she connects with on an emotional level? Wouldnt a woman welcome that change?

kfg
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@rationalityf:

https://therationalmale.com/2011/11/21/kill-the-beta-2/

Then get on with your life.

Dizzle
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@ kfg

My pet name for my ex was “Alice”, but until exactly right now I didn’t realize why.

Thank you for the gift of perspective.

BK
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Rollo – new site design looks great! And larger print size makes it much easier to read.

Dizzle
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@rationalityf:

My philosophy I’ve adopted is this:

Women have boyfriends and girlfriends. If you aren’t having sex with her, you are her girlfriend.

I can’t imagine anything more damaging to you as a man/beta as to bring an ex back you have feelings for as a friend. It’s worse than accepting LJBF.

This chick isn’t a friend. She’s a parasite. Treat her accordingly.

rationalityf
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@Dizzle

Yes you have a very good point and why I havent wanted to know in the past but after seeing her the other night, it was more a cry for help, that she wants to be controlled and was shit testing me to see if I am that man. If I meet those conditions then I’m in, if not I’m out. Does that not work?

DisgruntledEarthling
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Women have boyfriends and girlfriends. If you aren’t having sex with her, you are her girlfriend. I can’t imagine anything more damaging to you as a man/beta as to bring an ex back you have feelings for as a friend. It’s worse than accepting LJBF. I’m going through this now – just kick the bitch to the curb. It’s amazing how she just doesn’t understand the concept. In my case I’ve got a small moral complication. She drove and helped me when we were dating during my hernia surgery and now she’ll be going in for a similar surgery (post… Read more »

kfg
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@rationalityf: “Does that not work?”

That is correct, that does not work.

Look, if you want to be her girlfriend, fine I guess, that’s up to you. I’ve done that once myself.
If you want her to be your broken plate, between her boyfriends fuck buddy for whatever you get out of that, fine I guess, that’s up to you.

But if you are expecting anything else don’t say we didn’t warn you.

@Disgruntled Earthling: “I feel a ‘debt’ towards her for that and I’m not sure what to do…”

Help her gain momentum toward the next monkey.

DisgruntledEarthling
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Ouch!

Blaximus
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Only suffered through half of the video. I hate bullshit propaganda. Digging the series RT. A huge part of unplugging includes the disconnecting from ” society ” wholey, and then only reincorporating that which iiz reasonable and can be utilized iin a RP frame and perspective. Lots of anger floating Around concerning having been lied to and mislead. It’s imperative that this be let go of ASAP.. This includes ” organized religion “. As soon as I wasold enough to understand what was going on around me, I immediately became suspicious of the broader society and concluded that it was… Read more »

RICanuck
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@Rollo and kfg

My original comment intended to say that Ward was ‘sexy’ due to his place and time, and that time is not coming back.

As to origanized religion, I will say that the Catholic church is the Church founded by Christ, but my background feelings are rage, Rage, and RAGE.

insanitybytes22
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“Tradcons don’t want the Red Pill, they want a time machine.” This is quite true. What many don’t understand is that the past is not quite as they are imagining it to be. I am not really a trad/con, but more of an outlier on the fringes of culture. So when you are in the boonies, off the grid, practicing sustenance living, men and women don’t have the issues and problems we see in modern culture. Women, our lives are so dependent on men, food, firewood, protection. And men, well they tend to be kind to women least they have… Read more »

rationalityf
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@Rollo Tomassi

Many thanks. The harsh words here are a deep reminder of the harsh realities of the gyrocentric society we live in. I have decided to hit the dating scene hard and will see this girl two or three more times, play it mean and go from there. I dont want to be an emotional tampon or a girlfriend but neither do I want to be too rash as she is clearly looking for direction that she did not receive in my previous state. Her options are not great and she will be reminded of this.

insanitybytes22
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Of course I realize that. I’ve given up all hope of ever reaching you. You’re convinced you have all the answers.

kfg
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@RICanuck: “My original comment intended to say that Ward was ‘sexy’ due to his place and time . . . ” Attractiveness is not sexyness. You were meant to desire to live like Ward and June, not desire to fuck them. The emotional response was avarice, not lust. The Cleavers were deliberately portrayed as less sexy than you could make a cardboard cutout. Women didn’t watch and desire Ward. They desired electric toasters and washing machines. Men didn’t watch and desire June. They desired not to have to shovel shit for a living. ” . . .that time is not… Read more »

thedeti
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“There is a school of thought about being Red Pill and married that believes that getting a wife (or LTR girlfriend) to accept the ‘new you’ as being impossible. Things may nominally improve due to Dread working, but your new Red Pill marriage will never be what you want it to be because you have improved, she hasn’t and she never wanted you this way in the first place.” And sometimes, the new RP marriage will never be what you want it to be because even though you have improved, she saw you and knew you in your Blue Pill… Read more »

RICanuck
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@insanityBytes

I don’t have all the answers, but you can reach me. Do you live or visit Southern New England, and will you be discreet.

having a bad day
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having a bad day
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watched the whole video…[spits]… one thing that jumped out at me was that Egalitarian Equalosity(tm) was on display… they tried to make it about ‘equal opportunity shaming’…lol… at 2:41 they called girls’ pre-epiphany stage AF sexual strategy ‘adolescent fascination with badboys’…lol… which girls eventually ‘outgrow’…lol… (and from beta dudes, they probably thought THAT was pushing the envelope…lol) It may be that his new Alpha impression on his wife isn’t something she will ever recognize or accept as ‘the real him’. And while this frustration plays out in his marriage, he also sees the positive responses from women outside his marriage… Read more »

insanitybytes22
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“I don’t have all the answers, but you can reach me. Do you live or visit Southern New England, and will you be discreet.” LOL, thank you, RICanuck that was very kind, however you intended it. “She knows what you REALLY are. This RP stuff is just LARPing. Eventually, you’ll revert back to your Blue Pill groveling and loserish ways. It’s just a matter of time.” How many years have I now read your pathetic drivel, Deti? Your tragic and loveless marriage, your perpetual cross to bear. I think you actually use that darn woman as an excuse to be… Read more »

Marko
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Rollo: Long time reader and hard thinker of your posts, books, and the comments, since April 2015. I’m OMG, 45+ years of “egalitarian” marriage. I’ve found TRM exceptionally helpful to reclaiming full Alpha in my marriage. And encouraging my wife to full female Alpha. We each have our own MPO. We do the Manuel Smith Respectful Assertiveness, both of us. You seem to be losing any hope in marriage, unless wife “submits”. Sounds like your marriage is very much in question long term, as the gap between your SMV and your wife’s inevitably widens. The “wife must submit” and “younger… Read more »

Marko
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Rollo, just posted. Do not want that name out there. Please change name to “Marko” ASAP!

Sentient
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Great post HABD. Etheir evo-bio psych is true or it’s not. Either the nature of woman is unchanged or it’s not. Either AWALT or NAWALT.

Can’t have both.

Sentient
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comment image

behold the “alpha” female model Marko….

kfg
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@Marko: “An Alpha married to an Alpha model, with respectful assertiveness, seems like a much better model.”

Does elitist equalitarianism come with fried ice eggroll?

Marko
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@kfg
Usually find your comments insightful.
So, instead of snark, how about addressing the core issue I raised.
TRM is all about being Alpha, ie “elite”.

kfg
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@Marko:

I have no problem with being elite. As I have said before, I am not an elitist, I am elite. The former is a philosophical statement, the latter an objective statement.

Your own posits elites, but tries to fit them into the egalitarian philosophical mold.

There is an impedance mismatch.

Marko
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Thanks Rollo!
Very much looking forward to Reconstruction IV post!

@Sentient
Again, usually find your comments insightful!
Re Bardot: I’ll bet she is still a good fuck for an Alpha who gives her the tingles. For me, the whole Alpha package is the turn-on.

Razorwire
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“…or at least the women who have ‘outgrown’ their adolescent fascination with badboys.” – LOL Nuggets like these are just too much. So not only can the badboy fascination be outgrown, but whatever constitutes “fascination” should be ignored by men once she has outgrown it. Yet all while he is lecturing men to grow up and marry that slut, he at no point suggests there is any duty or obligation for a woman to grow-up – or anything else for that matter. Worse, it is EXPECTED that all woman have her badboy “phase”. Pure AF/BB gold. Basically, men: work hard… Read more »

stuffinbox
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@ROLLO “I’ve accepted that whenever I make a post about marriage the inevitable reflex response will always be that it must be some reflection on my marriage. Don’t make that presumption.” I try to remain objective,then you continuosly nail my current situ like this.Sometimes it hits too close to home.Then There is super tramp. “The ‘tamed’ Alphas are also the guys with wives who’ll try to actively minimize his Red Pill transformation. Their wives are simultaneously aroused by this rekindling of his Alpha dominance and fearful that he will come to see her as the failed investment she likely is… Read more »

Sisyphus
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Rollo, Love this series! I’ve been digging deep since last post and comments from others here. All – feel free to jump in and critique & trash this if necessary – I have thick skin. (Long) Sometimes I have to develop first principles myself to help me internalize them. This isn’t new or novel, just internally developed. Donald Trump has been the poster child lately for his poor treatment of women, specifically his statements about walking up to women and grabbing their pussies and kissing them with little or no warning. This seems to be backed up by the fact… Read more »

newlyaloof
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@Razorwire, Haha! Bringing down the gauntlet! Comment of the day!

Gunnar von Cowtown
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“I couldn’t help thinking during the video that the television show that most accurately represented Western families (even today) was “Married with Children”.
Add 40 lbs of lard to Peggy Bundy, and you’re there.

rugby11
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kfg
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“But the epiphany came when I realized that if a man, particularly a rich, powerful man (high status) can isolate a woman, he can take advantage of her . . .”

Because, of course, as a woman, she is repulsed by sex, particularly with rich, powerful men.

“Protection provided by the State”

i.e. violent men.

TuffLuv
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..men who’ll report having had an Alpha status prior to their marriage, but they lost it somewhere along the way. They were the Alpha backsliders who possibly entered into the marriage with a dominant Frame, but this dissolved as his wife’s Frame or insecurities about him came to dominate their relationship. So, I’d venture a guess that most marriages that last a significant amount of time, and started at a young age fall into this category. A few things I’ll say about it. When you’re doing everything right, and sufficiently holding frame in your marriage (e.g. sex is good, patriarchy… Read more »

Sisyphus
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@kfg “Because, of course, as a woman, she is repulsed by sex, particularly with rich, powerful men.”

No, no…I guess that was assumed.

constrainedlocus
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My summary notes about the Old Books: As a man, if you: 1. “Do the right thing” 2. “Be responsible and accountable.” 3. “Work hard” 4. “Get married.” (become a husband) 5. “Become a father” 6. “Provide (resources, protection) for your wife and family” 7. “Purchase a home” 8. “Pay taxes” 9. “Devote yourself to monogamy” 10. “Sacrifice” Then: 1. “You will be considered an adult.” 2. “You will be rewarded with love, adoration and sex.” 3. “Your wife will appreciate you, for who you are.” 4. “Other women will find you attractive (sexy), including your own wife.” 5. “Society… Read more »

dragnet
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@ TuffLuv

“In hindsight I think I could come up with a plan in a few minutes that might have worked wonders…”

Can you sketch this out? I’m curious as to what you would have done then, knowing and have internalized what you know now.

Thanks for the post man—always great to hear firsthand accounts from guys who have survived and thrived since then.

stuffinbox
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kfg
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@Sisyphus:

The phrase “take advantage of” is straight out of the FI second set of playbooks. It’s a rather peculiar phrase when you examine it closely, because it actually gives the game away in a way that only a woman could.

Ask yourself, just what is being “taken advantage of”?

Prometheus
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Prometheus
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Pure alpha would be doing what or who you want when you want. The prisons are filled with Alpha. Is it not more alpha to forcibly take a pretty young woman than ask for her number? Pure Alpha doesn’t kindly ask permission for anything, it takes what it wants from women or betas. Seems the beta population, made up of women and non-alpha men have combined their power in the form of societal laws to contain Pure Alpha. Would you,even if your very alpha, want to live in a city with unmitigated pure alphas taking all your women and resources?… Read more »

Pellaeon
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@Rollo There is a school of thought about being Red Pill and married that believes that getting a wife (or LTR girlfriend) to accept the ‘new you’ as being impossible. Things may nominally improve due to Dread working, but your new Red Pill marriage will never be what you want it to be because you have improved, she hasn’t and she never wanted you this way in the first place. I don’t accept this assessment in its entirety Are you going to explore the portions of this statement you disagree with, and why, in the third installment? This post only… Read more »

Marko
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@Kfg
“Alpha-Alpha Complementarian” is better label for what I think (and, what I experience) as a workable model LTR. Male and Female are definitely not “equal” as TRM and evo-psych and simple biology definitively show. But, complementary, yes, as evo-psych and simple biology show. Viva la differance! Polarity —> Tingles!

Sisyphus
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@kfg “Take advantage of…” – Okay, the idea being that “forcibly” is different than “take advantage of”. If I’m taking an advantage then there is ostensibly a negotiation taking place which is different than me taking something through force. As in, I can take advantage of my skills to win a bid for a project, which is fundamentally different than say, forcing someone to use my services regardless of my skills or capabilities, yes?

Recep
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awesome series

newlyaloof
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@Sisyphus, I may be misunderstanding you, but I don’t get your whole main comment here today. I was wondering if your wife hacked your username and wrote your post earlier. This seems like a different headspace than your comments on the last post.

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