Law 16: Use Absence to Increase Respect and Honor
Too much circulation makes the price go down: The more you are seen and heard from, the more common you appear. If you are already established in a group, temporary withdrawal from it will make you more talked about, even more admired. You must learn when to leave. Create value through scarcity.
Plate Theory is for your benefit, not for women’s. That might sound harsh, but it’s a method intended to increase your value as a commodity that works on two levels. First, the external – by practicing honest, non-exclusive dating you communicate to your prospective plates that you are in demand. I’ve gone so far as to tell men to foster this sense by never answering the phone from Friday to Sunday evening, even when they have no other plans. The perception that your attention is sought after increases it’s value – it’s when men are too eager to get with a woman that their attention becomes worthless and IL declines. Nothing serves a man better than having 3 or 4 women competing for his exclusive attention and fostering in them that feminine competitivie anxiety in as subtle and covert a way as possible. It’s a real art that women are all too familiar with. Women are natural plate theorists, they simply use their varying degrees of physical attractiveness to line their plates up.
Secondly, plate theory is for a man’s own internal benefit. As I said in my original thread, it’s much easier for a man not to give a shit if he truly doesn’t give a shit. It’s far easier to deal with women on the basis of indifference when you have a subconscious knowledge that there are at least 3 other women who’ll be happy to have your attention if one plays games with you.
You will invariably pass most shit tests in this fashion. The reason men fail most shit tests is because they subconsciously telegraph too much interest in a single woman. Essentially a shit test is used by women to determine one, or a combination of these factors:
a.) Confidence – first and foremost
b.) Options – is this guy really into me because I’m ‘special’ or am I his only option?
c.) Security – is this guy capable of providing me with long term security?
By practicing Plate Theory, your mental attitude will be such (or should be such) that you will pass most shit test based simply on this practice. Abundance thinking is the root of Plate Theory. A lot has been written about approaching women (and really life in general) from a position of Abundance. People often make the mistake of assuming that having a wide variety of choices tends to cheapen the commodity, and to a degree this is accurate, but it also allows for a better, learned awareness of which choice amongst the pool is common and which is of higher quality.
,…but Rollo, I’m so busy that I have no choice but to ignore and postpone. They sense it and seek me out. I worry that I’ll create crazies. My weekends are jammed. At what point do we stop?
This is a the best problem you can have. You’ve successfully flipped the script; you’ve gotten to a point where it becomes instinctive and your plates actively seek out your attention. By default, you’re creating value by scarcity. At what point do you stop? How old are you? If you’re under 30 stay in the game. If you’re over 30, stay in the game, but cool things off occasionally – the only time a man should even contemplate monogamy is after experiencing abundance. If you’re innundated with women occupying your weekends, consider hooking up with a proven plate on a Thursday evening and reserve your weekends for your other pursuits.
Also, don’t be afraid to clear your schedule to hang out with friends or do other things that interest you. Remember, scarcity increases value. Too many guys think that plate spinning is something that needs a constant effort, it doesn’t. In fact applying yourself equally across all your active plates only pushes you closer to settling for one or two. Most guys think that they have to continually spin their plates, you don’t; if you’re doing it correctly they’ll spin themselves for you. The anxiety is that if you don’t keep applying attention to any one plate she’ll lose interest and fall off. Sometimes this is the case and you have to be prepared to accept it, some plates have to break in order to spin more, and that’s OK. More often than not however, your scarcity will create value and mystique, thus they will pursue you for their affirmation.
Plate theory of course can be a means to an LTR, but bear in mind that it’s essential that you practice it long enough and effectively enough to determine what a quality woman means to you and how to recognize her. As with most Game skills, the AFC will use them to some degree of success up to the point that he finds his idealized “girl of his dreams” and launch into a self-destructive LTR because his idealization was based on juvenile impressions rather than a mature understanding of what a quality woman’s characteristics are. This is all due to a lack of concrete experience.
Spin plates for as long as possible, because once you do commit to an LTR, even with the tightest of Game you will lose a measure of the competitive anxiety that made your attentions valuable to any one woman. All your plates fall off AND the girl you’re engaged in an LTR with relaxes. This is root of why men find that the woman they had hot sweaty monkey sex with when they were dating becomes more sexually reserved a few months after they’re a couple. The competitive anxiety is relieved and therefore sexual frequency and quality is no longer a proving trait for her. That’s not to say there aren’t methods to stoke this anxiety in an LTR, but, by comparisson to being single, the frame of the relationship doesn’t have to be contested when she and you understand that she is your only source of intimacy and sex. In a committed relationship, you simply cannot spin plates.
Don’t forget that a woman also uses other women’s advances (or lack thereof) as an external shit test. Even if you’re monogamous (without verbalizing it) or NOT spinning plates, you can still have a de facto plate spin when the waitress or retail clerk flirts with you in front of her — and you don’t back down. Women need to see that their man is desirable. They don’t trust their own intuition because they know it’s harmed them in the past. Also, you know you’re giving her what her inner brain/hamster needs when she has to ask you questions about… Read more »
To me, this is just ridiculous. You need to have a bunch of plates, otherwise you won’t feel confident? How does this help anybody out there? Master PUAs and those who’ve been playing the game for long enough do know how to spin plates, but for everybody else out there, having three-plus plates is a lot of work to attain and to maintain. Is this all that there is to game and whatnot? You need to be fucking a bunch of girls at the same time, otherwise you’ll never be confident, and women will never respect you? There’s got to… Read more »
Men and women are different. You’ll be amazed at how readily high quality women will allow/make themselves one of several plates. I spun plates for a long while until I found a plate that just made me not give one single shit about the other plates. And thus became monogamous by no conscious decision but rather by practice. Abundance can carry into a LTR however. For me it is done by taking the “up to you” approach to a relationship. As in, whether or not we have a relationship is “up to you, babe.” “you know the rules, you can… Read more »
You’ve completely missed the point here Antonio, on a number of issues. Having plates/ options is not so much about giving you confidence in yourself as the confidence to take bold decisions with each plate which interested women respond well to. You are less afraid to put each woman in a situation where she has to either go along with your advances or reject you. The more options you have, the less you care if a random woman you’re dating flakes on you or decides to stop seeing you. Confidence in yourself and self-respect are something that you have to… Read more »
I understand your consternation, but have a read of the Plate Theory series before you pass judgement:
Start with the first one and read forward.
You’d be dropping every woman you dated. Female Plate Theory is hypergamy in practice. https://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2012/01/02/plate-theory-v-ladys-game/
It’s a pleasant fiction for men to believe that women are rational agents, all playing above-board and perfectly congruent in intent and behavior.
I find the thought of being somebody’s plate downright insulting, and I wouldn’t want to do the same to someone else.
this is deeply ingrained feminization. women aren’t men. you’re assuming that women would feel the same way as you about being a plate, but that assumption is wrong.
you need a higher dosage red pill.
Religious polygamists should be able to keep using plate theory inside the marriage. And in fact, they do. Effortlessly. 🙂
The problem with plate theory is it uses an outside event to attain an internal state of mind. The key is to have the internal state of abundance (which comes from knowing that the universe is abundant to your every desire) without outside props.
just read one of the best thing about women can’t believe it is 150 years old… man what happened to humanity
This post epitomizes the crux of a Don Juan. Take heed, incorporate, and practice.
I’m not sure that there is an ideal sexual strategy. Dating more than one girl at a time has benefits and disadvantages. Serial monogamy has benefits and disadvantages. Dating more than one girl is more adventurous, exciting, fun, and sexually thrilling, but is also higher drama and stress and less stable. Having one romantic live in allows for developing domestic bliss and deeper bonds with a girl who can be trained to serve attentively. In my experience I can’t say that one is ultimately better than the other. However after the two year mark of monogamy with one person, shaking… Read more »
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Can you PLEASE add a glossary of all the specialized abbreviations and acronyms you use. “IL” is not something that can be readily Googled, for obvious reasons, and many others seem to be hard to find, even in self-described “manosphere glossaries”. It would be so easy if, when you write, you just ensure each term is either already in the glossary, or add it at that moment. It would also increase the usefulness of your writings.
It’s on the side bar
[…] might seem bad enough, but when it’s combined with ONEitis (the soul-mate myth), a Scarcity Mentality, a subscribing to the myth of Relational Equity or especially a self-righteous dedication to his […]
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[…] whatever women he can because he has no idea now long they’ll last. Rational Male has written more about scarcity mentality here, as have many other ‘Sphere writers and how it can be detrimental to a man’s […]
Hm. Indeed, plate theory sounds much like “dating” used to be in old times, except there may have been less actual sex spinning around. Still, at least some men reading manosphere blogs want to have a family eventually. Would you mind telling how long did you continue to spin plates after you’d met Ms. Tommasi? Alternatively, is there a minimum period (measured in month-plates perhaps?) that you’d advise — purely as a rule of thumb — to avoid the obvious AFC pitfalls?
Very well written, however, with so many misspellings it makes me question your credibility. These articles are still being referenced years later and are worth a spell check.
Overall, I thoroughly enjoy reading your blog. Keep up the great work.
@grammarnazi, thanks for the critique. I will review and edit this today.
Will you do me the favor and note any other posts where you see grammatical errors?
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You should check this out – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiZH5eH5eDw. Do you have any advice to keep the frame for already married men so they would not get into a situation like this? Thanks!
Reblogged this on eghost247.
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I try to read plate theory every now and again to keep me focused and avoiding oneitis tendencies. For the most part this has worked. But there is one plate, who has been a plate for a couple years now that kind of ebbs and flows in my ranking but has been consistently showing a high IL for almost nine months now. We’ve never had the ‘talk’ and I havent felt any pressure, which means she is keeping her options open, which is what I expect from all women. But given her sustained high interest level I’m wondering if this… Read more »
“I am confused a bit what moving organically to a more committed relationship looks like.”
Not like your comment.
“When I feel inclined to do so it feels like more out of oneitis anxiety, so maybe that’s the answer to that, no?”
Given the above, probably yes.
[…] The Consummate Bachelor is confident in himself, often to the point of near cockiness or arrogance. He is all-too-aware of his ‘value’ and lives with a clear understanding of Abundance Theory. […]