Borderline Personality Disorder

“Were you just looking at her?!! WERE YOU?!!,..I bet you just wanna fuck her don’t you?,.. DON’T YOUUU!!!”

One curious aspect of the manosphere community is it’s tendency to pick up on what I’d call ‘pet pathologies’. It’s very easy and comforting to ascribe a general lack of social intelligence or a retardation in social maturity on Asperger’s Syndrome. I’m not suggesting that Asperger’s isn’t a legitimate pathology, but I think the frequency with which men will conveniently attribute their social awkwardness to it delegitimizes the real illness. Most Betas often report a discomfort with approaches and Game in general because of varying degrees of social anxiety that they’ve internalized for the better part of their lives.

So, it’s a much simpler premise to attribute this to a psychological disorder than to admit that they’ve got a lot of work ahead of them in unlearning the hinderances the’ve been conditioned to believe about themselves for so long. I’m not saying guys (why is it rarely women?) don’t have Asperger’s, but I think some real introspection is due before diagnosing it for themselves. Another neurosis that gets attributed to women in the manosphere is BPD, Borderline Personality Disorder:

*DSM-IV-TR Diagnostic Criteria A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships,  self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following: Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days). Chronic feelings of emptiness. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights). Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

I struggled with deciding whether to write about this because in our current intergender environment, it’s very easy to conveniently ascribe these symptoms and tendencies to the ‘psycho bitches’ that men often complain about. She’s crazy in bed, but she’s also crazy out of bed. I would doubt that there’s a man dating in the last decade who hasn’t encountered one or some combination of neurosis listed in this clinical diagnosis with a woman he’s dating or has dated.

As the gender landscape has developed in the last 40 years, so to has the variety of  psychoses. So it’s for this reason that I think understanding true BPD neurosis in comparison to the common anxieties of insecurity that women are prone needs to be explored.

True BPDs

I had an LTR with a BPD woman for 4 years when I was in my 20s and I can tell you from experience, it’s nothing to laugh at or take lightly. It’s particularly damaging for AFCs locked into a BPDs negative feedback loop, especially when he’s developed a soul destroying ONEitis with her and associates himself as the source of her depression / psychosis.

True BPDs progressively convince their victims that they are the source of her neurosis. You are not yourself, you are who she’s molding you to be, and eventually you’ll come to believe that it’s in your best interest – indeed, your responsibility – to be who she wants you to be to sustain that neurosis.

You will gradually give up on your family and friends (or they give up on you), you will drop all ambitions and passions that directly focus on you, and you will abandon any genuine, independent identity you held for yourself, all because these are threats to the neurotic narrative she constructs for herself and lives out.

She will reward your conversion to her psychosis with the intermittent reward of crazy hot sex, but this is simply the reinforcer to keep you locked into her narrative. The YOU you know will cease to exist and the character she creates for you will take over. This is especially true for beta chumps who see their BPD as their best, only option for a long term romantic prospect. She’s an HB 9 (to him) and he’s never fucked better than a 5 in his whole life, so the risk of catastrophic loss is real and ever-present. It’s fate that brought them together, and if he can only help allay her fears they can live happily ever after.

In the latter stages of a BPD relationship you will get to the point where her overt cuckolding of you is an acceptable situation. You think you’ll mitigate it by negotiating some “open relationship” status with her. You will internalize the reasoning that negotiating for her desire is preferable to losing her. You’ll propose that an open relationship means you’re both free to fuck other parties, when in reality it’s the only way you can rationalize for yourself the fact that she’s going to go fuck other guys, and you’re going to accept it because you’re locked into her neurosis. It’s your fault she feels compelled to fuck other guys – and you’ll believe it.

That, or the mere suggestion of you being interested in sex with another woman will send her into fits of jealous, histrionic rage. You’re living in fear. You’re afraid she’ll commit suicide if you uproot yourself (a classic BPD unspoken threat), but trust me on this, it’ll be you who swallows a bullet long before she ever will. I’ve personally known two men who’ve done just this, and another who hung himself as the result of a BPD relationship.

I know it seems like most of the friends you still do have are simply passing you off by saying “get out” and move on, but your life literally depends on you doing so. Cutting you off and disengaging you from external perspectives about your twisted relationship is essential to a BPD’s neurosis. Eventually your friends and family will give up on the ‘new you’.

Also, I must add this, when and if you do finally muster the self-concern enough to actually leave her, expect a complete about-face in her mentality and behavior. The one thing a true BPD loathes more than her victim is the thought of having to ensnare another. There are plenty of other Beta chumps ready to fill that role, but the comfort and easy predictability you represent to her in the present builds an emotional dependency. BPDs will fight like wild animals not to lose their victim, so expect an extinction burst from her the likes of which are unimaginable.

For a guy so accustomed to her neurotic behavior, his first impression is that she’s making some real change for him in order to “improve the relationship.” It’s not, but so radical a shift in her behavior will convince you otherwise, and cause you to doubt her deception, particularly when you yourself have no options and believe you’ll never do any better than her.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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A.B. Dada
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A.B. Dada
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See: my ex-wife.

Even a decade later, she’s still absolutely, positively crazy. Stalky crazy.

Rollo Tomassi
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I got chills when I proof read this.

A.B. Dada
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A.B. Dada
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I did, too, while reading it the first time.

My ex was one of the most popular gals in Chicago when I met her. Openly dating rock stars, red carpet shit, crazy beautiful, mistaken for Gwen Stefani almost every day of her early 20s.

Things were beautiful, until she started drinking again.

Now I’m a million bucks poorer. What a fucking beta white knight was I.

Dan
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These mental disorders are especially toxic to kids who have mothers who are crazy like this. As in my case, my mother was/is crazy with extreme anger issues (her parents were negative and angry too). Her insecure bf’s have hated and were jealous of me because they knew I was stronger/better than them. For me the saying applied, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” as I was forced to live in this whirlwind. However, as a kid trying to please a crazy/angry mother who will never be happy (my first awareness of hypergamy) began to turn me into an… Read more »

xsplat
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BPD is just and extreme version of being a woman. I’ve estimates of it’s prevalence among women ranging from from 4% to 18%. So nearly all men have dated women who occasionally show BPD traits, and most of us will at some time date at least one full blown BPD nutjob. I’ve heard it said that at least twice as many women as men have this. Aspergers is more common among men. It’s a sex biased developmental fuck up. In the case of BPD I’m not convinced that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. It can be damaging as… Read more »

Rollo Tomassi
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When I was dealing with my BPD in the early-mid 90’s there was no clinical diagnosis for BPD. It was all “that’s just how women are”. Only when I got to university and studied psychology did I really connect the dots and realize the amazing clusterfuck I endured – and how fortunate I was to have gotten out with my life. I can’t even begin to describe the oppressive jealousy, the public fighting and bitching, followed by porn movie sex, then get religious guilt, and then have her see some magazine cover with a bikini model on it in line… Read more »

Raider
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Sadly I think that’s very true: BPD is just an extreme version of a normal American woman. Which is why women never want to talk about BPD – they all have a gal-pal who is just like that, maybe a sister … or maybe she just needs to look in the mirror. I, too, got the chills reading this. My ex-wife to a “t” in all ways. Truly crazy, malignantly so: multiple suicide attempts (some convincingly faked to manipulate me, some very real, right before my eyes), gunplay, hardcore violence, etc. The Full BPD Monty. Imagine what that divorce was… Read more »

A.B. Dada
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Yeah, my ex-wife had a suicide attempt where she literally bled all over my brand new linens that she “told” me to buy just a few weeks earlier. $1800 down the tube.

Lucky for me, I never knocked her up. Holy shit that was an entire platoon’s worth of bullets I dodged.

A.B. Dada
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She ever get the “crazy eyes” that you knew was going to lead to trouble?

A.B. Dada
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A.B. Dada
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First!

A.B. Dada
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A.B. Dada
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Really thought you’d be curious about my ex-wife here!

A.B. Dada
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More fucked up stories about my personal life story! Look how callous and cool I am!

A.B. Dada
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A.B. Dada
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Rollo, you’re so much more accessible than Heartiste! Going to take every opportunity I can to be bff’s with you!

xsplat
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Roughly 10% of people with BPD successfully suicide.

So the suicide attempts aren’t always only bogus.

Real or not though, it’s no form of blackmail anyone should have to put up with. Which is why when dealing with BPD the main and most important issue is the escape strategy.

xsplat
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Clarification: the escape strategy is important not to avoid her killing herself – it’s to avoid negative repercussions to yourself from her freak out when you leave. And I hear you about the living hell stuff. I seemed to have decided that I needed to go through BPD hell multiple times. I seemed to have had enough kicks to the head to learn something though. Last year a girl had an abandonment freak out and pulled out out a knife and threatened to cut, and I just pushed her aside and starting walking out the door. Of course she grabbed… Read more »

xsplat
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If you think BPD is an extreme version of being an American woman, you’ve not yet been to SE Asia. I’m certain it is far more prevalent here.

It is a developmental disorder that may have often include genetic predispositions and usually includes environmental triggers such as childhood abuse, especially sexual abuse. Incest is insanely common in SE Asia.

dc1000
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seriously guy. just stop. enough.

dc1000
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dc1000
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hahaha ok I get it now. let the mocking continue

A.B. Dada
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I just. cant. stop. talking. about. myself. ever. EVER

JG
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Dan said: “Therefore, because of my BPD mother, observing my friends also deal with gf’s/wives with BPD, and after learning about/internalizing/living out game; I will never for my own well-being live with women for more than a few days (if we happen to go somewhere for a weekend, thereby inadvertently making myself unattainable that makes women want me even more because they can never have me for more than a few days or months), plus I will never get financially tied up with anyone (especially women) and this personally increases my own independence/freedom/happiness (and women seem to like men like… Read more »

A.B. Dada
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I own around 15 or so trolls on the web. For some reason, they seem to have plenty of time to try to rile me up, but over the years it just seems to build reputation rather than degrade it.

Trolls will be trolls, yours truly included.

A.B. Dada
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This is when it’s important to have your smartphone recording in your pocket if you EVER interact with someone in the future who has BPD. I don’t let them have a second try — not even friends. But if I know a guy is dating a gal who has these “freak outs”, I tell them to record those freakouts, store them safely away in MP3 format, and if the gal ever threatens them, just let her know you’ve recorded all of her abusive comments in the past. In some states, you can’t legally use 1-party recordings, but it usually will… Read more »

Deep Dish
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Are there any realistic movies on BPD? I’ve seen Fatal Attraction and Girl Interrupted (watched it a few nights ago). I understand Girl Interrupted highlighted a few characteristics but wasn’t a comprehensive portrayal, and I don’t know how realistic was Fatal Attraction.

A.B. Dada
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Single White Female.

Also, Gaslight from the 70s is a classic.

Dan
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Dan
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Respectfully A.B. with good humor; It sounds like maybe A.B. was the inspiration for the songs by Gwen, “Sweet Escape” and “Keep on Dancing.” Ha. Just joking around.

YaReally
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YaReally
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lol

YaReally
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How much did something you did cost again? Could you drop in a dollar amount of some sort? And were you traveling to, from, or in some exotic location on one of your many business ventures? Did you rock climb or skydive while you were there? I’m really curious!!!

YaReally
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YaReally
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Oops that was a reply to the troll. Now it just seems mean-spirited lol

D-Man
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Getting involved with certain women, unprepared, can really take a toll on a guy. They can certainly fry your nervous system and make you question your own sanity and most deeply held beliefs. The White Knight in you will be bloodied. You will emerge – if you’re lucky – with a generous ration of bitter cynicism, a healthier set of boundaries, and a hair-trigger red flag mechanism. I liken this to an immunity of sorts. I wrote a fake online dating ad awhile back, never intending to post it. I pretend to be looking for one of these girls, since… Read more »

Dan
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Listening to Avicii “Levels (Original Mix)” and 2 Unlimited “Get Ready For This” and thinking, maybe a good thing about this for game would be to figure that basically all women are crazy. This 1. protects yourself from getting too caught up with any particular woman only to have her go crazy and harm you because you are prepared for the possibility of it and your exit before hand, and 2. when approaching/interacting with women her looks don’t matter (in that some guys are thrown off by the looks of some women) so figuring she’s crazy takes the focus off… Read more »

NoReally
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Can you tell us again about how many women leap on your cock the instant you walk into a club? And how badass you are because bouncers love you and pay YOU money to come in?

Aaron
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The worst is the radical skepticism about all of your own thoughts and perceptions. This only lasted a very short while with me before I made the comparison to reading the writing of postmodernists/certain continental philosophers: many people read this shit and think, “I must be too stupid to get this profundity!” But we know it is really they who are incoherent. The one simplest and most important thing to do is establish boundaries and don’t budge a fucking inch. She might cry, she might call you “mean” or “cruel,” or something comparable, but this is just manipulation; she’s trying… Read more »

Aaron
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(e.g. she’ll freely swear and call you any name or curse word, but if you do it back just once you won’t get out of that argument without a few scratch marks on your hands.)

anonymous x
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Google “walking on eggshells” for the literature that is now available for it that wasn’t available 20 years ago. I still shiver when I think about mine yet she wasn’t as bad as others I’ve heard of. I will say though that while many women do have flashes of this behavior, not nearly so many are full blown BPD. Vitally important to distinguish the latter from the rest if an LTR is your goal.

Play Misty For Me is another BPD at the movies.

YaReally
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10 as soon as I walk through the door. 0 once those 10 walk out of the men’s room stall looking disappointed. sad

anonymous
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But are there ANY girls, at all, who can fully say they have none of the above “symptoms” ever, at all? I doubt it. There’s no such thing as a White Knightress either, right? I like this blog, it’s smart. I’m interested in knowing more about the female perspective though. Because for now the PUA blogs seem to portray women as scheming yet attractive egg layers. Or do you know of any smart female counterparts to this blog, something that would make sense of it both ways? Big up for writing though.

Aaron
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I’ve been on the look out for this for a while now, but it’s rare/non-existent. Google “shrink for men” and go to that wordpress blog for a woman talking about it…but she’s in total agreement with everyone here. I’ve heard another female shrink say “men and women perceive things differently, women place importance on feelings before facts, and men facts before feelings.” Which was a polite concession that many women are simply a bit nutty. Imagine trying to settle a disagreement like that outside a relationship, say in the workplace? “Oh John and Mike have different argumentation styles; with John… Read more »

Anton
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Yes, BPDs rather routinely claim to be pregnant, then when no baby shows up, to have had a miscarriage. Should be in the DSM…

Anton
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Anton
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Worst experience of my life, by far.

qwerty@uiop.nl
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A partner with BPD is no cakewalk. They’re women with all the bads (hysterical, helpless, manipulative) and goods (sexy, feminine) womanisms amplified, excepting the normal ones (homely, family-oriented). You’d do well to never get involved with them, but most man will never be this wise. They’ll only see the seductive appearance and will fall for it, try it out. “It won’t be this bad…” Again and again. Angelina Jolie in “Gia” is the most powerful depiction of low-functioning BPD I ever saw. Thankfully she only ruined herself. Fatal Attraction, up until the bunny boiler scene (in which she transformed more… Read more »

Aaron
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That’s entirely wrong. Try it with a real BPD.

I meant when you’re in any relationship, especially a new one, establish boundaries this way and it will filter out the crazies from the non-crazies. But yes if she is really BPD it’s always an uphill battle because you’re constricting yourself with reason and conscience.

some chick who wants to know why she is a target
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So I have a question, what if the guy who is playing the game assumes that the woman he’s playing is a BPD and takes preemptive measures to make sure that the woman goes down that path? Even to the point of encouraging suicide? I’m not trying to say that I’m a perfect woman. I do understand and have always understood that I have my own issues. I got picked up by a guy who was insistent that I am crazy simply because I wanted him to stop running sets and listen to what I wanted so that we could… Read more »

some chick who wants to know why she is a target
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Once again, I was accused of being the kind of woman who does this. That isn’t true. It never was. I am so insulted and so angry about being insulted! I know you guys reading these posts are saying to yourselves oh here goes another one! I tried to explain to this guy my values and my perspective on the women who trick men by getting pregnant, but he didn’t beleive me or wasn’t listening. THIS IS SO FUCKING UNFAIR! You men are such fools. All of you. I used to love men. I had such respect. I’m just here… Read more »

some chick who wants to know why she is a target
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You know I think you are right. Our society has created a systematic destruction of the female psyches. Every one is divorced so all daughters have some kind of issues with thier fathers. So it’s easy to assume that all women have the same “daddy issue” thing going on. Or what ever kind of psychosis you want to assign to her, the problem is, none of you are professionals. And none of you wait to get to know the girl long enough to determine who she is. Spending a few nights stalking her through a bar does not count as… Read more »

some chick who wants to know why she is a target
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YOu know that story sounds really familiar to me. My mom was like this and was a hoarder on top of it. She used to tell me she hated me everyday and that she hated being my mother. And the fucked up thing is I’m adopted. All the things she is still angry about are not my problem. I used to work really hard to make sure that I was nothing like her. But it is obvious now that a fun, happy person isn’t what people see when they look at me. Every body sees me as someone who is… Read more »

Maciano
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I guess there are some sick puppies out there who have an axe to grind with women or BPDs, either out of past grievences or sheer pleasure for seeing someone suffer. Both are cruel intentions, both are only found among people who should look in the mirror and face some inner demons first. Why would someone steer a BPD, whatever shrew she might be, into suicide? That man is a sick character himself. OTOH, BPDs have a way of twisting something unfortunate that happened — getting used by a guy for sex, harshly dumped while being in love — into… Read more »

Maciano
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“I meant when you’re in any relationship, especially a new one, establish boundaries this way and it will filter out the crazies from the non-crazies.”

I agree with this 100%.

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[…] feminine seduction skills have been replaced with emotional and psychological manipulations (see BPD) in order to make men comply with their imperatives as a result of having abandoned […]

lee
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lee
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I think I might have this problem. Any chance you could shoot me an email to give me some advice?

JJ
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Well, I had an on again, off again with a BPD chick for 3 years. Last go round was my last, at least for me. I was done, and began to withdraw. She left in a rage after biting my hand while trying to pry my phone away from me. Well, two weeks later she texts me that she is pregnant. I meet her, trying to do the right thing. After 2 weeks of utter insanity and entitlement peppered with lots of domestic violence on her part, I filed a protective order and felony charges for theft. 2 months ago… Read more »

Pete
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I agree. Stand up to them or get the fuck out. During the honeymoon phase, this crazy nut convinced me she was the real thing. Pregnant within a few months and started acting out. Once the baby was born, she was out the door. It is ok for them to behave in a crazy emotionally irrational way but don’t show any signs of frustration. I was lucky cause she doesn’t want me, yet.

obviously the guy who's been ranting on another post about this, getting more out
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Wow, this article on BPD is EXACTLY what I have just gone through. I mean everything. Plus more; I forgot about the pretending she was pregnant thing, that happend on occasion – always when she accidentally didn’t take her pill, or decided to switch from pill to no pill for whatever fucking reason. I think I just fell in love with the prototype BPD. I wish I had listened to myself before I got into it. I knew her for 8 years before I began officially dating her. Before that I just viewed her as a slut that I really… Read more »

obviously the guy who's been ranting on another post about this, getting more out
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and no I have not contacted her, nor did I attempt to after we broke up beyond one call after calling her back – before I knew this was the real deal her making a huge fucking scene type of break up. 4 days ago we broke up for the nth time, 2 days ago I get a civil paper served to me for what I perceive being me not trying to get back together with her. 2 days before that we had the best sex I’ve ever had with her, hands down. I just want her to know, to… Read more »

trying to move on
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I finally broke up with my (most likely) bpd girlfriend of a year and a half. It happened primarily because of this being long distance, but the immediate cause had to do with trust and respect issues. In effect, I felt that I had no other option than to walk away. “I don’t know if it’s like this for everyone, but the “fated” thing, like feeling FATE brought you together, I mean didn’t it really really seem like it, were circumstances just insane and coincidences just too huge to overlook when you were brought together, even if it was time… Read more »

driveallnight
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driveallnight
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Ahem. You’ve read Rollo’s post concerning broads + things supernatural?

tom
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BPD? jesus, this is exactly my (finally i dumped the b***h) ex-gf… this kind of shit can actually kill you, even though i was enough fucked up to keep it up for 10 yrs… crazy…. CRAZY, well even better: totally insane. i think the worst of all of this is that you can start a LTR like the boldest rake, the grl become enchanted by it, but than her BPDing turns you in a neurotic chump… and guess what? the problem (her problem, your problem, the villain of the world) are now you yourself… well untill you learn how it… Read more »

trying to move on
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trying to move on
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No I don’t think I have…? Which one is it?

Rollo Tomassi
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[…] nervous that any slight might mean the end of what was really a twisted, adolescent level BPD relationship. You cannot live like that forever; you will break it off, or you will commit suicide. […]

S
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S
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Oh, you had a BPD ex. This explains the overt misogyny.

Rollo Tomassi
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[…] I was completely unprepared for it. I was an AFC (really a recovering AFC by that point due to a psychotic  relationship prior to all this) and there was no community back then to inform me otherwise. I had read some of […]

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[…] was about 26 when I was in the waning days of dealing with the neurotic hell that was the BPD woman I had become psychologically ensnared with for almost 3 years at that time. I was sitting in […]

WornOut76
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Here is my story…I met my ex 3 years ago online…we spoke online/on the phone for the first year, after that year I quit my job and moved to her small town to be with her, so I moved into her place and that lasted for 3.5 months till she kicked me out because all we do is argue she said, which was kinda true, but she was the cause of most arguments..5 days after she kicks me out she sleeps with an old FWB (how nice) Anyways a few weeks later we decide to give it another try, so… Read more »

gecko
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I found this site while trying to understand my BPD ex boyfriend’s relationship with his BPD Mom. I agree with so much of the above. As a woman, this is not at all normal. BPD women target women as well, especially if you are percieved as a threat. Anything and everything will make you a threat. The BPD male is an equally scarry beast. Imagine your BPD partner in their wildest rage. Now picture them with 100 lbs of muscle on them and punching anything (and at times anyone in sight.) There is no reasoning with their logic. Just back… Read more »

David O'Garr
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As a man with BPD, I have to tell you that your understanding of the disorder is very superficial and your post comes off in a way that promotes stigma against those of us who are enduring and surviving with Borderline Personality Disorder. I will not deny that the things that happened to you are probably truthful, and you should probably keep in mind that she was doing the best that she could with the tools that she had available. My BPD manifests quite differently, in fact I use it as a shield so I don’t get close to people… Read more »

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[…] AFC extremisim comes into play. Honestly, I think this degree of an AFC mentality is comparable to Borderline Personality Disorder in neurotic […]

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[…] AFC extremisim comes into play. Honestly, I think this degree of an AFC mentality is comparable to Borderline Personality Disorder in neurotic […]

Marie
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As a full-blown BPD struggling with an LTR, I can definitely understand where these words are coming from. On the other hand, I’d like to see even one sentence (or comment) dedicated to the thought of actually attempting to help your BPD partner overcome her (or his) illness. As much as you have suffered, we with BPD are the ones who are not able to walk away from ourselves and the relationships we struggle so hard to maintain in our own crippled way. We suffer. A LOT. People with BPD are not lost causes and it pains me to see… Read more »

missmollyswork
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missmollyswork
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I scrolled all the way through looking for a post like Marie’s. This post and the ensuing comments made me very sad for the people who truly struggle with this disorder. I am female, dating a male BPD. It’s a nightmare sometimes, I won’t lie. And I get a LOT of advice about how I should just get the hell out of there and have nothing to do with him. And it’s probably not bad advice for me. But it’s terrible advice for him. People struggling with BPD need friends, family and lovers who understand their disorder and have a… Read more »

Kathie
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Kathie
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I agree with Marie and missmollyswork above. However, it doesn’t matter how much the BPD needs “love, support” etc. If the relationship is getting to the abusive level, physically OR emotionally, you MUST separate yourself from the situation. Men take note – The female BPD’s main weapon is sex, to pull you back into a never ending cycle of dispair. This in itself is a form of abuse. No contact with a BPD like this is the only way to go. If they stalk/hassle/threaten you, do not back down. Do not discuss any of this with them, do NOT contact… Read more »

Horriblemonster
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Horriblemonster
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I have bpd….and sharin stones character in that movie cadino whete she plays ginger…i have acted almost EXACTLY like that in my relationships. Lol any

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Sherpa
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Sherpa
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The best BPD movie, by far, is ‘Prozac Nation’. An incredible portrayal of how a hard-driving, narcissistic mother and an abandoning father created the fertile soil for BPD seeds to grow… turning a college hottie into a ‘nightmare girlfriend’.

Shanon (@MartianBrothel)
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I’ve been blogging about my experiences with BPD men and after a couple of years of therapy, I have put together some tips on how identify them. It’s not based purely on the “symptoms,” but focuses more on you feel around them.

Plenty of people may have these symptoms, but not the actual disorder. I’ve found it helpful to learn how to listen to my own reaction to someone, rather than trying to make a list of their faults and personality traits. It’s a much better system, in my opinion.

Boderline Boys (and 6 Ways to Spot Them)
http://strangedaysinthecity.wordpress.com/2013/05/02/boderline-boys-and-6-ways-to-spot-them/

pissheads
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pissheads
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Just fyi for you betas who failed to acknowledge the main cause of BPD in anyone (not just women). It is sexual abuse or trauma experienced in childhood that develops into a mood disorder which causes suicidal ideation in 75% of individuals. An “extreme case of the American women” is another poor excuse to stigmatise those who suffer from mental illness.

Clamato
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Clamato
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Avoid these women/people at all costs. There is no excuse when denial is denial. Sorry. It’s that simple.

Untreated BPDs in denial are the worst people out there. True vampires.

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[…] bit off more than you could chew with a feminist/activist/amateur webcam porn BPD neurotic bitch,..join the club. Now at least you’ll have something in common with over half the guys in the manosphere. The […]

bleep
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bleep
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@ab dada. At first I sympathized with you, then when I read about bed sheets I was like wtf?? The woman is so distressed that she wants to die and is trying to kill herself, and all you can think about is the f*cking bedsheets? Seriously? Is her life not worth more than 1800 bucks? It also seems you married her mainly for her looks, yet you consider yourself a knight of sorts. I have bpd, I admit my issues, but I avoid dating alltogether because men have such little empathy. They are sex driven and calloused and I dont… Read more »

Meet
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Meet
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Mr. Tomassi, I got your book 2 days ago on my Kindle and since then have barely slept (about 4 hours a day). Did not go to work as I cannot help but read your blog / book over and over again. My brain hurts but I want more, I suppose it is the unplugged Neo learning Jujitsu and wanting more. What you have put on this blog is 4 years of my life (wasted). I was timid then but what you have mentioned is the brutal reality. I wish someone could have punched me in the faces and told… Read more »

kb
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kb
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I don’t understand the the Feminist agenda. I am very pro woman, but they do not address the mental issues women do have, such as the majority endure BPD. My wife who suffers from this I took to the emergency ward of Bostons Brigham and Women’s hospital. She was having a breakdown, and to get immediate care she claimed she was suicidal. Once inside the ER they wanted to know why I had scratch marks all over my face. She had no physical injuries. Once they came to the conclusion it was not a legal matter, even though I was… Read more »

John
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John
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I’ve had a relationship with one for seven years. And yes, I eventually loved her, despite her lunacy. But only because I’m a sane, stable human being. To anyone reading this, thinking you will ‘win’ her over, forget it.Your persistance and patience are a joke to her, inwardly. And when she does temporarily come back around, it’ll be because something else — entirely separate from you, once her prime subject — has temporarily cheered her up. It could be money, someone offended them, it could be new male attention, anything. It is never about the other person who actually cares… Read more »

00000
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00000
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Wow, you guys are sick. You call people with mental illness crazy? Really? How immature. You diverse what you got.

John
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John
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Oh sure, ooooo’! Healthy people who’ve been burned by those with the perverse, lying, hypersexualised, cheating, manipulative, selfish emotional disorder known as BPD are the sick ones. Sure. You lying, filthy ****ing ignoramus.

BPD thinking: right is left, and left is right. Healthy is sick, sick is healthy. k’outta here.

Tam the Bam
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Tam the Bam
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10:”you guys are sick.”
15: sick = Bad and Shameful
20: “You call people with mental illness crazy”.
25: Shaming sick people by calling them sick people = sick
30: GOTO 15

tj
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tj
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I’m in a situation with who, I consider to be a BPD female, as I type this. A few posts have mentioned “fate”, like chance meetings and linear paths crossing at very ironic and eerily coincidental moments in time. I too, have had these moments happen to the both of us. In one instance, I had visions of having a child with her, a daughter. Very vivid, heart-felt and tear-jerking types of visions, which I’ve never had with any other women. Now, I used to think it was God’s syncronicty at work, His divine plan unfolding in our lives. Now… Read more »

kingy
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kingy
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hi everyone. I have been in the most craziest relationships ive ever had for the past year till it suddenly ended 2 weeks ago.i really thought she was the one .i knew she had a few issues as everyone does.at first they were small so i thought i could help her to get over her bad evil ex partner.thats according to her.horrible mistake!!!! .i had no idea what bpd was untill a friend explained what it was.i thought I was going crazy.so I got on the net.thank you for your blogs and good advice. its definitely helped me understand the… Read more »

Heather F.
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Heather F.
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I am an Alpha Woman and attract man after man like this. There is nothing you can do to stop a BPD sufferer except scorched earth policy, no mercy, ruthless detachment from them followed by repeated brutal blows until they shatter and crawl away.

It’s amazing, I can be simply walking down the street and it’s like every BPD male in a 50 mile vicinity can smell my pheromones and closes in.

I am lesbian and not interested in these men.

Life for me is hell.

Titanic
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Titanic
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Not to diminish your experience Rollo, I agree that BPD is tossed around way to casually.

Another term that seems frequently used without much rigor is codependency. Can/have you written about that?

Frank
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Frank
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Borderlines are cunts. Pure and simple.

andy
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andy
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Your girl sounds like Narcissistic Personality Disorder rather than BPD. There is a big difference.

Paul Bond
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Paul Bond
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Border line personality disorder is a type of psychological disorder which changes the mood. People who are suffering with borderline personality disorder along with anxiety can be treated with the dialectical behavior therapy.

John Doe
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John Doe
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Fuck all the bitches with bpd. They ruined my life.

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[…] worst was the 4 years I spent with a BPD girlfriend. I did a post on it. I was in the pit of blue pill hell and pushed to the brink. I didn’t […]

LiveFearless
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On Sunday Oct. 19th at 5:20 p.m. BPD feature film “Imagine I’m Beautiful” is showing in Hollywood. in Hollywood

Immediately it, the Director, the Writer/Lead Actress that plays the BPD character “Lana” and a panel of mental health professionals will be there to discuss the film and BPD. You can educate/add to the conversation if you’re nearby.

LiveFearless
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It begins with one perceived mistake:

Don
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Don
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BPD are sick who never get treatment. Atleast a majority of them never accept their responsibility. They eat you away inch by inch, blaming you for everything.

RUN RUN from them if you want to live a life.

margott
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margott
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Definitely the most misunderstood out of the ‘Cluster B’. anybody, who is interested… I would recommend to google Dr. George K. Simon. BPD can be found in most innocent people (doesn’t mean the don’t cause problems to others, but they suffer too and this sub-group of the BPD is the only one, who do manipulation etc subconsciously). the rest of the cluster B act COUCIOUSLY, THEY KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THEY DO, DON’T GET TRUPPED BY OLD APPROACHES. Just read, you’ll be surprized!!

margott
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margott
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I wanted to say poorely understood…big difference

margott
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margott
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I forgot, while BPDs on the above mentioned end of the continuum (good ones), are the only ones with human emotions, out of cluster B, they are the worst, if/when IT GOES TOGETHR WITH PSYCHOPATHY, I.E. BPD PSYCHO IS THE WORST.

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