The Reconstruction II

reconstructionii

One of the most influential books I’ve ever read I picked up from my father’s home library when I was about 25. That book was Dr. Warren Farrell’s Why Men Are The Way They Are. At the time it didn’t strike me as odd that my father would have this book in his collection – my clinically depressed, 3rd wave feminist, aging hippy of a step-mother had eventually roped him into reading it for some Unitarian book club they belonged to in the early 90s. I still have it. It’s even got her penciled-in liner notes scribbled in the margins with all the feminist outrage I imagine it must’ve inspired for her. It’s sort of a cosmic irony that the book she raged over would be instrumental for my own writing and online persona.

People always ask me when my point of unplugging came about, but if I’m honest, it was a gradual process that required a lot of bad experiences to learn my way out of the Matrix. However, Farrell’s book was a turning point for me. I’ve since had to reassess my opinion of Dr. Farrell – he’s still very much Blue Pill and will likely go to his grave never making the connection that a belief in egalitarian equalism (as taught to him by early feminism) is what’s kept him blind to really accepting Red Pill awareness. But if I had a moment of unplugging I’d say it was directly attributable to this book.

I think what got me the most about it at the time were the many stories of the men Farrell had done ‘men’s group’ sessions with while doing his research for the book. It was published 1986 (about 7 or 8 years before I read it) so it was already kind of dated when I read it, but for the most part these men sort of had these sit-ins with other men to relate with each other. If you’ve read my essay Tribes you’ll understand why these new-agey get together seem very contrived to me, but the stories these guys were relating in the early to mid 80s were about what I’d expect coming from my own Dad.

They all did everything right. Some were the products of the free love generation or the hedonistic 70s, but overall these guys were caught in the perfect storm of still clinging to the old books Beta-provisioning social contract and the expectation of 3rd wave feminists that they be ‘evolved males’. More than a few were attending these men’s groups at the behest of their empowered wives in the hopes that they’d learn to get in touch with their feminine sides or at least find some better way to meet their “needs”. I could see my father as one of these men.

Papa Tomassi was a very confused man with regard to women as it was, but to be caught on the cusp of an era when feminine social primacy coming into its own and still being part of the ‘do everything right’ social contract and the belief system that was doomed to fail in the decades to come, I can understand a lot of that confusion. One man in the book described it thusly:

“I feel like I’ve spent 40 years of my life working as hard as I could to become somebody I don’t even like.”

Each one of these guys related a similar frustration. They busted their asses for decades to fulfill the old books social contract, the one that had been the way you did the right thing in order to have a life with a woman, a family, kids, maybe grandchildren, and all of that was no longer working for men. The 24 year old Rollo Tomassi reading this book didn’t know what Hypergamy really was back then, but as I recount these men’s confusion today I can see that it was a result of being the first men to realize that institutionalized Hypergamy was erasing that old social paradigm for them.

Bad Investments

I’ve covered the fallacy of Relational Equity in a prior post, but I think it’s necessary to revisit the idea here to understand how it still undermines men in an era of Open Hypergamy and feminine social primacy. These men, most of whom are likely into their 70s now, had a preconception of what it meant to ‘do everything right’; to play by an understood rule set that women were supposed to find attractive, to acknowledge and honor. Furthermore, they were taught to expect a degree of mutual reason from these new, empowered and evolving women. If needs weren’t being met, well, then all that was necessary was a heart to heart and open communication and negotiation would set things back on track because women could be expected to be the functional equivalents of men. This was the golden, egalitarian, sexual equality, future that feminism promised the guys in the 70s and 80s.

Relational Equity is the misguided belief that ‘doing everything right’ would necessarily be what ultimately attracts a woman, kept a woman, a wife, an LTR, from both infidelity, and was an assurance of her continued happiness with her man. Needless to say, the collected experiences of men that’s led to the praxeology of what we know as Red Pill awareness puts the lie to this – but as men, we expect some kind of acknowledgement for our accomplishments. Rationally, in a male context, we expect that what we do will at least be recognized as valuable, if not honored, by other men. So by extension of our equalist social contract, women, whom we are told we should expect to be co-equal agents with men, should also be expected to see past their emotional Hypergamous natures and make a logical conclusion to be attracted to men who are good fits in a mutually understood sense.

This, of course, is nonsense for the same reason that expecting genuine desire can be negotiated is nonsense, but essentially this is essentially the idea the shifting social contract of the time was trying to convince men of. And as you might expect, those men, the ones with the insight to recognize it, saw it for the opportunism it really was. Even if they ended up at 40 hating who they’d become.

From Relational Equity:

This is a really tough truth for guys to swallow, because knowing how hypergamy works necessarily devalues their concept of relational equity with the woman they’re committed to, or considering commitment with. Men’s concept of relational equity stems from a mindset that accepts negotiated desire (not genuine desire) as a valid means of relationship security. This is precisely why most couples counseling fails – its operative origin begins from the misconception that genuine desire (hypergamy) can be negotiated indefinitely.

When we become Red Pill aware there is also a kind of Relational Equity we need to acknowledge and manage. Once we’ve unplugged it’s easy to get caught up in thinking that because we know the game, because we’ve gone through the trials, because we know we’re higher value men – if for no other reason than that we no longer subscribe to the misgivings of out Blue Pill conditioning – because of that awareness we tend to think that this should be consciously or tacitly appreciated by a wife, a girlfriend or the women we’re sarging in the club.

This can be kind of tough for an aware man because it’s often something we need to keep latent in ourselves. Being overt about Red Pill awareness with women is almost always self defeating because it exposes the Game. Women want to play the game, they don’t want to be told how it operates. In our everyday lives it’s necessary to reserve and observe or we risk changing the process.

Openly acknowledging the value a man believes he ought to inspire in a woman will alter her perception of that value. Most men who resort to forcing a woman’s hand by laying bare all the qualities of himself (real or imagined) he believes she should recognize and appreciate are only exposing their belief that Relational Equity and an old paradigm mindset is his mental point of origin. In truth, guys who attempt to set themselves apart by listing all the ways they’re valuable and playing by the rules generally get shamed by women in the end because those qualities have become so common place and expected that they’ve become debased.

So you’re a great father to your kids and a devoted husband who built himself into the guy that any woman should be attracted to, who should be a great catch? That’s great, but that’s what you’re supposed to do. And all those things you’re supposed to do, those aren’t what engender a woman’s genuine desire. In a feminine-primary social order – the same order that deliberately misdefines masculinity for men – all men need to do, endlessly, is just a bit more to do everything right.

The Awakening

On both the Married Red Pill and MGTOW Reddit forums there’s been discussed the concept of being ‘awakened while married’. Hopefully I wont butcher that concept too badly here, but I think one aspect of becoming Red Pill aware, whether you’re a young single guy or an old mature married one is that there comes a point when you are awake and aware of the conditioning and the intersexual paradigm you truly live in. Honestly, I envy the younger men who come into this awareness early in life, but I also recognize that theirs is a greater responsibility to the truth for the rest of their unplugged lives. Men awakened while married at least have the excuse of having been deluded by Blue Pill conditioning for most of their lives to that point.

For younger men the Red Pill presents challenges with each new prospective woman a man applies himself with. For the awakened married man, his challenge is reinventing himself in a Red Pill aware paradigm with a woman who is already intimately aware of his persona, possibly for decades. We always say that once you’ve become Red Pill aware there is no going back. Even for men who go into total denial and choose to live with the cognitive dissonance of what they know about their own Blue Pill conditioning and the socio-sexual game going on around them there will always be reminders of Red Pill awareness he’ll notice on his peripheries.

For a man awakened to his condition while married, his state is a never ending reminder of what his Blue Pill indenturement has made of him. Like the guy in Farrell’s men’s group, the Blue Pill husband has spent most of his life trying to become someone he may or may not like, but that process of becoming was prompted by his Blue Pill conditioned existence. Once that man becomes Red Pill aware he’s now faced with two problems – how will he remake himself and how will his wife accept that remaking?

From the earliest posts of this blog I’ve always stressed that a man’s dominant Frame in his relationship is vital to the function of that relationship. Unfortunately, most men who were awakened while married began their relationships with a strong Beta perception for their wives. We can debate as to whether just the commitment of marriage itself makes for a predominantly Beta perception of a man, but in an era of  masculine ridicule, Open Hypergamy and Alpha Widows it’s a good bet that women’s impression of their husbands is rarely one of reserved Alpha confidence.

This is a tough position for a Red Pill aware husband to confront. Sometimes a wife’s impression of his Beta-ness is too embedded, or she’s built a relational framework around expecting him to be a hapless Beta. Humans are creatures of habit with an insatiable need to see familiarity in other people’s actions. Your predictability gives them a sense of control. I should add that this expectation of predictability isn’t just limited to a wife’s perception of her Beta husband. That can, and often does, extend to a man’s family or friends who also expect him to be the Beta he’s always been. This then presents another challenge in remaking himself into something new, dominant and respectable in his Red Pill awareness.

Many of the men I used to do peer counseling with back in the early 2000s only wanted one thing; they wanted their wives to have a genuine desire to fuck them with either an enthusiasm they’d never known (but believed was possible) or they hoped to re-experience (and hopefully sustain) a genuine sexual desire they’d enjoyed with their wives while they were dating. None of them wanted (at least at first) to abandon their marriages, they just wanted to do thing right so their wives would fuck them, love them, respect them. They really wanted things to work, and so much so that they would overtly ask their wives “what do I have to do to get you to love/fuck/respect me and I’LL DO IT!” Which of course was precisely the thing that turned their wives off even more.

Their overtness and desperation was only more reinforcement and confirmation of these men’s wives perception of their Beta statuses. However, these men are the descendants of the generations that convinced them that ‘open communication’ solves all relationship problems, but here they were, being open, direct, expecting a rational, negotiable solution to their problem only to have it drive their disgusted wives further from them.

Hypergamy doesn’t care when a woman’s lasting impression of a man is his Beta status. How a man’s Red Pill awareness and the changes it brings in him will be accepted depends largely on his predominant condition. What husbands want is a sea change in their wives’ impression of them once they adopt a Red Pill / Game aware way of life. Most husbands have to weigh their emotional and personal investments in their wives with the reality that their wives’ impressions of them may simply never change. Becoming Red Pill aware forces husbands into a position of having to judge whether their marriages are even worth the considerable effort of trying to improve.

In the next part of this series I’ll be exploring the challenges an ‘awakened while married’ man has to face while weighing his wife’s impression of him with the impressions women outside his marriage have of him.

 

 

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Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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stuffinbox
3 years ago

Still haven’t seen any footage of the triggle puff,sour bippy,sugar bugger march on washington and don’t intend to..

Got more important things to do.

Don’t mistake a couple of old guys joking around about dimm lighting and no rheostat for a pity party,it is just a party.”I’m younger than that now”

TheLastCoyote
TheLastCoyote
3 years ago

Good post and a lot of good comments here. Random thoughts: The Mass Temper Tantrum – er, I mean Protests: Yet more evidence (as if we needed any more evidence) that women mentally never progress beyond age 17. They can scream and hold crude signs all they want, but Trump will still be president when they wake up in the morning. Such lengths to show they are doing “something” without accomplishing a damn thing. The Dems and the cuck Republicans were already plotting impeachment before these protests started, Trump was already plotting ways to expose Dems and Cuckservatives for the… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

LastCoyote

” If I had to drill this post down to one sentence, it would be, “Look at women how they really are instead of how you want them to be.””

this is my definition of The Red Pill… Seeing rhings as they are instead of how you want them to be.

stuffinbox
3 years ago

“The Mass Temper Tantrum – er, I mean Protests: Yet more evidence (as if we needed any more evidence) that women mentally never progress beyond age 17. They can scream and hold crude signs all they want, but Trump will still be president when they wake up in the morning. Such lengths to show they are doing “something” without accomplishing a damn thing. The Dems and the cuck Republicans were already plotting impeachment before these protests started, Trump was already plotting ways to expose Dems and Cuckservatives for the pansies they are, and the protests have not altered those facts… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
3 years ago

Not to get into a big political convo here, but I am curious as to who Trump supporters seem to think he actually is. And Full Disclaimer: I am of no political party affiliation, nor am I a ” Liberal ” ( even though people seem to assume this of me on sight ) and I abstained from this election because it was literally a joke in my eyes. But I keep hearing a consistent support of The Donald, and my thing is, no one ( that I know, regardless of party ) that knows him/who he is/what he stands… Read more »

Novaseeker
Novaseeker
3 years ago

The upshot: Things are going to get much worse before they get better. Whether you believe the election was primarily about gender politics or not (I do), these “empowered” women are on the march and they aren’t going to fade back into obscurity. We’re in for a long, nasty, bitter fight and it’s not going to end well I’m afraid. What Rollo is doing here is hugely important, but folks, we’re still just a small insurgency… RP is no longer just important for a man’s personal development and happiness. It now has critically important societal significance as well. It’s been… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
3 years ago

A lot of the million vagina marchers wore pink caps with cat ears called Pussy Hats because of the “grab ’em by the pussy” recorded remark. The irony is rich: Trump’s actual quote states that a famous man can do anything he wants with women, because they will let him do it. Henry Kissinger said that power is the greatest aphrodisiac decades ago, but he didn’t pull the kitty out of the bag so obviously – therefore no protest marches. I bet that a whole lot of the million vagina marchers would admit, in private, that what Trump said was… Read more »

kfg
kfg
3 years ago

re President Donald Trump:

You know wanna know how surreal the world seems to me right now? Well, I’m gonna tell ya anyway:

If twenty-something Sandra Bullock doesn’t walk up to me soon and tell me that she’s my new partner, the world will start to feel surreal.

Lost Patrol
Lost Patrol
3 years ago

@Blax I also am of no political party affiliation, nor a “liberal”. Trump can basically stop doing things now (maybe that would be best for a few days) and just hang out at the white house as far as I’m concerned, because he already did the only thing I needed him to do. Keep Her Royal Highness off the throne. That’s it. Quote from AR: Current day America is more fem centric than any civilization in known history. So naturally women are frustrated with it. They got what they said they wanted…and it’s not enough, or not the right pastel… Read more »

Novaseeker
Novaseeker
3 years ago

I also am of no political party affiliation, nor a “liberal”. Trump can basically stop doing things now (maybe that would be best for a few days) and just hang out at the white house as far as I’m concerned, because he already did the only thing I needed him to do. Keep Her Royal Highness off the throne. That’s it. Pretty much where I am as well. I don’t know what he will do (hopefully not much, really), but he won’t do what SHE would have done, and that’s not nothing. I think we are nearing the end of… Read more »

Forge the Sky
Forge the Sky
3 years ago

@Blax Haven’t been able to keep up with the thread, so I’m literally just sniping your comment here. Sorry if I’m missing some context. I’m not what I would call a Trump supporter, but I supported him over Hillary, so let’s see if I can articulate some reason as to why. First of all, there’s a good deal of truth to the fact that a lot of people were voting against Hillary rather than for Trump. I thought that she was certain to continue the status quo, and was fairly concerned about where that status quo was leading us; in… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
3 years ago

@ Forge I agree with 90% of your assessment. For me, personally though, Donald doesn’t possess enough intellect for the position. Any person holding the office of POTUS has to at a minimum, know more than I do. Ex: Even if by some act of God ( or the Devil…take your pick ), I was holding the office and the ” President ” of Taiwan was to give me a courtesy call, I wouldn’t have taken it, understanding the issues that may result, at least until I’d formed my actionable plan and policy. My concern is that there are some… Read more »

anon
anon
3 years ago

Two months wasn’t enough time to cancel plans? About a year ago, before Trump’s nomination I asked a smart person whom I respect why he was voting for Trump. I thought he had a pretty good answer: …not because that old self-promoting shyster would likely make a fine president… …but because… – other candidates are mostly pushing petty and distracting issues, or even seriously destructive ones, while talking around the important ones that Trump is pushing – it is already clear what Bush 3 and Clinton 2 would do with a presidency… little of it positive for America – gridlock… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
3 years ago

Rollo
While I’d definitely agree that the US is leading the way in feminine-primacy, make no mistake, all western(izing) nations are being fundamentally reengineered for feminine-primacy.

Not just western nations.

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/china/china-tackles-masculinity-crisis-tries-stop-effeminate-boys-n703461

rugby11
3 years ago

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stuffinbox
3 years ago

“Not to get into a big political convo here, but I am curious as to who Trump supporters seem to think he actually is.” Blax never was a Trump supporter not much of an Obama basher either,just making a joke. Been watching Trump in the news since the seventies,through the bankrupcies and battles. Today he is the POTUS and our best bet as a leader,I think he has a broader vision for the nation US than the world order,this may change as it has for many that came before,time will tell. What I find disgusting are the people that sit… Read more »

rugby11
3 years ago

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SJF
SJF
3 years ago

Trump flipped a switch in him. He wants to run the United States like it should be run. Business-like and self-nation-like. How this relates to TRM? The Art of War. The 48 Laws of Power. The art of a guy that is self interested. Who has Frame. How refreshing to have a guy that is tall, masculine, AMOG, and can get the girls, and is unapologetic about it. A guy that can walk back CNN’s bullshit reporting. A guy that doesn’t disrespect the feminine. Hell, he is probably a purple pill alpha the way he he leaned into Melania in… Read more »

rugby11
3 years ago

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Agent P
Agent P
3 years ago

To quote a close family friend, a wife, last night around our dinner table while discussing the pussy march, “Face it, when it comes to women we want our cake and to eat it too. Most of us don’t want the work etc that goes with it (Feminism / working world, trying to compete with men), we’d rather be at home if we could to be with the kids.” Lots of unwitting RP realtalk from the ladies drawing a contrast between themselves and those at the march, and how they cannot openly share those views in our town / social… Read more »

Ofelas
Ofelas
3 years ago

Fred Flange:
Or there’s the option to learn to use them razors in some better fashion maybe..

https://youtu.be/8H4IB4H9PSk

https://youtu.be/4w3C0BOdtd4

Novaseeker
Novaseeker
3 years ago

There’s a theory going around Twitter about the vagina march that seems kind of legit. So many women were so confident that Hillary was going to be the first female president that they’d bought tickets to be at her inauguration for the making of history. Because it was too late to cancel these plans to be in DC switched from a ‘first woman president’ celebration to a ‘Women’s March’ against Donald Trump protest. After that it kind of snowballed into some global protest. Yep, for DC that is likely very true. Also the shock value — her supporters were shocked… Read more »

Agent P
Agent P
3 years ago

Great big enormous indignation engine just belched out a giant cloud of pink smoke this weekend, hear it rev!!

Novaseeker
Novaseeker
3 years ago

One aspect of the weekend’s events that was particularly amusing is the use of the word “resistance”. We no longer have an opposition party, we have a resistance movement, apparently, and the country is now “occupied”. It may be a subtle change of rhetoric, but it’s meaningful and, I think, reflects where we are at this specific moment in time. The country is already basically in a state of civil war, even though it isn’t a shooting war. It’s not a political dispute, there is no dialogue taking place, there are barricades being built, armies and resistances being built, and… Read more »

Höllenhund
3 years ago

So many women were so confident that Hillary was going to be the first female president that they’d bought tickets to be at her inauguration for the making of history. Because it was too late to cancel these plans to be in DC switched from a ‘first woman president’ celebration to a ‘Women’s March’ against Donald Trump protest.

Two months is probably more than enough time to cancel any such reservation and get a refund. Even a hotel room booking can be cancelled free of charge two months in advance.

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
3 years ago

“it already IS a feminine primary social order. The election changed nothing about that.” No doubt. Again, IMO the magnitude of time, talent and treasure required to maintain the FI is ultimately unsustainable. Think Gresham’s Law “bad money drives out good”. “Good money is money that shows little difference between its nominal value (the face value of the coin) and its commodity value.” RP rules are actionable, repeatable and do not lose value. Good money. “On the other hand, bad money is money that has a commodity value considerably lower than its face value and is in circulation along with… Read more »

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
3 years ago

“TRP is more like a nascent resistance movement, because in order for any resistance to actually take hold, it must be done from the bottom up and not from the top down.”

My point succinctly. Well put, Novaseeker.

rugby11
3 years ago

1. Leaders Embrace Extreme Ownership Extreme Ownership is the most important concept of this book, and it threads across the other lessons. It is a concept I have written about before in a post titled There are no Excuses, the Ball is in Your Court. And is one that we should apply to the business world. You can’t blame your products, your boss, your budget, the economy, competitors or your team for your success or failure. You are accountable for your success in your job, your career and your life. A true leader owns the outcome. When things go wrong,… Read more »

Höllenhund
3 years ago

Of course, the other hilarious thing is that it is really impossible for the mainstream — which is these pink pussy marchers — to be the resistance to itself. It’s hilarious to think that the entire establishment is a resistance movement. It’s because one has to be schizophrenic in order to fully internalize shitlib leftist ideology. One has to believe in contradictory dogmas. On one hand, leftists fancy themselves as a morally pure, intellectually superior, glorious revolutionary vanguard battling the mighty forces of darkness standing in the way of human salvation. On the other hand, they also firmly believe they… Read more »

stuffinbox
stuffinbox
3 years ago

Trumps executive order to repeal ACA doesn’t do much to rectify things,but is a good indication of what is to come next,back to the future. “The Affordable Care Act also mandates that insurance plans cover a set of services without charging for them (beyond monthly insurance premiums), but it’s up to HHS to lay out the specifics. For example, that part of the ACA that requires contraceptives be provided to insured women free of co-pays or deductibles? That’s not written in the law; it was part of how the law was interpreted by the Obama administration. By one estimate, that… Read more »

Höllenhund
3 years ago

@Novaseeker don’t hate women for wanting to be with attractive men, or feeling like they settled when they married you (because ther probably did). We should use words accurately here. Saying “woman X settled for man Y” implies that X had a real chance to find a husband better than Y, but was somehow blocked from doing so against her will. Let’s be clear – this has never been the norm. Patriarchy or no patriarchy, the average married woman has never had a real chance of finding a husband, or any long-term male companion, that is significantly more attractive than… Read more »

insanitybytes22
3 years ago

Forgive the interruption here guys, but in only 24 hours Trump got more chubby women out walking then Michelle Obama managed in 8 yrs! j/k Also within 24 hours, he wiped away our Obamacare fines. For our family, 4 grand in non insurance fines, while trying to pay premiums for insurance that covers nothing, while trying to pay medical bills that we incurred WHILE insured, has been a bloody nightmare that just crushed my husbands business, demolished our standard of living, and blew our credit out of the water. I can survive these things, but for my husband he has… Read more »

Forge the Sky
Forge the Sky
3 years ago

Hey Rollo, our very own Em has got herself in some trouble. Apparently some dude is using info from this comment

https://therationalmale.com/2016/01/01/empathy-2016/comment-page-6/#comment-134455

to stalk her or something. As far as I can tell she’s basically deleted herself from the internet but can’t get rid of that.

. Not sure how serious it is but she seems fairly distressed.

Blaximus
Blaximus
3 years ago

What’s that saying about laying with dogs and getting up with fleas?

recoveringpurple
recoveringpurple
3 years ago

Hey guys. Hope Tomassi sees this.

How did you all internalize TRP truths? I’ve always been a 50/50 blue/red guy and I want to be full RP. Just having some trouble fully internalizing and making these truths my beliefs.

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

Just having some trouble fully internalizing and making these truths my beliefs.

Fail forward more… you will get there.

recoveringpurple
recoveringpurple
3 years ago

Like I know understand on a logical level these truths are fact and that this is just how it is. Rather, I’m having trouble undermining this feminized mindset thats so deeply entrenched in my core beliefs. I get inner resistance when I try to get myself to believe them even though I know they are right.

recoveringpurple
recoveringpurple
3 years ago

I understand on a logical level that this is the right mode of thinking and beliefs. I just get inner resistance from the deeply entrenched feminized core beliefs I have whenever I try to change them.

Agent P
Agent P
3 years ago

Practice my son.

even just being aware that you are failing is a great step forward.

Then there is the other method everyone uses, fake it till you make it. Just go through the motions even if you don’t understand why, by the time you understand why, you won;t even perceive going through the motions anymore. It’s cool that way.

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

I understand on a logical level that this is the right mode of thinking and beliefs. I just get inner resistance from the deeply entrenched feminized core beliefs I have whenever I try to change them.

Find a girl who is “different”, be the bestest boyfriend in the whole wide world to her, have her cheat on you despite (or because) of all that…

a good place to start the pushing back process…

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

Recoveringpurple

http://blogfiles.wfmu.org/KF/2013/06/05/ricci_heart.gif

Advanced degree…

recoveringpurple
recoveringpurple
3 years ago

Sentient, theres no way I could ever consciously do that now. I literally cannot fathom doing it. I’ve never been like that even before RP. I would make myself sick

kfg
kfg
3 years ago

@recoveringpurple:

Start from where you are and go from there. The principle is the same.

You learn fire is hot when you stick your finger in it.

You learn that the way to keep your plane from plunging into the ground after a stall is to shove the stick forward and aim the plane at the ground by doing it.

With RP knowledge you know to gain some altitude first and try it until your hind brain is convinced it really works.

Novaseeker
Novaseeker
3 years ago

How did you all internalize TRP truths? I’ve always been a 50/50 blue/red guy and I want to be full RP. Just having some trouble fully internalizing and making these truths my beliefs. It takes time. You don’t have to like the truth at first, but you do have to develop a relationship of acceptance of it — you can’t change it, but you can change you. Give it time. 90% plus of guys take some time to get through to a place where they are accepting and working on themselves and not angry or conflicted. The 10% who are… Read more »

anon
anon
3 years ago

“Apparently some dude is using info from this comment”
(snip)
“As far as I can tell she’s basically deleted herself from the internet but can’t get rid of that.”

Whatever info can be gleaned from that comment, he already has.

anon
anon
3 years ago

Magic 8 ball says…jealous new boyfriend, not stalker.
She’s covering her tracks.
Smart girl.

Novaseeker
Novaseeker
3 years ago

Did he really get that much from the comment anyway? It seemed to me the basis was the picture she forgot to protect — and anyway, that’s odd, because that picture caused a lot of comments here, too, she had to know it would cause comments in a future BF or prospective BF, so why leave it unprotected? Anyway, all very odd, as usual.

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

Why leave the picture? It was such a good pic!!!!

Forge the Sky
Forge the Sky
3 years ago

@Anon

Hah! I mean, possible. But the post in question isn’t about an affair or anything so I dunno.

evidently the issue is that, as her full name is mentioned so many times in that post, it comes up as a google result when you search for her. Which is a problem when it’s a whole bunch of racism lol.

So she’s trying to get a hold of Rollo on Reddit.

anon
anon
3 years ago

Forge: ” But the post in question isn’t about an affair or anything so I dunno.” You or I wouldn’t know. I’m just going by the obvious fact that she already knows whomever is ostensibly “stalking her” has this information already…so she can’t truly be worried about that. So…she must be worried about someone else finding it. And, as Novaseeker mentions, there’s really “nothing there” (for those of us who don’t know her). So I must assume it’s someone she is intimate with that she is worried about. “evidently the issue is that, as her full name is mentioned so… Read more »

jake
3 years ago

@Rollo

Thanks for the Tales of Hypergamy link. I’m reading through the entire Empathy thread at the moment and just read where you said you have no time to hand-hold new blue pillers.
I’ve spent the last 3 days straight devouring everything I can on TRP, your site, CH, etc.. mustve missed it. so thanks for posting it

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
3 years ago

recoveringpurple I understand on a logical level that this is the right mode of thinking and beliefs. I just get inner resistance from the deeply entrenched feminized core beliefs I have whenever I try to change them. then Thanks for the Tales of Hypergamy link. I’m reading through the entire Empathy thread at the moment and just read where you said you have no time to hand-hold new blue pillers. I’ve spent the last 3 days straight devouring everything I can on TRP, your site, CH, etc.. mustve missed it. so thanks for posting it That right there is one… Read more »

jake
3 years ago

Thanks guys for all the opinions and advice. I was a pretty good natural when i was 13-17. Then my friend introduced me to PUA and it literally just destroyed my life whilst coupling with depression and other external circumstances. Im 24 now and it’s taken me a long time to get to this point. Still occasionally get laid, but its mostly drunk luck. I’m glad I’ve found this site. Seriously. I love my family but all of them are feminist, SJWs and my dad is the biggest beta ever. Most of my close friends are betas too. I’ve always… Read more »

Forge the Sky
Forge the Sky
3 years ago

“Then my friend introduced me to PUA and it literally just destroyed my life…’

https://therationalmale.com/2011/09/22/dream-girls-and-children-with-dynamite/

jake
3 years ago

^yup. spot on. it killed my natural game and quoting from Tales of Hypergamy,

“He and his concerns are not his mental point of origin and so don’t factor into his concept of what Game could be for him. It’s always energy and resources flowing out, rather than even having the temerity of thought to think that a woman’s effort should come to him”.

it just made seek external validation without realizing it whereas before my only thought process was what made me happy

Forge the Sky
Forge the Sky
3 years ago

@Jake

Yeah, if you talk much with the guys who have stuck with PUA for a long time – we had Scray and YaReally commenting here until recently as examples, and Tyler from RSD is still active on YouTube – you’ll notice that they put a looot of emphasis on mindset these days in addition to the technical stuff.

Handing someone a ton of power without the requisite character development is just asking for trouble.

comment image

pinelero
pinelero
3 years ago

Just read your post Marc. Glad you came back from the edge, and you are finding out about rp.

Yollo Comanche
Yollo Comanche
3 years ago

When men give up on the Myth of Male power, they find Male power. Or suicide.

Höllenhund
3 years ago

Switching to larger font was a good idea.

newlyaloof
3 years ago

@Rollo, hell yeah on the larger font.

@All, today is National Compliment Day. What a great open opportunity!

Agent P
Agent P
3 years ago

@largerfont
I thought I just slept particularly well.

rugby11
3 years ago
walawala
walawala
3 years ago

How to internalise all the Red Pill truths?

Live and experience interacting with women. You have to get out and mingle with women, start banging 5 new ones a month and then take notes of their reactions to your words and frame.

Then take note of your reactions to shit tests.

At first most of us are totally paranoid about each word thinking that if we say x that will flip the switch.

Red pill is an attitude and way of looking a male female interaction . Trial and error. Then take note of what you learned.

Agent P
Agent P
3 years ago

@rgbby
All blacks are fags, they’ll never go anywhere with that stupid Haka!

cheupez
3 years ago

@agent p

Hahahaaaaaa… I like the way they move their ass when they do the haka.

rugby11
3 years ago

Diversity
http://wp.me/p6SXrP-jlh

Keith
Keith
3 years ago

3rd wave femenist is a western globalized collective shit test. In reality feminist movement is as outdated as labor unions. Every aspect of grievance has been handled by fed or state law. To the point that these SJW ‘s don’t even know what they’re protesting or demonstrating for or against. 1967 we are woman hear us roar. 2017 we are woman give us free shit cause we’re to fat, ugly and lazy to catch a bata- bucks. Funny I think. These marches are a good example of the down side of hypergamy. Not everyone wins in the SMP

anon
anon
3 years ago

Keith, I’m not going to debate the utility of Unions, but I’d say they are not outdated…or, more accurately, “it depends”. Politics are local and everyone has their own little world of association. I’ve seen Unions save lives in the medical field. I’ve also seen them ruin companies (and Unions for government contracts…well, that’s another dark world altogether), Freedom of association and freedom of assembly are (ostensibly) Constitutional rights, but it should be non-coercive, and there lies the fly in the ointment. If there is no option to not join a union, it could hardly qualify as a matter of… Read more »

ollieoxenfree1
3 years ago

I liken the whole dead bedroom dynamic to what’s currently happening with the Dallas Cowboys, over Tony Romo. Romo has been a great servant to the club and put in some fine performances, but father time and injuries have left him in a situation where he can’t compete for a whole season. Which is how Dak Prescott got his chance. Prescott had a great rookie season, but more than likely won’t be the starting quarterback next season. This is because the Cowboy’s owner Jerry Jones sees Romo as a son. A prodigal son at that. Jones wants to win a… Read more »

rugby11
3 years ago

Agent P
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-YGHa0Me1u4
Yeah well hypergamy dosnt care about your opinion.

dr zipper
dr zipper
3 years ago

not sure what to make of it but kinda funny anyway:

http://thenextweb.com/insider/2017/01/25/pornhub-womens-march-porn-traffic/

Forge the Sky
Forge the Sky
3 years ago

@anon It’s not just unions. All governmental and civil policy is deeply subject to context and execution. In a small society where everyone knows each other, even socialism can work well. This is half of why I’d shred the power of the Federal government if I could. It was only designed to coordinate cooperation between states, not rule them. Without that rule, states would be far better to adapt policies to their specific circumstances. As well, there would be competition between various policy visions, priorities, and ways of life; we’d have competition of ideas between states. One could be, for… Read more »

ollieoxenfree1
3 years ago

A good film which touches upon the theme raised in my last post is ‘The Unbearable Lightness of Being’.

pinelero
pinelero
3 years ago

“1967 we are woman hear us roar. 2017 we are woman give us free shit cause we’re to fat, ugly and lazy to catch a bata- bucks. Funny I think. These marches are a good example of the down side of hypergamy. Not everyone wins in the SMP”

LOL!

kfg
kfg
3 years ago

In its original construction the United States of America was specifically organized so that it was not a nation state. And then along came its Reconstruction. Despite more than 100 years of Federal effort there still remain aspects of the confederation of states. I currently live in one of the most gun restrictive states of the Union, but, on a clear day, if I ride up to the top of the hill, literally within sight of the least restrictive and have frequently traverse the border. Making the move residential again is one of those things that can be easier postulated… Read more »

Forge the Sky
Forge the Sky
3 years ago

Speaking of kek, I only learned yesterday that there was an ancient Egyptian god named Kek who was a god of chaos and darkness, and who was considered to herald the coming of light and order. Holy shit, am I in a simulation or something? -Slang term for laughing/cackling from asia – ‘kekeke,’ gets shortened to ‘kek’ -Seemingly randomly, some popular video game scrambles opposing team’s messages so you can’t read them. Scrambles the dark/evil side’s messages such that ‘lol’ gets seen as ‘kek’ to the light side. -Becomes slang on dark side of the internet for dark amusement, and… Read more »

If-I-Fell
If-I-Fell
3 years ago

I understand that Rollo uses terminology to pack some complex ideas into a shorthand that readers can understand. However, I am concerned that the term “genuine desire” may not be the best shorthand for this phenomenon and may lead some readers to seek a blue pill fantasy-state through game. Per Rollo’s writings, “genuine desire” is an Alpha Fucks, unconscious, sometimes irrational desire a woman has for a man. This AF state is some almost magical combination of the man’s physical appeal, his communications, his sub-communications, her sense of her SMV, and her belief that she must not miss this opportunity.… Read more »

SJF
SJF
3 years ago

@Ollie “Our biology weren’t meant to tolerate these conditions. Especially with a woman who will constantly shit test you and emasculate you, in every conceivable way she can divine. A woman will invariably condemn you for your weakness, but expect understanding for hers.” “A good film which touches upon the theme raised in my last post is ‘The Unbearable Lightness of Being’.” Sure it touches on those themes, but draws a different conclusion to your analogy. I’m not sure you saw the same movie I did. It was actually the exact opposite as you describe. In the Movie, Tomas sleeps… Read more »

Forge the Sky
Forge the Sky
3 years ago

“Despite more than 100 years of Federal effort there still remain aspects of the confederation of states.” Thank goodness for that! I can barely imagine the corruption that would accrue in a system which had power over a power such as the United States. There’s been an uptick in ‘state patriotism’ where I’m from. I like it better than American patriotism, which is less about a love of a certain sort of geography, food, beer, work and so on – everyday things – and has to generalize to eagles and flags to stay relevant. “Perhaps good living has just made… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

If-I-Fell

it is my suspicion that it is more attributable to a woman’s fear of loss of resources than her capitulating to the man’s retooled Alpha persona.

This might have made sense in 1850 or 1959, but today all we hear about is the divorce raping cash and prizes a woman gets via leaving her beta… so there is low fear of loss of provision… and that is putting aside that she very likely has her own income stream.

Women fear loss of attention. Cat string theory in action.

kfg
kfg
3 years ago

” . . . has to generalize to eagles and flags to stay relevant.”

The American Nation is essentially the invention of George M. Cohan.

When I am not flying the black flag I tend to favor this one:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flag_of_New_England#/media/File:New_England_pine_flag.svg

Depicted here:

comment image

SJF
SJF
3 years ago

@ If-I-Fell

No doubt that dynamic can and does exist.

And Rollo discussed it here (and the comments section was good if anyone is interested in the topic):

https://therationalmale.com/2014/02/23/beta-fucks/

So, it brings up the eternal red pill/game question: What are you going to do about that?

I’m just glad God made Bell Curves and I can shimmy down to two standard deviations beyond the mean on that one.

kfg
kfg
3 years ago

“Our hindbrains weren’t designed for this.”

The psychological problem in dealing with bureaucrats and lawyers is that we aren’t allowed to deal with them as the leopards our hindbrains know they really are and just beat them to death in a red mist frenzy.

Yet.

dr zipper
dr zipper
3 years ago

@If & Sent:

you both may be right but the distinction being that Sentient’s assertion applies when the woman is consciously pondering her man’s new ‘upped alpha’ state and considering her options

If-I-Fell’s point rests on what’s happening in her unconscious/reptile mind and the discord between her man’s new AB/BB balance that has changed from what she’s come to expect until now

ollieoxenfree1
3 years ago

@SJF

Your quote
“It was actually the exact opposite as you describe.”

How so?

anon
anon
3 years ago

“The psychological problem in dealing with bureaucrats and lawyers is that we aren’t allowed to deal with them as the leopards our hindbrains know they really are and just beat them to death in a red mist frenzy.”

Or even “pistols at ten paces”.

If-I-Fell
If-I-Fell
3 years ago

The term “genuine” denotes that something is real. We expect that if something is real, it will not become unreal. @Sentient The point I was making was that the weighting of Alpha versus Beta may be more on the Beta side than we would like to imagine. I think that divorce rape is more of a social convention based on greed than on hind-brain Alpha or Beta motivators. I agree with your cat string theory statement. I will just add that the attention has to be perceived as Alpha by the woman to be desired. @SJF Thanks, I will go… Read more »

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