The Existential Fear – Men

You need to understand WOMEN HATE BETAS in fact they hate them so much that they would prefer to work soul destroying jobs to support themselves than attach themselves to a Beta provider that wants to fuck them and impregnate them with his shitty beta genetics.

Incubus Rising

This was a comment that I meant to include in last week’s essay, but I’m glad I saved it for today’s article. It serves as a good starting point for men’s Existential Fear. If there’s one buzz-term that’s been bandied around by women since the rise of feminism it is “fear“. Men fear this. Men fear that. Men feel “threatened” by a strong woman. More recently it’s, “Men fear working with women today over concerns of workplace sexual misconduct.” So, I want to state here from the outset that I’m using the term fear in both these essays for lack of a better one. But what really gets the point across?

“Rollo, why does it destroy my soul to imagine my ex-wife / ex-girlfriend banging another man? I can’t sleep because I’m imagining her giving up herself sexually to a new guy.”

Some variation of this question is something I get a lot from guys I counsel who are going through a breakup or divorce. Sometimes it’s from men who’ve been separated from the woman for a long time. This is to be expected from Blue Pill conditioned men, but even guys who are Red Pill Aware will still feel the rage of infidelity even after the breakup has been official for years. Guys will tell me they wont even go out socially or associate with friends so as not to be in the same space as their ex for fear that they would do something rash if they saw her with another guy. There’s just something in their DNA that’s unsettling about imagining their ex giving herself willingly to another man – and they’re conflicted because the fem-centric world tells him he’s “insecure in his masculinity” for his possessiveness.

I can remember the same anxiety after I’d mercifully split from my BPD girlfriend. Even years after it was all over I’d still have nightmarish dreams about her. What the hell was that all about? What is our subconscious trying to get across to us with this?…

“Why am I so jealous and suspicious of my wife / girlfriend cheating on me? Should I feel bad that I root through her texts and IMs? Am I just ‘insecure in my masculinity’ if I feel like that? Why am I so possessive?”

This is another common one I get from men I counsel. I detailed a bit of this in Gut Check. Our subconscious mind has a way of warning us when our ‘aware’ mind is unaware of, or ignoring, the inconsistencies in our peripheral awareness. We’re actually much more aware of our environment than we appreciate, we simply refuse to acknowledge these inconsistencies. More often than not that denial is conditioned into us for purposes that aren’t always in our best interests. And sometimes it’s outright manipulative of male nature.

In Gut Check I related a time in my life where I had instinctively been suspicious of my wife because my instinctual awareness turned on the warning lights in my head. I had no rational reason to believe my wife was cheating on me, but I had a very real, evolutionary, reason that my instinctive mind would be suspicious of infidelity. Millennia of evolution has written anti-cheating failsafes into our mental firmware.

“Why are DNA tests illegal in some countries? Why is it illegal for a doctor or their staff to tell a “father” that the child he thinks is his own really isn’t biologically his? Why do we legally protect women’s cuckoldry?”

More and more we are seeing feminine-primary social conventions and legislation crop up that can only have one purpose – the systemic disempowerment and disenfranchisement of men’s interests in the reproductive process. The cover story for this Removing of the Man from any semblance of reproductive authority is what I call the Cult of the Child. I’ll be publishing a full essay on this soon, but the short version is that anything that serves women’s sexual strategy is always deemed to be “in the best interests of the child.” The interests of children has become the shield of what is really the interests of women’s sexual strategy.

For decades now, feminist ideology has successfully convinced most western societies that what serves the female reproductive interests is always what serves the a child’s interests. Men are superfluous at best, and pose a danger to the child at worst. This presumption is rooted in the Duluth Model of feminism, but women’s sexual strategy always comes at the cost of the reproductive interests of the man/father. I wrote about this in Children of Men. There is an open war on paternity today, but as with all intersexual conflict we need to look deeper to determine what the latent purpose of that conflict is all about. What interests are served in unilaterally disenfranchising men from the reproductive process?

Existential Fear

The answer to all of these questions finds their root in men’s Existential Fear – All men have an evolved need to determine and ensure his paternity.

Ascertaining paternity, and ensuring his parental investment is vested in perpetuating his genetic legacy, is the prime directive of men’s existence. This is a male imperative that virtually all higher order animals share.

Despite what many blank-slate academics still promote, men and women are different. Contemporary thinkers would have us believe the sexes are more alike than not, but the truth of it is we are different in fundamental ways that most equalists are uncomfortable admitting. Yes, we are the same species, but the fact remains that our differences, and in particular our sexual strategies, conflict in profound ways.

The Cardinal Rule of Sexual Strategies:
For one gender’s sexual strategy to succeed the other
gender must compromise or abandon its own.

In last week’s essay I outlined the the Existential Fear women hold in their evolved unconscious – that of the Hypergamous doubt. “Is this guy the best I can do?” is the question that their hindbrains ask. Since the time of the Sexual Revolution, and the systemic Fempowerment that followed, women have collectively used this authority to ensure the preeminence of their sexual strategy (Hypergamy) in our social order. I outlined many of the resulting social changes we see were the result of this in last week’s post, but this preeminence came at the cost of men’s interests and influence in the larger, meta-conflict of the Cardinal Rule of Sexual Strategies.

Men’s evolved reproductive interest is very simple; ensure that the child a woman bears to him is his actually his own. Up until the last 60 or so years patriarchy, true, legitimate patriarchy has always been the order of society. Despite the ignorance of feminists protesting it, patriarchy has been a beneficial aspect of our advancement as a species since we formed tribal hunter-gatherer bands millennia ago. But that patriarchy depended on a simple doubt that formed men’s base sexual strategy – ensure his genes were passed into the next generation.

There are two ways a man can achieve this outcome. In The New Polyandry I explained men’s Strategic Pluralism Theory:

According to strategic pluralism theory (Gangestad & Simpson, 2000), men have evolved to pursue reproductive strategies that are contingent on their value on the mating market. More attractive men accrue reproductive benefits from spending more time seeking multiple mating partners and relatively less time investing in offspring. In contrast, the reproductive effort of less attractive men, who do not have the same mating opportunities, is better allocated to investing heavily in their mates and offspring and spending relatively less time seeking additional mates.

Essentially, men follow an ‘r’ or ‘K’ reproductive strategy according to their (perceived) sexual market value (SMV). Since a majority of men fall on the low SMV side of the reproductive equation social conventions that served those men’s reproductive interests had to be developed and standardized. The resolution of men’s Existential Fear needed to be instituted and standardized to ensure the largest number of men could be relatively certain that the children they sired were indeed their own.

A lot is made of women’s reproductive costs in academia. In a fem-centric social order it pays to focus on women’s suffrage/victimhood narrative. But, men bear reproductive costs in this equation as well. Men’s biological imperative is unlimited access to unlimited sexuality. Our best shot at sending our genes into the next generation is ‘spreading the seed’. Our biological hardware is made to do just this, but there are costs and obstacles to solving the reproductive problem. And the easiest solution for men has always been exercise their direct control over women’s sexual strategy. Imposing our natural strength (in many forms) on women has historically ensured that it’s women who were the ones to compromise their sexual strategy in favor of men.

Patriarchy & Monogamy

Socially enforced monogamy was the least barbaric of those compromises, but in this century destroying that monogamy has been a priority for the Feminine Imperative. In theory, socially enforced monogamy was the most beneficial mating strategy for largest number of (low SMV) men to solve their reproductive problem. But the fact remained that it was still an exercise of control over women’s Hypergamous natures. In essence, monogamy worked for men, and it was beneficial as a compromise in parental investment for women, but it also assumed direct a control over women’s sexual selection process.

Patriarchy and monogamy answered a woman’s Hypergamous doubt for her, and that is the crux of women’s Existential Fear – to have the control of her Hypergamy, her selection process, and ultimately the cost associated with that choice determined for her. This fear is exactly why the primary goal of feminism has always been the maximal unlimiting of women’s sexuality and the maximal restricting of men’s sexuality. It seeks to replace the social-scale compromise of the Cardinal Rule of Sexual Strategies with the total capitulation of the male strategy. Today, the Gynocracy has achieved this almost entirely.

But for one sex’s strategy to succeed, the other’s must be compromised or abandoned. For a gynocentric social order, only men’s abandonment of their own strategy is acceptable – and this abandonment insists men deny the evolved imperative of their own Existential Fear – insisting on paternity.

In the evolved scheme of things men’s reproductive best interest involves sacrifices. When a man commits to parental investment with a woman he takes on sunk cost risks. The time he spends investing himself committed to one woman and the children they produce comes at the cost of reproductive opportunities with other women. Women’s sexual strategy necessitates he compromise or abandon his biological imperative. Naturally, both men and women have adapted ways to circumvent monogamy to optimize their sexual strategies (infidelity, short-term breeding schema), but the basic equation is the same; if a man is invested in one woman it limits him from seeking other (potentially better) reproductive opportunities. If you want to know why Plate Theory irks women so much look no further.

The only way this compromise of sexual strategy can be advantageous to men is if he can be relatively assured that the child he’s raising is his own. This is where men’s Existential Fear of paternity fraud begins. He cedes his own strategy and the sunk opportunity cost for reproduction in exchange for the certainty that he’s invested in a child that bears his name and his blood.

I call this men’s Existential Fear because denying men the certainty of paternity presents the same existential anxieties as a woman’s control of Hypergamous doubt taken from her. Women fear the idea of being forced to birth and raise the child of a suboptimal man not of her choosing, while men fear the idea of being deceived into raising a child not of their own genetic lineage. And until the advent of DNA testing only a woman could be certain that the child was her own.

This is root level stuff here. So important was the determination of paternity for men that an obsessive concern for it was written into our mental firmware. The risks of falling for paternity deception was that important, and the men who evolved this compulsion were selected-for. The reason we Mate Guard, the reason our hindbrains default to jealous suspicions, the reason we cannot bear the thought of another man mating with our woman is rooted in the fear of investing ourselves in a child not our own.

In the previous essay I mentioned the natural revulsion response humans have towards things that are inherently harmful to us. A reservation or revulsion of snakes, spiders, feces, rot and necrosis are part of the evolved firmware we’re born with. I would also argue that the revulsion women feel towards “creepy” (low SMV, Beta) men and the revulsion men feel towards “slutty” women is part of this. Both these revulsions are adaptational protections against our respective Existential Fears. Each represents our Instinctual Interpretive Process letting us know what our ancestors had to avoid.

The Mentor

“But Rollo, isn’t it a noble thing to adopt or mentor a child that is not your own?”

I get this response a lot when I discuss this, and yes, it absolutely can be when the choice to do so is of your own making. In fact, the reason adoption/mentoring seems such a noble undertaking is exactly because it requires a man to repress his natural concern for his ow paternity. Kinship affinity will always play a role in men and women’s relationships with the next generation. Human beings are innately tribal and familial because tribalism promotes the advancement of selected genes. So repressing this innate predisposition is exceptional, maybe even noble depending on the social context, but it is so because it requires a man to ignore his natural wiring. For what it’s worth, I think multi-generational mentorship in Red Pill awareness is going to be a new imperative in the coming decades.

It’s just this pushing past our natural, evolved, concerns about paternity that’s been the operative dynamic of the Feminine Imperative in consolidating power. The human revulsion response can be molded. Usually this is through some form of operant conditioning. Revulsion can even be conditioned to be associated with pleasure. The Feminine Imperative has been remolding men’s evolved need for paternity to its own ends for some time now.

The popularization of ‘Poly Relationships is one of the more recent redirects of men’s paternity need. As I mentioned above, the goal state of the Feminine Imperative is ensuring that women’s sexual strategy – and anything that foments it – is the socially ‘correct‘ imperative. Men must become more like women if they want to be accepted by a social order defined by women’s experiences. Men’s sexual strategy is only acceptable when it serves a woman’s purpose, so men’s existential imperative of ensuring paternity is always going to be in conflict with women’s strategy. A man insisting on his own paternity and the perpetuation of his name is in direct conflict with women ensuring she chooses to breed with the best specimen and be provided for by the best male she can lock down.

This being the mechanics of it, it comes as no surprise that the social conventions of this era encourage men to abandon that evolved need. We make “heroes” of men who marry the single mother and assume the parental investment costs of the man she chose to breed with. A fem-centric society makes this a noble responsibility – “He Manned Up for the loser who wouldn’t take that responsibility” – all while ignoring the simple fact that this ‘hero’ is only completing women’s Hypergamous imperative. And it’s come to the point that a man abandoning his sexual strategy is part of women’s expectations and entitlements of Beta men.

For the men who insist on their own strategy, the message is one of shame. Only a man who’s “insecure in his masculinity” would think that a child would need to be his own. In fact, the very title of “father” is offensive to a social order based fulfilling women’s imperatives. Father’s Day must become, ‘special persons’ day‘. Men should never insist that a wife assume his last name. And of course, DNA testing to determine paternity (even in light of life threatening illness) is to be discouraged if not outlawed.

Now You Know

In The War on Paternity I explored a lot of the ways our feminine-primary social order ensures women’s sexual strategy stays the operative one. Our divorce laws, our child support and custody laws all center on one thing – making sure women’s imperatives supersede men’s need for paternity certainty. Even when a child is not biologically a man’s, he has no right to know the truth, but he has every expectation to be financially and emotionally responsible for the “best interests of the child.”

Going forward I think the Red Pill aware man must embrace his existential need for paternity – and do so fearlessly. If a new beneficent patriarchy is to take root then men will need to reject the social conventions that insist a woman’s sexual strategy be the preeminent one. I think mentorship of the next generations of young men should also be emphasized, but I think this needs to be a conscious decision of the men doing so. Today we have the decision to be a ‘cuckold’ made for us proactively and retroactively by women and a feminine-primary social narrative. If you’re an adoptive father then I salute you, but understand, at least you had the decision to make yourself. Most men’s decisions to be the step-dad only amounts to him acquiescing to supporting the decisions of women. 43% of births today are out of wedlock, either electively or based on a bad decision by that mother. We also call single mothers ‘heroes’.

My advice to men today is to be aware of the game you’re involved in with respect to how your need to know paternity is being used against you. That need is well known to the Feminine Imperative and has always been a threat to its interests. Make your own decisions to mentor based on that knowledge and never marry a single mother. If you do so understand that your sacrifices of this paternity need will never be appreciated by women. You may believe it’s the “right thing to do”, the moral choice, but in doing so you absolve both the woman who made her decision for you and the biological father of their total responsibility (and the underlying evolutionary reasons) to consequences of that decision.

Remember,…

WOMEN HATE BETAS in fact they hate them so much that they would prefer to work soul destroying jobs to support themselves than attach themselves to a Beta provider that wants to fuck them and impregnate them with his shitty beta genetics.

Are you really willing to accept that your paternity need counts for so little? Are you willing to accept this truth and fulfill a woman’s life strategy in spite of it because you believe it’s your moral imperative to do so?

5 1 vote
Article Rating

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

Speak your mind

477 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Sentient
Sentient
2 years ago

ASD

“But I’ve accomplished far more in my situation than you have in yours”

Such as what? Your soon to be adopted granddaughter? Go on… I’m all ears.

theasdgamer
2 years ago

What I personally do on online forums is that I quickly decide if someone worth talking to. So you’ve never changed your mind about someone’s ideas after a lengthy convo? For me, Blax is worth discussing with because he has eventually taken my point after lengthy discussions and he has enriched my position as well (and Blax shows the importance of being genial, which is another reason I enjoy reading his cornucopia of comments). HABD, too, on all counts. Maybe others, but I can’t recall. Some commenters have provided helpful info, including kfg. Scribs’ comments show that the Red Pill… Read more »

theasdgamer
2 years ago

“But I’ve accomplished far more in my situation than you have in yours”

Such as what? Your soon to be adopted granddaughter? Go on… I’m all ears.

Thanks for playing.

2017 Mrs. Gamer came around

2018 Daughter Gamer came around

2019 Baby Gamer came around; SIL is beginning to come around; I persuaded DG to not divorce SIL

…from what I have seen of your situation, you have a bunch of STRs and no grandchildren

HF
HF
2 years ago

@asdgamer

Maybe i didn’t articulate myself properly. I have no problem talking with people who sees the world differently then me, quite the opposite. Talking with clever people is always a great opportunity, especially if they have different opinions/views.

On the other hand, talking to e.g. delusional people is a waste of time.

theasdgamer
2 years ago

Talking with clever people is always a great opportunity, especially if they have different opinions/views. On the other hand, talking to e.g. delusional people is a waste of time. There are plenty of clever, deluded people in the world. On some topics they may have useful comments, but on others not so much. The young tend to be more deluded than the old because judgment + experience gives a man better perspective to find out what nonsense he has imbibed and get rid of it. Still, the young may have useful ideas/info on occasion. Sometimes older folks haven’t done their… Read more »

theasdgamer
2 years ago

Hoover, did it really help to not name names? lol, as if we couldn’t figure out the players… …but there are bigger things going on, which I’ve alluded to–e.g. the Feminine Imperative, which Rollo blogs about, incidentally–there are others such as anti-natalism and r/K selection theory which impact men and their choices… …those of us who are fathers want our sons and sons-in-law to be red pill and that always requires work…and turning your sons on to the red pill requires being engaged in a family…so r selection is a fail for that…not wanting to have kids is a fail… Read more »

theasdgamer
2 years ago

When a son is 21, his father is deluded…

when a son is 30, he is amazed at how clever his father has become…

HF
HF
2 years ago

…those of us who are fathers want our sons and sons-in-law to be red pill and that always requires work…and turning your sons on to the red pill requires being engaged in a family…so r selection is a fail for that…not wanting to have kids is a fail for your genes…

I didn’t follow your SIL saga fully, but weren’t you the one who wanted to kick him to the curb? And only after everyone here ganged on you did you start helping him properly?

HF
HF
2 years ago

I remember now. You consider your SIL a spermdonor, who did his thing so he can fuck off and let your daughter be a happy single mother.

theasdgamer
2 years ago

I didn’t follow your SIL saga fully, but weren’t you the one who wanted to kick him to the curb? I didn’t want to, but I expected that he wouldn’t accept the Red Pill because very few men will do so…without the Red Pill, he will get kicked to the curb by Daughter Gamer and essentially be just a sperm donor…she has set a time limit on some Red Pill changes he needs to make…(gonna get pushback over her setting the frame, lol, but really it’s my frame which DG bought into)…right now he’s living in his van (for a… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 years ago

Van?

Down by the river?

kfg
kfg
2 years ago

“…she has set a time limit on some Red Pill changes he needs to make…”

Yoke back up and get back to pulling?

“…right now he’s living in his van (for a week, so far)…he could go back to his folks and live in a house for free.”

Sounds like he values his independence very highly. The more detail you add, the more I like him. About all that’s left is for him to tell DG she needs to move her ass into the van with him or she’s kicked to the curb.

theasdgamer
2 years ago

Van?

Down by the river?

He’s not cool enough for a Blue Chevy van.

“…she has set a time limit on some Red Pill changes he needs to make…”

Yoke back up and get back to pulling?

No more feminine emotional storms from SIL.

Get a mission and work.

Etc.

Sounds like he values his independence very highly.

Since DG stopped paying for the house he was living in, yeah.

The more detail you add, the more I like him.

You like lazy girlie-men? Hmm.

kfg
kfg
2 years ago

“No more feminine emotional storms from SIL.”

Q.E.D.

IRL
IRL
2 years ago

I posted something but seems stuck in mod… characters limit?

HF
HF
2 years ago

But to share something related to the OP: this is something I can’t relate to. Probably because I have no kids yet. I’m not afraid of cheating itself. It could happen of course, but I would just dump my LTR, improve my game and get a younger hotter one. What I do afraid of is if I judge myself realistically or not. I was raised as a beta, and I started my transformation a couple of years ago. I think I got it now, but hard to see myself as alpha, especially if I compare myself to some of the… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
2 years ago

According to some lazy feminist at Quillette, Rollo is a Men’s Rights Advocate.
Learn something new every day…

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 years ago

HF Earlier in the comments Anonymous Reader mentioned pattern recognition. Imo, one part of a man’s burden if he is in any way marriage/children oriented, is that the ” dating ” thing isn’t only about going out, having fun and having sex. Once you understand the nature of women and accept it with no exceptions, your job is a little easier. You will recognize the patterns in nano seconds. Before having children it’s imperative that one tests and tests and see patterns. Negative patterns are humongous red flags and if a man makes the choice to go forward even though… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 years ago

HF Earlier in the comments Anonymous Reader mentioned pattern recognition. Imo, one part of a man’s burden if he is in any way marriage/children oriented, is that the ” dating ” thing isn’t only about going out, having fun and having sex. Once you understand the nature of women and accept it with no exceptions, your job is a little easier. You will recognize the patterns in nano seconds. Before having children it’s imperative that one tests and tests and see patterns. Negative patterns are humongous red flags and if a man makes the choice to go forward even though… Read more »

Revolution is inevitable
Revolution is inevitable
2 years ago

The idea of the “beta male” triumphing has long been a sort of hollywood trope, given that males who tend to go into directing and writing tend to be beta and/or jewish. However there are limits to this. Female wiring cannot be changed so easily, which is why they go gaga over hallmark movies, soap operas and tv shows etc., which are all based on the premise of the alphas competing for her attention, which is what she desires. But this brings home the point that relentless, terminal competition between men for merely the access to females is now the… Read more »

Novaseeker
Novaseeker
2 years ago

as well as male “hypergamy” to a certain extent – we all want the hot, young, bodacious model types Ah this misunderstanding again. Optimization is not hypergamy. Everyone tries to optimize and wants to optimize. That is — everyone’s attraction “ceiling” is sky high. That isn’t what hypergamy is about. Hypergamy is about the attraction floor — how low will you go relative to your own SMV before it becomes unattractive. Women’s attraction floor is above their own SMV — that’s what hypergamy is, being attracted “upward” only. Women are barely attracted (often simply not attracted) to men of their… Read more »

theasdgamer
2 years ago

Revolution: relentlessly show good looking alphas …like Charles Bronson or Lee Marvin or Bob Hope?… …alphas all, but not good looking I think that you are just looking for an excuse to quit trying to improve yourself. Blax: Women are biologically attracted to alpha ( fuck what they ” say “) Last night, I missed this on one level, yet didn’t on another. A woman I know said that her friends had left the bar for the night and she wanted me to stay near her so that she wouldn’t look alone. Well, I wasn’t there to be a cardboard… Read more »

Culum Struan
Culum Struan
2 years ago

Mostly agree with OMGs despite not being one in the discussion with @j – a lot of it is a rerun of the Looks Debate that @j and I exhausted a couple of threads ago, and I said what I wanted to say there. But I will add one thing on a point where I (kinda) agree with @j – the whole “things have changed in 2019” discussion (same discussion that YaReally had although I didn’t understand this as well back then. I hate to sound very Zen, but both perspectives are true in their own way. It’s not one… Read more »

ex-cartoonist
2 years ago

Last week I got together with my ex-wife and son to celebrate his twenty-first birthday. And, after reading Rollo’s essay on women’s existential fear, I see her in a completely different light. Listening to her, I realised that the inner voice which whispered to her ‘Is this the best that I can get?’ has all but ruled her life. Not only with men, but with her career, the places she’s lived, even the self-help programmes she’s occasionally followed. All kinds of things. The irony is that I was the loser in the divorce, certainly in terms of child custody and… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
2 years ago

kfg

“Van down by the river”

Straight out of Free Solo (no not Hope)
comment image
comment image

Majmun
Majmun
2 years ago

Rollo or anybody else here please help me with this. I have social competence of a brick. If my looks (average or less) don’t manage to get me a girl (judging by all of the stuff i read here, it wont), all is lost for me. Now the only 2 things that can help me is gym and money. About money i have no clue on how to become anything i tried studying “clean energy technologies” college course but it turned it was all such pure distilled nonsense its beyond belief, although my country is Serbia sooo i guess its… Read more »

Majmun
Majmun
2 years ago

Just checking to see, if my wall of text got bugged or something, since i cant see it in the comments.

Majmun
Majmun
2 years ago

Well i hope Rollo you can see it

theasdgamer
2 years ago

In the news, a record number of young men are celibate…women are still fucking…

But among the 23 percent of adults — or nearly 1 in 4 — who spent the year in a celibate state, a much larger than expected number of them were twentysomething men, according to the latest data from the General Social Survey.

https://www.sltrib.com/news/nation-world/2019/03/29/share-americans-not/

Sentient
Sentient
2 years ago

ASD

“…from what I have seen of your situation, you have a bunch of STRs and no grandchildren”

Yeah. Been married almost 30 years now hoss. 5 kids. Oldest girl is married in a few months at 27.

So no grandkids yet. No doubt I will have a whole heap… Lol.

You left out the parts of your story where your other daughter is estranged… And your #1 daughter was a virgin until 35… And the whole shitstorm of you r SIL…

These are not good facts.

Lost Patrol
Lost Patrol
2 years ago

ex-cartoonist

Listening to her, I realised that the inner voice which whispered to her ‘Is this the best that I can get?’ has all but ruled her life. Not only with men, but with her career, the places she’s lived, even the self-help programmes she’s occasionally followed. All kinds of things.

That’s not just her. A main friction point (THE main?) between men and women is women’s almost perpetual dissatisfaction, against men’s propensity to be too easily satisfied. Look and listen for it, it’s everywhere.

theasdgamer
2 years ago

Yeah. Been married almost 30 years now hoss. 5 kids. Oldest girl is married in a few months at 27. Getting close to the Wall. Fertility is still in question, as is her likelihood of avoiding divorce. STDs and alpha widowhood can wreak havoc. No offense, just looking at this clinically. Early marriage is far preferable. My situation started in the shitter when I found the Red Pill and has been moving in the right direction. I’m happy with it, but it’s a work in progress. Virgin at 35 isn’t a problem if a girl is attractive and fertile. Different… Read more »

Novaseeker
Novaseeker
2 years ago

A main friction point (THE main?) between men and women is women’s almost perpetual dissatisfaction, against men’s propensity to be too easily satisfied. Look and listen for it, it’s everywhere. Yes — absolutely the case, and the thing that creates most of the problems in LTRs/marriages. Men, for our part, are far too prone to need very little, be satisfied with very little, and so on. Women are the reverse. But the thing men have to keep in mind is that their own propensity to be easily satisfied/low needs and so on is both (1) an attraction killer (seen by… Read more »

Novaseeker
Novaseeker
2 years ago

Whoops — that should say … as Sent’s paradigm shows …. got two posters confused there since there were two comments right next to each other …

Sentient
Sentient
2 years ago

ASD

“STDs and alpha widowhood can wreak havoc. No offense, just looking at this clinically. ”

Your not lookimg at anything “clinically” your just spouting shit out of your ass as you do non stop.

For example, she’s dated only her fiancee since Freshman year.

But do go on… 😉

Sentient
Sentient
2 years ago

Nova “if the guy is so easy going and is so easily satisfied, how can he really be that focused on my best interests…” Well that’s where Rollo’s “new polyandry” comes in…😂😂😂 Met a woman out at a bar recently. Happy hour. She had a pretty face but 30 lbs too much. Late 30s. Came in saying she’s been working on her husband’s taxes all week. Needed to step away and decompress. Has two elementary school age kids at home. Said her husband makes bank and is a “really laid back chill guy”… Anyhow convo goes on for 15 minutes… Read more »

ex-cartoonist
2 years ago

@ Novaseeker There is another aspect about the ‘satisfaction friction point’ which I personally experienced: When the man’s ambition is so strong, it competes with the woman’s stated ‘needs’. When I first met the woman who became my wife and mother of my child, I had the ambition to be a published writer/cartoonist. This turned her on big time. She loved being with an ambitious man. However, when we got married and our son was born, she wanted me to give up being a freelance (even though I was being regularly published by this time) and get a ‘stable’ job.… Read more »

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
2 years ago

“Getting close to the Wall. Fertility is still in question, as is her likelihood of avoiding divorce. STDs and alpha widowhood can wreak havoc. No offense, just looking at this clinically.” ASD….everyone seees your lame attempt to buttress your ego by trashing Sentient’s daughter. It’s trashy, beneath you, and you….and I mean you, ASD, have a moment to reinvent yourself for you benefit primarily and those around you by osmosis. This convo isn’t about daughters and micromanaging another life, as much as you’d like to make it so. Sentient does not own his children nor mooches her success as his… Read more »

Novaseeker
Novaseeker
2 years ago

She says it’s ok her husband is ok with it. As long as the guy isn’t married… Then she laughs and says but this guy is… Ooops…

So there you go. Don’t be too chill!

Haha. Always amazes me when guys think they can openly agree to that and have everything go just fine … lol.

theasdgamer
2 years ago

EI, the only things you and Sentient can Sherpa in is downing shots. lol Neither one of you has a scintilla of calibration. Zip. Zero. Nada.

theasdgamer
2 years ago

For example, she’s dated only her fiancee since Freshman year.

GNOs…”J, meet Sentient’s daughter”

None of the Gamer women do GNOs. The Lost Lamb used to after she moved out of our house, but she’s been shacked up with her bf in Bumfuck for the last few years and there’s no night life there.

Sentient
Sentient
2 years ago

“GNOs…”J, meet Sentient’s daughter””

Again you demonstrate you know nothing…

How’s your Mandarin? You may want to stop digging…

See I’ve raised my kids… Which is why I’ve avoided the clusterfucks you did not. Take the note…

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
2 years ago

“the only things you and Sentient can Sherpa in is downing shots.”

Beer and cigars too. I’m no one-trick pony.

theasdgamer
2 years ago

See I’ve raised my kids… Which is why I’ve avoided the clusterfucks you did not. Take the note…

Mine were out of the house before Rollo started writing. Get that hearing aid your wife bugs you about.

How’s your Mandarin?

I guess western players don’t go to Asia and none of the trillion who speak Mandarin are players. I’m sure you’re safe.

theasdgamer
2 years ago

You should have said “yes I do”

But you didn’t did you. Actually you tried to reassure her “you loved her blah blah blah”

That was your mistake

Nah, he should have done both. Some tests are both comfort and shit tests. But thanks for playing. 🙂

ex-cartoonist
2 years ago

@ palmasailor Actually you tried to reassure her “you loved her blah blah blah” No, I didn’t. Sorry, incorrect. First: that last sentence referred to girlfriends in general and I was always very clear that my creative ambition—and my son—took precedence over them. If they didn’t like it, they could leave. (Which they did, sooner or later.) With my wife, yes, I told her I loved her. I did love her. It wasn’t like I had to pretend. But I also told her that I would never ever give up my work. It’s who I am. She kept trying to… Read more »

CSI
CSI
2 years ago

There’s an article in feminist entertainment-media site TheMarySue which would provide all sorts of fodder for Redpill analysis: Unintentionally Hilarious Chart Shows Young Men Having Way Less Sex, Women … Not So Much Of course the answer to this is clearly given by Redpill theory (hypergamy). But the article blames it on men being “terrible”. What “terrible” means they don’t clearly say. It seems to imply that “terrible” means being stereotypically Incel. Lazy, anti-social, unambitious, squatting in their parent’s house all day. And being an “alt-right” anti-feminist. Merely holding such beliefs automatically repels women apparently. So if men want to… Read more »

theasdgamer
2 years ago

(Which they did, sooner or later.)

But do you understand why they left? That’s key. It had nothing to do with your commitment to your work. Your commitment to your work was just an excuse for them to leave.

wahoo Mcdaniels
2 years ago

@Cartoonexist

“She kept trying to change me, but I was immovable and eventually she decided that this wasn’t what she wanted.”

I have to call BS on this^!

This may be true and what happened,You still have your integrity.
Generally what happens is she pushes for change(shit test)If and when the man gives in and changes for her then her work is done =he’s a pussy and she moves on.

This is the first rule of frame,hold your frame don’t fall into hers! Dough! COME ON MAN be honest with yourself and others as well.

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 years ago

Hudson yards is pretty fucking awesome. But now I’m confused…. So 27 is ” wall “, but 35 year old virgin is all good? As long as attractive and feminine? I mean, I get all of the ” cock carousel/std/alpha widow stuff ” , the std thing….. Whatever. ( I managed to not get ” burned ” all these years. Once I thought I did, but doc said ” no, no, this is epidymitis . You lift something really heavy? Get hit in the testicles? If it makes you feel better I’ll run a culture ” negative.life went on😉). BUT,… Read more »

SJF
SJF(@sjf)
2 years ago

Ex-Cartoonist You are still ego invested in your purpose and pursuit of your mission. You are a self admitted Beta. On an ongoing basis, if you weren’t turning the women on, including your ex-wife, your sticking to your mission (pardon the language) didn’t mean shit to them. Your ex-wife wanted you to provide lots for her and your son if you were going to provide for her. If you did that in a Beta frame, you fell short of her existential hypergamous angst/wishes. If you had in contrast, done that in an Alpha frame, then she would have perhaps trusted… Read more »

SJF
SJF(@sjf)
2 years ago

Lol, my daughter’s getting married in 5 weeks. @27 years old. What me worry? Not a chance. We also raised her well. By demonstrating. I don’t ever remember explicating (e.g.: Do this, Do that). She’s had great role models in additions to us, too, the environment we chose to do so. (Admittedly UnicornWhiteLandia, and UMC which was not chaotic. It was highly ordered. It was Disciplined, but not Oppressive, nor Suppressive.) An environment, where at every turn, adults played well with others. We chose and cultivated that environment in order to raise her and my son well. With a father… Read more »

SJF
SJF(@sjf)
2 years ago

@Palma “What’s your future son in law like? He’s very pleasant with great social skills. He’s a house painter. Had an undergraduate college business degree. He followed in the footsteps of perhaps a brother in the business he is in. He had two loser brothers (drug addicts). (I think about three years ago) he had a brother that committed suicide. The ‘I think” is about the time frame. His mother was military intelligence or IT. His parents were divorced. His father is remarried. His father had a medical scare 7 years ago and didn’t recover mindset from that (existential angst… Read more »

ex-cartoonist
2 years ago

@ Wahoo McDaniels “I have to call BS on this! This may be true and what happened,You still have your integrity.” If you accept something is true, how is it BS? “Generally what happens is she pushes for change(shit test)If and when the man gives in and changes for her then her work is done =he’s a pussy and she moves on.” But I didn’t change and she moved on anyway. That was kind of the point. “This is the first rule of frame,hold your frame don’t fall into hers!” Again, I did hold my frame. It was a conflict… Read more »

SJF
SJF(@sjf)
2 years ago

“If you accept something is true, how is it BS? But I didn’t change and she moved on anyway. That was kind of the point. Again, I did hold my frame. It was a conflict between her frame and my frame. And I ‘won’. But she wanted her frame to win.” Your Frame was wrong. It was centered on ego-investments. Stubbornness. Primary among MRP tenets is “Be attractive, don’t be unattractive.” You can be right all you want. Doesn’t make her move an inch toward her being desirous of you. Having your own frame as a cartoonist doesn’t make you… Read more »

ex-cartoonist
2 years ago

@ SJF “You are still ego invested in your purpose and pursuit of your mission.” Damn right! I’m struggling to see how this is a negative. I have the talent and ability to earn my living doing something I love doing. This is what I’ve done for the past twenty-five years. And my wife saw it, even in the early days. Indeed, one of her standard jokes was “Knowing my luck, you’ll get your big break after we’re divorced!” I was working, I was earning, but that ‘big break’ didn’t materialise and, every now and then, she got impatient or… Read more »

ex-cartoonist
2 years ago

@ SJF

I was writing my last comment when you posted your response. And I appreciate your saying that your intention is not to ‘pile’ on me. But it’s good to do this. I live in a social environment where most people are agreeable and it’s good to have a bit of back-and-forth over shit like this.

SJF
SJF(@sjf)
2 years ago

“A man is defined by what he stands for and if that is not enough to keep a woman, then frankly that woman is not worth keeping. There comes a point when women are going to do what they’re going to do, and you just have to let them go.” Keep believing that bro. You are not following along with Blaximus. That’s what is called Black Pill. Do you even Blaximus, bro? The thing is: you lead with burden of performance. And they will follow. What you ‘stand for’ is not enough. You are using a perverted ideology. What ought… Read more »

ex-cartoonist
2 years ago

@ SJF I’ve been sitting here with my coffee, pondering your comment. And here’s what comes up: My desire to be a good man is stronger than my desire to be an attractive man. What do I mean by ‘good’? For me personally, that means honesty, integrity and a code of honour. Things which, here, seem to be regarded as Blue Pill unless specifically incorporated into a Red Pill frame. Sure, if women were offering themselves up to me, I’d say yes, but that is not the case. If I want to have sex with attractive women, I need to… Read more »

theasdgamer
2 years ago

So 27 is ” wall “, but 35 year old virgin is all good? As long as attractive and feminine? Assuming a girl is riding the CC, 27 is approaching the wall. Virgins can be fertile/fecund longer than CC riders. CC riders’ plumbing tends to take a lot more hits than virgins’ plumbing. They aren’t all hoes. Plenty of hoes, not all of them. When girls are around alphas, the girls’ sex drive goes into overdrive. The only way for a girl to “not be a hoe” is to avoid alphas. No GNOs and lots of effective training. I tried,… Read more »

IAS
IAS
2 years ago

@Cartoonist: Your issue with your ex was not necessarily sticking to your own mission, in terms of the work you do. She definitely had you slotted mostly as a beta / provider, I think you also agree with that, but you admit you were failing at being a good provider in her eyes. So no surprise about the divorce, right? When she was joking at you getting your big break after the divorce, that was what she was banking at before the divorce, your potential. It was possible for her to stay, without you succeeding as a provider… But you… Read more »

theasdgamer
2 years ago

“We also raised her well. By demonstrating. I don’t ever remember explicating (e.g.: Do this, Do that). She’s had great role models in additions to us, too, the environment we chose to do so. (Admittedly UnicornWhiteLandia, and UMC which was not chaotic. It was highly ordered. It was Disciplined, but not Oppressive, nor Suppressive.) An environment, where at every turn, adults played well with others. We chose and cultivated that environment in order to raise her and my son well. With a father and mother in place to do that.” Well, then I also raised my kids well, because that’s… Read more »

kfg
kfg
2 years ago

“If I understand your argument correctly, you are saying I should put my primary focus on being attractive.” He didn’t say anything about your primary focus. Saying “you should carry an umbrella when it looks like rain” is not saying that you should make carrying an umbrella your primary focus. Not having an umbrella when it’s raining can, however, distract you from your primary focus. ” . . . honesty, integrity and a code of honour.” These are virtues, but virtue doesn’t mean “good,” it means “manliness.” It means “good” only by extension of manliness being good, on a man… Read more »

ex-cartoonist
2 years ago

@ IAS I do I have a sore spot with women in LTRs. It’s the bullshit beliefs. I understand the principle that when I’m feeling vulnerable for whatever reason, I should process it myself and not show the woman. I agree with the idea that women are not our therapists and I feel no resentment towards them for this. However, every women I’ve ever been with has had the bullshit belief that she would be a wise, wonderfully supportive partner if only their man would trust them, and I’m faced with two options: (i) Pretend it’s true in order to… Read more »

Novaseeker
Novaseeker
2 years ago

If I understand your argument correctly, you are saying I should put my primary focus on being attractive. and But here’s the thing: any sexual strategy I consider always comes into conflict with my life strategy. And my life strategy is to be a good man and to fulfill my potential as an artist. One focus, not the only one. It’s more like walking and chewing gum at the same time. You’re focused on making yourself more attractive and on your life mission as well — it’s a both/and. Yes, this takes more energy and it splits your time up,… Read more »

IAS
IAS
2 years ago

@Cartoonist: you are still stuck on wanting women to be (at least on those aspects) men with tits.

I relate, but I am happier now that I accept reality for what it is (instead of what I might have thought it should be).

And women are that way for a reason (because reality and evolutionary pressures made them that way).

P.S. I still struggle with a lot of stuff RP related, mostly on the s.

Novaseeker
Novaseeker
2 years ago

However, every women I’ve ever been with has had the bullshit belief that she would be a wise, wonderfully supportive partner if only their man would trust them, and I’m faced with two options: (i) Pretend it’s true in order to prop up their own bullshit self-image. (ii) Tell them the truth, which always results in meltdown, especially if she believes me. (And here’s the thing—most women know deep down that these beliefs are bullshits.) Maybe your experience is different, but my experience has been that women do not want their illusions taken away from them. They would rather have… Read more »

IAS
IAS
2 years ago

continued from the previous post (oops),
struggle with RP aspects, mostly on the shit tests that drag me into logical discussions without me noticing. Many years thinking at least certain women were logical (some are better at it than others, but even then, feelings dominate)…

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 years ago

Asd It’s a miscalculation to assume ” most ” girls are riding the carousel. It depends on where you are/go. If you spend a lot of time in a crack house, it’s a good bet that women there will be crack addicted. GNO isn’t a thing in my home. I don’t verbally forbid it, but I vetted wifey pursuant to my dislike of such things, hence my daughter wasn’t raised in a gno environment. It’s self perpetuating. My house is a staging area however, for gno’s. Recently a nice came to visit from Florida. Her bestie Andi came with her.… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 years ago

Confession: I’ve become a fanboy of kfg and Novaseeker.

There. I’ve admitted it.

Don’t judge.

Lost Patrol
Lost Patrol
2 years ago

ex-cartoonist Maybe your experience is different, but my experience has been that women do not want their illusions taken away from them. They would rather have a lie which makes them feel safe, than a truth which makes them feel unsafe. And as soon as I realise this about a woman, my respect for her plummets and she feels that. You keep trotting out laws of the universe that show you have the “eyes open” part of the red pill down very well. There is no longer any “as soon as I realise…” because you know it in advance and… Read more »

Lost Patrol
Lost Patrol
2 years ago

Being a “nice guy” is not attractive to women.

Novaseeker provides the quintessential nice guy primer in one paragraph. If only this were taught to all boys in public school from 5th grade.

Oh well. Do what you can to pass it along to the young men around you.

ollieoxenfree1
2 years ago

@Ex-Cartoonist “Damn right! I’m struggling to see how this is a negative. I have the talent and ability to earn my living doing something I love doing. This is what I’ve done for the past twenty-five years. And my wife saw it, even in the early days. Indeed, one of her standard jokes was “Knowing my luck, you’ll get your big break after we’re divorced!” I was working, I was earning, but that ‘big break’ didn’t materialise and, every now and then, she got impatient or scared and she would throw a fit about how I should give up on… Read more »

Lost Patrol
Lost Patrol
2 years ago

Confession: I’ve become a fanboy of kfg and Novaseeker.

There. I’ve admitted it.

Don’t judge.

Ha! You’re late to that party. On top of everything else, they’re fast typers.

Sentient
Sentient
2 years ago

Cartoonist Well you are getting a few pounds of gold today for the guy’s 2 cents… [Cents symbols are defunct fyi] Now this “To be honest, I don’t see what else I could have done.” Think about what OTHER women thought of you, how they interacted with you during tgese periods. Should be illuminating. On this “They would rather have a lie which makes them feel safe, than a truth which makes them feel unsafe. ” Actually they want to hold both beliefs simultaneously… Process that. Cats are not dogs… For example… She wants to believe she is the only… Read more »

kfg
kfg
2 years ago

“If only this were taught to all boys in public school from 5th grade.”

It used to be taught to all boys at home from 5th year, but progressive women have seized control of the teaching profession over the past century or so.

” . . . they’re fast typers.”

I’m dysgraphic, so I attended adult secretarial school when I was 12 to learn to type properly. Now, instead of mirroring d and b I mirror k and d. That will only make perfect sense to dyslexics who touch type.

Sentient
Sentient
2 years ago

Blax

“but I vetted wifey pursuant to my dislike of such things, hence my daughter wasn’t raised in a gno environment. It’s self perpetuating. ”

Same. I’d like to add a bunch to your post upthread shouting raising kids, on how important the mother is as well… No time atm.

wahoo Mcdaniels
2 years ago

@Cartoonist Yes BS on the she left me cuz I didn’t change. So far all the responses have been spot on ,even SJF. First unplug from the egalitarian equalist blank slate belief system. Watch what she does not what she says.For myself I have always had to give up much of what I wanted to do in order to maintain a wife and children,this was something I did voluntarily out of a need to be needed, a quest for higher responsibility,not cuz she said to. I never gave up completely on my interests only redirected them into something that was… Read more »

O.B.I.T.
O.B.I.T.
2 years ago

Some guy gets his brains beat in outside Dodger Stadium and is in a coma. His understandably distraught, crying wife says, “I shouldn’t have to be dealing with this.”

ollieoxenfree1
2 years ago

@Ex_Cartoonist “(i) Pretend it’s true in order to prop up their own bullshit self-image. (ii) Tell them the truth, which always results in meltdown, especially if she believes me. (And here’s the thing—most women know deep down that these beliefs are bullshits.) Maybe your experience is different, but my experience has been that women do not want their illusions taken away from them. They would rather have a lie which makes them feel safe, than a truth which makes them feel unsafe. And as soon as I realise this about a woman, my respect for her plummets and she feels… Read more »

theasdgamer
2 years ago

“(i) Pretend it’s true in order to prop up their own bullshit self-im age. (ii) Tell them the truth, which always results in meltdown, especially if she believes me. (And here’s the thing—most women know deep down that these beliefs are bullshits.)” (iii) ignore/laugh at/agree and amplify (for your amusement) bullshit when it’s expressed by a woman…never take it seriously And as soon as I realise this about a woman, my respect for her plummets Diagnosis: Equalism…I see that Nova beat me to this…well, at least I can cosign. IAS is correct. Women ain’t men with tits. @Blax It’s a… Read more »

SJF
SJF(@sjf)
2 years ago

Assuming you are in a long term relationship that is healthy: “There is an old saying that a man cares little for a woman’s feelings if he is not prepared to lie to protect them.”–BluePillProfessor” Last night I had an hour drive home (after a great red pill meetup), starting @9:30 PM in the worst driving weather I ever have experienced. It was 34 degrees and rain had turned to a fierce, really-thick-falling, heavy snow storm. On the road I texted my wife that I’d be home in an hour and the roads were fine. (She has a real fear… Read more »

theasdgamer
2 years ago

“I don’t know how some men do it. I, more or less, have to be plastered to listen to the average woman speak.”

Me too.

Hence my preference for smart girlie-girls.

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
2 years ago

ExCartoonist….you wrote “damn right” as a way to congratulate yourself in your career pursuits. SJF is pointing out the dangerous ego validation addiction you have with your writing and career. He’s not telling you to not care about your work. Rather he’s telling you not to see your career as a condition of your personal value. You are measuring your value upon your pride in your job. What’s the problem with that, you ask? The answer is then you are serving your career, not yourself as your job is not you but you are thinking it so….but that doesn’t make… Read more »

ollieoxenfree1
2 years ago

Where do you draw the line in the sand?

If there isn’t a line, then all you’re saying is you’re someone to be pushed around.

SJF
SJF(@sjf)
2 years ago

Ollie “Where do you draw the line in the sand? If there isn’t a line, then all you’re saying is you’re someone to be pushed around.” That question is too vague and open-ended. Give me an example of what you are talking about. We are men and we are talking about inter-sexual dynamics. Yes indeed feminist equalism is bullshit. It destroys masculine feminine polarity. At the end of the day, men want what they are designed to get. Release. And women want to be filled up with stuff. Alpha seed or Beta feed. You should be unabashedly masculine: purposeful, confident… Read more »

SJF
SJF(@sjf)
2 years ago

Ex Cartoonist and Ollie

Read this essay and the links to other essays contained therein:

https://therationalmale.com/2011/12/16/truth-to-power/

And then come back and ask more or your pointed questions.

Now is not the time to be complacent (adjective; showing smug or uncritical satisfaction with oneself or one’s achievements.).

Sentient
Sentient
2 years ago

Following on the recent comments on BiTurbo, driver reactions, steering into the skid and the Burden of Performance… In 1987 the Ruf CTR Yellowbird.became the fastest car in the world, besting both the Porsche 959 and Ferrari F40. Ruf test driver Stefan Roser takes it around the Nürburgring Nordschleife in just eight minutes and five seconds. Right foot steering at its best as he takes every bend sideways, all the while dodging traffic at huge speeds. Stefan Roser… https://www.9tro.com/media/features/people-places/stefan-roser-road-warrior Burden doesn’t look like it sucks… 8:05 lap time on an open track day… Sharp eyed commentators note that he induces… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
2 years ago

“It sounds like he is joking when he tells you this, but Stefan really did learn his car control craft in an old 30hp VW Beetle on ice and snow when he was 18. “As it is also rear-engined, the 911 handles very much the same only it is far more powerful”, he said with a totally straight face.’

SJF
SJF(@sjf)
2 years ago

Listen to the Imagine Dragons song Natural. Dan Reynolds said about the song’s meaning in a press release: “Living in a dog-eat-dog world can bring out the worst in you, and sometimes, the best. It would be a lie to tell you I haven’t become somewhat skeptical about some things in the last decade of my life. However, I believe that when you truly learn to love yourself, the judging eyes and hateful words become meaningless. ‘Natural’ is about finding yourself and being willing and able to stand up to whatever adversity comes your way.” Love yourself=self validation, not seeking… Read more »

ollieoxenfree1
2 years ago

You can’t just draw a line. That is stasis.

If you don’t have a fixed point of reference, then everything becomes relativity and therefore meaningless.
A man on one side of the line, a woman on the other. Unless what you’re suggesting is men and women’s positions are interchangeable?

“And waiting, waiting, waiting for something to come around.”

Something worth having is worth waiting for. Settling on the first thing that comes along is never a good idea.

Reeks of desperation.

SJF
SJF(@sjf)
2 years ago

Ollie

Do you want to have an inter-sexual relationship or not?

It’s not about drawing lines. Why are you stuck on that? That’s an attempted take-away.

Try penetrating.

KABA
KABA
2 years ago

@ Rugby

please keep posting RMG and BTT

thanks

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
2 years ago

@ Ollie “If you don’t have a fixed point of reference, then everything becomes relativity and therefore meaningless.” I’m going to take a shot at this…. SJF isn’t telling you to have standards. He’s telling you to have options, different ways of thinking to, and achieving your objective. Your objective is your fixed point of reference, how you get there is up to you. Analogy: You desire traveling by car from A to B. Your car is not 100% reliable. You could take the bus, ride your bike, walk, but you prefer to drive and are committed to that. You… Read more »

ex-cartoonist
2 years ago

@ Novaseeker

I’ve been thinking a lot about the responses you gave to my previous comments. They were great food for thought and I’ve re-read them at least a dozen times. Thank you.

SJF
SJF(@sjf)
2 years ago

Ex Cartoonist Jack Donovan’s book The Way of Men has a lot of good ideas about the difference between being a good man and being good at being a man (some of the stuff you’ve been wrestling with).. The book gives good context for a man’s place in the world. You should read it. On chapter is On Being a Good Man. Here is a short excerpt: For whatever it is worth, scientific evidence for biological differences between the sexes and cross-cultural commonalities between men has continued to build since Connell published Masculinities in 1995, and it is not difficult… Read more »

ex-cartoonist
2 years ago

@ SJF When I saw your comment, my head lit up like a pinball machine. “Being a good man versus Being good at being a man” Yes! That is a brilliant distinction. That is the puzzle piece I was looking for. Thank you. (And I am buying that book!) The line “It is possible to be a good man without being particularly good at being a man” is especially resonant. In fact, I think it totally nails my own personal issue: That I’m a good man, but not good at being a man. I totally see myself in Donovan’s description… Read more »

SJF
SJF(@sjf)
2 years ago

The question that now occurs to me is: Can I turn myself into a ‘Man Good at Being a Man’? It is possible? And, even if it is, is it desirable? (My current self-assessment is that even if I poured my heart and soul into ‘Being More Masculine’, I would be mediocre at best—like someone taking singing lessons without having any singing talent to begin with. Whereas being a ‘good man’ is something I can excel at, because I already have natural ability.) Sure you can, man. It has to do with embracing masculinity. The four tactical virtues of being… Read more »

477
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x
%d bloggers like this: