Remove the Man 2019

In October of 2017 I wrote an essay titled Male Control. It was actually the second time I’d covered the topic of how a feminine-primary social order (a Gynocracy if you will) seeks to control its male population by deliberately sowing confusion about masculinity into multiple generations of boys, and later men. Prior to this I’d written another seminal post titled Remove the Man in which is outlined the ways in which that Gynocracy makes efforts to systematically remove men from our language. Usually this takes the form of ‘erasing’ the letters m-a-n from the English language wherever it appears in an official capacity (i.e. state bylaws, universities, legislative documents), but also in gender-neutral translations of the Bible now. The only real constant in all of this the deliberate erasure of ‘man’ and/or ‘men’ from that language.

But if thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought.

George Orwell

I wrote Remove the Man back in 2013 in response to one such effort by the Governor of Washington, Jay Inslee, who passed a bill to make state laws gender neutral. The effort actually began in 2007, but in 2019 a simple search for ‘gender neutral language’ will show you the extent and scope of this much larger effort. This essay served and the starting point for a larger awareness for me – that of the push to remove men and masculinity from more than just our language, but rather the removal of all things conventionally masculine. As Orwell states here, the thought, the thinking, about masculinity and men is the focus of the corruption.

But language is only one way that the concept of what is masculine is distorted for a purpose.

Today the American Psychological Association issued its first-ever guidelines for practice with boys/men’s. In it the concept of conventional (traditional) masculinity is outlined as ‘harmful’.

The main thrust of the subsequent research is that traditional masculinity—marked by stoicism, competitiveness, dominance and aggression—is, on the whole, harmful. Men socialized in this way are less likely to engage in healthy behaviors.

It would be easy to refute this basic presumption with countless examples of how all of these traits, most of which are innate parts of men’s evolved mental firmware, have been key in developing a civil society as well as healthy masculine identity. But what we’re seeing in this is a corruption of language that is leading to the standardization of the corruption of thought.

Stoicism, competitiveness, dominance and aggression are evolved aspects of the male psyche that have served men for millennia. To the Red Pill aware man this is self-evident. What is less evident is the new context in which these ‘educated’ men apply meaning to these terms. Academia has been so thoroughly assimilated by the Feminine Imperative that the men making official decrees about psychological principle no longer have the insight to understand that their perspective is informed by ‘female-correct‘ thought.

There are two presumptions being made here:

First, is that men’s predisposition for stoicism, competitiveness, dominance and aggression are the results of a patriarchal societies adverse influence on boys and men.

The belief is founded in blank-slate social constructionism. I addressed this in Old Lies:

They hate the very idea that a boy might act in accordance with an inborn masculine proclivity. They hate the idea that a boy might learn to be tough and resilient at the expense of a vulnerability (weakness) because it contradicts the equalist belief set. They hate the idea that boys and girls have innately, biologically, different ways of dealing with emotions that don’t align with their belief in a blank-slate. To force them to accept this would be to force them to abandon deeply ego-invested beliefs that they themselves had conditioned into them by the same feminine-primary education.

Boys don’t naturally emote like girls, but when they refuse to align with the female-correct way of emoting we say that some patriarchal macho man, somewhere, in some movie, in some song, in some household taught that kid not to feel. He somehow learned that allowing his emotions to rule over him, to be vulnerable, to prioritize his feelings above his sense of rational self is what it actually is – a weakness that in our evolutionary past was far likelier to get him killed than to earn the praise of his equalist teachers.

Boys are simply not as emotional as girls – our brains did not evolve that way – but because we value the feminine above the masculine today we say this kid is doing it wrong. We say he learned to be an asshole from his macho dad or he learned to love firearms because of the latest rap song or a toxically masculine society that doesn’t exist. 

Now, granted, the men responsible for these psychological practices and their standardization tried to walk back the idea that conventionally masculine attributes weren’t “all bad”. This is expected because an aspect like stoicism can still be considered useful to a feminine-primary social order. It’s just that the larger social order wants the aspects of masculinity to manifest on its own terms and serving a female-centric utility.

A determined hard-driving man is what they want when the floodwaters start rising and women need to be carried to safety, but when a man uses that aspect of his masculine nature for his exclusive benefit, or a purpose that conflicts with feminine primacy, that’s when the aspect is defined as dangerous. However, the overall preconception is that there is some sinister influence of an old-school chauvinistic patriarchy teaching boys and men to be ‘toxically’ masculine. I addressed this fallacy in Old Lies, but this is one more example of how fem-centric society must cling to a clichéd parody of how boys must be being taught in order to cover the fact that boys are raised like defective girls today.

What is glaringly ignored is that these traits, and many more, are endemic parts of men’s evolved nature. Our emotional natures are not the same as that of women’s. Our brains are not wired the same as women’s. Men and women process emotions differently from the other, particularly negative emotions. This is a feature of the male brain, not a bug. But today the APA has decided unilaterally that men’s way of dealing with emotion is “incorrect”. Incorrect because the only correct way would be one that aligns with the women’s interests they’ve been conditioned to believe are only beneficial to larger society. To the APA, masculinity itself is a bug.

Secondly, this deliberate misconception relies entirely on social constructionism and almost entirely ignores the biological factors that contribute to masculine gender identity. I’m presently working on another essay that explores the dependency on blank-slate equalism as the basis for virtually every presumption the mainstream has about gender identity, so I don’t want to give too much away. However, the whole presumption of gender in humanist psychology depends on the falsehood that men and women are functionally coequal.

Accepting that failed notion of blank-slate equalism is what scaffolds the entire premise of this standard of masculinity. Masculinity is something that cannot be removed from society if its source is something that is unique to only men by virtue of their biology. They cannot ensure female-correctness as a societal standard if men and women are different. People like those in authority at the APA know this. It’s why merely talking about those innate gender differences is deemed a hate-crime today. Inspiring doubt in the blank-slate standard risks destroying the scaffolding for all their preconceptions of gender.

In the end this is one more, I think significant, effort in removing men and conventional masculinity from our collective thought. This standardization of how men should be ‘dealt with’ in therapy, or colored by in just considering men’s role in psychology is an ideological power play. Modern psychology officially doesn’t ‘get men’ anymore.

The latest Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) will now officially list ‘traditional’ masculinity as a hazard or a disorder for male humans. They can’t be called ‘men’ because that would gender them.

I read a few Twitter threads about this change to the DSM and I think they’re worth reading to get a better grasp of the gravity of this standardization:

On December 29th, 2018 I made some pretty ominous predictions about what I thought the manosphere and men in general could expect to see in 2019-2020. We’re not eve a week into the first month and a lot of what I expected is starting to develop. The gender divide is now a gender ‘Cold War’ and going forward I see the polarization between the sexes becoming even uglier than the 2016 election cycle.

This issuance from the APA is a foundation for how psychology – our Lords of the new church – will define what is acceptably ‘male’ and what is not. Furthermore it defines what aspects of masculinity is officially hazardous based on social constructionism and science denial.

Going forward I think Red Pill aware men will have to view mainstream psychology with even more suspicion than we do already. My Red Man Group colleague, Rian Stone, has mentioned that this equivalent of a “Papal Bull” from the APA represents a call to action for the Red Pill community and the manosphere in general to help men understand that conventional, “traditional” masculinity is not a disorder.

The Red Pill saves lives. I can only see this standardization as a net negative for men who are already five times more likely than women to take their own lives. Men seeking psychological help will only find their problems compounded by psychologists trained to believe masculinity is inherently toxic. And as a result we need to be prepared to help our Blue Pill brothers unplug and show them their inherent worth as conventionally masculine men.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

349 comments on “Remove the Man 2019

  1. Western civilization is dead. In the end the Chinese will duke it out with the Islamists over the rights to loot the corpse.

  2. Fuck off…

    The Chinese have had a couple of thousand years to get… China… and N. Korea… lol

  3. I’ve been considering seeing a male therapist for some time regarding issues of Depression and the like. After reading this, absolutely fuck that non-sense. I’ll not let some feminized male (there is a profound difference between males and Men) spin some femcentric horse shit at me. I’ll figure it the fuck out by myself and you know what? I’ll be a better Man for it.

  4. competitiveness, dominance and aggression aren’t male specific traits. Women share them in an underhanded way they are pretty familiar with that few document.

  5. If you’re feeling low try tryptophan, b1 (thiamine), vit d and SLEEP. Hit weights when you’re awake and take walks. Did I mention sleep? It’s important.

  6. Bushi
    ’ll figure it the fuck out by myself and you know what? I’ll be a better Man for it.

    You’re in the manosphere, where men do just that. You already got some good advice; exercise can work better for depression than drugs. Ditto vit D if you are in the northern hemisphere right now. Plus there’s no paper / computer record trail for some SJW bureaucrat to search up a few years in the future…

    It’s all rooted in the fear that Men will take away women’s basic instincts of Hypergamy.

    LOL! No, no, no. Not even close! Read the archives.

  7. Western civilization is dead. In the end the Chinese will duke it out with the Islamists over the rights to loot the corpse.

    China’s pretty busy taking over East Africa, at least for now.

  8. Circumventing the World Bank magically spurs economic growth and blunts generational poverty.

    Who knew?😁

    ( Well, I did 25 years ago but China wasn’t really a huge player then. I was watching the IMF and world bank pick winners and losers in Latin America back then. Break the traditional yoke, get untraditional results. Simple.)

  9. Its already hard for depressive, shy guys to make a dent but now even if you try seeking help with therapy – you’re deemed as defective human being without saying a word.

  10. A few things that I notice recently as I bang my way through millennials…girls today under 30 have very few “feminine” skills: they can’t cook, sew, have very poor manners.

    I now take on the role of the “man” as someone who has to show them how to cook or cook and get them to clean up afterwards—another trait very foreign to them because it seems they’ve never had to do this at home or wherever. Certainly guys their own age can’t do those basic things so they then find it extremely sexy to have a man cook for them and compensate by banging and by cleaning up.

    Roles have not been redefined…but in addition to learning game and being Red Pilled having basic survival skills: entrepenuership, ability to cook, ability to explain shit—music, history, politics….ability to pass shit-tests and NOT apologize to a girl’s silly banter: “That’s sexxxxxiiiiiiissst!!” “Yup…it is….”

  11. I find the comments from the APA are just ignorant and a total lack of understanding to what makes a positive masculine male.

    Stoicism is a very positive philosophy, for a healthy and happy life, not just for men but also for women. The lack of understanding from a professional body absolutely astounds me.

    My upbringing lacked a positive patriarch. My abused mother left at a young age and I was brought up in a feminised environment. In no way shape or form has that been a healthy upbringing for me as a man.

    The positive was I was taught to be a kind, empathic and compassionate ‘person’. But I did not have the stoicism, competiveness, dominance (this is domination over your own life and not domination of other people and the external world like what is promoted) and aggression (again, focused aggression can be positive) to project myself as a masculine man, into the world.

    As a result by the time I was 30 I was suffering from depression, never had a healthy relationship and wanted to commit suicide because I felt I had failed as a man.

    I have had to teach myself how to be a man. Today I am very emotionally resilient. Depression never goes away but I manage it and I enjoy every day of my life. I live by stoicism, I date multiple women and life is good. But because of the lack of patriarch in my life, teaching me positive masculine values, I feel I have missed 25 years of my life because of depression and not understanding my role as a man in the world.

    So I would happily go toe to toe with the APA or any Psychologist and tell them they are flat wrong in their beliefs that a boy who is socialized with a positive masculine upbringing is likely to adopt unhealthy behaviours. The FACT is that the opposite is true. And I am not baseing that on opinion, or any opinions that come out of the Manosphere. It is empirical data from my own personal experience.

  12. Yes Chinese loans to Africans… What could go wrong? Lol

    [Hint – loans are easy to make. Not as easy to get paid back]

  13. I guess many people here have probably pointed this (I wouldn’t know since I don’t read the comments usually), but I hope that most men are aware that the “Gynocracy and feminist lobby” is essencially ruled and manipulated by decadent and insane lesbians who have a bizarre and twisted agenda.
    Basically they think that if they work hard enough, in the future every women will become a lesbian and so they’ll have kmore pussy to lick.

    It seems like a crazy and nonsense plan, doesn’t it? Well… most women have crazy and nonsense intellects.

  14. What archives?

    Top menu bar – “The Best Of Rational Male”. Year1-3 required reading if you’re going to make sense of TRM.

  15. The Psycho pro’s have always been good at doling out dope to those that can’t relate.

    Could be they have some new drugs for antistoicism,anticompetition,antiballsdrop and antimalesocialize.

  16. In 2019, my resident state, New Jersey, will offer and recognize gender neutral birth certificates.

    I didn’t hear anything about this until December 30th.

    When I heard about this, I began asking everyone I knew and encountered what they thought about it, and as of January 8th I’ve yet to find one person that even knew this was going to happen.

    Now for my own personal satisfaction/curiosity, I’m going to query state legislators. The state is still confused about marijuana legalization, but this happened to sneak in under the radar with no publicity.

    The odd push in ‘ gender studies and issues ‘ has been gaining steam over the past decade, wrt the enactment of legislation based on the results of ” years of studies “. Studies the average person doesn’t know anything about. Academia has taken a very hard turn and the lack of publicity outside of intellectual circles fosters practically zero resistance or opposite opinion or study. It’s a stacked deck where studies just magically speak shit into being.

    The problem is that without playback, academic pushback and counter studies, the momentum will become unstoppable and eventually accepted by ” intelligent ” people as undeniable fact.

    LOl, I have a lot of experience with this. Studies said that I should be a criminal, drug addicted, under probation or incarcerated, jobless, low iq and dead before age 30.

    NOw, all the smart people know this stuff is undeniable because ” studies and books written ” with practically zero opposition.

    Tactics are tactical.

    So even if every man in the sphere were to become aware, it’s still an almost insignificant number – unless some kind of reasonable lobbying aimed at the authors and the rest of academics can be mounted in opposition. Without that effort and action ” masculinity ” will be outlawed.

    This stuff isn’t intellectual or factual. It’s opinions driven by agenda. ” Science ” should challenge and reject.

    …. But nobody wants to lose their job/standing.

  17. Sentient, the Chinese loans to Africa aren’t meant to be paid back. They’re meant to buy influence, access to the markets, and yoke the Africans to the Chinese – they are pretty successful for that purpose I think.

  18. This is just more top-down, 30,000 foot business, really, and frankly it just makes things better for men who are self-aware and self-actualized. The more the typical guys, the AFCs, are clamped down upon by this or that part of mainstream culture (including the APA), the more opportunities it creates for men who are self-actualized to reap the benefits in all areas of life, including women.

    From that perspective, I’m not seeing the problem. I mean the overall social trend is unmistakeable and it’s important that self-aware men keep abreast of these things, but overall it serves primarily to benefit us in the short to medium term at least — in the long term, who knows, because the long term is just to far out to predict reliably given the pace of change overall (including technological change).

    So just enjoy this — this kind of thing makes life even easier for us in any timeframe that is relevant, provided we are vigilant in remaining self-aware and self-actualized.

    re: China and Africa. This is just a contemporary Sinic riff on colonialism (get quasi-monopoly on resources in underdeveloped countries in return for “loans” and “infrastructure investment”, and use such resources to enhance your own power, while financing the whole thing through sales of goods to decadent former colonial powers). Good gig, really, probably the “winning gig” currently as far as grand strategy goes.

  19. Culum


    African nations that have an abundance of resources and materials used in manufacturing and technology have been trying to hand together to get ” fairer ” prices for these things, but have been unsuccessful.

    China needs material and is willing to pay a fairer price, and/or trade in loans and assistance in building factories, mines, and infrastructure – including a shitload of state of the art airporta and seaports where applicable.

    The world bank/imf operates differently, and usually leave the bulk of a population almost destitute with debt that gdp cannot sustain. Generational debt. Nice way to drain resources at bargain basement prices.

    Hugo Chavez was able to nationalize Venezuela oil and pay off all outstanding debt and free the country of crushing debt – even though it came with a lot of pain to the population economically. After Chavez death succeeding rulers decided to jump back into worldwide debt with both feet.

    Hence Venezuela predicament today. They have debt with nothing to show for it. LOl, like paying a car loan for a car you’ll never own or drive.

    So now you see Russia landing bombers in Venezuela……

  20. Gents,

    As has been pointed out, this will benefit red pill aware males, just another academia knife to further cut the balls off male millennials, is there even anything even left to cut? There is an all out full spectrum attack on masculinity at the moment, when the pendulum swings(and it always does) back it’s going to get very sporty.

    I guess it’s about targeting the newer generation, not that they need any help, they are busy castrating themselves with video games/porn/social media/internet platforms and the like.

    Red pill aware males, the fields are all there for plowing, plow them fields and reap the benefits get mad you son-of-a-bitches, get mad!

  21. This APA adoption is just the result of institutions pandering to females. Just like the church has been doing and now they wonder where are all the men. They know men will pay pay for their educational agenda even though it is against men, because the stats say our children have a better chance at survival after being inculcated to their biased agenda.

    We converted a garage to offices and built an ad on garage close to the side border fence. The neighbors had this dog with its voice box removed that quitely ran back and forth along the fence mutely barking,I could swear the more you ignored it the harder it tried to scare us,one verry agitated dog.

    When and if the church and other institutions begin pandering to me they won’t have any credibility left at all.

  22. This is scary stuff.

    To set a criteria which designates masculine traits as harmful to men (and therefore boys) is a whole new breed of sinister, especially as schools, creches and childcare centres are so dominated by women. What can be done? I don’t see Red Pill men getting jobs as infant school teachers. (I know I don’t want to be one.)

  23. As the APA clearly lets on, the “helping professions” have a particular problem with men who don’t want their help. Less business for them and less opportunity to re-shape the culture.

    As AR I think said a few days ago, you may well be better off discussing your situation with a few trusted friends or other trusted laymen before going on record as “needing help”

    Nova points out this is all just background noise to the confident, shit-together male. But it will not turn out well for men or boys who do stumble into the clutches of the helping professions.

  24. The APA guides may sound like background noise,that is until they become part of legislation by rulings made in light of “expert witness”. Pleading the 5th will be labled as stoic.

  25. “The APA guides may sound like background noise,that is until they become part of legislation . . .”

    Bear in mind that these guidelines are simply the codification of what is already practice in all of the adult social services. And you might be surprised at what falls under that field these days and can suck you involuntarily into the system.

    Men over 65 (officially elderly by the DSM) are particularly at risk and will need even more strength and stoicism to maintain their freedom and dignity. Their traps are already set for you and you might need to be willing to gnaw off a leg to get free should you fall into one.

    Stay strong. Stay healthy. Take care of yourself. As long as you can. It isn’t you that the “caring professions” cares about, and they are all tied into Social Services.

  26. @Sentient

    I’m sure Mack Bezos will be at least as helpful to us as Jobs widow has been. ..

    Question: is Bezos in the process of proving himself to be just as betaized about women as Elon Musk?

  27. Sentient – sure. But then you start paying the new guys too in exchange for resources, geopolitical influence, etc. How many dictators did we prop up over the decades as a bulwark against Communism etc? The Chinese are just getting in on the same game.

    As for Bezos, I read somewhere (maybe Twitter) an unsourced report that there was a prenup, so she may not get quite as much as everyone thinks.

  28. Culum

    The Chinese are just getting in on the same game.

    For sure… one in which they have no experience.

    What’s really funny though is you have two parties where neither intends to honor the deal…

    Sing it Aretha…

  29. @Rollo: good post. Insidious move by APA.

    The first of their “masculinity markers” – stoicism – is a trait that one has to be rather twisted to interpret as harmful…
    No coincidence, stoicism is also the trait among those markers that contributes positively to men’s mental health (and keeps them from seeking the APA’s “help”, as O.B.I.T. alludes to in the post above).

    Women’s general lack of stoicism (which is probably a feature rather than a bug for some evolutionary reason?) is surely a major contributor to women’s being more vulnerable to anxiety and depression.

  30. Last post on China…

    Beijing’s reputation is not all that is at stake: Chinese sponsors are losing money. Wang Wen, chief economist at Sinosure, said the Chinese state-owned insurer had been forced to write off $1bn in losses on the Djibouti-Addis Ababa link. Due diligence on the 718km railway had been “downright inadequate”, he said.

    Mr Wang’s comments came after Abiy Ahmed, Ethiopia’s prime minister, in September negotiated easier terms with China on $4bn of railway loans, extending the repayment period from 10 to 30 years. The move followed a foreign exchange crisis that hit Ethiopia’s ability to maintain the railroad and repay its debts to Chinese state creditors, analysts said.

    Meanwhile, criticism of the Mombasa-Nairobi line, Kenya’s biggest infrastructure project since it gained independence in 1963, has increased. Three Chinese nationals working for the China Road and Bridge Corporation were last month charged in Kenya with attempting to bribe local officials investigating an alleged ticketing scam that was said to be depriving the railway of $10,000 a day in revenue.

    The rail line had failed to achieve its goal of cutting congestion on the parallel highway by shifting freight from trucks to trains, said John Githongo, a Kenyan anti-corruption campaigner. The highway was as busy as ever, he added. Bechtel, a US construction company, even planned to build a $3bn road along the same route, he said.

    “We knew from the very beginning that this was a lemon of a project and it is simply becoming more and more apparent every day,” Mr Githongo said.

  31. ” . . . a feature rather than a bug for some evolutionary reason?”

    For the bulls United We Stand, Divided We Fall means a fireteam forming a battle square. For the cows it means stampeding the herd away from the danger. The two strategies are complimentary. They form a group survival system which fails should one of them be absent.

    You can play it out as a wargame scenario and see how it works, and fails to work.

    I’ve watched a number of critiques of The Last Jedi (far more entertaining than the movie looks like it is) and I haven’t seen anyone yet pick up on the major theme even though it is the major plotline:

    Run away!

  32. @Novaseeker and foxguy: neither alpha men nor RP aware men (not necessarily the same thing) are immune to this kind of move, even on the short /medium term, although the awareness certainly provides some protection.

    This topic makes me think of the classic movie:
    One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
    Didn’t end well for the RP alpha…

  33. If you get a tank it doesn’t mean that you’re safe because the grunts can’t hurt you. It means you made yourself the target of the Warthogs.

  34. IAS

    Women’s general lack of stoicism (which is probably a feature rather than a bug for some evolutionary reason?) is surely a major contributor to women’s being more vulnerable to anxiety and depression.

    Possibly women’s general lack of testosterone. Some of the symptoms of low T in men include anxiety and depression. Since working the upper body muscles increases T in a normal, healthy man the manosphere trope “Do you even lift?” has scientific support.

    This also implies that the APA and the rest of the helping professions are really, really trying to turn men into women – demonizing Testosterone in the process.

  35. @Sentient, Newly

    If you think of the PRC Chinese as running a huge payday/car title lending business with East African governments as the customers, a lot becomes clear. “Garnishment” is easy on a paycheck, but it can be done on a railroad, a port facility, or other infrastructure as well.

    On a completely irrelevant tangential rabbit trail…
    I could be wrong, but I seem to recall the East India Company used to loan money to Rajahs and other princelings in India. When the loans weren’t repaid, the Company would foreclose on some of the princely real estate, with troops if required. Eventually India became a British possession. Only for a couple of centuries, though.

  36. Once you have them in the monkey trap it’s easy enough to put shackles on them.

    The IMF has been at it so long that if the monkey won’t take the bait, they can force it to.

  37. AR

    Yes I’ve no doubt the Chinese think they are going to “garnish” or foreclose, and likewise the African governments have zero expectation that they are going to make payments [but the current “big men” will make large Swiss deposits]… Each think they are going to get over on the other…

    The problem for the Chinese is they are in China, and they are Chinese…

    This “with troops if required.” is not something they do well on an export basis…

  38. Gynocracy: social order where women use the same 20% subset of top tier males for sex, and the other 80% as ATM cash dispensers.

  39. ” . . . the other 80% as ATM cash dispensers.”

    They’re not the machine. They’re the players, of the slot machine. The machine pays out on a very carefully calculated but apparently pseudo-random basis.

  40. Sentient

    The problem for the Chinese is they are in China, and they are Chinese…

    True. However, the Tibetans are in China, and they are slowly but steadily becoming Chinese…

    This “with troops if required.” is not something they do well on an export basis…

    …so far.

    But do they really need their own troops if they effectively own the government of some African country like Kenya? Recall what the word “Sepoy” meant in India for a couple of centuries.

  41. Boulderhead
    Venezuela real estate prices are plenty high,coroniarizing Aflica is a good idea in case of Gland minimum.

    Say, you back on some meds?

  42. Rollo, there is an awful lot being discussed in the psychiatric and psychologist associations about “hegemonic masculinity”:
    Some background on Dr. Ryon McDermott, who helped author these new APA guidelines stating that “traditional masculinity is harmful”:

    “I tell clients that oftentimes anger is a powerful emotion to cover for a more vulnerable emotion we might feel,”

    “…The clinician’s role, McDermott says, can be to encourage men to discard the harmful ideologies of traditional masculinity (violence, sexism) and find flexibility in the potentially positive aspects (courage, leadership).”

    “….traditional masculinity is psychologically harmful and that socializing boys to suppress their emotions causes damage that echoes both inwardly and outwardly.”

  43. And since Twitter is exploding on this one, they are now backpedaling in the most half-assed way imaginable:

    “When we report that some aspects of “traditional masculinity” are potentially harmful, we are referring to a belief system held by a few that associates masculinity with extreme behaviors that harm self and others. It is the extreme stereotypical behaviors—not simply being male or a “traditional male”—that may result in negative outcomes. For example, people who believe that to be a “real man” is to get needs met through violence, dominance over others, or extreme restriction of emotions are at risk for poor physical, psychological, and social outcomes (e.g., increased risk for cardiovascular disease, social isolation, depression relationship distress, etc.).

    When a man believes that he must be successful no matter who is harmed or his masculinity is expressed by being sexually abusive, disrespectful, and harmful to others, that man is conforming to the negative aspects associated with traditional masculinity.”

  44. Just more of what is going on at liberal arts college campuses. South Alabama University.

    Ryon McDermott:

    Notice the projects he is involved in: College men’s sexual assault and masculinity


    blockquote>The commentators point out a need for greater attention to the intersections of identities within masculinities, more investigation of different dimensions of privilege and entitlement, and greater emphasis on group-level influences and social settings that can increase or decrease risks of sexual violence. In the present rejoinder, we expand on each commentator’s calls to action and advance a brief argument that a critical step toward addressing these important research goals is to tackle the striking dearth of research of sexual assault in relation to normative and gender role strain constructs.



  45. So the APA has a Division 51 — the Society for the Psychological Study of Men and Masculinities.

    That’s X-Files creepy. Probably just down the road from Area 51.

    Looks like CYA at the APA, and the people who OK’d that “Masculinity is Harmful” piece a few days ago got some splainin’ to do. Didn’t mean to lay it all out so bluntly, dammit. Pity the clueless (probably freelance) chick who wrote all that drivel now caught in the crossfire.

  46. O.B.I.T.
    Pity the clueless (probably freelance) chick who wrote all that drivel now caught in the crossfire.

    No. I will not.

  47. No … no, I didn’t think you would, and you’re right. I say “pity” only in the sense that you’re screwed when trying to write for an organization that doesn’t quite want to say what it really means.

  48. Traditional Masculinity: (a hazard or a disorder for male humans) = Hazard = Disposable Male… therefore men are no longer defined as disposable according to the APA. Winning.

  49. This just in from our Lifestyle Desk:

    “Just hours after Jeff Bezos announced his divorce from wife of 25 years, MacKenzie, sources told PEOPLE he was dating former news anchor Lauren Sanchez.

    The 49-year-old reporter is also divorcing her husband of 13 years, Patrick Whitesell, one of Hollywood’s most powerful agents, PEOPLE confirms.”

    We now return you to the proceedings of the American Psychiatric Association …

  50. In the conversation about boys being boys, one important idea is always omitted.

    The reason post-pubescent boys act the way they do is to attract girls. Girls send positive and negative feedback regarding a boy’s actions. Boys are simply acting in a manner that maximizes their opportunities with the opposite sex.

    If society wants boys to not act like boys then girls will need to stop rewarding them for acting that way.

  51. I’m surprised that no one mentioned her body language. She is clearly leaning towards Jeff, even though Patrick has his arm around her.

  52. Any men here who have gotten engaged/married/started a family after the age of 33 with successful results? Successful being you are currently happy in life. Would like to hear some positive stories.

  53. I don’t think China will be good for Africa (Chinese man’s facial expressions say it all)

    Nonsense! Sudan, for example is over 90 percent Islamic and in China hundreds of thousands of Islamic internees are happy happy happy.
    So happy they sing, “If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands” for the visiting journalists.

    (this is far better than singing “Allah akbar KABLOOIE!” so maybe they’re onto something)

  54. Well, we may have supplanted Katharine McPhee as hypergamy’s poster girl with this Lauren Sanchez…

    For your consideration:


    2001 – Bro 1 – Tony Gonzalez – NFL Tight End

    Baby mama to one… not married.

    2003 – Bro 2 – Henry Simmons – NYPD Blue actor×300/c/h/chmjgqwz41x441x.jpg

    Engaged, but never married

    2005 – Bro 3 – Patrick Whitesell – William Morris Endeavor co-CEO – Net worth $300M

    Married, two kids

    2019 – Bro 4 – The Bezos – Founder Amazon… Net worth $120B – [soon to be $60B]

    Situation developing…

    [Rollo – you should do a March Madness style Hypergamy bracket…]

  55. Mod released…

    so like looking at the timeline here… Some guy might conclude something along the lines of “as a woman approaches the wall, her algorithm switches from Alpha Fux to Beta Bux” or something about provisioning…


  56. Waffles

    What’s your definition or ” happy ” because I think it matters somewhat. Different men will have variables pertaining to happiness. Many men see marriage as a restriction of some kind, and I’m not sure if a man can be really happy if he feels artificially bound and restricted.

    As to your question, I got married for the 2nd time at age 36, had my 2nd child at age 38. So I don’t know if I qualify to answer your question.

    Imo, ‘ happiness ‘ is mostly internal and mental. I have a great job…for now…. But I don’t expect for that job to provide happiness. I extract happiness from my work. When I can no longer find any happiness to extract, I will no longer work at that particular place of employment.

    I’d say I am content in marriage, and I extract happiness from it. It’s not my wife’s job to make me happy or entertain me in some fashion. I create and control the atmosphere within the marriage/family. That atmosphere is almost exactly the same as it would be if I were single, except now there is a specific group of people that benefit and share with me.

    I don’t see marriage as having increased my normal burden of performance as a man. It hasn’t sexually restricted me, in that I have a choice to do whatever I want to do it I’d ever find sex within marriage lacking or forced/fake. No hostages.

    I think that any man who would care to even consider marriage needs to vet for a partner that understands and shares his fire beliefs wrt what marriage is . You don’t just blythly wander down the aisle with der luv of mah life. It’s not necessary that you have ‘ so many things in common ‘, it is important that you have the core things in common.

    This means that a ‘ wife ‘ is difficult to locate.

    A marriage is not any kind of prerequisite for a man’s happiness. You can have children without marriage. You can live with a woman without being married. You can just bang them as much as your ability warrants and keep it moving. No one can pressure you into anything, unless they are holding a firearm.

    So am I.’ Happy ‘ in marriage? Well yeah, but I’d be happy without it as well. My wife is still very attractive at 51, and her attitude hasn’t made any tectonic shifts since she was 30. We are both entering a different life phase as we age and our daughter is embarking on her own life ( I’d bet Rollo could write an essay about what that’s like ).

    We still laugh and play and I still find her hot enough to tear her clothes off. My own mental ” test ” is when I talk to/game younger women, so I feel anything overtly sexual towards them? Because if I did, I would fuck them. I can find other women fun and attractive and sexy, but at the end of it all, I’d still rather go home and attack my wife. Choice.

    I think a lot of my beliefs were forged by having a ton of sex with a gigantic variety of women across the early stages of my life. It was instructive about women and even more instructive about myself and what I liked and wanted. I believe a man should at least have a double digit n count ( and pay attention…) Before considering marriage. Build up enough patience to sift through the prettiest, sexiest women you can so that you can ‘ see ‘ past those basics.

    In my case specifically, I’d known my wife for a decade before we’d started dating. After my divorce, I didn’t really want to spend a lot of time getting to know a chick enough to marry, yet I wanted another child. Wifey was the only candidate under any kind of consideration. Lol, she was pre-vetted.

    Post divorce I went in a tear, banging everybody😂 including a parade of extremely hot Russian and Brazilian strippers. Yet my mindset was elsewhere and none of the women I was pounding actually qualified for where I wanted to go.

    Not even the acrobatic squirters.

    So I made a choice. I didn’t have to ” sacrifice ‘ anything. Well, I did sell my 2 bedroom bachelor house for a 5 bedroom fixer upper, but I loved rehabbing houses.

    With all of that, I still understood that it could all go horribly wrong and come crashing down. My lovely wife could still walk out tomorrow.

    Ability and choice.

  57. @Blax

    Thanks for the post. The thing is I really don’t know what my definition is. I feel like I am constantly going through phases. I just turned 34 and really want to start a life and a family with someone and every now and then get a nervous pang that it won’t happen for some reason. I have a large group of friends, good social life, good job, hobbies, enjoy going to the gym and am in some of the best shape of my life. Women approach me, I can get dates and numbers, one night stands, just recently ended a casual 3 month relationship. But something just seems missing. I have taken the advice of just focusing on self improvement and seeing what happens and at times it is great and I feel on top of the world. At other times I just feel lost. Actually met 3 separate attractive women this past weekend in the real world (haven’t re-downloaded the apps) and have been feeling great about myself. You’re fit! You’re attractive! But it’s just…I have met plenty of great women but am finding it hard to vibe with one that ‘gets me’ if that makes sense. Guess I just need a re-affirmation that it is somehow possible in today’s world.

  58. Waffles

    “with one that ‘gets me’ if that makes sense. “

    Yeah that makes sense.

    It’s a fucking delusion, but it makes sense.

    Swallow that Red Pill allllllllll the way down. You cannot get validation from women or things.

  59. @Sentient

    Ha I know that though! And knew I would get called out for that. I have heard Rollo say it hundreds of times and I know it is a weak statement by me but I just can’t help it. I have swallowed the pill fully but in the famous words of X Files ‘I Want To Believe’ and to a degree I do base too much self worth on validation from women and things. Trying to work on that in 2019.

  60. Waffles

    ‘I Want To Believe’

    Yes this is EVIDENCE that you have NOT swallowed the pill alllll the way down. It is a symptom.

    You are in the “bargaining” phase…

    “Guys… I’m totally put together so I can “cheat” this hypergamy, burden thing…”

    PS – aren’t you the guy posting at CH in the past about your oneitis?

  61. Waffles

    I don’t think most people really know what makes them happy because they are looking externally. It’s important that you spend some time and reflect and think about what you actually want, then how to go about getting it.

    You gotta go through an awful lot of chicks to even begin to find a few that might meet your objectives ( it’s a dirty job, but someone’s gotta do it…😁). Objectively, there’s no such thing as ” it’s never going to happen”, but whether it’s going to happen the way that benefits you the most.

    Only you can make that determination.

    I first became a father at 24. I myself was born on my dad’s 23rd birthday. If anyone would have told me at 24 that I would have a child in my late 30s, I’d have rejected that notion wholeheartedly.

    It depends on your mindset in conjunction with What you want. 34 is young still, but if you have a life objective that entails cooperation of another person, you’ll have to figure out how to go about it as the clock will not stand still. Sure, men can have kids at any age. My great grandfather was still churning out kids well into his 60s, but are you built to deal with infants at later stages in life, or will you make the mistake of sitting on the sidelines and letting the wife deal with all of that stuff?

    Again, it’s more about you and less about her, who ever she might be.

  62. I have met plenty of great women but am finding it hard to vibe with one that ‘gets me’ if that makes sense.

    That makes sense in a Blue Pill sort of way. You are looking for a woman who understands what it’s like to be a man and empathizes with you. But that’s not possible. Women aren’t men and can’t really understand what it’s like to be a man.

    You need to figure out what a marriage/LTR looks like for a Red Pill man. How you choose your partner, etc.

    Blax will tell you to vet. I’ll tell you that vetting can be problematic and that you will have to do some training even if your vetting skills are top notch.

    I decided that I wanted to marry Mrs. Gamer because 1) beauty was acceptable, 2) she was feminine, 3) her voice was melodious when she was talking to me, 4) Mrs. Gamer was a smart, practical (somewhat) girl, 5) Mrs. Gamer was trained to reign in her hypergamy, so the risk of cheating was low, 6) I thought that the risk of divorce was low (it was, but I neglected to factor in my ability to screw up).

  63. “The main thrust of the subsequent research is that traditional masculinity—marked by stoicism, competitiveness, dominance and aggression—is, on the whole, harmful.”

    Not surprised…but man! It’s basically being institutionalised.

  64. @Sentient

    Haven’t been over CH in a bit but frequently posted there as well so probably and yes it did take me about 15 months to get over that LTR. I definitely am past the bargaining stage because I sure as hell know I went through the depression phase lol. I know I cannot beat hypergamy. I have learned from past mistakes and I get it. I know my happiness is entirely up to me. I read Rollo’s twitter every day and am constantly reminded of red pill truths. I have swallowed the entire pill. My life is better and has been better. Just looking for a positive story or two from the older guys. If you are going to beat me down for that please just save it.

  65. Waffles

    The best validation you will get from her is when all your stuff and property suddenly becomes “ours” or even some of it like the kitchen becomes hes if your really good. Get used to it, not equals.

  66. Waffles

    If you are going to beat me down for that please just save it.

    lol. I’m pointing out you ain’t over bargaining. Sure with THAT one girl perhaps, not with WOMEN…

    It’s your life, do as you please…

    I will point out if you are off course just 1 degree you will end up off course 92 feet after a mile…+

    How many miles ya got in ya?

  67. @blax @asd

    Maybe instead of ‘gets me’ I mean ‘complements me’. Not looking for a woman who understands what it’s like to be a man, which is impossible. Maybe I am just chasing that chemical high from when there was visceral raw energy and synergy with someone from the opposite sex. Not just sex or mind blowing sex which is well and good but that ineffable oxytocin flooding your brain animal magnetism that I have experienced before. So many variables to consider for how to move forward indeed to get to where I truly want to be.

    And @sentient OK, what’s your prescription? What’s your advice?

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